Literally just all the sexual things Alexander Hamilton sent to John Laurens
“I love you.”
This one is pretty self explanatory. Men were much more intimate back in the 1700′s, forming bonds that seem very ~gay~ in today’s light. Homosexuality wasn’t a very understood thing back then because rigid moral codes and censured education prevented people from learning more about sexuality.
But Alexander Hamilton knew.
He grew up on an island where ‘Sodomites’ (gay people) were dumped and allowed to mingle with the island population. Alex knew that there was a certain zone of interactions between men that went from being merely friendly to sexual. He clearly steps into the bounds of sexual while fully realizing it.
“In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I [- - - - - -].”
Ahhhhhhhhh my son Alex, could you be more explicit? Alex here is obviously referring to his something else (you know) with the knowledge that John Lauren’s knows the size. This sentence right here is basically just one long ;).
“Your friend” seems to be written teasingly, as if they both know how far from friends they are.
And we can only guess how dirty Alex got in those last six CUT OUT words.
“Dear Boy” [sent by John Laurens]
John laurens calls his wife his ‘dear girl’, and here he calls Alex his ‘dear boy’. Moreover, Laurens did not call any other man he ever wrote to as his ‘dear boy’. Laurens seems to see Alex as on the same level, if not higher, as his own wife.
“Did I mean to show my wit? If I did, I am sure I have missed my aim. Did I only intend to [frisk]? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend.”
This phrase right here I unfortunately do not see a lot when people talk about Alex and John’s letters. This, to me, is one of the most explicit. “Wit” also mean one’s you know what (here I give a nod to the Ravenclaw moto), so Hamilton’s saying he was pretty much just messing around with John the last letter he sent. This is the only sort of “intercourse” he is able to have with John, as they are both so far apart. He is incapable of ‘sexual’ intercourse because of their distance, so he feels he must, in the 18th century way, sext.
“I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.”
As you might have already guessed, Alex is inviting John to a threesome on his wedding night. The idea that Alex feels so at ease inviting John to a threesome with his wife suggests they have already had something going for a long time now.
“But like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued. I had almost resolved to lavish no more of them upon you and to reject you as an inconstant and an ungrateful –”
Here Alex compares himself to John’s lover, and a jealous one at that. John seems to be shying away from Alex’s bawdiness, as if realizing how strange their relationships is in retrospect. Alex is scrambling to hang on to him, even though he knows well what are and what happens to Sodomites. He would do anything for John while knowing the consequences. And John is too afraid to join him.
And who the hell knows what the last word was.
“And believe me, I am lover in earnest,”
*cough cough* looks like John knows exactly what happens when Alex’s feeling frisky.
“She [Eliza] loves you a l'americaine not a la francoise.”
The French were renowned for their relaxed stance on extramarital love affairs, while Americans were more Puritan-minding and thought love affairs only should happen in church-sanctioned marriages. Thus Eliza has an a l’americaine love of John Laurens, rather than an a la francoise.
“You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiations that I have no invincible antipathy to the maidenly beauties & that I am willing to take the trouble of them upon myself.”
*cough* this sentence is a bit confusing, and could be taken a few ways. What I infer from this is that Alexander Hamilton is willing, and John knows this, to assume an air of femininity because he finds no fault with it. It was commonly noted by people who wrote of Hamilton that he was very feminine in comparison with other men of his day. Alex’s femininity seems to please John, the topic even having been discussed between the two in ‘negotiations’.
“My ravings are for your own bosom”
Alex desperately misses Laurens’ intimate contact in a way that, in my opinion, could never be mistaken as simply friendship. Alex literally wants to be held by John. How fucking heartbreaking is that.
“Yrs for ever”
Ok, this one isn’t sexual, but I had to add it because it is so heartbreaking. This was Alex’s last farewell note to John. That is, if he even received it. He died shortly after Alex sent the letter; whether he read the farewell or not is all lost to history. Alex loved John so much, despite the fact that both already had a wife. He would have always loved him, even if they had grown apart…
Why the SPN mixtape scene from 12x19 is screenwriting gold, and should be taught to the next generations of screenwriters everywhere - analysis
20 seconds. Two lines of dialogue, three gestures, a couple more camera angles. Episode 19, season 12 of a genre TV show “Supernatural”. A single strike of screenwriting and cinematic genius. The mixtape scene.
Robert Berens and Meredith Glynn, I bow before you.
This scene should be used as an example for future screenwriters how you can put maximum of meaning into minimal time and dialogue. Should be analyzed and taught at universities everywhere, how to achieve the most using the least. How to write for TV, where you only have less than an hour to built something spectacular.
Let’s just peel off all the layers of these 20 seconds of footage and these 13 words. 13 WORDS.
(Cas knocks, Dean doesn’t say anything. Cas opens the door, apologizes for disturbing Dean in his room, and then takes a cassette tape out of his left inside coat pocket, and puts it on the desk, while tapping the label on it that says “Deans (sic!) top 13 Zepp traxx”.)
Cas: Um, I just wanted to return this.
Dean: It’s a gift. You keep those.
13 tracks. 13 words. The future. So number thirteen is important for the future. I mean, are you trying to tell us something here, writers?
(Dean takes the tape, oustreches his arm, and gives it back to Cas. We see Cas’ hand grabbing the tape, and taking it back.)
That tiny scene is ENORMOUS from the perspective of the narrative and the characterization. Let’s see what we can get out of it. (Prepare yourself: it’s gonna be long. Damn, how much meta can you write based on 20 seconds of television and two lines of dialogue?) (Hint: A lot.)
You could never back down, you never learned to take your - TIME
Aaron Burr, Sir:
Talk Less. Smile More.
My Shot: I think ya pants look hot ;)
The Story of Tonight: Raise a glass to freedom…
You want a revolution? I want a revelation!
Is he in Jersey?
You’ll Be Back:
I will kill your friends and family… to remind you of, my, love DA DA DA D-
Right Hand Man:
Burr! Sir? Close the door on your way out.
If you could marry a sister, you’re rich son. Is it a question of if Burr, or which one?
Laughing at my sister cause she wants to form a harem: I’m just saying if you really loved me you would share him.HA!
… He’d be mine. She would say “I’m fine” she’d be lying.
The Story of Tonight (Reprise): You are the worst, Burr
Wait For It: When they died they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect
I’m a general. WEEE!!
