he is perfect though

Hands To Myself

Roughly inspired by Hand to Myself by Selena Gomez. 
Just a side note that I really can’t write smut, I feel incredibly weird so I do apologize for the cliff hanger ;)

Can’t keep my hands to myself
No matter how hard I’m trying to
I want you all to myself
You’re metaphorical gin and juice

I mean I could but why would I want to?


It was convenient that Tom and [Y/N] lived right across the street from one another. It meant that they could just walk over and not have to worry about the awful London traffic. Or even that if they drank a little too much, their home was just a few feet over. It was great. What wasn’t convenient was that Tom and his best mate, Harrison, always, like clockwork played basketball every morning. And [Y/N] had the front row seats with her window facing the cul-de-sac they played on. 

[Y/N] had never been a sexual person. She just kept her hands in her lap and behaved like a good girl but ever since she had starting dating Tom, it was getting a lot harder to maintain the proper ladylike persona her parents had raised her to have. It seemed that even the simplest movements Tom would make would send her senses into overdrive and force her to have the mind of horny thirteen year old boy. And [Y/N] could bet money that Tom had no idea what he was doing to her, he was always such a gentlemen when it came to her personal space. Of course they would cuddle and have make-out sessions but he was always aware of where his hands would be. And [Y/N] loved that for the most part, she was adoring that Tom wasn’t acting out on his hormones and was being respectful of her body because her body wasn’t a piece of property that he could invite himself into whenever he pleased. But, there were days where she wished he would just use all his pent up sexual urges and show her what she did to him. 

And it didn’t help that this morning, Tom was shirtless. The sun was kissing his body and causing every curve and dip of his muscles glisten from the sweat that was covering his upper body. It was a taunt and it was driving her insane. She stood by the window, watching Harrison and Tom play for a few more minutes before she decided that she needed to do something to get the idea of what laid beyond the shorts that were covering the rest of him out of her head. 

Splashing cold water on her face, she looked in the mirror and noticed a small purple mark poking out from her shirt. Wincing, she pulled the collar down to inspect it a little more. She would admit the night before was one of their more friskier nights, Tom had never left a hickey before. It left her flustered and she could bet that seeing Tom this morning made the feelings come back twice as hard. Blowing air out of her mouth, she dug around in her drawer to find some concealer. Even though she was twenty, her parents would freak the hell out that she was engaging in any kind of physical contact with her boyfriend. If she didn’t still live at home, she would have shrugged and went on about her day. 

Dabbing some on until she felt that it was hidden enough, she closed her eyes when she heard the victory yells from Tom. Gripping the counter, she looked at herself. She could feel herself getting hot at the thought of what more could have happened the night before if her parents hadn’t came home so early. Swallowing hard, she told herself to get a grip. 

Walking towards her closet, she threw on some running shorts and a matching sports bra. Reaching around her jacket, she zipped it up halfway. [Y/N] needed to run off her hormones, put something else in her head. Walking into the kitchen to grab a protein bar, she noticed a note from her parents. 

Went shopping at the mall and then going to see a film. After that we’ll be going grocery shopping. Be home right before 6. Send a text if Tom and Harrison will be joining for dinner so I’ll be prepared. xx mom

Plucking the note from the fridge, she laid it on the counter and sent her mother a text saying that most likely Tom and Harrison will be coming over. Four out of the seven days, they normally did. Grabbing a sip of her water, she headed out the door. 

“[Y/N]! Come play with us, Haz needs all the help he can get.” Tom chuckled. 

Walking over towards the two boys who were dripping with sweat, she placed a peck on Tom’s cheek and patted Harrison’s shoulder. “Love to, but I’m going to go run a few miles.” 

“Ew,” Harrison groaned. 

“Ew, yourself.” [Y/N] responded, sticking out her tongue. She turned towards Tom in time to find him rake his eyes over her attire. Biting her lip, she tried to ignore his lingering gaze over her exposed torso. 

“I agree with Harrison, why are you running?” Tom asked, “You could get in your daily exercise right here with me.” He motioned towards the basketball hoop.

[Y/N] really wanted to respond with something inappropriate but decided against it. It was only going to make her situation worse. “I’ll pass, but maybe next time. I’ll see you in an hour.” 

“An hour?! How many fucking miles you plan on running, [Y/N]” Harrison sputtered. 

Shrugging, she started to jog backwards, “However many I can run in an hour, Haz.” Shaking her head, she smiled and blew kisses towards them and turned to face forward and headed off. 


