he looks like such a little shit

  • armin: mr. ackerman, why do you look more stressed than usual?
  • levi: well, you see, i'm waiting for ms. zoë to tell me if i have to chaperone any of you little shits on some overnight trip to florida this summer
  • armin: well do you want to go?
  • levi: PFF no
  • hange: *bursts into room* LEEEEVIII I HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOUU
  • levi: oh dear god please tell me i'm not-
  • levi: god FUCKING dammit
Practice (M)

Request- I was wondering if you can do a request of you and Taehyung being dance partners and it turns into a heated dance eventually smut. THANK YOU XXX 

I am so so sorry this took so long, I really hope you enjoy it though!  

Originally posted by chimneytaels



Three months ago if you were asked what Kim Taehyung was like you would have said, arrogant fuck face. He was a little cocky and you hated him, not just because he was cocky. He was a member of your dance crew, he thought he was the shit because he could dance and he was good looking. You’ll give him that, he can dance he slays and he is hot, but does he have to be such an ass about it. 

You had put time, energy and basically giving everything you had to get were you were. You were and extremely skilled dancer, you worked your butt off. You loved everything about dancing, how it could take you to a new world, let your emotions go. 

Taehyung joined your dance group about two years ago, at frist you thought he was sweet, but not after he took getting parts in shows as a right for his good looks and his talent in dancing. 

The last straw was when he started fucking girls in the group, then ignoring them like they didn’t exist. Which really set a fire under you, because those girls all left after a while, to embraced to stay. That lead you to hating Kim Taehyung with a passion. 

But that hate was gone. 

Three months earlier~ 

You were stretching in a corner, waiting for your class to start. Taehyung was flirting with Girls from another group, which made you roll your eyes. You always wondered, did he even care to be here, was this just another ploy to get laid? You roll your eyes yet again and continue stretching. 

“Okay, is everyone here?” Your instructor walks into the class, looking rather excited, you’ve never seen him so gleeful. You walk get into a circle, surrounding your instructor. “I’ve got excited news for you all.” The class clap and cheer. 

“We’re going to be doing a group project, the winning couple get to be in Big Bangs upcoming music video.” He yells excitedly. You can’t help but cheer along with your class. “Taehyung, why don’t you pick your partner first, since you performed so well last week.” Taehyung smirks, walking into the middle of the circle, eyeing up all the girls, whom are batting their eyelashes at him. As you stare in disgust. 

“Y/N.” Your heart stopped, did he really just say your name? Well, him standing in front of you with his hand out, says yeah he did. What the fuck, you thought. Was he serious right now? 

“What? Why?” You push his hand away, girls beside you gasp and look at you like you have three heads. 

“Because, I think you’re an amazing dancer and I want a good partner to actually have a chance to be in that MV. So come one lets go.” As much as you would hate to admit, Taehyung was probably the best partner to go with. He was skilled and people always loved him. 

“Okay.” You merely whisper, taking his hand. He smiles brightly at you, pulling you down into a private studio. He closes the door behind the both of yous. 

“Y/N, I know you don’t really like me, but how about we put that a side and really try out best and win this. Think about the opportunities that this will bring.” He stares at you with hopeful eyes. 

“I agree, but if were going to do this, I have to trust that you wont be late to practice. This is serious, Taehyung.” You give him a stern look, to show him you’re serious. 

“I promise, I’ll never be late.” He smiles a boxy grin. You understand why girls for him so easily he was adorable, yet sexy. 

Over the next couple of weeks you and Taehyung worked well together. He actually really sweet and caring. He always brought you and energy drink and helped you perfect a move. He funny too. You were quickly starting to like the quirky boy. 

But frustration was getting to you. You were sweaty, it was an extremely hot day in summer. You and Taehyung had been going over your dance for hours now. Going over the same part again and again, you just couldn’t get it right. 

“Y/N, lets finish here for tonight. You should go home and rest.” Taehyung walks over to you, putting his hand on your shoulder with a a sweet smile. 

“No, one more time. I’m not leaving til we get this right!” You press play on the device, music filling the small practice room. You and Taehyung start performing the routine. It was all going perfect, until you twirled out and landed on your ankle. 