Ten Duel Commandents: Okay so we’re doing this…
That Would Be Enough: And if this child shares a fraction of your smile, or a fragment of your mind, look out world, that would be enough.
Guns And Ships:
No one has more resilience or matches my practical tactical BRILLIANCE.
History Has Its Eyes On You:
You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story.
Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down):
Immigrants, we get the job done.
What Comes Next:
Dear Theodosia: I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll make a million mistakes.
Hamilton wrote THE OTHER FIFTY-ONE
What’d I Miss?:
I guess I basically missed the late 80’s.
Cabinet Battle #1:
Turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits.
Take a Break:
You’ve written “My Dearest, Angelica…. “
Say No To This:
That was my wife who you decided to- fuuu
The Room Where It Happens:
The art of the compromise, hold your nose and close your eyes.
They don’t need to know me they don’t like you.
Cabinet Battle #2:
You must be outta your GODDAMN MIND
Washington On Your Side:
SOUTHERN MOTHERFUCKING DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS!!!
One Last Time:
I’m sorry wha-?
I Know Him: They will tear each other into pieces, Jesus Christ this will be fun :D
Siddown John YOU FAT MOTHER——
… We were sick and she was holding me, I couldn’t seem to die.
The Reynolds Pamphlet:
You could never be satisfied, god I hope your satisfied.
You, you, you
Blow Us All Away:
Everything is legal in New Jersey…
Stay Alive (Reprise):
I know, you did everything just right.
It’s Quiet Uptown: Forgiveness. Can you imagine?
The Election of 1800:
Well I’ll be damned…
Your Obedient Servant:
Here’s an itemised list of thirty years of disagreements. Sweet Jesus
The World Was Wide Enough:
America, you great unfinished symphony, you sent for me.
Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story:
Oh I can’t wait to see you again, it’s only a matter of time.
Congratulations: You know why Jefferson can do what he wants? He doesn’t dignify schoolyard taunts with a response
Dear Theodosia (Reprise): We bleed and fight for you, sometimes it seems that’s all we do.
Ten Things, One Thing (I genuinely can’t decide between these five so here you go):
- The sun is in my eyes. I am almost giddy as I watch it slowly rise over my New York City.
- I examine the gun that we shared. Philip never hurt a soul, he must have been so scared.
-I feel a sense of calm fill me, it’s not in his political interest to kill me.
- My Eliza is still asleep. I left her a letter, I could have written it better.
- They put us through our paces, we count to ten. God, I can’t wait to see her again.
Just a quick note to say I didn’t forget Tomorrow There’ll Be More of
Us, I just decided against including it because, in Lin’s own words,
it’s more of a scene than a song. Really it’s just the The Story of
Tonight sung over some quite, uneventful dialouge (very poetic given the content of that dialouge) so I decided to just leave it out. Anyways thanks for reading my random post I guess? Bye bye
Did you ever have a genuine psychic/medium experience?
Although many readings can be attributed to cold readings or sheer coincidence sometimes it’s uncanny how accurate psychics/mediums can be. Here’s a collection of supposedly genuine experiences from threads. If you have an experience feel free to tag me @sixpenceee!
I never believe in palm /card readings. I don’t actually believe in it nowadays. BUT when I was in 9th grade, my friend took me with her to a fortune teller so she can have her future read. Surprisingly she mentioned about her love dilemma, a blonde guy and dark haired guy. She was completely convinced about her reading powers while I was meh… We’re teenagers, it’s natural we’ll find ourselves in situations like this. And then she predicted the scores she’ll get at the exams when you finish high school (in our country there are some mandatory subjects for the exams, thus multiple numbers) she guessed that right. If I think really hard about probabilities and stuff I can find a logic explanation to that as well.
About 5 years ago I saw a psychic that a family friend had told me was the real deal. I went in skeptical and came out a believer.
She used tarot cards and knew things that could have been lucky guesses, like that I had just bought a house and was renovating it, but she also knew specific things that no one else could have known.
The most amazing part of the whole thing was that she knew that I had some complications with my hormones and had a surgery in the past that would make getting pregnant very difficult, but she told me Despite all this, I would have a baby later in life. Toward the end of the reading she hands me the tarot cards and tells me to shuffle them. Then tells me to ask three questions in my mind one at a time. I decided to really test her authenticity so the first question I decided to ask was am I going to have children, and halfway through laying the five cards down, she stops and looks at me and scolds me saying “I already told you that you were going to have one child!” hah this is when I knew.
This was before I was born. My mom had a neighbor who was a grandpa who could see the future. He told my mom that my sister would be really sick when she became a preteen and not to worry because she’d be okay. When my sister was a preteen she was diagnosed with cancer and after a year and a half she was perfectly fine. My mom was pregnant with me when she met him again and he told her that I would be a c-section baby. My mom already knew this and said she had scheduled the c-section already since I was breach but he was adamant that she would have me on a certain day and that the c-section wouldn’t go on the planned day. I was born on the exact day he predicted.
Nothing too crazy but the fact that he knew that my sister would be sick and would be okay is crazy to me. He also didn’t want any money and approached my mom and asked if he could do a reading for her.
John: hot sand hot sand hot sand *makes it to the water* cold water cold water cold water (this goes on for like an hour before he settles finally). Brought one of those fake shark fins and straps it to the top of his head. He fools no one. Brought approximately 53 kites and loses All of them because Dave said “hey I bet your kites can’t hold up against your windy thing”. He was right. Tells Karkat that the ocean speaks to ppl through conch shells, he holds one up to his ear, nods, “sorry Karkat, the ocean says you’re an idiot”. Karkat is horrified and John is dying trying to keep a straight face.
Dave: has a SBAHJ swimsuit and a SBAHJ surfboard. Challenges Jade to a surf-off. “Are you sure, Dave? I’ve had a lot of practice and it’s not as easy as it looks! I’ve got it, Dave reassures her. How difficult can it be. She warned u, bro. She warned u about the surf. He does not get back in the water. Fills a bucket with crabs of various shapes and sizes throughout the day, at the end he calls Karkat over to where he’s standing by the waters edge. Hey. Hey Karkat. Look what I found. He pours the crabs out at Karkat’s feet. Karkat looks unsettled. Dave. Where did you even find all these crabs Dave. They’re your children Karkat. I did this for you.
