he is a jackass

anonymous asked:

Does Carl know anything about furries, and if so, why wouldn't he look into seeking them out? I'd think there would be a lot of furries out there who are gay and would love to meet Billy. *raises hand enthusiastically*

Carl understands the furry subculture/fandom about as much as any regular college student; he gets they exist but he doesn’t ‘get’ it. He doesn’t identify as a furry, and the fact that Dude called his werewolf alter-ego a fursuit freaks him out a little. 

In an alternate timeline where Carl befriended furries in high school instead of a jackass-that-stomped-on-his-heart, he’d probably have a different world view. But then again, Carl wouldn’t have run into the fields and got attacked by a werewolf either. 

an incomplete list of the batshit insane things hermione’s done

-prioritized her education over her life

-instantly became ride or die with harry after the troll incedent

-set snape on fire

-brewed an illegal potion for two months in the girls’ bathroom

-turned into a furry

-immediate thought upon encountering a giant murdersnake was ‘better make sure the others find this page on my helpless petrified body bc god knows they won’t figure it out themselves’

-wanted to take finals after like a month in a magical coma

-traveled through time to get even more homework

-figured out lupin was a werewolf and didn’t tell anyone because he was a relatively competent teacher compared to magic ryan seacrest and literal voldemort

-essentially snatched trelawney’s weave gotdamn

-slugged draco malfoy, terrified him and his hulking buddies into running, went back in time to watch it again

-confronted a werewolf and his alleged mass murderer friend because, again, ride or die

-broke time travel laws in order to jailbreak azkaban escapee and his pet hippogriff

-dated an international sports star

-put up with all the vile shit rita skeeter wrote about her

-joined secret order dedicated to fighting voldemort

-put up with harry’s shit

-imprisoned a woman in a jar for months, blackmailed her into doing what she wanted

-formed and organized secret defense class, peer pressured harry into leading it

-permanently disfigured the girl who ratted them out. snitches get stitches.

-manipulated the shit out of umbridge

-basically left her to rot in the forbidden forest

-went to fight death eaters with like six of her mates despite her misgivings (RIDE. OR. DIE.)

-immediately agreed to destroy the dark lord’s soul with her buddies despite not having any idea how (RIDE! OR! DIE!)

-mind wiped her parents and made them go to australia to keep them safe

-essentially singlehandedly kept harry and ron alive and functional for the majority of the deathly hallows

-wore the locket while still managing not to be a shithead

-got the shit tortured out of her by bellatrix lestrange. didn’t go insane.

-fought in the battle of hogwarts. didn’t die.

-was unfailingly loyal and did everything she could to keep harry safe for seven years, even when he was quite frankly being a jackass

anonymous asked:

you do realize that todd doesn't write dialogue. or make the patches for the games, right. and that they hire employees to do that

no todd howard made the whole game himself in his garage you fucking idiot. he does every voice in the game too. read a book jackass

some jackass: joseph is terrible
me: yeah ikr
some jackass: because of the cul–
me: he named his kids chris when his last name is also chris like who the fuck does that it’s like a trying hard pre-evolved version of moon moon on your kids and he has 4 he had 4 chances to not fuck that up but he still did

Ok I just finished Power Rangers (2017) and I don’t think Allistics quite understand how important it was to see Billy (the blue ranger) portrayed the way he was. 

In media, there’s generally only one kind of canon autistic. And by canon I mean “The source material uses terminology that references autism or outright states said character is autistic”, and Billy straight up said “I’m on the spectrum” which is how many of us say “I’m autistic” without actually saying it’s Autism Spectrum Disorder. He also said “No it’s a diagnosis” when he missed Jason’s (the red ranger) joke. 

So we only get one (1) kind of autistic in media. What kind is that? Well look no further than Sherlock “I’m a high functioning sociopath” Holmes of BBC’s Sherlock. That is usually what we get. A genuinely horribly written person who treats his peers like trash because he believes he’s smarter than them, and is given ~mystical Autism powers~ [read: he’s really good at logic and things] because of the fact that he is Autistic. 

We generally get the white boy who likes trains, is good at math, and treats people badly (if an adult) or is a “problem child” if a minor. 

Billy is a black autistic teenager. Now I’m white, I should say that straight up, but it is super important that we see black autistic characters. Why? Because people of color are massively under diagnosed with autism. The reasons for that vary, it could be resources (getting diagnosis is expensive), but a lot of it does have to do with racism in the field of psychology. It’s important for young black autistics to be able to see people like Billy on TV. To be able to think “That’s me. I could be a power ranger to.” 

