he is so hilar i cannot

Things I will never forgive the Arrowverse for #3485697: the missed opportunity that was an Iris-Laurel friendship
  • They have so much in common they would have been able to Relate™
  • Both had aspirations to join the police
  • Both had dads who were really shitty and wouldn’t let them
  • Both found different ways to bring truth and justice to their cities
  • Both trained from a super young age how to fight
    • Like the weakass heroes in their cities are late bloomers, ok, Laurel and Iris were handing people their asses from like time immemorial
    • Can we say Girls Boxing Night???
      • And they end up inviting like Thea and Caitlin and Linda and literally Every Girl, All The Girls
  • Both are older sisters who would literally die for their little sib
  • Both have dads who are again really shitty and hypocritical about keeping secrets
    • But they both love and care for them anyway?? Joe and Quentin do not deserve them???
    • No one does tbh
  • Both had mothers who left them
    • Iris having someone to help continue to work through the mess that is her grief and her bitterness at how unfair everything with Francine was because the writers did her dirty and just like dropped that storyline like it didn’t matter????
  • Both have lost people so, so important to their lives
  • Both get told on the regular that they cannot Do The Thing
    • And then they both do it anyway????? Stfu boys, this is a woman’s job
  • Both are literal rays of sunshine
    • The power of their combined smiles would be too radiant to be seen with mortal eyes
  • Just picture like, laughing over milkshakes about their vigilante dorks arranging masked rooftop meetings with them okay like as if anyone else could understand the hilarity
    • “he told me I was someone worth being on time for” “was he ever late again after that?” “like EVERY TIME, girl, what even was that about???”
  • Both are their own heroes
  • Both are iconic women with decades of comic book history who deserve so much better than these shows that are like just renting them out from DC lbr like respect the legacy you amateurs
  • Both have developed strong friendships with like everyone in their respective casts
    • Their friendship would just be like the epitome of that awesomeness?????????
      • Why did it not happen I am forever bitter?????????????
2

not me // liam dunbar

summary ; in which a game of truth and dare between two teenagers and a childish question causes liam to panic and possibly ruin a friendship and a blossoming relationship.

requested ; yes

pairing ; liam dunbar & reader

warnings ; underage drinking, angst

word count ; 3.2k

published ; 3rd december, ‘16

masterlist

stay safe + ily💫

“So, what are you going to do?” You questioned your best friend, Liam. A mischievous glint in your eye, a smirk written on your lips and intoxication running through your veins.

“Hm, truth,” Liam chuckled, his head turning to face you. The two of you were currently lying on your double bed at two am, various empty bottles and cans of alcohol littering your room which you had stopped trying to hide an hour and a half into the night. Liam lying on his back, his arms propping his head up from behind, which also made his muscles look so fine from where you were sitting - not that you would ever tell him that, his ego was already big enough, you thought.

He was looking up at your ceiling, whilst you were lying on your stomach, your arms propping you up as you gazed down at your best friend of years, whom you may have completely and utterly fallen in love with over the past year and a half.

You pretended to think for a minute before speaking up with a cheeky grin, “who do you like?”

Liam scoffed playfully, taking one hand out from behind his head and nudged you lightly. “What are we, ten years old?”

You feigned shock; a gasp escaping past your lips as you shoved him back. “Excuse you, I tried my best. Now answer the question, Dunbar.”

You noticed Liam’s hesitancy; a zestful smirk presented itself back on your face. “Unless it’s me,” You flipped your hair over your shoulder and blew him a kiss, accompanied with a flirty but joking wink.

Liam suddenly became profoundly flustered, his eyes darting away from yours and filtered everywhere else except towards you. “Wha- No! No, it’s not you.” He choked out, his cheeks flushing at your teasing.

Your heart dropped at his statement, the feeling strange to you. You’d never felt like that before and it scared you. Disappointed crept up in you but deep down you knew anyway; it would never be you. You knew that Liam had always seen you two as strictly platonic and it hurt because you saw him as so much more than that.

You somehow managed to keep the same grin on your face the entire time, pushing down the unwanted feelings, you picked up your half empty can and chugged the rest of it so fast that even you were surprised. 

“Who is it then?” You persisted, throwing the can over your shoulder and hearing it land somewhere behind you. 