Jade: spends the whole day in the water and also she is a surf goddess did I mention that? Doesn’t put any sunscreen in and everyone is concerned but she barely even tans. After getting out of the water she does the Wet Doggo Shake™ Jade can u pls just warn us before u do that pls you’re getting us all soaking wet. Smells suspiciously like wet dog but everyone is too polite to point it out. Helps Dave collect his crabs bc she has an uncanny knack for finding them (she’s sniffing them out with her doggy nose but doesn’t tell Dave bc she wants to show off).
Rose: builds sand castles with Kanaya bc Kanaya is deadass terrified of the ocean. They surpass sandcastle tbh it’s more like a sand palace. Rose found a bunch of nice purpley shells to decorate with and also some rocks that look suspiciously arcane and vaguely powerful. High tide somehow wipes out the group’s chairs but doesn’t touch the sandcastle. Hm. Chastises Dave for building dicks out of the sand. Is there something you’d like to tell us, Dave? *Dave sweating* what’s a penis I don’t even know anyone named Karkat. Rose smiles innocently. Of course not. Throughout the day, Rose brings water for Kanaya to drink and also to dump on her so she can regulate her body temperature. Since she’s a cold-blood her body temp is lower so she overheats v easily.
Kanaya: is deadass terrified of the ocean. Does the detail work on the castle she and Rose are making, carves out little stairs and turrets and makes flags out of spare ribbon she keeps in her bag. It’s beautiful. She cries at the end of the day when they have to leave it even though they’ve taken lots of pictures. . Karkat comes up to her with a conch shell and holds it out to Kanaya, “john told me the ocean said I was an idiot Kanaya what is it saying I can’t hear anything” She takes the conch shell and listens. Mmhm. Yes. Oh My. “What did it say???” It Was Really Quite Rude, I Shouldn’t Repeat It. Karkat is about to cry. Kanaya and Rose secretly fist bump.
Karkat: oh boy this has really been A Day for him. He’s nervous around the ocean already but apparently it thinks he’s an idiot??? He loves the crabs they remind him of his lusus, it was slightly horrifying that Dave put a bunch of them in a bucket for obvious reasons. Wants to be buried in the sand, Jake helps him dig a big hole and he and Dave and Dirk all work together to make it big enough and fill it in afterwards. Dave writes “im gay” underneath Karkat’s head poking out and Karkat yells at him for taking pictures. Sollux falls asleep on his towel and Karkat writes “beefucker” on his forehead.
Terezi: before they got there everyone told Terezi not to lick the sand. Guess what she did. Also, accidentally popped the beach ball with her teeth because she was licking it. There’s a theme here can u find it. Is in the water a lot because Vriska is desperately trying to regulate her body temperature and has v little energy to say mean things which everyone is grateful for. To make her feel better, Terezi engages in wildly uncreative insults that Vriska can easily latch onto without having to put much energy in. “Hey Terezi is the water cold?” I don’t know john, is your FACE cold? “Terezi that doesn’t even make any sense”, your face doesn’t make any sense! She cackles as if this is some High Brow Humor every single time.
Jake: has an irrational fear of seagulls, they keep coming for his food and that makes him nervous because the monsters on his island were one thing but this? This sly and wily creature? Dirk is like,,,buddy,,,it’s just a seagull? It’s just a bird? “They’re eating my fries, Dirk, I won’t stand for it!” Jake has a little ukulele that he knows like five songs on, he sits outside by the boardwalk and just strums it sometimes after dark. One night, two little kids come by and give him 6 dollars in crumpled singles for his playing and he started crying he was so touched.
Jane: is having the TIME of her life, and is also the Mom friend. She’s simultaneously kicking ass at beach volleyball and reminding everyone to put on their sunscreen and reapply every two hours please! She’s also having a good time experimenting with cooking seafood some nights, though once she made the mistake of bringing in crab and Karkat did Not take it well. It took an hour to calm him down. Jane felt awful and made it up to him by buying him a nice hoodie w a happy crab on it. Bought a cute little blue boogie board and hangs out with Jade and Roxy in the water, she’s not very good at it but she likes swimming around a little.
Dirk: he’s that one friend that goes way too hard in casual games tbh. Like, they’re just playing a friendly game of volleyball Dirk can you please stop spiking it every five seconds. The grind never stops, Roxy, don’t hate the player hate the grind. Jane looked at him w so much disappointment in her eyes after he said it that he felt the force of her stare physically and had to take a step back. Tries to show Jake that seagulls aren’t scary by feeding them, but they start attacking him for his fries which does not help prove his point at all.
Roxy: “the babe” Lalonde has been ready for a beach trip her entire life. She is checking out the lifeguards, she’s checking out the other gals and dudes strolling about the beach, she’s got her best friends with her, what more could she want??? She buys a cutesy pink surfboard and Dave makes fun of her for it and she smiles sweetly. Oh sorry Dave? I forgot you were so good at surfing?? No one knows how or when Roxy learned to hang ten but THERE SHE GOES. She finds a lot of pretty shells and rocks and sand dollars and is just enthusiastic about everything tbh. She brightens everyone’s mood always.
Calliope: cherubs can’t float so Roxy’s overprotective ass won’t let her near the water unless someone is with her and making sure she’s safe. This is Fine with calliope bc that means that she’s never alone and therefore she’s never lonely and really that’s all she’s ever wanted so!! She’s v content to watch Jade and Roxy surf, she will sit w Jane sometimes when she isn’t in the water. She also likes digging for sand crabs with Karkat bc she likes their little legs. She wants to dig deep enough to find a lobster and no one has the heart to tell her that’s not how it works.
Sollux: this idiot. This boy. My sweet sweet son. Makes the horrible mistake of falling asleep on his towel. He was underneath the big umbrella when he started, but as the sun moves and he’s not putting on more sunscreen?? John, Dave, and Karkat take it upon themselves to not only write “beefucker” on his forehead, but also draw dicks on his whole body in sunscreen so he burns (trolls turn a darker shade of their blood color) and ends up with these pale gray dicks surrounded by a horrible dark, mustardy burn.
Sterek AU: After the death of Claudia magic becomes a taboo in the Stilinski house hold. Everytime Stiles wants to show his dad his magic, to help his dad with his magic John lashes out. Not knowing what to do with the gift that he got from his mother, Stiles represses his magic - doing nearly unrepairable damage to himself.