Not once was Billy shown to be a “problem child” at all. He was a Soft Boy. He has special interests, trouble communicating and picking up on social cues. A few times there I thought he was going to cry from the stress of everything and when the bully at the start of the movie broke his pencils I felt what he did because I was in his situation once upon a time. He was distressed and if it wasn’t for Jason stepping in I have no doubt that the bully would have pushed him to tears. 

Billy was the reason everything took off. He found the coins. He was able to map out where the crystal was. He was the first to morph!!

He wasn’t this egotistical jackass who treats coworkers like they’re disposable silverware, he was a real person. He was a real autistic person. 

And seeing someone like him, being himself and was unapologetic about it! And when he did face shit for being autistic, both times the bully got fucked up. It even went the extra step of making the bully a running gag for getting hurt and tbh I don’t give a shit about a bully’s feelings I’m glad it was a running gag. 

Billy is so important, and I need people to understand we need more people like him in media at large. 

Friendly reminder that Guzma accomplished his childhood dream before you even finished your trials. You know, how he wanted to be a Trial Captain and all, but was rejected? Yeah. He accomplished that. Don’t believe me?

Po Town was his bug trial. Consider this: the player goes to Po Town as a distraction so Skull could escort Lillie back to Aether. In order for this to work they had to know where you were, what you were doing, and have a plan to keep you busy long enough to keep you out of the way. So what does Guzma do? He sets up barricades. Trial barricades. And puts grunts out at strategic positions. And lets his grunts keep running their Pokemon Center. Well, that’s all incidental, you might think. They make money from running their center, anyways, so why not let them keep on with it? Besides the part where it would be infinitely easier to let you exhaust your pokemon with your limited resources and have all of his grunts hold you hostage with their healthy, energetic pokemon.

Of course, then you get into the mansion, and that’s when the trial really starts. Every trial in the game has you complete a certain task. You know, defeating a bunch of pokemon, taking pictures, answering quizzes… or finding passcodes. I mean, let’s be honest, here. Team Skull probably doesn’t use passcodes to get to Guzma. They can all tell they’re Team Skull. They have very specific threads. and they don’t ever stop moving their hands. They know when they’re talking to another grunt, and if there’s something urgent they have to tell him there’s no time to have to sit and go through his whole dumb password routine—and even if they did, remember, this whole thing was planned ahead of time. Guzma could have easily coerced his grunts into not saying shit about the passwords and make you waste more time going allllll the way up only to figure out you had to go running around to figure that shit out. But nope. There was one grunt, who decided to tell you very loudly about oh man these passwords are so hard to remember you know those two entire things about Guzma that anyone living in that mansion would know, plus making sure to say no at the end aw jeez aw man whoops I guess I just lost this information somewhere in the mansion and am making no move to try and head you off before you find it haha.
He told you what Guzma wanted him to tell you.

So you get the passwords, and you head on up to see Guzma, but he doesn’t have a totem pokemon or anything, so for your trial you just have to beat him, instead. This isn’t the first time you fought him, and it hasn’t even been very long since the first fight, either. He knows you’ve beaten him before. He knows you might very well beat him again. And he has this entirely inconspicuous treasure chest filled with Buginium Z. You know. That Z-crystal he stole from EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE GODDAMN REGION because he didn’t want anyone else to have it. That Buginium Z. “Well obviously he wants to show it off since he thinks he’s hot shit!” you say, and yeah, that’s probably why he usually leaves it out. Except, remember, he knows you’re coming. He knows he may or may not win. And even then, if he didn’t want you to have the Buginium, he could have just hidden the chest or closed the lid and sat on it. You’re eleven. He’s twenty-something and the tallest character in the game. He could have just put his hand on your forehead and you wouldn’t have been able to reach it. Instead, he leaves it out. Leaves it open. And leaves you alone in his throne room after you beat him. You know. With his prized treasure that he thinks says he’s the most badass Bug trainer in Alola. If he didn’t want you to have a Buginium, he would have damn well made sure you never even saw it. You beat him. He lets you have it.

So you take the Buginium that he’s left sitting out on “accident” and head back out through the mansion, maybe taking one last look for shit before you go because you steal everyone’s things without remorse, and on your way out of Po Town, you notice the barricades are gone. The trial barricades that you can only pass through when you’ve defeated a captain’s trial, like they told you wayyyy back in the very beginning of the game. They could have left those up to slow you down a little bit more, give Lusamine a little more time without having to worry about you getting in the way, but instead Guzma’s let you waltz out without having to jump through any hoops—he left before you, remember. He’s the one who had them taken down.

