he goes above and beyond for a lot of people sigh

Essays in Existentialism: FtWD IX

All through the town, the silence of the new world slunk, filling streets somberly, rolling around with the faded trash and debris, prowling on fences and painting windows with dust and decay. The entire world was brown, clumps of dead lawns, upturned dirt, dead branches– it all blurred into the same shade inevitably.

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Teaching To Love Again Teacher Bucky AU - Part 7

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC (Alice Manning)

Rating: General

Genre: Fluff, Romance, slight angst

Word Count: 702

Plot: When single mother Alice goes to meet her daughter’s first teacher for a parent/teacher conference, but things do not go as planned. She hopes to never have to see Mr. Barnes ever again, but life has other ideas for Alice and Bucky.

Originally posted by heartsandwheels

Alice and Bucky awkwardly sitting at a small table at a little café not far from Alice’s apartment complex. It is within walking distance, so that makes Alice feel a little better, but not completely; she would honestly rather not be here at all with Mr. Barnes. But this is for her daughter, the only reason she would be here with him is because of her daughter.

Bucky observes Alice closely as she stares out the window, watching the people who walk by. He can tell that she doesn’t want to be there, but he’s not ready to let her walk away before he says his peace. Clearing his throat, he catches her attention, as she turns to him with wide eyes,

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pale-silver-comb  asked:

Okay, sweet angel writer that you are! If you are ever feeling in the mood for a little Sterek and librarian kink....*insert eyebrow waggle here*. Derek having a massive librarian kink and ENTER LIBRARIAN STILES. Maybe librarian!Stiles, who finds it adorable when the guy with the cute bunny teeth blushes whenever he comes into the room. Maybe established relationship and KINK DISCOVERY. Maybe ridiculous librarian dirty talk that Stiles loves to tease Derek with. THE LIBRARIES ARE YOUR OYSTER.

Okay! So I went with librarian Stiles and grad student Derek and pining idiots in love. I hope you enjoy it!!!!

Boyfriend Material. Stiles/Derek. Teen.

Stiles is a librarian for the special collections at a university. Derek is a grad student who pretty much lives in the special collections area. There are bad pick-up lines, a meddling sister, and so much pining it’s ridiculous on their way from friends to something more.

The special collections for anthropology and history at the university library are some of the best in the state. Stiles knows he’s very lucky to get the chance to work in them while he’s going to grad school, so he’s treating it like a professional. He’s got his masters already with a certification in special collections, though his actual focus is a combination of rare book conservation and research. He’s really into technology, lives off his laptop and smartphone, but there’s something about old books and the information available in them that has always sparked his interest. His mom had been an antique book collector, though she’d bought what was cheap since she couldn’t afford the real expensive stuff, and he’d inherited her collection when she died nearly fifteen years ago.

Stiles has taken the collection and made it grow, using the internet to locate rare books in subjects that appeal to him, and learning the tricks of the trade. He’s actually been able to pay his way through the college collecting fees for locating particular books for interested parties and arranging sales. It’s fun, almost like investigative work, and he can do it easily around his school schedule. His goal after he gets his PhD is to work in the special collections at a university or possibly a museum, but he’s a realist. Jobs like that aren’t easy to find, so this opportunity to work here is going to give him a step up above a lot of his competition.

That means he has to take his job very seriously. Serious translates into not getting a crush on a fellow grad student who comes in daily for hours to review texts and files on folklore. Not even grad students with a perpetual five o’clock shadow and the most adorable bunny teeth and glasses that actually look good on him unlike Stiles who knows he can’t carry off his own glasses so well. That’s not even going into the well-built shoulders and biceps evident when he’s reaching for books on higher shelves (okay, so, yes, maybe Stiles has creeped on him outside of special collections) or that amazing ass that’s evident whenever he bends over to get something on the lower shelves. Stiles can’t even come up with the right words to describe his eyes or the smile that makes his eyes crinkle whenever Stiles manages to make him laugh. Beyond the physical, he’s also very intelligent, very polite, and his voice does things to Stiles.

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Ways To Say I’m Sorry-Chapter 1

This is the first prompt for #ChloNathWeek2k17. Thanks to @powerdragonmoon for organizing this. 

Chapter [you are here]


Chapter One-Bickering/Flirting

Chloe Bourgeois had a lot of regrets in her life. She regretted leaving Paris during her father’s time of need. She regretted losing the respect of her idol and good friend. She regretted pushing everyone close to her away when she needed them most. But her biggest regret of all was squandering her last Euros on a cheap dye job.

After several long years as mayor, all of her father’s dirty dealings had finally come back to bite him in ass. He was impeached resigned in disgrace and still under investigation with the government.  As soon as the shit hit the fan, Chloe ran off to London with a bag of cash and very little planning. With her lavish spending habits, the money only lasted a month. She soon sold several of her belongings and bought a ticket back to Paris to smooth things over with her father.

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Essays in Existentialism: Flight

Clarke is a flight attendant and sees Lexa in first class with an empty seat next to her, twirling an engagement ring in her hand. She goes up to her and offers her one of those tiny bottles of alcohol

3B was an enigma. The entire cabin remained dark, save for the single light above the contemplative passenger. Ever since taking her seat, she seemed to not even notice how empty the plane was, how singular she was in her state of wakefulness. The world was entirely foreign. 

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By ‘Chance’ (Kraglin x Reader) Part 4

An anon was begging for more Kraglin and I had forgotten I had this lying around while I focused on Rocket’s fic. So here it is, anon! 

Also, just a thing to consider: If you’re going to ask me a question or whatever, anon is allowed - and that’s completely fine - but it would be nice to be able to respond privately to some questions if you’re not too worried/ashamed or whatever, to go off anon. I’m fine with whatever you choose to do however! :)


Word count: 2k

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A is for: Attagirl

Notes: This is my submission for the ABC’s of Simon Challenge. I feel so terrible that it’s being submitted the last day, but with a lot of medical issues going on in my life, it was difficult to find the time to sit down and actually write. BUT! Ideas for this have been floating in my brain since I took this challenge on, and man, I’m so happy I was able to get it done. It really, really kick-started my muse again. <3 

For now this is a one-shot, but I might continue it in the future!

Tagging: @simons-thirst-squad

Warnings: Language

Characters: Simon x female OFC 

Rating: SFW (few mentions of innuendos, sexual tension and what not, but nothing explicit)

Word count: 2,445

Originally posted by openinglogo

Judging by the scowls upon the faces of the Saviors as they come rolling through the gates, I guess that the little trip to Alexandria hadn’t gone well.

It comes as no surprise, really, when we are all summoned to the courtyard with our fearless leader glowering from above, declaring with his usual bravado that we are going to war. Negan is, as usual, stunning; he’s tall and lean and so damn commanding, and yet for some reason, I always find my eyes straying from him, wandering instead to one particular Second-in-Command that is never terribly far.

Simon looks irritated, hands dangling in front of his thighs, thumbs looped through the belt holes of his jeans as he stands just behind Negan, who is now ordering everyone who is capable and willing to begin training to fight. To win. To demolish Alexandria.

One of my hands strays to the gun at my belt absently as my gaze continues to flicker from Negan (trying to listen, I swear) to Simon (who, for some reason, makes listening really fucking difficult). I’ve been with the Saviors for what must be close to a year now, keeping my head down, doing my work. Kitchen duty had been a nightmare, at first, until at last someone had seen my skills on the firing range and promoted me to gate patrol. It’s nice, I’ve always thought, being able to zip myself into my warmest jacket on cool nights, with the crisp air in my lungs and the moon high above me, the weight of my gun in my holster comforting and familiar.

Usually, night patrols were peaceful, uneventful. Just how I liked them. Which is why I was surprised to find that we’d had an intruder from Alexandria several nights ago; Negan had been furious, of course, in that strange way of his. I’d only been glad that it had been my night off. I wasn’t fond of the idea of meeting the iron, like Carson. Like Dwight.

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Spy au

 A cute idea for a shance au, I can’t remember the post but the prompt was something like a spy meeting with an intel agent but instead meets up with an average joe who talks about mundane living but it’s worded in a way that can be mistaken for an understanding of the spy life ™ and vice versa.

In this au Shiro is the spy and Lance is the average joe mistaken for an agent.

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beyond repair

read on ao3

summary: robert reaches breaking point

based on a conversation with @sapphicsugden

content warnings: depression, implied accidental self-harm, disordered eating

Three weeks after Robert goes missing, Victoria finds him asleep in the back of his car, parked up on a verge just outside of Hotten. She just happens to be passing on her way back from a wedding reception. The van smells like cold hot dogs and she has the windows down to expel the smell. The stench will cling to her clothes and hair even after washing, so the smell of manure smeared fields is a welcome reprieve. She’s singing along to an Ed Sheeran song when she sees the car. She quietens immediately. The music seems to shoot up in volume as she tries to work out what this could mean.  

The van pulls up onto the verge with a shudder. Something in the back falls to the floor and shatters, but Victoria doesn’t go back to assess the damage. She shuts off the engine and opens the door, hopping down onto the soft grass. It’s a humid day. The grey clouds lie across the sky like a duvet and the air is a jumper that can’t be removed. Despite the heat, the windows in Robert’s car are opaque with condensation. Victoria’s mind begins to spin. A disaster movie plays on the backs of her eyelids and she wonders what she could find in that car. Unable to stand the apprehension any longer, she surges forward, quickly closing the distance between the van and the car. She pulls down the sleeve of her long-sleeved t-shirt over her hand and scrubs at the back window. Much to her frustration, this does nothing; the condensation is on the inside. Steeling herself for the worst, she takes a deep breath and raps a fist against the glass.


When no response comes, she knocks again. Harder this time. So hard that her knuckles glow red and sing with pain.


