he look damn fine as an elf

Hearing The Call to Adventure when you’re over 40.

There’s a seriously delightful conversation in one of the LARP fb groups about adventuring over 40. Many of us aren’t 20 anymore, and it seems silly to have our characters not be our own age (or close to it). But they’re still starting characters (as it’s a new campaign), which implies they chose this path recently.

That thread is mostly joking around, but I kind of love the idea of hearing The Call when you’re not a teenager, and starting your in-game adventuring life later as some kind of mid-life crisis, religious epiphany, empty nest reaction, etc.

Which got me to some ficlets, and here’s the result.

“Well, your mother always wanted to be an adventurer - she was a hell of an archer when we were your age - but we got pregnant, and your grandmother needed some help, so we put that life off for a while. But now that you’re off at university, it seems like a good time to pick up the bow again, and go fight evil." 

“There was just something missing, y'know? I mean, I liked being a toymaker, but one day I realized - I really wanted to put on some plate mail, and go fight demons. So here I am, livin’ the dream." 

— 

“Sometimes, relationships don’t work out. She got the business, I get to start the life of adventure I’ve always wanted. Did you know I minored in alchemy? It’s good to get back into it again.”

“Your Aunt Maribel and I had always talked about doing this, when we were girls, but it just never seemed like the right time. But now that Uncle Haro has passed…Mari just wants to get out there and do it. I can’t let her go alone, can I? Someone has to watch her flank on the line, and remind her to keep her shield up.“

"What can I say? Sometimes you fall in love with a mage. When you do, you grab your hammer and you go where he goes. Someone has to keep cute Dukes from flirting with him. Back off, gentry! He’s all mine.”

“Kevin, you’re being ridiculous. I’m not going to fall in love with some Duke.”

“Whatever. I’m not taking any chances. It took me this long to find you, and I’m not letting you go without me.”

“I’m your Dad. If you’re going to go and fight evil, I’m going with you, ‘cause I support your choices.”

“Er…Mom’s heading off to check out some evil gate she heard about. Someone needs to go with her, ok? I squired for her last time, but I just can’t right now. It’s your turn. Make sure she does her exercises, ok? Her back is going to be horrid if she doesn’t.“

"Fine. I’ll handle the evil gate with Mom. But the next time she heads into the swamps to fight some lizard thing, you’re doing it. I freaking hate swamps.”

“His husband left him for an elf. He’s got some anger issues that he’s working through, ok? Better that he work through it on some bad guys.”

“What was that?”
“Undead again.”
“Oh, for the love of..look. They’re a freaking plague, and it’s getting worse. If we don’t want to keep dealing with this, we’re just going to have to go to the source.”
“But….the carrots…!”
“Hang the damned carrots. I’ll hire that nice boy down the street to take care of our field while we’re gone. Clean yourself up and grab your holy symbol. We’re not putting up with this for one more week.”

“Well, I always wanted to see the world. I got a small inheritance recently, and thought, why the heck not? No time like the present, right?”

“If that Sorcerer thinks he can just waltz in here and take over this town, he’s got another think coming!”
“Doris, calm down. We’ll write to the King, and…”
“I WILL NOT CALM DOWN. Sally, I swear, you drive me nuts sometimes.”
“I’m just saying - there’s diplomatic solutions to this.”
“The hell with diplomatic solutions! I WILL END HIM. ”
“Fiiiiiine. Do it your way. End him with fire.”
“Thank you!” *smooches* “Love you. Back when I’m back. He has NO IDEA who is coming for him.”

“What can I say? Adventuring pays the bills. I have a family to support, and turnip farming doesn’t make money like it used to.”

“Hey Phineas - for guys’ night, I have a thought. Rather than just going down to the pub like we usually do…I found a gate. No idea where it leads. Let’s go check it out. Could be fun, right?”
“A gate?”
“Yeah!”
“This is a terrible idea. I’m in.”