You have to keep in mind that all of this was planned. That they needed a way to keep you busy so they could take Lillie. That Guzma knew you were coming and had plenty of time to prepare. So you leave Po Town, continuing on your adventure under a little bit more pressure than before, but Guzma? Jackass he may be, for one pokemon battle of one hour of one day, Guzma did the one thing he’d ever wanted to do in the first place:

Guzma was a Trial Captain.

A collection of posts which have earned Robert Small suspensions from the forums of CrypidHunt.com

  • “No no no, it’s the Dover Ghost. Don’t challenge me, kid, I know what the fuck I’m talking about.”
  • “The Dover Ghost is a completely different thing from the Dover Demon. The Dover Demon is pussy shit. Get out of here.”
  • “Yes, I did say I was hunting with my boyfriend. I’m bisexual, Chad. You got a fucking problem with that, you little shit? You act so tough - I bet you’ve never even seen a naked woman. You’re just jealous I have sex on a regular basis. You talks shit about my man again and they won’t find your fucking body, jackass.”
  • “what t he fuckk??? fuck u kiddo. wha tthe shit do u kno? i’ll hav u know i’v e personallly seen 3 whol cryptozoologies”
  • “I admit I was drunk when I posted that, but I stand by the sentiment. Fuck you.”
  • “I’m going to drive to West Virginia right now and tear down that fucking Mothman Idol with my bare hands. I’ll do it. Don’t fuck with me.”
  • “If demons aren’t real, how come one fucked me on a yacht and never returned my calls, huh?”

Some of y’all are asking about the ritual with the scotch, so HERE IS A STORY THAT SPANS SEVERAL GENERATIONS OF SHENNANIGANS.

So my dad’s side of the family is a bunch of rowdy farm boys with a dark sense of humor. My oldest uncle Tim was the first to get married and the rest of them orchestrated this complicated, almost medieval style dance routine on the dance floor where they would switch dance partners mid-song and slowly danced the bride towards the door, swept her up, put her in the back of the pickup truck, and took her away.

Tim doesn’t notice until the song ends. This was in the 70′s, way before cell phones. The front desk of the hotel gets a call, it’s one of my uncles. “We have your wife. The price is one bottle of scotch.”

He’s like ‘what is this shit?’ And he figures they can’t hold out too long. They have to come back sometime. No. They are literally driving her around the block several times, stopping at pay phones to check in to see if he’s gotten the ransom. This goes on for about an hour.

So he goes out and gets a bottle of scotch, puts it by the door as they drive by and everyone returns.

All the boys got married in the order of their birth and let me just say… they’re not above petty payback. Next one up is Jay who just… seems to forget entirely that his brothers are complete jackasses. Also, he was kind of the ringleader at the last one so there’s no way they could do it to him!

Haha… ha…. haaaaaaaa… oh, uncle Jay. You sweet summer child… who is also several decades older than me. 

Bride gets kidnapped, almost in the same manner as Tim’s. The price, as always, is a bottle of scotch. But Jay… oh… Jay…

Jay just HAD to get his ass married on a Sunday and this is Indiana, buck-o. There ain’t no alcohol sales on Sundays. No liquor stores, no grocery stores, no convenience stores. Nowhere. But there WAS a bar at the Marriott holding the reception. So he had to pay the front desk $75 for a bottle of scotch maybe worth $20 so he could get his wife back. 

A pattern emerges. 

My uncle Moe was next in line. They…. eloped for reasons, but for the purposes of this story we will say that he avoided a situation where his brothers could steal his wife. It’s kind of a personality thing with him, we’ve noticed. Just… ‘oh! Let me avoid this conflict entirely.’ 

Next up is my dad, who is a fun-loving dude who had his reception at a bowling alley and he was NOT, I repeat: NOT- going to have this night ruined by larceny when there is IMPORTANT BOWLING TO BE DONE. Buys a bottle of scotch and and presents it to his brothers with a big audience just so no one can claim that he didn’t. Everyone has fun. 

Moe’s first marriage falls through, and I’m not saying that there’s superstitious reasons for this but I’m just saying- he most certainly DID NOT present a bottle of scotch as an offering at the reception so we must reasonably assume that this had something to do with it. He gets married again and you better believe that there was a bottle of scotch waiting for his brothers at their table. 

So this tradition carried on into the next generation. No one actually expects that the four of them are up to kidnapping anyone when they’re well into their 50′s, but no one is about to risk it. There is a bottle of scotch at the table where the brothers sit at every wedding. 

