he gave us a chance

Logan spoilers

THAT MOMENT WHEN LARA TURNED THE CROSS ON HIS GRAVE INTO AN X FUCKED ME UP. IT JUST STRAIGHT UP FUCKED ME. I’M FUCKED. I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS. SHE CALLED HIM DADDY. SHE WAS TAUGHT NOT TO SHOW ANY EMOTIONS AND SHE KNEW HIM FOR A WEEK AND SHE SAW HIM AS A FATHER FIGURE. SHE READ ABOUT HIM IN COMICS AS A CHILD. SHE KNEW IT WAS HER FATHER. SHE KNEW HE WAS IN THE X MEN TEAM AND SHE ADORED HIM FOR THAT. HE GAVE HER A CHANCE TO BELIEVE SHE COULD USE HER POWERS FOR GOOD. SHE CRIED FOR HER DAD. SHE JUST WANTED HER FATHER. SHE BELIEVED SHE FINALLY FOUND HIM, THAT NOW THEY’LL HAVE A LIFE TOGETHER. SHE DIDNT WANT HIM TO GO, NOT SO SOON. I C A N T D E A L W I T H T H I S

The key to love, my father told me, was to never love someone more than they love you. So when, after dating for five months, Christopher Moore was the first to say “I Love You”, I thought I had hit the “Love Jackpot”. I say this because, prior to him saying it at that very moment, I had never given thought to the possibility that I could love him in return. Standing in front of my apartment building, nervous and excited, facing him and his smile, I questioned whether love was the word to describe what I was feeling. High school love, after all, is quite trivial with it’s ins and outs. Nevertheless after weighing the theoretical pros and cons of love, I decided that I was in love, at least in some respects. He was handsome, smart, sweet, and I enjoyed his company. This is what I believed love boiled down to; four factors. Honesty, clearly, was something I overlooked. About a year and 7 months into our blissful love affair, after graduation had passed and we had spent the summer taking all the cliché couple pictures, Chris decided that he “just couldn’t go on lying to me anymore. “Jenine” he told me “this guilt is eating me alive!”. I imagine there wasn’t much of him left, as it had been “eating away at him” for 6 months. This is when I learned that there is no “key” to love; no guide, no tips, no 101 course, because love is lived and learned; never taught. Try as you may, to forgo the pain of love, you’ll find joy in knowing that it’s survive-able and moreover, sometimes the good outweighs the bad. No, Chris wasn’t the love of my life, but he gave life to my ability to love.

“Never” my father said “let love override your faculty of reason.” Easier said, than done. My next love was Jeremy Bishop. Before you ask, of course there were others between Chris and Jeremy. But this is a story about love; not “almost loves”,“semi loves”, and “could’ve beens”. Jeremy’s love was the worst kind of love. The kind that doesn’t have a reason to exist but somehow it does and you’re glad. Its sole purpose is to debilitate your mind, forcing you to follow only your emotions. While Jeremy was dreamy, I learned that the man of your dreams can sometimes be the root of your nightmares.

I met Jeremy my junior year at _________ University. It was a Sunday and I had been studying in the library for an anthropology midterm and decided that I would take a break. Putting my highlighter down & flexing my hand I stood up & headed towards the bathroom. As I walked through the stacks, passing my hand across the rows of books I’d never read, my friend Denise spotted me and waved me over. Walking swiftly I made my way to the table she was stationed it & gathered that she had been studying all day as all. Splayed papers, open textbooks, two highlighters, & her laptop with several window open screamed “cram session” to me. After having sat & talked for some time about school & it’s “scammagry”, I noticed that someone had taken a seat at the end of the table. You know those typical movies where two people look up at the same time & smile coyly at one another? Well that’s what happened with us…….minus the smiling. When Jeremy & I caught eyes it was more of an inquisitive stare down. I relented because who really stares at a stranger for lengths at a time? Apparently Jeremy does because every time I looked up he was looking at me or perhaps through me. Whatever the case was I asked Denise if she could “Excuse me for one second?” as I got up from my seat and sauntered over to Jeremy, running my fingernails along the wooden table that both separated and joined us.

He was brown skinned but it was a rich brown that I often found myself lost in. He had brown hair that was cut low to avoid maintenance & also to spite his mother who so much loved it longer. His eyes were almost black they were so dark, yet you never asked someone to hit the lights when staring into them. He had a slight dimple on the right side of face that only presented itself in the presence of his mother, its creator.

“I know you or something?” I said, to which he looked up & responded “No you don’t. But since you’re already here, I’m Jeremy. Nice to meet you….” he said moving his hand in that circular waiting motion “this is usually the part where you tell me your name”. He was sarcastic & forthcoming and I liked it. “This is usually the part when I’d say Jenine. My name is Jenine. Though I’m not sure it’s nice to meet you.” “Well Jenine, do you have HIST 256 on Mondays & Thursdays? I think that’s where I’ve seen you before.” “Well Jeremy, had I known you were a stalker I would’ve stayed at the other end of the table” “A stalker Jenine? Really? I think you’re mistaking my keen eye for details.” “I stand corrected then. I just had no idea I was noticeable to your "keen eye”, I said, making air quotes. He leaned in & said, “Maybe Jenine, just maybe there’s a lot of things you don’t know. I’d be happy to fill you in though. If you were ever free.” “Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems to me, Jeremy, that you’re asking me out.” “It seems that way, because it is that way. But enough with this, would you be interested in going out?” “I’ll contemplate it.”

A week later Jeremy picked me up in his beat up silver 2010 Toyota Corolla. Got out & offered to close the door for me not because he was a gentleman but because I literally couldn’t close it myself. He told me he wanted to show me his favorite place in all of Brooklyn. We drove for about 15 mins and parked in DUMBO; my favorite place. As we walked to the pier he barraged me with every menial question from favorite color to top five movies. I stopped his questioning because I realized I knew nothing about him. “What about you?” I said. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.” “I’m a Taurus. Now back to you.” “Your sign. You gave me the third degree and in return you tell me your astrological sign??” “I’m really not that interesting. I kind of just go with the flow nothing special really.” “I could say the same about myself but you don’t see me spewing monotonous facts about myself” “That’s just it though. You’re very interesting. I see you twice a week & you never look the same to me. Always a different hairstyle, new lipstick, different outfit. You keep me guessing & well…I like that.” “Different outfit…Did you expect me to have the same clothes on like a cartoon character?”

Jeremy took my clothes off the way he took down my walls; slowly & intently. I never felt exposed or vulnerable. It was easy with him & who doesn’t like easy? The first time we had sex he kissed every scar and stretch mark on my body while he whispered beautiful and for the first time I believed it. This is when I knew I loved him; this is when I knew he loved me. We fell into a routine & inevitably, that’s how we fell apart. We saw each other four-five times a week in between work, school & our respective friends. I’d meet him after work or he’d meet me after class, we’d get some food or I’d cook, we’d talk, then go back to his dorm room or my house & somewhere in between there we’d fuck once or twice & that would be that. Talk, Eat, Fuck, Repeat. This, I should inform you, was the foundation for our dismantling. Jeremy grew tired of our monotony, I suppose, & because of that he started talking to a female customer who had “just so happened” to frequent his job. In talking they “just so happened” to find they had “so much in common” & somehow Jeremy’s dick “just so happened” to be in her mouth when I walked into his dorm room to get the spare phone charger I left there just in case. “Oh Mahh Gahhhh” is what Celeste said with his dick slighty tucked to the left side of her mouth because it wouldn’t have been polite to pull it out all together; though I’m sure there was no God she could ever call her own. Startled yet surprisingly indifferent I found my charger in the first drawer of his night stand now decoratively arrayed with ripped condom wrappers and I closed the door behind me.

Walking out of the apartment I didn’t feel anything but when I reached the stairs it hit me and when Jeremy came running out of his room, pulling his boxers up I looked up at him from the top stair I was sitting on & hit him right in the groin. “Shit! Ahh! Damn, J! Come on!” he winced . “Come on?? Excuse me?!? You’re such a fucking dickhead. Like what the fuck?” “I know. I know. I’m sorry babe. You gotta believe me! I swear it’ll never happen again.” & that’s what I wanted to believe after all; that this was just a bump along our road; that we could get through this because we could get through anything. So when Jeremy crouched down in front of me, put his hand under my chin, looked me right in the eye and told me he was “so sorry”, that he “really loved me”, that he was “mad stupid for doing that” I believed him & gave us another chance because I wasn’t ready to admit failure.

Celeste Soto was the average full figured broad who just “couldn’t help” falling for other women’s boyfriends, husbands, fiancés, you name it. Walking back into his room, I found her putting her left shoe on with one hand on his desk for balance. “You gotta believe mama” she said “I didn’t know he even had a girl. You feel me? I wouldn’t have done anything with him. Thas crazy disrespectful. My bad.” as she adjusted her bra strap and pulled her hair into a messy bun. Turning slighty towards Jeremy, I looked at him as if to say “really?!? THIS was the best you could do??” and he lowered his head, and stared at this one spot on the carpet that he could never get out. Not only had Jeremy cheated but he chose the lowest of women to do it with. “First of all, I’m not one of your friends so I don’t know why you’re calling me "mama” & no I don’t “feel” you nor do I intend to. Get your shit and get out!“ When she was gone I searched the apartment for remnants of her presence, prior to that days visit. An earring, a hair tie, maybe a lip balm. I found nothing or maybe I wasn’t really looking.

For eight months straight Jeremy was on his BEST behavior. He’d let me know where he was at all times as to ensure that he wasn’t out cheating; send pictures as proof on some occasions. I have to admit, though I was secure in his whereabouts, I was also sure that this was not how healthy relationships works. Nevertheless I looked forward to each notification because afterall "once a cheater……"you know the rest. One night I went over to his place to cook dinner, partially to ensure he wouldn’t be feeding Celeste or any other girl his penis but also because this is what I missed most about us. I had become so preoccupied with deciding whether or not I could trust him that I wasn’t concerned with trying to make us seem normal. After dinner we were in his bed tearing at each other’s clothes & after switching positions five times he looked down at me & said "I can’t do this”. Looking back at him I said “it’s cool I wasn’t feeling it either honestly”. “Not this” he said falling to my side, facing the ceiling “I mean like this….us”. Somehow though I knew that was what he had meant. This ball of something akin to both fear & anger welled up in my throat & grew until finally all I could say was “oh”. One tear fell from my eye & couldn’t allow myself to shed another. “This whole time” he said getting up from the bed “I wasn’t with you because I wanted to be. I was with you because I didn’t want to let you down.” He was pacing back & front at the foot of the bed, lifting his hands to his head then retracting them, looking over at me occasionally for assurance of my understanding. So he continued "I couldn’t let your last image of me be somebody who betrayed you. I had to prove you wrong & that’s selfish. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be in a relationship I’m not fully committed to. It isn’t fair to either of us J & you can hate me but I’d rather you hate me for being honest.” “Is this a joke? Please tell me you’re kidding right now” I said, half laughing half crying. “Let me get this straight” I said, sitting upright in his bed, pulling my shirt over my head “You cheated…..You lied…..YOU fucked up….You begged for another chance!…and my stupid ass gave you one. I’m just so lost right now.” This is when I realized I never should have sat on those steps & cried. I should’ve ran out of that building like it was on fire because guys like him will always burn you.