“Fuck.” You mutter, the pain shooting from your leg to much. Taehyung was by your side in a matter of seconds, pausing the music. 

“Shit, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, help me up. Lets go again.” You say attempting to stand, but Taehyung stops you. 

“Wow, wow, wow, hold up. You can’t practice on a sore ankle, it will swell and you wont be able to complete. We need to get you home.” Taehyung helped you put your shoes on and stand up. He slung your gym bag and his over his shoulder. You started walking along side him out of the building, you groaned in pain, putting all your weight on one foot. 

“Here, let me.” Taehyung put one arm at your back and the other under your knees, he picked you up bridal style. 

“Oh my god, Taehyung put me down.”You scolded him. 

“No, you’re hurt. I’m not having you walk around sore.” You put your arms around his neck, afraid he might drop you. You looked at him, he was truly so beautiful and had the cutest freckle on his nose. Shit, you thought, you were starting to like him. 

“Y/N.” Taehyung waved wildly at you, as he approached you with a coffee.” He handed you the cup and give a small hug. “How’s your ankle?” 

“Ahh, it’s fine, Thank you for the coffee.” You smiled at him as you started to walk into the studio. 

You both stretched and started to practice your routine. It was going well, until Taehyung spun you to hard making you slip, with him on top of you. You open your eyes to see Taehyung staring back at them, his hands were on either side of your head. He looked so soft. He beginning to lean down to your lips, but someone cleared their throat. 

“Is that part of the dance?” You loom up to see your instructor smirking at the both of you, you could feel your cheeks heat up. 

“No sir, sorry.” You said pushing Taehyung off you and standing up. 

“You both should go home and rest up before tomorrows competition.” Your instructor winks at you and then leaves. 

“Hes probably right. I’ll see you tomorrow, Taehyung.” You quickly gather your stuff and leave, as quick as your feet can carry you. You nearly kissed Kim Taehyung. That would be a huge mistake, you didn’t want to leave this studio, you considered these people your family.. not all, but a lot of them. 

You got ready for the competition and went to the studio, where it was taking place. You were nervous, not about the competition, but seeing Taehyung. You took a deep breath and entered, you instantly spot Taehyung leaning against the wall talking to a few of his friends. Fuck, he looked amazing. He was wearing black ripped jeans, a white over-sized t-shirt and a snap back, showing off his glories facial features. He looks at you and smiles, walking over to you bidding his friends goodbye. 

“Hey, you look great! Are you ready for this.” He pulls you into a huge that lasted a moment longer then normal. And did he just smell you? 

“Yeah, I’m ready, are you?” You ask, pulling back from his embrace. But, weirdly you wished he could hold you for longer. 

“Yeah, we’re up soon, lets do this!” He beams, grabbing your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours. You heart speeds up. He dragged you to the stage, squeezing your hand, to assure you. It was oddly comforting. 

You turn came, your instructor giving you both a thumbs up. You get into position. Taehyung give you a small smile. The music started, both you and Taehyung started to react the routine, it played out prefect, the crowd cheered, boosting your confidence. 

You finish the routine, taking a bow with Taehyung and walking off the stage. You turn to him. 

“That went prefect, oh my god.” You smile happily at him. 

“It was, you were great out there, y’know.” He shows off his beautiful boxy grin. 

“Thank you, you were too!” 

You go to watch the rest of the performances with your friends, Taehyung keeps glancing over at you. Not that you minded though. It was time to announce the winner, the couple that got to be in the music video. 

You leave your friends to find Taehyung, wanting to be with him when they announced the winner, in case it was you both. 

“I’m so happy to announce that Y/N and Taehyung have won. You both had an amazing performance. We are all so prod of you both. Anyway, foods on us, help yourselves to anything.” Your beaming happily and finally see Taehyung, your smile drops when you see him kissing a girl. He pulls back, his eyes finding yours. Shit, you smile and turn. You shouldn’t be hurt, yous weren’t together, then why did it hurt so much. 