Liam’s eyes widened considerably at your query and you sat there, painfully waiting for his response. He coughed lightly, his cheeks reddening once again and you raised your eyebrow in his direction. “Hayden,” He mumbled, his eyes resting back on your ceiling.

You inevitably sucked in a sharp breath, your mouth agape at the name that tumbled from his lips. “My sister?” You croaked out; trying not to make it obvious that you were upset was difficult as you felt your eyes stinging but you adamantly pushed the tears back down. You wouldn’t cry over something like this, and you definitely wouldn’t cry about it in front of Liam.

“Uh, yeah,” Liam gave you a small smile and a shrug of his shoulders.

“Oh,” You whispered with a small nod of your head. Liam took another swig of his drink and you couldn’t stop the negative thoughts from swimming around in your toxic mind. What did Hayden do differently? Why her? You weren’t even aware that your sister and your best friend had been hanging out together when you weren’t present. What did she have that you didn’t?

You knew that the sudden sadness that filled you up wasn’t the alcohol talking, you loved him and that terrified you to no extent, he was your first love but you weren’t his and that squeezed at your heart strings tortuously. And if that wasn’t a big enough kick in the face, you had even less of a chance to be with him than before. In fact, you had practically no chance at all now, because he liked your god-damn sister.

Well, shit.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N), come on!” You heard his voice through the heavy rain. You heard the desperation laced in his tone. You heard his shoes harshly slapping against the pavement as he ran to catch up with your fleeing body.

“Will you just wait for a second, please?!” He shouted from somewhere behind you but you ignored his pleas. A shiver crept over you as you pulled the sleeves of your oversized jumper further down your ice-cold hands; your long hair whipping back against the determined rain drops as you sped up.

It had been about a week since Liam’s confession and at first, you had been subconsciously acting strange around him and he immediately noticed, of course. He confronted you about it and you blamed your time of the month. It was a lie. But, it was after that, that you realised that you’d rather continue being best friends with Liam than avoid him for liking your sister and eventually loose the only friendship that seriously meant something to you.

But then Friday, today, came around. The day started out alright, then got progressively worse as the hands on the clock ticked away. Liam had invited you over for your weekly movie night and you agreed instantly, the butterflies inside of you coming alive as he smiled brightly at your answer.

Although, when you got to Liam’s house, you realised that he’d left out that someone else was joining the two of you for the night.

“Hayden? What’re you doing here?” Your eyes widened at your sister perched on top of Liam’s unmade bed, her hair curled to perfection.

“Am I not allowed to be here?” She asked, venom weaving like a python through each word. The both of you had always had a typical sister relationship, you’d do anything to piss her off and she’d do anything to make you cry; it was how sisters worked. Sometimes the two of you giggled over boys in movies and tv shows and did each others makeup, and sometimes, not.

“Did I say that?” You snapped; jealousy bubbled up inside you.

Hayden rolled her eyes, “Liam invited me. Is there a problem with that?”  

You had a major problem with that, but you clamped your mouth shut momentarily and dropped onto his bed, getting comfortable with the pillows. You were sure that Hayden could feel the tension that was building up in the room, but you didn’t care.

“No.” You muttered eventually with a roll of your eyes. “Why would I have a problem with Liam, my best friend, can I just say, inviting you, my sister- whom he’s never really hung out with, to our movie night which has been established since the start of freshman year and was strictly just for us because you specifically told me that it was stupid and that having weekly movie nights were lame.” You huffed, clenched your jaw when you realised that you had just raised your voice at her and probably said a little too much. If you didn’t look like a jealous freak before, you certainly did now -you thought, silently cursing at yourself for snapping under her pressured taunts.

Hayden bit her lip, stifling a laugh and you backtracked quietly, looking down at the floor in shame. “No, I don’t have a problem with that.” You said shortly, trying to contain the frustration growing in the pit of your stomach.

“Are you sure about that?” She chuckled, the smirk on her lips making you roll your eyes in annoyance.

“Yes, Hayden. I’m sure. Why would I?” 

Hayden scoffed, “Because of what you told me,” Her tone laced with amusement and you sat up abruptly, your eyes narrowed down on her petite figure in anger.