Some nights I could still hear his footsteps pacing the floor & I’d wonder when in the hell it would be over. When I’d stop crying; when I’d realize I was better off without him. But there’s this moment & I know it sounds cliche but you just wake up & you feel different you feel like you can begin again. One morning I woke up and knew Jeremy would never have a hold on me the way he did before, but more importantly I didn’t want him to.

The thing about baggage is that you never realize how much of it you carry around. In fact you assume that more often than not you don’t carry any at all because you’re “over it” or you’ve “moved on”. You’ll find yourself compromising because you just want someone to call at night; that wants only you. “Trust me.” my mother said “There will be others and don’t think that you have to look for them or that you have to settle.” My mother had a way with words. I’m not sure if that’s necessarily a good thing but the fact remains that when she said those words to me I wished she had kept her opinion to herself. I would never settle…..or at least I didn’t think I would.

I knew I didn’t love Benjamin the first time he came inside me & I wished I had never come to his apartment, let alone into his room splayed with dirty laundry that he was “gonna get to”. More importantly I knew I couldn’t love Benjamin, not the way I wanted to at least, when he told me I’m just like my mother. This sounds stupid I know, but let me explain.

After a week of working overtime, my best friend Selene dragged me out of my apartment for a night of bar hopping. Upon walking into our third stop, Benjamin grabbed my hand & told me I was pretty. That was it. There was no drawn out conversation, no playing hard to get, it was very low stakes. I gave him my number & before I got to the next bar he had called & asked when he could see me again. “Tomorrow” I said.

The next evening Benjamin showed up at my apartment with no plan other than to show up. We decided to see a movie.

The movie we saw doesn’t matter. Neither does the fact that we went to the movies. What matters is that after we left the movies, Benjamin grabbed both my hands & kissed me. When he stopped & I looked up at him he said “You taste like stale popcorn”. I thought “what the fuck?” & then he reminded me that we shared a popcorn. Our entirely relationship was like this; constant reminders of things I should have been aware of.

Ben was different from Jeremy because he never lied to me. That doesn’t necessarily mean that’s a good thing though. His honesty was one that I had to grow accustomed to. We had been dating for about two months, when I called him asking if he wanted to get dinner later & he simply replied “no”. No explanation, no rain check, no apology; he just hung up. Later he’d text me & say that we should get breakfast instead the next day because he liked being the first person I talked to in the morning. He never hid anything from me. Girls would text him, telling him how much they “missed him” how much “fun” they used to have & he’d show me his phone while laughing & ask what I thought he should say in his reply. It was almost inconceivable, how much he included me in his decisions when it came to other women. Co-workers would invite him out to dinner & drinks after work, over to their apartments, concerts & he would ask me, not if he could go (because he was going to do what he wanted regardless) or if I wanted to come with, but how I’d feel if he went it with them. We’d be waiting for our heart rates to drop back to normal after sex; our skin still dewy and tingling and he’d say “the last time was better” or “you faked it, but that’s cool” as he got up and ambled to the bathroom & I’d wonder if he had to be so honest with me all the time.

I woke up one day to him sitting at my kitchen table in just some sweatpants, signing a card. Next to him there was a huge bouquet of sunflowers. I walked over to him, fixing my bed hair into a bed bun & when I sat down he was startled. “I didn’t think you’d be up this early” he said & I looked over at the clock on microwave. “It’s after 11……does that even count as early?” I said. He looked up at me, then at the clock, then back at me & shrugged “I guess not”. I asked “Who’s the card for?” & as he sealed it, he handed to me & said “Happy Anniversary Sweetness” with no inflection. My face dropped to the floor, along with the card. “An anniversary?” I thought “have we really been dating a year? Maybe it’s like a six month anniversary? But that’s not even an anniversary!” After a few mental “Fuck!!”’s, I pulled myself together, awkwardly smiled as I picked up the card & opened it. It had been a year since I moved into my own place. In the card he wrote about how happy he was for me; that he knew how big of a deal it was for me to live on my own & he wanted me to know that it was just as important to him. I cried out of relief. He thought I was overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness, primarily because as I closed the card, hugged him, wiped my tears and sniffled into his neck, I whispered “Thank you. This means a lot.”. One year of independence; something I should have been aware of.

The first time he told me he loved me, I opened my mouth to respond & he placed his index finger on my parted lips. “Stop” he said. “Not everything I say deserves or should be met with a response Jenine. I love you. That’s it.” I of course flew into defense. “So I can’t say it back? I can’t love you in return? What kind of bullshit is that Ben? You can’t just say something like that & expect me not to say anything back.” “I never said you can’t say anything back. But think about it baby, I said I love you & your first instinct was to respond. You didn’t even really take the moment in. That’s what I’m saying. I don’t want you to love me back because I love you. I want you to love me because you actually love me.” I felt little, like a child, like I had been put in my place, handled, dealt with, but I wouldn’t let him know. “You’re such an asshole sometimes” I said “but that Benjamin, for your information, is why I love you. Because you’re only an asshole sometimes”.

There are two important things I remember from when I broke up with Ben:

1. It was raining.
2. He told me I should’ve ended us a long time ago.

I came back to the apartment from the gym. As I shook my umbrella walking through the door, Ben sauntered by in his usual attire, house sweats and no shirt, saying “You must love mopping.” in a condescending tone. I happily returned the tone saying “Definitely. I just love it! Can’t get enough.” as I rolled my eyes and the umbrella up, fastening it shut. I walked over to the kitchen & checked the fridge. All that was left was this chicken Parmesan “thing” I had attempted to make three days earlier & it looked like a big pile of mush at that point. I chucked it & decided that take out sounded good. I had a taste for some pad thai so the choice was easy. Picking up my phone & dialing the number I thought it might be a good idea to ask Ben what he wanted but I figured he’d eat whatever I ordered him. So I made the call, ordered Chicken Pad Thai and another peanut sauce dish with shrimp, and hung up. As soon as my phone had ended the call, Benjamin started an argument. “Why would you order food without asking me what I wanted?” he asked me walking out of the bedroom and I replied “I ordered food for us both. No need to say thank you”. He walked towards the window to look out but really it was all dramatics because our window looks directly at the alley behind our building that holds nothing but two dumpsters and a few forgotten cats. “Why would I say thank you to you for doing something I never asked you to do?” he said with his back turned to me “Sometimes” he scoffed, almost laughing, as he looked at the rain collect in the window sill. “Sometimes I don’t get you. Like after all this time you still do shit that irritates me and I wonder why the fuck I still want to lay next to you at night or wake up with you in the morning.” I was sitting on the sofa, absentmindedly playing with the tag on this pillow I bought two years before when he & I had just started dating. He told me the pattern on it reminded him of us; that the lines never intersected. They just changed direction. “Nobody is holding you here Ben. You can leave anytime you’d like.” I said as I picked up the remote & turned on the television.

Thirty-five minutes later I was annoyed that the food hadn’t arrived but also because Ben never left the window. He just stayed there staring at the rain while it sheeted down the window screen and when thunder roared he’d just sigh. “What could be taking this food so long? The place isn’t even that far.” I complained. “It’s the rain Jenine. Everything slows when it rains. People, cars, buses, trains, bikes, they all slow.” He paused “You also might want to factor in the idea that a bunch of people order take out on a night like this.” I answered back “I knew that!……why are you always telling me things as if I don’t know them? As if I’m not aware? It’s just annoying. You’re annoying.” Ben walked away from the window & towards the kitchen counter. He planted his two hands palm down on the counter, hoisted himself up to sit on it, looked at me & said “Maybe it’s not me that annoys you Jenine. Maybe you can’t admit that I’m ever fucking right! I can’t ever make a point without you saying “I knew that!”. If you knew it Jenine…..then why would you say half the shit you say or do half the shit you do.“ I paused the lifetime movie I had been somehow become invested in and pressed a metaphorical "play” on the scene that was unfolding in our living room. “I don’t know Ben. Maybe you’re right” I replied as I sat up, crossed my legs and interlaced my fingers over my knee. “Maybe I can’t handle the fact that you make valid points. Or perhaps it’s the fact that you can’t ever let me be wrong without making me look like a complete ass. You’re always so philosophical. "Oh thee "all knowing Ben!” Ohh he who knows more than anyone!“ I mocked. "It’s insulting. For someone who is just so wise you damn sure don’t know how to do your own fucking laundry, or wash a dish, or aim your penis directly into the bowl when you pee. Stop with the bullshit. We both have our faults.” My phone rang. The food was downstairs.

I threw on my worn out flip flops and shuffled down the 3 flights of stairs. Walking back into the apartment with food in hand, I saw that Ben had returned to the window. He walked over to the kitchen counter where I was standing, taking the food out of the brown paper bag & said “You said your ordered me food.” “I just ordered two things off the menu. I figured we’d just share.” I reasoned. “Right I get that but I don’t like peanuts. You know that. Don’t you? I’ve told you this. I’m sure I have as we’ve been together give or take I don’t know 2 & half years!” “Dammit! I whispered to myself. "I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking & I was hungry & I’m…..sorry. I’m just sorry.” “It’s fine” he said. “I should’ve just picked something up on the way home. It isn’t the first time you’ve done something like this. You’re like your mother in that way.” “Like my mother? All of this over some take out? Listen, good luck with dinner.” I said as I grabbed a plastic fork at the bottom of the bag & headed back to the sofa. “Yeah, like your mother.” he continued, following me. “You’re always complaining that she never listens to you; that you have to remind her of things you’ve already told her. Yet, here you are never listening to me. It’s not even about the apology. It’s that I just don’t think you’re really sorry at all.” he retorted. “Fair enough.” I said, putting my food down on the coffee table. “You wanna know what I’m really sorry about Ben? Huh? Fine. I’m sorry I moved in with you. I’m sorry I’ve been in this relationship for this long because we’ll never be good enough for one another. You know that right? We’re always going to be like this Ben.” I said, pointing at the pace between with both hands. “It’s never going to be enough that we love each other. There’s gotta be more to love than whatever the fuck we’re doing. I just don’t think this is healthy. I don’t think we’re growing here. Do you?”. “Now that J…that’s the most honest thing you’ve said to me. You’re always saying what you think I want to hear and that’s my problem with you. You never say what the hell you want because you think too much about it. We are growing, it’s just apart from one another.” He sighed, finally saying “Look, I’m tired.” as he walked exhaustedly back towards the bedroom, on an empty stomach & closed the door behind him. I couldn’t figure out if he meant he was tired of us, of the arguing, of never really getting back to how we were or if he was honestly tired.

I slept on the sofa & I use the term “slept” very lightly. What I really did was stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out if this was really it for Ben & I. If that was our last real conversation; if that even counted as a conversation. I planned out what I’d say in the morning after we’d both had time to think & reflect. I’d tell him I was sorry about going off & that it’s not that I don’t want to try to make it work but that I don’t even think trying is worth an actual try. I thought about it & felt like the whole relationship was a perpetual “try”. We’d just kept getting up, dusting each other off, & holding hands until we’d fall again thinking it didn’t matter because we’d fallen together. How many times do you have to fall before you realize that perhaps it isn’t the ground that’s tripping you up? That it might just be you. Do you have to scrape your knees a few times or fall flat on your face? How do you know when you’ve had enough?

