As a young black girl, I always got made fun of and ridiculed by other black women and men for my attraction to men outside of my race, specifically Asian men. I was always told, “ no man besides your own race is going to find you attractive, you’re dark skinned so you stay with people like you”. Hearing this coming from my own race hurts so bad, it made me feel hopeless. The only people who believed in me were my close friends and my immediate family ( aka my mom, dad , sister, etc.). For the longest time, I believed this, until recently turning 20 I realized it’s complete BULLSHIT.
As I got older, I started to love my dark skin, and started to appreciate myself for the queen I am. This led me to taking better care of myself and finally being able to show off my true worth, because for the longest time, I saw no purpose in dressing how I desired because of all the negativity that was thrown at me. Once I did this , let me be the first to tell you that I received a lot of positive attention for men, especially from other races.
I started using different foreign apps to make new friends, and I was SHOOK to see how many Korean men wanted to get to know me, and girlllll they were fineeeeeeee omg, they ranged from snack to full course meal! I never had so many men tell me I was so beautiful, I even had a few ask me to be their girlfriend haha. Not only did I get more attention through these apps, but I also got more irl.
In my area for the longest time, we’ve never had a high population of Asian residency, but recently over time, it’s increased a lot. The amount of Korean and Chinese people really boosted up this year. I recently went to a market to go shopping with my friends, and get something to eat, because they also have a Korean restaurant in the front. When we sat down to get our food, this FINEASF.COM Korean man was sitting at a table across from us. When I tell you he looked just like Jay Park, I mean it omg, and he was about 6'2’’ ( which is good to me because I’m 5'10’’ haha ). Every time I looked up, he was staring HARD at me, he even had the nerve to give me a sexy ass smirk. GIRLLLL I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY SOUP.
With all this being said, to all my queens out there, DO NOT listen to anyone who tells you no one outside your race will love you. You have worth, you’re beautiful, and any man would kill to be with someone like you, and as you can see from me, it’s 100% true. As long as you love yourself, you’ll be fine <3
Pictures/Artwork/Gifs are not mine. Credit goes to the original owner.
“Ok, now Tia what do you have to do when we go inside to the party?” You asked your daughter who was practically bouncing in her car seat with excitement. She was straining against the straps and smiling from ear to ear. She’d been talking about her little friend’s party all week and the day had finally come.
She’d dragged you through the stores yesterday trying to find the perfect present for her little friend and you couldn’t help but smile at her yesterday and it eased your mind to think that she was settling into her new life nicely. The two of you moved to Korea two years prior when your investment firm decided to open a new location. You couldn’t pass up the opportunity that included a promotion and a clean break from your ex. You were concerned about shaking up her environment so drastically but she’d taken everything in stride.
“Tia…Ti…TIA.” You’d said her name sternly to draw her attention to you. Once she’d stopped wiggling around you repeated the question.
“We have to listen. Play nice. Make sure that we share and be polite.” She listed everything off using her index finger for each item in her best attempt to mimic you.
“Good job, big girl. All right let’s get out.” You unbuckled her and grabbed the gift. As soon as you’d set her down she took off towards the house but stopped short and admired the motorcycle parked a couple of cars in front of yours.
“Woooooow” she said reaching out to touch the bike. “Mommy, look it’s just like Uncle J.R.’s!” She called to you over her shoulder. “I see baby but please don’t touch. It’s not ours, ok.”
She nodded her head and continued to look at the motorcycle in awe.
“Tia!!” You heard a small voice call and saw an adorable little boy come bounding out the front door towards your little girl. The two practically crashed into each other and there was a fit of laughter coming from the two. Tia started talking about the motorcycle.
“That’s my uncle’s.” The little boy said proudly. You stood back watching gift in hand. The little boy freely touched the bike and Tia looked over her shoulder begging you with her eyes to touch the motorcycle too. You were about to tell her no. When you felt someone standing next to you. “She’s good.” You heard a deep voice say from the same side.
You turned towards the voice and were pleasantly surprised at what you saw. It wasn’t the first time you’d seen him but it was hard to ignore six feet plus of hard muscle and more ink than you could count. The look might intimidate some but it was the look that got you Tia in the first place. He stood there one leg cocked to the side, one hand in his pocket. You still got amazed at what a plain white tee could do for the male physique. Your ogling was cut short by none other than little miss Tia herself. “Mom, Look! He has the drawings like Jay Park!” She exclaimed while pointing at his tattoos. She then turned to the birthday boy and whispered as well as a four-year-old could. “My mom says he’s fione.” Again, the last word was repeated in an imitation of you. The two of them giggled together over the secret while you stood there with the Gucci Mane meme face. There was a sharp bark of laughter from the mystery man standing next you. Not for the first time in your life were you thankful for being a dark shade of brown as you felt your face and neck heat up.