Years later Derek returns to Beacon Hills to find that the Alpha that killed his sister is far from the most dangerous thing in town.
This is pretending that Bellamy could hear Clarke talking all those years, she just can’t hear him responding, and that the ship at the end is them coming back to Earth.
“Bellamy…are you up
there? Are you alive? Is anyone alive?”
“I only woke up
yesterday. At least, I think it was yesterday. I barely made it into the bunker
in time, but I made it. And the computer says it’s been three days since the
radiation hit, and I was so hungry I thought I might die. Please tell me you
“Bellamy, my mom was
right. In a way. My face is disgusting, covered in boils. You’d be laughing at
me…probably. Because she was right but so were you. I’m not dead Bellamy. I
hope you aren’t either.”
His fingers slammed on the respond button, pushing it down
to the point of it feeling like it would crack from the pressure.
SKAM S04E05 Clip 5 - Imagine all the people living life in peace
ESKILD: “You’re the one called Elias, right?” EVA: Elias is your brother? ESKILD: Then I go up to him and then I stroke him, just a little bit on his side at first, then I feel like a shiver going up his spine. *Gag noises* Then he left pretty quickly, but he seemed open for more fun. CHRIS: Are you crazy? EVA: Stop! I can send you the money. CHRIS: Send me the money? What? EVA: I can send it! How much is it? Hello! CHRIS: 112. EVA: It doesn’t! CHRIS: 112 for a beer. EVA: I can give you.. CHRIS: 112,50. 112,40.. [Are you coming?] EVA: 112,40? CHRIS: Point 40. [John Lennon - Imagine] EVEN: Thank you! CHRIS: Oh my God SANA: Yeah.. CHRIS: Yeah.. SANA: Oh, I love you so much.
Sometimes John and Sherlock accidentally talk all night.
Like maybe the intention to go to sleep at a normal time was there, but then they get distracted.
11 PM: They finish the movie and it just naturally feels like time for bed. Teeth are cleaned, doors are locked, and they settle in between the sheets, and damn is the bed comfortable compared to the haphazard dog pile of limbs they had gotten into on the sofa.
“What did you think of the film?”
“Nice; very enjoyable.”
“Did I tell you it was my favorite when I was a kid?”
“Yeah. Would watch it on repeat.”
“Interesting. But it’s no longer your favorite?”
“Right. I dunno- I still love it, but not in the same way.”
“I understand. Your favorite now is that one Bond, um…Die Another Day?”
“Yeah.” John gives Sherlock a small, soft smile. He looks almost bewitched.
“What’s that look for?”
“It’s for you. ”
“Yes, but why?”
“Because it’s really nice to have someone remember things like that about me.”
1 AM: The discussion has shifted to favorites, and why they’re favorites.
“So you would rather listen to that same Rolling Stones album again and again for eternity than ever even trying something like Debussey?”
“Alright, well, now I know.”
“You know what?”
“That we’re breaking up.”
2 AM: …and now they’re just naming things they like.
John: “Long car journeys”
Sherlock: “The smell of coffee.”
“You hate coffee.”
“I hate the taste of coffee.”
“You are a complex being.”
They laugh some more.
John: “Rainy mornings that last all day.”
“I didn’t know that.”
Sherlock fidgets with his lips, trying to figure out how to phrase his answer.
“Because you always wake me very…pleasantly… and often you continue waking me pleasantly for most of the morning…afternoon…even into the evening sometimes.”
“Do I? When it’s raining?”
“Yes. Not every time, but under a certain set of conditions I can, for the most part, look at the forecast for the morning the night before and know in advance whether or not I’ll be getting anything done the next day.”
John looks back at him, a concoction of surprise, then near embarrassment, then a sly smile.
“Interesting, see, I find that I get one thing in particular done consistently on those days.”
4 AM: The topic has shifted between worst hangover stories and crazy uni memories to some more difficult things, like John’s time in the service, and Sherlock’s addiction.
“We’ve sort of been dealt a few tough hands eh?”
“Makes me want to take you away somewhere and just be relaxed for a bit.”
“I would agree to that in an instant.”
“Yeah? Let’s do that, then.”
“I do get them on occasion.”
John is trying to work in to the concersation something he’s been wanting Sherlock to know for a long time. It’s difficult, though- he’s never really said anything like this- anything so personal.
“It says a lot about you, I think, that I can do things like this- stay awake all night, not having to be overwhelmed or rampant. You balance me, John.”
“Yeah..yeah I- I know what you mean. You also- I mean, you sort of…I don’t dread…my life to come…anymore. I used to think of all the days and years I had left to endure, wonder how I would fill them, hoping I could find something that wouldn’t feel so miserable, something to settle for, but you- fuck, Sherlock, I think back to that now and it feels like a horrible nightmare. I’m…more than just glad, to have found you. You- damn, this is hard, I-”
Sherlock ties his fingers with John’s and moves even closer.
"Take your time. No rush. No pressure. Anything you want to tell me, you can. You’re safe here.”
"I suppose…You umm…you made me rethink- my plans, for me, yes. But not only that, you also showed me a way of living so different from what I had known, so much better and full of richness, I look back at those days where I no longer wanted to be alive and think -it’s probably because I wasn’t alive. I had every responsibility and felt every drawback of life but was denied any of the good stuff. You showed me so much more than I ever knew was out there- you sort of saved my life by…showing me how to live it? That’s so cheesy, I-”
And now Sherlock is crying. So John starts crying.
6 AM: they’ve got themselves together by now and moved on to something a little lighter.
"Right…so, you mean to tell me that James Moriarty, criminal mastermind, scary man with an affinity for the latest in explosive fashion, still sleeps with a teddy bear?”
"How did you figure that one out?”
"It took a few-visits- to piece it together, mostly because I was in disbelief myself, but he shows signs of a stiff neck as if he sleeps in an extremely bent position with one arm hooked partially under himself, likely around a small item. Persistence of this soreness shows that he didn’t just sleep wrong once, he makes a habit of this position. But what really sealed the realization was the right thumbnail. Much shorter than all the others, wrinkled texture, dry skin around the edges where the rest of his finers are immaculately manicured. Exposed to moisture for long periods of time.”
"No fuckin way!”
