he cares. he CARES. he cares TOO MUCH. and i care too much about his character arc

The Final Problem is bad and boring and here is why

I had to rewatch TFP yesterday (IN GERMAN!) with a bunch of friends. I hadn’t watched it after it aired in January, and it had developed into some kind of uber-evil episode for me. Because it ruined the whole show for me. Because it didn’t make any sense. I remembered it as tense and brutal. But, you know what - it isn’t. It’s just really, really boring and very badly done.

Because:

Do yourself a favour and watch the Why Sherlock is Garbage video. Watch the whole of it, especially the first hour. Because there he explains why Mofftiss are really bad writers for television. One point in their favour I see over and over again is that Mofftiss couldn’t suddenly have forgotten how to write good telly, therefore Sherlock, especially S4, and especially TFP, must have a deeper meaning, are fake, a social experiment, whatever. Just: NO! This argument crashes - because they are really bad writers. They are very good at coming over as clever for a while - but in the end it’s revealed that there is nothing behind all the suspense they are building, that all their arcs lead nowhere, that nothing means anything or has any consequences. The guy explains this by analysing DW and Jekyll - and you find all of this in Sherlock as well. Like, they constantly up the ante - but with no plan or goal in mind, just for the sake of it. Or that the most important moments of the stories happen off screen. Or that they don’t follow the basic rule of show, don’t tell. Or that they never explore their characters’ motivations. We never learn why people do anything on this show. I will talk about this later. Those are basic writing skills! And they just throw them overboard. Which is not a very good idea.

Me, spewing an angry rant, below the cut. 

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Here’s the thing about the new canon.

Essentially they want us to watch the Original Trilogy, completely invested in the fact that our heroes will triumph, and then they want us to watch The Force Awakens and just be totally OK with the fact that everything we were just presented with over the course of three films is out the window.

They want Star Wars fans to spend several hours watching Han and Leia’s love story, watching them fight for each other, overcome personal obstacles to be together, make incredible sacrifices for each other–they want us to spend ESB and ROTJ rooting for them, want us to watch Han hold her close as they both smile at the end of the trilogy, want us to be happy and hopeful and thrilled that their true love has made it through–and then they want us to watch TFA and see that their marriage failed, and they want us to accept it.

They want us to get invested in our heroes–in Han and Luke and Leia–and desperately hope that they all make it through. They want us to be invested in their personal allegiances to one another to the point that we KNOW that Han will come back at the battle of Yavin for Luke and Leia, we KNOW that he’ll go out into freezing conditions to rescue Luke, we KNOW that he’ll run into Echo Base to rescue Leia on Hoth, we KNOW that Luke will ignore his Jedi Masters and abandon his training to go rescue Leia and Han on Bespin, we KNOW that Leia will risk her safety to go back for Luke at Cloud City, we KNOW that Luke and Leia will leave the rebellion and put themselves at risk to rescue Han, WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW. The new canon wants us to sit there KNOWING ALL THESE THINGS, knowing that they are the most important damn things in the galaxy to one another, knowing that they’re family and that they love each other. They want us to know it and be invested in it and root for it–root for the strength of that bond and that loyalty and root for them all to make it through together–for all of them to triumph together. And they do!

And then TFA wants us to COMPLETELY CHANGE OUR MINDS and accept that all of that is destroyed. That bond is broken. Luke has abandoned his friends for some reason. Han has left Leia. Leia is all alone. And not only has that crucial bond just been cast aside, but their triumphs have all been undone. Empire defeated?? Welcome to Empire 2.0!!! Death Stars destroyed??? Welcome to Death Star 3.0!!!! Vader redeemed???? Welcome to Vader 2.0, and even worse, he’s your own damn son/nephew AND he kills Han!!!!!! It just takes their victory and deconstructs every single piece of it, and the only possible way that that maybe could have been tolerable would have been if AT LEAST they were still together, still true to the loyalty we knew, unstoppable and united no matter what new dangers they face, and they’re NOT. The Original Trio, the most beloved and iconic characters of all time, are just completely leveled to NOTHING. Fractured and broken up and reduced to these miserable un-versions of themselves. And the new canon wants you, as a Star Wars fan to accept this, because “Don’t worry!! We have these three shiny NEW heroes for you!!!! They’ll get a happy ending for sure!!!!” But??? What??? I don’t give a shit about their ending, what about the ending we were already supposed to have had???? The one you made me hope for for three damn movies??? The one I was lead to believe was true???? What about that ending??????

No, they decided that they were going to go back thirty years after the fact and change it.

But wait, you say, how did this happen??? How could these people at Lucasfilm who were claiming to “protect” Star Wars destroy Luke and Leia and Han like that?? How could they write a Han Solo who abandons Leia to do all the fighting all alone when there’s a fascist regime routinely trying to kill her and their son is a part of it and her brother has vanished without a trace??? How could they write a Luke who’s evidently turned his back on the galaxy–on the FAMILY–that needs him??? How could they have DESTROYED LEIA’S WHOLE LIFE????? ALL of their lives???? And for seemingly no reason!!!! They could have easily written a movie to introduce the new characters and create conflict without dismantling every single thing about our beloved trio and their dynamic. But they didn’t. They slaughtered them.

And then you listen to these people speak. And they start saying things like Leia clearly could never have been an attentive mother because she was too preoccupied with politics and her career. Han could never have been happy settling down and committing to something–not even his family–so OBVIOUSLY he left and he’s smuggling again. Han and Leia were too incompatible and could never have worked. Luke is off in EXILE because AREN’T ALL JEDI MASTERS SUPPOSED TO BE IN EXILE???????????

And you’re just. You’re floored. You’re blown away. It’s like those people didn’t even fucking WATCH Star Wars. Did they completely miss the fact that Leia’s character arc is about learning to care about things that aren’t the rebellion, and learning to rely on people–not just herself???? Did they not see how much she’s already lost–LITERALLY HER ENTIRE WORLD–and how much she had to suffer before she finally got something that was hers again? Did they not see the hell she had to go through to get it???? Did they really think she would throw that away after all that–did they think that LEIA of all people couldn’t have balanced a career and a family????

Were they just twiddling their thumbs when HAN SOLO’S ENTIRE FREAKING STORY IS ABOUT REALIZING THAT HE’S NOT A SMUGGLER, NOT SELFISH, NOT THAT MAN ANYMORE–MAYBE NEVER REALLY WAS THAT MAN. LEARNING TO COMMIT–TO STAY WITH LEIA AND LUKE AND THE REBELS AND SACRIFICE HIMSELF IF NEED BE????? HIS ENTIRE GROWTH AS A CHARACTER WAS AWAY FROM SELFISHNESS AND FLIGHTINESS. HE BECAME A STEADFAST, BRAVE, DEPENDABLE MAN COMMITTED TO HIS FRIENDS AND HIS LOVE AND THE CAUSE. HOW DID THEY WATCH THOSE FILMS AND SAY “WELL HAN COULD NEVER SETTLE DOWN.”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did they not notice that Luke’s DEFINING characteristic throughout the original trilogy is his loyalty to his loved ones??? His utter refusal to let harm come to them–to give up on them?? His refusal to abandon them???? And then they want us to believe that he… abandoned them?????

So essentially the thing about the new canon is that people who don’t understand Star Wars are suddenly in charge of Star Wars, and they go back and ignore the characterization of three entire films and present us with material that is entirely contradictory of the original trilogy, and then they don’t understand why people have reacted negatively. 

And then of course you get fans screaming about how it’s REALISTIC this way.