I laid there falling in & out of sleep. I had this weird dream that I was baking a cake. I kept checking on it. Ben was there but he didn’t really say much. Finally I took it out of the oven & it was burnt around the edges. He shuffled over to the stovetop & looked at the cake with a somber face. “I told you it was done 10 minutes ago. You should’ve taken it out.” he said & I just stared at him blankly because he was right. I turned the pan over and the cake popped out. I let it cool, frosted it and cut a piece. Jeremy hunched over the counter top and watched me put the cake on a plate with confusion. “You’re just going to eat a burnt cake?” he questioned me. I had just taken my first bite and was going in for a second when I looked up at him and said “It still tastes good so what’s the difference?”. “The difference, Jenine, is that you know the whole cake doesn’t taste good. Only certain parts do. Why don’t you just throw it out and make another one?” he said walking over to the cake, lifting the plate up at different points and angles to get a good look at it. It was as though he was wondering how the frosting did anything but make the cake look even sadder. I licked the last bit of frosting off my fork and said “Because, burnt or not burnt, I still love cake.”

I woke up to a sliver of sunlight shining through the living room across the floor & stopping right at the front door. I sat up & checked the time. It was 7:06. I decided I’d go to the bedroom and get some real rest. I stood up & stumbled towards the bedroom. As soon as I reached the door, Ben was coming out of the room. He was dressed & had 2 bags with him not including the backpack he’d never leave the house without. All of the things I had planned on saying were forgotten. I could barely see straight, let alone gather the words I wanted to say. He looked at me then said “Sorry. Can I just get by?”. “Sure!” I blurted out as I moved to the left, almost jumping. He walked towards the front door & I asked “Umm can at least ask where you’re going?”. He stopped moving and turned, telling me “I thought about what you said J. About us not being enough for one another. I guess I just always thought it would work itself out. But I see what you mean. I don’t know the exact moment when you came to that conclusion, or maybe you decided it, but you should’ve ended us then instead of now. So I’m leaving. I guess I’ll pick up the rest of my stuff over the next couple of weeks.”. That’s it. He was gone. Whatever he had left, the “stuff” he mentioned, was never picked up. They were minuscule items really; a toothbrush, some body wash, a value pack of razors. Things that made you think of him, even though they were all replaceable. It didn’t take long for me to realize that much like the burnt cake, I still loved Ben.

To be continued or whatever…….

Can’t Escape Myself [Demon!Finn; Part 2/2]

Author Note: Read Part One Here before this part. This part…has angst, fluff, and a hint of smut-ish-behavior. And it is also long.

This is originally from requested, #357 .“When is a monster not a monster?” “When you love it.” - Demon!Finn (Prompt from here.)


Special shout out to @chasingeverybreakingwave @thegenericluchadora @running-ropes @sammiielli & @heelturn-timesten for their feedback, support, and inspiration.

Gif from @actofbalor.

Tagging the usuals, anyone who asked to be, & those that seemed to enjoy the first part: @superkixbaybay @heelcharlie @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @valeonmars @pjanina13 @spot-of-bother @bolieve-that @m-a-t-91 @chasingeverybreakingwave @not-that-kinda-gurl08 @heelturn-timesten @imaginingwwesuperstars @running-ropes @wrestlingnoob @daintymissdevitt @nickysmum1909 @ambrosegirlforever @mistressbalor  @balorsdomain  @cosmicswimming  @rollinsbabe @ileana0300 @purgatoryhatesme @squirrel666  @alexahood21  @bitchesgonnabemad @sammiielli @blondekel77 @fanfic-fanfic-everywhere @thedeboniardevistation @ava-lipstickytoffee @romanempire-aa @alyhull @vebner37 @magicaljrae @caguayo85  @ladylillianrose @kingslayers-angel @florenceivy @wwefinnbalorimagines @ortonaholic @xchrissymitchx @princess3733  @anerdysouthernbelle @behindthesesilvereyes   @queen-twerks-a-lot @bellytobayley @eshia16  



So trust me, trust me, darling dear.
I’m so sincere, there’s no need to tear.
Trust me, trust me
Darling, do.
Just like I trust you.

So don’t cry, crybaby,
All dressed in green.
How many kisses do you need?
One for your tummy,
One for your cheek,
One for the devil inside of me.

Marilyn Monroe once said “Fear is stupid. So are regrets”.

Marilyn Monroe, you decided, had definitely never faced a demon before. And certainly not a demon that was half of the personality that made up the man she loved.

Half of the person? You didn’t even know anymore how to classify this whole situation. Was this a split personality deal? You were not a psychologist, but didn’t one personality not usually know about the other? … The other. How appropriate.

Once you’d seen the change in Finn’s eyes, you’d closed your own, tilting your head downward. Your hands were resting just above his belt on his lower stomach, and you were trying to keep them from trembling. His hands remained on your sides, holding you in place.

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I chased after you, over and over again. Chances after chances. But when I finally gave up, not once did I feel your hand hold my shoulder back, not once did I hear the words I so badly wanted to hear, “I’m sorry. I love you, so please don’t go.”
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write
2

I had so many things I wanted to say, how much I appreciated his work, what an inspiration he has been to me, that his portrayal of Cardinal Richelieu in The Three Musketeers was my mom’s favorite of his roles.

Then it was my turn, and I stepped up to him, and looked into those eternal green eyes and I said: “I forgot everything I wanted to say to you.”

But he took my hand, asked my name, repeated it when I told him, and kissed my knuckles like the prince I always knew he was. 

This was worth driving 7 hours to Toronto, worth the price of the ticket, worth the hours standing in line. I’d do it all again and I will be eternally grateful that he gave us all this chance to fulfill this dream.

An alternative avenue to the Underworld arc and far more angsty end to 5A. Killian is gone and Emma is trying to pick up the pieces of her life when she starts getting strange signs that something is wrong.

Trigger warning for mental health issues and unintentional gaslighting.

~7000 words

red sky at morning.

Before coming to Storybrooke, Emma Swan had attended two funerals in her lifetime.

One was for work–she had a lead that her skip was going to be in attendance, and lo and behold, he’d shown up, predictable as clockwork. She’d tried to grab him as surreptitiously as possible, but had ended up knocking over the funeral tribute and giving the minister a concussion. (She’d ended up paid and the family didn’t press charges against her, so, in all, a win.)

The other had been for Maryanne Gilbert’s mom’s when she was in third grade. She’d been shuffled out of another home and into another school district when the second quarter of the school year had started. She’d only been there for about two or so weeks when Maryanne’s mother was killed in a car accident, and the whole third grade had been shuttled to the funeral in lieu of social studies that morning. It was weird, and Emma felt awkward and out of place because no one in class had really liked her and she had to sit through a funeral service for this woman she didn’t even know. But the one thing–the one thing that stands out to her in that memory is the crying. She’d never seen people just… cry. It’d always been something hidden, something heard through thin walls and muffled into pillows. Grief was strange, communal grief even stranger.

But now… she feels she can understand. It was difficult to bury Neal, but not… it was different.

Killian is another story.

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In Memorial: One Year Later

By Achamias Siven-Fur

As year of fighting the Legion on the Broken Isles comes to pass, we should look back and remember those who gave their lives in the pursuit of keeping our world safe from demonic incursions.  Among those who we remember, let us pay homage to one who gave all in defiance to the Legion, the Late-King Varian Wrynn.

He stood against forces of evil, and though this had cost him his life, he gave the people of the Alliance a chance at defeating the Legion. This was not  the only great thing our late King had done in the Alliance’s name.

It was he who led the Alliance in fighting the Lich King Arthas.  He led the people of the Alliance in fighting Garrosh during the Siege of Orgrimmar.  And when the Horde stood weaken, and Garrosh laid poised to be removed, King Varian gave peace and justice to his enemy. Even when some roared for their destruction.

He was a king who worked to lead his people with a sword in one hand and a branch of olives in the other. And these are only the most recent of what the former king had done to lead his people to a better life. And though his son King Anduin has taken over the throne with his father’s parting, it could be said that King Varian would be proud of his son working to keep not only the Alliance together in this time of strife, but also focused on the destruction of the Legion.

As many go to the memorial within Lion’s Rest to honor his memory, there is another way to show you honor the former king. Take the chance he gave us and make the Legion regret ever setting its eyes upon our world Azeroth. Remember him; long live the King.

Long Live King Wrynn. Long Live the Alliance.

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: Joss Whedon spent at least half an hour of the two hours of movie time during The Avengers to dedicate to the relationship between Clint and Natasha. They obviously have a very deep and personal bond, he spared her life and gave her a second chance and she used it to join the good side. Throughout the whole movie they show time and time again that they care more about each other's safety than anything else. Not to mention that little Easter egg in Captain America 2, that arrow necklace that Natasha is wearing when they're in their casual clothes. The franchise was obviously setting up for Natasha and Clint to become an item, and what the fuck happens in Age of Ultron? They just throw that out the fucking window, all that buildup for nothing, all that PERFECTLY GOOD CHEMISTRY FOR NOTHING jesus fucking christ I can't take it
Hiatus Fic #1

Title: Prompt #1 – Summer Vacation

Written for the Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon started by @thebookjumper.

Read on AO3 or ff.net

Summer Vacation

“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind when we were discussing summer vacations.”

He smiles down at her as her arms slide around him, her chin coming to rest on his shoulder.  Well, as close to his shoulder as she can reach.  

They stand together beside their recently erected tent, the one he’s assembled completely on his own while she’d been off collecting firewood.  The rest of the team – Curtis, Rene, Dinah and Thea – are on the other side of the fire pit arguing over the logistics of who is sleeping where and who – the boys or the girls – gets the bigger tent.  

He shrugs and grips her forearm where it’s draped across his abdomen.

“I know.  But I thought, after everything that happened… I figured we could all use a break.”

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anonymous asked:

Hmm, well since you were already asked about him how about Roxas?

Oh darling yes let’s sit down and talk about Roxas.

My bae in Kingdom hearts

My reason for even giving KH a chance to be the awesome shit that it is~

put a character in my ask

character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

I love Roxy so much you have no idea. He’s suffered so much and it hurts my heart whenever I think of what DiZ did to him like fuck you asshole I’m glad you’re dead I hope you never come back. I don’t care if he’s sorry…I’m just sorry Roxas didn’t send y0 ass to the shadow realms that’s the place where he and Aqua are I like calling it that lmao

ship with: Oh oh oh I ship him with Sora!!! SoRoku all the way! I also ship him with Naminé because awwww that ship is sooo adorable -sniffs- and I ship him with Riku too! I’m not sure when that started but one day I thought to myself “Dang Riku and Roxas sure had a weirdly yaoi moment oh NO I NEED FANFIC” and that ship was born lol. I don’t ship him with Axel tho’–idk that ship rubs me wrong maybe because, to me at least, I didn’t see Roxas return those feelings Axel obviously had for him? Meh idk I brotp it tho’ so there’s that.

general opinions: Roxas deserves better. He deserves the world after everything he’s been through. Out of all the KH characters I swear Roxas is the one that suffered the most–got the short end of the stick. And I’m not talking about returning to Sora I swear him doing that saved him from more misery and disappointment. I…I don’t know…his entire existence had been a lie–fabricated by the Organization and he was manipulated again and again by nearly everyone he made contact with. Whether it was from OrgXIII to Riku and DiZ to his virtual Twilight Town–everything he’s ever known was a lie. The only thing that was good, for a moment, was Xion and Axel and their little ice cream breaks up on the tower–but even that ended tragically and when Axel tried to save him it just…it just pushed Roxas away. I swear the only thing that wasn’t a lie to him–that he felt was right–was Sora and trying to find him. He wanted answers hence why he left and it’s for that reason he found Sora and it became okay again. Ugh and my heart hurts because KH3D had Sora telling him what no one had ever told him before.