"Oh yes. He sucks his thumb. What a terrifying creature.”
"I’m always curious what you could tell about me right away and what took you a bit longer.”
That’s a dangerous path John- not everyone wants to know what others can tell about them.”
"Yeah but I’m just tired enough to ask anyway.”
"Well, all the things I pointed out at Bart’s…then more and more about your childhood based on your dating habits…around a month after we moved in I had narrowed down the approximate size of your…tyre lever…”
"Well…I had underestimated, to be honest. Your stature is misleading, as I’m sure you know.”-
"So, that is to say, you were-”
"Incredibly anxious and then surprised in the best possible way.”
"I was going for ‘not disappointed’, but alright.”
"Not in the slightest. My God, not even a little. In fact, what’s the opposite of disappointed?”
7 AM: Talking has ceased. The sun seeps in at the sides of the drapes, pale and gray. It’s a bit chilly, but neither know- it’s aafe and warm in the bubble of their room.
Neither sleep until around noon, after tea and toast in bed- the rain hits the roof in steady droves, tapping occasionally at the window if the wind blows a certain way.
Lana Del Rey says Donald Trump helped shape her album ‘Lust For Life’ — and the world needs feminism more than ever. The singer has returned to the world of music with her fourth studio album in five years.
LANA DEL REY’s latest album glitters with an all-star cast. On ‘Lust For Life,’ her most impressive album yet, Lana teams up with heavyweights such as The Weeknd, Stevie Nicks, Sean Ono Lennon and A$AP Rocky.
They are the first collaborations in her career so far, which spans five studio albums, including four in the past five years — an impressive work rate for the Los Angeles-based star.
“I am Groot,” Peter said dutifully. He felt like an idiot, but there were only a limited number of ways to while away quiet nights on the ship when neither of them could sleep. If it was him and Gamora, or him and Drax, they could spar, but he’d only tried sparring with Rocket once. It took weeks for the bite marks to heal.
Rocket’s oddly expressive – for a raccoon – face wrinkled in an expression of disgust. “Do you even hear yourself? That is nothing like what I just said.”
“Dude, that is exactly what you just said.”
“No, I said ‘I am Groot’ and you said ‘I am Groot’.”
“Which is … the same?”
Rocket stared at him for a long moment, then pointed at his snout. “Read my lips: I am Groot.”
“Was I supposed to repeat that, or …”
Rocket showed some teeth. Peter shut up. There was a moment of silence and Peter was just about to put his earbuds back in and quit with the language lessons when Rocket said suddenly, “Quill, if I say, 'I am Groot,’ just like that, what do you hear?”
“Is this a trick question? Especially the kind of trick question that’s gonna end in you pissing on my bed?”
“That was only once, and you had it coming –”
“No, for the love o’ cheese, it’s not a trick question. Just say 'I am Groot’.”
“I am Groot,” Peter said. “I feel like a complete jackass right now, in case that was your intent – hey, where are you going?”
“Jus’ need to get a thing!” Rocket’s voice trailed behind him.
Peter flopped back down in the chair in the mess and put his earbuds in. He was actually getting sleepy, and considering going back to bed, when Rocket jumped up onto the table in front of him with something clutched in his paws.
“What’s that?” Peter asked, sitting up. He palmed off the Zune and took off the earpieces. He had to hand it to Earth tech: the new music player was a lot more convenient to carry around than his late, lamented Walkman.
Rocket’s device was a thin, flat screen about the size of a hardback book; he had it clutched with a paw on each side while readouts rippled quickly across it.
“Okay, now say 'I am Groot’,” Rocket declared, studying the screen.
“Come on, man, do we really have to go through this again?”
Peter sighed and slouched in his chair. “I am Groot.”
Rocket’s ears pricked forward. “I am Groot,” he said, and tapped the display with his paw, causing the tiny, scrolling lines and numbers to freeze. “Did that sound the same to you?”
“Well … yeah?”
The flat pads of Rocket’s fingers danced across the display, and he laid the screen on the table between them. “Know what you’re lookin’ at?”
“Squiggly lines,” Peter said automatically.
“Did your mama drop you on the head a lot as a baby, Quill?”
“No, but Yondu did occasionally.” Peter rested his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand. As much fun as it was to mess with Rocket, he did actually think he knew what the raccoon was getting at. “That wiggly line is some kind of … uh … noise – wiggle – curve, right?”
“That’s real precise.”
“I was abducted from Earth before we got to algebra in school. Cut me some slack here.”
“Excuses, excuses. I was raised in a cage and my mother had an IQ of 3.” Rocket touched the display, zooming in on it. “Point is, I don’t think it’s just that all a’ you two-legged bunch is too obtuse to understand perfectly clear speech –”
“– like I used to think. It’s more like, my ears hear at higher and lower frequencies than yours do, so I get different overtones. Put simply for the simple, I can hear things you can’t.”
Peter leaned forward, intrigued. “So, wait – you mean all this time, all his 'I am Groot’s sound different to you?”
He realized what he’d said as soon as the words left his mouth, and got the flat 'I am dealing with morons’ look from Rocket that he’d instantly realized he had coming. “How am I supposed to understand him if they don’t, Quill, I ask you?”
“Okay – point – but … so why does it sound like 'I am Groot’ to the rest of us?”
“It sounds like 'I am Groot’ to me too.” When Peter glowered at him, Rocket held up a paw. “No, I ain’t messin’ with ya. This time. No, that’s what the translation unit picks up, 'cause it ain’t so smart about some of the less humanoid languages. It’s just, I hear it like …” He hesitated and waggled his paw. “It’s like your music, right? All those up and down tones at the same time. Groot can do that. Your throat, my throat, can’t.”
“Singing?” Peter said after a minute. “Groot’s singing?”
“I refer you back to the part about bein’ dropped on your head.” Rocket pursed his lips and let out a sharp whistle, making Peter jump – there was still some part of him that couldn’t quite hear whistling and not expect a death arrow to follow an instant later. And he might not be the only one, because Rocket stopped abruptly, closed his mouth, and then said, “Quill, do this,” and hummed softly.
It wasn’t really a tune. “You just want me to hum?” Peter asked. “Like, generic humming?”
Rocket curled his lip and the hum became more of a snarl.
“Right, humming,” Peter said hastily.