When the fuck did you get the idea that Star Wars is supposed to be realistic??????? Star Wars is NOT about realism. It’s a Space Fairytale. An epic saga. It’s not supposed to be Game of Thrones grimdark jam in the tragedy. It was never like that for forty years. It was never presented that way. George Lucas was ADAMANT in making this point. And that’s why it resonated with so many people–that’s why it was such a success. Because it was uplifting. It was inspiring. It touched that part of our hearts where those fairytales live–where it’s possible for our heroes to go up against the forces of evil and WIN and have a happy ending. That’s why they gave Luke and Leia and Han the happy fucking ending!!!!

And the thing with the new canon is that they don’t care. They don’t care about “protecting Star Wars.” They don’t care about what Star Wars stands for. They don’t care about what George Lucas created. They care about money. They don’t want you to be invested in Han and Luke and Leia anymore. They want you to care about Finn and Rey and Poe, and apparently no one at Lucasfilm understood that they didn’t have to destroy the old characters to get people to like the new ones.

And for the record, just because the people delivering this truly appalling “new canon” horrorshow AU are Disney and Lucasfilm does NOT mean that I have to accept it all as true. They don’t understand Star Wars, they don’t care about it, they’re not its original creator, and I don’t have to accept a single thing they say.

That’s the thing about the new canon.

anonymous asked:

My sisters been sending your (amazingly) written metas, but I'm still confused as to what "Performance!Dean" is. Could you explain? ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Hi! Thank you!

Performing!Dean is a tag that many of us use to explain the way that Dean portrays himself to the outside world, suppressing parts of himself that he doesn’t think should be outwardly shown.

It’s a form of SUBLIMATION (a psychological term meaning to repress emotions / a part of oneself), a term which he actually uses in 12x05.

It’s a great example. The writers KNOW that we associate Dean’s love of pie with women / being comfortable / the home and family feeling, and cake with the repressed side of him (it is repeatedly used in this context, Dean really wanting it but never allowing himself to have it or just nibbling at the edges). It’s quite a famously known concept.

So… when Sam asks Dean if he wants pie and Dean says no, which basically never happens, when Sam then looks so DONE and starts talking about how Mary is gone and… (the implication being he is about to mention Cas being gone too)… then Dean says nope nope I am FINE and Sam FINALLY calls Dean out on it, saying “Dean, it’s called SUBLIMATION”.

Originally posted by castielamigos

And Dean finally relents and says “Yeah, its kinda my thing”. (And then later in the diner he is seen to have eaten a whole slice of cake in front of Sam and no-one makes a big deal out of it….)

WE ALL SCREAMED. DEAN ACTUALLY IN THE SCRIPT, OUT LOUD, HAS SAID THAT HE SUBLIMATES.

Because THIS is Dabb again taking what has been IN THE SCRIPT and in the show for 12 years and building on it, making it BLATANT. Because we are building to endgame now, SPN isn’t likely to last past season 13-14, so the character arcs that were set up in season 1 (and 4 for Cas) need to be tied up, so we, the audience NEED it to be made obvious when it has just been in the subtext. THAT IS WHY SO MUCH IS SO BLATANT THIS SEASON. Ie Performing!Dean, Destiel, Sam and the MoL story, Mary being the catalyst for Dean’s self acceptance arc and Sam’s self forgiveness arc around Lucifer (which I think will be much more blatant next season re: Jack as his mirror).

With Performing!Dean it started to be made a bit more obvious since Sam told Dean that he was ‘kind of butch’ and people probably thought he was ‘overcompensating’ in season 2 but it still stayed subtext, Dean checking out a few guys here and there, only really getting with women when he was having his ‘I’m going to go to Hell and need comfort’ or ‘Sam is dead, Cas left’ moments or since he met Cas, whenever Cas had left, making Dean feel crappy and rejected or had just DIED, using it as a coping mechanism, even blatantly role playing in season 9 after he feels so bad about kicking Cas out of the bunker etc to the point that in 12x18 it is so blatant that this is what it is about, they even have Dean saying outloud that he is settling for Sam’s omelette mere seconds after clearly having settled for the waitress because she wasn’t what he really wanted on top of all the other give aways…

Anyway, it’s not just about his sexuality or feelings for Cas, there are many other aspects too, and those are the ones that are cemented in seasons 1-3. Most of these seem all to stem from John and if you see snippets from John’s journal it makes sense.

John says he is proud of Dean when he kills monsters, womanises, drinks etc etc. So guess what a young impressionable Dean learned was the best way to act in life?

Now, over the years bits have come out here and there. Every time we see Dean with a sexual partner he has been the submissive one, he is clearly an extremely giving lover and very caring. He is not a dude bro womaniser at heart, he cares for all the women he sleeps with enough to be kind and gentle with them, even the waitress in 12x18 who really he doesn’t REALLY CARE about, she’s just a coping mechanism, but he is still extremely sweet with her.

He drinks for years of course, he is a functioning alcoholic for most of the show, but lately he has switched to coffee… unless something really bad is going down. Like when we saw the empty bottle in his room in 12x19…

He listens to old rock music because it reminds him of his mom and dad, not because he is a real metal head. Yeah absolutely he loves it too I’m sure, but really it’s the emotional pull. And we haven’t heard him do so since 12x07. Just saying. He also admits to liking Taylor Swift in season 10, after firstly saying HELL NO, same with the cucumber water in 12x07. It’s not the music or the water or whatever as such, that is absolutely NOT what we are saying is making us feel Dean is bisexual or has a hidden side to himself, its the fact that he HIDES it first then admits to it afterwards, that is the essence of Performing!Dean.

When Sam drinks the cucumber water, no-one batted an eyelid, that means nothing to us, because Sam is super comfortable with who he is in THIS respect, even though he carries guilt etc, but that is another subject. But because Dean made a huge deal about how uncool and basically unmanly it was, after all we know of him over the years, THEN went and drank it anyway, saying “shut up” when Sam is like “seriously?!” THAT is where the Performing!Dean meta comes from. And Sam is the same as us, he doesn’t care if Dean is bi, or if he likes Taylor Swift or cucumber water or WHATEVER, what he DOES care about is the fact that Dean feels the need to hide it from him.

There are so many small points along the series that point to a lot of Dean’s persona being fake or exaggerated and how sometimes Sam knows and sometimes he doesn’t, it would be funny if it wasn’t tragic.

Deep down Dean Winchester is a soft, kind and generous soul who just wants to be loved and to help people.

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT WE SAW IN 12x11. THIS IS THE EXPOSITION EPISODE FOR PERFORMING!DEAN AND THE CORE OF THIS WHOLE SEASON BECAUSE THE WHOLE SEASON HAS BEEN ABOUT THIS, WHICH IS WHY 12x22 IS THE CHARACTER LED FINALE, BECAUSE IT IS WHERE THIS FINALLY COMES DOWN.

Originally posted by disneyandthefamilybusiness

So yeah, the fact of the matter is that Performing!Dean has been there all along, since the PILOT, over the years it has been showed to us that it exists then some of the walls have started coming down. If anyone dares to tell me that Performing!Dean isn’t a thing (which I was told earlier this season, lmao) then I will kindly point them towards 12x11 and 12x22.

Also, let us not forget that even though 12x11 was mostly an exposition for Performing!Dean when he lost his memories, again harking back to the HEART is the person, NOT their memories theme of the season, we also were given the golden snippet that DEAN RODE LARRY BEFORE HE GOT WACKED WITH MAGIC. This is to show us that Dean’s walls are coming down this season. When Sam called him up on it in a way that seemed to be taking the piss, Dean, rather than attempt to deny or tell him to shut up actually embraced it and gloated about how GOOD he was at it. ATTA BOY DEAN!