“Um….well, this is awkward. You know that Goddess who spoke to me last spring?”
“Oh yeah! Your whole conversion thing. Nice to see you found faith. It’s been good for you, I think.”
“Well, she has something she wants me to take care of.”
“What, like…a message delivered or something?”
“Noooooooo?”
“Seriously? You’re a florist. What does she want you to do?”
“Well, now when I sing, things blow up. That’s good, right?”
“This can’t end well.”

“We left for THREE WEEKS, and Barbarians razed our village. I swear, do I have to do everything myself? I JUST RE-DID THE ROOF, YOU JERKS.”

“He doesn’t think our family is good enough for him? I’ll show him who is good enough for him! My little girl is going to live in a castle, even if I have to conquer it myself!”
“I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way.”
“We’ll see what he has to say when I walk into Summertide with a demon’s head on a spike! Who’s good enough now, you two-bit merchant?!?”

“Your Aunt recently found out that Throgg the Destroyer is that brat she couldn’t stand at the Academy. She’s not taking it well, so we’re going to be off on a trip for a while…”

“So….funny story. You know that favor I owe the Countess? From like 20 years ago? She finally called it in. She remembered that I’m really good with Ancient Runes, and apparently there’s something she needs checked out.”

“I thought you said this adventuring thing was just a hobby, Brianna. Something we did on the weekends.”
“Well, but…y'know…I really like it. I think I could be good at it. I’m getting better with the spear, you know?”
“I don’t even know you anymore!”
“Can’t you just be supportive?”
“Well, but where does it end? First hobgoblins, now orcs…what’s next?”
“I heard about this cursed tomb…”
“Absolutely not. I draw the line at tombs. NO TOMBS.”

“I told you not to date that vampire. Didn’t I tell you? I told you!”
“Let me live, Sergio.”
“Let me unlive, you mean.”
“Ok, that’s just rude.”

“Oh, sure - one good healing spell, and you think you can conquer the world.”
“I can! I have the knees of a teenager again!”

“Grandpa, you’re embarrassing me.”
“What, I can’t visit my grandson while he’s adventuring?”
“Well, I love having you here, and everyone knows you’re a good healer, but…”
“I’ll be fine. I like it here. I think I’ll stay.”

“C'mon, let’s do it. We’ve always wanted to.”
“But…we don’t know what we’re doing.”
“We do! We’ve each read The Book, what….15 times? I know you basically have it committed to memory.”
“I don’t think 'To Catch a Rogue Lord’ was really meant as an instruction manual.”
“C'mon…how hard can it be? You’ve seen the adventurers who come through here.”
“Excellent point. I’ll get my herbs.”

“Honey? There’s a kid at the door. He says you’re the Chosen One.”
“Arrrrgh. We talked about this! Come back later!”
“He says the stars are aligned?”
“Not doing it! Tell him to go away.”
“Oh, and the seal broke. The seal broke, Stephen. It sounds important.”
“But…”
“I’ll pack you a lunch.”

“Call Sharon. She and her stupid birthmark are coming with me.”
“I thought you said that translation of the prophecy was incorrect? Something about a miss-translation of verb.”
“…well, at least if we fail, I won’t have to listen to Karl talking at Guild Meetings about how he was right.”

A little thing I wrote about my Warden, Lenan Tabris & Zevran. You can find it on AO3


Zevran couldn’t tear his eyes from her, and it was beginning to become a problem.

This woman, this fucking woman. She should be dead by his hand, and yet here he stood, gazing like a lovesick teenager. He continued to poorly pretend to sharpen his blades, his fingers dangerously close to being sliced off with the glide of the whetstone due to his lack of concentration.

Lenan sat on the filthy ground, leaning back against the log placed in front of the fire. Her pink tongue darted out to poke at the fresh cut on her bottom lip. She’d glared at him when he’d offered to stitch it up for her, “I like scars,” She’d said.

This infuriating, stubborn woman held something inside him; a flame igniting deep in his chest whenever her angry grey eyes met his golden brown.

