he doesn't ever have to come out because the people around him just know him deeply enough

anonymous asked:

Felicity has repeatedly brought up her various reasons for falling in love with Oliver. She's done it at least twice since they broke up even. She knows why she loves him and she's not afraid to tell him. Meanwhile, Oliver has never really said what he loves about her, apart from his vows which were at a desperate time. And she knows he doesn't really trust her. It's all so sad. Her love for Oliver has caused Felicity so much pain. It shouldn't be like that.

Loving someone is painful, Nonnie. Loving someone gives them a huge capacity to hurt you. People you love always hurt you, hopefully not intentionally, but it just happens by the nature of love. It doesn’t necessarily mean that love isn’t right. Children hurt their parents so many times over, but the love is still very real. Children cause pain to their parents because they are underdeveloped and don’t understand the power of their words and actions yet. Olicity were a lot like that. When they first got together there was a juvenile undercurrent to their relationship where neither side really understood themselves or each other. 

And that’s why we’ve gone through all of this. Adversity introduces a person to themselves. Oliver has been introduced to his true self, or at least who he believes he is, and now that can be worked on. Felicity is going through the same. All this pain and suffering will give them more empathy for each other and make them better at loving one another. They will be better people and partners because of all of this. 

As for Oliver not saying ILY enough, well, here’s the thing, we all have different love languages. There are 5 of them in actual fact. 

* Words of affirmation (I love yous, you mean so much to me, you look beautiful today)

* Acts of service (cooking a nice meal, doing work around the house, planning a surprise vacation)

* Quality time (singling out special time for just one on one time together, no distractions, going on dates, doing activities that have significance to you both - like going hiking or boating)

* Gift giving (enjoying surprising people with thoughtful gifts like flowers or breakfast in bed)

* Physical touch (holding hands, back rubs, touching shoulders, sitting close)

One of the big challenges for any couple or relationship is identifying not only your love language but your partners/friend/relation. Your love language is what you will equate to being loved, and it can get tricky if the other person doesn’t share the same love language. For instance, if your love language is quality time, and your partners is gift giving, then him getting up to make you breakfast in bed could come across as slightly annoying to you, even if you appreciate the effort, because it’d meant so much more to you to just lie in bed and snuggle and talk about your plans for that day or what you were thinking about. Both have different love languages and aren’t recognising what the other person needs. 

Here’s another example, my Dad and me. My Dad is a gift giver. I don’t recall him ever telling me he loves me, but I know he does because I have gift giving as my love language too. So, to say I love you, my Dad will do things like go out and buy me a 3 pounds of cheese, because he knows I love cheese. lol Interestingly enough, my mother is all about acts of service, so she tries to be appreciative when he brings her back chocolates and various gifts, but honestly, she’d prefer if he just mowed the lawn. That feels like an expression of love to her, not chocolates. But, you know, 49 years of marriage, they’ve worked it all out and accept and recognise how the other person shows love and devotion. 

From your comment, I’m thinking that one of your love languages is words of affirmation, Nonnie. It’s important for you to hear the words, have the reason for loving someone out there, spoken for them and all the world to hear. So, when looking at other couples, you look for that love language to feel like it’s real or equal. BTW, there is no wrong or lesser love language. They’re all valid and equal. It’s just that we don’t tend to have them all. One or two is usually the limit for most people. 

Oliver’s love language is not words of affirmation. That’s not how he expresses his love for people. How many ILY’s has Thea gotten? Or Diggle? But do you doubt his love for them? Both Oliver and Felicity share physical touch as a love language, and I would say that Oliver’s other LL is acts of service. He protects. He serves. He shields. It’s how he shouts out his love to other people. Him not saying ILY as often as Felicity doesn’t mean he’s lagging in the love race. It means he’s showing it in a different way. I definitely think Felicity’s other LL is words of affirmation. 

And that’s one of the reasons Olicity is in a bit of a pickle. 

Felicity needs words of affirmation from Oliver - I trust you, I see us as equals, I have your back - that’s how she shows and understands love. 

Oliver is showing his love by acts of service - don’t do this, let me shield you, let me protect you from pain and all of the same mistakes I’ve made in my life. 