With the resurrection of Mary and Dean’s near - complete death experience it seems that Dean got to the point in season 12 where he just didn’t want to hide from himself anymore and so let these walls down further, there were small snippets of this in nearly EVERY episode. 

12x11 was the exposition for casual viewers to see this side of him more clearly (in the same way that 12x19 was for Dean and Cas’s clearly more than platonic relationship, which will not be built on with HUGE LEGO BRICKS since Cas died), and now with the grenade launcher as a metaphor, Dean literally blew down his walls in 12x22. The culmination of this story was his confrontation with Mary where he explains WHY he always had this facade, because he had a shitty childhood, had to be a parent to Sam and that it wasn’t FAIR and he didn’t cope with it well at all.

So. There we have it. Performing!Dean is REAL, it was there ALL ALONG, we were RIGHT in seeing it because it is confirmed in 12x11 and then addressed and to some extent dismantled in 12x22, and the meta idea that the grenade launcher is associated with Performing!Dean was ALSO used.

Just… wowzers.

Originally posted by itsokaysammy

I don’t expect Dean to suddenly act completely differently now, he won’t, there are just some aspects of him that will be slightly more obvious or he won’t hide certain parts of himself. He still isn’t completely done with this, as Jensen himself said that there will be more of this to come in season 13…

I expect him to perhaps once or twice order a slice of cake or an ice cream sundae, to listen to the radio and not turn it over if a pop song comes on, to be more open with his feelings towards his family (and yeah, Destiel is a part of this for sure), a nice turn around but also not jarring, because it’s just a PART of Dean, not his whole self, a lot of what we see is really fully him, so it’s not that he is going to completely radically change!

Anyway, its all very exciting as the metaphorical death of Performing!Dean is just a part of what most of us see as a positive endgame for TFW and it is all looking pretty good so far :D

Ui and Urie Chasing Shadows

This is one of the best Tokyo Ghoul quotes in weeks, and I think it says everything about the meaning of the goings on in this chapter. Ui knows the truth of the situation, the death that surrounds all of them, but rather than confront it, or live on in blissful ignorance he chooses to worship it instead in hopes it will give him what he wants. It’s quite literally the definition of selling your soul to the devil.  Let’s take a look at that while I explain what I mean, below and the ramifications of this quote: 

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The Madara/Hashirama flashback is so good, not just from the obvious “wow i love them so much and they love each other too” standpoint, but from a storytelling standpoint as well. The amount of information Kishi/SP manages to convey in just that little batch of episodes is really impressive and just perfectly completes Madara’s character, rounds him out wholly, and it’s so, so good to watch (same for Hashi’s character, too).

Anyway I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, how Madara’s whole motivation throughout his ENTIRE arc stems directly from his “I have to save people” thing. this was partly due to his dad, partly because of the way circumstances played out during his childhood and adolescence. He was the designated protector of his four younger siblings, he was the son of the clan leader, he had a lot of responsibility from an early age, he didn’t have time to be a kid. He lost three brothers and spent most of his teenage years/early adulthood desperately clinging to the fourth brother to the point where he cut ties with his best friend and threw himself (however reluctantly) into the war he had abhorred because of his need to protect Izuna.

Madara NEEDS to protect people, he needs to save people or else he has no self worth. the dark side of this is that he needs to have constant control over every aspect of his life. (or, in the worst case, everyone else’s lives.) if a situation escalates beyond his level of influence he shuts down, or he lashes out (as he does when Izuna dies and he takes it out on Hashirama, finally fighting like he means it, not just going through the motions with his sword but seriously projecting his fury into the susanoo and everything). Or he gets cold and defensive and puts up walls and refuses to listen to reason (see: second half of episode 369).

Teenaged Madara (in front of his father, no less): No, Hashirama is stronger than I am, we should retreat.
Adult Madara [to Hashirama, post-tablet reading]: Are you trying to say you could take me down??!

Ok, Madara’s father. from what I can infer, Madara is constantly being told two contradictory things:

  1. You are strong.
  2. You are not strong enough.

Madara recognizes his strength and skill as a warrior but he also punishes himself, personally, for not having the strength and skill necessary to save his brothers. We don’t know anything about Madara’s other siblings and we know nothing about the manner in which they died, just that Madara blames himself for it. The databooks explicitly mention that Tajima treats his sons as living weapons. He carefully honed and crafted Madara’s psyche, probably in order to awaken his sharingan (we see in that confrontation scene that Tajima laughs rather cruelly and with grim satisfaction when Madara actually does awaken it, and it just generally looks as if he’s been waiting on this moment for a long time).

Tajima: well we didn’t gather any intel on the Senju clan, but it seems we’ve gained something valuable from this whole ordeal after all.

Like, Tajima doesn’t care about his son, he cares about using his son to further the Uchiha clan’s battle prowess.

I would honestly say, though, that he is most like his “"true self”“ when he’s around Hashirama, because we see him without his protective gloves, without his armor, smiling and laughing and speaking candidly about his own insecurities and issues. As a teenager he shows off in front of Hashirama because he really likes Hashirama and he wants Hashirama to like him, and Hashirama just finds the whole thing endearing.

Teenaged Madara: Hey, I’m stronger than most of the adults around me!
Teenaged Hashirama: Oh really!! :)

But then they have these moments where they’re not just two children on a riverbank; they remember that in their real lives they’re soldiers, and this whole plan to create an ideal village is so fragile and far away and really only in their heads and at SOME POINT the dream is going to collapse and they’re going to give in and become enemies, because the era of warring states is absolute, unchangeable reality.

And the best part about this is that Hashirama UNDERSTANDS all of this about Madara, he knows exactly what Madara went through because he ALSO had a shitty father and lost his siblings and he RECOGNIZES Madara’s knee-jerk obligation to protect people, he even admits to Madara he can’t picture anybody else in the hokage seat; Madara would be the best possible candidate, he’s pragmatic and he cares very deeply and he’s powerful and clever and he led the Uchiha (they unified and became truly formidable, a force to be reckoned with, under Madara’s leadership) for who knows how many years and he put his whole heart and soul into building the village and now he’ll protect it with everything he’s got. like. Hashi GETS IT.

Even in the present time, when an unspecified amount of decades have passed and Hashirama is telling Sasuke the whole story, Tobirama goes on this rant about the Uchiha, how they’re monsters, they’re cursed with loving too much, and then Hashirama brings everything back into human terms: "Madara cared intensely about his younger brother.”

2

And yet more of the YoungEsteban!AU because you guys left the sweetest comments and tags on the previews post and kept me motivated to actually keep drawing stuff for it! Thank you all so much!!!

 These were mostly drawings I made seperately, but since they were all focused on interractions I decided to post them together. And so I got the chance to talk about character relationships in this AU under the cut:

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Why Ichigo/Orihime is completely unconvincing

There’s just so much wrong with Ichigo and Orihime ending up together, I can’t understand how IchiHime fans are completely fine with how their story played out. 

1- Ichigo never shows feelings for Orihime that are beyond friendship, right until the very end of the manga.

There has never been a moment in the manga that shows on Ichigo’s side that he cares for Orihime as more than a friend. He cares for her, but what’s disappointing to see is that there’s no special place that Orihime holds. She doesn’t have that inseparable emotional bond with him like Rukia does, she’s not the rival that still sacrifices everything to help him like Ishida, she never made a pact with Ichigo to protect him til’ the very end like Chad. 

The fact that Kubo himself never included any insight on Ichigo’s feelings for Orihime is what makes me feel like he never planned it out properly; he has Orihime and Ishida discussing how ‘to Kurosaki, Rukia isn’t just a friend. She’s a very special person to him,’ as well as countless little poems in Ichigo’s perspective ‘I wonder if I can keep up with the speed of the world without you in it’, ‘that’s right, nothing else can change my world’. 