“Y/N.” You hear your name being called, but you continue walking. “Y/N, will you just wait a minute.” You could hear Taehyung getting closer, but you just keep walking, like he wasn’t there. “Y/N, would you stop!” Taehyung grabs your arm, pulling you back. 

“What do you want?” You snap, you didn’t mean for it to come off so harsh, but it did. Taehyung looks down the hall, still holing your arm tightly, he pulls you into an empty practice room. “Taehyung, what are you doing?” You question him, with a confused look on your face. He locks the door and walks closer to you. 

“We won.” He states. 

“I know.” 

“Why did you ignore me when I was calling you.” Taehyung backs you up against the mirrored wall. Arms on either side of your head, trapping you. 

“You called me?” You ask innocently, marking Taehyung scoff. 

“Why are you playing dumb?” You don’t answer him, you just roll your eyes. 

“What do you want, Taehyung. I have stuff to do.” You state. 

“I want you.” Taehyung leans down capturing your lips with his. The kiss is soft, yet passionate. You begin to move your lips against his,  his hands placed on your waist, bringing your body flush against his. You place your hands on his chest and push him back. “What’s wrong?” He asks breathlessly. 

“I.. I don’t want to be one of your girls, that you fuck till you find new pussy to play with.” You boldly told him, Taehyung looked taken back by your statement. 

“Y/N, you really think I’m just looking for a fuck buddy with you?” You nod. “Well you’ve got it completely wrong. I’ve liked you for a while now. I think your funny, kind and hella sexy while we’re at it. But any time I tried to talk to you, you’d dismiss me. Look, I know I fucked around a bit, but who hasn’t? Just give me a chance, I asked for first pick of partners so I could pick you. Please just give me a chance, I’m not going to hurt you, I promise. And if I do you can cut my dick off.” 

You try to decipher if he was telling you the truth. You were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He had really showed you a new side to him over the last few months. 

“Okay.. but I swear to baby Jesus, if you fuck me over I will kill you.” 

“Ahh, I like my baby crazy.” He smirks, pulling you into his embrace, his hands sliding down to grope your ass. “The crazy ones are always kinky as fuck.” He whispers into your ear, kissing the side of your neck. 

“You’re such a little shit.” You pull him down to your lips, you jump wrapping your legs around his waist. You push his snap back off his head, so you can run your hands through his hair. He licks at your lips, you instantly open them allowing him to enter your mouth. His tongue playing with yours, you moan into the kiss. 

“Fuck, I’ve wanted to this like every practice we had.” He confesses. He pushes you against the wall, holding you up with his hips he takes his t-shirt off, throwing it behind him. His torso is tan and looks delicious. “Fuck, I really need you right now!” 

“Then have me.” You smile, kissing the nape of his neck and collarbones. He unzips his pants, pulling them down along with his boxers. His dick springs free, Taehyung rolls a condom down his dick, that he had in his pocket. You can feel it against your pantie covered pussy. You pull you panties to the side, letting his dick get slick with your wetness. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet.” Taehyung moans in your ear. He lines himself up with your centre, and slowly pushes in. He his thick, stretching you out nicely. 

“Tae, you’re so big.” You moan out. “Please move, now.” You pant out between kisses. Taehyung starts to fuck you against the wall. Pounding your pussy hard and fast, you clung on to his back, digging your nails into him. 

“You’re so tight, fuck you feel amazing.” Taehyung moans in your ear. It was all so arousing hearing him pant and whimper because of you. “Oh, baby are you coming?” 

“Y-yes. Fuck Taehyung,” You basically scream, he was hitting your spot prefect with every thrust, sending you to oblivion. You feel your orgasm hitting you, sending shock waves all over your body. 

“Fuck you’re so tight, fuck I’m going to cum.” Taehyung pants out breathlessly. He continues to thrust into, grunting riding out his high. He thrusts a few more times before he stops, holding you tight in his arms. He leans his forehead against yours, hes looking into your eyes with a smile on his face. 

“That was hot as fuck.” You giggle at him, placing a hand on the nape of his neck. “How about I take you for dinner and then we go for round two. I’d say your place, I share my apartment with my friend and its just not where I want our first date to end.” He pecks your lips and pulls out of you. 

“I would love that.”  