[Y/N] had needed a lot more than an hour to get her mind off of her sexual thoughts about Tom. She had ran for thirty minutes before she slowed to a walk to give her burning legs a rest and in that time, she had made up five million fantasies. All of them ranging from innocent fluffy to extremely fifty shades. After walking for another thirty, she decided to run back to the house. Figuring that Harrison had probably either gone home or knowing that Tom would be spending time with her and went inside to hang out with Sam and Harry. 

Slowing down her pace when she spotted Tom sitting on her porch in the comfy bench her mother had insisted on spending four hundred dollars on. She smiled as she hopped up the steps, “Hey you.” 

Looking up from his phone, Tom smiled back. “Hey yourself. I thought you said you were going to run for an hour? How many miles did you clear?”

Shrugging, [Y/N] unzipped her jacket all the way, fanning herself with her hand. She hated to feel so hot that the only thing she wanted was to peel off her own skin. “I don’t know maybe five or six? I wasn’t tracking it but I reached the fountain and came back.” 

Tom whistled, “Look at you speedy.” He chuckled and got up from the bench to hug her. 

“No, I’m gross.” She whined. 

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he shook his head. “No, never. Impossible.” 

Trying to ignore the skin to skin contact, she pushed him away and rolled her eyes. Reaching into her hidden pocket for the spare key to her house, she unlocked the front door and walked in. “Did Haz go home or is he with the twins?” 

“The twins,” he responded, following her in. 

“So, he’ll be over for dinner too? I was supposed to tell my mom for sure.” 

Tom shrugged, “I dunno. I’ll ask him,” texting Harrison, he slid his phone back into his shorts pockets. 

Chugging some water to cool down, she tossed him a gatorade. “You going to eat dinner with my parents with just that on?” [Y/N] teased. 

Leaning against the counter, he crossed his arms, the well-defined muscles flexing and tightening made [Y/N] lick her lips. “Are you going to wear that to dinner with your parents?” He squinted his eyes, pushing off the counter, he walked towards her in just four steps. His thumb rubbed against the spot on her neck where she had covered with concealer. “Bloody Hell, your father is going to kill me.” He muttered. 

“What?” 

Tapping your neck, he chuckled. “I’ve given you a hickey. I guess the sweat from your run rubbed the makeup off.” 

Chewing on her lip, she shrugged. “I’ll cover it back up when I get dressed. No big deal, they will never know.” 

“Good because that is not a conversation I want to have with your father.” He shuddered at the thought of being confronted by one of the seriously intimidating men he had ever come to meet. Tom reminisced to the time where he had first met her father, he was ready to piss himself. 

[Y/N] shook her head and laughed, knowing exactly what he was thinking about. She could have keeled over and died from laughing so hard at her father and Tom’s first encounter. She had to reassure Tom that her father really did like him after the first few times and he had even told her that he preferred Tom over her past boyfriends. 

“Hey Tom?”

“Yes, love?”

She fidgeted with the bottom of her jacket, running the zipper up and down causing Tom to look at her with a confused look. “How long have we been dating now?”

Tom tilted his head to the side and did the math in his head. “A little over two years, why?”

“Do you not find me sexually attractive?” 

Tom choked on his spit, completely blind sided by her question. “I’m sorry, what?!”

Avoiding his baffled stare, she sighed. “Am I not sexually appealing? Like, is there a reason why we haven’t had sex?” 

Tom seriously couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. He moved in her line of sight, speaking softly, “Hey, look at me.” Waiting until she met him, he smiled softly. “Are you seriously asking me that? If I didn’t find you to be sexy, I wouldn’t have left that hickey on your neck. Of course I find you to be sexy. I find you to be sexy all the time, [Y/N].” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” Tom confirmed, shaking his head at how crazy her question was. He chuckled a little before pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Have I thought about sex with you? Yes. But I, it’s not, I don’t. Sex isn’t just something we do because it feels good, [Y/N]. I want it to be special, meaningful. We’d be sharing ourselves in a more personal way and I might be ready to do that but you might not be.” Cupping her face, he smiled again. “I would never want to pressure you into something because I don’t have to have sex with you to know that I want to be with you. Is it difficult, yes, especially when you wear things like what you have on now.” His eyes trailed down her and then back, “But, I love you for you not for sex or anything else. It would just be an added bonus.” 

[Y/N] couldn’t help but blush at his words. Again, he was always so respectful. “I love you, Holland.” 