— I’m not saying that Orihime needs to do something extraordinary or sacrifice herself further for Ichigo, she’s a wonderful companion and Ichigo cares for her, but to be the main characters love interest? There’s nothing that allows the readers to see through Ichigo’s eyes and what he sees in her, no moment that makes us go ‘Ah, he really values her, she’s special to him’. Which brings me on to my next point:

2- Rukia and Ichigo’s relationship and emotional bond set the bar too high for Ichigo and Orihime.

What I think is that Kubo really, really loved Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship. He loved their moments of connection, their talks, their sacrifice for each other. He loves Rukia to death as a character, and I think he just felt really good writing and expanding Rukia and Ichigo’s moments and lines. I don’t think he realised how deep he made their bond seem, how inseparable, and when he tried to include the aspect of Orihime’s feelings for Ichigo, it didn’t work too well because it felt so bland and insubstantial compared to this thing Ichigo has for Rukia.

Every single emotional scene for Ichigo, his powers, wanting to protect people, his mother’s death (!!!) has always been with Rukia. He talks to her, which I think is so, so freaking important. She listens, understands, and I cannot get over Memories in the Rain. It was so difficult for Ichigo to explain his mother’s death and Rukia handles it beautifully, makes it a moment he remembers ages later. I think that was the chapter that did it for me - they share such deep, personal moments together that just aren’t there for Ichigo and Orihime.

It’s plain to see that Rukia is literally someone he can’t live without, their bond is so much deeper than friendship or romance - their souls are connected. She understands what’s going through his mind without words, she makes him happy, Orihime says it herself. She chases his fears away, with words. They have their dramatic moments but what I love is that they build each other up through words. Ichigo talks to her when he tries to save her in Soul Society, tells her that he is going to rescue her, no matter what. He sees her afterwards, tells her it’s fine if she wants to stay, she can, he smiles at her, thinks ‘looking at her now, I remember exactly why I wanted to save her so much,’ - not because she gave him his powers, or because he owed her, but because he just wants to see her happy. 

I could go on and on about Rukia’s importance in Ichigo’s life, but the bottom line is that Rukia is and will always be the focal point in Ichigo’s life. It’s always Rukia. Orihime notices it herself, it brings her to tears because she can’t replace Rukia, she doesn’t know how to give strength to Ichigo.

It’s just such a strange, sad dynamic to have Orihime so infatuated with Ichigo, only for him to have such a deep, emotional bond with someone else. It’s unfair and terribly cruel to her. Kubo should have either limited the interactions between Ichigo and Rukia or included more emotional ones with Orihime and Ichigo.

3 - Orihime is not close to Ichigo at all.

By that I mean that she knows so little about him. Their interactions beyond fighting and saving are so minimal and emotionally disconnected that it’s impossible to see these two actually have a conversation about something. The things that Orihime knows about Ichigo are always second hand (Ichigo’s mother’s death from Tatsuki, him getting his Shinigami powers from Rukia, his desire to get his powers back from the Fullbringers. She’s never at the forefront of anything when Ichigo needs help. 

4 - Orihime admires/idolises Ichigo too much to get close to him.

She sees him as her protector, someone strong and brave and I guess that’s why she likes him? It’s never really clear. Why is she so in love with this grumpy orange-haired highschool kid that she’s willing to give her life away to help him?She says she wants to heal all his pain, but she doesn’t know what pains him in the first place?

They’re not close at the beginning, Ichigo refers to her as Tatsuki’s best friend, and Orihime is always seen to have funny fantasies and dreams about him. Later on, their interactions are very stilted and awkward. She bumbles and flushes around him, which is fine, there’s nothing wrong with that, and Ichigo kind of just…ignores it? To me, they don’t fit well at all, at least now how Kubo shows the sides to their characters.

Orihime is so bright and caring, why can’t she really talk to Ichigo about his worries outside of battle? Why do their interactions have to be comic relief (her dress, which was extremely awkward)? Does Ichigo even know anything about her beyond her family situation? Does he even bother to talk to her about something casual? 

Ichigo is not always strong, he can’t always play the protector for her. The Hueco Mundo arc was a great example - she screamed out for his help, he had to rise to help her. Earlier on, when the Arrancars invaded, he couldn’t protect his friends and he had to apologise to her for failing to protect her. It just screams power imbalance - she couldn’t protect him either, when her powers are more suited to it. Why didn’t she apologise, too?

Maybe it was supposed to be romantic, it didn’t work for me. It’s just funny how the stark comparison to Rukia and Ichigo, where she gives him strength and hope through her words, where he’s comfortable showing her his weakness with the hollow mask is so much more natural. 

5 - She feels jealous of Rukia’s relationship with Ichigo.

Not just her breakdown, but panels that Kubo drew which show her watching Ichigo looking down at Rukia while she’s healing, emotion so clearly in his eyes, and turning away. It’s just — why make her jealous of Rukia if Rukia and Ichigo are supposed to be just friendship? It complicates everything and it makes the readers think ‘Oh, Rukia and Ichigo must have something going on if Orihime is jealous of her. Ichigo must really care about Rukia.’ 

6 - Ichigo is not good for Orihime.

The fact that her insecurities are never cleared makes me laugh. She ends up marrying this dude who still sees Rukia on the daily - she’s still facing those feelings of jealousy. Rukia is so clearly his kindred soul, if he wants to marry someone else and have them sit through watching their husband share such a deep connection with another person, then that’s absolute shitty of Kubo.

He makes her feel “inadequate”, literally, because she can never compare to Rukia. It’s just. Why. So cruel to her, there’s literally nothing she can do about it. He’s always pushing her to the back, never facing her full on like a normal person. It’s always over his shoulder ‘Stay here, Inoue’ and I just— ugh. She’s so wonderful. Beautiful, happy. She deserves someone who will laugh at her jokes, taste her funny food (come on, Kubo. You could have had like a two-page spread where she feeds Ichigo something weird and they have a laugh over it, something natural), makes her clothes (ahh, Ishida.)

I’m not here to promote Ishida/Orihime, but she’s so natural around him. He thinks about her, considers her feelings. She protects him with her shield, fights beside him as an equal, not ‘Inoue, you’re on defence. I’m counting on you.’ 

7 - There’s no development for Orihime.

I don’t know what she got out of Bleach, tbh. She went in infatuated with this image of Ichigo in her head, came out in the same position. She’s endured painful feelings of jealousy, helplessness, meeting other people. She made bonds with people, like Ishida, or Ulquiorra, who could have developed her character in some way. Made her think that hey, I’m worth someone directing all their attention and feelings towards me, too. I’m worth being thought about, considered. Ichigo literally does not have the time of day to notice her feelings for him, her jealousy. He’s oblivious or preoccupied and unforgiving about it. 

She’s forced to wear some seriously provocative clothing by Urahara, in which she is clearly uncomfortable, just to get his attention. He doesn’t even say anything to her. Chad has to say, ‘Yo, Ichigo. What do you think of Inoue’s clothes?’. It’s so freaking embarrassing and awkward for her that I really want her to leave Ichigo behind. He’s not worth it.

I know that Bleach is a Shounen manga, but seriously. Kubo tried to incorporate some romance when he really didn’t have the right idea of how to go about it and ended up butchering Orihime’s character, Ichigo and Orihime’s pretty solid friendship, and left the reader feeling baited with Rukia/Ichigo. In his head, friendships are sacrifice, you changed my world, for her I’ll go through a thousand blades, that’s the man you are in my heart, show them that despair can’t stop you while romantic love is Orihime pouring her heart out to the guy that still doesn’t know how to pronounce her first name.

