he never ceases to amuse me

For Love of That Mess

For @parkkate


It was just so smooth, he couldn’t help himself. Silky, and soft. It felt nothing like the way it looked. He’d expected knots. He’d expected it to be coarse. Instead, it parted around his fingers, letting them dive deeper. He could gently twist it around his fingers, and it would stay there, soft and silky. He could grip it tight, and tug, and it never gave way.

It felt like heaven for his hands. It was like—

“If you could stop worshiping my hair for a moment, my cock would like some attention.”

Blinking, Draco realised Harry had stopped kissing his neck. Watching forlornly, he slid his hands out of Harry’s hair.

“Oh fuck, don’t make that face,” Harry groaned.

“What face?” Draco asked, sliding his hands down Harry’s torso instead.

“Like I killed your bloody cat or something.”

Draco made a noncommittal sound, looking down between them. How long had they been necking, anyway?

Harry sighed, and then the room spun, and Draco was no longer sitting on Harry’s lap, but was lying under him instead. Harry ground against his hip, and returned his mouth to Draco’s neck.

Making a pleased sound, Draco buried his hands in Harry’s hair again.

The sound of fond exasperation against his neck couldn’t ruin this for him, as he twisted the strands around his fingers.


Written just for you, Kate, and your love of Draco burying his hands in Harry’s hair =)  

3

Lucien chuckled with a frighting gleam of malice in his eyes, “Even in your most despondent moment, you still hold on to your pride,” he spoke to Klaus as he clenched the nerves of your neck with his unfathomable strength. You struggled for breath, clawing at Lucien’s hand that was one squeeze away from suffocating you into darkness. Klaus’ eyes breathed concern toward you, his hands griping tightly onto the chains he was bound to, in tension.

“Ooh, I struck a nerve, I see,” Lucien smiled in malicious amusement. “I suppose after all these years, you’ve finally got a taste of what its like to be rendered completely helpless by your better.” Lucien spat those words with such personal meaning that as he said each word his grip on your raw throat tightened and he lifted your entire body from the ground merely with his one hand. Your vision began to blur as your sneakers struggled to brush the floor.

Enough!” Klaus roared, his eyes unable to leave you. “She’s nothing, Lucien. Your grievance lies with me; she has nothing to do with any of this. You’ve waited so long to see me suffer; well, here I am; chained, helpless. Why don’t you start the maltreatment I’ve been expecting, hmm?”

Lucien paused a slight moment to process, then proceeding to laugh in hardhearted amusement; carelessly withdrawing his supernatural seize from your throat, you immediately hit the floor, your airways expanding as you wheezed for a breath of air that didn’t cause your throat to burn with each passing breath. Lucien continued to laugh. “You never cease to amaze me, Niklaus. You Mikaelson’s, so complicated and… pathetic, really. Even in the face of death you have something to say, don’t you?” Klaus gritted his teeth and averted his gaze to the floor; in his mind he wanted to dig the deepest hole known to man and throw every indication of worry into it, but he was having trouble even lifting the shovel. “You keep your hopelessly mad love a secret from this poor girl here, and yet she seems to be the only one who hasn’t noticed. You try..” Lucien started slowly, gripping Klaus’s jaw, forcing him to look him in the eye, “to protect her by averting the suffering onto you, but I know,” Lucien whispered, his pupils beginning to glow red as a burning coal, his under-eyes lacing with veins of hunger, “better than anyone, that true pain and suffering is watching your one true love being taken away from you, and not being able to do a thing about it. And so, Nik… you’re about to feel my pain.”

Growl // Giriboy

Originally posted by hinoata


He regretted it. God, hid he regret it.

‘Get her a dog’ Vasco said.
'She’ll adore you’ C Jamm said.

That was the first, and last time he’d ever be listening to either of them.
For anything. Ever.

He wasn’t exactly the jealous type, that was too cliche.
Did he get possessive? Hell yeah. You were the best thing he’d ever had, of course he was possessive.
He just trusted you.

You tended to go to clubs, shows- the general places of being with
someone like him.

You hung out with the guys.
You hung around the studio- you had no choice but to be around the guys.

Of all things he’d lose you to, he thought it would be one of the other artists under Just Music.
Hell, even another rapper in general could have swept you off your feet.
He knew it was possible, he just never thought it would happen.

He also didn’t expect you to be stolen from him in the matter of seconds.
Ah yes. Two, to be exact.

As soon as he held up the fluffy bundle, you were no longer his. Your entire world now revolved around 'Dogma’.

His eyes watched the black puff roll around, nip at your hand, and chased you as you crawled along the floor. Much to his dismay.

He had things he wanted to share with you, and at the moment, he didn’t think you’d even notice if he caught on fire.

'Bet she’d notice if /he/ caught on fine—’
he mumbled to himself.
And no, he had no intentions of hurting the dog.

Stretching out, Dogma squirmed a bit as he lay on his back.
You began rubbing his tummy, to which he let out a playful growl like sound.

To this, you squealed, and continued.

Siyoung rolled his eyes, and got up, turning on his heel to head to the
bedroom, dropping down on his back.
He ran his hand through his hair, just soaking up the regret, and thinking
of how much pain he was going to cause the two rappers that talked him into this.

Though, soon enough, you joined him; Dogma having fallen asleep on the living room floor.

'Siyoung?’ you called, peeking into the room.
He simply hummed in response, and you offered up a faint frown; 'What’s wrong?’

'Nothing at all, nothing at all.’

You weren’t stupid. Besides, no cuss words?
No nicknames? Not even a snarky comment?
That was absolutely not the response of your boyfriend being fine.

'Shouldn’t you be pampering your new child?’

Ahhhhhh- that was his problem.
You let out a snort, climbing onto the bed to sit at his side; ’/Someones/ jealous.. Didn’t know the oh-so-amazing Giriboy was capable of such feelings.’

The laugh he released was dull.
You couldn’t help but be amused- 'You bought him, and yet you’re jealous?
You never cease to amaze me.’

As you spoke, you began tapping your fingers against his
stomach, causing him to shift a bit. 'I’m not jealous. Being jealous
is fcking childish.’

As the words came out, you knew it was a lie.
You could tell by the tone in his voice.
It was honestly quite cute, in an odd way.

Just dropping the topic, you began patting on his stomach, entertaining yourself.

Pressing down a bit, you puffed your lips, but stilled at the grunt that left him. Soon enough, a grin was on your face; 'Hm.. I wonder..’ you began.

Your hands pushed up the material covering his stomach - much to his displeasure - and began tracing small patterns.

'If I rub on you… do you growl, too?’

He couldn’t help the laugh that left him, before looking over to you.

'You should find out, babe.’

The Cliche Lives (Zack Taylor First Date Fluff)

PromptFic requests would you please write something where Zack is on a first date with a girl he really likes just some romantic sweet fluff.



Zack was nervous for his date with (Y/N). He sat outside Trini’s house, waiting for her to come out, so she could help him get over some butterflies. He eventually got tired of just sitting around, so he paced instead.

Finally, Trini jumped down from her window and glared at Zack. “What do you want?”

“Woah, Crazy Girl! What’s with the mean face? Can’t a guy talk to his friend without the hostility?” Zack smirked at her to piss her off.

“No, he can’t.” She started climbing the side of her house towards he window.

“Wait, wait, wait! It’s just that I have my first date with (Y/N) tonight and I’m just kind of nervous,” he admitted with a blush.

Trini gave him a blank look before she burst out laughing. “You, Zack Taylor, are having cold feet?! Oh my god, this is awesome. I have to text the others,” Trini pulled out her phone, pulling up the group chat with an evil glare.

“Trini! Come on! Help me!” Zack whined. “This date has to go well. I really like her.”

Trini rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter to me. It’s not like there are many ways it could go wrong anyways. I mean, unless you decide to jump onto another speeding vehicle, I’m sure she’ll love you.” Trini actually looked pained at her own words.

Zack tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows. “Wow… that was actually nice… I think.”

Trini shoved him. “Get the fuck out of here, douche. You have disrespected me. Leave the premises.”