She keeps knocking, fighting against the urge to dislodge a brick from a crumbling wall nearby and put it through the window. She can hear herself shouting, her voice taking on panicked edge that she hardly recognises. She’s being ridiculous. Robert isn’t an old dog, he wouldn’t just slip away quietly to-

The lock clicks.

Victoria grabs the handle and wrenches the door open with such force that she almost knocks herself backwards. The smell of whisky and body odour rolls over her in a wave. Robert lies on his side, curled up on the rear seats with his face pressed into the backrest. Victoria stands over her brother, staring, trying make sense of what she’s seeing. It is Robert, she’s sure of it, but at the same time it’s barely him. His usually immaculate hair is matted against his skull and his cheeks are shadowed with blonde stubble. Robert is the kind of person that takes up space, who walks into a room and occupies every corner. This Robert isn’t him. This Robert is small.

Swallowing through the tightness in her throat, Victoria crouches down next to the car, placing a hand on her brother’s shoulder. He doesn’t so much as flinch.

‘Robert? It’s me. Are you okay?’  

He clearly isn’t, but what else can she ask?

‘Can you sit up, Robert?’

It takes a moment, but he does. The more he uncurls himself, the more apparent it is that something is very wrong. His face his drawn; his cheekbones hollowed out and his eyes sunken back into his skull. There’s blood on the collar of his shirt, purple against the blue material, and more unidentifiable stains down his front. Victoria clamps her hands over her mouth, breathing through her fingers and doing her best to fight back tears.

‘Oh God, Robert, what happened?

Robert doesn’t speak. While Victoria gets him something to eat, he watches the rain slide down the window pane, turning the village outside into a smeared canvas. He nibbles on the skin at the tip of his thumb, his nails bitten back to almost non-existent bloody slithers. Victoria watches him from the kitchen while she waits for the kettle to boil. She’s tried talking to him. All the way back she’d bombarded him with questions. Where had he been? Why hadn’t he called? Why was he living in his car? But he didn’t answer, just watched the world speed past the window of the van.  

As Victoria pours the tea she looks at the family photo that sits on the windowsill. Five smiling faces trapped behind a layer of glass. Her dad and her mum and her two brothers and her. Seeing them all together like that feels like the most impossible miracle. Victoria sees families all the time. Sees them sat together in the pub or walking to the shops. She wishes that she didn’t hate them, but it’s hard to look up into the lush branches of a great oak when her own family tree is withering. She tries to keep it alive, but no matter how often she waters the gnarled roots it keeps dying.

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See Past It//Josh Dun

Note: This is something near and dear to my heart that I’ve been thinking of doing for a while—but just got the guts to do today. After a pretty deep talk with my coworker about it.

And No this isn’t real, Josh doesn’t actually suffer from this.


               If there was one thing Josh hated about himself more than anything—it was what he couldn’t control. The way his eyes would blink hard, looking like he was fatigued, or suffering from dry eyes (which coupled as his favorite excuse for what was going on), the way he would unconsciously clear his throat, or scrunch his nose up like he smelled a foul odor.

               He hated himself, because it just started. No pre-requisites to warn him, nobody to explain what this was, or that he was in fact a normal teenager, despite what was going on. Nobody in his family did the same things as he did—they never complained of actions they didn’t mean to do. They never had sore muscles from involuntary movements. They would tell him “just stop, that’s annoying”. That’s what everyone would say. Stop, it’s annoying.

               Except, nobody stopped to think how annoyed Josh must’ve gotten by it. How tired his eyes got from the firm blink after blink—or how sore his throat would get on days when it would act up. He had a lot of soreness, and he hated it. He hated losing control to his own body. Which was a constant battle—if he was overtired. You bet it would cluster up into a storm. If he was sick—oh that throat is going to get it! If he was anxious—kiss your eye muscles goodbye because they’re about to be so sore. It felt like every little stressor in his life was enunciated by these uncontrolled movements—god how he wished them away.

               “It’s like, I go into any public place—and when people stare and whisper, or laugh I know it’s about me. Because I’m the one who’s doing all these weird things. If one thing goes away, another comes up.” Josh confessed one night, to a boy he barely knew. The two were over the edge intoxicated (which didn’t help the movements Josh found himself unconsciously doing)—which led to drunken confessions. “I just wish I was normal. I never asked for this, I never did anything to cause this.” He sighed, taking a long drink of the alcohol in his hand. Wishing to find relaxation from all the strain his facial muscles were put through day after day.

               “That doesn’t change anything though dude, you’re still sick.” The younger male slurred, putting an arm around his newfound friend. “If anyone tries to mess with you, I’ll defend you so much.” And from that moment on, he kept his word.

               The time Josh went for a haircut—and cleared his throat, one too many times to be exact. He had no idea why the hairdresser jumped back—covering her mouth like he was the plague.

               “What’s wrong?” Josh asked, worried that something he may have said (or his silence) offended the woman, even before the haircut began.

               “Are you sick?!” She snapped, using her scarf to keep her mouth hidden from the boy in front of her. “Whatever you have I don’t need—I’m pregnant.” Josh opened his mouth to explain, to tell her it was involuntary—or make up some lame excuse like he always did.

               “Actually—he has involuntary tics like that. And I have an involuntary need to stay away from people like you.” Tyler stepped in, keeping true to his word that he gave Josh months ago. “C’mon Josh. Let’s go somewhere else.” Tyler shot a look to his friend—who looked on the verge of tears.

               They barely made it to Tyler’s car before Josh had tears running down his face. Mumbling his dreams of being normal, just wanting to stay out of people’s radar when he walked up town. Not get questioned on “why do you do that all the time?”

               It took a good 3-4 years for Josh to accept who he was, accept that it wasn’t a disease he was plagued with, rather than a slight inconvenience. Though, it gave him much more reason to be different from anyone in a group—and through the whole journey Tyler stood by his side. Taking him out of situations where he felt pinpointed and degraded for the things he couldn’t control.


               End of story note: If you don’t quite realize what this was about—I don’t blame you. Hell I wouldn’t know what muscle touretts was myself if I wasn’t plagued with the damn thing. So in short—I have tics, like the ones mentioned above. I blink my eyes hard, I clear my throat and sometimes when a Tourette’s storm hits, I scrunch my nose up (God I hate the storms—its everything all at once and makes you feel like you’re honest to god drowning). I’ve been like this for a good 3-4 years (2013 or 2014, I can’t remember. Maybe even earlier I don’t know), and for most of those I lied through my teeth about what was wrong because I was ashamed of admitting I was screwed up.

               So to anyone (followers or anyone who sees this), you’re not alone. I have it, I can name at least 3 other people that have it (I’ve never personally met them, but in my healthcare career I’ve had people bring it up, then tell me a story of someone close to them who has the same thing). It sucks, and if you’re like me there’s really nothing you can do about it besides suck it up and live with it.

               If you know someone who has this, be patient. If you think it’s annoying at times, imagine living with it 24/7, no breaks—just periods of better and worse. It’s not something you’d wish upon your worst enemy, and any support for people like me—well we love to know we aren’t being singled out in a group.

               If you’ve read this far, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me get this off my chest—and taking the time to open your mind (and maybe even educate yourself to get the word out) about this. Because like I said, when it came on I was terrified and felt beyond alone.

               Thanks guys!

               Yours truly,

               Sam (justtwentyonewriters)

Escape; pt. 5

Reader x Jungkook // (???)!AU // 4237 words

Summary: Everyone has a number over their heads that says how useful they are to society from 0-100. You have a number ‘4’. You leave the city for some peace but you meet your cocky neighbor who seems to get on your nerves.

Genre: Fluff?

Y/L/N refers to your last name/family name

A/N: HI FRIENDS. SURPRISE! I have an exam coming up the week after next so I wanted to get this out first cause I’ll probably be studying all week next week. Anyway, back to the story… Hoseok *wiggles eyebrows*

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 6


You couldn’t believe your luck. It was surreal seeing him in front of you. Just my luck right? You’re barely ever in the city and if you were and you’re never usually in this part of the city. Of all people to meet, it just had to be Hoseok.

Jimin hated being in the office after hours and he especially hated the guilt that hung over his head every time he was in the security room trying to break the code for Mr. Jeon.

Jimin entered the words on the piece of paper that Taehyung had given him.

The screen goes blank and Jimin starts sweating.


The screen turns black and slowly words began to appear.

Dome: _ _   _ _ _ _ _ ‘_

Island: _ _   _ _ _ _

Animal: _ _ _ _ _

Disappointment: ______

Elope: _ _ _ _ _   _ _ _ _

Moral Code: _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Sir, there are dashes for the corresponding answers. I guess this will make it easier but honestly, none of this makes sense to me.”

“Just send me the details,” Mr Jeon says. “You’ve done well so far, Jimin,” He continues and then he ends the call abruptly.

Jimin winces at the comment. He hated that he was in this position. This company and your family meant the world to him. The fact that he could put food on the table for his family was all because of this job at Y/L/N Logistics and he wished he could take back that mistake he made all those years ago. If only he pushed away his pride and asked for a loan from your family, he wouldn’t be in this position. Every time Mr. Jeon hung up on him, he would let out a heavy sigh. He wonders what you would think of him if you ever found out that he played a major part in the imminent fall of your family’s company.

You sat on the bench swinging your legs above the ground as you watched Buster roll around on the grass. Jungkook was sat inches away from you, observing your every move. You didn’t really know what to say to him. You felt bad for putting him on the spot with Hoseok and all of that and honestly you don’t know why you did that anyway. So what you were single? It shouldn’t have mattered but you got yourself into this mess anyway.

“So, I think I went above and beyond the call of duty back there at that coffee shop so… I deserve an explanation,” Jungkook suddenly says, bringing you back to reality and out of your thoughts.