Whatever floats your boat, shippers. 

idareu2bme  asked:

Can we talk more about nurturing Todd and touch-starved Dirk? It seems there is much to be said.

You are asking a lot. Or rather two separate things that I suspect will dovetail neatly together. Unfortunately that means this answer is going to be long. Fortunately I can wax lyrical on both.

Let’s start with Todd.

We know a few things about Todd. We know Todd was kind of a self-absorbed asshole for a significant portion of his life. We know that he has a tendency to lie, cheat and steal. We know that Todd spent a significant portion of his life putting himself and his own interests ahead of everyone else’s. We know that all of this changed the second Amanda got sick. We know that he carries a tremendous amount of guilt for the things he’s done. We know he is mired in self-loathing.

We also know that he is the first person to help when no one else ever has. We know that he prioritizes Amanda above even his own safety.

Now I suspect some people would assume this is Todd’s version of atonement. I don’t think that’s the case.

Now, don’t get me wrong. People can change. People change all the time. Life and experience shapes and molds us, and we in turn adapt accordingly. But a person’s core personality is still their core personality. You don’t start an ESFJ only to become an ISTJ*.

So I suspect Todd’s caregiver tendencies have always been there. This isn’t counterintuitive. People who are drawn to care for others are more than capable of hurting others, just as a nurturing personality type does not always preclude selfishness.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

All the turtles tend to get written as 1 dimensional characters in fics and I LOATHE it They get whittled down to the most basic qualities of themselves Leo - either he's annoying and bossy or literally Jesus Don - smart weak nerd Mikey - UwU precious baby can do no wrong Raph - he anger It pisses me off. The turtles are so much more than that. And it's for literally every turtle incarnation ;-;

SAME MOOD

here are another fun traits y’all tend to forget but it’s too long so i’ll put it under a cut (2k3 biased):

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How do you think Ran's character? I like her because she's an unpredictable character, for example when she's help someone who almost kill her, knowing Conan identity during desperate revival arc without confront Shinichi and wait for him to say it with his lips. Hiding in Jodie's car luggage just to make sure why Jodie has a Shinichi photo. I think this time Ran already know Conan identity, but she is not ready to accept the fact that Conan and Shinichi are the same person ..

I’m going to answer both of these together because they’re both about Ran, and honestly, I’d have copy/pasted one response into the other ask.
Second Anon: I will also fully admit it took a lot of effort not to use some unkind words about how you’ve described Ran, because they sound like a description from someone looking at her who was already prone to disliking her character.

She’s a versatile character who’s able to fill a lot of roles without entirely compromising who she is. Pretty much everything is backed up by what we know about her life and there are very few exceptions to how consistent she’s written. (But I’ll be forever salty at that one case where she put full belief into a fortune as to how she needed to act and live.)

She has depth because she needs to cry sometimes. She probably needs to cry more often than she does, but she puts on a brave face so people don’t get concerned about her. This is a girl whose parents separated when she was six, and whose father was an alcoholic with a gambling problem who didn’t have a steady source of income, and who cared about her useless dad to stay with him instead of going with her mom, because he couldn’t take care of himself. She had to be the backbone of the household from an early age (though maybe not entirely on her own when she was six, I’m sure it took a while for Kogoro to entirely fall apart and rely on her). She has a ton of problems, but rather than sulk or tell people about them, she bottles them up because she doesn’t want to be a burden or seem like she needs anything. She doesn’t cry nearly as much as she needs to and could, only when things get to be too much.

She’s not violent, because if you want violent, you need to look at Sera. Seriously, no, she rarely uses her karate on people, and the times she does it is necessary, outside of the early sections of the manga where it was used purely for comedy to scare the heck out of whoever a kick was aimed at. I don’t know where the idea of being described as violent could even come from.

She’s also not purely Shinichi’s love interest. Again, if you’d like a character more fitting the description of purely being a love interest, see someone like Naeko or Kazuha. People we only know their personality and life purely based on their feelings towards their other half. Ran might not have a lot of character development going on, but that’s because she’s already pretty well developed as a character. She’s the constant of the story, the emotional center that can support everyone else in their personal character growth. You need a constant in the story, or else everything becomes to busy a muddled. Which is could be fine for a more action oriented show, but for something like Conan, you need that constancy to be there. Could she be used or shown off more often? Sure. But she doesn’t need to be. Nor does she need to prove herself as a character.

And more aimed solely on the second anon…

As for the entirety of what was mentioned about London: …Did you read the chapter? At all? Or at least before typing any of that out and sending an ask? Because she didn’t ‘blow up’ out of nowhere, there was an entire section with her also trying to solve the riddle and thinking it’d be easier for Shinichi. And her thinking she made him angry because she’d gotten annoyed with him and was thinking that maybe she’d been making him upset because she got to go to London and he didn’t. She was worried that maybe she was calling him too early in Japan because it was daytime in London. She actually took that into consideration. She was genuinely concerned that she’d made him mad by unintentionally gloating, so yeah, when she sees him randomly in London himself, she realizes all of her worrying and contentiousness was for nothing. He was there the whole time and hadn’t told her. She was told that ‘love is zero’, and was maybe starting to believe it, with how little Shinichi seemed to care about her feelings. It made her feel like she was an idiot for caring, and she was overwhelmed by her bottled up feelings.

1) They didn’t know it would be a bomb. They only knew that some random person had told Apollo that there would be a lot of killing that everyone could see. The police didn’t even think the threat was real and that it was a hoax. It wasn’t being treated with the utmost concern at the time.

2) When you’re feeling anxiety or a lot of emotions in general, logic isn’t even a passing thought. Or it it is, it feeds anxiety. ‘Oh no, this is the worst time for this to happen, not here and now.’ Your emotions demand all of your attention right then and there, so don’t act like the maybe threat at the time was something that should have come to mind at the time.

3) I don’t see why you’d get mad at Ran for briefly talking and running off upset when there’s a threat to people, yet not get angry at Shinichi at all for responding to her emotions and running after her when he should be far more case focused than she is. ‘But he was being the good person and not letting her cry on her own’ - if that’d be your response, I’d love to see how you view anyone else who has an emotional breakdown. That you’d blame everything them for being overwhelmed ‘when there are more important matters to attend to’.

She has plenty of depth, if one cares to look. But if you only want to view her as a one dimensional character, I can’t magically make you see how good of a character she is. This has probably sounded very accusatory and attacking, and I’m slightly apologetic since that was purely because of my own emotions at reading the ask, but the way everything was phrased sounded like the type that has already formed an opinion and won’t be swayed from it, purely based on how you viewed Ran actions and described them.

Undertaker and the real Ciel’s motivation

In the light of recent events, we’ve finally got to see the real Ciel himself. How is he supposed to stand in Ciel’s manor while he’s supposed to have died? It’s very unlikely for him to survive that day, especially after he was gutted alive by the cult and perhaps having his soul devoured by Sebastian.

In that case, the only logical answer would be he is now a Bizarre Doll. Undertaker is the only person known for his ability to bring back the dead. Some people think it might actually be Vincent or Claudia in real!Ciel’s body but I really doubt it because:

  • Undertaker claims it’s impossible to put a different soul in another body.
  • Why would they want to pretend to be Ciel’s dead twin?
  • Knowing how much he treasures his family, Vincent wouldn’t want to hurt his own son.
  • Claudia died young and never knew her grandchildren.

There is probably more, but those are the top reasons I can think of. But why would Undertaker want to revive a vengeful twin that would potentially destroy everything our!Ciel has built with his false identity? There is nothing for him to gain from it, plus he obviously cares about Ciel (in his own messed up way) and openly opposes Sebastian.