“And I love you, [L/N]” He pulled her into a hug, the kind that she melted into. [Y/N] would swear up and down that Tom had different kind of hugs. And the way he was hugging her now was her all time favorite. It made her feel warm and fuzzy inside, almost like she was completely safe and nothing could harm her all while feeling the love radiate from his body. 

Pulling away a little, she took a deep breath. “What if I’m ready now?” 

Tom’s eye sparkled a little as he studied her expression, “Then I’d plan it to be special.” 

“No, like now.” 

Now?” Tom asked in surprise. 

“Yes, like right here, right now.” Wincing and giggling lightly, she shrugged, “Or well in my room, not here in the kitchen, that’d be weird. We eat and cook in here.”

Tom pulled apart from her completely, looking her dead straight in the eyes. “You want to have sex right now? Really? Are you sure, [Y/N].” She could tell he was getting flustered, “What if your parents come home? Or Haz decides to just come over? Don’t you think it’d be more special if I had planned it out to be romantic?”

“I love you, Tom, I really do but when has anything you’ve ever planned romantically gone according to plan?” She raised a brow, waiting for him to answer.

“You have a point….”

She grabbed for his hands, “I think it would be special right now. Don’t think I haven’t notice the looks you’ve been giving me when you think I’m not looking. Isn’t passion what makes it special?” 

“Bloody Hell,” Tom mumbled as he ran a hand over his face. “You’re going to kill me, absolutely kill me.” 

10

favourite rory & logan moments: 22/?

You know what I wanna see in the series?

Tadashi growing up to have his parents taken from him and having to take care of his young brother who’s too young to understand.

We all know Tadashi was the perfect role model for Hiro. Hell, he’s described as the perfect guy. Good-looking, smart, kind-hearted, funny… the best big brother in Hiro’s eyes. The perfect human-being.

But nobody’s perfect at 100%. Nobody has 0 flaws. Daniel Henney said that Tadashi had his bad days in his younger years.

Give me those “bad days”.

Show me Tadashi’s “darker” side. 

Show me young Tadashi grieving the death of his parents. Show me Tadashi having break downs and telling Aunt Cass “I can’t do this” when it comes to take care of Hiro in darker days. Show me Tadashi crying and whishing his parents were here to take care of him and his little brother.

Show me Tadashi showing jealousy towards Hiro’s gift as a genius; despite the fact he supports him fully, he still envies that natural gift. Show me Tadashi expressing that jealousy to Hiro, not realizing until the last minute his selfishness hurt his little brother. Show me Tadashi regretting it and putting more pressure on himself, promising himself he’ll supress that jealousy as best as he can for Hiro.

Show me Tadashi’s teenage years. Show me Tadashi with acne and facial hair, showing that yes, even if he grew up to be attractive, he went through those completely normal phases. Show me Tadashi being rebellious. Show me Tadashi being short-tempered, either with his aunt or his little brother. Show me Tadashi having disagreements with Aunt Cass and telling her a classic, but understandable “NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!” Show me that Tadashi wasn’t always the perfect role model growing up, and put a lot of pressure on himself for Hiro.

Show me Tadashi’s protectiveness. Show me Tadashi hitting himself mentally and guilt-tripping himself when Hiro cries to him about being bullied, and wishing he was there at the moment it happened to do something. Show me Tadashi wishing that everyone could accept his little bro for who he is, but his heart breaks every time Hiro tells him about being bullied. Show me Tadashi seeing red when he witnesses anyone trying to lay a hand on his baby brother. Show me Tadashi shoving one of Hiro’s bullies against the wall and having a fist fight, and being labeled as a “troublemaker” because of his tendency to pick fights with other kids bullying Hiro. Show me Tadashi apologizing to Hiro when the little boy witnesses him in a state of pure anger and violence aimed at the bullies that almost traumatized his little brother. Show me Tadashi being border-line overprotective, with Aunt Cass and later Hiro calling him out on it.

And most importantly, show me that despite the fact Tadashi took a lot of maturity at a young age after his parents’ death, he was still just a kid with a part of his childhood that got taken from him.

Show me that Tadashi wasn’t always the goody two-shoes he became to be until his death, because he was still human.

10

“What is it?”

Hers

And there he stands in all his glory, laughing at something Chris Nolan said to him, a glass of whisky in his hand and his arm around her waist. And all I could do was stand here, from afar, watching them.

“He’ll notice if you keep staring, darling.” Anne handed me a glass of champagne.

“I-I-I was not staring. Just looking how wonderful they are together.” I could feel my face turn red by the second.

“Oh, darling, don’t try to fool yourself, I know you have feelings for him.” She smiled lightly at me. “Actually, I always thought you’re going to be together.”