But my cousin Julia is a perfectionist and if there is any detail that might go wrong, she is going to obsess over it. Because of this, she has a tendency to overcompensate to make sure that NOTHING goes wrong. NOTHING. 

She plans her big moment TO THE MINUTE and a week before the wedding she has this revelation… she has heard… stories. 

Oh no. 

The scotch. 

Around the same time, my grandma is moving out of her old house and she’s inviting family members to rifle through her old things before she gives them to Goodwill. Me, my dad, Tim, and Jay are all there. We’re about to leave when Moe comes up the drive way with a BIG BOX. 

And Gran is like ‘I don’t need more stuff… I don’t need more stuff.. what the fresh hell have you brought to me this time, son of mine?’

He sets it on the floor and it clinks. 

“Julia has ordered me to bring this as a preemptive offer to ensure that there will be no need for a ransom.”

He has brought 24 bottles of scotch. Each brother, including himself, can have six bottles. Whatever debt might have been incurred from his first marriage has been paid off. Her children, and her children’s children, and her children’s children’s children… will no longer need to live in fear of kidnapping on their wedding night. 

This is a sharp contrast to my sister-in-law, who learned of this tradition a week before her wedding, went out and bought a bottle of scotch, slammed it down on their table, and told them to fight for it. 

petition for a modern Sherlock Holmes take in which:

  • Holmes is explicitly aroace.
  • whatever sexuality Watson is, either a.) he and Holmes are in a relationship, which is made very clear and definite, or b.) they’re clearly not and they get rightfully annoyed at people assuming/insisting that they are. 
  • if there are any gay jokes they had better be up to Captain Holt standards.
  • if Watson has an SO that’s not Holmes they get to be a significant character in their own right rather than a walking side joke.
  • re: that post about the way cocaine usage was viewed in Victorian England, if Holmes has a substance abuse problem it’s not a direct transfer of what he used in the original stories but a modern translation of that. which is to say, I want to see Holmes pouring 5-hour-energy into his fifth cup of coffee while Watson beats his head against the wall.
  • if Holmes has a mental illness it’s recognized and portrayed as an actual realistic mental illness. it is neither there to make him Edgy nor to give him license to be a jackass. 
  • Holmes can totally be a jackass but it’s portrayed as him, in fact, being a jackass, and he isn’t given free pass for it just because he’s Very Smart.
  • Holmes alternates, seemingly at random, between being charming and incredibly socially adept, and having no social skills whatsoever. 
  • Holmes disguises himself all the time, often for no real reason. sometimes these disguises are exquisite and sometimes they’re utterly terrible and unconvincing, but Holmes remains convinced that they’re all great.
  • Watson definitely threatens to hit someone with a chair at some point.
  • Irene Adler has a husband that she genuinely loves and does not get killed off or otherwise abandoned in the course of her story arc.
  • there is 0% sexual tension between Irene Adler and Holmes. Holmes loses the case because he writes her off as being inferior to him and consequently underestimates her. he learns from this mistake. or at the very least, Watson constantly reminds him of it. 
  • anything that was a factual error or case of science-marches-on in the original stories is brought up as a genuine mistake made by Holmes, as part of his whole I-don’t-need-to-know-things-that-aren’t-relevant-to-me shtick. (”he brought the snake here by whistling for it!” “snakes are deaf Holmes” “what”)
  • there’s no ominous buildup to Moriarty appearing. he literally just shows up completely out of nowhere just like he does in the original story. Holmes insists he’s been behind everything; everyone else is very confused.
  • either Holmes, Watson, or both carry brass knuckles. 
  • poor long-suffering Watson has to constantly point out to Holmes that Baritsu is Not A Thing, Holmes, you just made that up okay. 
  • despite being otherwise impeccably dressed, Holmes has a different stupid hat in each episode. none of them are a deerstalker though. 
  • modern versions of other detectives inspired by Holmes (Poirot, Nero Wolfe, etc) occasionally wander into the stories, but their appearances are never called attention to. they’re just there. 
  • at least one reference to The Great Mouse Detective is made. 
  • Holmes gets really into video games when he’s bored between cases. one story has a background plot of him trying to figure out an adventure game puzzle. he’s infuriated when he finally finds the (ridiculous) solution. 
  • Holmes has a fidget cube.

there’s this guy sending racist messages and death threats to a friend of mine + the friends dad’s and fucking christ it makes me mad

look at this asshole. it looks like his face was photoshopped to be too low on his stupid head.

fuck this dude.

if you’re in portland and you see him, tell him he’s a jackass and trip him.