“I didn’t tell you anything,” You lied through clenched teeth, you’d nearly forgotten that Liam was just downstairs getting the snacks together, not that that would change anything because he had super hearing and could still hear this conversation as clearly as if he were in the room.

“Don’t deny it, (Y/N), I remember. Don’t you? Maybe I could remind you,” She smiled innocently over at you but you knew that it was anything but innocent, you knew what she was doing and you weren’t going to let her.

“I don’t need reminding because I didn’t tell you anything. Let’s leave it at that.” You glared venomously at your sister.

“Oh, so you don’t remember? You don’t remember telling me that everything Liam’s around, you get butterflies? Or how everytime he comes closer, you get so nervous and just want to blurt out how you feel about him. Or about those times when you’re sitting in class and can’t stop looking at the clock because you know that he’s standing right out there waiting for you.” She started, laughing mockingly at you as she stood up with a bounce, her eyes sly as she stalked closer to you.

“Stop it.” You spat, the anger you felt for her nearly spilling over the top as you neared her but her taunts didn’t end.

“Maybe you remember when you told me that whenever he hugs you, you just want to stay in his arms for as long as possible because it makes you feel the safest you’ve ever felt. How about when you said that you’re scared he’s going to find a better best girl friend whose prettier and funnier and you’re scared he’s going to forget about you. Hah, maybe the time when you said you see him standing down the hall, and you cannot breathe until you’re with him because he makes everything better. Oh, surely you remember when you told me that you really liked him. Then a couple months later, what did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything. Just stop.”

“You didn’t say anything?” She repeated in feign confusion. “I’m pretty sure you did. And you know, it’s funny because you’re trying so hard to forget, I can tell.” She shook her head, hilarity etched on her smirk.

“Why is that so funny?!” You shouted exasperatedly, your eyebrows furrowed in despair as you determinedly pushed down the oncoming tears of rage but also the feeling of betrayal. You told Hayden those things out of confidence, she’s your sister, she’s supposed to look out for you, to be there for you. Not throw it all back in your face just because you had a stupid argument.

“Why are you doing this?!” You asked; a slight desperation to your query. Your voice bouncing off the walls loudly but quickly dispersing when Hayden’s laughter rang through your ears.

“What was it? Oh yeah, I remember. You told me-”

“Shut up!” An unexplained anger filled you as you cut her off abruptly, your hand coming down to slap your sister with bitterness but the snarl on your lips frantically vanished when she snatched your wrist just centimetres away from her cheek.

“You love him.” She spoke; her voice quiet as she stared menacingly into your glazed eyes filled with unshed tears, your jaw clenched as you stared right back at her before yanking your wrist back from her harsh grip.

“What?” You heard a gasp from behind you and you jumped, startled. Your head whipping alarmingly around at the sound, your mouth fell agape when you saw Liam standing in the doorway, his eyes wide with shock.

“I-I…” You stuttered out, struggling to get the words out as your heart continuously pounded in your chest. The air felt like it got seemingly thinner as you turned back to Hayden, the smirk on her lips taunting you slowly as you shook your head in disbelief that your own sister would do that to you.

“I have to go,” You croaked out, the first tear making its trek down your heated cheek as you snagged your bag up from Liam’s unmade bed, hastily pushing past his frozen figure before he could stop you and cascading down the stairs almost as fast as your tears were falling, a broken sob escaping past your lips.

She knew how you felt; she knew that you loved Liam. You’d told her everything about that situation and yet there she was, teasing you about it, making you feel like absolute shit for falling so naively for your best friend.

So now here you are, running away from the boy whom you loved, his voice calling out your name through the pouring rain.

“(Y/N)! Look at me!” His voice seemed closer than before and you tried to speed up even more but abruptly fell to a stop when Liam grabbed onto your hand, spinning you around to face him.

“Why?!” You cried, your voice cracking in despair as you stared into his blue eyes in defeat, “So you can humiliate me too?!” Your eyebrows furrowed in distress, tears still running down your cheeks but blended into the raindrops that were landing on your cold skin.

“No, I would never do that to you.” He spoke softly, his eyes filled with concern as he focused on your crumbling persona.