“Mommy, can I sit on this?” Tia called from over your shoulder patting the seat of the bike in front of her. “Actually baby, why don’t we go inside. I’m sure the other kids are looking for the birthday boy.” You took her little hand in yours and headed for the door.
“Maybe, you and your Mommy can come back and look at it after the party.” The man suggested. You stopped for a moment and shot him an assessing glance. There something in that tone that carried a little more than a friendly invitation for your little girl. You’d file that away for further thought. Right now, you needed to focus on getting Tia through the party.
The party had been going on for a good hour at this point. The backyard was crawling with kids. All of which were happily occupied with either a bounce house, bubble station or giant building blocks. He’d been there at each little station helping keep the party moving and finding little reasons to talk to you. Did you want a glass of water? Did Tia have a turn in the bounce house? Did Tia get her set of bubbles? Questions that made sense weren’t out of the ordinary to ask. There was that same undertone of a deeper invitation from earlier. Of course, you were hanging around some of the other parents and doing your best to help wrangle the little ones. You casually asked who casually asked who the man in the white tee was. He’d been the afternoon eye candy for you and some of the other moms. Sometimes those gossiping broads had their use. You found out that the man you’d seen around the school a couple of times was the birthday boy’s uncle.
The party was wrapping up. The cake had been cut and gifts had been opened. Tia had done an amazing job of listening and was currently making her was over to you after getting her party favor. She placed her little hand in yours again and was pulling you towards the door. “Mom, c’mon. Remember he said I could sit on the motorcycle after that party.” You were reluctantly following her out. “Baby, I think he was just being nice. Why don’t we just head home. It’s getting a little late.” You knew that would immediately be met with a pout if not a full out whining session. Truth was you were kind of nervous. You weren’t sure if what you read in that tone earlier was real. You’d been out of the dating since things ended with Tia’s father and understandably you were rusty.
It seemed like luck was on Tia’s side today, though. There was a rush of black hair then your daughters tug on your hand was aided by the pull of another four-year-old. “Tia hurry. My uncle’s waiting for us.” You sighed resigned to accept your fate. You followed the two out the door. There he was sitting on the bike looking kinda pissed off. He was slouching slightly one hand resting on the handlebar, the other holding a cigarette to his mouth. His demeanor changed completely when he saw his nephew running towards him. He smiled, damn near cheesing really and stomped the cigarette out. He threw his arms open and the little boy barreled into him like the two hadn’t spent most of the day together. You were kind of jealous. That was something you missed little miss Tia doing to you. She’d let go of your hand at this point and was doing an odd skipping/galloping motion over to the other pair.
The man stood up and sat the little boy on the seat and hefted Tia next to him. You came over and helped keep an eye on them. The two playing happily making motorcycle noises and pretending to rev the engine. “Thank you by the way.” You said still smiling and looking at your little love. “My brother has a few bikes back home. She plays around in the garage while he fixes them up.” You knew it might have been an over share but you did appreciate it.
“Do you ride?” He asked as a way of responding. “Not well.” You laughed recalling how slowly you drove your brother’s bike each time you took it out. He smiled more like a smirk. You liked the look and put one on your own face. “You should come by and I’ll show you how.” There it was again. That innocent invitation laced with something more. “I don’t even know your name.” You said with a bit of a laugh. “Could keep it that way.” He shot back. “Nah, bruh.” You immediately shook your head and laughed again. The two of you officially introduced each other. “About that ride?” He asked You two stood there sizing each other up. Him wondering if he’d come on strong enough and you wondering if you were ready to jump back into the dating world.
Neither of you noticed that the noises that had been coming at a steady in front of you had all but stopped. There was a tap on your daughter’s shoulder. “Why are they looking at each other like that?” He was clearly confused and your daughters on little face was bunched up in a frown. She shrugged. “Maybe she likes his muscles? She likes those.” She answered in a whisper. “Mom, do you like his muscles like you like Lee Soohyuk’s?” She asked loudly effectively shattering your little standoff. You simply closed your eyes and took a deep breath shaking your head. ‘If she was any older…’ You thought to yourself letting the threat remain in your mind.