You bite your lower lip nervously. He really did deserve one despite the no questions asked favour because with each question Hoseok threw at Jungkook, he was able to answer each one effortlessly. He made it all so believable. He held you close and pecked your cheek in between answers and you just looked up at him, as if you were in awe.

“How many months have the two of you been together?” Hoseok asks while glancing at Jungkook’s hand that now rests on your waist.

You swallow nervously, trying to think of a reasonable number but Jungkook answers almost instantaneously.

“Oh, it’s been about maybe 3 months now? Right, babe?” Jungkook looks at you and you only nod in agreement. “It doesn’t really matter though, I just wished I could’ve gotten closer to her much sooner,” He says as he lightly squeezed your side and you can only smile in response. What a fuckin’ cheeseball.

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Bleach 686

Guys, this is the last time I’m ever gonna address anything regarding bleach. I hope everyone respects that, especially the people who are gonna go anon and bash me for posting this after everything.


 The last chapters of bleach were pure disappointment not because my two main ships didn’t work out the way I wanted it to but I couldn’t really make any sense of it. I’m sorry as a manga, bleach really lost its pace. I spent 10 years with this manga and I was here to see till the end. I invested a lot of time and energy into this fandom and everything. I really expected better from Kubo.


 I’m really happy for princess. She finally has a loving family and a child. I’m glad that she’s with Ichigo. If IchiHime was meant to be from the start then why so much emphasis on IchiRuki. He could have given  Orihime so much character development. So much more but no he made it seem as if she only existed for Ichigo. I actually believed that Kubo was one of those writers that would actually make IshiHime canon.


  • IshiHime was a ship that could have portrayed the fact that, you don’t always find love in the places you look for but sometimes you find it in the most unexpected places, from a person that loved you from the start even though you never loved them back.  This is coming from my personal experiance entirely I’ve liked this guy for 5 years and IshiHime really gave me hope that one day I will find someone that will love me as much as I love them.

Orihime was a very decent and humble character. I loved her and enjoyed her warm and caring nature but she could have been such a badass as an individual. She was never mean or a bitch to anyone ever and neither was Rukia (please do note that) I dont understand why would he put Ichigo and Rukia together panel after panel with all his shippy gear on. Orihime had more better interactions with Chad and Uryu than she ever had with Ichigo. If Kubo had sold her and Ichigo as black sun and white sun from the start, man I would have shipped the shit out of it.

Third: I hated how Kubo made Chad and Uryuu something that they never wanted to be.

Uryu hated his dad most his life. He never wanted to follow his dads footsteps, which is why the song numb by linkin park reminded me of him so much. He had been misunderstood by most of his friends and even the readers in the first chapters but that cunty, snooty boy came to understand that friendship is one of the most strongest bond to exist. This arc should have  been about him and Ichigo abd their past and origins. Ichigo, who kept getting his bankai broken over and over again. Why couldn’t they just tag team the two of them for the last time?
Uryu didn’t have a mother, his father treated him as a low life runt. Even Isshin tried. He did try to understand Ichigo not with the best method to do so but he still tried where as Uryu’s father didn’t. I think Orihime and Uryu really deserved each other. In an alternate ending I could have imagined him to be a world class designer and Orihime by his side doing whatever makes her happy perhaps a very nice cafe with interesting serving, where the customers only came to eat and would be disappointed by the food but melt and forget the bad taste the food left on their mouth as soon as Orihime would flash her beautiful smile at them (Sigh).

Chad promised he’d never hurt anyone with his fists but help others lol. Really? a boxer? I hated this THE MOST. Chad really deserved better, even though he looked hot as fuck in the panels where he was shown. I think he should have owned a record store or made good mexican music or he could have been the doctor or worked at Kurosaki clinic or something, anything other than being a boxer would have suited him more.

Fourth: Why didn’t Kubo show or complete the states that the other characters were in. I really hoped they would show some Jinta/Yuzu or something regarding Urahara and Yoruichi who helped Ichigo achieve bankai and trained him so he could be strong and protect his friends.
Is Isshin Kurosaki dead? because that would just be sad. I could imagine him to be a great grandparent to Kazui. Kubo really should have at least mentioned this much but he didn’t. I could go on and on about how bad the chapter was but I’m gonna stop now and start pouring my shipper heart out.

Last and the most important topic I wanted to address is my otp, IchiRuki.

I’m sorry to all the IchiRuki shippers that got their hearts and hoped shattered into a million pieces after 686. I feel betrayed and angry as well but let’s not be pricks and be the bigger person. I’m gonna make a request to all IchiHime shippers.
Firstly, congrats guys, princess finally ended up with the man of her dreams as an IchiRuki shipper I never hated on her or said anything mean about her. I’m glad that she’s happy even though it’s not boy I wanted her to end up with but despite everything, I am genuinely happy for her.

Second, I would be really happy if some of you weren’t not so hostile to IchiRuki shippers, please understand that a lot of people found peace in this ship and now they are a mess. Be humble comfort us, Orihime would never been like “yeah bitch I got the dude” instead she would tried and comfort us IchiRuki shippers, she would’ve started crying for an hour, binged on so much ice cream that she would get a tummy ache and fall asleep.

The picture above is the picture of the last IchiRuki coloured page I had made. I was so proud of this and now every time I open my notebook. I feel sad, beyond words. Ichigo and Rukia were the definition of soulmates. I wanted them to be together so bad. I can’t really express it in words about how I feel. I don’t remember a single day where I did not visit the IchiRuki tag. I’m disappointed a lot. So much build up for nothing. Kubo seemed like he threw the idea of IR down the window so suddenly, that I can’t even cope with it. I’d rather have dead characters than an ass pull ending like this. It’s so shitty and rushed. I feel like crying. I invested so much I don’t know what to do with all these beautiful colored pages I had made for this amazing ship. I’m devastated. Laugh at me all you want but I am so depressed with the ending. From the beginning I could see the chemistry and the electricity that Rukia and Ichigo gave off when they interacted. The SS arc, which is my most favorite arc was the biggest pillar that IchiRuki has something more than friendship. A bond of love and trust and what not lol I guess I’m a little delusional. Let’s take  moment to honor this beautiful ship one more time and move on. Thank you every good anon, some great blogs like @peachtiger, @icchiruki, @50shadesofichigo, @daethberry, @ishihime-4-ever and so many more. Thank you, I respect and love each one of you. Stay strong, this bond will always be unbreakable but still life goes on and we all have to move on.

Kubo really fucked up and the worst part is they plan to make a live action movie which I doubt will sell shit. I would never pay a dime to just watch actors waste their time by portraying incomplete roles lol.

Anyways I’m done. Thank you everyone, the Bleach, Ginran, IshiHime and Ichiruki fandom I love each and every one of you. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions and heartache and its time to move on. I’ll still follow all the blogs that I followed for IchiRuki and IshiHime. Have a nice life bleach fandom for as you lost one hardcore dedicated reader.

Thank you and Au Revoir.  💙 💙

Side note: I am extremely addled at the moment as I write this post. So sorry in advance if I managed to piss any of you off.

Oh and dont you dare and try to steal that great art. Thanks in advance. Much love. xoxo 💙 💙

The Stars Walk Backwards (2/2)

Summary: It’s only supposed to ever be one night, but before they know it, it’s a doorway in Paris, and an apartment in San Diego, and a blinking low battery light in Maine. Emma knows she needs to let Killian go, but there’s always that one day a year she can’t seem to stay away…

Rating: M

Also on ao3 or ff (where it is broken into 4 parts for those who prefer smaller chunks)

[Part 1]


June 19, 2009

She hopes he’ll forget, that life will sweep him away and her impulsive, guilt-ridden promise will be just another missed moment in this crazy life of theirs.

There’s no reason to cling to this one day, after all. She’s seen the photos of him with the same woman for months, the way that woman looks at him with adoring eyes and a happy, easy smile. They look good together, Killian with his rockstar attitude and the cute actress with the rich chestnut hair and short skirts.

He deserves to be happy, but when he reminds her in January that she promised, and if she needs to request leave, she had better do it now, she puts in the request despite the fresh flood of guilt. She assures herself that come June, it won’t matter, because he’ll be somewhere with the actress, and she’ll take herself to the beach. Or something. She won’t be the woman who helps him throw away what appears to be an actual, healthy relationship for a sandcastle on a fault line.

But two weeks before the nineteenth, she opens an email while killing time waiting in her hotel room in Rio to find a flight reservation in her name. It’s a one way ticket to an island in the West Indies, and the only other thing his email says is I trust your passport is in order.

Emma types ten replies before she gives up and closes her email, cursing to herself as she drops her head into her hands. What the hell is she doing? She can’t go running off to an island with him. She promised one day. What the hell does he think he’s doing with the one way ticket?

And what about the actress?

She can’t go. Then she backpedals, decides she’ll go, but nothing will happen. They’re still friends, after all. Since he showed up drunk on her doorstep, they’ve resumed their usual correspondence, though he’s never mentioned the actress, and she’s never been brave enough to ask.

Still, she isn’t prepared for the sight of him when she steps out of the tiny airport into the oppressive heat, the deep blue of the sky reflected in his eyes. He looks good, relaxed even, in a pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt that highlights the definition in his biceps. And his smile when he catches sight of her – a pure, radiant smile – weakens her resolve in an instant.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come,” he admits as he takes her bag, his palm on the small of her back the only thing she can think of as he guides her toward a waiting car.

“I almost didn’t.” She bites her lip, grateful and disappointed all at once when she gets into the passenger seat and his touch drops away. “What’s with the one way plane ticket?” she asks as he settles into the driver’s seat, slipping a pair of dark glasses over his eyes. “It was supposed to be a day, Killian.”