He grabbed your hand once again and spoke up before you could protest, “I heard everything that Hayden said and I know that you didn’t want me to know any of it because I told you that I liked her more than a friend but I need to tell you something-”

“You don’t need to explain it, Liam. Okay, I understand that you like her and that you’ll never look at me in that way. I can’t force you to like me and I get that. But all of what Hayden said, it was all true. Ever since the start of freshman year, I tried to make the feeling disappear but it kept coming back and in the end, I couldn’t get rid of it at all. I told Hayden because I was never aware that you two had a thing. I want you to be happy and for a long time, I-I thought that maybe, just maybe, that it would be with me. But it’s not and so I tried, I really tried to get over you… A-and I guess I’m just really sorry, because I-I don’t think you understand how hard it is to stop loving you…” 

Liam stood before you, not saying a word, an unreadable expression written on his face. You looked up at him through your wet lashes, your stomach dropping when you took in his response, silence. “I’m sorry.” You croaked out, the realisation of the situation hitting you hard. You turned away, taking your trembling bottom lip between your teeth. 

“(Y/N),” He whispered, catching you before you walked away. He held your face gently in between his two hands, his eyes fixed onto your glassy ones.

“It’s not Hayden. It was never Hayden. It’s you.” He mumbled contently, his eyes shining with what you identified as happiness, a small smile on his smooth lips.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you peered at him, “I-I don’t understand,” You spoke quietly, your body emotionally drained from all the crying. 

“I lied about Hayden.” He confessed and your eyes widened, a trace of a smile on yours lips at his statement. Relief flooded through you in waves, the feeling of a weight on your chest was suddenly lifted and you felt like you were finally able to breathe again.

“Why?” You asked softly and he shuffled even closer to you, his warmth spreading through you like a wildfire.

“Because I was hiding how I really feel.” His words were faint as he brushed his thumb across your cheek tenderly, wiping away the resting tears from previously. “About you,” He added in a low voice and you felt your stomach explode with the familiar butterflies, your eyes shining with elation and content.

“How do you really feel about me?” A small smile rested sweetly on your lips at the proximity of the two of you. Your tongue subconsciously ran across your bottom lip and you noticed Liam’s blue eyes dart towards your action before meeting back at your (y/e/c) eyes.

“I’m in love with you,” He breathed out, his breath fanning against your parted lips. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding in, your eyes glistening with happiness. But before you could respond, Liam’s lips were on yours in seconds, moving in sync with one another as the rain continued to heave down on the both of you. 

You weaved your arms loosely around his neck and one of his hands left your cheek and went to your waist, where he gently moved you even closer to himself as your fingers ran through his wet hair. 

It was a total cliche moment. The rain coming down in cold drops, hitting your skin but you didn’t care. Your whole body felt like it was on fire, your skin tingling with euphoria as your lips moved against his. If you’d said you had never deamt of that moment before, you’d be lying, expect it was so much better than you thought it would be. 

Eventually, you both ran out of air and pulled away slowly. Your forehead resting against his, you opened your eyes only to find the familiar baby blue already gazing at you lovingly.

You sighed in bliss as Liam’s thumb ran gently across your cheekbone; you closed your eyes and leant into his tender touch. “God, I’m so in love with you,” He repeated, a loving smile appearing on his face as he admired you. 

You jokingly rolled your eyes with a captivating laugh, “Took your time,” You grinned when his laugh rang through your ears. “Just joking, I love you,” You pulled him into another sweet kiss, your soft lips making him sigh gratefully. It felt great to be able to freely say how you truly felt.

You ran a hand through your dripping wet hair, the cold only just hitting you as you shivered, goosebumps appearing on your skin. Liam wrapped his arms around you, a content smile written on his lips. “Yeah, you better. I didn’t just stand in the pouring rain for this long and probably caught hypothermia and about six other illnesses for nothing.”


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Anal Sex Masterlist

Links Last Checked: July 26th, 2017

A Little Bit More - gorgeousdan

Summary: Phil’s trying to edit his new video and all his baby wants to do is play.

An Incredibly Gorgeous Innocent Boy (Erm, Man) - gorgeousdan

Summary: Dan Howell is being followed by a man who can fuck him better than his boyfriend can. (Alright, so maybe it’s Phil. And maybe the two of them are roleplaying in an old house. And maybe Dan finds this very hot. Maybe.)