Zack laughed and hopped away backwards. He spun around lazily and put his arm in the air, waving behind him. “Thanks! See you in detention tomorrow!”

Trini jumped into the air, easily reaching her window with her supernatural powers. “Good luck! Don’t choke!” And with that, Trini slammed her window shut.

Zack tripped and sighed in Trini’s general direction. He knew Trini would be able to help him. However brutal it was.


Zack arrived at (Y/N)’s house about 10 minutes later - just in time for their 7 pm date. He knocked on the door and stood back, patiently waiting for someone to answer. Luckily, it was her, so he didn’t have to talk to anyone else.

But maybe he should’ve talked to someone else first to better prepare himself because damn, she was perfect. Zack smiled brightly at her, and held out his hand as an invitation.

“Hey there, beautiful.”

She raised her eyebrow at him. “Cliche, much?” she smirked.

“Oh, uh, I- I mean, um, hi?” Zack stuttered.

She laughed and gently laid her hand in his offered one. “Getting you all flustered is fun. You’re cute when you blush.”

Zack smiled evilly. “Ah, I’ll get you back for that.”

“Later. Now, where are we going. You said dress in easy to move in clothes that are warm.”

Zack led her away from the house. “You’ll just have to see, won’t you?”


As they neared Zack’s hideout, he decided that it was a good time to blindfold  (Y/N). 

“You’re totally going to murder me out here aren’t you. So cliche, bringing me out to the dark, empty woods to slit my throat.”

“Oh, shut it. You may be the prettiest girl I’ll meet, but you’re still a pain,” Zack laughed.

They finally reached the abandoned train car of his. Zack pulled off the blindfold and outstretched his hands, internally trying to calm himself. He didn’t really know what she would think of his hideaway. He tried to gauge her reaction through her facial expressions.

“Ah, so is this your evil lair where you’ll torture and kill me?” she asked with a playful smile. She approached Zack grabbed onto his torso and spun him around. “I suppose I’ll just have to let the handsome criminal mastermind do his thing now, huh?”

Zack beamed at her. “I suppose you will,” he said as he spun with her tunelessly. Risking it, he carefully pressed his lips to (Y/N)’s. He could feel her smiling, so he held the position a bit longer, savoring the warmth. 

When he pulled away, he found her blushing and trying to hide her face. “Look who’s the flustered one now,” Zack joked. 

(Y/N) huffed, but didn’t deny it. 

“Come here. I want to show you something.” Zack took her hand and led her to the train car. He found the ladder that he used to use before he became a Power Ranger and gestured for (Y/N) to go first. She climbed the ladder while Zack naturally climbed the side of the car. They reached the top, and Zack brought her to the edge nearest to the cliff drop-off. 

He sat down and patted the spot next to him. (Y/N) sat down and linked her hand with his without hesitation. “So, what are you showing me?”

Zack let himself relax when he felt her fingers intertwine with his. “Patience.”

Slowly, the lights of Angel Grove began lighting up. One by one, streetlights lit up, the lighthouse, homes, and so on. But what Zack really wanted to show her came on last. 

“There,” he pointed to the water. Boats were passing by the docks, all lit up. The lighthouse also circled around the. The water reflected the light beautifully. It faltered once in a while with ripples. “The water never fails to amaze me.”

(Y/N) stared at the lights in awe. “I suppose cliches are your thing.”

Zack chuckled. “Wow, you never cease to amaze me.”

“Good.”

The two sat in silence while they watched the ships slowly float by. At some point, (Y/N)’s head rested on Zack’s shoulder and Zack’s head rested on her’s.

“Cliches are good,” she whispered.

Zack huffed in amusement. “Are they?”

“… Only with you.”

Zack felt his chest warm up. He pushed (Y/N)’s hair behind her ear and, for the second time that night, kissed her, breathed her in, smiled with her, and fell in love with her.

Super Junior reaction to them coming home and seeing you wearing a onesie and dancing/singing to their songs

For anon

-kyu

PS the name of the songs are linked so you can listen to them

Leeteuk

Leeteuk would be tired and exhausted from a long day at work. He honestly just wanted to get home and eat dinner before snuggling up with you in bed. Arriving at home, he heard a familiar song blaring through the apartment. Closing the door softly, he would notice it to be Rokkugo. Following the noise, he would find himself in he kitchen and watching you dance around in you ducky onesie and singing along to the song. You would be so engrossed with cooking and singing that you wouldn’t notice him smiling and leaning against the doorway before speaking up and giving you a mild heart attack.

‘Always knew we should have preformed that song in onesies.’

Heechul

Heechul would be sleeping in the bedroom when he wakes up from the sound of Devil playing. It wasn’t uncommon to hear his own songs being played in the apartment, but it was weird to hear it at this time. It was 8am and you weren’t in bed with him. You had gotten up a little early and went to chill in the lounge. Curious, he walks to the lounge to see you dancing along to the song, all moves on point and his cat onesie that he had gotten for his birthday. He couldn’t help but let out a cackle, which cause you to turn around and blush deep red.

‘How can someone be so cute yet so talented in dancing with a onesie?’

Yesung

Yesung would be coming home from the pet store. He would have taken the two dogs along with him while you remained at home. It was slightly cold so you dressed in something a little warmer and decided to play some music. You were waiting for Yesung to come home anyway so the two of you could eat. Waiting, Ooops started playing and you loved the song. Grabbing the remote from the table, you started singing and dancing, unaware of the presence that was stifling a laugh at the doorway. Spinning around, you all but screamed and dropped the remote when seeing Yesung laughing his head off at your performance and also that it was in the turtle onesie.

‘Jagiya!! Do it again, oh god I can’t breath….please dance again.’

Kangin

Kangin would be on his way home from playing baseball with some friends. He would be exhausted, sore and just wanting to shower. Opening the door slightly, Rockstar blared through the open space. Standing at the door, he watched in amusement as you slide down the hallway with some sunglasses on and the raccoon onesie. His eyes followed you as you danced ridiculously around and jumped up and down before he tilted his head and had a smirk on his face.

‘Mmmm baby, I can definitely get used to coming home to this.’

Keep reading

Comfort

It was @accidental-rambler‘s birthday this week.   Which means I had the perfect excuse to write Nessian smut!  Happy birthday, Kate!

He felt weary to his very bones.

              Cassian knew he should probably eat, but his appetite had been dulled by his visits to the camps, his fight to get the girls trained. All he really wanted now was his bed and her.

              Nesta.

              The name was like a  prayer in his mind, and he found himself almost desperate for her, as he opened the door to the room they shared.  He wanted the familiar sight of her – so often, he’d come back to this room, to see her cross legged on their bed, wrapped in a heavy dressing gown, her hair tugged up into a messy mass on top of her head. Cassian knew he was the only one that ever got to see her like that; to the rest of the world, she was always carefully dressed, her hair wound into an impeccable braid around her head.

              He opened the door to the room, his weariness almost entirely replaced by eagerness, and came up short.

Keep reading

My Maid ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

Wanna do another Halloween one except THIS TIME with Wilfy and Darkipoo being a cute couple and Wilford being an idiot getting stuck in his Halloween costume, so LET’S DO IT!!!

Ahh Halloween. It may surprise you to know that Dark rather liked the seasonal occasion, it amused him to no end to see people get so excited over the prospect of scares, multitudes of candy and dressing up. Well….not people, only one particular person in fact. His complete and utter goof of a boyfriend Wilford Warfstache. Dark just loved how enthusiastic he was about the whole thing, and had even been persuaded to partake in certain aspects of it with him. He was currently stood and dressed in a cheap vampire outfit, a cape draping over his back whilst two fake fangs were stuck on his canines; he’d never admit it but he rather liked how they looked on him.

‘Wilford what is taking you so long?’

'YOU CAN’T RUSH PERFECTION DARK!’