It’s not about trust or lack thereof. It’s about different love languages working at cross purposes. Felicity understood Oliver’s love languages for a long time, that’s why they got together and she didn’t run screaming from the room from the tangled mass of man pain. But her own pain has clouded her understanding of Oliver’s ways of expressing love these days, and that’s a good thing, because it means Oliver is having to ask more of himself and really examine and understand for himself what went wrong between them. You can’t fix what you don’t understand. 

So, no, for me, Oliver doesn’t need to say ILY or the reasons why he loves Felicity. To me, the reasons are self-evident and don’t need expression. But then, my love language isn’t words of affirmation. Our family is lucky to say the words ILY once a year, but we all know we love each other deeply. ILY’s don’t mean a huge amount to me, but I appreciate and understand they mean a lot to others. It just depends on the writers and what love languages they want to give to Olicity. But just remember, just because it might not be one of your LL’s, doesn’t mean the love isn’t real and equal. :)

anonymous asked:

I know you're a Ned/Cat shipper but what's your opinion on Ned/Ashara because since 6x10, I've seen a lot more about Ned and Ashara. So many people seem willing to bend over backwards to claim that Ashara was 'the love of his life' and he wasn't 'in' love with Cat but he literally never ever thinks about her. I can imagine eighteen year old Ned had a crush on her but I really can't see more than that (+ I think people who say he doesn't love Cat are people who don't like her because of Jon)

Hey nonnie! Oh gosh, this will take a while. Do you have popcorn? Get popcorn.

I think Ned/Ashara never existed. I don’t ship it. I don’t ship Cat with anyone but Ned either. I don’t want to and I never will. Since Ashara’s character was mostly a blank slate, everyone has their own theories about her and so do I. In my opinion, she was the female counterpart of Brandon Stark. If she was described as the most beautiful woman, everywhere, she obviously believed it as well and that would change the way she was raised and the way she acted. And she was a woman from Dorne, so I think she was free spirited whereas Brandon was wild hearted and neither really wanted to be tied down. She probably thought Ned was sweet, but she had more in common with Brandon. Brandon was thrilling, passionate and because he was betrothed, they could have a fling and forget about it, so it makes sense to me that they would gravitate towards each other. There is NO way Brandon who was known to be a womanizer would let go of Ashara being who she was, even for his own brother. So, they slept together and it was his baby Ashara lost.

I think Ned was just befuddled because he found Ashara beautiful, but I don’t deny the possibility that maybe he also had a brief crush on her. Either way, Ned was very clear about his place in the world. He was the second son who was content with being in his brother’s and best friend’s shadow. And also Ashara was highborn, and this is the honourable Ned Stark we’re talking about. He wouldn’t sleep with her and stain her honour. He was so shy he could barely even talk to her and she was probably kind to him while they danced. But, that was the end of it.

Yes, I noticed that the Ned/Ashara fics increased especially after Jon’s parentage reveal on the show. I think many people who weren’t familiar with or didn’t believe in R+L = J were disappointed. To be honest, I have seen some craaazzzy ships, and to each their own but I just don’t know why a lot of those and Catelyn hate fics showed up under Ned/Cat tag. That is what pisses me off and many of my fellow Ned/Cat shippers get that sentiment, we’ve all come across Cat hate at some point. People can ship who they want, but why tag Cat and Ned if its not about their relationship? I have actually stopped going to AO3 unless its for fics written by people I know. There is way too much of “Ned goes to Ashara who is so awesome because Cat is a bitch for what she did to Jon and Ned never really loved her.” I just don’t have time for that BS, to be blunt. And all this is even after the show basically proved that every one of Catelyn’s fears were justified by the events of last season. SMH.

To add to that, the events of Harrenhal led up to the deaths of most of Ned’s family and he was never really shallow to actually associate Harrenhal with ‘oh that one lady I danced with for a bit’. He never even tried to think about it, because who would? It was the time that brought back the immense pain in his life that he had buried deep in his heart. The only good thing that came out of the rebellion was his marriage to Catelyn, his first born son and his nephew. He lost three family members and gained three family members. But the pain was still there and so was the lie that he thought neither Catelyn nor Jon would ever forgive him for.

And in the end, Catelyn was the woman who gave him a family and brought happiness back in his life. The woman who helped him rule and took care of their children. She came to fall in love with him completely, even when she believed he could never love her unless he forgot the mystery woman that birthed his “bastard”. But Ned loved her deeply and completely. He believed she was more than he deserved. Ned also thought Catelyn was the most beautiful woman he had ever met. She was everything to him - her and their children. Simply put, the reason Ned never thought about Ashara is because…why would he? His last thoughts were that of the woman who actually was his one true love - Catelyn. He just wanted to leave everything behind and take his family home and just pull her in his arms and sleep for a long time. He missed her terribly and just the idea of never seeing her was so painful that he couldn’t even think about it. 