Then something strike me, could UT’s goal actually be the opposite? He’s trying to make our!Ciel give up on revenge by touching upon his sensitive past, essentially messing up the contract. However, there is the problem where Sebastian will try to devour Ciel again should he do that. I think that’s where UT will step in; he’s much stronger, knowledgable and confident in his abilities. And judging from their last confrontation in Public School arc, that likely won’t be the last time. He let Sebastian be knowing the butler will take care of his master for a while and won’t lay his hand on him until the contract is fulfilled. Using that bought time, he’s preparing himself to free Ciel from the demon’s grasps.

Putting that aside, there is very little known about the twin. Therefore I would like to make some speculations beyond his apparent nature. And since Undertaker is the only reason he’s back, he’s technically now UT’s creation and masterpiece and he might have tampered with his personality for convenience sake and to prevent him from going too far. So regardless of how the twin really was before the incident, he might not be the person one would expect now.

I, for one, do not think real!Ciel is as malicious as he seems. Sure, he’s twisted and seems more evil than our!Ciel, but it’s hard to tell if he holds nothing but grudge against his twin. First off, he hurt the ones close to him, and he was successful in it by mentally scarring Soma (although he’s now up for revenge too) and killing Agni who’s almost supernatural in strength. He probably did this either out of pure spite and/or UT wanted to show off how much his Bizarre Dolls have advanced. Later at his proper introduction, he talked to our!Ciel in a rather overprotective brotherly way. While unhappy for having his ‘candy’ stolen, he seems to be relieved(?) to be reunited with his younger twin. For now, I interpret his character to be evil and manipulative, but cares about his family in a twisted way to the point he would remove those he considers outsiders x)

That reminds me, that ‘dream’ in Green Witch arc where real!Ciel affectionately told him that “nobody asked him for revenge” and asked why his beloved brother wants revenge in the first place might be a foreshadowing. The fact this even came up in our!Ciel’s subconscious shows that deep down, he actually has doubts about what he’s trying to accomplish.

tldr; Undertaker wants to save our!Ciel by bringing back his dead older brother. By bringing back a piece of the past he’s trying to forget, namely a family he used to care about, our!Ciel might start to doubt his quest for revenge.

Tagging @midnight-in-town because you might be interested in my once-in-the-blue-moon-essay lol.

anonymous asked:

I hate the fact the kaneki just forgot about the q's and stopped caring about them even after spending years with them as a parental figure.

I don’t think he stopped caring about them. He cares about them a whole lot, even breaking his hold on contact to beg Urie his least favorite Q to save Mutsuki, and having Furuta spy on them. 

TLDR this is how Kaneki’s caring for most people ends up manifesting though.

If you don’t mind it being too long, the rest is under the cut.

Keep reading

Lonely Place of Living arc Review.

My oh my it’s been over a year since “Tim Drake” been missing from the scene in Detective Comics Rebirth, and now he’s finally back.

And I gotta say … the longer it’s been the less I cared.

A lot Tim fans I imagine where hyped when they heard the Boy Wonder was coming back to Detective Comics, and so was I for a while.

Then I just realized how much I don’t really like Tynion’s writing.

I don’t have an opinion about the guy James Tynion IV, I don’t know him. I just know his writing, and I don’t like it.

Every now and again I see posts against Tim and they all say the same things against him … and I gotta say after reading this arc all the bad things people say about Tim are present.

I wouldn’t be too shocked if the people who say those things only read New 52 and Rebirth Tim because that Tim is SUPER boring.

He’s a Mary Sue with an ego problem.

I mean I’m a fan of the Pre- New 52 Tim not the New 52 and Rebirth Tim. He had a lot more personality.

This guy … he’s just soooooo boring. I don’t really have a lot to connect myself to when it comes to him.

They draw him overly handsome, they make him overly good at everything, and they act like he’s overly amazing.

I feel like Tynion’s goal was to make him a lot of people’s new favorite character but it probably just makes them hate him even more.

He practically writes the Anti-Tim stereotype.


So with this arc I wasn’t getting the return of Tim.

I was getting the return of the boring, generic white boy with too much talent to be realistic Tim.

I can’t say I was very excited for it.


I didn’t even read any of it till today.


and it reached below my already low expectations.

The plot was convoluted, the characters where bland, and I don’t feel like I was given a reason to even care about what was going on because besides the occasional “Oh yeah Tim that was sad what happened to him” no one seemed to give any care that Tim was gone to begin with in the actual comic universe.


So the plot … what the hell is the plot.

Some SPOILERS BELOW

So Mr. Oz …(who I’m not gonna spoil who he is, in case someone doesn’t know) decided to kidnap Tim for some reason I’m still not sure of, I guess reconnecting things, but he hardly reconnected with anyone.

and in this arc Tim breaks out.

With his amazing Gary Sue like abilities.

and eventually with the help of


SPOILERS


Tim of tomorrow! For … some reason … not sure why he’s there really. Maybe Mr. Oz realized how much of a jerk he was gonna be and kidnapped two versions of Tim. That’s about what I got out of it from reading a panel, but the guy talks in poems so it’s hard to tell.

and this is were the plot gets convoluted and confusing.

So my explanation as for why it’s confusing, might be a bit confusing in it’s own right.

So Tim of Tomorrow first showed up as an alternate future (or at least I assumed so) for Pre-New 52 Tim. Where he uses a gun and kills people with the Titans of Tomorrow.

So that’s brought back here.

But they can’t seem to make up their mind on rather or not this Tim is the Pre-New 52 Tim, or at least a lot like him or not, and they don’t fully explain on the time travel/dimension hop thing.

So if what I got out of Mr. Oz’s poems is right. Then Tim of Tomorrow is this Tim’s future.

Except it’s not, and they make that clear.

But oh wait it’s not that clear.

So what the hell is going on with this.

They brought back Pre-New 52 Tim’s origin.

But apparently not his whole timeline since he doesn’t know who Conner is.

So why did only his original origin come back? What’s changed and what hasn’t?

Tim of Tomorrow acts like Rebirth Tim is still him. He even proves it with the scar thing. So how the hell can you change the past but not effect the future, and why did only a part of Tim’s old history come back?

I DON’T THINK THEY EXPLAIN WHAT CHANGED HIS HISTORY FULLY.

THEY DON’T EVEN ACT LIKE IT’S CHANGED AGAIN.

So anyways Tim of Tomorrow somehow takes Rebirth Tim back to Gotham.

and Tim has cardiac arrest.

but it’s okay he’s still somehow fine the next time we see him for this hug.

I’d just like to state that within New 52 and Rebirth continuity. These guys have only had two interactions. SO WHY SHOULD THEY CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT EACH OTHER TO BEGIN WITH!

So they don’t spend to much time on the forced emotion. They go into exposition.

So Tim of Tomorrow wants to kill Batwoman for some reason I’m not sure if they actually said, yet.

And the Bat “family” goes up against Tim of Tomorrow

and the idea that they needed a whole entire “Family” to go up against Tim of Tomorrow just kind of means that Tynion’s Tim just grows up to become a bigger Gary Sue.

and as of now I still don’t think they filled in the convoluted time travel/dimension hop thing yet.

He’s Tim’s future, yet not. They show they’re in the same timeline, yet they aren’t. I don’t fully get it.

Oh and Tim of Tomorrow actually manages to beat all the Robin’s and Batman somehow in a fight.

and then a bunch of stuff happens that I can’t even fully tell what the hell it is.

Tim and Tim of Tomorrow get into a train and fight.

and then the Bat “Family” gets into fighter jets to try and attack Tim of Tomorrow with.

