he is just so funny!

anonymous asked:

Junkrat and/or McCree trying to woo a mermaid who doesn't understand what he's doing, so they're just like, "what a funny man always bring weird land stuff"


You broke through the surface of the water and approached the junker waiting on the shore, smiling warmly at your warm-blooded friend.

“Oi,” you called, adopting the greeting he always threw at you. Junkrat grinned wide, stooping down to your level as you beached yourself moments after.

“Oi, cutie,” he chirped. In his hand was a large bag, and already you were trying to keep a straight face. “Rounded up somethin’ special for you today!”

Jamison had a habit of just…bringing you things in an effort to court you. Ever since you’d expressed your love for collecting, he’d arrived every single day with something new for you to take home to your cave. It was a sweet enough gesture, you knew, but not everything he brought was…well…


“Oh?” you said, pretending to be interested. Junkrat nodded enthusiastically and reached his hand into the bag, pulling out - “Oh!!”

It was a very large, very shiny, jewel. Immediately, your webbed hands shot out and grabbed it from him, grinning wide and squealing with delight as you inspected it.

“Figured you’d fancy a diamond. How’d I do?” he asked. You barely paid enough attention to nod a response, watching it glitter in the sunlight and reflect pleasingly against your scales. Yes, this one was going to look very nice in your cave.

“Jamison, it’s beautiful,” you said, “thank you! Finally, a gift for my collection!”

“Heh, what about all the other things I gave ya?” he asked. Your face reddened in surprise, having not intended to let him know that most of his ‘gifts’ were actually rotting somewhere at the bottom of the ocean.

“Er…” you mumbled, shooting him a smile, “Uh, never mind that…”


The familiar sound of his spurs against the ground was what made you lift your head from the rock you’d been peacefully sunbathing on, siting up to regard him on the shore with a drowsy smile.

“Howdy, sugar,” Jesse greeted, smiling widely at the sight of you, “ya gonna lie there and cook all day or are ya gonna swim over here an’ greet a fella?”

“I’m not sure,” you teased, flicking the edge of your tail in the water, “this is a really nice rock. Very comfy.”

“Yer not even gonna come over fer this?” he asked, holding up a box in his hand. Your curiosity piqued, you approached him and beached yourself with a grin. “Greedy, ain’t ya?”

“Only because I have someone willing to enable me,” you responded, reaching up for him. Jesse stooped down and sat on the ground, leaning forward to give you a quick kiss on the cheek before presenting the box to you. You ignored the flutter in your chest and ignored his flirtatious gesture in favor of tearing excitedly into the package.

“Oh! It’s a…” you said, your enthusiasm dimming in seconds, “it’s a…erm…”

“A fork!” Jesse declared proudly, as if it were the end all, be all of gifts to offer a mermaid you were trying to romance. “Suppose yer kind call ‘em Dinglehoppers.”

You couldn’t help it. A snort left your mouth, and then a snort turned into a giggle, and then you were outright laughing. This idiot cowboy wasn’t serious, was he?

“I’m not sure if you know,” you smirked once you’d managed to calm down, “but The Little Mermaid is not an accurate portrayal of mer-person culture. Or intelligence. I know what silverware is.”

“W-well, shoot, darlin’,” McCree stammered, smiling sheepishly at you, “that wasn’t racist o’ me, was it?”

You smiled and shook your head, handing the fork back. He took it without complaint.

-mod Viena

Sebastian Stan Imagine

Seb being away filming and you being back home all you do is facetime Seb as many times as you can. Sometimes the calls ar short sometimes they are long. The last call you had was more sad then anything else ans Sebastian could see that. So he made jokes and funny faces to and just acted silly to make you laugh and feel better. It work, because how can you not laugh and be happy talking to someone you truly love. 

Originally posted by stuckybarnesrogers

Y'all, Hazel and Nico are not actually 70+ years old….