Dark rolled his eyes with an amused sigh as he hovered outside their shared bedroom, for some reason Wilford was taking quite a bit of time with his costume. Dark grinned when he thought of it, Wilford had insisted on finding the skimpiest maid outfit that the internet could possibly offer. Wilford had even tried to persuade Dark to go for feminine outfit but there were some things that Dark was not prepared to do and “no Wilford I am NOT cross-dressing with you, I love you but there is a line and cross-dressing is the line” put an end to that particular dream of Wilford’s. Dark grinned a little at the thought, until a small stream of seemingly frustrated sounds started emanating from the bedroom.

'Fucking…goddamn tank top….’

'Are you okay? Do you need any hel-’

'NO I’M FINE DON’T COME IN HERE!’

Dark laughed amusedly, placing his hand on the doorknob to turn it and swing the door open.

'Wilford if you wanted to keep me out then that was the wrong thing to say….’

Dark eyes glittered with his gentle amusement as he opened the door, fully expecting to see Wilford topless whilst holding a piece of clothing in his hands and trying to resist the urge to tear it to pieces. He was half right. Dark raised a hand to cover his mouth as he grinned heavily, oh this was just too good.

'Oh my god….’

Dark fell into a laughing fit as he observed Wilford’s state, He was indeed topless, or partially, his torso was bare due to the fact that by some mystical way, Wilford had managed to trap his head and arms in the 'tank top’ piece of clothing. Thus rendering his arms stuck above his head whilst also meaning that he couldn’t see anything around him, which he was extremely happy about.

'Yeah yeah go on laugh it up why don'tcha!’

Dark most certainly did, for a few rather lengthy minutes in fact whilst Wilford stood there grumbling and struggling lightly. Dark did however manage to compose himself, but he couldn’t keep the massive grin off his face as he paced over with a light sigh.

'You are such a moron.’

Wilford let out a gentle, indignant huff as Dark chuckled and scanned the scene, immediately starting to take the material and yank it slowly as Wilford wiggled. Quite a bit of it was bunched at his underarms so Dark decided to fumble about there, which to his surprise made Wilford jump back with a light yip.

'H-hey be careful!’

Wilford exclaimed, he gulped a little at the thought of how this….was actually quite a vulnerable position that he was in. He certainly didn’t want Dark to undergo that realisation and end up…..taking advantage of it. Unfortunately for Wilford however, upon his exclamation Dark had paused….and let his lips stretch into a wide a feral smirk; he was going to have some fun with this.

'Why Wilford whatever is the matter? I’m only trying to help….’

Dark let his hands move down to where the edges of the material were clinging to Wilford’s lower ribs, and he slipped his hands underneath as he 'tried’ to remove it and lift it up. Wilford meanwhile had already fallen into light giggles as he squirmed and flinched.

'Dahark you’re nahahat helpihing!!’

Wilford’s giggles were squeaky and sporadic as he tried to squirm away from Dark’s touch, but alas, the latter man was extremely persistent as his fingertips started to massage Wilford’s lower ribcage.

'Well obviously it would help more if you could stay still, honestly why on earth are you so squirmy?’

Dark feigned innocence but Wilford could hear the amusement and mischief in his voice as his giggling increased in volume, he was rapidly trying to tug at his arms to see if he could at least bring them down a few inches; but nothing worked.

'Yohohohohou knohohow why yohohou dihihihick!!’

Dark chuckled loudly as he allowed his hands to move down and pinch Wilford’s sides, making said man yelp and try to jerk as he cackled and tried shuffling away.

'No I really don’t, why don’t you enlighten me?’

Dark’s smirk was feral and yet playful as he squeezed the ticklish flesh rapidly, relishing in Wilford’s wild reactions as he tried twisting out of reach. Dark’s tickling hands only followed though, there was no way for Wilford to escape.

'FUHUHUHUCK YOHOHOU DOHOHOUCHE!’

Dark gasped lightly with heavy indignance, but he couldn’t stop his fond grin from emerging as he observed Wilford’s form. Wilford meanwhile was enraptured by nerves, uncertainty as well as plain and simple mirth; the fact that he couldn’t see whatever Dark was doing made bubbles explode in his tummy as he listened hard. No matter how hard he listened though, Dark still caught him off guard when his hands made contact with his belly.

'I was only asking a simple question, there was no need for such rudeness!' 

Wilford was spluttering with his embarrassment as his bubbly laughter pierced the air and bounced around the room, whilst the man himself felt his knees buckle thus making him fall to the floor as he tried to shuffle away from his attacker.

'THIHIHIHIS IHIHIS RUHUHUHUDE!!’

Dark snickered as he followed Wilford to the floor, perching on his thighs delicately as he squeezed and pinched the light pudge of Wilford’s lower tummy, making the owner squeal and laugh rather adorably. Which Dark did not hesitate to point out.

'Actually I think this is rather cute….’

Dark’s fingertips swept over Wilford’s waistline thus making him buck and yelp in a beautifully desperate fashion, all the while he was tugging fruitlessly at his arms. At Dark’s words Wilford was almost thankful that the garment was covering his face since he could feel his cheeks heating up magnificently.

'SHUHUHUHUHUT YOHOHOUR FAHAHAHACE!!’

Dark only had to hear Wilford’s words to know he’d succeeded in his relaxed attempts to fluster him, he’d done it so many times it was like second nature to him; Wilford however had certainly not gotten used to it.

'So demanding, one would’ve thought that someone in your position would be more polite…’

Dark spoke in a light growl as his fingers splayed over Wilford’s belly and sides teasingly, making the man beneath him shiver and let out a gentle whimper. Dark traced light circles and patterns over the quivering flesh, as his hands ever so slowly began drifting towards Wilford’s kryptonite. His strong, sensitive hips.

'Nonononoho Dahark dohon’t do it, j-juhust get me ohout of this please!!’

Wilford’s words bubbled out from him rapidly and haphazardly, which only encouraged Dark to continue in his mischievous endeavour with a wide smirk.

'Oh my darling Wilford, you’re a strong man….I’m sure you’ll get out eventually.’

Dark’s gentle touches ceased….and his ruthlessness reared it’s tickly head as Dark wormed his thumbs under the waistline of Wilford’s maid skirt so he could vibrate them over Wilford’s hip bones.

'NAHAHAHAHAHAHA FAHAHAHAHAHAHACK!!!’

Wilford was in immediate hysterics, he was bucking and writhing as the bundles of nerves were tormented relentlessly and with an amazingly determined vigour. Dark knew he was enjoying this way too much….but then when it comes to making Wilford hysterical, from his point of view there was no such thing as too much.

'Awwww tickle tickle sweetheart….’

Dark cooed delicately as Wilford wailed desperately, ticklish jolts surging through his entire system as Dark’s thumbs moved to the bowels of his hips; he massaged harshly this rendering a scream from Wilford.

'PLEHEHEHEHEHEHE NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!’

Dark was enraptured by Wilford’s incoherency, and as a result he ended up being shocked when a sharp ripping sound filled the room shortly before Wilford’s hands latched onto his with desperate abandonment.

'Nohohoho mohohohore…..’

Dark couldn’t speak for a moment….Wilford, in that moment was just stunning. His hair was mussed and his lips were spread wide in a beautiful, dazzling, and slightly exhausted smile as his cheeks burned with his breathlessness and flustered feelings. Dark felt hypnotised as he looked over Wilford, who in turn was looking at him with a hint of confusion.

'God….you’re so beautiful….’

Wilford had no time to react before Dark’s lips crashed into his with warmth and sincere passion, Wilford reciprocated eagerly and couldn’t help a happy grin forming as a light hum left his lips. It lasted for a long while, but they both had to withdraw begrudgingly due the annoyance that was their bodies’ needs for oxygen. Wilford was himself in a bliss filled daze, whilst Dark recovered and soon bore a gentle smile as he looked down to where Wilford’s hands grasped his.

'I told you you’d get yourself out.’

Wilford blinked a few times at the sound of Dark’s deeply-toned sarcasm, he smiled at Dark with a hint of exasperation as he looked to where his hands rested; he decided to give Dark’s hands a small squeeze of warning.

'Shut up you….’

Dark chuckled as he leant over Wilford with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

'Why don’t you make me?’

Wilford raised an eyebrow at Dark’s demeanour and giggled a little as he spoke with exaggerated shock lacing his voice.