My smile faltered and I looked at the floor. Silly Y/N, of course Anne knew. Apparently, everybody did! The boys, Gemma, Lou and now Anne. Clearly, I am not very good in hiding my feelings for my best friend. The guy who knows me better than anyone and yet can’t realize how much I adore him.

Harry and I have been friends since we were kids, really. Eventually we went separate ways: He went out to become the biggest celebrity out there and I went to college. Even though we lived in different worlds, we never stopped talking. We’re still best friends even after all this time.

I love him.

But it wasn’t always like this. When we’re younger, our parents used to tell us we would eventually get married. We’re too perfect for each other, that’s something we always knew, even though we didn’t have this types of feeling for each other.

It was in my senior year of college that this said feelings started to show. I spent a few weeks with him and the boys while they’re on tour and suddenly I started to fall for my best friend. If you have seen any movie out there, you would think that the feeling was mutual and we’re happily ever after. Not how things turned out, I’m afraid to tell you. I spent 6 weeks trying to find a way to tell him my feelings, even asked for the boys’ help, but when I was close to figure a way out, he met her. And gosh, how much he adored her. Since the beginning!

You know that stupid line that said when you love someone, you gotta let them go and find their happiness? His happiness was she and I couldn’t stand in the way of that. Even though I knew I loved him more than she could ever love him, it was time for me to set him free.

So I came back. Came to the UK, finished college and found a job I actually like. My life is all put together, as Harry likes to remind me. He’s right, my life is put together, except for my love life. I tried so hard to get over him, to not have feelings for him. I dated, I tried everything I could, but he was always there, in the back of my mind, even when I met my ex-boyfriend, Daniel. We broke up a few months later because he knew I had feelings for my best friend. Poor Dan, such a nice guy and I couldn’t love him.

Harry came back home. And moved in with her, much to my dismay. They’re together for 3 years now and they don’t seem to be breaking up anytime soon. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve thought about telling him, just to get it out of my chest, but I can’t. I cannot ruin this for him. I would rather suffer in silence than ruin his happiness and our friendship.

“Have you thought about telling him?” She asked me while we watched the couple from afar.

“I did.” I whispered. “I just can’t. He’s happy, Anne. He deserves to be happy.”

“My son is a fool, darling. He doesn’t know, but he does have feelings for you. A mother always know and I’m telling you he does. But I understand your side, I just don’t wanna see you both losing time with other people when you could be together!”

I breathed a laugh. Anne was always our biggest supporter, so it’s not a shock to me she would rather me with her son than his actual girlfriend. The poor girl is not a bad girl; she’s just not right for him.

She doesn’t get it how he can be such a morning person, always waking up at a 100%, telling everyone ‘good morning’ in his raspy voice. She thinks its annoying, but the truth is if he doesn’t do this, we’ll go back to sleep and miss his whole day. She doesn’t get his obsession for good health, but if she just asked him about it, she would understand he actually believes that those junk foods can kill you slowly, and he can’t lose anyone in his life, so we all have to eat health food. At least around him. She doesn’t understand how he can feel so down after reading mean comments on the internet, because for her how could The Harry Styles feel anything less than perfect?! He thinks he’s not worth it, even though he truly does deserve everything good that ever happened to him. However, he has insecurities, because by the end of the day, he is just Harry. And all he really wants is cuddles and a few reassurance words that those people are just mean people and are not telling the truth.

She doesn’t know him and a part of me thinks she just doesn’t want to. Yes, she knows what he likes for breakfast, what calms him when his in a bad mood, but she doesn’t know the little things I do.

It’s sad, if you think about it. He’s been with her for 3 years and she doesn’t get him. Maybe that’s why when he needs someone, he runs to me. He runs to my house at 3 A.M just so he could talk about his bad day. She never saw him cry, because he only cries when we’re alone and he can truly show his feelings. I’m the first person he calls when something good or bad happens. I’m his emergence contact in the hospital, I’m his safe place to go when he needs to just take a break. I’m the one who could leave her whole life on hold, just to take care of him when needed.

It’s sad because even thought I am his person, I’m not his and he’s not mine. She has him and I can’t truly express how much I wish that could be me.

“He looks nervous.” I pointed out to Anne.

“I was about to ask you this… Do you know why? He’s been like this for a few weeks now.” She looked deep in thought, trying to find a reason for her son odd behavior.

“I think…” I was interrupted by Louis, who looked out of breath.

“You need to stop him, he will make a terrible mistake, please Y/N, stop him!”