??? WHY DO THEY HAVE FIGHTER JETS ???

and they have some generic sass with each other to try and seem like they actually spend enough time together on panel to have a relationship like a family.

and then they end it on some vague moment to try and seem emotional, and it’s just really confusing.

SO NONE OF MY QUESTION GOT ANSWERED DURING THIS.

They don’t fully explain how the hell Tim of Tomorrow can be a thing.

They don’t fully explain what Tim’s current history is.

They don’t fully explain why some things changed for Tim but some things didn’t.

and they didn’t give me a reason to care about any of this.


I really like Tim. I have a freaking blog dedicated to him, and since the New 52 he’s been a completely different character. Then all of a sudden with Rebirth it felt like they were gonna make him the way he was before, but they just made it worse.

He’s more of a Mary Sue then before, he’s more bland then before, the relationships are more forced then before, and the story telling is just so convoluted and confusing.

It just seems like they took Tim, and then took away his personality and for some reason made him try to look hot.

It’s like they took out his brain, gave it to a model, and then took away all of his personality, NOT TO MUCH DORKINESS, NO LONGER A FAN BOY, LET’S REPLACE HIS LOW SELF ESTEEM WITH HIGH SELF ESTEEM, AND LET’S ONLY GIVE A VAGUE MENTION TO HOW HE DOESN’T THINK HE’S AS GOOD AS THE OTHER BATFAM MEMBERS!

and then still continued to act like it’s Tim, but it’s not really Tim. You can change the recipe to something and say its the same thing cause it has the same name and you’re technically right … but to the fans that have actually been their for a while, it’s not right. It’s not even right at all to some.


I mean New 52 Tim in canon was an actually different person. It would’ve been so easy for Mr. Oz to go out and say “YOU AREN’T EVEN REALLY TIM DRAKE. YOU ARE BUT A PAWN IN MY GAME (something something dramatic) YOU ARE JUST SOMEONE I MADE THINK WAS TIM DRAKE) blah blah blah. I mean HIS NAME WASN’T EVEN REALLY TIM DRAKE IN THE NEW 52 EVEN IN UNIVERSE THEY JUST CHANGED IT TO THAT. 

They could’ve just showed the Pre New 52 Tim hanging on the wall and have Mr. Oz say “THIS IS THE REAL TIM DRAKE. THE ONE THEY ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT.”

and that would’ve at least made a little bit more sense.

Instead we’re stuck with this.

The plot isn’t explained, and I was hardly given a reason to care.

They should’ve released this a month or two after he got captured. Not a whole freaking year.

It was not worth the wait. It was not worth the hype.

It’s just superficial drama and action to make it seem like something special, but it’s not. It’s just another arc targeted at a loyal fan base hoping they’d bite into something that finally seems like something they wanted.

Tynion says he’s a big Tim Drake fan, and I’m not gonna debate on rather or not he is, but he seemed to try to make this special. He probably gave it his all, and I can’t be mad at the guy for wanting to give his favorite character a big arc in his honor.

But it just did not live up to what people actually wanted involved with it.

We got back Tim’s old origin, but the way we got it wasn’t even explained.

It’s just fan service.

Crappy fan service on top of currently un-explained plot holes.

Hell, maybe they’ll explain the plot holes, but if they wanted to make this arc good they should’ve done it in the arc. Instead of just giving some generic action to make it feel extra cool and special.

I don’t even know what to remember from this story.

Tim gets his old origin back, although it’s not really explained how, Tim of Tomorrow came back, although it’s not really explained how, and Tim come back to Gotham, although it’s not fully explained why they cared about him enough to kidnapped to begin with really.

I’m just really disappointed.

This took a year to get out, and I was disappointed before I read it, but it somehow still got below my expectations.

The state of the Batverse is in shambles, and people call this one of the best books Rebirth has to offer, and that’s just sad to me.

The Batverse used to be so cool with interesting characters, relationships, and history.

Now it just seems like they got to fake all that to get by.

If you want to read this arc go ahead, but I can’t say I recommend it.

Top of the Flops - Cursed (2005)

A brief introduction: I watch a lot of movies, and specifically, I watch a lot of terrible movies. On purpose. Perhaps it was growing up on Adam Sandler movies that did it, but I am naturally drawn to the mistakes of cinema. Making friends that are equally as obsessed with the annals of acrid cinema helped encourage my plight, as did the great podcast, How did this Get Made? I’ve learned to embrace my love of the hot garbage, yet all my terrible film watching tended to just fall into a well deep inside my brain where it’d remain, only to occasionally crawl back out and force me to admit: “Oh shit, I think i’ve seen that”. And so, with this feature, I will attempt to look these movies dead in the eye and say “…..alright then”. These films won’t necessarily be the traditional flop, but they will exist in one of three categories (or hopefully, all three): Financial Flop, Critical Flop, or Flop inside my own Heart. And we start with a movie that swipes at those three categories with a badly animated paw and succeeds at being all of them.

Budget: $38m

Gross: $29.6m

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 16%

When you think about something being cursed, sure, you might think of someone bitten by a Hollywood Werewolf. Or, you might think of a film that is produced by Bob and Harvey Weinstein, the unsurpassed ineffectual tinkerers of Hollywood Movies. Cursed has a lot of curses, but it is hard to find one more damning than that of the Weinstein curse, which put this movie through years of production hell while they desperately attempted to lower the rating and stuff it full of stars so that people would actually go and see it. They failed wildly. Pandering is the bread and butter of Horror Cinema of the mid-2000s (let us not forget that Paris Hilton starred in the House of Wax remake that year) and boy does this film come off as a parent trying to access your love by accessing your CD collection (shit, ‘CD collection’? Sorry, this film has put me into 2005 mode, when I actually owned CDs by some of the bands in this soundtrack).

How pander-ific does it get? The film opens with a Bowling for Soup concert. Y’know, the guys who sang Girl all the Bad Guys Want? Yeah, them. Whether or not they were a voice of a generation, this film skews pretty young, and in case you were worried that they’re just aiming for the kids who ride skateboards, worry no more: the singer Mya is at the concert. Yes, the singer Mya. And the strangest thing is, the singer Mya doesn’t sing at all. Which is what, if anything, she was known for. It is entirely possible she showed up to the production, Wes Craven didn’t recognise her and instead cast her as “girl who flirts and therefore gets violently killed”. And later, the trifecta of “WHY ARE THEY THERE” musicians is complete when Lance Bass has a wordless cameo. Oh Bass, you truly were the Alfred Hitchcock of cameos! (Alfred Hitchcock was also the Alfred Hitchcock of cameos, as well as the Alfred Hitchcock of Alfred Hitchcocks). 

Aside from Christina Ricci and Jesse Eisenberg leading the cast, (who no teen on earth cared about in 2005), the film’s attempt to celebrit-ise the cast list is, erm…weird? There’s Shannon Elizabeth (who was 5 years past being popular), Joshua Jackson (who was 10 years past being popular) and Scott Baio (who was literally never popular). As Bart once pointed out: “What’s a Chachi?”. And, if it had been released ten years later, the film could’ve had something on their hands with this cameo…

It’s odd that the film should be such a cynical Hollywood cheap-fest because writer Kevin Williamson (scribe of classics like Scream and…not classics like I Know What You Did Last Summer) is quite the meta lover, and is excitedly peppers the script with lots of digs at Hollywood. They’re not good digs: Jesse Eisenberg suggests that as the werewolf is from Hollywood, it might have breast implants, an image that’s so stupid, yet so viscerally disgusting, that I wish Eisenberg had never opened his bastard mouth to say it. Williamson is not much of a satirist outside of Scream, but you get the feeling he thinks he is. “I’m gonna make fun of dumb old Hollywood whilst making a film that is the most clear cut example of dumb old Hollywood. Haha! Take that, me!”.

