he is legal forever

2

Villa:  Thank you for everything. You’ve made these past couple months, my move back home -
Rosewood:  Fun?  Exciting?
Villa:  Something like that.

College!AU Namjoon
  • major: philosophy 
  • minor: art history 
  • sports: tried to join track but dropped it because lol sports don’t work for clumsy people 
  • clubs: doesn’t have time because he’s a part timer at a tattoo parlor 
  • when he tells people he’s a philosophy major he has the tendency to go off track and talk for a very very long time because there isn’t just one philosophy he’s studying and there isn’t just one favorite philosopher of his and based on time periods and the country- and basically you see the point 
  • people always kinda brush off his major because they’re like “you’re not gonna get a job with a degree in that….” and namjoon is kinda like well….i already have a job
  • he’s referring to his part time job as an tattoo artist at a shop in the city called ‘young forever’. he’s been working there ever since he was legal enough to actually get tattooed because the person who owns it really likes the unique way namjoon draws in black and white 
  • and that’s sorta why he took up art history as a minor recently 
  • he’s just really fascinated by the way art has changed, a lot like philosophy, throughout the ages 
  • and like interestingly enough a lot of his clients comment on how his art kind of shows off these different styles they’ve never seen and he’s always getting kinda flustered like ,,, oh that style?? i learned it in an arts of china class im taking,,,, 
  • and most of them are like you’re in college??? and he’s like yeah and they’re like you don’t look it you’re so mature and namjoon is kinda like thank you and hides the fact that he probably has some cartoon character keychain hanging off his backpack
  • but anyway he’s always tripping over himself when he’s not tattooing like on campus he’s always got textbooks flying out of his bag or pencil cases flying through the air but it’s endearing because like all his books have lots of notes in them
  • and a little unknown secret is that he’s taking an advance math class just for fun because like most people don’t know but his iq is stELLAR and the teacher keeps trying to push for him to switch majors but namjoons kinda like as much as learning equations and solving complex math problems is a walk in the park for me, wrapping my head around topics like metaphysics is way more fun sorry
  • so how do you meet super smart tattoo artist philosophy enthusiast namjoon WELL you meet him because you end up in the most sillY situation
  • basically you’re both at the library and you see this tall, slightly intimidating boy who’s dressed in black from head to toe with a velvet collar around his neck reading a heavy looking book titled ‘Epistemology: A Contemporary Introduction to the Theory of Knowledge’ and you’re like 
  • better not mess with him he look smart and like semi-deadly
  • but then you guys ……. reach for your backpacks that you set down and like you’re kind of too busy looking at him in amusement/fear that you…….take …….the wrong ……backpack….
  • and you only notice it’s the wrong one when you’re already out of the library on the way to your next class and you’re like “this bag is super heavy” and you set it down and open it to see four textbooks that are not your textbooks and one them happens to be well…..’Epistemology: A Contemporary Introduction to the Theory of Knowledge.’ and you’re like
  • oh no
  • but when you run to back to the library the boys not there anymore and you’re like panicking because well 1) your homework and study materials are in your bag and you need them for finals that are coming up but also 2) that boy doesn’t look like the friendliest person and when you have to give back this bag,,,,,,,,are you gonna possibly also get a curse put on you or something ???/
  • but like in the midst of your freaking out your brains also like: but hey he was cute and you’re like sh U T up @ yourself because that’s not the point here
  • so you comeback to the library around the same time the next day and you don’t see goth boy whose name you figure out is namjoon seeing as though it’s neatly written in each textbook and you’re like oh god im never gonna get my stuff back