You both get dressed and leave the studio, you’re just praying no one heard yous. 

I’m so sorry this took so long. I hope you like it! Thank you all for reading!! 

Feed back is always appreciated x 

-Admin Abe x 

pls look at my super hot spn au Vlad, which is from a supernatural au i made with @lumos-pumpkin-13 because we are Big Nerds. 

Vlad is very russian and is kind of cursed. he likes vodka a lot and to be grumpy but hes actually a giant puppy and enjoys playing pranks on sam with dean. because hes also kind of a little shit. <3 (also i mike mignolia’d him up with dat cross bracelet bc ive been doing a lot of hellboy stuff lately hehe) 

anonymous asked:

kim donghyun as boyfriend!

kim donghyun as your boyfriend~

Originally posted by hitoritabi

  • nation’s boyfriend kim donghyun Yes
  • teaches you how to play the guitar (if you didn’t know how to already)
  • follows you around the house, serenading you and then laughs when you pretend to be annoyed
  • ends up staring at you a lot with this look on his face and you’re like ‘???????’
  • is fond of saying ‘i love you’
  • literally reminds you he loves you every day
  • texts you 28483712387 heart emojis
  • coffee dates!!
  • holds your face in his hands and just Looks at you before saying ‘you’re so cute’ and kissing your nose
  • leaves you voice messages of him singing
  • makes playlists of songs that remind him of you
  • likes it when you sit between his legs and lay your back against his chest
  • steals kisses
  • video calls you at night if he knows he can’t stay over because of practice
  • “hey beautiful, i miss you”
  • is a sly little shit and ‘forgets’ that you’re in the room when he changes

It’d been three months since he’d seen Clint. He looked a little thinner, maybe. Tired. Still just about broke Bucky’s heart to look at him. They walked side by side through the industrial area, grey concrete and matching metal doors. 

“Sorry for dragging you out of your way,” Clint said, breaking the silence that was easier than it had any right to be. 

“Anything for you,” Bucky said, and the flippant got a little lost in translation. 

Clint looked away, rubbed the back of his neck, awkward and uncomfortable and still so fucking familiar that it hurt. It was a relief to finally hit the right door, to fumble out his key and push inside. 

The locker was full of all sorts of shit he’d picked up over the years. It wasn’t a place to impress, didn’t have the antiques or the valuables, it was more like a junk shop. Bits and pieces that’d caught his eye over the years, that he wanted to keep safe, that he wanted to keep. Near the door was a cardboard box, carefully taped closed and labelled ‘Clint’.

“You don’t even wonder why I need this kinda stash?” Bucky’s voice was a little harsh, a challenge that came from the part that felt scrubbed raw, peeled back, felt Clint’s mere presence like sandpaper against his nerves. 

Clint rubbed a hand across his face, letting out a long breath once he was done. 

“Buck,” he said. “I know who youare.” He shrugged, jerked his head in an awkward movement. “Avenger.” 

Bucky barked out a laugh. “And you came anyway?”

Clint shrugged. “I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. Trust was never the problem.” 

That was - too much. Bucky turned away, poked at a rug that he didn’t remember buying, much less stashing in here. The movement unbalanced it, tilted it towards the floor, where it hit with an unnaturally heavy thump. From the look on his face, Bucky could tell Clint knew what that meant, had identified the dark stains, knew exactly what was in there. 

The words all stumbled over each other in their rush to get out first. I’m sorry and I didn’t - and I swear, Clint, this wasn’t me. 

“Fuck,” Clint said, before any of them could make their way out. “Who’ve you pissed off lately?” 

Bucky blinked. “What?”

Clint gestured to the dead guy on the floor, remarkably casually considering. 

“Well someone’s tryin’ to stitch you up, right?”

“Fuck, Clint,” Bucky breathed, and it was fucking appalling etiquette, it was probably the biggest mistake he’d ever make, but he couldn’t help but step forward anyway, couldn’t help but push into a kiss.  

I saw a thing and while I was going to make this HH I thought it suited a pre-serum Steve and a WS bucky a bit better.