Anything For You (ao3) - ramonaspeaks

Summary: Dan is on medication that makes it difficult to orgasm. Phil takes it as a personal challenge.

Bet My Life (Against You) (ao3) - wordsongs

Summary: (slightly sexual drunk) Dan makes a bet that Phil will never like him/kiss him no matter what he does. I leave you to let the hilarity and chaos ensue. Bonus: if you include hot jealous Phil.

Coming Home (ao3) - phansparent

Summary: Dan is ready for his pleasure now that they’ve left the BBC party. His desire is so strong, he may not even make it home before he needs Phil to touch him…Phil has to give Dan a bath once they get home.

Definitely Cherry - analester

Summary: Dan finds a dildo in Phil’s room and cannot stop thinking about it even though they’re “just friends”.

Dressing In The Dark (ao3) - phansparent

Summary: It’s Dan’s birthday, and he wants a quickie with Phil while his birthday party is going on in the lounge.

Frustration (ao3) - ramonaspeaks

Summary: Dan has surgery on his wrists and tries to cope with temporarily not having use of his hands.

Glass and Patron - lestrs-phil

Summary: Phil and pj are friends that run a record shop together, dan is an 18 year old customer that wears jeans too tight, pops his gum too loudly, and comes by the shop to look at records without purchasing them. featuring frustration, athirstyphil, ateasingdan andd&p fucking to fka twigs’ new album.

Just Moved In - phandothedo

Summary: Dan and Phil have just moved into their new house. Phil goes downstairs to get the final box and comes upstairs to his horny boyfriend.

Quiet - analester

Summary: One of their brothers comes to stay so they have to be really quiet.

Something New - analester

Summary: Dan comes across something new and decides to use it in the bedroom with Phil.

When Bae Says He’s Home Alone - chocolatesaucelester

Summary: Dan hasn’t seen his boyfriend Phil in two weeks, and let’s just say their date night gets a little interrupted.

You Were The Song Stuck In My Head - almoat

Summary: Phil likes to shower his baby boy, Dan, in gifts and pleasures.

Dark Thanksgiving: The Fear Turkey

Context: This is from a weekly Shadowrun campaign that I participate in over Skype and Roll20. Our regular game master had to throw in the towel for the night due to illness, so one of our players came up with a fun run on the spot that involved us hunting magical, fire breathing turkeys for Thanksgiving. For the purposes of explanation, the players are Luke (Rogue), Demi (Razer Girl), Sybil (Mage), Flame (The GM), and Trug (Troll Mystic Adept [also me])

We have been in combat with these turkeys and managed to kill three of them, leaving one left that I have already done some damage to in a previous turn. (Slight disclaimer, we go in and out of character a lot in mid sentence)

Flame (GM): Trug, you did damage to him, didn’t you?

Trug (Me): Yes I did.

Flame: Ok, so, he’s still up, but he is wobbling very badly.

Trug: Can we keep him? He is the most badass turkey; let’s keep him.

Some laughter, and a solid “No” from Luke follow.

Luke: That’s 5G’s right there; we kill him.

Trug: We can domesticate him. 

Luke: He is worth 5G’s.

Trug: That is not a lot of money. 

Demi: Hey, if Trug can tame the awakened turkey; we have three, I mean, that’s enough. That’ll feed everybody, cause these f***ers are big. If he wants to keep this guy, why don’t we let him?

More laughter.

Trug: Please? (to the other players)

Flame: (to Trug) Do you want to make an Animal Handling check and tame the turkey?

Trug: (Realizing I have a 1 dice pool in Animal Handling) Oh…f***….uh….that’s not going to go over very well….

Demi: Luke could help, he could support.

Luke: I’m the one saying kill it.

Laughter

Trug: Please?

Demi: I can help him! It would be so awesome. It’d be like having a battle buddy.

Trug: And I NEED a battle buddy!

Demi: I have an Animal Handling of 2, I will support.

Sybil: Trug, I can get you a battle buddy. I can get you a pet spirit.

Trug: I. Want. A fire breathing. Fear. Turkey.

Outburst of laughter.

Sybil: I can make that happen.

Trug: No you cannot!

Demi: He wants THIS fire breathing fear turkey; GM, please, for the sake of hilarity, and in the holiday spirit, can we please just give him the turkey?

