what i think about while working retail and being forced to listen to christmas music for 9 hours a day...
Frosty the Snowman: does the personality come from the snow or the hat? if it’s the hat, why can’t they just put it on ANY inanimate object and it would come to life? and if it’s the snow, each new snowflake or each lost snowflake would change he personality slightly, right?
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: if he’s the most famous reindeer, why do you even need to ask if i recall him? of course i do. he’s the most famous fucking reindeer of all.
Baby It’s Cold Outside: Yeah, what IS in that drink?
It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas: “there’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of christmas’s long long ago” Who tells ghost stories at christmas? the only christmas story i know that involves ghost is the one with scrooge.
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: okay… but this kid doesn’t know santa is just their dad in costume. this kid just saw their mom CHEATING on their dad. if that happened to me, i’d be worried about my parents getting divorced. i mean, this is a song about a kid realizing their mom is a cheating whore. ‘what a laugh it might have been if daddy had only seen’???? what? why would that be funny? daddy’d be getting a shotgun, kid.
12 Days Of Christmas: WHO THE FUCK GETS THIS SHIT FOR GIFTS????? and some of these gifts are people. does this song condone human trafficking?