And I can never ever forgive DiZ or anyone that hurt this precious bae–hurt him so much that Sora could feel the pain and had to make it right again.

Because you know Sora is the only right thing in Roxas’ lonely world.

Oh gods Imma cry now wtf

God is never the one responsible for the sin or damnation of any man.

Our condemnation is just for all of us at some point gave in to rebellion. We’re given a choice, God or this world, righteousness or sin, heaven or hell. God gave us His Word us our guide to how we should live our life but we rebellious people always listen to the promptings of the flesh rather than the conviction of the Holy Spirit. To blame God for own choices is a foolish thing indeed, because just like Adam and Eve, instead of taking responsibility, they blame each other and ended up blaming God for the serpent. 

Repentance is a choice to say i am responsible for what i did, it is an act of courage to be honest, instead of covering up and ended up not getting mercy that you ought to receive. When we stand before God on the judgement day, don’t even rant because of His wrath, for even today, He gave us a chance to repent and trust His Son.

4

anonymous asked:

For my prompt I want you to do YOU. Make some crazy super self indulgent fic JUST FOR YOU. Smother yourself in some bone boys even MORE than the fics you've made already in a saucy ooc one-shot. Who is your favorite bone daddy? Treat yo self, sugar ♡

this prompt is just. it’s been sitting in my inbox for a while and it’s been TORTURE not being able to get to it. i have never laughed so hard in my life. thank you, ‘nonny. i’m glad you gave me a chance to be completely selfish and make a fic based on what i like. 

i hope you get a kick out of it, too. ;)

request a fic from me!


Pairing: UF!Sans/Reader

Summary: You’re just a little shy. Sans is stubborn. This is a recipe for disaster.


It was close to midnight and you…were lost.

Okay. So. Maybe trying to find the cute flower you saw growing in the midst of the Snowdin forest wasn’t a good idea. You thought it would’ve been a nice thing to show Sans. Maybe to appeal to his better nature. As edgy and cool as he acted, there was a soft and squishy side to him, you just knew it. And you’d really hoped that you could come up with some impromptu speech about humans to win him over while staring at it blossoming despite the cold and harsh conditions of its environment.

Well, plan backfired, because some jerk had uprooted it just for fun. What the hell was wrong with this place?

As punishment for dragging him out in the middle of nowhere, Sans now refused to tell you which way home was. You expected nothing less. This was the guy that once bought out the entire store’s stock of monster candy just so you wouldn’t get any because you accidentally washed out his favorite red shirt. He wasn’t really known for being forgiving.

Still. You were going to make him eat those words. You’d get home, leave him hanging, and refuse to go on another (not!) date with him for a full week if he didn’t shape up and apologize for his childishness.

(Was that hypocritical? Probably.)

You stood at the base of the nearest tree and ran your hand along the bark. This one felt…different? Oh, who were you kidding! You had NO CLUE where to go from here! Everything looked the same! Dead and gray!

You went to make a witty retort when you realized that your companion was blatantly giving you a once-over.

Oh. Hell. No.

You whipped your head back around and tried to stifle your blush. Was Sans…interested in you? You were, but this wasn’t the time!

You bit your lip and steeled yourself. Stopped in your tracks. His crunching footsteps along the snow came to a sudden halt.

“Can you stop ogling me for five seconds so we can get home before I freeze to death? I don’t know where I’m going!”

He grinned. “might be fun. why’re you in such a hurry, anyway? we got lots of time…alone….”

OH GOD. ABORT, ABORT!!! You were going to overheat at this rate! He couldn’t see how flustered you were, or he would never let you live it down!

Play it off. Make him think that you were as cool as a cucumber. “Ew. Absolutely not.” NICE. You could FEEL the stab to his heart as he grunted in response to your clipped tone. “Just tell me which turn we take.”

Sans crossed his arms and glanced over to the side. “might know, for the right price.”

This wasn’t…happening, was it? Really? Was this…flirting??? You didn’t know what to say at this point. The Sans you knew had never been…forward, and never this blatant. What had gotten into him?

As much as you…thought that maybe there was a little part of you that wanted this…you decided to deflect instead. Because. It was just. Easier that way.

“You know what? I think I’ll just take the cold and lonesome death route after all. I might just end up resetting.”

That hadn’t happened yet. It probably wouldn’t ever come to that, if you were being serious. In this place, the monster’s magic had no effect on you. Only healing magic – something that was incredibly rare and looked down upon – seemed to change your physical form and get rid of your injuries. Every other kind of magic, from blue to orange, was all ineffective.

“and if you don’t, we can meet over and over again ‘til you give in.”

You spluttered. “Y-You’re such a jerk.”

“that what you’re into?”

You broke away from the conversation and went back to tromping through the snow. You were glad that you were bundled up for the weather, but now your fierce flush was making you way too hot to keep your scarf nestled along the curve of your neck. He was. He was evil. He was doing this just because he’d somehow figured out that you had A Thing for him. Maybe he thought he could use it to his advantage.

“HOW did this even happen honestly. You hated me before. I think I liked it better when you tried to kill me.”

Sans let out a long laugh behind you, the rumbling timbre of it sending your stomach in knots. “if ya really miss it, we can do both. make a break for the woods n’ hide. and if i catch you…you’re gonna have a bad time.”

W-w-what?

“Are you serious???”

You turned around to gape at him. He had a hand up. Index finger shot up. Then his middle. “one…two…”

“You are serious!”

You did exactly what you said you weren’t going to do: you ran.

Sans kept counting. The wind settled down earlier as soon as the synthetic sunlight dipped below the horizon to blanket the woods in comforting darkness. It was easy to detect everything this late at night. Movement. Sound. Your senses were hyperaware as you tore through the rows and rows of trees, knowing full well that the falling snow would help in covering your tracks. Where could you even hide? There was nowhere to go? And why were you entertaining this little game of his?

Wait. A game.

That…was all this was.

Oh. This was just really convenient timing, wasn’t it?! The DAY that you slipped up and mentioned to Alphys how you didn’t think Sans was all that bad, suddenly he started hitting on you? Ooooh, you almost FELL for it, too! You were going to kill the both of them. They probably laughed about it for hours in her lab and concocted this huge plan to humiliate you. Make you feel like you were actually…that he would want to…

You slowed down just enough to take a real hard look at what you were doing. Why? Why did you let them do this to you? Your chest ached painfully as you felt frustrated tears climbing their way up from the lump in your throat to your puffing eyes. You knew that you were soft, but you thought you’d gotten past all of the underhandedness since you’d gotten to know them.

“heh heh heh. you give up?” Crunch. Crunch. Pause. “can’t say i’m surprised. must be freezin’ out here. but i’ve got an idea on how to warm ya up.”

You had your back to him, hands clenched into fists. “Please tell me how to get home.”

“nah, you lost. think this means i collect on your uh, outstanding balance.” He took a few steps forward. “never really did see the appeal of betting. never had somethin’ i wanted. think i understand now.”

You whipped around and your lower lip trembled. “Take me HOME, Sans!”

You watched the disappointment flit across his face. The crack on his skull seemed to widen as his pupils constricted just the slightest. But he eventually managed to get himself back to normal. Hands shoved in his pockets. A pained and twisted grin on his face.

“heh, alright, alright. don’t get your panties in a bunch. let’s get goin’.”

Awkward.

Sooooo awkward.

You trailed behind him, crossing your arms to block out the chill of the weather and the cold realization from earlier that settled on your shoulders. Sans didn’t say a word the entire trip back into town. Which was strange, considering whenever you two were together all he ever wanted to do was bitch and moan about something.

The both of you came to a crossroads. Your place was to the right, his to the left. You wanted to say something. To tell him that what he did tonight wasn’t funny. To say that what you disclosed to Alphys was private and that he shouldn’t have used it against you.

Sans never gave you a chance. He took off straight for his place, leaving you lingering at the lamppost with your hand resting on your chest.

Hmph.

For the rest of the week, he actively avoided you. The nerve! He was the one in the wrong, and he was taking it out on you?! You went along with your business, pretending not to notice, but fully aware of the laughing whispers of the town as they ruminated on your guys’ lack of contact. He was almost always with you if he wasn’t working, and a lot of people made it a running joke that he was like your shadow.

Not having him around was…different.

After running some errands around town, including picking up some essentials for the brother’s household (whenever you two were on speaking terms again), you decided that maybe you would take a quick lunch break at Grillby’s.

The atmosphere was tense as soon as you walked in the room. Some accusing murmurs from the crowd. What was going on? You tried your best to ignore their hard stares before settling in on a half-booth near the very back of the bar. It was your usual spot because it was far removed from the rest of the patrons. You didn’t want to bother them while they ate and drank.

Was that…yeah, someone was fighting again. Big surprise.

You nursed your drink. Grillby had messed it up on purpose, but you never had the balls to send it back and encourage him to mess with you even more. If it kept him far away from you, that worked. You were not willing to risk his wrath because of an issue with customer service.

“Hey.”

You glanced up and nearly choked on your mouthful. The monster was someone you’d only seen a few times in town, but they had never been as cruel to you as the others had. In fact, they were probably the most level-headed of the people you’d met so far.

“Can I sit here?”

You weren’t sure what to say. They waited for your answer before you nodded slowly.

“Noticed Sans isn’t here.”

“Um. Yeah.”

“You guys…on a break?”

Your stomach tightened. So other people noticed that you guys were on the “off” side of friendship again. “Something like that.”

You introduced yourself and they did the same, wondering where they were going with this.

Ordered you a drink. Put another plate of fries in front of you to scarf down. Started a conversation about where they grew up.

What the hell was going on? This was almost…normal. When you ended up down here, you never thought that you would be able to maintain a conversation that didn’t involve gross and cruel jokes. But the monster didn’t seem too interested in any of that.

“…and it was pink.”

“No way! You saw it too, then!” You couldn’t believe it. The flower that you’d been searching for just days before seemed like a hallucination the way that others reacted to your description. “I’m so glad, I thought I was going crazy.”

“This the one?”

The monster set it on the table. Oh! The flower! It was still alive! Sustained by their magic, a bubble of water surrounding its stem while it seemed to fluff up at the sight of you. You reached over tentatively and let your fingers rest against the petals. The softness was unlike anything you’d seen Underground, and a sensation you really missed. Flowers were few and far in-between here, save for the blue ones in Waterfall that could say some really nasty things if you stuck around long enough.

“Oh, wow. So you were the one that found it.”

“Saw you out there the other day. You seemed to like it.”

“I-I do.”

“Then you can have it.”

“Really?” You brought it close to your chest, the magic never dissipating despite the fact that you reached down to touch it. “I…don’t know what to say. This is. Wow.”

You were in a much better mood than when you walked in. You could scarcely notice the way that monsters reacted to the two of you leaving together. You insisted on paying your own bill after they’d offered to do it themselves and they were totally cool with that. Sans never paid for his own meals, he always split so you could deal with the aftermath and empty out your own pockets.