So here’s the thing, Bucky really isn’t sure if Steve knows just how filthy the top of his fridge is. No seriously, it’s bad. The fridge itself is white all over except for the top. Which is… an amazingly disgusting mixture of grey/brown/… green? Bucky is pretty sure that there really isn’t a colour gross enough to properly describe what he’s seeing. It wouldn’t be so bad if it looked like it kept getting worse every time he was over - which is getting to be quite often if he’s being honest - and if he didn’t have to look at it everytime he went to grab beers for them (which is all the fucking time because Steve is such lazy little shit whenever he can get away with it). But he knows that if he says anything Steve will… well he’s not sure what Steve will do exactly but he knows it won’t be pretty. So just before he leaves (yes he knows how fucking cowardly it is but come on! He knows when it’s better to run) he writes out a quick note and sticks on the fridge.

The top of the fridge is really gross. Just saying.

When Steve says nothing for a couple of days, Bucky assumes that everything is okay and takes him up on the offer to back over that weekend. Except when he goes to grab the beer’s before the game starts he sees that the top of the fridge is still disgusting and that the note is still on the fridge. Only… when he looks a little closer, he sees that it’s not his writing on the note.

Cleaning stuff is under the sink. Do it yourself you fucking giant.

So I just realized how Odyssey starts.

So remember during the Switch Presentation when it was first announced we saw Bowser step on Mario’s hat?

So I was watching the Mario trailer today for E3 and noticed something when they were in the “intro” level I can assume.

That looks like the gates to a cemetery right? Like a little bit, because it’s all dark, dreary, and spooky. THEN I REALIZED WHAT CAPPY’S NORMAL FORM LOOKS LIKE.




anonymous asked:

Boyfriend! Guanlin please!

lai guanlin as your boyfriend~

Originally posted by thedovesriot

  • oh boy here we go my wanna one bias
  • he’s an awkward little bean but he’s also very sneaky
  • like he’s the type to call your name when you aren’t looking and right when you turn your head his lips are Right There and you end up kissing
  • guanlin tends to get jealous at times but he tries to hide it
  • but you see right through him
  • he just needs a little reassurance every once in a while
  • does the weirdest shit to make you laugh
  • “i’m replacing dongho-hyung as the new sexy bandit”
  • holds things over your head and demands that you kiss him first before he gives it to you
  • a sangnamja at such a young age dear lord help my noona heart
  • offers to pay for everything and even carries your bag for you
  • the type to give really long, slow kisses (mainly because he’s unsure of what to do and he’s still figuring out the right angles)
  • he gets so happy and giggly when the two of you are out on dates
  • seonho, of course, third wheels and begs to be fed
  • falls asleep on your shoulder or your lap a lot
  • he’s basically a sleepy little chick that’s in love with you
  • treasure this boy because he’ll treasure you ;;;;;;

What EA, company that is completely disconnected with its main demographic, people that play video games, believes ‘gamer’ talk is like: “Could use the EXP, heh.”

What people on comms while playing video games actually are like: “…and that’s when he started telling me to get the manager, and he was being a colossal dick throughout this whole thing. A thing he didn’t know, though, is that the cashier next to my station was my manager, and he was just intently looking at us, witnessing every single rude comment this little shit threw at me for not giving him my num– piece of shit, I got a legendary but it’s a repeat –my number, and when he called for my manager, I just saw this shine in his eyes, like it was his time to rip open his asshole, he was WAITING for this. Anyways, I am getting my shit pushed in, heal me please.” 

chaotic--cosmos  asked:

Please talk about the mummy returns

pristinepastel said: Hey, i know you like the first mummy, but what about the mummy returns?