He watched her rifle through her pack, as she did every night; a ritual. She rubbed the blood-stained slip of white lace between her fingers, staring off into the distance. The way she looked at it…

He longed to ask her about it, about what meaning such an item held, but the damn woman knocked the breath from his lungs with simply a look.

He was an assassin, for fucks sake. A damn fine one, probably even the best, but this skinny elf turned him to rubble. 

Lenan grunted and shoved the piece of lace back into the pack and threw it across the campsite. She ran her fingers through unkempt blonde hair, hissing as she grazed another cut that had dried and crusted above her eyebrow. She poked at the gash with her fingertip, wincing in pain, yet repeating the action anyway.

With a roll of her eyes she clasped her hands behind her head and slid until she was laid flat on her back in the dust and dirt.

Zevran took a deep breath, summoning the courage to initiate a conversation as he quietly approached her.

“I’m sure there are more satisfactory places for you to sleep, my lady?”

She didn’t flinch, her eyes blankly staring up at the stars.

He cleared his throat and gracefully led beside her, cheekily mimicking her pose with a wiggle of his hips as he settled to the ground.

“Finished staring at me, then?”

Zevran smiled, the sound of her husky voice causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand to attention. He gazed up at the stars, it was a wonderful, clear night.

“You are a beautiful woman,” he purred, impressed at how steady his voice sounded. “Its hard not to stare.”

“Are you sure you’re not just plotting to kill me again?” She queried, voice monotone and uncaring.

Zevran propped himself up on his elbow to get a better look at her. “I pledged my life to you, Warden. If you wish to end it, I would not blame you. ” He steeled his gaze, daring her to look at him.

Had he not proved himself? He’d fought at her side for almost half a year now. His devotion never wavered, he was a man of his word. Creators, he’d wished she’d killed him back then. But now, now he had something to live for.

Her nose twitched, a delicious, crooked smirk forming on her plump lips. She sat up, crossing her legs and rested her chin atop clasped hands. Those wicked eyes glistened; mischief was afoot. 

“I see.” She paused, pursing her lips.“You better watch your back then, lest you find a dagger in it.”

Then, she giggled. She fucking giggled.

Zevran had never had the pleasure of hearing her make this joyful noise, a noise so pure he couldn’t help but to burst into laughter himself.

She smirked again, staring him down as if she were ready to pounce. “You know, you’re quite nice to look at yourself, crow.”

Shit.

6

How is it I had no idea (until this weekend) that Legolas’ daddy was this fine?! Ok so when the Hobbit movies came out I really never plan to see them. To me they looked like lame versions of LOTR, which I loved. Didn’t want something that was just going to ruin that. So this weekend a friend forced me gently to watch them, also bribing me with alcohol didn’t hurt anything either. 

But I then I seen Thranduil…I’m all will fuck he’s gorgeous!! I’ve always had thing about Tolkien elves *sigh*. He made those movies for me. Would rather watch LOTR anything time, but I’ll the Hobbit movies will always be about Thranduil to me. I’m mad that they tried to make Orlando Bloom look younger or whatever as Leggie and failed so badly!! They should of just not messed with him with cgi!!

Until the End

Imagine being at the center of a Fili and Kili sandwich

Fandom: The Hobbit

Based on:This imagine

Word Content: 782

Notes: I wrote this piece in… Five different days. I began on my phone while waiting for my appointment and the doctor and finished today. Yey! Well, it did not ended up being what I initially wanted, so this one will be written again. Less friend/family feelings and more smut. Fingers crossed! 

Keep reading

Royal trouble - (Thranduil x reader)

Chapter 8

You immediately rush out of the doors, the heat growing in your cheeks at the embarrassment of being seen with the King by his son. Although you know you shouldn’t hang around, you can’t help but put your ear to the door and listen in to their conversation.

“Why are you being like this? If you’re not storming about the place or rushing off in the middle of important meetings, you lock yourself away and refuse to speak with anyone!”

Thranduil remains seated in his throne, whilst his son paces around the floor.