They held the door open for you and you stood on the side of Grillby’s. Chatting about everything and nothing, the flower still clutched tight to your chest as you laughed and joked with them. They were really funny. You hadn’t even noticed that your face was dusted with the same color as the petals until you caught sight of yourself in a nearby shop mirror.

“what the hell’re you going on about? nothin’s changed, we’re still…”

Oh. That was Sans. You could tell by his accent. You wanted to peer around the corner at him, but decided against it. And as hard as you tried to ignore him, you could still catch bits and pieces of his conversation.

“heh, oh yeah? izzat right? says who?”

The monster you were with asked you if you wanted them to walk you home. You said yes.

What you didn’t expect, however, was them to take your hand and lead you right in the line of sight of the person you’d been dreading to see.

“Ahahahaha! Look behind you, IDIOT!”

Sans lifted his head and turned to glance in the direction of their pointed finger.

You locked eyes.

It was…an experience. Watching something in him shift. He went from annoyed to looking…nearly heartbroken. It was soon replaced with outright fury, the magic in his left eye flaring as he broke away from his conversation and approached you. You’d never seen him this heated before, at least not in a long while, and it was even scarier that it was directed at you.

“heh, am i missin’ somethin’?” He raked his eyes over the flower, to your joined hands, to the placid expression on the monster’s face. The lack of reaction seemed to piss him off even more. “what’re you think yer doin’ there, pal?”

“Taking her home.”

“takin’ her…ah, heh. my mistake. takin’ her home. no biggie. welp. lemme get outta your way, then!” He stepped to the side and baited the both of you to continue forward. “no? don’t wanna go past little ol’ me? wonder why that is. wonder why yer lookin’ so nervous there, friendo.”

“Um, Sans?” You could see a crowd coming together. People from inside Grillby’s had their faces pressed up against the glass, some of them hooting and cackling with laughter.

He was losing his cool. This did not look good.

“think yer real smart, huh. think yer real slick. comin’ in…when what? i’ve been away for just a few days? like a damn scavenger, huh.”

You could feel his magic building up. The smell of ozone in the air. Oh, god. This couldn’t get any worse.

“She’s with me, now.”

Sans’ eyesockets went black.

It got worse.

You were expecting him to explode. To throw back the monster with bones and pin him to the wall until the life was crushed out of his body. You knew that Sans wasn’t innocent. You knew he had killed other monsters in the past. But actually seeing it might’ve been…too much. And to think that he had changed, and then watching him lose control…

He took a step forward. Outstretched his hand.

“let’s. go.”

You broke away from the other monster almost immediately. The loss of warmth from their hand a welcome relief. You hadn’t noticed how bad your palms were sweating until they had a chance to breathe in the sharp air.

Sans waited until you were at his side before shooting him a feral grin. “nice try. better luck next time, chump.”

The tense atmosphere faded the further you got from the storefront. You clutched onto the flower so as not to lose it, still trying to wrap your head around what just happened. Why had Sans lashed out like that to the monster? Were they actually enemies? Did they have a past?

You stood in an alleyway near his house. He took one look at the flower, snatched it, and immediately threw it on the ground to crush it underneath his shoes.

“SANS, STOP!!!” you screeched. You dropped down to shield it from his blows, but he was ruthless. Merciless. “PLEASE!”

His foot lingered in the air. Flower residue along the grooves of his shoes. You huddled the remnants in your hands and tried to piece it back together.

“This was…the flower I was trying to show you…”

He paused for a moment. Then put a hand on his face and dragged it down along his scrunched features.

“shit. i didn’t…”

“Forget it.” You stood up and brushed the dirt off your knees, heart aching from the cruel display. “I shouldn’t have bothered. You never would’ve appreciated it anyway.”

“hey, i—”

“I was just trying to share something with you. And someone was nice enough to give it to me. I was going to help it grow. I told you all it needed was a little TLC!”

His mouth opened. Closed. “w-well you shouldn’t have taken it from that ASSHOLE. s'yer fault. if you woulda just…”

“YOU’RE the asshole! You just interrupted us without even thinking about how I felt!”

0.9999999

“heh…” He stepped backwards, sweating profusely. “interrupted, huh? inter…interrupted?”

He glanced to the left. The right. Anywhere but you. Clutching at his chest. Fingers twisting in his jacket. His scowl strained. Eyesockets lopsided. He hunched over and slowly removed himself from you. Reaching the end of the alley, his magic dissipating and faint. He trudged away without waiting for your response, his steps slow and lumbering as he struggled not to topple over.

You glanced down at the trampled flower, back to where you’d last seen his retreating form, and turned heel to run away.

Papyrus came by your house an hour later.

He didn’t even bother knocking. You were on the couch, reading a very old magazine, when he burst through the door searching for you. You knew he couldn’t hurt you, but he was still incredibly intimidating in his Royal Guard uniform.

“Papyrus, what’s going on?”

He stared at you and crossed the threshold. “I WOULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION. EXPLAIN HOW YOU MANAGED TO INJURE MY BROTHER.”

What the hell? You didn’t do anything of the sort! “Why? What did he say?”

Papyrus scowled at you. “HE DID NOT HAVE TO. HIS HP WAS NEARLY GONE. I DO NOT KNOW HOW YOU MANAGED TO SPARE HIM FROM YOUR ATTACK, BUT HE IS SOMEHOW EVEN MORE USELESS NOW.”

That sent a surge of panic in you. He was out there. Somewhere. In pain. And you weren’t sure how this involved you, but this wasn’t how you wanted the day to end. Sans on the verge of becoming dust was the last thing you wanted.

You jumped up from your spot and rushed to grab your jacket. “Where is he?”

You’d never been in his room before. It was kind of a mystery. But the door was unlocked, and you knew he was inside. You rapped on the door lightly, just enough where you were sure he hadn’t heard it, and let yourself in.

Sans was on his bed, not looking too hot. He could barely keep his signature scowl on as it threatened to fade away. He kept clawing at his chest the entire time, as if he was being stabbed there. You weren’t sure what to think of it.

“Sans. What the hell is going on?”

He froze. “get out.”

Not going to happen. You pressed on. “Papyrus said you were one breath away from death.”

“out.”

Why was he doing this? Even this weak and injured, he refused to clue you in on things. “He said it was my fault.”

“it is.”

No, it wasn’t! You wanted to scream! But you had to get to the bottom of this. And there was no way you could do that by questioning his accusations. “But why?”

A long pause. Enough that you thought maybe he’d…flatlined, or dustlined, or whatever it was that monsters used when they were talking about this stuff. But he shifted just a bit. To let you know that he was still alive. That he was just chewing on his words because of his stupid fucking pride.

“you betrayed me.”

Betrayed?! That was a ridiculously strong word! And for what? Because you went to Grillby’s with another monster? “What? How?”

“everything finally felt right.”

Was he actually…trembling?

“everythin’ down here is a fuckin’ mess. only good thing is you. you’re all i got. n’ you wish i was someone else.”

This. Wasn’t happening. Was this real?

“Sans…”

“no. don’t wanna compete any more. ain’t a fair fight.”

You swallowed hard. “Listen to me. I don’t…I don’t know if I…I’m sorry. At the time, I wanted to hurt you because you’d hurt me. But you didn’t deserve it. When it comes down to it, you’re the only one here I trust.  I care about you and I don’t want to do something like this again.”

You couldn’t imagine life without him.

“whatever.”

“Sans. I’m being serious.”

You couldn’t handle him turning to dust.

“The type of monster you are…matters to me, because I…”

You couldn’t hold back how you really felt.

“I love you.”

There. You said it.

Love for these monsters meant nothing. They favored power and strength. Not anything as mushy and easily manipulated as…feelings. You knew you’d taken a chance, but you had to. Anything to bring him back from this strange shift in his health. You didn’t want him to give up or think you didn’t care about him, because you did. So much.

Sans stared at the ceiling for a long while. Then, turned to you, and smirked.

“you just made the biggest mistake of your life, doll.”

He lifted himself up from the bed. Still shaky, still off balance. You headed over to steady him, only to have him grab your hand and force your wrist up to his face. Pushing your palm against his cheekbone, leaning into your touch and his canines glinting.

“yer never gonna get ridda me now.”

Oh.

Sans stayed true to his word. He was fucking enamored. If you thought he was a little clingy before, it had multiplied by a tenfold. Hovering around. Always there when you looked over your shoulder. Winking your way and licking his canines when you were in public, flustering you on purpose so he could cackle about it all the way home.

The weirdest part was…you weren’t bothered by it in the slightest. It was a little much at first, sure, but you…liked the attention. It was good to be on the same page. To know that after all this time, your feelings weren’t exactly unrequited. That he’d actually been pining over you the way that you’d been, too.

And you were never going to let him live it down that he was jealous of someone else.

“think it’s real funny?”

“Y-yes!” You laughed, pushing his wandering hands away. “You thought I was going to run away with another monster and went ballistic!”

“don’t test me, doll. i know what makes ya tick.”

“Is that so?”

“yep.” He bent down and ran his tongue along the expanse of your neck, sending your body arching into his. “like that.”

“S-shut up.”

“didja just stutter? already? ain’t even…started…”

You swallowed as he bit down on the junction of your neck and shoulder. The pain blossomed just enough that your nerves sparked to life, his hand trailing down to rub at your crotch. You were already slick at his touch, soaking through your panties, staining his fingers as he prodded through the thin fabric.

“Mm, Sans.” You shuddered.

He rubbed faster, setting the pace, still over your clothes so he could torture you. “wanted this for so long. i’m gonna enjoy it.”

You were going to come already. He hadn’t even gotten to your clit yet. But the more he dragged his hand along, cupping your sex and grinding the heel of his palm against you, the closer you got. You wrapped your arms around him as he lapped at the teethmarks embedded in your skin, squeezing your eyes shut as he grunted and thrust into the mattress.

“you’ll never wanna leave.”

Oh god, oh god, oh god! This was it! You bucked into his hand and he immediately drew it back, hovering over you with blood staining his canines.

“S-Sans, please…”

He grabbed either side of your panties and tore them down over your knees and around your ankles. Spreading you far apart, making you scoot backwards so you could draw your legs up. His fingers dug into the soft skin of your inner thighs and his tongue materialized from between his jaws, the ghostlike appendage dripping with crimson saliva.

He thrust it in you and you screamed.

His rhythm was ruthless. He didn’t leave any-fucking-thing untouched. Slurping noisily so you could hear nothing but his grunts of pleasure in the room. He pinned you to the mattress and went in as far as he could, lapping up every dribble that threatened to rush past his open jaw. He sucked hard enough that you saw stars, rolling the tip of his tongue along your clit, flicking it once in a while and tearing a moan from your throat.

“you’ll be MY human now,” he said, pulling back enough so he could continue his dirty talk. A long, thin trail of saliva connecting his mouth to your lower half, lapping it up and rubbing the remaining juices on the back of his hand.

His fingers snaked their way back. Dipping into you without any resistance, scissoring you open so he could stretch you out. Testing the waters, curling them inward, pressing hard against your walls and starting a new pace.

“and i’ll be your sans…”

Three. You knew what he was doing. You whimpered and craned your neck to see what he was doing to prepare, but he hovered over you and planted a hot kiss on your mouth. Sloppy. Wet. You could taste yourself. You pulled back when you needed air and coughed from the lack of oxygen, cheeks becoming rosy with color as Sans pinned you underneath him. One arm positioned near your head, the other still inside of you.