I HAVE RETURNED…after like a day. 

but what the people want, the people get!


aka the only sequel that is 1000% just as good as the first one. like holy shit. 

ten years later and we meet our heroes again. rick and evie are happily married, going on adventures, and evie’s dream of becoming a respected scholar has come true and they’ve made a tiny human! 

the only unrealistic part being that they only had one kid, i mean they are still all over each other ten years later and you’re telling me they only had ONE kid.

okay. sure jan. 

but boy o’ boy is that one kid awesome! 

alex o’connell. this kid is literally:

  • 50% evie super-klutz-genius. 
  • 50% rick screams-at-things-that-are-illogical-to-scream-at. 
  • 50% uncle jonathan’s sheer dumb luck and wit. 
  • 10% i’m really bad at math. 

you get the point. HE’S GREAT. also the actor passed on harry potter because, JUST LIKE ME, the mummy 1999 was his favorite movie and he just HAD to be in the sequel. alex is just such a smart-ass little shit. that much like his mother, accidentally brings about the apocalypse by opening something he shouldn’t have:

Originally posted by rafikecoyote

ARDETH BAY TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. he has a much bigger role in this one. GOD BLESS. (because he was supposed to die in the first one, but test audiences loved him as much as we do, so they kept his fine ass around) he still looks prettier than everyone and is still so done with white people once again. 

*after almost being killed on he bus* “this was my first bus ride.”
*after realizing they’re gonna make him fly again* “why can’t you people ever keep your feet on the ground?”

he’s just such an awesome A+ friend goals, because while he probably needs to go be with other medjai to prepare for battle against anubis’ army (yikes), he stays with the fam to rescue alex. it wasn’t even much of a thought for him really, rick and evie just batted their eyelashes and he was like: *sighs* “these white people are always messing my shit up, but they are my white people.”

Originally posted by lestatscherie

jonathan: still beautifully the same as ever. witty, clever, and would do anything for his family. 

“be quiet alex! if there’s going to be any hysterics, they’ll come from me!”

“if you see anyone come running out screaming, it’s just me.”

when he boasts about being a good shot and ardeth is internally like “i’m gonna die.” THEN HE SAVES ARDETH. hell yeah.

Originally posted by aurhireactions

rick: he’s still screaming at things. BUT IN DAD MODE. he’s the ultimate dad.

“you, lighten up. you, big trouble. you, get in the car.”
*sweetly* “honey, what are you doing, these guys don’t use doors.”
“knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you’re about to do to him, but this is my house and i have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.”

Originally posted by lmhotep

evie: still a super-klutz nerd, but with C O N F I D E N C E. little baby librarian is now a honey badger of ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK! and also a re-incarnated princess

“no harm ever came from opening a chest.”

rick: “i swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.”
evelyn: “you mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?”

Originally posted by a-ripley

we meet izzy, another one of rick’s ex boyfriends, who is a much more reliable mode of transportation than previously mentioned murder buses. 

imhotep: still emo. still wants to make out with his gf.

anck su namun/meela: hella good villain. she bomb af and 100% wants to take over the world. amazing. she actually has like a really cool role this time too!!! like so much screen time. 

Originally posted by marimoody

the rock…i mean the scorpion king, he’s another emo villain with goofy cgi rendering and like 4 million terrible made-for-TV spin off movies that you are lying if you haven’t watched at least one of them and felt that utter disappointment. but who cares the rock is pretty. and this was his first acting role and the reason we have him where he is today. 

thank you mummy returns for giving the world actor rock johnson #blessed

Originally posted by charmander-ann


normal action movie sequel romance: same guy. different girl. repeat of first movie’s romance. hehehehhehehehhEHEHEHEHHEHH. 

not here bitch. 

rick and evie’s love has only grown stronger. they still bicker like old ladies at bingo night. the still look at each other like they hung the moon. they’re still disgusting jonathan because they CANNOT KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES. one kid my ass. they still support each other and protect each other like crazy. they love each other so much and it’s so healthy and pure and there is some good in this world mr. frodo.

Originally posted by yocalio

the bottom line here is. what’s the point of watching the mummy 1999 if you aren’t going to watch the mummy returns immediately after?


Originally posted by mummymovies





Tbh I don’t think Mabel would be such a problem when it comes to bath time, Dipper on the other hand…

Finding Shiro in S3 be like
  • Keith: [searching through a crowd] We're never going to find him.
  • Lance: Hang on. [cups hands around mouth, shouts] KEITH ISN'T FIT TO LEAD VOLTRON!
  • Shiro: [barrels through the crowd] WhAT tHE FUCK dID yOu jUsT SAy, YOU LITTLE SHIT
  • Lance: Found him.