“I do not have to explain myself to you, Legolas.”

“Perhaps not, but what about the others? What about your people? Do you not care-“

“Have you come to lecture your father, whom may I remind you is King, about the welfare of his people, those he has protected all these years?”

Legolas lowers his eyes, knowing he speaks the truth.

“I merely wanted to tell you what they are thinking. Those who attended the conference went home believing that you, ah…weren’t exactly yourself. If they don’t think we are serious about the safety of this realm they will not help us. They also say it’s to do with a woman…more specifically, Ariella.”

The King freezes upon hearing you name, and you lean further in, desperately trying to hear his response.

“She is none of your business. She is a guest here and will remain so, until I say otherwise.”

“Yes, but Father, you have to admit how erratic your moods have been since she has arrived. Ariella is my friend and even though I have not known her long, I do not wish for her to get caught up in your… affairs. If it’s true, if you do like her-“

“ENOUGH!”

Thranduil refuses to take any more of his nonsensical babblings.

“…I do not like her…”

Your heart sinks. Stepping away from the door, you feel sick. It seems that Tarron was right after all. He had lied; you were his plaything. Your eyes begin to fill up with tears as the hurt and shame surfaces. You want to run. And that’s exactly what you do.

Upon reaching your chambers Elora is making your bed. As you stand there watching her, you realise just how much you miss everyone, your family, the village. You feel homesick. Making a split decision, you slowly back out of the room, hoping she hasn’t heard you enter. Rushing back down the halls, you see a group of elven maids, giggling to themselves, their eyes look you up and down in disgust. You’re so angry at Thranduil, you feel like crying.

As you near the huge doors that lead out to the forest, you check for guards. You hide behind a wooden pillar as you spot two of them either side of the door. Stuck for ideas, you take off your cream footwear and throw them in the opposite direction. They make a clapping sound as they hit the floor and the guards’ attention is immediately diverted. Seizing your chance, you head for the door. Heaving them open you feel weak and drained of all your strength. But you’re out, away from the dirty looks and humiliation caused by Thranduil and more importantly, you’re free.

Yet, unbeknown to you, the King’s conversation with his son had continued…

“…I am completely and utterly in love with her.”

Thranduil’s shock revelation causes Legolas’ mouth to hang wide open.

“B…But-you..I”

“I understand that this may come as a surprise to you as I haven’t known her for that long, but I cannot deny my feelings for Ariella. She has stirred something within me that I thought was long dead and perhaps I have been not quite myself, but I only hope that now you will understand why.”

Legolas contemplates his father’s words and forms a smile.

“I am happy for you, ada. Truly…”

“Why is it that I am sensing a ‘but’? My son, if there is something you wish to sa-”

“It’s nothing. Ariella and I have become friends…I just worry that this may put her in further danger, as now she is not just a human in these lands, she’s your human.”

Thranduil acknowledges that elves are protective, and like him, they do not take kindly to strangers. The female elves are particularly defensive over him and can become violently jealous by the mere mention of your name, but the King waves off these thoughts.

“Your concern is appreciated Legolas, but from now on, she remains in my chambers and attends all meetings with me. At no time should she be unsupervised, I will make sure that no more harm comes to her.”

__________________________________________________________

­­­­­­

Before interrupting you and the King, Legolas and Tauriel had managed to free Tarron, only noticing your absence when in the dungeons.

Tauriel had taken him back to her chambers, and ordered him to stay put, under no instructions was he to leave. But to this, he did protest.

“Tauriel come on, I need to see if she’s ok.”

“No! If you get caught, it’s not just you that gets punished!”

He huffs.

“Look, I’ll stay here with you for a bit, Legolas had to talk to his father-“

“Fine. But I can’t stay in here forever, what about when he finds out I’m not in the dungeons anymore!?”

“Well….ah, we haven’t really thought that far…but I’m sure Legolas can persuade the King to see-”

“Great. This is fantastic. We have no plan here and unless he is a skilled emotional manipulator, I doubt that the blond princess will be able to convince his unstable, idiot of a father. Damn it, I can’t stand that elf!”