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anonymous asked:

holy shit, that sole being tortured one ruined me. good job! could we possibly get a follow up with the aftermath of the torture? I'm all for angst but please don't make it too angsty, I don't think my heart could take it.

(Lol it was torture to write badum tss. But thanks. Hopefully this isn’t too angsty? I can’t tell anymore, it gets away from me sometimes)

Hancock- He plies them with all the liquor and chems they need to make the pain ebb, but he’s mindful of just how much they take. Wouldn’t help anyone if they got out of that den and overdosed a few days later. Goodneighbor is closest, so he lets them sleep in his room until they can get up and around on their own. “Wasn’t your fault,” he tells them quietly a few days later as they laid curled up under his sheets (in a position he’s had dreams of a couple of nights, under happier circumstances). “Ain’t nothing you could have done to keep it from happening. You know that, right?” They hesitate, leaving it to hang a long moment without an answer. He squeezes their arm tenderly. “I want you to remember that.” He leans forward, presses a firm kiss to their forehead and stands. He checks with Fahrenheit to make damn sure not a single rat escaped that nest of sadistic fucks. He hopes Sole sleeps a little easier with them gone.

Nick- He stays close enough to catch them when they stumble. “Take it easy.” They fight him, say they need to get to Sanctuary as soon as possible, that they have work to do, but Nick coaxes them into sitting and taking a breath. “Don’t push yourself. After everything…” He sighs, a hand resting against the back of their neck, cradling their head. “No one expects you to be a superhero all the time. If you need time, you take it. The world won’t fall apart without you for a little while.” They stare at him with slowly crumbling defiance, until they can no longer hold it together under the weight of his gaze. They sink forward against his chest, and he strokes their head in loose circles until the tears come.

MacCready- He hates himself. As much as he wants to be there for Sole, he can’t look at them. He makes sure they’re taken care of, well fed and healing properly, but beyond that, he stays at arm’s length. He can’t see anything but his failings in the bruises and barely healed cuts on their cheeks. He’s just reminded of everyone he’s let down in his life, Sole being the newest addition to that list. He speaks in clipped sentences and sits far on the other side of the campfire from them, hugging his rifle in his lap. Sole tries to coerce a conversation out of him, but like the nights before, he keeps his answers short. “Robert.” He twitches slightly. He knows what they’ll say even before they say it; “What’s going on with you?” MacCready huffs, “Of course you’d ask me that. You get butchered and you ask me what’s wrong.” They blanch at his response, but it’s started now and he can’t stop. “I should have… I don’t know what I should have done. I should have kept them off you.” He wipes stubbornly at the fat blobs of salt water welling in the corners of his eyes. “God, and I’m so damn selfish, I haven’t even thought about how you much worse you must feel…” Why did Sole put up with him? Why did Lucy, or 101, or anyone ever put up with him? They wrap around him from behind and his eyes grow wide. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly, clinging to their arms, “I’m so sorry, Sole…”

X6-88- He doesn’t even ask; Once they’re both free and clear, he relays them both to the Institute. He doesn’t trust any waster with their care. Sole is taken to the medical wing and X6 is taken for repairs of his own. His injuries heal a lot easier than theirs. “Sir/ma'am,” he begins as they both sit on a bench in the lobby, near the shade of artificial trees, “Are you feeling well?” They are still covered in gauze, but X6 is assured the recovery process has been expedited considerably. “I’ll live. You?” “I saw it again. When I was sleeping.” His fingers curl against his lap. “I believe there is an anomaly in my programming. I have been considering turning myself in for assessment before it gets any worse. It could be a threat to the safety of you and the Institute if I am unable to perform my duties at an optimal level. Not only that… but in allowing you to come to harm, I failed my highest priority mission. You would be better off in the care of someone else.” They lay their hand over his. “If I ordered you not to get reprogrammed, would you have to do what I do say?” His brows knit at the question. “If I believe I am becoming a danger, then it would be irresponsible of you to give me such an order. But… if it was given…. I would be obligated to follow it.” “Then it’s given.” He stares at them from behind his sunglasses, observing the purple bruises flaring down their temple, and the way they frown at him. In this instance, he could easily circumvent their wishes. It would be the wiser decision in the long run. But he turns forward, staring at the reflections in the glass floor. He doesn’t want to forget them as much as they don’t want him to forget. “Very well,” he complies. For better or worse, he would hold onto the experience he’d like nothing more than to forget.

Danse- It’s difficult to move on from something like this, but Sole keeps moving. He admires them even more than before, and not just as a soldier. He insists on carrying most of the junk they (for some reason) always want to lug around and keeps them both on the routes which pose the less danger. If they find a fight, he takes point. If they look weak, he insists on a Stimpak. If the sun goes down, he stops them and sets up camp. They express with some annoyance that they liked it much better being the leader than the follower. “It’s only temporary. Just until you’re back in fighting shape.” He gives them a portion of his rations, and takes the first watch while they sleep, as he has for the last five nights. His caution near borders on paranoia, but there’s no way in hell he’s letting it happen again. He’d sooner die than see them in that position again.

Curie- She whispers curses and has to flick away the dewdrops on her lashes as she’s tending to Sole’s wounds. “I do not understand humanity at times. People should not hurt others like this. For any reason!” She’s confused, a little afraid, and every time she looks at the crosshatch of stitches, she finds her eyes watering again. She feels compelled to lay a kiss just above one of the cuts on their back and sigh against their skin. “I am so sorry this happened to you.” She’s gentle in her care for their injuries, but firm when she tells them they absolutely must stay on bedrest for awhile, and even if she needs to hold them down to keep them put.

Piper- She delivers on that promise of an ice cold Nuka Cola once they’re back in Diamond City. She makes sure the doc patches them up and curls up with them on the couch once they’ve got the greenlight to head home. Nat knows something very bad happened, so she keeps her distance and stays quiet, excusing herself to go upstairs and finish her homework. Piper pets Sole’s head as they lay in her lap. The glowing bottle of soda is left on the table, untouched. “We can talk whenever you’re ready. Talk helps.” At least, it usually did. She leans her head back, lightly runs her nails up and down their scalp until they both fall asleep. Nat makes them breakfast in the morning. It almost feels normal.

Deacon- “I think you look at least ten percent hotter. Scars are total sex magnets.” He runs his thumb around the burn wound, skirting the edges just enough that he doesn’t cause them pain. “You know what… it looks a little like a bunny.” Sole laughs, then immediately asks that he not make them laugh as they replace the bandages around their waist. What other choice does he have? If he doesn’t hear it, he’ll have nothing to focus on but the pain of his own wounds and their limping gait, both things he’d really like to forget for awhile. “You’re a real badass now. Nobody can call themselves a secret agent until they’ve been roughed up a little by bald guys with the ‘sinister big bad’ starter pack.” He slings an arm around their shoulders on the trip back to HQ. Both because he needs to remind himself that they’re here, they’re still alive, and so they can lean their weight against him to alleviate the hobble in their step. He prods them over the course of the next few weeks whenever they need to apply a Stimpak, a dose of Med-X, or a change of bandages.

Codsworth- He insists Sole lay down the moment they reach Sanctuary, and doesn’t let them get up for anything. Even trips to the bathroom are a battle, with Codsworth not wanting them to move an inch and Sole not wanting to piss in a bottle. He brings them breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed, and on the sparing few occasions they absolutely need to get up, he’s there to be their crutch. “I was terribly worried about you,” he tells them as he’s folding and putting away clothes in a rickety handmade dresser. “I thought you… I thought I was going to…” Sole calls him over from his task to run their hand along his chassis. “I’m not going anywhere, Codsworth.”
“Please don’t. It was terribly lonely without you all that time… I would be quite… lost without you, sir/mum.”

Cait- She breaks three of her knuckles and fractures her orbital socket in the frenzied attack, but she insists it’s nothing compared to what Sole went through. After receiving treatment from a nearby settlement, Sole wakes up to Cait with an armful of liquor. She dumps them onto the bed and shoves a glass into their arms. “No better pain killer in the wasteland!” She fetches one for for herself and clinks it off Sole’s. “We’re gonna drink until we’re smashed, and then we’re gonna drink some more.” She opens up a bottle of bourbon and splashed a shot into both their glasses, and downs hers while Sole is staring at her. “Yeah, sounds like a great coping mechanism,” they chuckle dryly. “S'the only one that works worth a damn,” she rebuts, tipping the bottom of their cup up towards their lips.

Preston- He takes over many of the General’s responsibilities, and unless it’s of the utmost importance, he doesn’t bother them with it. He checks in every morning with the Castle’s doc to get a report on Sole’s condition, even after they’re well enough to get around by themselves, and ensures they have all the supplies to make Stimpaks and other meds. He wants to talk to them about it, make sure their mental condition isn’t as damaged as their physical, but his throat becomes unbearably dry whenever he tries. He finds them one day, standing on the Castle walls, as the sun was setting across the ocean and painting the waters with blazing color. He stands with them awhile, glancing between the visible scars and the majesty of the sunset. “I won’t let my guard down again, General. I promise.” His fingers wind around theirs and squeeze ever so slightly.

Dogmeat- He lays across Sole’s lap, and growls at anyone that comes close. Even settlers and friends in Sanctuary are warned to keep their distance. It serves Sole’s reclusive nature just fine after what they went through, and they’re glad to have company in solitude.

Strong- Human moves slow, tells him they “just need a minute”. He gets sick of it quickly, so he picks them up and places them on his shoulders, carrying them most of the way through the city until they reach the city with lights. “Other humans weak,” he tells them when they’re being treated, “If they were strong, woulda eaten you, like brothers do. But you alive.” He pats them on the back and pops at least a dozen stitches.

Prompt 02: late

Title: in due time

Prompt: 02 - late

Summary: It’s his turn to do the waiting.