Anyone who has read the books or even paid attention to the brilliant chemistry Sean Bean and Michelle Fairley had on the show knows that. And I say this often, but I’ll say it again: For Ned, it was always Catelyn and only Catelyn.

Ha! That was a lot. Thanks for sticking around and being patient enough to read all this. Its why it took me a bit to write this response. But thanks for asking my opinion, dear anon! Have a lovely day/night! Also, I hope that popcorn was nice :P

The Signs as People I've Come To Know
  • Note that everyone described was born under the sign they are listed next to.
  • Aries: He doesn't really know fear, but when he does it's intense fear. More than anything, he is a daredevil, going from place to place and from person to person quickly and dangerously. He tells jokes until they're soiled and sour and you just wanna tell him to shut up, but you know you aren't going to because his stupid jokes that often make no sense and aren't even funny are all a part of what makes him who he is, so you can't help but laugh, and at the end of the day that's a person you find yourself always coming back for. A person you just genuinely want to be around for a long time. He can be air headed, but he protects ferociously and is endearingly kind to strangers. Inside, he never quite lost his childlike nature, something I hope he can one day embrace. I also hope he can one day understand, he is not his mistakes.
  • Taurus: She has a lot to say that she keeps inside, but whenever she does speak it is always soulful and insightful beyond description. It's so easy for her to get lost in her own mind, and though she doesn't care to admit it, it happens a lot that she shuts down and isolates herself. But everything is honestly better when she's around. Sometimes it's hard to convince her of that, but she has an inner and outer beauty that glows on everyone she meets. She doesn't realize other people take notice of her radiance. When she retreats, it's not uncommon for her to be quiet and not really know how to explain why she's feeling the way she is, and yet she approaches things with such an extreme level of insight and consideration. She makes everyone around her proud. Introverted as she may be, she pampers all her friends, even when they may not deserve it, and she's more brave and outspoken than I think she understands. She is one of the people who genuinely makes me happy.
  • Gemini: She is curious about almost anything and everything, and invests fully into things that interest her. It's actually beyond pleasant to watch her work out a task she loves working on, or talk about anything she loves in general, because her eyes light up and she has this smile on her face and you can just tell in that moment she loves being heard and she loves sharing what she's come to find wonderful with someone. I wouldn't call her quiet, at times she is, but I would first use the adjective "thoughtful" to describe her, as her mind is constantly generating new ideas. She processes and remembers information quickly and speaks about her feelings almost fluently. More than anything, I hope she knows I am always there for her. I hope she knows how much people love her. She is so kind, and a delight to be around.
  • Cancer: She has been through a lot. She used to walk through life with a heavy heart, but she is trying to learn how to remove the crutches and take everything as it comes. Very driven by her emotions, she experiences drastically different periods of highs and lows, but never lets anyone go to bed without knowing how much she loves them and cares about them. She has certainly been done wrong by the world, and this has led her to experience frequent trust issues and to on occasion become suspicious about other people's motives. However, this doesn't stop her from giving her all to those she loves, even if at times they may not completely deserve her help or her advice. She often settles for less than what she deserves, but I hope that she can eventually come to understand she need not settle and need not cater to people who do her wrong. She should look out for herself too, it's something she owes herself.
  • Leo: Though I haven't known her for very long, it's clear how influential she is and how in tune she is to other people's feelings. She seems very open to the world around her, and has no problem expressing herself without fear of what other people may think. She always does her makeup almost flawlessly, and you can tell she dresses for herself and no one else, and only worries about impressing one person, her. She is extremely loyal to those she cares about, and often talks about them as if they are wonders of the world. Even if you haven't spoken to her before, you will want to, because she gives off extremely positive and warm vibes, and publicly stands for everything and everyone she happens to believe in. She has a big personality, but a beautiful one at that, she is a true individual, and is one of the only other Leo's I've come to know, as well as one I hope to know better soon.
  • Virgo: She is wise beyond her years. She often works harder than most adults I've seen, although she is young in age. She always wants to make sure she has a say, but it's just as important to her that other people do, too. Other people don't always treat her as nicely as she deserves to be treated, and it's because they think they don't understand her, but in reality, they wish they had the heart and bravery that she does. She has accomplished and been through so much in such a short period of time, and she never let it taint all the love in her heart. She can be a bit anxious and scared, waking up at night after a nightmare or worrying she has not done her best, but she always gives her all, and I strongly believe there is nothing she cannot surmount or accomplish. Always willing, always eager to help. I wish I had her strength. I wish I had the beauty of her soul. I hope she someday sees how magnificent she is.