The funny thing was, the instant his soft hum of response hit the right harmonics with the note Rocket was humming (and the raccoon did have a good sense of pitch; Peter had always suspected so) he understood exactly what Rocket was getting at.
“Ohhhhh. When Groot talks, it’s like a symphony. Is that what you mean? And the 'I am Groot’ part is the part in the human audible range.”
Rocket’s ears and tail went up cheerfully. “Yeah, ezzactly. He’s tryin’ to communicate, it’s just he didn’t get any farther than 'I am Groot’ when he was learning. It’s as hard for him to do the talkin’ part for the translators as it is for you and me to do his kind of talk. He can hear us just fine, though. Actually to him, understanding our talk is dead easy.”
“So how do we understand him?” Peter asked. “Can you, I dunno, juice up the translator so it picks up a higher range of frequencies, or something?”
“I dunno. That’s not a bad idea.” Rocket tapped his claw against his teeth before picking up the screen thing and hopping off the table. “Have to think on it. Don’t wanna explode your heads or anything.”
“Yeah, well, on that lovely note, I’m goin’ to bed.” He actually was tired enough now to fall asleep in spite of the inevitable nightmares (the bitter cold and darkness of space; Ego’s face dissolving in his hands; his friends crushed by rocks or blown apart). The music helped as it always had, a melodic bulwark against the dark, wrapped gently around his heart – but it could only do so much.
Rocket grunted absently as he trotted off, already engrossed in figuring out the problem.
The thought occurred to Peter as he wandered back to his quarters, thumbing idly through the songs on the Zune, that these sorts of mechanical puzzles served the same purpose for Rocket as his music did for him: something to make his mind go quiet.
The music did that … and so did letting Gamora beat the stuffing out of him in the ship’s small exercise area. Or getting language lessons from Rocket. Or –
“I am Groot?”
Peter jumped as small hands grabbed hold of his pants leg. Groot shimmied quickly up to perch on his shoulder.
“Hey, little buddy.” Peter opened the door to his quarters and left it open so Groot could come and go as he wanted. Or so he could hear if anybody got into a fight or whatever. He flopped wearily on his unmade bed, careful not to dislodge Groot. “You know, I’m not sure how much of this you can understand right now, but Rocket’s teaching me to speak your language.”
“I am Groot?”
“Well, to understand you more than speak it, I guess I should say.” He was lying on his back now and he couldn’t really see Groot except out of the corner of his eye, but he could feel the little tree shifting around in the hollow where the collar of his sweatshirt rested against his neck.
“I am Groot,” Groot said insistently, almost in his ear. Small hands patted at the side of his face and his earlobe.
“Yeah, yeah.” Peter pinched one earbud between two fingers and held it where Groot could get at it. The little hands took it out of his fingers. Peter settled himself comfortably as Groot squirmed somewhat ticklishly against his neck, and sorted through the songs. “How 'bout Elton John tonight, buddy?”
“I am Groot,” came the sleepy answer.
“You know, little guy,” Peter murmured, as the first strains of the music began to play and Groot snuggled comfortably against his neck, “whether or not Rocket can get his new gadget working, I think we understand each other just fine, don’t we?”
Characters: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader / Friend!Reader, Sam Winchester x Sister!Reader / Friend!Reader, Bobby, John
Length: 1663+ words
TW: Suicide. Depression. Abandonment. Dean being a jerk.
A/N: Another word vomit that I did when I couldn’t sleep last week. I just had the idea in my head for the whole night, and I knew if I didn’t write it down, I wouldn’t be able to remember it the next morning. So, here it is! Feedback is encouraged!
The thing about the Winchester family was that they collect family like one would collect dolls. They have a lot of family around the State, any of them willing to do anything for the brothers. They always had a saying.
Family doesn’t end in blood.
Except it does. They can say it as many times as they want, but there isn’t anything they wouldn’t do for the family. Their blood family.
You were 4 when you were collected by John, and shipped off to Bobby’s. You were basically raised alongside the brothers from then on. Sam being a year older than you, and his brother, Dean, being 5 years older than you.
You were 5 when Dean ran out of breakfast. Bobby, and John were gone on a hunt, leaving 10 year-old Dean in charge. There was half a single granola bar left, and he looked uneasily between you and Sam, both of you had complained about being hungry. He gave you a strange look, and even though you were 5, you knew what it meant. Afterall, John gave you the same look when he told you why you can’t come home to your parents. It was also the same look that Bobby gave you when you asked about your parents. The look of guilt. You turned away, not being able to handle the fact that his decision had already been made when he was 4, and the responsibility of Sam’s livelihood was thrusted into his hands.
“Not hungry,” you mumbled, despite your roaring stomach. Sam’s eyes lit up with glee as he snatched the snack from his brother’s hand, and you can see Dean’s face visibly relax.
“Sammy’s my responsibility. You understand, right?” Dean asked, a hopeful smile on his face.
You gave him a nod, hopping off the chair, and went back to your bed, hoping you can sleep away the hunger.
It seems Tyler Hoechlin is your favorite live-action Superman, but can you rank the actors from worst to best as you see it (of the current actors, I'm not sold on Hoechlin yet, but I think it has more to do with my dislike of his costume—particularly how the cape attaches—that it distracts me from the character, while Cavill seems to physically look perfect for the part and certainly is capable of the acting and charm, but the script he has to work with is lacking)?
Leaving out Kirk Alyn, John Haymes Newton and Gerard Christopher, since I’m not familiar with their performances:
7. Tom Welling
I feel kind of bad about this one. I grew up watching Smallville, y’know? And in terms of sheer man-hours devoted to the role, Welling has more of a claim to being Superman than anyone other than Bud Collyer. But he…wasn’t great, in retrospect. I suspect it was largely a matter of the material he was given; he did well whenever he actually had something to do, whether as dorky reporter Clark Kent intermittently throughout the final season, or various cases of amnesia/mind control/body-swapping/Red Kryptonite exposure. But outside maybe a sweet spot after he’d grown into the role and before he visibly started to get tired of it, and occasionally when getting to spar with (better) actors like Durance, Rosenbaum, and Glover, he had a weird stiffness when playing regular Clark Kent that for the most part didn’t translate into charm once he couldn’t bank on teen awkwardness anymore, and while that frankly made him a pretty honest depiction of the increasingly dicey version of the character he was written as, it didn’t make for a great take on Superman.