A/N: I really like this one. :)

Konoha General is always exceptionally busy especially around the middle of the year. It’s summer and the hay fever had spread amongst the civilian and had somehow managed to infect even those among the shinobi ranks. It didn’t help that the annual shinobi check-ups are also held in the middle of the year and the Godaime had ordered all of her shinobi to be vaccinated so as to not risk contracting the virus and thus, decreasing the village’s able shinobi. Konoha could not afford to be short on skilled shinobi especially since mission requests had been flooding in due to the upcoming Summer Festival.

The people manning the reception desks looked to be thoroughly harassed and buried in stacks of papers of forms and records and phone calls. A sort of heavy sinking feeling settled deep within him as the lady he approached smiled apologetically at him and told him the missive. 

“Apologies, Uchiha-san. Haruno-sama won’t be able to meet with you any time today. Her schedule is tightly packed and she strictly ordered not to disturb her unless it’s urgent.”

He tilted his head in acknowledgement before he turned to make his way down the hall. He knew the moment he step foot in the building that he won’t be seeing Sakura anytime soon anyway. It seems the hospital is where the girl lives nowadays.

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“Coffee Beans” - YOI AU (1)

so instead of one giant coffee shop au fic i’ve decided to post random drabbles here and there in that universe. they’ll all be labeled with a number and they’ll go chronologically (unless i decide to write something from the past/future but i’ll give a heads up if that’s the case). here are some important things to know beforehand: 

  • there is no figure skating involved whatsoever (but i may do a cute ice skating victuuri date at some point)
  • since he’s not a professional athlete yuuri is the adorable chubby teddy bear we saw in episode 1, bless
  • the coffee shop is independently owned by celestino and is not a chain/franchise 
  • phichit works and lives with yuuri (they’re both international students who are studying abroad) 
  • victor is a businessman that travels a lot between russia and the u.s.
  • this entire thing takes place in detroit, michigan

there’s not a lot of snez in this first one because it’s mostly set up. there will definitely be more to come, however! c: (ps, i was totally listening to this cute song while i was writing and it definitely fits how yuuri feels, haha)

inspired by this comic by savi

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Misunderstandings | Jeon Wonwoo | Part 8/14

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo X Reader

Summary: You thought he was a devil worshipper, he thought you were a stalker. Turns out, both of you were wrong.

Genre: fluff/angst/comedy

Word Count: 2,017

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Jon and Daenerys Parallels

Season 1
Episode 1 - “Winter is Coming”

- We see that both Dany and Jon feel disconnected from their family. Jon of course because he’s a bastard and Dany because she feels powerless against Viserys.

- In contrast, Jon is kept away from the celebration welcoming King Robert, this angers him because he is once again being ostracized for being a bastard. Dany on the other hand is forced to attend the celebration of her wedding even as she begged Viserys to not make her marry.

- Both receive/find their animal companion:Jon finds Ghost and Dany is given the dragon eggs.

Episode 2 - “The King’s Road”

- While Drogo is rapping Dany she is looking at her dragon eggs which are surrounded by candles, as she looks into their fire we transition to Jon looking at the campfire. This is a clear connection between these two characters and probably a hint of Jon’s Targaryen heritage.

- The parallel here is the both lament the situation they find themselves in. Dany suffering in her marriage and Jon realizing that the Night’s Watch is nothing like he had imagined.

Episode 3  - “Lord Snow”

-We see the scene transition from Dany to Jon. In Dany’s scene she is learning to assert herself as a khaleesi, earning the respect of her followers (Dothraki as well as Jorah). In Jon’s scene with Benjen, he tells him, “a man gets what he earns when he earns it.” Later in the episode we see Jon working with the other recruits teaching them what he knows, and beginning to earn their respect.

-Tyrion is meeting with the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch and Maester Aemon, when the conversation is almost to an end Maester Aemon says: “When winter comes, gods help us all if we are not ready.” The scene then transitions to Dany’s dragon eggs. We then see Dany telling Drogo that they are having a boy, then we transition back to the Wall and Tyrion and Jon.

Episode 4 -  “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things”

-We begin with The scene in which Jon meets Sam, the coward, this scene then transitions to Dany riding alongside Jorah into Vaes Dothrak. Jorah complains about Ned Stark driving him from his land, to which Dany reminds him that he sold slaves.

-Second transition: Ser Allister is talking to Jon and Sam about winter and says to them “When you are out there beyond the Wall do you want a man at your back or a sniveling boy?” This then transitions into Viserys dragging Doreah into Dany’s tent, he attacks Dany but she hits him back, showing him to be a sniveling boy.

-We then transition back to Jon and Sam, Jon tells Sam that he almost had sex with the red-headed Ros! Ser Allister then comes in and after throwing some more insults says to Jon “Mance Rayder’s men are hard men, harder than Jon will ever be. Not quite true Ser Allister. Finally, we transition back to Dany and Jorah, they are both talking about going home. Dany confesses to Jorah that she doesn’t believe Viserys will ever be able to take her home.

NOTE: In this episode we see both Dany and Jon stand up for someone else and confront a bully. Jon stands up for Sam and confronts Ser Allister and Ralf while Dany on the other hand stands up to Viserys and defends Doreah.

Episode 7 - “You win or You die”

- The first transition goes from the assassination attempt against Dany to Jon being selected as Stewart to the Lord Commander.

- Second transition from Jon to Dany. Jon takes his oath in front of the Heart-tree this transitions to Dany talking to Jorah about punishing the wine seller and Drogo makes his speech promising his son the Iron Throne.

The symbolism going on in their scenes this episode was about being given a ‘gift’ that they don’t really understand the magnitude of yet. In both cases they are coming close to their future leadership roles but not in the way they expect. Jon is put out and sulky to be assigned a steward without realizing the leadership potential of being LC Mormont’s direct assistant. Daenerys on the other hand is given the gift of what she wants most from Drogo, to take back the Iron Throne. She expects fully expects this will happen and has no idea it will in fact be herself that follows through with Drogo’s promise much later.

Episode 8 - “The Pointy End”

- Ser Alliser taunts Jon about being a traitor’s bastard, Jon responds by lunging on his with a knife and Ser Alliser tells him, you will hang for this. Not really, but you will Ser Alliser, for being a traitor. Oh the irony. Later on Ghost senses the Wight and Jon burns his hand with a lamp while burning the Wight.

- We then transition to Dany who is in the Lhazareen village as the Dothraki are pillaging it. As Dany looks as the mayhem around her she asks Jorah to make the Dothraki stop raping and abusing the women. Jorah looks at her and tells her that she has a kind heart but this is how things have always been. Dany denies this but demands that Jorah make the men stop. I think this touches on an important theme in Dany’s story, which is that she doesn’t believe in maintaining the status quo. If something doesn’t seem right to her, she will do her best to improve it, no matter if it’s been done that way for hundreds or thousands of years.

After Jorah stops the men he tells Dany “You can’t save them all” to which Dany answers “I can and I will.” This will later be manifested in her campaign against Slaver’s Bay.

An interesting part of a parallel occurred in this episode or at least part of it. In this episode Theon asks Robb if he’s afraid (after he tells Maester Luwin to call his banners after Ned is arrested) to which Robb says “I must be” while he looks at his shacking hand. Theon says “good” and Robb asks “why’s that good?” to which Theon answers “ because it means you’re not stupid.”

This conversation is eerily similar to the one Dany has with Tyrion at the end of season 6x10, where Tyrion asks her if she’s afraid of entering the “Great Game” and Dany nods yes, to which Tyrion answers “Good, only mad men like your father are not afraid.”

Bringing this full circle Jon’s selection as King in the North in episode 6x10 is almost identical to Robb’s selection as KITN.

So, in the season finale of season 6 the show tied in both Dany and Jon to Robb, another young leader and monarch. Let’s hope that they at least end their lives in a better way than poor Robb’s.

Episode 9 - “Baelor”

- We only have one transition between the two this episode. We go from Jon and Aemon discussing choice to Dany in the Dothraki sea choosing to fight for her husband even though it’s clear he is dying. While Jon is being given the philosophical view of what it is to choose between love and duty, Dany is force to make that decision at that very moment.

Episode 10 - “Fire and Blood”

- We transition from Dany to Jon. First Dany wakes from her miscarriage to find out her child is dead, that her husband is a shell without a spirit and that MMD has betrayed her. Then we transition to Jon who is running away to join Robb. Then we have Jon’s friends stop him and recite the oath he made. We then transition back to Dany who is washing khal Drogo before smothering him. I’m not sure if there are any connection between these scenes.

-Finally the season ends with a transition between Dany and Jon. First Jon goes beyond the Wall with Lord Commander Mormont and the Night’s Watch. Then, we transition to Dany who is preparing the pyre for khal Drogo, gives her speech to her newly formed little khalsar, burns the pyre with MMD in it, enters pyre wakes up with dragons. The connection between the two being that they are about to embark in life-changing adventures. Neither of their lives will ever been the same after this.

General Parallels: Both Dany and Jon deal with the grief of loosing someone they love, Dany with Drogo and Jon with Ned. Also, Dany’s first scene lead’s into Jon’s first scene. Jon’s second scene lead’s into Dany’s second scene. Jon’s final scene lead’s into Dany’s final scene.

Season 2

Episode 1 - “The North Remembers”

-We find Dany in the Red Waste with the comet above her in the sky. Dany is talking to Doreah and says that no one will take her dragons. Yet, we will see that in Qarth they are taken from her by the warlock at the House of the Undying. Dany looks up at the sky and sees the comet and this transitions to Jon in the North at Crasters. Jon mouths off at Craster and Lord Commander pulls him aside. He asks Jon, “Do you want to lead one day?” to which Jon nods to which Lord Commander says “then you must learn how to follow.” It is important to note that Jon does want to be a leader, I think he wants that respect and acceptance, to earn it on his own right. We see him smile when he is elected Lord Commander, although, with a little trepidation. However, when we get into the King in the North scene he accepts but with a lot more trepidation. Now realizing how truly hard it is to be a leader.