'Oh you dirty devil!’

Dark let out a barking laugh as he gazed down at Wilford, the mischief that bubbled within the man never ceased to amaze and amuse him; it was one of the endless things that Dark loved about him, mainly because it helped coax out Dark’s own mischievous side. Much like now as Dark’s gaze flicked over Wilford’s attire.

'Mm….perhaps I require a maid.’

Dark’s eyes glittered dangerously as Wilford’s own visage seemed to shine and perk up, his lips quirking into a light smirk as he sat up and leant so he was upright and face to face with Dark; he may have only whispered, but his words echoed in Dark’s mind.

'Then perhaps I should get to work.’

Oh those men, nothing will ever really compare to them will it? Their relationship will never die either….it may get a little dusty or glossed over but never forgotten. Much like the season of Halloween. They are eternal.

DOOOONE HOPE YOUS LIKE IIIIIIT AND YEAH XD LUV YOUS XXX

UNOFFICIAL RANKING OF VILLAINS

Alright, Clue Crew, here it is- the villain ranking nobody asked for!  This was harder than expected, and I tried to make a logical way of ordering things, but who am I to judge who was the best ne’er-do-well?  If you have any questions about my ranking, want an explanation, or just want to yell at me, shoot me an ask.  

HERE WE GO:

33. SCK- Mitch Dillon

Do I remember much about this guy? No, no I do not.  I remember that he was a drug dealer and wasn’t in most of the game, so I never felt anything towards him.  That being said, he did kill a high school student, so I wouldn’t mess with him.  As far as character development goes, I give him an F.  Sorry not sorry Mitch.

32. MED- Sonny Joon? Or Kiri??? Who tf knows???

The real culprits of MED are the people who thought this game was a good idea.  All jokes aside, I don’t know if I want to list Sonny Joon as a villain, because he’s been such a cool character that has reappeared (but never actually appeared) throughout the games.  I don’t like how they introduced him- a game show?  Really?  It sounds fun in theory, but it doesn’t logically lead to finding that Annunaki shit he was looking for, in my mind at least.  He could have easily found Nancy (they have enough mutual friends by now) and been like “Hey what’s up hello I wanna find this shit help me out”.  Anyway, I think his character design for the game was sloppy- they spent so much time hyping this guy up over the course of the games, and then we meet this purple-haired guy who only speaks in riddles that try to make him sound edgy?  That’s like half of the people on tumblr (no offense to tumblr lol).  This game lowkey pisses me off, and they could do better with Sonny’s character.  As for Kiri, she was just kinda there until the end when she was like “lol okay i’ll be the bad guy in this competition” no thanks.

31. SCK: R- Detective Beech

I was hesitant to put this game into the mix, but it’s only fair, because it has a different ending than the original SCK.  Detective Beech seemed weird from the get-go, but I wasn’t ready for him to pull a fucking gun on Nancy.  And if you choose the wrong things, he will legitimately kill you, and it’s extreme.  It was cool that they changed the ending, but let’s get real here, when they said there would be a different ending and then Detective Beech showed up, did anyone not think “yeah it’ll probably be him”.  There were enough turns to get me to doubt a bit, but it was pretty obvious.  So, yeah, points for pulling a gun on Nancy, deductions for being obvious.

30. TRT- Lisa Ostrum

Oh, Lisa- what a chatty character.  She literally never shuts up in the final tower scene, and then decides to momentarily incapacitate Nancy for her big escape instead of trying something more permanent.  That pepper spray had the most extra name ever, like you could have just said “pepper spray” to get the message across.  Also- since everyone is snowed in, she wouldn’t have anywhere to go once she got away.  Flawed plan aside, she always bugged me.  Sorry Lisa, take your catchphrases and bobblehead somewhere else.

29. CLK- Jane Willoughby

CLK is fine as a game, and I love the aesthetic, but it’s not one of my favorites.  I thought Jane was an okay villain, with identity theft and attempted robbery and all that jazz, but she doesn’t really stick out in my mind, save for the plethora of “you betcha”s.  The endgame was also weird to me- I wouldn’t expect a game set in the 1930’s to end in a car chase that causes a pie explosion, but less believable things have happened to Nancy Drew.  I don’t hate Jane as a villain, but this game came right after some really stellar games- some of my favorites (DDI, SHA, and CUR)- so I can see why this one felt a little flat to me.  Jane’s plan was actually pretty good, and it’s something that couldn’t be pulled off today as easily as in the 30s, so props to her.

28. STFD- Dwayne Powers

I honestly have mixed feelings about Dwayne because of everything that has transpired with his character, but attempting murder out of jealousy? That’s extreme, and I feel like it was a well-done crime, all things considered.  Plus, I didn’t notice until after playing the game a few times that Owen W. Spayder is an anagram for Dwayne Powers.  Very sneaky, HeR.  While I’ll cover Dwayne in RAN later, I do think that he would be one to seek revenge, so his return almost made sense to me.

27. SSH- Taylor Sinclair

This guy seemed overly nice from the beginning.  Cookies from Oaxaca?  You know he’s hiding something.  He was too nice to make me feel comfortable when talking to him, and locking Nancy in a grave with a corpse? Eek, no thanks.  I’m kinda peeved that we never got to really catch him, because while we were trying to get out of that stone death chamber, Taylor was captured, Henrik regained his memory, AND all the other characters decided to get all chummy with each other.  Pretty convenient ending, if you ask me.

26. RAN- Dwayne Powers (again)

Oh god, here we go.  RAN is not a loved game by most of the Clue Crew (there are some outliers who like it, no shame to them), but in all honesty, I liked that they brought back an old villain.  I don’t like this game at all, and I think they could have done something waaaay more creepy with a returning villain (it’s clear Dwayne has been tracking Nancy- he could have played so many mind games with her regarding past cases), but yeah, bringing back Dwayne wasn’t a terrible idea at all, they just went about it wrong.  His nefarious acts were more villainous to me in this game for whatever reason- maybe it was his hiding in plain sight (or hiding Bess in plain sight for that matter), or his strategic planning that showed just how far he’d go to get revenge.  It makes sense that he got away tbh- I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw him again.  If we do, can I ask HeR to make that one extra scary- he could set up a series of events that play out like all her past cases leading up to that one, and make references only she could know about, and damn this is a good idea someone hire me.

25. HAU- Fiona, like kinda

Can I put Fiona down as the culprit here?  Like, yeah, she kidnapped a guy and pushed Nancy down a hole and caused some havoc, but she’s also a feral old woman on a jet pack, so is it her fault she’s this way??  Who’s the real culprit of this game, a society that will accept this and say “ah fuck it she’s a banshee that dude’s gone pass the non-alcoholic drinks”?  Anyway.  While I like HAU and it’s quirky puzzles and charming atmosphere and gorgeous music, that ending is so out of left field it’s kind of funny to me- like suddenly the game just goes “HERE HAVE AN OLD WOMAN GIVE YOU A JUMP SCARE THEN SOLVE A HARD CHEMICAL PUZZLE”- it seems so out of place to me, but it made for a relatively pleasant ending for all, so no harm done, I guess?

24. TRN- Lori Gerard

Lori is another villain that doesn’t stick out to me, because I honestly see her as an accidental villain.  I don’t think she wanted to hurt Nancy, I just think she wanted to prove everyone wrong and show herself as a smart and capable woman.  However, the way she went about it wasn’t cool, so yeah, villain status for her.  I thought her disappearing act was clever, and her character as a whole is hilarious to me, so she’s not on the rotten side of villains in my perspective.  Lori is dramatic as hell and super spoiled so that always makes for an entertaining character, and it wasn’t SUPER obvious that they would make the hostess the culprit, so she’s not too high on the list, but it doesn’t make her bad.  Honestly, she and Tino Balducci deserve each other.  