  • but then someone taps your shoulder and you turn around and there he is,,,,,in another all black outfit except this one shows off his arms and ok wait is that a tattoo on his upper left shoulder oh it’s cool- but you like steady yourself and swallow so you don’t give off that you’re kinda scared and you’re like 
  • “sorry for mixing up our bags!!! it was a dumb move on my part haha!! here’s your bag though i didn’t touch or mess anything up!!! please,,,,,just don’t be mad,,,,,”
  • and you don’t even notice it but like your shoulders are quaking and you don’t hear an instant reply and you’re like time to Accept Death but then the boy’s stuttering and he’s like “no-  no it was my fault, im awfully clumsy im always getting people into my troubles - i should apologize.”
  • and you’re kinda shellshocked that a person who looks so intimidating is so …….soft for lack of a better word
  • even though his voice is pretty deep and like you’re not complaining he’s got the whole cute goth, deep voice thing going and like half your brain is like: im into it and the other half is like: we should just give him the bag and run even though he’s being so……..civil and nice
  • but basically you kind of gather your thoughts and you’re like “ahh no no don’t apologize, it was just a mistake,,,,” and you like reach out for your backpack as he takes his 
  • and like you know it should just end there your little run in with philosophy major namjoon but your curiosity takes the better and before he goes you clear your throat and kinda tell him you have a question
  • and namjoons pretty shocked this time because usually people go out of their way to avoid conversation with him let alone ask him things but he’s like go ahead and you point to his bag and you’re like
  • “i don’t want to seem rude but are you a math major or a philosophy major?”
  • namjoon kinda blinks twice at you before letting out a long, deep chuckle and you’re like ???? and he’s like “philosophy. the math is for fun.”
  • and you’re like FOR fUn??? and he shrugs like yeah it’s my elective. and you’re kinda looking at him with wide eyes like no way who does math as an elective and he’s like well i do haha
  • and before you know it you and namjoon are standing in the library having a full on length talk about your majors and minors and classes and slowly that intimidating first image of him disappears and in front of you is a sweet boy who really really has a lot to say on the topic of like aristotle and it’s just????? way cuter than you imagine
  • and the next thing you know it’s from total strangers, to intrigued-about-each-other strangers, to you exchanging numbers and deciding to meet up for coffee before class next week because out of everyone on campus you’re the first person to take his rants seriously and he’s the first person to show genuine interest in your own theories about the world
  • and when you do meet up to get coffee namjoon’s got a sketchpad under arm and you’re like “so you’re into art too, not just the history??” and he’s like “im drawing up some sketches for clients so..” and you’re like “clients?” and he’s like “oh i tattoo part time, yeah i always forget to tell people that”
  • and you swear you would have dropped your coffee (if it wasnt for the fact that coffee on college campuses is so expensive so it’d be a waste of five bucks) but yeah you’re like 
  • nO way a tattoo artist?? that’s amazing what else can you do are you hiding like the ability to turn invisible from me?? and namjoon laughs like i wish but no that’s practically impossible because- but you put up a hand to stop the rant and you ask if you can see the sketches 
  • and as you look over his drawings in wonder you don’t see the way namjoons eyes fixate on your fingers, then up your arm, then the slope of your shoulder, your neck, the back of your head, your cheeks, your eyes, and then your lips 
  • and namjoon knows that his fascination with everything comes from their details and history, from philosophy to art to practicing tattooing, he’s precise with all of it
  • and in that one moment he’s precise in etching your image into his mind and even when you run off because you’re late for class
  • he keeps your whole body in his mind for the rest of the day, the week, the month
  • until finally after lots of coffee meetups and long conversations through text and face-to-face about big philosophical questions about the meaning of life
