Some Things Kent Has Said to the Rookies While Sober: (See Drunk
1. (About his blind date) “He’s a nice guy, but he kissed me and then he left me at the door? What the fuck?” (“Maybe he wants to take it slow?”) “I’m not the fucking Pope, James. I’m horny now.” (“The Pope doesn’t—”) “Maybe I need to flash my ankles some more. I’ll wear booty shorts for the next one.”
2. “I hope everyone here knows that if a—” (shouting) “—hot, tall, single dad in this establishment would like to buy me a drink and take me home tonight, I would literally leave all my friends in a heartbeat—” (turning back to rookies) “—Sorry. I see you guys like everyday.”
3. (On why he isn’t speaking to Jeff) “Jeff convinced me to watched ‘Me Before You’ yesterday. He promised me nobody dies. I cried the entire time when I was trying to order takeout afterwards. And then I cried on the toilet. I’m so fucking pissed. I can’t even look at him right now.”
4. “Dom and I are going to sing ‘I Have Nothing’ for the AcesTV special. I practiced every single fucking night in the shower this past week, and my neighbors filed two complaints against me, so just letting you know to like, get ready to eat my entire ass.”
5. “My favorite things? Kit dressed up in one of those cute bowties they make for cats on Etsy. Mashkov’s ass in nice jeans. Extra guac in my burrito. Finding the love of my life and then realizing that they’re actually a prince or Batman. And winning the Cup every year. I don’t ask for a lot. It’s not a lot.”
+1. “The lighting in the locker room is amazing, what the hell, did they change the bulbs? It makes my abs look fantastic. Someone help me sext my husband, he’s gonna want to see this.” (Smacks rookie’s arm.) “No, not like that. Take the photo from the top-down, do you not know your angles? God.”
Did you see those pictures and videos of Misha in the cute little beige suit and bowtie? They were so cute! Misha looked like a cute little teacher. Do you have any Cas-as-a-cute-teacher headcanons that you like?