23. CRE- Mike Mapu

Big. Island. Mike.  The man, the myth, the legend.  The Clue Crew’s fascination with this character will never cease to amuse me.  And yet, while I think he’s a fine character, I’m not thrilled by his role as a villain.  His reveal at the end just seemed so…anticlimactic?  And he seemed to quickly change his mind?  One minute he was all “we have angered Kane Okala oh nooooo” and then the next he’s like “y’all can die for all I care” and peaces tf out of the volcano or wherever they were.  This whole game was just very “eh” for me.  Big Island Mike is a great meme, and good on him for going all “fuck you” to capitalism and whatnot, but I wasn’t thrilled by his ENDLESS parade of chores and the random-ass snowcone guessing game annoyed me more than Fox & Geese (hard to believe).  Still, I’d stay at Mike’s resort if I went to Hawaii, because I think he’d be a fun guy.

22. ICE- Yanni Volkstaia

Now, I don’t want to come right out and say that ICE was made in the Cold-War era as a thinly-veiled anti-USSR game, but nobody’s believing that Yanni is really from “motherland Fredonia”, amiright?  All jokes aside, I like ICE as a game (with the exception of fox and geese jfc), and the ending had you believing there was a different villain every minute (or like, every five minutes), but I was kind of disappointed that one of the wisest, most intriguing characters in the whole game was the villain.  That being said, if you go back and play the game, you can see how Yanni is constantly talking about how wolves are bad omens and this one is a sign of evil aaaaaaaah and it makes sense that he’s trying to get people away from the lodge that way.  Also, this guy is a pro athlete.  Do you really want me to believe that Nancy Drew can run him off the snow and force him to confess??

21. TOT- Scott Varnell

TOT is kind of a breath of fresh air as a low-stakes internship simulator where you can run stoplights and take pictures of clouds and trap mice a thousand times.  That being said, I don’t feel threatened by Scott, so he seems like a more casual villain to me, if that makes any sense.  Nancy kind of inadvertently saves his life, right?  Like kind of?  So I’m pretty chill with this whole game and with Scott- at the end of the game, it really feels like nothing big was lost, but nothing big was gained, which is honestly a nice break from the mindset of “do this or you DIE BY THE HANDS OF THE VILLAIN”

20. FIN- Joseph Hughes

Why does Nancy trust this guy so much throughout the game??? It annoys me to no end that she tells him e v e r y t h i n g.  But really, I couldn’t help but feel bad for this guy.  You find out that his brother died, so he might be in denial or in the early stages of dementia.  Still, he kidnapped Maya, and almost got her and Nancy killed (whether that was intentional or not), and that last scene with him when Nancy was trying to tell him what was really going on was terrifying to me when I was younger.  He seemed sorry though, so he’s not a ~hardcore villain~ in my eyes.

19. DAN- Minette

I feel like making Minette the villain was a really predictable move, but there needs to be a predictable character every once in awhile, right?  I loved her erratic and aggressive character, but the endgame was so weird to me that it kind of spoiled the game for me.  However, I liked that HeR made Minette a designer for plus-sized women, and that plot to bug the First Lady’s dress?  Clever.  The ending with blocking Minette’s attacks will forever confuse me- it seemed very out of left field and honestly, I want Nancy to beat someone up, not just block their sound-specific hits.  I was also disappointed about Minette’s reason for her mask- they couldn’t have tried a little harder and made it some botched plastic surgery or something??

18. WAC- Corine Myers

The roommate trope!  Love it or hate it, it’s here.  I have mixed feelings about WAC- I generally like it, but the characters’ oversized eyes bug me to no end, and I feel like there could be a little more Edgar Allen Poe mixed in there, but overall it’s a solid game.  I can’t stand some of the characters- Leela is so fucking annoying (I think it’s her voice that gets to me), and the twin reveal makes absolutely no sense (how’re you gonna live two lives if you only have documentation for one person??), but they’re not the villains, so I’ll gloss over that.  Corine had a well-thought-out plan and stuck to it, even though she came close to killing a few people.  She’s a wickedly smart girl, and she knows it, and I think that’s what made her so dangerous.  Also, did Corine not go to jail for what she did?  I get that she’s a minor, but she caused some real damage to these people.  Whatever- I don’t think she’d come for Nancy for revenge, but I wouldn’t want to room with her again.

17. TMB- Abdullah Bakhoum

I’ve loved learning about Ancient Egypt since I was little, so TMB was really fun for me.  I liked Abdullah as a villain- it certainly made sense why he did what he did- but again, it felt a little obvious.  He’s too self-centered and abrasive to let anyone else get that much attention, even an unnamed villain.  Anyway, I think TMB gets a lot of flack for being forgettable, and yeah I can understand that, but it’s a solid game and that end puzzle was really fun for me, so I’m still rooting for this game!

16. MHM- Louis Chandler

Louis is a pretty tame villain, in my opinion.  I love MHM, but I never felt like the villain in that game was out to hurt me.  If anything, I was more worried about the mansion itself, because I still believe that it was actually haunted (fucked me up as a kid).  Still, he did a good job of trying to steal the treasure, so props to him.  He did kind of creep me out, and it always bugged me that he kicked Nancy out of the mansion for literally reading the same book he read.

15. ASH- Brenda Carlton

Brenda Carlton is so fucking annoying to me, let’s get that out of the way.  She’s such a slimy reporter that will do anything to get the story she wants (she is willing to dress up as Nancy and set a historic building on fire just to ruin one person’s reputation jfc).  I’m starting to notice a theme of pettiness with these villains, tbh.  Anyway, I commend her dedication to her cause, that’s something I can always respect, but if Nancy Drew can solve your crime from a jail cell, is it really that airtight of a plan??  Tbh I think the reason why I dislike Brenda so much is that she somehow gets everyone to turn on Nancy, a girl that has helped countless people and has a shining reputation.  Also she takes advantage of Ned, who is a naive sweet boy and he doesn’t deserve that!!  I really like ASH, and bringing down Brenda is so satisfying, but I can’t rank her much higher due to my bias.

14. CAR- Elliot Chen

Right off the bat- being strangled by Elliot was traumatizing, like holy shit are these games really intended for children???  Now that I got that out of the way, I liked Elliot’s subtle actions that sent Nancy off the case- helping her with Joy’s different riddles so she wouldn’t look into the accidents both played into the plot and supposedly threw you “off the case”- although it ended up helping you in the end.  Also, props to Elliot for using his talents to make forged art- I’m not saying I agree with it, but if I were a starving artist (and with my major, I’m on that track) I would get where he was coming from.

13. VEN- Helena Berg

It’s always the fun roommate with these games, isn’t it?  Anyway, I think it’s cool how Helena gets all chummy with you then turns out to be il Dottore, but in all honesty, it didn’t come as a surprise to me.  It did seem kind of weird that in a game set in Italy, the German is the culprit- I don’t see where they were going with that one.  And that final chase scene on the map was soooooo pointless- it could have tested some actual skill picked up in the game, like dancing in a cat suit.  Nancy and Helena could have had a dance-off, but nooooooo.  Also, the puzzle at the end. No.  Tbh Helena wasn’t that memorable to me, but good for her for having a crime ring, sothereyougo.

12. SPY- Ewan Macleod

Right off the bat- who in their right minds takes a letter a dead woman wrote to her only daughter and takes notes on it???????  That makes Ewan at least five types of rude.  Anyway, I liked how you start the game on his side and he’s all “oh I’m just here to help tell me what you find and we’ll get this together” and at the end it’s like “haha SIKE BITCH I work for the other group”.  That being said, I don’t think Ewan is very high-up in Revenant because Nancy could have easily killed him (though idk if she would kill anyone… that’d be an interesting concept to look into in future games).  Still, I like Ewan as a character and a villain, but maybe that’s because I like SPY so much.  It’s an emotional game- she’s literally looking into the death of her own mother- and while I don’t like parts of it (Nancy was like 3 when her mom died okay not 10 don’t tell me otherwise), I think Ewan was just enough villain for a game so invested in the past.