  • Libra: He is a character, he has always been a character dating back from the first day that we met. Everything he does and everything he says is with good intent and magnifies his already vibrant personality. Overall, he is a people's person, friends with everyone who is kind and attentive toward him. And he plans to keep it that way. He always tries to see the best in everyone. Although sometimes he cannot continue this and experiences outbursts of anger, they are usually temporary and he can move on from situations quickly. He is a marvelous friend. Creative, funny, often indirect, but always there in some form. Half the things that Come out of his mouth are jokes, but when he speaks and he's being serious, all you can hear is his heart speaking too. He's great to have around.
  • Scorpio: He says that he has a twisted mind, but really he's just into a lot of horror movies and has extreme reactions to otherwise small situations. I couldn't see him harming a fly, unless the fly went and did something to really piss him off. He can be a little self centered, but he is also self sufficient and just wants to make sure he himself is okay. When he starts something, it'll get done before he moves onto the next thing, and he's not really one to leave anyone with unanswered questions as he's pretty intense and direct. He's great to talk to because no silence is ever awkward, some of those silences are necessary and he knows it. He won't let things stay quiet for too long, either. One of my favorite things about him is once you've been a part of his life, he'll never forget about you. Even if you're miles and miles away.
  • Sagittarius: He gets extremely excited about small things, like going on a trip or hanging out with his friends and playing video games. He knows no part of life is insignificant, and that everything we go through either means something or leads to something else, but he also knows when to let go and stop worrying about things that are out of his control. Overall, he loves to have fun. He loves to laugh with his friends and share what makes him happy. When people disagree with him, he can become rather snippy, and might even resort to telling them they are flat out "wrong." He doesn't realize he's being rude, but often it just doesn't come out the way he would like because he speaks exceedingly freely. That's what he is, a free spirit. He makes decisions for himself and is not afraid of his opinions. He will share them willingly with anyone who asks and takes great pride in being who he is and leading the adventure called his life.
  • Capricorn: She is aware of who she is, what her limits are, and what her intentions are as well. Though sometimes she surprises others by acting the way one wouldn't have expected, she is consistently trying to take responsibility for things she know she's done wrong and does not like it when people refuse to acknowledge it when she has been acting like a fool. She holds herself accountable for many things, even when they are not exactly her fault, and she refuses to be kept in the dark for too long. When people don't like her, she wants an explanation, because she always tries to do her best and be the best version of herself she can become. It hurts her to consider that she is not doing well with that. She wants stability and security, she wants to be able to feel safe in situations, and that's all a part of what she fights for. Overall, life is a fight she does not want to lose. And one she will not allow herself to.
  • Aquarius: She is one of the most artistic people I've had the privilege of meeting, and decorates everywhere she goes and everything she creates with her glowingly positive vibes. She cares deeply about her friends, and however quiet she has a brilliant way of words, and is a phenomenal person to have a late night (or any time of day really) conversation with. She understands life on a deep level that not a lot of people do. Although she may not always feel comfortable completely showing her emotions, she is not afraid to be in touch with them and always knows how to nicely phrase them. I'm grateful that when I ask her what's wrong, she doesn't lie to me and she trusts me enough to talk to me about it. I know it's not always the type of thing that's easy for her. She is artistically talented in every aspect, and aims to perfect her performance in all she does. But honestly, the way she adds her own flair to all she accomplishes and makes it so original is an amazing thing to witness in itself.
  • Pisces: He doesn't understand the impact he can have on others. It is not uncommon for him to get so lost in his thoughts he forgets about the rest of the world, but he seemingly always finds his way back. Whenever he drifts, he will usually talk about it at one point or another, and he always has all these philosophical things to say that never cease to amaze me. His speech is always sweet and fluid, and he always sees things, both their interior and their exterior. Even though sometimes he asks silly questions, he's highly perceptive and caring. He loves having a good time, but he loves talking about life and all it entails as well, and he knows that both those things can overlap. He's one of the greatest friends I think I will ever know, and he always tries to be, even if at times he can't. I wish he came out everyday.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I really love your blog and your writing is amazing. Since requests are open, can you write a slightly angsty/fluff for Cassim where his s/o is Alibaba's twin. And he doesn't feel like he's good enough for them. I hope this isn't confusing.