“Louis, what’s going on? What are you talking about? Breathe, Lou.”

“You don’t get it, he’ll…”

“Can I have everyone’s attention, please?” Harry called out from the center of the room. The party quickly died down, waiting for his speech. “I would like to thank you all for coming to my Dunkirk party. It’s so nice to enjoy the movie’s success with all of you, so thank you!”

Everyone around the room clapped and Louis was fussing by side. He looks nervous and I couldn’t understand why.

“As you know this is a special night for me and I wanted to be even more special. Lexa, can you come here, darling?” He asked his girlfriend to join him and I could already feel the tension growing around me. Anne, Louis, Niall, Liam, Lou and Gemma surrounded me and we all were just waiting for something to happen. Anything.

“Lexa, we’ve been together for 3 years next week and I feel so blessed to have you by side. I was smitten with you since the moment I saw you, you can ask Y/N for confirmation.” Everybody laughed a little and I could feel a knot in my through already. “So, in this special date for me and surrounded by friends and family, I would like to ask you…” he got down on one knee. “Will you marry me?”

And just like that my world stopped. I couldn’t hear anything, but I could see her nod and everyone clap for them. I think the boys were talking to me, but I could barely understand what was happening.

He proposed to her.

He is hers.

She is his.

And just like that I realized that all these years loving him, taking care of him, weren’t enough to make him fall for me. I was a silly girl who believed in the fairy tale that everyone thought we would live. I loved him with everything in me, I was always his but he was never mine.

And just like that I ran out of the party, leaving everyone – including the love of my life – behind.

I was always his.

He was never mine.

He was always hers.

*** 

Part 2

It’s been a while, I know, but I hope you’ve liked this. Please, leave me your thoughts about this oneshot, talk to me pleeease. Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language!

All the love, B. 

MASTERLIST

The return of Performing Dean

So, the family is out having breakfast. Remind me again, how long has it been since we’ve seen Dean flirt with a waitress? Yes I know, 12x11, but @mittensmorgul has written a fantastic meta HERE addressing that. 

What’s different this time? 

Wally. 

Wally - Red blooded American hunter. Wally, who sneers at namby pamby nancy boys with soft white hands. Wally, with his beard and his jacket who reminds me a lot of John. And Dean’s performing for him, being daddy’s little hunter boy. 

So Dean tries to flirt with Mandy, using the hammiest possible approach and it fails. And he’s okay with it. Until she shows interest in Cas. Look at the reactions, Sam immediately look at Cas with an uh-oh face. And Dean is just pissed, complete with eye rolling and lips pursing.

Dean’s jealous, and Sam knows it. I say this because some people are already trying to paint Dean getting pissed as him being angry about getting rejected. That is highly OOC for Dean (Jo shot him down and he simply breezed past it) He’s gotten rejected plenty of times with no issue. Dean’s also got rejected by girls who then hit on Sam. He’s always been okay with that. 

But Cas, Cas is different, isn’t he?

Wally is still there though. So Dean can’t pull the possessive jealous husband routine he pulled in 12x10. So what does Dean do? What every insecure person does. 

Lalala I don’t care at all that someone’s flirting with you. I’m going to be magnanimous about it and show how much I don’t care at all hahaha because I don’t care. Not at all. 

Wally nods in approval when Dean mentions Mandy is ‘into’ Cas. Mary shoots the topic down, and Dean tries to play both sides - the macho posturing side that Wally approves of, but Mary clearly doesn’t like it. So he backtracks there (”I’m not objectifying her Mom, this is a teachable moment)

And he’s trying to wink and act like everything’s cool… But it’s not. Dean doesn’t look happy, he looks positively pained. Contrast this to when he took Cas to the brothel. Another teachable moment. Look at how different he looked. 

Sam distracts, and Dean has the perfect chance to forget about it. But he doesn’t. Because even though Cas has been clueless to everything till now, Dean’s still not feeling secure enough to let it go. He can’t act too irritated in front of Wally, so he takes it out on Sam a little, then immediately goes back to bro-bro manly back slapping. And Wally is watching on, nodding and approving everything Dean’s saying - she’ll smell like food. Really, Dean? Are you talking about a girl who’ll appeal to Cas, or you? Why are you fishing so much?

Cas still doesn’t respond. Mary shuts it down again. And that’s the end of that.   

You know, it is surprising that 12x10 and 12x12 both had promos with Jealous!Insecure husband!Dean. It’s alost like their trying to point to something…  

(gif credits to @timetraveldean, @godshipsit, @storywingstiel)