“now just relax, babe. i’m gonna take care of you.”

You sucked in a breath as he yanked his hand out of you. Reached down for his shorts and grabbed his cock out of them, the thick member already dripping with anticipation. Thin ropes of precum sliding down the smooth texture of it, its color a hard red and makeshift veins materializing along its otherwise smooth surface. It was perfect. It was sure to give you that good time he’d been promising all those nights ago when he brought this up.

He grabbed your hand and made you wrap around it for a few experimental pumps. Laughing weakly at your pace, your thumb rubbing over the tip and coating him fully in his own precum. He increased the speed of your touch and tossed his head back, thrusting into your curled fist and his cock swelling up until it was ready to burst.

“that’s it.”

He shoved your hand away and held himself, heavy against his palm, before pressing the tip against your entrance. Swirling it around, testing the waters, dipping the head in and pulling it back out quickly.

“all mine.”

He thrust in.

Tight fit. Oh. A goooood fit. J-just enough that you. You could bear down…a-and feel your clit rub against the base of his cock. You drew him in close and he immediately went for your mouth, silencing your screams while he pounded you into the headboard. He fucked you. Ruthlessly. His pace hard and fast, tearing you apart from the inside out. You sobbed his name and he laughed, his weight crushing you. He was so big and thick and oh god, oh god, oh god. He wasn’t going to let go. This was real, he didn’t want anybody but you, and he was going to make his mark so no one would ever think twice about you ever again.

He lifted himself up from your lips and grinned, doing his best to toss your legs as far as they would go, positioning them on his shoulders. The new angle was enough for you to reach your peak, tremors wracking through your body and his name leaving your lips in a strangled sob. He roared with laughter when watching you come undone, manic, short thrusts, your skin slapping against his bones while he continued to pound you into the mattress.

You were so sensitive. You couldn’t stand it. You came from hitting your clit against his pubic symphysis. Your entire body went lax and you bit your lower lip as you rode out the rest of your orgasm, caging him between your legs by locking your knees.

Sans drew you in close. “gonna come in ya, doll. gonna fill ya up. gonna make sure it’s all oozin’ outta ya when i’m done.”

“Yes!” you cried.

He grunted, drew back, laughed wearily, and thrust back in to the hilt.

Oh. There was. So. Much.

How did he even make this much come? It just kept going. Pooling in the pit of your belly and spurting out of him in hot strands, all if it roping deep inside and filling you to the brim. He refused to budge and you could feel it slip around his cock and drip outside of you. All over the bedsheets, thick iridescent strands dripping down from your conjoined hips.

He lingered there for a moment. Refusing to move. Just riding out his orgasm as his face twisted in relief. He’d been holding it in for ages and it was taking an agonizingly slow time for him to finish. When did it end? You curled into him and wiggled your hips, Sans catching the hint just long enough for him to draw back.

And then go back in.

“S-Sans…”

“don’t wanna leave just yet. just got here.” He snickered. “yer real warm. real tight. might have to stay a while.”

“I-if you do that, I’ll probably want to come again.”

“that’s a problem? heh. i’ll even help ya.” He pulled out and pressed the full weight of his cock between your lips, sliding hard enough that you moaned. He squeezed your thighs together and started a new pace, humping against you and letting your combined juices coat all the way down his pelvis.

“Again?”

“again. got one more. heh heh. you’ll like this one.”

With the added friction and the afterglow of your first orgasm, the second wasn’t hard to reach at all. Sans followed close behind, but held back just long enough for you to climax. Once he was sure that you were done, and that your weakened thrusts were minor aftershocks, he pulled himself away and climbed on top of your chest.

“there ya go. open wide, beautiful.”

Your jaw dropped open and he buried himself in your mouth. You flicked your tongue on the underside of his cock and he came immediately. All of it ran down your throat and you coughed some of it back up when he finally pulled out, resting it against your cheek and coating your neck and chest with what you couldn’t swallow.

“phew. yer a real keeper, y’know that? took it all like a champ.”

You dragged your finger up lazily, spent and boneless, scooping up the dollop that landed on your breast. You stuck it on your mouth and he watched you with a quirk of his browbone, sweat pouring down his temple.

He rolled over to your side and yanked you toward him, spooning you and planting soft kisses down your shoulder and back. You relaxed in his embrace and heard the answer to the confession you made all those months ago.

He didn’t need to say it. But he did.

For you.

Just as you want me

Word count: 3206

I gulped down the liquid as i my best friend, Kayla, was pouring up some shots in front of us. She had a great mix of vodka, tequila and rum. But whatever it was, i actually didn’t care right now. I just wanted to feel the rush through my veins already. The kitchen was cramped tight with people, pouring up drinks and chatting away, a couple here and there sitting on the the counter making out. “Done,” she spoke as she put the bottle down with a loud thud. 

She lifted up the first cup, filled with a clear liquid all the way up so it was almost spilling over the edge, “to us,” she spoke as i smiled brightly grabbing my glass, “and to tonight,” i spoke as we clinked the glasses together spilling some of it down my arm and on the floor. The glass hitting my lips as i downed the fluid, burning my throat as the vodka made its way down. Quickly following up with the next glass, squeezing my eyes together shut, as i downed the next three glasses. Grabbing the last one standing as she finished her last one, in one fast motion the downed the last drops of alcohol and looked at her smiling. She laughed a beautiful laugh as she grabbed two cups and drunkenly poured up way too much vodka and adding some soda, handing me the now full cup. “Now, let’s dance and find some cute boys,”

Pulling me by the hand she led me into the middle of the dance floor which was created, for a college party this was turning out big. As the next song came on, blasting through the speakers i took a sip from my cup, as i swayed my hips to the beat. She danced in front of me, getting the attention from every boy around her. Swinging her hips and circling around herself as if she had done nothing else in her entire life. I was so envious of how easy everything was for her, she could get any boy she ever wanted without doing more than blinking sweetly with her eyes. but i got it, she was beautiful deep down to the core, and i admired her so dearly for who she was just as everyone else did. 

Boys swarming around her, making me take a step back, clumsily bumping into the figure behind me. My mind blurring for a second as i tried to find balance again. Two strong hands gripping my shoulders as they comforted and held me still. My eyes gliding in and out of focus before turning around smiling brightly, as my eyes met with some huge brown ones. My smile fading for a second as i took in his beauty. “Thank you,” i stammered as i could feel the buzz in my head, everything in my body telling me how bad i wanted the boy standing in front of me. “Don’t worry about it,” he spoke as he held out his hand, i took it, shaking my head laughing, “y/n” i spoke as a smile lit up on his face, “Shawn,” he spoke as he pulled me after him towards the kitchen. 

The kitchen wasn’t nearly as crowded as before, and the music wasn’t as loud, “sure you are okay?” he spoke, i nodded as i took a sip from my drink and by that emptying the cup placing it on the counter. I smiled up at him, “yeah don’t worry about me,” i could almost not even form a sentence. My finger tips were tingling, aching to wrap myself around his neck, just placing my lips on his. But i wouldn’t, he didn’t seem so interested in me, so i held back. “Shawn,” someone called loudly from the door, “come on buddy, we promised to get Jack,” the person shouted as shawn turned is gaze to me again. “Hope to see you later?” he spoke as he lifted his eyebrow challenging. “Definitely,” i spoke as he smiled and turned around. 

I let out a breath which i didn’t even notice that i had been holding. My legs felt like jelly, i’d never experienced anything like this before. I mean yes, he was drop dead gorgeous, but not only that, he seemed so polite and sweet. I shook my head, as i poured myself another way too strong drink before making my way out on the dance floor again. Joining some of the girls from my classes, letting the alcohol and music taking over slowly. I closed my eyes as i enjoyed just being here, feeling high into the air. 


As the night went on, i was still on the dance floor, currently sipping on the umpteenth drink. Everything spinning around me as the bass vibrated through my body. As partition started playing, the girls around me cheering in anticipation for the song, some strong hands wrapped around my waist, guiding me against the firm body behind me. Being this intoxicated i didn’t even mind, nor bother who the person behind me was. Big hands squeezed my sides as he pushed me closer to him. 

Lingering touched against my body as i moved my body against his. Hands wandering up and down my sides as my hands wrapped around the neck of the tall figure behind me. “Suddenly such a bad girl,” the person spoke, which made everything in me freeze and every hair on my body rise from the skin. Because as clear as the sun on a frosty morning i could one hundred percent hear to whom this voice belonged. I turned around staring into shawns far away gaze looking down at me, “suddenly,” i teased, “what are you talking about,” as grabbed is arms and started to swing my hips again. He smiled at my comment and grabbed my hips once again. 

“Who would have thought,” he laughed as he pulled my closer. His body heat affecting me more than it probably should. Everything in me was pulsing and vibrating just at the thought of him this near. I traced my hand down his arm and onto his chest, tracing it down his stomach, feeling muscles flex under my touch. “What did you expect?” i whispered as his face came closer to mine, “you seem like such a good girl,” he teased as his hand snaked around my waist. His eyes glimmering in the light from above us. His face flawless and so close to me. Just asking for one thing, to be kissed. But i held back. 

“I am a good girl, shawn,” i whispered, i breathed out his name, almost making it sound sexual, his jaw clenched as i could see the effect had on him. I smiled as i moved closer to him, “or what do you want me to be for you,” i spoke. This wasn’t like me normally, but i loved to see what it did to him, and as the alcohol was speaking more than i was myself, i couldnt bear the thought of stopping now. “Fuck,” he whispered as he stepped even closer to me, not even thinking it was possible to come closer to his body. His face inching closer to mine, his breath feeling hot against my lips.

Everything in me screamed for us to connect, for us to finally touch. And without hesitation he pressed his lips to mine. I stood on my toes as his arms wrapped around me. My hands tangling in his hair as the sensation overtook me. His lips moving against mine slowly and softly. His tongue licking my bottom lip gently as i parted my lips slightly wanting to feel him even more. He tasted of alcohol and maybe something that could be made out as a faint taste of weed. I smiled as pulled his hair, earning a small moan from his lips. I smiled as i pressed my body closer to his, almost melting into one. 

His tongue fighting mine, before after something that seemed like several minutes we pulled apart, lips lingering on each other as long as they could. My breathing quickened as my eyes met his, “I need you,” he spoke, it wasn’t louder than a whisper, but i heard him clearly. I breathed out, “then take me,” i smiled as his face lit up in a smirk, his eyes turning a few shades darker. He grabbed my hand as he pulled me into the back yard, i looked around wondering if he actually wanted to do this outside. But he suddenly turned around a corner and in front of us was a rounded staircase leading up to an open balcony door. 

He let go off my hand as he stepped up the stairs, i was following closely behind him as he stepped into the dimly lit room. It was quiet and empty. I closed the door behind me as i looked around the room, “whose is this,” i spoke as he locked the door, “one of my friends’” he spoke, “are we allowed to be up here,” i questioned, “who cares,” he shot at me, “i thought you could be a bad girl for once,” he smiled cockily. “Oh shut up,” i spoke as i approached him, connecting our lips once again. His hands grabbing my waist before taking control completely. He turned me around and pushed me against the wardrobe standing in the room. 

