he goat

harry potter rated by mentions of goats
  • philosopher’s stone: mentioned that a bezoar can be obtained from the stomach of a goat which would be pretty solid except its mentioned in the context of snape being a dick to some eleven year olds. the goats didn’t give up their magic healing kidney stones for this. 3/10
  • chamber of secrets: no mentions. 0/10
  • prisoner of azkaban: no mentions. 0/10
  • goblet of fire: both karkaroff and young dumbledore are described as having goatees, a type of facial hair that, unless you’re idris elba or brad pitt or someone, is probably best left to goats. first mention of my main man aberforth and his fondness for goats, though unfortunately phrased in a way that convinced half the readers he fucked a goat. 5/10
  • order of the phoenix: a nice bit foreshadowing in which the hogs head smells like goats. unfortunately, there’s also a mention of the giants eating dead goats. a harrowing image. -5/10
  • half-blood prince: harry reads the half-blood prince’s tip about bezoars and with some truly stunning information retention, remembers what snape said about them being an antidote to most poisons + coming from the stomach of a goat in their first ever potions lesson. i am so proud of him. harry uses this totally unprecedented feat of academic success to flunk out on doing any actual work and piss off hermione. worth noting that harry also uses a bezoar to save ron’s life, begging the question, would the wizarding world be ruled by voldemort and all of our faves be dead if it wasn’t for goats? the answer is yes. a monumental achievement for goats everywhere. we owe them so much. 20/10
  • deathly hallows: aberforth and his fondness for fiddling with goats returns. he apparently throws goat dung at people in times of stress- what a guy. a goat patronus saves the day by looking kinda like a stag if you squint a bit. aberforth reminisces about feeding the goats with ariana. a touching, bittersweet moment. all around a pretty good time for goats. 10/10

These are humans from another galaxy. A Pathfinder.

“A Stray Chicken”

i find it interesting that Page Turner, the episode that introduced Hekapoo

also featured Marco reading Eclipsa’s chapter and … this

and her seeing the whole thing.

I wonder if she was remembering it during Running With Scissors?

A year ago today this little yellow dog arrived in my life. We were unsure of each other at first – it took some time for us to warm up to each other. There were instances early on when this tiny ball of fluff seemed too much for me and I was afraid I’d damage him. But, over this admittedly short amount of time (in the grand scheme of things), we have built love and trust and strength and we both work hard to maintain it.

Luca has brought a lot of light and joy into my life this past year and I didn’t realise how much I needed that, nor how much I value it. He is young and he is good and I know he’ll be curled around my heart for the rest of my life.