11. CRY- Renee Amande

One of the few villains that is truly completely off their rocker, I didn’t realize until my second playthrough that Renee probably killed Bruno Bolet with some of that voodoo hoodoo whatever you call it.  I love CRY and it’s ambience, and I think Renee fit right in with the aesthetic.  Also, you can eat all her chocolate and make Nancy hella sick, which is always a plus in my book.  The way I see it, tbh, you can play CRY one of two ways: either you can believe that Renee is completely crazy, or you can suspend your disbelief (which is fun for a few of these games) and believe in this crystal skull magic, which makes Renee far more powerful and terrifying.  Either way, she was willing to lock Nancy in a crypt and throw away the key, so this woman was willing to do whatever it took to get this damn crystal.

And heeeeeeere’s the top 10!

10. SEA- Soren Bergusson

Poor, sad, villainous Soren.  Nobody likes him so he plans to steal some treasure and possibly kill some people in the process.  In all honesty, I liked Soren as a friend and suspect, and I understand why he hates everyone in Skipbrot: they all hated him first just because he grew up a bit out of town.  While I sympathize with him, he was willing to let Nancy and Magnus just kinda die- like I don’t think he really cared what happened to them.  That’s not the way to make friends, Soren!  He had a solid plan going- he essentially let Nancy do all the puzzle-solving and hard work, which kind of happens in every Nancy Drew game when there’s treasure involved.  I really like SEA, even the sideplot about Ned and Nancy (attack me all you want), so I think Soren is an understandable and solid villain.  I especially like how you can choose if he gets a hard punishment or a more gentle one.  Also, is it confirmed that Soren was the cause of that screaming heard in the ice caves?  Does anyone have an explanation for that? Pls let me know k thx.

9. DED- Victor Lossett

Most phone characters stay in the phone, but not this guy.  He feels it necessary to arrive on the scene halfway through gameplay and turn Nancy’s suspicions on their head.  Iconic.  Honestly, Victor had the right idea by subtly hinting that other suspects could be guilty, and I love that HeR made the very guy that hired Nancy be the culprit.  It was a refreshing twist on the games!  Victor straight-up is not against frying Nancy to a crisp at the end there, whereas some villains try to kill her in less painful ways or even just incapacitate her.  While I can’t forgive him for killing Niko Jovic, one of the raddest characters we never get to meet, I applaud his villainous works.  You go, Victor.  You go.

8. DDI- Andy Jason

And here we see another wonderfully-made double persona in the form of Andy.  I’m honestly surprised he didn’t try to kill Nancy on that whale-watching tour, but his front as a marine life geek who yells “Whales rule!” at you is pretty convincing.  I was also impressed at the lengths he went to in order to frame Katie (he even tied her to a chair to make her look evil!!), and his nefarious acts hide as three separate mysteries.  I hope that hit to the head messed with his memory, because he’d definitely come for Nancy if he got out of jail imo.  I like Andy, although he kinda acts like in the end he sold his soul to the devil to run this crime-rig.  Also, he got this orca from the Russian military- I wanted more on that, that’s wicked!  I definitely think DDI happens when HeR is figuring out what makes a good villain, and while they miss the mark in later games, I think this one was pretty appropriate for its time- and I love replaying it, the atmosphere and villain and endless clam chowder really tie together nicely.

7. DOG- Emily Griffin

DOG wasn’t a scary game in the typical sense, because there really weren’t any jump-scares that made you freak, aside from the dogs in the beginning.  However, the ambience made me feel like someone was watching me, and knowing that one of these nice, quirky people was trying to kill me shows the psychological games DOG played.  I really think this was the beginning of HeR unlocking their potential for terrifying sequences, and they begin to show off in later games.  Also, while MHM and TRT had some ambience, this was the first one that really gave me ~vibes~ that added to the game.  FIN and SSH kinda did, but still.  With all of that in mind, Emily is super creepy to me- knowing that she could do all of those things and keep a facade of a chipper shop owner shows how two-faced people can be.  That endgame was so terrifying- how did Nancy manage to get a picture of Emily coming after her with a random-ass bone??  Also, I loved her little cameo in DAN.

6. CAP- Anja Mittelmeier

Alright.  I’m not crazy about CAP, but someone recently pointed out to me that it echoes past games (not sure how, but it makes me want to give it a second look), so I like it well enough.  That being said, I really think Anja is a great villain here.  She poses herself as a “let’s talk about guys and I can give you advice” kind of person, someone Nancy can relate to, especially with her guy troubles in this game.  Not only that, but Anja purposefully piques Nancy’s interest by feigning concern at first, being all “oh, I don’t know if I should tell you this” to make her more interested.  A+ psychology right there.  While I’m not totally sure most people would go to this much trouble over one guy, I applaud Anja’s pettiness and readiness for revenge.  Speaking of which, I have a sneaking suspicion we haven’t seen the last of her.  Her last line was ominous as hell and I loved it.  I’m here for more Anja screentime (gametime? What’s the phrase here?)

5. LIE- Literally everyone in that dang museum

I love Greek mythology, so I have a bone to pick with LIE.  FIRST OFF- there was no Labyrinth in the story of Persephone, y’all are thinking about the fucking Minotaur.  SECOND OFF- that stage made no sense (I made a post about it earlier, salt salt salt).  I’m not gonna spend this time talking about my problems with LIE, so I’ll leave it at those two examples.  Problems aside, I thought having all the suspects be a part of the art theft rig was… kinda cool?  And I like the characters by themselves: Niobe is sweet and unsure about her part in the group, Grigor is a classic narcissistic actor (I can relate to that 100% lol), Thanos is intimidating but under the surface… he’s still intimidating, and Xenia HOLY SHIT.  Like in that last part with the throne in the underworld won me over for her.  She could come to my place of residence and beat me up and I would thank her (honestly same for Thanos too).  I like the mix of less into the crime-y stuff (Niobe and Grigor) to a whole ‘nother level of criminal (Xenia and Thanos).  Also you know Thanos is coming back with the people that helped him escape- I’m looking forward to it.  So, yeah.  Not my favorite game, but I love the villains here, and I think they did a pretty stellar job.

4. CUR- Jane Penvellyn

CUR is a favorite of mine- it gave me legitimate nightmares as a kid and I was scared to finish it for a long time.  I love how there are miniscule clues scattered around the game pointing to Jane- the subplot about her deceased guinea pig proving her dishonesty (and I think the guinea pig might have died from Jane testing either the hair growth or the pills on it, but who knows), and Jane’s dialogue always trying to steer you away from an answer (she’s always like “I don’t want to talk about this” like okay let’s play skull and bones you macabre child).  This is one of my favorite storylines because it’s so well developed and thought-out, and making the child a culprit was such a good move in my opinion.  Jane’s got a bright future if she was clever enough to do all of that on her own.  However, I think Jane should have gotten a punishment more severe than a strict talk from her father- maybe some family therapy or losing her game privileges or something??  She could have really hurt Linda like jesus don’t give people random-ass pills.  Still, brilliant planning and performance on her part, and brilliant writing and execution on HeR’s part.

3. SHA- Shorty Thurmond

Listen, I love SHA so much- it was one of the first games I played, the book version will forever hold a place on my bookshelf, and the backstory of Frances and Dirk is iconic in the Nancy Drew world.  So, since I had read the book, I knew that Shorty was the villain from the start of the game, but that didn’t stop me from liking him as a character.  He gossips to invite suspicion about other characters and is generally a hilarious character to talk to.  That makes the endgame so much more dramatic and urgent when he reveals himself as the culprit and actively comes for you.  Also, I will never forgive him for the ENDLESS chores or the “heeeeere’s shorty”.  It might be bias, but I gotta put Shorty high on the list just because I love SHA and his character is no exception.  Excellent planning, quality execution, and he almost got away with it (I mean, all of them almost do).  I kind of wish that it was more like the book tho, because he had a little group working for him and he could imitate animal calls that they used to pull off sabotage- still an excellent villain, but some more book stuff would have been cool too.