Cassim was unusually quiet that night at dinner. While his s/o chattered contently about their day, what they did, the people they met, and such and so forth, he absentmindedly poked at his food. He wasn’t hungry, as good as the meal looked. He couldn’t fight the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach, sitting like tar on the lining of his insides and making every bite taste ever so bitter.

Cassim’s s/o smiled at him, his personal ray of sunshine. It’s said that opposites attract, and Cassim felt that couldn’t be more true. His s/o was… good. They were kind, and generous, and believed in the world. They saw the good in everyone. They had hope.

But if they were his sunshine, Cassim believed that he must be their rainy day. He was jaded, filled with anger and way to direct it. He distrusted people as a policy, believing everyone else in the world must be as manipulative and malicious as he was. He was a bad person, or so he believed, and his s/o deserved so much better.




His s/o’s voice calling his name snapped him from his self-loathing train of thought. He looked up, his face plagued with malcontent.

“Is something wrong” His s/o asked.

Cassim breathed deeply, not letting this opportunity pass him by. This was for their own good.

“We can’t be together anymore” He said flatly, his voice devoid of emotion.

He heard his s/o protesting, asking him what they had done, telling him they can talk through their problems, desperately trying to save their relationship, but Cassim couldn’t listen. It hurt him too deeply.

He stood abruptly. Tossing his napkin onto the table, he walked towards the door.

“I’ll come get my things later.”

But before Cassim could make it out the door, his s/o’s tearful voice broke his resolve.

“At least tell me why.”

Cassim’s hand wrapped tight around the doorknob, he tells them, in painful detail, just how bad he is for them. He would only ruin them, bring them down to his level. He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t be responsible for destroying someone so good by being selfish enough to try to keep them in his life.

At least this way, he knows there’s always a little sunshine in the world.

The tears started to stream down Cassim’s face. His feet felt like lead. When his s/o came to his side, he was defenseless to pull away from their touch. Brushing the tears from their face, and then his own, his s/o reassured him,

“I see so much good in you, you may not see it, but I know it’s there.”

Smiling to themselves ever so slightly, they add,

“And besides, it takes sun and rain to make the plants grow.”

anonymous asked:

We are pissed because Beth didn't deserve to die and she sure as hell didn't deserve to die the way she did. She was one of the good ones and she was young. She could have had a life to help Daryl. It's not that I hate Carol but if you compare her she doesn't measure up and you know it. She killed, she is depressed, she is old and logically it doesn't make sense for her to survive the way she did. It's not all about shipping. Beth was just better.


You know I wasn’t going to answer your messages because initially I really thought there was absolutely no way you were serious or if you were serious then it had to be the work of a drama causing “troll”!

I mean you single handedly, in one shot summarized exactly what these Beth’s death arguments boil down to and thereby proved every single suspicion everyone has about the motivations of a certain sect of your ship.

Essentially what you are saying is that this isn’t about what Beth “deserved” but what Carol didn’t deserve.

This isnt about Beth not deserving to die but about the fact that you believe that Carol didn’t deserve to live over Beth.

It’s not about why Beth didn’t walk out of that hospital but why Carol walked out instead.

You are right - it’s not ALL about shipping or ALL about Daryl - BUT your message almost makes me wish that it was because what you are suggesting or implying is even worse.

According to you and those that think like you Beth’s life was more deserving than Carol on every level - you have decided that if one of the two “women” had to die, the one you think was “worth” more to the whole world was Beth and therefore you are “pissed off” that her life was over and Carol’s still continues.

You have your reasons and you use them to justify your hateful rationale because it makes you feel better about them and through them you get to perpetuate this “victimized” mentality you are caught up in and therefore your stance can be used to further compare two lives, two entirely different people and two women who continue being pitted against one another even though one of them is GONE.

The worst part is that the hate this “comparison” study is only furthering the maliciousness going on amongst their fans and thereby only breeds more hate towards the “surviving character” some like you find unworthy of living or existing even.

Well here we go;

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