- We have another scene with Dany in the Red Waste. Her people are starving and she doesn’t know what to do. She questions herself as a leader, because she cannot help her people, she cannot feed them or give them water. Jorah tells her that she must be their strength, and Dany asks Jorah to be her strength.

The scenes between Jon and Dany are both about learning to lead but in different ways. Jon needs to learn how to follow, being part of a military order before he can learn how to lead men. Dany having found herself leading already needs to learn how to take on the sorrows of her people, to be their strength, to give them hope when there is none.

Episode 2“The Night Lands”

-There was a great Jon and Daenerys book-ended set of scenes - and a potential parallel between Jorah/Jon that I feel will later come full circle in both loving Daenerys also.

At the end of the scene with Sam and Gilly … We see Jon reflect on his feeling of helplessness in doing what’s right for people. His honor is warring with his sense of duty and keeping peace with Craster. The scene then transitions to Jorah sighing the same as Jon was … only now it’s he who feels helpless as Daenerys and the Dothraki are suffering (no water or shelter). I liked this parallel between the honorable men and the people they love. Jorah’s love for Dany and Jon’s love for Sam. Both are honorable men who will later do anything to save those they love.

Episode 10 - “Valar Morghulis”
-In Dany’s visions in the House of the Undying she goes through the red keep to the Wall where Jon was at that very moment.

Season 3

Episode 10 - “Mhysa”

-Both Dany and Jon are carried. Dany by the newly freed slaves of Yunkai and Jon by his fellows brothers from the Nights Watch.

Season 4

Episode 9 “The Watchers on the Wall” and Episode 10 “The Children”

-Dany and Jon are left grieving and walking into an uncertain future. Dany chains away her dragons, afraid that they will harm another child. Jon buries Ygritte after the event at castle Black.

Season 5


-both are trying to incorporate a formerly persecuted group into the larger society. Facing opposition from the status quo, neither can seem to get both sides together.

Episode 2 “The House of Black and White” and Episode 3 “High Sparrow”

-Dany and Jon execute members of their “organizations”. Dany beheads Mossador for defying her orders and Jon beheads Slynt for defying his orders.

Episode 5 - “Kill the Boy”

-Jon seeks out Maester Aemon’s advice regarding what he should do about a difficult situation, this is paralleled but Dany seeking out Missandei’s advice about what she should do about a difficult situation. Both of their advices advice the, to follow their instincts. Additionally, both Dany and Jon release their prisoners in order to use them as allies. Also, there is the parallel of Sam and Missandei. Both of them are the “right-hand man” of each character and they are both in the mist of unorthodox romantic relationships.

Season 6

Episode 9 & 10 - “The Batlle of the Bastards” & “The Winds of Winter

-In episode 9 while Dany is speaking with the slavr masters she tells the “My reign has jus began” . In episode 10 Jon is selected as King in the North, effectively the beginning of his reign.

Ice (death/cold/blue) and Fire (life/warm/red)- Jon x Dany

“I mean… Fire is love, fire is passion, fire is sexual ardor and all of these things. Ice is betrayal, ice is revenge, ice is… you know, that kind of cold inhumanity and all that stuff is being played out in the books.” - George R.R. Martin

Slow *Derek Hale Imagine* (Request)

Hi love!I’m obsessed with,I just cant stop reading your imagines!Anyway,I want to request something,if that’s okay?Could you do a teen wolf imagine where the reader is friends with benefits with Derek but eventually develop feelings for eachother?

Awe, thank you. You’re so sweet! And of course it’s okay.

Slipping into my jeans I looked around the room to find my shirt.

“On the left.” The voice I had become so accustomed to instructed. Turning I smiled slightly grabbing the white distressed tee and threw it on over my head. “Leaving so soon?” A shirtless Derek walked down the stairs towel in hand rubbing it on his hair.

“Well some of us have roles they need to fulfil in society. Can’t spend all of our time hanging out with teenagers.” I grabbed my bag. I turned to see he was now fully clothed.

“Not staying for coffee?” He threw the towel onto the bed I had spent time making.

“That’s breaking the rules.”

“So is making up my bed. And getting me breakfast.” He pointed towards his coffee table. “Plus, I don’t hang out with teenagers.”

I opened the steel doors to see two, young but attractive boys accompanied by a dark haired girl. I looked back at Derek moving out of the way so they could get in “You were saying.”

“Yeah, but they’re pretty mature for their age,” we turned our attention to them to see the pale one scrummaging through Derek’s breakfast. “Well most of them.”

“Listen, I had fun, but I should get going.” Without thinking I pecked him on his lips murmuring “See you later.”

What I had done hadn’t hit me until I had safely made it to work and hour and a half later. Not when I walked into my home, not while I showered, not even when I drove up the highway. But instead, the realization of my actions occurred while I was presenting an idea to a few board members. “Shit” Had been audible as was the shock on their faces been recognizable but I had managed to carry on but had quickly retreated to my office to bury my head in my hands and curse myself out in a very colorful manner.

A knock at my door caused me to shoot out of my chair.

“There are a few people here to see you.”

“But I don’t hav-”

“I know. But they said it was important, plus the scrawny one scares me.” I looked at her retreating back before I heard mumbling and what sounded like a struggle before my office doors reopened to see the same two boys from Derek’s loft enter quietly.

“Hi.” The puppy eyed one started.

“We’re Scott and Stiles, but you probably already know that.” He pointed to themseleves respectively.

“Sounds familiar.” More than familiar, because of their unannounced visit I had been forced to stay upstairs for three hours in nothing but a flimsy towel and wet hair.

“We just came, to get to know you.” Scott carried on.

“Normally, the people Derek seem to sleep with always end up killing or maming someone.”

“He just told me he had psycho exes.

“I mean sure, you could sugar coat it.” Stiles shrugged. “Do you mind if we sit?”

Nodding, I joined them. “Listen, I don’t know why you’re here but I can assure you that I’m as sane as I possibly can be, and I can’t even stand the sight of blood, so all good.”

“It’s just we wanted to get to know you-”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but what goes on between Derek and I is none of your business. I mean it’s sweet that you’re both so” I paused to find the right word “involved with his life but there really is no need.” I looked up at the clock knowing I had to meet with my boss to discuss this morning’s events “Now if you would excuse me, I have a job to get fired from.”

As they got up Stiles paused at the door “Listen, Derek scares me on levels beyond man, but he’s not as tough as he puts himself off to be. We just want you to know that, and if you’re going to leave don’t delay it for his sake, because that’ll make it all the lot worse.”

I nodded “Noted.” With that both boys left leaving me to deal with my thoughts.


Driving I had gone through all the routines but had found myself at Derek’s instead of at my own home. I had made it up the the loft’s door before I could figure out that I was at the wrong place. Turning I was greeted with Derek effortlessly carrying a few bags.

“Hey.” I waved slightly.

“Hey, did I miss something?”

“Uh no, I just came to you know apologize, for this morning.” He looked at me strangely “You know, the thing where my lips touched yours in a hurried manner.”

“You mean the kiss?” He nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah um, that.”

“Do you want to come in?” He moved over to open the door.

“It’s pretty late and I’m kind of hungry. And then it would be a long drive if I stayed.”

Holding up a bag “There’s enough for two. And I mean you have some clothes over here.” He walked in “But if you don’t want to be here, all you have to do is say the word.”

“No, I want to, it’s just that I don’t want to impose.” I said form out the doorway.

“If I thought you were imposing I wouldn’t have invited you in.” He placed the bags on the table.

I laughed nervously. “I guess you’re right.” I walked in slowly.

“Is everything alright?” Derek questioned as I closed the door. I turned to see he was a lot closer that I previously thought causing me to jump slightly.

“Yeah, just a bit jittery.”

“Uh huh,” Derek nodded closing the space between us. I moved back causing him to move closer. Soon I felt my neck touch the back of a very cold surface. Derek’s eyes glanced above me “I’ve never seen your hair up before.” I nodded but he continued “Normally its cascaded on my pillow or, between my fingers, sometimes its hanging above me as you move up and down my di-”

“Okay!” My voice cracked as I pushed him off of me. He laughed slightly as I looked down suddenly feeling small.

His chickles died down before I felt warm hands hold my hands. “What’s going on, normally you would have chewed me up for something like that.”

“I- I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“ What do you mean?”

“I mea-”

“Look at me!”

“It’s just tha-”

“Look at me!” His hands hit the door causing me to flinch and it felt as if the door had  trembled as well.

I held up my head looking him in the eyes “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“You’re lying.” I shook my head “Bullshit Y/N. What’s really going on?”

“It’s nothing, it’s just that.” I felt my eyes well up. “I just can’t.”

“Tell me the truth.”

“I’m trying! I’m really trying, but this feels less casual and more like a relationship.” I found my voice.

“Is that what you’re trying to get out of?”

“You made it clear when we first met that you weren’t looking for one.” I remembered one of the few conversations we had.

“Because that’s what I thought you wanted.” Derek’s voice quieted down slightly.

I looked down at the ground Derek’s rough hands finding mine. “Is that what you want?”

“I’m still trying to figure that out myself.” He sighed out.

“I think we moved too fast, I mean on paper it was a good idea, but we just got too close.” I thought back.

“So how about we slow down for a bit?”

“How slow?” I looked up at him.

“As slow as you need.”

Nodding I smiled up at him. “I’d really appreciate that.”