6. Henry Cavill
Cavill’s been more let down by the material than anything else - the unfortunate unifying factor of the bottom three here. When the movies let him be great, he really is great, whether promising Martha that he isn’t going anywhere even after learning the truth about Krypton or fighting for the stories he believes in against Perry White. For the most part though he just seems to be called on to look varying degrees of sad and solemn, asked to call on none of the charm he showed in, say, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. Granted his Superman has a lot to be down about, but there’s no range on display here; I don’t doubt he’s got a great take on the character in him, but for now it’s being kept under wraps.
5. Brandon Routh
Of all the reasons Superman Returns was such a damn shame, maybe the biggest was that it buried any chance of seeing the performance out of Brandon Routh that he so clearly had to offer. He’s a great dorky Clark, a charming Superman, and when the stars line up just right, he really manages to capture the idea of Superman as a melancholy figure - his take doesn’t just seem to be bearing the weight of the world in the philosophical abstract, but much more palpably feels an entire planet crying out for him, knowing he can never save them all but always trying anyway out of unconditional love, very much in line with Garth Ennis and John McCrea’s take on him in Hitman. Unfortunately all that takes up maybe 10-15 minutes of runtime, spending the rest of the movie stalking his ex with a neutral expression until he gets shived by Kevin Spacey and regurgitates Brando at his secret kid. Superman Returns was weird, ya’ll.
4. Dean Cain
I was honestly surprised with myself when I decided Cain won out as the best of the rest outside the big three - I thought for sure it’d be Routh. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that while Routh’s take is definitely closer to the version of Superman I had in my head, it’s compromised in a way the Superman of Lois & Clark never was: like the take or not, this is a perfect realization of the Superman the creators of the show clearly had in mind. His Clark’s funny, clever, warm, and vulnerable, and while it feels weird for him to be acting that way in the glasses these were the Byrne years, so as an expression of his ‘real’ self it’s pretty on-point. His Superman’s the weaker end, stilted even given it’s supposed to be him putting on a performance in-universe, but there’s such an unironic earnestness there that it typically slid back into charming.
3. George Reeves
I thought for awhile about 2 and 3, ultimately concluding that what was asked of George Reeves was a fair deal simpler. He didn’t much differentiate between Superman and Clark, and his booming radio announcer voice made clear we weren’t supposed to be measuring his performance in terms of whether or not he seemed like a real person. What he was called on to show though, and what he had out the wazoo, was raw charisma. When Jimmy asks him why he burst through a wall rather than using a door and Superman replies with a grin “Well, this seemed a little more spectacular,” you’re 100% willing to buy into that explanation, because yeah, it wasspectacular, because Superman’s fantastic. And he could more than hold his own with the best of them when asked to work with more serious material, whether wandering through an amnesic fog in Panic In The Sky with only his instinctive decency to guide him, or here, in the final scene of The Dog Who Knew Superman, where Clark has to deal with a dog not only adoring him, but recognizing him in both identities:
2. Christopher Reeve
I gave Tom Welling his well-earned due earlier, but if you really want to talk about a guy with a solid claim to being Superman, Christopher Reeve didn’t just embed himself on the psyche of a generation, but is still held up today as the unequivocal standard by which the role is set. In all likelihood he’ll always be ‘the’ Superman, in the same way as Sean Connery will always be James Bond, and Bela Lugosi will always be Dracula. He shone like the sun in the costume, he was believably such a wimpy klutz out of it that no one would guess they were the same even when it was staring them in the face, and if anyone has any lingering suspicions that he just had the easy task of playing two extremely arch roles to the hilt, they might be forgetting this bit:
Was it perfect? I don’t know about that - if nothing else there were one or two awkward line readings, and the identity division is so sharp that it’s hard to tell when you’re getting a glimpse of the real guy underneath all the identities. But while I definitely question how much of a positive impact on Superman those movies themselves really had in the long run, Reeve’s performance on its own was an undeniable revelation, everything he did reverberating with such a sincere and powerful sense of decency and love for his fellow man that it not only brought Superman to the life, but frankly changed him forever for the better.
1. Tyler Hoechlin
I expected nothing out of this guy. Not that I by any means thought he’d be bad, but when I heard some dude from Teen Wolf was gonna appear on an episode or two of Supergirl, my reaction was about as intense as…well, what you’d expect upon hearing that some dude from Teen Wolf was showing up on Supergirl, even given who he was playing (granted I’ve never seen Teen Wolf and don’t actually especially know what Teen Wolf is, beyond that it’s based on that werewolf-playing-basketball 80s movie written by…wait, Jeph Loeb?!). Looked fine - and it became clear he actually really did look the part once behind-the-scenes pictures started to come out, rather than that godawful original promo picture - and I figured he’d belt out his best Reeve/Animated Series/Cartoon-on-the-side-of-a-cereal-box brand Generic Superman Performance to cheer Kara on before vanishing into the sunset forever outside of the opening credits. I was plenty interested in the potential long-term ramifications of Superman being allowed on TV again in any capacity for the first time since the 90s, given the influence that suggested Geoff Johns had as the new DC President and what that could mean in terms of other characters showing up down the line, but I wasn’t inclined to think of this as anything other than a stepping stone, only notable in its own right because it meant someone would be wearing the s-shield.
Then we actually saw him.
Where the hell has this guy been all these years? Was he grown in a goddamn laboratory for the part? How did the best Superman ever end up in a minor recurring guest spot on the CW Supergirl show?
It would be so, so easy to leap to the idea that he simply works as a jack-of-all-trades: he’s almost as charming as Reeve, just about as confident as Reeves, nearly as vulnerable as Cain. But that would be selling what he’s doing short - especially given that he probably hasn’t had the opportunity to stretch as far as he could in any of those directions, as his role so far has very much been as Supergirl’s backup dancer. What it comes down to is his general demeanor and how he incorporates those aspects into a whole that feels more fully-realized than any portrayal before him. His Superman and Kent are not only distinctive to the point that within the heightened reality the show occupies you can buy that people think of them as different people, but you can see threads from both of them connecting back to the real Clark you see around Kara. He’s open and warm and authentic in a way none of his predecessors quite were, and he’s able to turn on a dime into steely determination or outright fury while remaining recognizable. He’s above everyone’s heads and vaguely alien at times without ever seeming detached or less than entirely loving of the people around him, able to admit his fears and failings while staying strong and capable of changing for the better, utterly and palpably good without ever sliding into naivete or cartoonishness. In short he has range and nuance, and thanks to that along with the air of laid-back friendliness he brings with him, he more than anyone else to put on the suit feels like a real person. And somehow, that real person feels as much as anyone ever has like Superman. And that’s a hell of an achievement. So someone give him his own goddamn show already.