  • namjoon asks you to come by to the shop after closing so he can talk to you
  • and in the dim light of the moon, outside on the corner of where the shop is, namjoon asks if you’ll go out with him because quite honestly he’s never had someone so stimulating as you ever
  • and as much as your intellect and friendship are valuable, there are aHEm other ways he’d also like you two to AHEM stimulate each other
  • and you blush duh because out of all the words to use he uses freaking stimulate to talk about the fact that he wants to make out with you as his significant other
  • but ofc you say yes and wrap your arms around him because,,,,,,,you wanna makeout with him too (you have for a long time even the first time you saw him and he kinda scared you but also like kinda turned you on too LOL)
  • and you guys become this adorable on campus couple that everyone knows because you two passionately talk and sometimes even debate over just about everything 
  • and namjoon has a high iq but like it never scares you from challenging some of his points of view and it’s never boring between you two like EVER
  • and you stop by the shop more often with like lunch or just to get a couple of kisses from namjoon before you head back to campus
  • and all the other artists there are like teasing the heck out of him since he’s the youngest and you two are the ‘cute kids in love’ as everyone keeps cooing 
  • they also kinda try to convince you to get a tattoo but you’re shaky on the idea and namjoon is like “id never push you into something you’re not comfortable with” but honestly the idea of having his art on you ,,,, is kinda nice 
  • but anyway you’re always like namjoon how  do you carry around like ten textbooks with you and he’s kinda like i have no clue but maybe they’re the reason i keep tripping and tipping over things and you laugh like heh maybe 
  • but you’re also like stop getting yourself hurt because your body is too important to me now for it to keep getting bruised and namjoon kinda flusters at the comment and it’s cute
  • tall flustered goth hehU 
  • but yes after a couple of months in you’re over at his dorm and his roommate jin is out with other friends and you’re like laying with your head on namjoons lap when he takes a marker and is like “i know you’re not sure about a tattoo but i wanna try something” and he takes your hand and starts outlining something on your skin
  • and you look over and you see that it’s a beautifully simple daffodil and you’re like “what that flower?” and namjoon kind of hesitates before looking at you and he’s like “the scientific name for it is narcissus jonquilla and in the language of flowers it means love,,,,,,and,,,,,,desire,,,,,,and basically it means ,,,,,”
  • and you he doesn’t even have to keep talking you like pull him against you and in the end it’s just a mess of your clothes flying off and the marker falling out of namjoons hands as his fingers tangle in your hair
  • and it’s so natural even though at some points his limbs are too long and your elbows bump or your knees hit his but it doesn’t matter
  • because the whole time he’s smiling against the side of your neck and you’re holding him
  • and namjoon’s obsession with details is finally over because he’s seen all of you now and all of you is locked in his heart forever 
  • and when you wake up with his long body stuck between the sheets you can only laugh and plant kisses up his chest as he mumbles something about how philosophy about love is nothing compared to actually experiencing it 
  • and it’s cute from then on out you and namjoon just laying around in bed as he talks about what theories he’s learned or you two just go out and walk through the city with no plan in mind because your company is enough for each other
  • but also like finals come around and you hit the books like crazy and so does namjoon and it exhausts you both that you just slump against each other out in the hallway
  • and jin is just like “you two need to eat something it’s been three days” and you and namjoon are just incoherrent blabbering and jin is like “you two are so smart when it comes to books but other than that you are two children smh let’s go we’re all going to the dorm and im making ramen and neither of you can say no.”