2. GTH- Clara Thornton

One of the many reasons I love GTH so much is that there’s no real clear villain.  Sure, you can blame Clara for Charlotte’s death, but after looking into all the rich and subtle history of the Thornton family, I don’t think I want to blame Clara.  And who’s to blame for Jessalyn’ disappearance?  Jessalyn?  But I digress on that point.  Let’s say Clara is the villain- she is a fully-dimensional, multi-faceted character that has as many demons as any other character in this game.  The ending of GTH is one of my favorites because you can choose what happens to the supposed “villain”- she can “disappear” and presumably die, making a full circle from Charlotte’s death, or she can be saved, breaking the vicious Thornton family cycle that took so many ancestors.  I could go on and on about GTH and what it means to me, but I won’t bore you all.  Let me just say: I don’t think there is a real villain in this game, I think the blame can be placed just a little bit on everyone, even Nancy if you’re not careful.  

And drumroll please for my top villain thus far!!!

1. SAW- Rentaro Aihara

First thing, SAW still has me shook to this day- I will not look in a mirror at night because of this game and everyone here knows why.  As if SAW weren’t creepy enough, replaying this gives me even more of the creeps because of Rentaro’s character.  Part of me wants to like him, because he’s socially awkward and gives Nancy puzzles because he knows she likes them, but let’s break this down: he is pushing for Miwako to close her family’s business so she can move with him to the city, which she doesn’t like that much, and after he upsets her to tears, he gives her gifts to make her like him again.  I’m no expert, but that is not what a healthy relationship should look like.  Also, he tries to kill Nancy (more than once if I’m not mistaken), and his only punishment is that Miwako dumps him? Blegh, he’s a creepy guy who tries to scare you away and earn your trust.  Try as I might, I cannot like this guy as a character- though he makes for a great villain.  Rentaro- abusive boyfriend, tries to kill people, doesn’t really get punished for anything- shit, was he actually sorry at the end or was he faking it????? We may never know.

So there you have it, clue crew! Did I piss anyone off? Was I wrong? Will MID have an amazing villain that questions my tentative order of villains? Will MID ever come out? Let me know!

2

The fact that these two are voiced by the same actor never ceases to amuse me. 


Bonus


These guys are also voiced by the same person: 

Now someone give me an AU where Shredder’s trying to catch experiments and Donnie just sits around making sandwiches all day. And he offers Shredder a bologna sandwich and Shredder’s just like, “I DON’T LIKE BOLOGNA!…… too fatty.”  

Everything I Didn’t Know I Wanted (Snowbaz blurb)

“Oh my god.”

“Snow.”

“I mean… Oh my god!”

“Don’t you dare speak of this ever again, Snow, or I swear I will–”

Your full name is Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch?!”

Fuck off, Snow. I mean, your last name is literally snow. It fits though because snow falls from the sky and you fall down stairs,” that smirk turns up the corners of Baz’s lips. His perfect lips. I mean, not that I’d ever given much thought to his lips.

“Okay, but your name sounds like a really spiced up dinosaur. How ridiculous is that?” I can’t keep the laugh from escaping. It was just too ridiculous. This extremely proper perfectionist shares his first name with a dinosaur that barely has any arms. 

“Yea? Well, your last name literally has a piss joke made about it all the time.” The smirk was gone and was replaced by a frown. I knew I should feel proud to have made a Pitch feel ashamed, but I oddly didn’t. I felt…guilty.

“Aww, I’m sorry.. Did I upset you…..Tyrannus?” Okay, moment of guilt was gone. His name would never cease to amuse me.

“Shut up, Snow,” was the surprising response I got. He..wasn’t fighting back. Now that I looked at his expression, he just seemed tired. Not like the I’m-gonna-go-to-sleep-now tired. More the, I-can’t-deal-with-this-any-longer kind of tired. I guess he just didn’t to deal with me anymore. Aaand moment of guilt has returned. 

“Baz,” I say normally, all amusement gone from my voice. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

He looked about as shocked as I did from my words. I was apologizing? To Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch? 

“I’m not upset because of a bloody name, you idiot. I’m upset because, well because…”

“What? Dinosaur got your tongue?” I smirk at him, taking a step closer as if daring him to do anything to me. 

“Shut up, Snow,” he glares at me sharply.

“Make me.”

I smirk, knowing what I was doing.

He kisses me, and suddenly, I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m kissing back and it feels good and right and like everything I didn’t know I wanted.

howisalexander  asked:

For the prompts 172 adglkgshjkl

172. “You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”

It was almost midnight, yet the surrounding streets of Brooklyn Heights was still buzzing with the sounds of cars passing by and a few people laughing as they made their way home after a night out. The easy humming of the borough was something that was already very familiar for Magnus, and it was almost a relief to hear them after spending most of the day traveling to numerous demanding clients around the world. The thought of coming back home was what kept him going throughout the day, especially when he knows that his Alexander will be waiting for him when he gets back. 

Alexander, his mind drifts towards the man who has captured his whole heart almost a year ago and has taken cared of it with so much gentleness and love ever since then. He had missed his Alexander so much, more than usual, that day. He knew that his boyfriend felt the same way, and it was obvious in the text he had received earlier. He felt a warm feeling in his chest as he recalled what the message said:

I miss you so much, Magnus. I know you’re busy right now, but I hope you’re safe and the clients are treating you well. Tell me all about it later, okay? I’ll see you tonight when you get home. I love you!

Magnus couldn’t help but smile at that memory as he emerged from the portal that opened up right outside his Penthouse door. With a tired sigh, he pushed past his door and was surprised to find the loft engulfed in almost total darkness, with only a few candles illuminating the surroundings. 

Keep reading

Things that never cease to amuse me

Let’s file this one under “Never Ceases to Amuse Me.”

In the midst of a story about missing children and a thirteen-year-old boy and the demon butler he sold his soul to, there is an undercover grim reaper running around a Circus in his pj’s repeatedly trying to hit a demon in the head with a tree branch pruner.

Bonus points for his pj’s being too short for him.

Do As I Say

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 1075

Summary: It’s your week to be in charge of what you and Bucky do. You love him sooo much, but sometimes it’s fun to have him as your personal slave.

As requested by anonymous: Ooooo all those prompts look amazing ummmm ok so a challenge for you use the prompt numbers 34, 39, 53, 55, 76 & 83 for Bucky Barnes. If you can’t do all of them that’s cool but there you go lots of prompts for one man who is all man mmmmmm

Warning: mention of naked Bucky and implied smut

#34: “You work for me. You are my slave.”

#39: “It’s your turn to make dinner.”

#53: “Do you think I’m scared of a woman?”

#76: “Please put your penis away”

#83: “Enough with the sass!”


You and Bucky…well…that was a power couple right there. Too powerful. There was this power struggle in the relationship. Both of you saw yourselves as the head of the couple. But that just wouldn’t do. There were often times where you got into arguments about who was in charge. You made a compromise. Each week would be a switch off on who decided to do what. Of course, you didn’t force each other to do anything. No, you weren’t heathens. You both came to an understanding of each other. Five days of the week you or Bucky were in charge. The weekend was your break. This week was your week of power and you were making it Bucky’s own personal Hell.

Monday

You evilly rubbed your hands together as you ran and cannonballed onto your shared bed with Bucky thus catapulting him into the air and onto the ground.

He groaned as he stood up, “You know, usually, women like to wake their boyfriends up with a kiss and breakfast in bed.”

“Well tough, ‘cause it’s my week. So that means you’re getting up early to make me breakfast and coffee.”

Bucky grumbled as he picked up his discarded shirt and slipped it on, “You’re lucky I love you so much.”

“Wait!” You called out before he left the room.

“Whaaaat?” Bucky whined.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

"Are you flirting with me" with Henry Turner please :)

Originally posted by ghostcaptainsalazar

Henry stared at me in awe, mouth agape even if the corner of his lips twitched upwards.

“That was incredible, Y/N” He uttered, relaxing his dazed expression into a tender smile.

“Thank you” I smiled back, nodding with the pride of a work well done.

In silence, he offered a hand for me to take and when I did he provided me with his support so I could get down from higher ground.

Even when we were at the same ground level, Henry didn’t let go of my hand still. His grip was warm and delicate. 

“I honestly don’t know why I’m surprised” He muttered, locking eyes with me. “I do know you are incredible, but you never cease to amaze me”

“Henry Turner” I grinned in amusement, still flattered. “Are you flirting with me?” 