Our intro shot of the karaoke bar introduces our players. I’m especially interested in how we see Mari and Sara twice each (and sharing one shot).
May I just say: I am glad my son Eskild is alive and Extra.
We have Chris talking to Sara (we don’t see Sara’s face but it’s her jumper) 👀
In general we have a big focus on couples (including Evak) and russebussen people. Showing, again, this season’s themes (love and identities/belongings).
We have some Chris and Eva talking about wiring money, which seems like foreshadowing to the russebuss contract and payment.
Even is about to sing and no one ships Evak more than Magnus.
@newlevelofdesperate wrote a great meta about Even singing “Imagine” by John Lennon. I agree with most of it. I’ll just add that the song is ironic, just like “I’m Not In Love” in s3e5. “Imagine all the people living life in peace.” Sana is feeling the song at the moment. She feels that everything came together, finally. But it’s not true. She wished she could create world peace (if you gave her the power to do so she would, she really would). But she can’t. Some things are beyond her reach and she still hasn’t managed to reconcile her two identities (Norwegian & Muslim). Also, I think the song is as much an Even song as a Sana one. Once again.
We barely see Mikael walk in, and Elias and the gang look around. Yousef seems to be looking in the crowd for Sana.
No shot of the squad until we get a shot of Even seeing them. Then Magnus and Jonas turn to see where Even is looking (not Isak or Mahdi) and we get another shot of balloon squad: no Mikael. Adam and Mutta seem unconcerned. Elias though sees Even and is not smiling (but he’s not looking mad either).
He grabs Yousef who was smiling towards Sana and…the smile falters.
[this is getting long so I’m adding a “read more”]
I just want to point out something. A joke is only funny when it isn’t used ad nauseam.
So, basically, when can we say this isn’t a joke but that there’s serious intent? How many times before we can rightfully say: this isn’t a joke, this is a pattern. This isn’t a bonus, this is the heart of the text?
1- Randy Orton commits arson.
2- Bray Wyatt baptizes himself with the ashes of his dead sister.
3- Xavier Woods says “I’m the only one that blows my girl”.
4- Brock Lesnar: “I don’t give a shit about your kids”.
5- John Cena calls The Miz a “puss”.
6- The name of a segment was actually “Total Bellas Bulls***”
7- Seth Rollins commits arson and probably killed a security guard (trailer of WWE 2k18)
9- “Big E, let’s just keep it PG, you know what’s good. Just don’t get all rated-R, like your boy Xavier Woods”.
10- Big Cass to Seth Rollins: “No matter what you have been telling yourself the past few years… Size does matter”.
11- AJ Styles to The Miz (and Maryse): “After the beating I gave you, I’m surprised you don’t perform with a limp. Or does he, Maryse?”
12- Enzo Amore “naked”.
13- THE JESUS ZIPPER.
14- Rusev to Big Cass: “Your boy has a huge problem.” Enzo Amore (who is “naked”): “I woulnd’t call it a problem.”
15- Randy Orton: “Clearly, Miz, you are an expert with playing with yourself.”
16- Lana “cheats” on her husband seducing Enzo Amore in a hotel room.
17- Roman Reigns almost kills Braun Strowman when crashed an ambulance where Braun was in.
18- Eva Marie has a “wardrobe malfunction”.
19- Sasha to Charlotte: “If it wasn’t for a one night stand you probably wouldn’t be standing here”.
20- The Rock, Lana and Rusev segment on The Rock’s return to Raw (“she’s flexible as hell”).‘
21- Dean Ambrose drops Jericho on a pile of thumbtacks (and then they post a video of the thumbtacks being removed from Chris’ body).
22- Paige to Charlotte referring to Charlotte’s brother who tragically died of a heroin overdose at the age of 25: “Your little baby brother didn’t have much fight in him, did he?”
23- Nikki Bella to Brie Bella: “I wish you died in the womb”.
24- CM Punk bathes himself and The Undertaker in the supposed ashes of Paul Bearer.
25- Kevin Owens says that Tom Phillips’s iPad password is “6969” and that he was “disgusting”.
26- Enzo running into Ric Flair on the way to the hotel room (where he has the intention of sleeping with a married woman) and assuring him he “won’t be SAWFT".
27- The Miz to Renee Young: “My obsession with Dean Ambrose? You’re the one sleeping with him!”
28- Paige licking Natalya’s face in a very sexual way.
29- Big Cass threatens to break Enzo’s neck.
30- Vince McMahon says to Shane McMahon he will have one more chance to give him a fucking beating.
31- CM Punk refuses to shake Stephanie McMahon’s hand because “he knows where that hand has been”.
32- AJ Lee says in her Pipe Bombshell: “I didn’t get here… because I SUCKED up to the right people.
33- Ric Flair tells Natalya to kill herself
34- Brie Bella to Stephanie McMahon “You’re so pathetic, you’re such a bitch”.
35- AJ Lee says to Nikki and Brie: “Talent is not sexually transmitted”.
36- Maryse to John Cena: “You know what they say, the bigger the ego the smaller the package.”
37- Paige: “Then you got Lana and Summer too busy trying to figure out who they want to climb onto next rather than the Divas division”.
38- CM Punk to Christian: “Unlike you I don’t waste all these people’s time by bitching and moaning… and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching, and bitching".
39- Paul Heyman: “Do you and your wife roleplay? Because I’m all about the roleplay”.
40- ANAL PROBES.
41- Bray Wyatt pours a bucket full of blood on Finn Bálor.
Faint, slightly irritating rumbling sounds rang in my ears, slowly pulling me out of my otherwise heavy sleep and forced my sore eyes to blink a few times, before being able to open them fully. At first, everything seemed blurry and the noises surrounding me seemed rather unfamiliar.
Slowly, waking up fully, I found myself laying in Shawn’s lap with my feet across the empty seat, I should have been sitting in.