Save a Lot {Kylo Ren}

[PART 1 OF 2]

Companion Piece: Lose a Little

Anon asked: Can you do an imagine where the reader and Kylo are best friends since childhood and they both are on a mission and they get in deep trouble and the only way to make it out is by pretending they’re a couple and by proving it they kiss and they feel this deep connection.

dracvmalfoy asked: kylo imagine where u are part of the resistance but u knew him before he went dark?(: thanks!

A/N: OK, so for background, Ben’s been using the Force for several years, but he’s never done intensive training with Luke. I’m not usually going to be doing series or two-part fics so this is exciting for me. 8.5k words over the two; WOW. Let me know your thoughts!

This was your mission. General Organa - Leia, she’d said you could call her Leia - had given it to you specifically and you wouldn’t let a little thing like Ben Solo get in your way.

“I’m a Jedi, [Y/N]; so tell me why they didn’t ask me?” Why he had followed you all the way to Nal Hutta was beyond you, but nevertheless, here he was, three steps behind, wearing a black cloak that was too big, even for him, and the beginnings of a smile curling at the edges of his lips.

“You’re a Padawan, there’s a difference, Ben.” You retorted, voice loud and condescending, playful smirk on your lips. He rolled his eyes pointedly, swatting you away. “Does your mom even know you’re here?” The way Ben avoided your gaze was answer enough and you clapped your hands together excitedly, smirk spreading into a full grin. As close as you and Ben were, you would never pass up potentially annoying him. He was your best friend, after all.

“Don’t be like that.” He huffed, defensive. “Isn’t this place a little dangerous for you?” Tugging his hood further down his face, your proximity to him was the only thing that meant you could see his raised eyebrows. You nudged his ribs, fond smile on your face.

“Are you concerned?” Though it was intended as playful, he had a point. As the two of you had been talking the amount of looks you had gotten from passers by had become worryingly frequent.

“What are you even doing here?” He asked, voice barely more than a whisper as the two of you turned down an alley, walking shoulder to shoulder. It’s nicer than you expected, given the situation, and you’re face with a relatively busy market, populated by loud, unsightly creatures and their horrifying wares. You’re only a few stalls in when you catch the briefest glint of shiny, white armour ahead. Ben pushes you against a wall hard enough that it hurts the back of your head, but before you can complain, he presses his hand to your mouth, the other braced on the wall beside you. His eyes are staring intently into yours, his face mere inches from yours- you can count the freckles on his nose.

“Stormtroopers.” He informed, and his voice is a hushed whisper. Despite the very real danger, you can’t help but roll your eyes at his theatrics, licking his hand to try and get him to remove it. He doesn’t, he simply glares at you. Calling him some less than pleasant names, your words are muffled by his hand, and it takes a few moments before he finally lets go. You’re ready to complain or tease him, whichever comes first, but instead he moves closer, and you find yourself unable to look away. “Why are we here?” He growled.

“If you don’t know then you shouldn’t have come.” You hissed back, on alert and resisting the urge to kick him in the shin.

“If you don’t tell me, I will simply take it from your mind.” His voice was suddenly a whisper in your ear and an involuntary shudder ran down your spine. “We both know I can take what I want.” You swallowed hard, unable to look at him. You felt like a live wire, electricity crackling in the air, in the way he looked at you.

“We both know that’s not true.” You murmured, mocking his deadpan tone whilst trying to slow your suddenly racing heart. Swallowing thickly, you act on your impulse, wrapping your arms around him and burying your face into the crook of his neck, safely hidden by his hood. Ben’s breath catches in his throat, if only for a moment. “I’m here to get information.” Explaining your mission in a voice barely more than a whisper, Ben nodded. “Your father has a contact in Kanijklub who is offering information about the First Order;” He tensed at the mention of his father, but remained quiet, “before you ask, no, I don’t know what information. I’m just a middleman.”

After what feels like an eternity, you feel Ben wrap his arms around you and pull you close. “This is dangerous.” His voice was barely audible, and you’re not entirely sure what he’s referring to, only that you agree. Not that you’d give him the satisfaction; this was your mission after all.

You’ve made it dangerous.” Sighing, you shake your head, voice remaining quiet and level. Of course Ben has to go and make it sound like an exciting case of espionage, he always had a flare for the dramatic. Serious expression on your face, you lean back in order to look Ben in the eye, cupping his jaw to keep up the intimate ruse. “Look at my face, Ben.” You insisted, though there was something akin to amusement in his eyes. “It’s a good face. People trust this face. That’s why General Org- Leia asked me and not you.” If he leaned into your touch as your thumb grazed his cheek, neither of you mentioned it. In the meantime, he made an unflattering noise, pouting.

“What’s wrong with my face?” He asked, though it was closer to a whine. You snorted, tapping his cheek affectionately before wrapping your arms around his neck..

Nothing, but you’re tall and have this, like, brooding air. The contact is apparently very skittish; you don’t exactly put people at ease.” You mused, eyes shining with amusement of your own.

“What did I do to warrant this?” He groaned, mock offended as you giggled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Springing up onto the tips of your toes, you brush his hood to the side and perch your chin on his shoulder, trying - and failing - to look nonchalant as you surveyed the alleyway. The Stormtroopers were nowhere to be seen, thankfully, but a woman selling suspicious looking meats looks pointedly from you to Ben and winks exaggeratedly. Gross.

“They’re gone.” You announced quietly, slipping from his embrace like nothing had happened. The pink tint to his cheeks leaves you quietly triumphant and it takes him a moment to think before he falls into step behind you. You make it through the alley with little fuss and no more Stormtrooper sightings, quietly bickering the entire time until the main road of the city comes into view. It’s not impressive by any standard, but it is Nal Hutta, so there’s not really a lot to expect. It’s a relatively bustling street, smog thick in the air, the sleazy cantina across the street oozing with patrons and their poor decisions, even for what passed as an afternoon on this world. That was the designated meeting spot between you and the Kanjiklub informant; you were not especially pleased.

“You weren’t just chosen because of your face.” Ben, always willing to push a delicate subject, is looking at you rather than the street. “I know what you’re thinking-”

“No you don’t.” You cut him off, rather impatient. Speeders were zooming past at every moment and you had to time your crossing just right.

“And you’re not insignificant.” He growled, and you clenched your jaw, finally dragging your gaze away from the traffic, to Ben, who was looking at you with his big, brown eyes like you hung stars in the sky. You two had always given each other hell, but it was well documented that you would go above and beyond for Ben; for him to be so openly doting upon you, something was different.

“Listen, they chose me, because if this deal goes south, nobody important gets hurt. It’s me not General Organa that’s in the line of fire here. Lose a little to save a lot.” You shoved his shoulder, trying not to think about the meaning behind your words. “That’s why they didn’t ask you.” You dropped your gaze to your hands, away from Ben’s pitying expression.

He’s quiet for a long moment.

“Go back to your ship, Ben. Go home.” You insisted, and left a quiet Ben Solo in the alley. The bartender at the cantina regarded you cruel, cold eyes, offering little more than a smirk and a head nod towards a back door when you offered up the passphrase. It was quieter outside, simply a dimly lit back alley with a broken sanitation droid and a man with an uncomfortably spiky hairdo. His casual posture against the wall juxtaposed the gun in his hands, cocked and aimed directly at you.

“This reminds me of home.” You could barely speak for your heart in your throat, but something eased in the man’s stance as he looked you over, analysing you with calculating eyes.

“Then you must have lived in a dump.” He snapped back, still hostile, but relaxing his grip on his blaster. The important thing was that he had said his return phrase and it seemed Ben’s terrible sense of humour was hereditary.

“Delphi Kloda?” You asked tentatively, and he nodded, gaze flicking to the end of the alley. You turned instinctively, but no-one was there.

“[Y/N]? Are you alone?” He asked as you turned back. Little red signal flares began to go off in your mind and your hands itched to grab your blaster. All you did was nod.

“As was arranged.” You confirmed, throat feeling dry though your palms were sweating. “And you?” He hesitated before nodding.

“Of course.” There was a pause. He seemed uncomfortable, and while it was expected, it still served to put you on edge. “Where is the money?” You would do all you could not to prolong this encounter, and as such, you didn’t hesitate to reach into your pocket to pull out an envelope of credit and subtly check that your comlink was still on you. He took the envelope with twitching fingers, counting diligently until satisfied. You both turned at the sound of a scuffle coming from the end of the alley; your heart sank at the sight of Ben’s familiar face. He was being dragged by his collar by a man, similar in both build and attire to Kloda, who adjusted his gun, his glare shifting between yourself and Ben,.

“I found him skulking around, he was asking… questions.” The man - the guard, you had figured - had a voice that was more of a gravelly growl, his grip didn’t seem inclined to loosen on Ben’s shirt and Ben himself seemed oddly restrained. Your informant was giving you furtive glances.

“Do you know this boy?” He asked. You swallowed thickly, avoiding Ben’s gaze and making a snap decision.


Kloda hummed thoughtfully before gesturing to the guard with a dismissive flick. “Kill him.” You finally meet Ben’s eyes and you realise you’ve made the wrong decision just as the guard’s poised with his blaster.

“Stop!” He hesitated, gun hovering by Ben’s temple, and the padawan looks as though he’s considering some very unJedi-like courses of action. Kloda narrowed his eyes at you, waiting impatiently for an explanation. “I thought… I thought if you thought… that I didn’t know him, that he would be spared.” You babbled.

“You did not come here alone.” He snarled, baring his teeth at you.

“Looks like we both lied about that.” With a hardened resolve, you cocked your hip, glaring at the guard rather than the informant himself.

“So…” Seemingly put out, the informant’s lips curled into a sneer, though he was substantially calmer. “Who is he?”

“His name’s Ben-” Answering automatically, Kloda cut you off with an angry bark of laughter.

“I don’t care about that! Who is he to you?” He demanded, eyes boring holes into your, you felt yourself flinch under his intense gaze. So much for him being skittish.