His cheeks acquired a soft rose tone all of a sudden, but he shook his head.

“It was merely a compliment”

“You’re blushing”

Profoundly flustered by my observation, he averted his gaze.

“We should leave now” Was all he said next, taking me with me as he began to walk. 

I smiled in response, especially because he never let go of my hand.

This time, I’ll be reviewing Switch #3 by Stjepan Sejic. Sorry for how long it’s been since my last review. But here I am!

Before I get to anything else, I’d like to draw attention to the cover (seen above).  Here, we have a wide variety of the wielders who our heroine, Mary Parker, draws from. I’ll identify them clockwise, starting with the bottom left. First, we have Una, who we’ve been introduced to before. A cavewoman, she was the first wielder of the Witchblade, unless others wielded it before it came to Earth. She’s not exactly one for words, befitting her time period, and seems to be more in line with using the Witchblade as a blunt instrument than as a tool for more complex strategems. Next we have Imani, an African woman who first shows up in this issue and seems to favor a bow. More on her below. Then, at the top, is Hilde, from the times of Norse mythology, with a hammer. The wielder in the Stetson hat with the overall Wild West appearance and the handgun as her primary weapon is unknown to me, but the closest I can think of for her would likely be Enola from the prime Top Cow continuity, from the one-shot “Witchblade: Day of the Outlaws.” Minato comes next, hailing from what appears to be an Asian country (which one I am uncertain, but most likely before the widespread use of firearms) and uses some form of sword from her country of origin. Lastly is a redheaded spear-wielder from what I assume is Medieval Europe, based upon her attire and, according to preview images on Mr. Sejic’s DeviantART page, a less-than-healthy obsession with killing dragons with it. This small sampling is likely not all of the wielders. In fact, I am certain of it, as Zala the Twilight Empress is not shown. However, the many conflicting opinions are very amusing and give a good feel for how the comic goes, mixing action with bickering in a satisfactory way.

Now then, on to the issue within. Much like the previous issue, this one does not dive directly into the fray. Instead, we look at Sara Pezzini’s love of coffee, not to mention a brief mention of her sister, Julie. In the prior continuity, Julie entered into a relationship with Jake McCarthy, Detective Pezzini’s partner, but he appears to not even know about said sister in this one, judging from how Sara has to identify her by name. Given that this comic focuses heavily on the adventures (and misadventures) of Mary, her friends, and her enemies both known and unknown, I am unsure if the relationship will come up again. Joe Siry, the captain in charge of Sara’s precinct, also appears, but it is unknown if he will have an important role either, especially considering he seems to be more angry with what has happened regarding the Irons City Grid, whereas he had a connection to Kenneth Irons in the prior continuity. On a related note, I love the use of word bubbles in this scene. While there have been dashes on the outside of said bubbles before to show anger or other high emotion in voices, the heart-shaped bubble that showed when Dectective Pezzini took a sip of her long-awaited coffee showed far more emotion than some other authors would, when they would perhaps place a tilde (~) at the end of a phrase to indicate playfulness or lengthen words, increasing their size or repeating certain letters in a word.

When we last left our heroine, she was about to face off against General Celestine of the Angelus Warriors. I have to feel bad for the guy whose car is utterly smashed (along with Mary’s rib) in the part of the fight we enter upon. Still, it was very amusing. When we come back to Una, I was very pleased to see that Mr. Sejic is taking into account that while Mary is channeling the super strength of Una, she is still a “scrawny teenager” and so cannot perform the same feats.

That’s what we have Imani for, who takes up the role of channeled power. I enjoy the look at the different sides of the different bearers. While Una is filled with primal anger and courage, Imani instead projects wisdom and determination. While Una moves with Mary, practically possessing her, Imani instead guides her as a teacher, only taking complete control when absolutely needed. Una’s unbridled ferocity worked for some situations, but not all, as there is no real attempt at defensive measures. By contrast, the first thing Imani does is show Mary how to defend against the holy fire that Celestine projects, then how to create a bow. That bow in particular was something that I greatly enjoyed. I have always been a fan of using powers in unique ways, and the way in which Mary is taught to not only disassemble the threads that make up the three arrows she simultaneously loosed, but also entangle her opponent and even banish her to the plane from which she came without needing to use anything more than vocal commands really shows more of what mystical effects the Witchblade is capable of.

This isn’t to say that Una is useless. As soon as the fight against this more powerful foe is over, she helps to guide Mary in climbing a building away from the police. All that this means is that Una is more attuned to less refined forms of defense, such as running when needed and not in direct combat.

Sonatine’s aggravation never ceases to amuse me. He seems like a man who feels as though he is completely surrounded by imbeciles who cannot accomplish anything of import. Still, he also seems rather kind, for what he can do. He is relatively nice to Tony, his charge, though harsh when he feels he has to be in order to protect him. On the other hand, I found it rather odd that Tony immediately knew Mary is the same person with whom he was once very friendly. Still, this is somewhat ameliorated by the fact that he asks for her last name. Most other fiction would completely ignore that half and assume that there is only one person per first name, even if this is not the case. In fact, this happens sometimes for people I know in my own life, where it is no less silly in my opinion.

The return to Sara and Jake at the scene of the battle had another refreshing addition. While all of the data of the fight was digitally removed from all mobile devices of the people who saw said fight, Sara is rather astute, immediately becoming suspicious of Kenneth Irons, who would have access to the data, and whose city protection grid has failed twice in recent times, both times at these “angel” sightings. Of course, this raises questions about why Irons does not manufacture more issues with his grid at other times to cover his tracks, but that can be chocked up to his apparent egotism.

Following Irons himself discussing how he is in need of adapting his plans to changing circumstances and how he may be visited by one of the Angelus’ agents, Mary finds herself in “the Crossing,” which could be deemed a kind of waiting room for the fallen of the Witchblade, where they come across one another. Here, Mary learns of the past of the Witchblade, including the Darkness and the Angelus, along with meeting with Una and Imani in person.

Imani’s description of the purpose for the Witchblade is very potent, not to mention one I enjoy as a synopsis. “A whisper of SHADOW to offer shelter from endless light – if ANGELUS was to claim victory… a SPARK of light to keep the universe anchored if DARKNESS was to prevail.”

Also interesting, not to mention hilarious, is Mary’s even more succinct description of its nature. “Light and darkness HATE each other except this one time when they LIKED each other very very much, made a BABY, and that baby is now this thing on my hand, right?” Hard to deny that’s pretty much exactly what it is, so Imani doesn’t even try.

Speaking of Zala from earlier, it is in this issue that Mary finally meets her. The double page spread that introduces her in full is absolutely gorgeous, with the sharp lines in many of the pages completely smoothed out to show off the character designs as if they were stand-alone paintings, rather than pieces of a larger comic book. Zala looks intimidating, not unlike Maleficent of Sleeping Beauty fame, and the gray eyes of Mary as she looks upon her are just as breathtaking. I do not know if Stjepan or Linda Sejic made these pages, but thank you for them, for showing just how beautiful the art of Top Cow can be.

Even with how intimidating she is, Zala is not without sources of amusement. She seems to forget that the fact that her name has been hidden from history, as she herself admits, means that a later bearer such as Mary would be extremely unlikely to have any idea who she is, to her chagrin. I am reminded of Maxwell Lord IV’s anger during the Brightest Day regarding loss of memory of Wonder Woman by the general populace. But I digress.

The talk with Zala shows me something else: apparently Mary’s ability to channel the power of other Witchblade users is unique to her. Is that her special skill set, like those of the others? If so, what was Zala’s? Magic only?

After some issues with getting Mary to accept her role as the new bearer, I was actually laughing out loud at her reasoning that led her to accept. She doesn’t care about cosmic balance, light versus dark, or any of that. She’s a teenager, and seemingly a geek besides. Why does she agree? Because she has an actual alien weapon! That’s the kind of thing many a science fiction fan would love to say, even if not to use it. That display of humanity and normality had me laughing for a large part of the day.

While I feel sorry for Mr. Stjepan Sejic’s injury that led to the delay of this issue, I wish him the best. I can’t wait until next issue!