Flame: I’ll tell you what. You can give me a First Aid check to stabilize it, cause as it stands, it will bleed out.

Two minutes of rolling and calculating later…

Flame: You may now make an Animal Handling test at +4, and Luke, you may assist if you wish.

Demi: I’ll assist.

Sybil: I would like to assist as well.

Trug: Please, Luke?

Commence support rolls, Luke has still not agreed to assist. Rolls are being post-edged to better the outcome of the support.

Trug: Luuuuke?

Luke: ……..

Trug: Luuuuke?

Luke: ……..

Trug: Luuuuke?

Flame: (At Luke) Hello?

Luke: Not happenin’.

Demi: He’s not helping you with the turkey.

Luke: No! I see 5G’s. I see money and possibly, you know, getting on (benefactor)s good side.

Trug: Pleeeeeaaassse?

Sybil: Luke, you’re a millionaire.

Demi: Yeah! Why are you bitching?

Trug: I have less money than everyone here! PLEASE!?

Some laughter and resignation later, I decide to just roll Animal Handling with the support I have.

Trug: 5? (outcome of my roll)

Flame: 5? Ok…alright, would you like to describe how you try and tame the savage beast?

Uncontrollable laughter

Flame: Note that I only said try. I will tell you if it works after.

Trug: Being that I’m wearing a traditional troll hunter’s loincloth, I slowly bring my hands out to show it that I mean it no harm, and I slowly reach out to touch its beak. (Everyone bursts into more laughter) Also, er, prior to, I get down on my knees to bring myself to its level, reaching my hand forward very slowly to caress its beak.

Demi: That is sooo sweet! Everybody needs a friend!

Trug: All of the sincerity in my face….and my eyes….that I mean it no harm.

Flame: Alright, so, it pauses as it notices that you are not attacking it. It looks you right in the eyes as you stroke its beak the first time. It lets you, it doesn’t attack, and as you get down on your knees, it actually rubs its head against your hand.

Trug: YYYESSSS!!!!

Sybil: *clapping*

Demi: Awwwww!!!

Luke: I thought this run couldn’t get anymore ridiculous….

And that is how my character Trug got a pet fire-breathing, magical turkey named Alucard.

Watch on exoticarmy127.tumblr.com

This is the most hilarous thing I have ever watched in my entire life.


First of all, NAMJOON WAS SO RELATABLE. HE PLAYED OUR ROLE SO WELL. I’M SO IMPRESSED HAHA

Second, Tae Tae’s glasses looks so cute on him!

Third, OKAY JIN DESERVES AN OSCAR FOR PLAYING MULTIPLE ROLES IN THIS DRAMA

Fourth, JUNG HOSEOK YOU PRETTY WOMAN, HE AND NAMJOON WERE SO CUTE!! The fanchant part got me laughing so hard I almost cried. 

Fifth, I want a puppy Jimin PLEASE

Sixth, we all want to sue Yoongi for being so darn cute!!!

And lastly… I CANNOT GET OVER JEON JUNGKOOK’S “HELLO” WTH. And wow #dadgoals to get them tickets to a fan meeting. hahahaha

List of Favourite Richie Interviews

anonymous asked:

what are some of your favorite Richard interviews?! trying to introduce him to my friend and I have a few but need more! :)

External image

Thank you so much for the question, anon!  I will give a sort of “Top Ten” list (in no particular order) of my go-to ones, and will put it under a “read more” so as not to take up too much space on the dash.

Cheers!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Also imagine hux and kylo are really getting into it and they're on some command deck on the ship and kylo has hux pressed up against the window, pants down and hux legs around his hips. Hux is gripping his hair and he's leaving a hicky that will probably last two weeks, he looks up there's a ship at eye level. honestly what would be funnier, someone who belonged to the order who may not know kylos face but know huxs hair or if it was his father or maybe rey, finn, and poe who see them xD

Ahahaha! Oh my god my inbox goes from the purest of filth to hilarity in 0.72 seconds.

If it were someone from the Order, their lives are no doubt forfeit. They cannot return to the Finalizer. Ever. If it were anyone from the Resistance, I bet Kylo’s going to try using the Force to crush their necks, and Hux is probably scrabbling for his comm so he can order the canons fired.

Either way, whoever saw them together is no doubt going to need therapy.