I moaned out as he pressed my body hardly against the cold wood. His lips trailing down my neck as he pushed my shirt off my shoulders. The cool air hitting my skin. Sucking bruises into my tender skin as i moaned under his touch. He smiled onto my skin, “someone is excited all of a sudden,” he teased as he traced his fingers up and down my thigh. I pulled at his roots harshly in response, he sucked in a breath as i pulled him up to my face again. 

“Are you always this annoying,” i spoke with a smile on my face as i connected our lips again. he laughed as he relaxed a bit, “only with you my love,” he spoke as he gave into the kiss. Taking my chance i turned us around. My small figure pressing him to the wardrobe, he chuckled as i traced my hands up his thighs. Slowly palming him over his jeans, he sucked in a breath as he moaned “someone is excited all of a sudden,” i mocked him as i could feel him pulse under my hands. He rolled his eyes, My lips connecting with the bare skin of his exposed neck, nibbling and kissing on his bare skin. 

My hands pulling at the hem of his shirt as he lifted it off his body. My eyesight greeted with his soft and flawless skin. I stared at him, taking in his perfection. He chuckled as he lifted a finger under my chin, pulling me into another kiss. His tongue roaming my mouth as he kissed me pushing me against the opposite wall. For a one night stand this was surprisingly tender and loving, not that i did mind. His hands cupping my breast, as i ridded myself off my shirt as i broke the kiss, his hands grabbing my now bear upper body. His crotch pressing into mine. 

The friction between our jeans had me trembling under him. My legs shaking, almost ready to give in again. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” he spoke as he started to move his crotch against me. Making my thong rub against my clit. I moaned at the sensation, almost ready to release right this second. His hands wandering from my sore nipple down to my clothed heat. He rubbed me across my jeans as his hands moved up and down on my center. I moaned as i pressed myself closer to him. “I need you,” he spoke as he rubbed me harder, “if you keep doing that to me,” i spoke referring to his hand, “i won’t be able to last longer,” he stopped as he pushed me backwards against the bed falling on top of me. 

Supporting his weight on his elbows as he looked down my half naked body. He pushed me further on top of the bed as he started to kiss down my neck. My head falling back into the pillows as he kissed down the valley of my breasts, sucking a bruise in between them before moving further down. Starting to unbutton my jeans as he pulled them down my legs. “Look who has soaked herself,” he spoke. His breath hitting my wet underwear. I moaned as i looked down at him, he laughed as he pulled down my thong. 

The alcohol giving me confidence as he he blew against my wet heat. “So fucking beautiful,” he spoke as he slowly licked form the bottom of my slick folds to my clit. I moaned as my hand traveled to his hair, pulling on it. My eyes shutting as stars exploded in front of my pitch back sight. “Look at me,” he rasped as he stared to suck on my clit. Aching like never before, i looked down at him, his almost black eyes met mine, his lips working against me. I arched my back as i moaned, trying my hardest not to throw my head back. “Fuck, shawn” i screamed as he pressed my back down to the mattress again. 

His wet tongue working against me, fingers slowly teasing my entrance slowly. My legs wrapping around his upper body, “look. at. me” he spoke as he sucked on my clit hardly making me scream out in pain, “shawn,” he chuckled as he pushed a finger inside of me. “Fuck,” i cursed as i broke the eye contact once again. My one hand standing in his hair as the other on covered my mouth trying to muffle my moans, he had me a trembling and shaking mess already, “don’t,” he spoke as he grabbed my hand, getting more rough. 

“I want to hear your moans,” he growled. “Shawn i need you,” i spoke this time before pulling at his hair. His lips leaving mine looking up at me, looking like someone who wouldn’t listen to me. He suddenly moved up my body, “you need to taste yourself baby, you taste to fucking good, “ as he without a warning kissed me hardly. Tasting myself on his tongue, he moaned into my mouth as he kissed me sloppily. His hands pushing down his trousers before hovering over me. 

“And this is for not letting me finish you my way,” he spoke as i could feel him rub against me. His dick moving up and down my clit before he grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head. Sweat already glistening on my forehead, watching him in anticipation. Feeling on a complete high as he started to push inside of me. He moaned out, a sound from the deepest of his throat. Only the sound of that was ready to make me cum right then and there. His hands gripping mine tighter as he kept pushing into me. 

I moaned as i was filled and stretched. It didn’t hurt, but it was a new sensation. He was big. And he knew it. He was on top of me with so much confident it had him shining. “Holy,” a strand of curse words escaped his lips before pulling out again. “You are so fucking tight,” he spoke as he pushed in. Not even making me get used to him, but i didn’t care, this side of him was enough to make me throb even more. I moaned as i turned my head to the side. Moaning into the pillow. “Fuck,” i screamed as he started to kiss down my neck once again. 

Kissing the tender bruises he had left earlier. His dick hitting deeper and deeper every time. “You feel so good y/n” he moaned as he licked on my skin. “I need to touch you,” i spoke as i panted every time he pushed into me again with a new force. The sound of skin against skin filled the room with the slight sound of music being played downstairs. He let go of my hands as i grabbed his shoulder pulling him even closer to me. I traveled them down his back as i scratched him slightly “yes,” he whispered as i lifted my leg up. 

He harhsly grabbed it as he pushed it over his shoulder. I screamed out as he hit me at another angle now. His hands supporting his weight as he pounded into me. Stretching my walls to the fullest as he moaned louder. My other leg landed on his shoulder. “Fuck, that is so sexy,” he spoke. “Whatever you wish for,” i spoke referring to earlier, “I want you just the way you are,” he spoke, sounding vulnerable but also demanding at the same time. His hips slamming against mine. 

Our bodies starting to glisten and stick to each other as he kissed me hardly. His hips starting to grind into me instead of pounding. Staying in me, filled up the fullest, he stayed in. Making me moan as his tip kept touching that exact spot. “Shawn!” I moaned as he kept rolling his hips against me. “Just. Like. That.” i moaned in between pants. My head was spinning as his hands started to grab my boobs. Flicking my nipple hardly between his fingers, I moaned at the mixture of pain and pleasure. “I think I’m coming,” he spoke as his thrusts turned more hard once again. 

“come for me then,” i spoke as i dug my nails into his back hardly. His head dropped to my shoulder as he moaned. His breath hitting my skin hardly as he moaned loader. The most beautiful sounds leaving his lips. I moaned as i could feel him release inside of me. His hands finding my clit, kneading on it hardly, knowing just how to trigger me, without even knowing how he did it. How he knew exactly how to get me off. 

I came all at once, my sight being dulled as everything turned white for a second, washing every other feeling out of my body than the sense of his voice and breath next to me and his body against mine. For something like this, it felt like something i had never tried before. “Wow,” shawn spoke, i nodded in agreement as i relaxed into the sheets. “You were right,” he spoke. I looked at him as he rolled off me. “You are a bad girl,” i cocked up my eyebrow questioning him “but just in the best way possible,” i chuckled. “You want me to be that?” i whispered. 

 “how about we get of here and head over to my place, and you can show me once again how good you can be” he spoke all of a sudden. I smiled up at with a twinkle in the eye, loving were he was going. “oh can’t get enough of me now,” he laughed as he got up and looked me into the eye as he laughing shook his head, “nope”. 

The Night

Kozik Imagine based on the song “The Night” by Honne

Originally posted by assbutt-trumpet

“Oh my god! Yes!” You moaned while throwing your head back and bitting your lip, still riding out your orgasm; flawless as usual; harder than ever, sweaty as always. The storm outside didn’t helped at all, not the cold wind or the equally cold rain couldn’t put your steam off. You were on fire. “Oh god, baby!”  You whimpered. He grunted under you, his breathing slowing down as the act was over. 

Moan: noun, plural noun; moans. a long, low sound made by a person expressing physical or mental suffering or sexual pleasure. That was the definition; but you came up with one yourself.  Moan: Everything you could do when Herman was with you. He held tight on your sides, digging his fingers leaving love prints for tomorrow morning; As he pulled out of you you laid on your back, staring at the wrecked ceiling of his house; And there was peace for a second, thunder and rain outside,  sweet sweat and heavy breathing inside. Herman laughed slightly as he turned on his side, smirking at you. “And well?” You laughed back and nodded caressing his cheek. He turned silent and serious for a moment as he rubbed his face on your palm, closing his eyes. Your smile fell a little as you bit your lip. 

The moment was gone within a few seconds as he got up smiling at you and grabbing some clean boxers from the drawer and getting into the bathroom. You sighed and smiled into the darkening room, being lighted only by a dying night table lamp, making the whole environment pink-ish. You picked up your pink tongue and slide it on top of you, then, you proceeded with picking up your t-shirt from the ground, sliding it on as well. You looked out the open window, the whole city of Tacoma being drowned in rain drops; making you think; and thinking was always dangerous for people like you. 

You turned around as you heard the faint sound of the shower running. 

You met Kozik a year ago and since the moment you kissed on a drunken affair, you began with this silly game you called “dating”. It started as a one night stand, who grew into this thing none of you knew for sure. You lusted after each other, and you cared for him, but your heart was always on the run, as well as his, and as you lighted up your cigarette and tried to find your jeans, he emerged from the bathroom. You were caught on the act as you smirked at him, blowing off the smoke. 

                        spend the night and i will make it worth your while

                     let’s build the life that we can both life out of style 

                         come into the light don’t you think to run a mile 

You knew what he was going to say, even before he knew himself. He dropped the towel in the floor and walked two steps towards you. Outside, the rain stopped, but the lighting was still going strong. 4 letters, one single word and you would become both warm hearted and uneasy. 

“Stay.”  He said as he licked the drops of shower off his lips. You smiled at him, shyly as you looked around the room, trying to find an excuse, something to get you out of this. Out of commitment. “(Y/N)…” He walked closer and grabbed your hand, inter-winning your fingers with his. 

“It’s not going to work.” You said, sounding so sure of yourself. 

“And how do you know that?” He was sure of himself, as well. More than you, less scared, or, equally scared but willing to have his heart broken by you. You let yourself go as he brought you closer, hands now on your sides and your look mixed with his. You were one to deny the shivers down your spine whenever that happened. “You never gave us a chance…” He said staring down at your lips. 

“You want to become something we’re not..” You said caressing his face and smiling at him in the dark. “What are you planning, Herman Kozik?” He smiled at the sound of his own name coming from your voice. “White collar couple. I wait for you at home, we have sex every 6 weeks, I ask you when are you going to ask me to marry..” you laughed. “You finally do, maybe out of pressure, out of…” you took a big breath, a muffled whimper as he pulled you closer and made you felt all of him once again. He hid a smirk. “Love…and at the end, you die…SAMTAC finally kills you…” He laughs slightly as you peck his lips. “Fear the reaper.” You whisper. 

He shakes his head and hisses. “I have another picture for you.” You lift your eyebrows at this. “I do; Look…” He picks you up easily and lays you down,getting on top of you. “Herman and (Y/N). You move your things here, we sell your house and you buy yourself that nice El Camino you always drool over at Main Street.” You laugh as he kisses your stomach slowly.  “I come back home, sometimes early, sometimes really late, so late you’ll hate me and i’ll fuck you senseless…or I’ll make love to you, your call…” You felt yourself blush as he had reach your lips, whispering in front of them. “It’s raining. Stay the night…” He asked once again.