“….Ok, wow….erm, what actually happened between you two? I mean, why did he imprison you anyway?”

“Because he’s a fool, why else?”

“Tarron! The King may not be the wisest, but he has kept us safe and provided for us all these years. I’m sure that the decisions he makes are for the best.”

“Oh please, do you actually believe that? Tell me then, why did he allow for Ariella to fall victim to a savage beast of an elf? Why was I punished for speaking the truth and sticking up for my best friend? Yeah, sounds like some pretty wonderful decisions he’s made.”

“Let’s just talk about something else…what about your home? I was going to ask you about it at the Ball, but it didn’t seem like a good time. I know you’re not from around here and yet you are an elf? If you do not mind me asking, how can this be?”

“I was abandoned as an elf-ling, Ariella’s mother was going to take me in, but she couldn’t cope. Instead, her sister adopted and raised me.”

“Oh…what’s she like?”

“My mother? Oh, she’s amazing…”

As he continues, Tarron never knew he could talk to anyone except Ariella about his life back in the village. It feels weirdly good, but it also reminds him of what he misses: his family and you.

__________________________________________________________

“You would disobey me, again?”

Thinking you were alone, you stop dead in your tracks. The wood is dark and the path is unclear, yet upon first entering, the anger you felt made you almost oblivious to the possible dangers…but this enemy, you knew.

You turn to your left. His tone is harsh and you are reminded why you used to fear him. But you’re just too angry and upset to care. He stands there with his sword sheathed by his side, as he stares at you sternly, his tall figure stepping forward from the shadows onto the path in front of you. Even in the dark he looks good. The elegant bastard.

“What’s it to you? I can leave if I want to.”

You barge past him feeling slightly satisfied with yourself until you’re promptly spun around as he grabs you by the upper arm.

“Do not toy with my emotions, Ariella. I can assure you, those who do, live to regret it.”

If he had said this at any other time, you would have melted into his arms. Somehow, his dominant nature made you feel protected…and rather turned on. But how could he deny any emotional attachment to you in front of his son!? You could only think of one possible explanation for it: you are an embarrassment. He wouldn’t want everyone knowing about his human whore. After all, he’s much too dignified for that. Attempting to pull away from his grasp, you form the idea that he thinks you’re playing the ‘hard to get’ role.

“Let me go!”

You wiggle against his hold, but it only seems to make his grip grow firmer; making you all the more frustrated. You want to scream and cry at the same time for letting him make you feel this way. As angry tears threaten to spill, Thranduil’s face contorts in confusion as he watches you unfold.

“How could you! I knew, I knew all along th-that this would h..happen…”

You can barely get your words out in between gasping for air as all of your energy is taken up from crying.

“Ariella…wh-”

Managing to slip away from his iron hold, your free arm is now out of his reach as you make a swift turn in an attempt to run away. Thranduil refuses to let you go and uses little effort is yanking you back to face him. His eyes lock with yours and they are pleading, full of concern at seeing you in this state. But his words to Legolas circle round your head. Seething, you slap him across his stupidly perfect cheek.

Your hand instantly covers your mouth as you gasp at your own actions. His grasp on you is no more as he turns his face slowly back to yours. Although you know he is not violent, as he takes in a deep breath and draws himself up to his full height, you feel small and awfully intimidated. Taking small steps back, you whimper.

“Thr…I…Pl-Please, I’m so sorry…I-”

“That, my darling, was a big mistake.”

Shivering, you can’t risk waiting to see your punishment so you run as fast as your tired legs can go. Your bare feet are sore and your heart is pounding so hard, it’s ready to burst. To make things worse, you fall over a protruding root and collapse into an exhausted, muddy heap. Scrambling to sit up, you soon see that it wasn’t a root, but someone’s boot. Typical. You open your mouth to speak, but you’re cut off.

“You are coming back with me. Whether you want to or not.”