find college!au vixx (here)
and please look forward to the rest of college!bts coming soon~ 

Nokkuso: This alleged affair with Mrs Akane has been going on for…  

Shirofuku: Two years.

Nokkuso: and your first name is.. 

Shirofuku: Yuuta.

Nokkuso: and your last name is… 

Shirofuku: Shirose.

Nokkuso: and your boyfriend’s name is… 

Shirofuku: Tomitake.

Everyone: *gasps*

Shirofuku: Sorry, I misunderstood! You said boyfriend I thought you said best friend. Tomi is my…best friend. 

Tomitake, from the back of the room: YOU LYING BASTARD!

2

“It’s too late for mercy.   I’ll destroy you.”

Sorry for the lack of posting.  I was reminded yesterday why humans are so much more scarier than Sephiroth to me.  Let’s just say he’d ‘dismiss humans without prejudice.’  In the legal world, that means dismissed forever, never to return.  In layman’s terms, it means regardless if you are Caucasian, Asian, African American, Hispanic, any gender, religion, political background whatever, Sephiroth will destroy you.  Have fun!  :D

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

I’ve recently raved about Pitch (please go and watch btw, I NEED A SEASON 2!!), and now I’m going to rave about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I had watched the pilot when it first aired and while I had mildly enjoyed it, I wasn’t really hooked. Still, it was a show that I had on my back burner for when I had nothing else to watch. Well, that time finally came. I binge-watched the whole thing and I want to yell from the rooftops how amazing this show is! If you can get over the title, you’ll be rewarded. There’s so much that I love about CEG! The main character is deeply flawed and her whole arc is coming to terms with her flaws and overcoming them. She’s deceitful and misguided and self-centered and selfish, but she’s also a poor soul who is struggling with depression and mental illness and who strives to make herself happy. She has the most beautiful friendship with one of her work mates, which is almost like a love story? It’s so real because that’s how women experience friendship with each other. Fighting with your bestie is worse than a breakup, and this show nails that. There’s this cool dude who’s the boss and is super sweet and the best dad ever, and after divorcing his wife and meeting some new people thanks to Rebecca he realizes he’s bisexual? He actually SINGS about his bisexuality, and it’s the most beautiful song ever? Anyway, there’s so much to love about this show, but the thing I like the most is how real it is in a way that few shows are. What’s more, it’s real while being funny. It’s real about tough things - like self-loathing and depression - and it nails exactly how we feel when we are going through all of that stuff but it makes you laugh about it! Which is so precious! And yes, sometimes it’s just ridiculously funny. Anyway, to give you a taste of why I can’t get over how awesome this show is, I made a list of my favorite songs so far…

1. You Stupid Bitch – An ode to self-loathing and self-hatred

You ruined everything
You stupid bitch
You ruined everything
You stupid, stupid bitch
You’re just a lying little bitch who ruins things
And wants the world to burn
Bitch
You’re a stupid bitch
And lose some weight

2.  Oh My God I Think I Like You

My feelings get stronger every day

I’m like a little girl, not in a role-playing way

Are there condoms that can prevent these feelings?

Is there spermicidal lubricant that can kill

The fluttering in my heart?

Is there an IUD

That can stop the image of you and me

Getting married on a hillside, surrounded by ducks

And then we get into a rowboat?

3. I Could If I Wanted To - because it’s safer to half-ass everything than try…

Whoop-dee-frickin’-doo, a happy dad

With his big dad calves and his stupid baseball cap

And his T-ball shirt and dumbass son

Throwin’ a ball, like it’s so important to know how to throw a ball

Whoop-dee-frickin’-doo!

Who cares about throwin’ a ball or havin’ a kid?

It’ll get ya nowhere in life

Not like gettin’ anywhere matters

Although I guess it does if you care

Which I don’t!

But I could! But I don’t!

But I could if I wanted to, yeah!

4. Sexy Getting Ready Song - WATCH THIS. There’s nothing sexy about getting ready for a gal!

God, what
This is how you get ready? This is some
This is horrifying, like a scary movie or something
Like some nasty-ass patriarchal bullshit
You know what? I got to go apologize to some bitches
I’m forever changed after what I just seen

5. Face Your Fears - yeah, but just… maybe… don’t do what Paula is telling you to?

If you’re scared of bees (If you’re scared of bees)

Get stung! (Don’t have an EpiPen ready)

Reach for the stars (Literally touch the stars)

Face your fears! (Stars aren’t that hot)

Face your fears (Face your fears)

Join the Marines (Join the Marines)

Swim right after eating (Don’t wait 30 minutes)

Cause you are amazing (So amazing)

Wipe back to front (Don’t wipe front to back)

Drop out of school (School is stupid)