Your inner monologue started. Maybe it was time to settle down, slow down your run and look around you. You knew this wasn’t a fling and it was clear this wasn’t a one night stand. “(Y/N)…” He whispered once again but you decided to ignore him. There he was, Herman Kozik, ex junkie, ex marine, ex everything. You loved how much he could change himself and still remain the same deep down inside, maybe with new ink, diffidently new bruises, new ideas. How could you be so sure you, with time, will become something from his past? Something boring. People could call you crazy and a bitch but you didn’t wanted to have your heart hurt. 

Even with all this against you; you nodded slightly as the most beautiful smile appear in front of you. And then he kissed you, as sweet as honey as hot as hell, his lips attacked yours in a slow mouth open dance you’ve loved all these months. He grabbed your butt cheeks and lifted you up, licking your bottom lip as you sat down on his lap.

He stared up at you, smiling and you couldn’t help your blush. “I’ll make it worth it…”

“Don’t grow tired of me…” You said caressing his chest, over the ink, over his heart. 

“Never…” He said getting up and pulling you closer, chest to chest as he slowly removed your shirt. You wouldn’t be needing it.  After all, this was your home now.

                      If your lips are near me; you’ll be my baby

                                 oh, yes you will, yes you will 

The Host - Dean Winchester x Reader - Part 2

Title: The Host

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word count: 1,716

Warnings: None

Theme Song: Radioactive by Imagine Dragons 

Read Part 1 here!

 

“Let me ask you, why did I even let you take control of the car?!” Dean groaned in Hunter’s head.

“Well your exact words were ‘Come on it will be fun! You should learn how to drive, sooner or later’ ” Hunter said and Dean groaned more.

“Yeah, well, you know what. Shut up ok!? When I said 'Learn driving’ I did not mean 'Do everything you can to crash our car’ ” Dean replied.

“But I told you that it would be hard for me to control the car” Hunter said in the same voice tone.

“Whatever. Now we are just stuck in the middle of nowhere, with the sun burning hot. Good thing that we did not get killed when the car crashed, at least” Dean groaned.

“Don’t worry we will find the resistance soon. The mountains that they’re hiding must be near” Hunter tried to comfort Dean.

“Yeah, right. As if” Dean mumbled, without realizing that Hunter could actually hear him.

“As if? What do you mean with that?” Hunter suddenly stopped and narrowed his eyes.

His eyes widened in realization “You sent us in the wrong direction!” he exclaimed “You have been putting thoughts in my head to distract me. You ’re not planning to go to the resistance! You never did!” he shouted angrily “The Seeker was right. You are an unreasonable species. I try to help you and this is how you thank me?! I wanted to help you protect your family and you- you lied to me! How could you?!”

“Oh shut up, ok? You take everything too seriously, you know that I lied because I had to. And if it was needed I would have lied again!”Dean responded “And if I have to, then I will make us wander endlessly. I said I was going to protect them and that’s what I’m going to do. I will keep them safe even if that means I go to hell” he said and did not speak any more.

“Yeah well, you sent us both to hell…” Hunter mumbled.

He did not speak more, either, and he just walked. Through the hot desert, the sun burning him, making him feel dizzy. The lack of water in his system helping in that.

It was after what felt like an eternity but was in reality only three hours of walking that Hunter felt his knees give away, his word slowly being surrounded by darkness.

And then silence.

“It’s a body!” a voice was heard in the distance “Quickly Bobby, the water. Bring the water, he must be dehydrated!” the voice added.

Hunter felt two soft hands cupping his face “Oh my God…” the voice breathed out “Dean…” it held a hint of sadness and relief in it.

“Bobby! Hurry!” the voice was now frantic.

It reminded him something, but he could not point his finger on it. He could not really think, though. His whole body felt as if it was on fire and his throat burned, along with his lungs. He found it impossible to breath.

“Here, here” another, manlier and more rough, voice said.

Hunter gasped and coughed as the water run from his mouth to his throat. It felt refreshing but at the same time hurt like a thousand needles in his throat. However it gave him the chance to speak.

“You found us” he breathed out, as soon as he took a glance at your face, closing immediately his eyes to shield them from the sun’s light.

“U-us?” you stuttered as soon as you heard him.

~~

“Come on (y/n), help me wake Dean up or at least carry him in” the man’s voice, whose name obviously was Bobby, said.

“It.” you corrected “It’s not Dean. It's it. His body, yes, but not him. It’s not Dean. It’s just some freaking thing using his body. So, it's it. And I don’t want anything to do with it.” Hunter heard your voice say full of spite.

“Hunter” he groaned, slowly opening his eyes. His voice was rough due to the lack of water “My name is Hunter” he said and looked at you, his eyes filled with pain.

Hunter had never experienced such a feeling, his heart ached, and he was more than sure that it was what Dean felt, because of the way you looked at him.

“And I don’t care.” you said through gritted teeth, immediately storming off.

“Don’t mind her, ok” Bobby’s voice made hunter turn to look at him, his eyes still filed with pain “It’s just hard for her, you know. Seeing her boyfriend being 'possessed’ by somebody else” he gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Bobby, by the way” he added and extended his hand. 

Hunter tilted his head and looked at weirdly “You’re supposed to shake it dumbass” Dean’s voice said in his head and Hunter did as he was told.

“And that-” he pointed to the direction you left “-was (y/n)”

“I know” Hunter said without thinking

“You.. know?” Bobby frowned.

“Y-yeah. Dean. Dean has talked to me about her and I’ve seen his memories” Hunter explained.

“You mean that…” Bobby narrowed his eyes at him.

“Dean is still alive” he pointed to his head “In here”.

A smile appeared on Bobby’s face “What are you waiting for, then. Come on!” Bobby clapped him on the shoulder and Hunter had to keep himself from stumbling, as he walked.

They both walked through what seemed like a cave and soon, after the darkness, light was shoot on their faces. Hunter squinted his eyes, but soon they adjusted to the light. 

He looked around him, and his eyes widened. They were inside the mountain that, he knew, Dean’s family and the resistance lived. Though it was nothing but that. The mountain obviously was hollow, inside of which was set up a whole civilization. Small houses here and there, and in the middle of it a big field with different kind of foods. From weat to any kind of vegetables.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” a voice made Hunter turn to look at a woman glare at him.

“Ellen” Bobby sighed “Please be reasonable”

“No, Bobby. You be reasonable. What do you think you’re doing?! Bring that thing in here!?” she shouted angrily.

“Ellen, it’s not a thing. It’s him! And it is still Dean’s body!” Bobby tried to reason with him.

“I don’t care if it is Dean’s body. It is NOT Dean! Don’t you see that!” she motioned to Hunter “You know what he could do, right?! He could bring a whole army down in our hands! How can you be sure that it does not have Seekers following him? How can you be sure that it did not come here to give us all to them? How can you be sure that it does not want us all dead? How can you be sure that it-”

“It’s Hunter!” a voice said, making Ellen stop.

All eyes turned to look at you… defending him.

“His name is Hunter, and he’s reliable. If Bobby trusts him enough so that he can bring him here, then so do I” you said, standing between him and Ellen, glancing at him for a split second.

“That’s my girl” Dean’s voice said in Hunter’s head, a hint of pride in his soft voice.

“Ellen” it was Bobby this time “Hunter is staying here. Besides he’s our only way of finding out more about The Seekers” he tried to reason with her.

“I assure you I am no threat to you and your family. And I do not intend to put anyone in danger” he finished the last part and looked at you. While you immediately averted your gaze.

“One mistake and you’re out of here” she pointed a finger at Hunter and the people that had gathered around him, now started to go to different directions.

“Very well then” Bobby clapped a hand on his shoulder “You’d better go get ready now. (Y/n) will show you where you will be staying” he said and Hunter looked at you.

“Come with me” you said and made your way to the direction his tent was set up. Big tent for that matter.

“This will be yours. This is your bed, and there you can find a set of clothes to change if you want” you said and motioned from his bed to a small bunch of clothes.

“Thank you” Hunter said sincerely.

“Yeah, no problem” you said, brushing him off.

“For everything. For supporting me too” he added.

“Look, let me make myself clear, ok?” you got closer to him “What I said earlier… forget it. I only said it to prevent an oncoming fight. Got it? I do not trust you, and no matter what Bobby says, I am never going to trust you. Never. You are just one of them. And you will never be one of us. Capiche?” you said through gritted teeth and immediately walked past him.

Hunter pursed his lips and frowned. He would be lying if he said that that did not hurt him.

“And that’s… my girl” Dean’s voice said sarcastically then chuckled.

“How is this amusing?” Hunter mumbled “I can sense that it hurts you when she does not trust you. When she is distant and does not want to have anything that has to do with you”

“Shut up” Dean growled, completely serious now.

“Don’t mind her” a voice said behind him; making Hunter turn to look at a tall man with long brown hair and hazel eyes. He was simply dressed, with a simple plaid shirt and worn out jeans. He reminded him of someone but Hunter could not point his finger at it.

“It’s just a lot for her to take in. First she thought her boyfriend was held captive, or worse dead and now she finds out that he is alive but no longer the man she knew” the tall man gave Hunter a sympathetic smile “Dean meant a lot to her, so, yeah, she is a little bit tense.”

“I can understand that” Hunter nodded, averting his eyes to the floor.

“Sam, by the way” the man extended his hand, with a soft smile “My name’s Sam”

“Sammy” Dean breathed out.

3

#FlowerDeservedBetter

“He doesn’t have to prove anything to us. He’s been doing that night after night for us in the regular season and playoffs. He’s done a great job for us for a long time. He was great; we could have easily gotten that one.”

– Sidney Crosby

“Every game he’s played, he gave us a chance to win." 

– David Perron 

“Flower has been really solid the last few years. He’s just a focused guy who gives us a chance to win every night. Every night we have one goalie, and he’s picking up everybody and carrying us.” 

– Kris Letang

"Fleury really hung in there for us and gave us a chance every game especially Friday. Whenever we had a breakdown he was there for us. He was exceptional and he’s kind of been like that for us all year. He deserves a lot of credit for the way he played.”

–  Brandon Sutter

“Flower was awesome. Best player in the series, either team.”

– Patrick Hornqvist

13th September, 2017

Sorry I’ve not posted in a little while, nothing’s been happening in class

R poked his head into my art class today and just asked if we were all okay, it was cute. Right after that I had music so I was in his class. He was talking to us about composition and kept looking directly at me to ask questions, it was great but also frustrating when I didn’t know answers lmao. He gave me the chance to try and write a song using guitar and I’m doing pretty well with it! He was playing along on piano and it sounded pretty great so thanks R. I had to grab said guitar from the class G was in, he was so smiley to me

T looked so good yesterday. He always wears the typical shirt and tie but yesterday he had a waistcoat on on top of that and just ?? Ahhh

I keep seeing M way more than usual and I love it? I’m not sure whether I just notice him walking by me now or if he really is just walking around more ahah

Everyone keeps mentioning C and I miss him so much. It’s not a sad mentioning though, it’s people joking about and remembering the things he used to say to our class :// I still have the urge to look into his classroom to say hi every time I walk by.

Fall Is For Football

Summary: The reader finds a relic in the trunk of the Impala.

Author: Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester x female reader

Word Count:  817

Warnings: None, just fluff

Author’s Notes: Written for @the-mrs-deanwinchester ABC’s of Autumn Challenge. My prompt was F for Football. Thank you for letting me post this late. I really appreciate your understanding!

Originally posted by pretty-gifs

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