“He’s my-” your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and for a moment you were lost for words. Who was Ben? Undoubtedly, he was your best friend, you had grown up together, there was no-one you trusted more. He was the son of your mentor, however you knew bringing the General into this would surely put a price on his head - you’d already made one bad decision today. “I love him.” You announced, avoiding looking at Ben and refusing to let your body give you away by something so base as blushing. Kloda made a noise of interest, adjusting his grip on his gun, and for a moment you were filled with terror. “If you hurt him in any way, you can bet that every pilot in the Resistence and every Stormtrooper in the First Order will know your name and what you’ve done, Kloda.” Snarling, you took a step towards him, bringign yourself to your full height in order to glower, “I’m gonna guess you’ve made a lot of people mad, and you know what? Ben and I saw some Stormtroopers earlier; would you like me to go get them?” You spat, and Kloda took a step back, masking his fear poorly with anger.

“The First Order would kill you.” He chuckled darkly. “You would give yourself up so easily? For the Resistance?” He asked, your eyes flicked to Ben, who looked as though he was trying as hard as he could to remain calm and focused.

“For him.” It was the truest lie you had ever told. “The Resistance would continue without me, but they would hunt you down. Lose a little to save a lot.” With conviction in your voice, your reasoning was solid; you weren’t sure if they would call your bluff, but so far they seemed to be buying it. “Let him live.” You commanded. Ben stumbled towards you when the guard finally relented and let him go. Kloda held out his hand to keep him from getting close.

“The one who sent you here, he owes us a great deal, they say he has a son; a Jedi named Ben.” Voice is low and contemplative, he can’t see Ben’s expression struggling to remain serene as if he wasn’t moments from throwing caution to the wind and bolting out of there.

“Ben Solo?” You asked, voice filled with a disgust, for a moment, Ben looks hurt before he realises your ploy. “He is may be a Jedi, but he is also insufferable.” Pointedly rolling your eyes, you cross your arms defensively.

“Surely you know that Jedi are forbidden from falling in love.” Ben added, frowning at your apologetic look, guilt flowing through you before the next words were out of your mouth.

“Though whether he is capable of such complex emotion is up for debate.” Derision heavy in your tone, Ben visibly winced. You’d apologise later.

“Do others share your disgust?” It was the most unsettling thing, to see Kloda looking as though the information he was receiving was gilded and giftwrapped. Humouring him was the only option, if only to keep Ben alive.

“With a father like Han Solo, do you really need to ask?” Ben looked as though he was stuck between being offended and agreeing with you, but Kloda let him go, too pleased with this tidbit to be harbouring any ill will. “Now, the information.” With your hand aloft, waiting for the data storage device, the two of you exchanged formal pleasantries.

“As always,” Kloda, with a smile that looked more like a grimace, watched as the guard deposited the data storage device in your waiting palm, “a pleasure doing buisness with you.” His awkward nod was abrupt and immediate dismissal for both yourself and Ben, and you couldn’t be more pleased. Ben himself simply refused to look at you, wearing an unamused glare like a king’s crown.

“Don’t be mad at me.” Your voice was quiet as you snatched Ben’s hand, the two of you heading down the alley to the side street it lead to. He looked down at your joined hands and didn’t seem inclined to untangle them, his expression softening.

“I could have taken care of myself.” He insisted, quietly bitter about the standoff. He didn’t like feeling helpless, least of all against those he knew he could easily best. Kloda and his guard were feigning a conversation behind you, whilst watching yourself and Ben through narrowed, unimpressed eyes.

“In any other situation, that’s true, but if they discovered who you really were, neither of us would have made it out of there.” Squeezing Ben’s hand affectionately, you hoped he could see your side. He came to an abrupt stop, turning to face you, and you look up at him with confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“The guard’s not buying it. He never bought it.” His gaze isn’t upon you, but rather upon the wall to your left. You touch his cheek softly, his expression is conflicted but he leans into your touch.

“I think I know what we have to do.” Voice a hushed whisper, you take in a deep breath. “If you do this, you’ll be saving my life - saving this data storage device - and all it’ll cost you is a little bit of dignity.” He chuckled quietly, his expression fond as he looked at you. “Ben, please,” you whispered, “at least pretend that you love me.”

“Okay.” He agreed, and kissed you. Hard. Much harder than you had expected. It may be that he was still harbouring bitter feelings about what you said to Kloda about him - about Ben Solo - but it didn’t matter. This was Ben, you trusted him unconditionally, he was your closest friend, you’d do anything to make him happy. And now, here he was, kissing you, and everything felt right. You kissed him back, gasping into the kiss as he bit your lip softly, backing you up until your back hit the wall, much softer than before.

“What are we doing?” There’s a smile on your face that says that you don’t really care for an answer, but Ben smiles back, the playful smile that had drawn you to him in the first place. He was often conflicted, but that smile was a beacon of light.

“I’m saving your life.” He teased, his voice low and husky. Heart beating painfully in your chest, your gaze flicked to where you had last seen Kloda and his guard. They weren’t there.

“He’s gone.” You whisper, gaze locking with Ben’s. The ways his eyes sparkle makes your stomach flip and he cocks his eyebrow, barest hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Do you care?” His question startled a laugh out of you and you can see the ways his eyes light up at the sound of it. Shaking your head fondly, you answer.

“Not at all.” And you lose yourself in his embrace; if you could stay forever in this moment, you would, just the two of you, his lips on yours, away from prying eyes and annoying pilots. It’s with a jolt that you realise you’re being lifted off of the ground, and not by Ben… well, not entirely by Ben. He stumbles back when you shove him, though you spent a moment suspended in mid air before gravity kicks in. “Were you using The Force to lift me up?” Half-annoyed, half-impressed, you take a moment to scramble to your feet and smooth out your clothes. At Ben’s semi-guilty murmurs, you rolled your eyes. “Come on, we should be heading back anyway.” He looks as disappointed as you feel, but only for a moment.

“On the way back, we’re going to have a serious talk about your allegations towards my Jedi abilities.” He huffed, falling easily back into your old routine. You meet his statement with a groan, though the familiarity of the banter makes your heart sing.

“Come on, Ben, you know that I only said that to get Klado off my back.” Whining, you took a moment to pause and shoot him a grin. “Though I think the bit about Jedi not being able to fall in love was a nice touch.” Immediately after the words left your mouth, your eyebrows knitted into a frown and you cleared your throat loudly. “Don’t think about that too hard.” You murmur, more to yourself than to Ben, who simply barked out a laugh. “I can’t believe you honestly relied on the stupidity of Kanjiklub to keep you alive.”

“It’s the only consistent thing about them.” He insisted, casually. Shaking your head, you let out a heavy, mocking sigh.  

“You know that’s not true.” You groaned, and he grabs your hand, stopping you in your tracks. His expression is unusually deadpan when he turns to you.

“They’ve twice failed to capture my father, twice, [Y/N].” He murmured, and all you could do was laugh. His expression softened and the two of you continued on. The stories of General Solo’s somewhat unorthodox business ventures were well worn, more like bedtime stories than thrilling sagas to ones who had heard them as often as you two had. It’s nice, though, the thought that some things never change.

Neither of you feel the need to mention the kiss again, not on the flight back to D’Qar, not over dinner in the mess, not when neither of you can sleep and spend the night looking up at the stars. You definitely don’t mention the kiss when he’s kissing you again. It’s been a week since your mission and spending nights atop base is surprisingly pleasant. The world around you is asleep, but the moon is bright and so are his eyes.

“I love you.” You tell him, nervous as anything and unwilling to let it show.

“I know.” He responds automatically, visibly wincing. It looks for a moment as if he regrets saying the words at all, you can feel your heart drop, but he adds, “I mean, I love you too.”

You don’t talk about it because feelings are messy and complicated Ben’s your best friend; you don’t want things to be messy and complicated, but the world doesn’t work like that and hard choices have to be made.

“My mother wants me to train with Luke.” He’s not looking at you, rather at the stars above. They’re beautiful tonight. “I’d be away for a long time.” If there was a time in your life in which you could feel your heart as it stopped beating in your chest, this would be the moment.

“To become a Jedi?” He nodded. You hoped that he couldn’t hear how shocked you were. “You-” throat feeling very dry all of a sudden, you thought very carefully about your next words. “You should go.” It hurts to force the words from your mouth, but you promise yourself that you won’t react. Ben frowns. “Being a Jedi is more important-”

“Don’t say it’s more important than you.” He finally turns to you, and there’s that conflict in him that’s always been there. You made mistakes on Nal Hutta, you couldn’t do that again.

“We both know it’s true, Ben.” You murmured, and his kiss is so sweet, so caring that you want him to stay, but he can’t. The Force was bigger than you, you couldn’t deny it. “You should go. I don’t mind.” You lied.

“[Y/N]…” This was… unexpected. Part of him hoped that you would want him to stay, but in the back of his mind he knew that you would do whatever it took to keep him safe, to keep him thriving, even if it meant damaging yourself in the process. Lose a little to save a lot, as you would say.

Continuing the Jedi line was far more important than some pilot, everyone in the Resistance knew that, even Ben Solo. So neither of you talk about whatever this is the next day, and part of you is thankful when Ben doesn’t mention your red rimmed eyes when he’s boarding the shuttle. You’re struck with an unreasonable feeling that he’s taking something dear from you; it’s not his fault, it’s not anyone’s fault, but he still looks at you with sad apologetic eyes. Ben hugs you tighter than strictly necessary when the shuttle’s about to leave, telling you he’d be back to see you when he could, murmuring apologies. You kiss his cheek when he lets you go, tears now welling in your eyes.

“It’s OK, I’ll see you again.” You insist, and his smile falters, but he nods. Remember, you remind yourself, you chose this.