6. Gettin’ Bi - BEST BISEXUAL ANTHEM EVER!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUDab9piv_U

Now some may say
“Oh, you’re just gay
Why don’t you just go gay all the way?”
But that’s not it
‘cause bi’s legit
Whether you’re a he or a she
We might be a perfect fit
And one more thing
I tell you what;
Being bi does not imply that you’re a player or a slut
Sure, I like sex
But I’m no ho
I take things slow
Until I feel at ease

7. I’m A Good Person - when you want to believe you’re good but you’re kind of a douche?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4hh1YhDfbA

I’m a good person all over the place
I cum my good right into your face
Everybody says I’m one good ass chick
And if you don’t think so you can lick
My balls. Which, again, are filled with good

(…)

I’m a good, such a good, real good person
I’m a good person through and through
I’m a good, such a good, real good person
Lemme hear you say it too
Say it. Say it! Or I’ll kill your husband
I’ll do it! I’ll gut him like a fish
You’re a good person
Aw, thank you

8. I Gave You a UTI - Weird topic for one of the catchiest songs in the show, IMO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ytnBRjmDXs

I’m so good at sex
Your maidenship got wrecked!
My penis is the reason you may die, die, die!
I gave you a UTI!

9.  Settle for Me - because we’ve all almost begged someone to love us…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtb-ZPOkMyI

So won’t you settle for me
Come on and settle for me
Say yes or no before I choke on all this swallowed pride
I have no problem being picked out from the bottom
If he’s your broken condom, I’m Plan B!
So lower those expectations and settle for me

10. You Go First - when we’re in a fight with our besties and we want to apologize… after they apologize first…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzHJlOmuYsY

So… go ahead and say

you’re kind of sorry!

‘So I can say… Oh, no, no, no please!’

Just like I rehearsed!

If you open the door…

I’ll apologize so much more!

Yes I will… But you go first!

11. We Tapped that Ass - best song about anal sex ever okay?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilztSh5Cr2E

On the table you were
willing and able!

On the ottoman
you took a lot of man!

And in the safe in the closet
I made a deposit!

I also tapped that Ass
all over this house!

12. Who’s the New Guy? - the meta song about the show self-awareness regarding its characters and plots… 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6zP_LE4HFE

Who’s this new character?
I mean, he’s such a “character”
Such a big persona
that’s not relatable at all.

Do we really need a new guy
this far into the season?
and by far into the season
I mean it’s almost Fall.

(…)

Is this some desperate move to
try and help our ratings?

You mean our terrible ratings
on Legal scores.com?

Yeah!


Will he be here forever?

Or just two or three episodes?

I mean, Karen’s manic episodes.

anyway, it’s awesome, go watch it! it’s on Netflix!

[160122] Guangzhou Fanmeeting Jungkook compilation

- Jungkook said that he has been on diet recently so his strength got smaller :(

- Jungkook did 3 big bows at different parts of the stage and the last one was the somersault flip + bow which he did last time on the v app!

- When asked about what he felt about being legal, he said he wish to be everyone’s maknae forever and added “I’m maknae Jungkook!”

translated via 一根田征国的屌毛

jinnamonbun-deactivated20151118  asked:

Could you make a BTS reaction for if their girlfriend (or crush) is taller than them?

Jin: every time he sees her he will always tippy-toe so he can look taller
“ nothing wrong here, i am doing some exercises to make me more handsome than i already am ”

Suga: MAKES A RAP WISHING WE WAS BORN TALLER

J-hope: teases you about being so tall
“ where’s my precious lamp post ? ”

Rap monster: starts to do daily stretches to make him taller than he already is #kimdailystretches

Jimin: starts wearing insoles and tippy-toe every time he’s near you HE WOULD BE SO ADORABLE

V: WEARS HIGH HEELS TO BE TALLER AND HE WILL STILL LOOK FINE ASF

Jungkook: complains to his hyungs and they say he’s still a baby and growing
TO ALL THE ARMY THAT CONSIDERS JUNGKOOK FOREVER FETUS AND I DO TO BUT HES LEGAL GUYS HES LEGAL. OUR FETUS HAS GROWN.