The film has promise in its names: Wes Craven behind the camera and Rick Baker on makeup, but in reducing the film’s certificate, The Weinstein’s rid the movie of almost any of that great Baker body horror makeup, and any of that Craven intelligence. I can’t blame it all on them: the scariest thing about it is how horrifically directed it is: it looks like a TV Movie, and I genuinely would not surprised if Craven was napping through 80% of filming. And it’s an odd decision to rely so heavily on cheap looking CGI when Baker is around - it’s like they said “Great, we’ve got Rick Baker on board! Now, lets lock him in that cupboard over there for two years”. Because this film literally took over two years to make. A film taking a long time, a film having reshoots, and a film having rewrites, are three signs your film is in trouble. Cursed has all three of those. I mean, did it really sound promising when Men in Black 3′s rewrites were going so badly that they got Will Smith on board to help out? It damn well didn’t, and we ended up with a film with lines like “I will pimp-slap the shiznit out of you”. In 2012. 

You can tell Cursed was filmed over gigantic periods of time, which would explain why nobody in the film appears to give a shit about anything that’s happening. Ricci, Eisenberg and Jackson seem so entirely bored and quite honestly, sleepy, that it’s baffling that Wes didn’t say ‘Hey can we try that once more but this time not shitty?’. Not that he cared too much - how do you direct a film from someone’s else’s script for nearly THREE years and still care? How do you maintain a solid and consistent directing style over three years? The answer is: you don’t. 

I can not blame the bad performances. The script is so dire and laughable that caring about it requires energy which could be better spent on things such as making some lunch or clearing out your junk mail folders. I mean, what could Ricci possibly see in her character Ellie? She’s a talk show producer which never plays into her story, and after she and her brother are attacked by an LA Werewolf, what exciting changes in her occur? What emotional developments does she have to grapple with? Well for a starter, she wears a new shirt to work. It’s the most nondescript shirt imaginable, and yet it causes her co-worker to tell her she looks “Saucy”. Did I mention that this movie has no idea how people talk or act? She does so little else, except sniff the odd bit of blood, and worry that her brooding boyfriend, Joshua Jackson, isn’t happy with her. His story isn’t much better, the crux of his arc in the first half is “He loves to fuck so much, but can he learn to cut back on all the fucking?”. Oh, and he has a club to open, which is a bizarre Madame Tussauds of horror movie mannequins, but also Cher and Xena, and also a house of mirrors, and also a DJ. And Lance Bass attends the opening. It feels like the weirdest and laziest shoehorn of “Hey here’s some horror movie imagery so we can tie our movie to much better horror movies!”, and the twist is so predictable that I wrote in my notes “If Joshua Jackson doesn’t turn out to be a werewolf I will eat my own hands.”. 

         IF ONLY there was some framing to give me a hint! Darn it!

Meanwhile, Jesse Eisenberg plays Jimmy, who knows he is turning into a werewolf because he went on “internet search” and typed in the words “Werewolf L.A”. He doesn’t seem very bothered, though. As soon as they get home from their initial attack (during which Shannon Elizabeth is in a fiery car wreck and then dragged off to her death), he says, with casual indifference “Well. G’night”. After he saw a woman killed. And after they were attacked by a gigantic wolf. Nobody seems to care about anything that is happening, but why should they? Jimmy’s werewolf transformation is only marginally more exciting than Ellie’s, because he gets the Spiderman 3 style hair makeover (although this is spiky rather than floppy) and he can now suplex his bully. 

Ellie’s transformation means she can catch a fly in her bare hand, y’know, just as werewolves are always doing. The film seems to forget that they’re actually supposed to be werewolves because they never actually turn into werewolves, and it never seems to affect their lives too badly. The traditional impetus for werewolves’ story arc is that they want to stop becoming a werewolves because they don’t want to kill people. That isn’t even hinted at with either Ellie or Jimmy - they never even try to kill anyone, they never fully transform, and the most dangerous Ellie gets is when she yells “Don’t start with me!” at a producer who doesn’t want Scott Baio to be bumped for Carrot Top. Seriously. A moment that is supposed to showcase Ellie’s newfound animal fury involves a conversation about Carrot Top and Scott Baio. For most of the film she doesn’t really believe she’s a werewolf, which gives us a contender for worst line of 2005: “Everybody’s cursed. It’s called life”. Her story is thoroughly underwritten, meanwhile you wish Jimmy’s story was not written at all.

Because he’s Jesse Eisenberg, he gets bullied by someone who throws homophobic slurs at him even though, as Jimmy repeatedly reminds us, he’s not gay. Poor straight kid! That must be tough, being straight! Some of these insults include “Your dog is gay too!”, and “You ass wimp wad”. But it’s okay, because it turns out the bully is gay! And not only that, but he turns up on Jimmy’s front porch and tries to kiss him, which leads to another of the worst/best lines of the film: “i’m not gay….i’m a werewolf”. The nonchalant way he just reveals that information is ridiculous, and is another demonstration of the way that nobody seems to care very much about anything in this movie. The film doesn’t seem to care very much about its set pieces either, one of which happens moments after the porch scene. The family dog for no apparent reason is a werewolf now, too! A vague, fuzzily CGI’d ball of brown that throws itself through windows!

                                   “Ahh!! It’s an….onion bhaji?”

Meanwhile, Joshua Jackson’s secret kind of just falls out, as if Kevin Williamson was like “Oh RIGHT, there has to be an antagonist”. Joshua Jackson is a werewolf after all, and this draws the action towards the opening of his club, where Jimmy’s bully joins them for some reason, and proceeds to get knocked out instantly, a state in which he remains for the entire duration of the scene. 

  “My dying wish is that I one day star in a superhero show that is beloved for      one season and then the most hated thing on TV for the second season”

The great TV writer John Swartzwelder was known for using “for some reason” in his scripts, which worked beautifully for a solid, absurd joke. But Cursed is a supposed horror film that takes “for some reason” and bases its entire third act on it. Why are they all here at this club? Why is Judy Greer turning into a werewolf now? And why, by any stretch of the imagination, did the writers think that, after having her looks insulted, it’d be a good idea to have the Greerwolf do this:

Yes, Judy Greer is the last-minute big bad wolf, but to what end? Where was all the build up to that? What is her motivation? And how much longer if there left of this film? She gives an expository dump about how much she hates women and thus wants to eat her, and it carries about as much weight as the fly that Ellie caught earlier (callbacks!). The big fight between Greerwolf and Jimmy & Ellie feels totally unearned, and they don’t even use any of their Werewolf abilities. I mean, sure, it’s a fun sight seeing Jesse Eisenberg charging at Greerwolf with a sword and shouting “yyAAAH YAAAAAAAH”, but the scene ends without Ellie and Jimmy doing anything impressive at all, and instead a bunch of cops just shooting her to death. It’s not very clever or satisfying. At least she got to crack a few lines before her time was up, including “Showtime. Isn’t that what they say?”. Uhh…yeah I guess? Good one? The film cannot seem to make up its mind on what any of the characters think or want, and so Joshua Jackson goes from good, to bad, to good and back to bad again, and not for one second does the disinterest on his face let up.

      “I’m a fuckin wolf and uh, i’m gonna eat you now I guess. Or not. Wes!?”

The final set piece, which limps along after what feels like a 20 minute film (which is actually 100 minutes) occurs after 3 acts which involve zero emotional development, and zero cool werewolf moments. Surely now is the time for our protagonist, Ellie, to have both? Nah! Instead she slowly sort-of turns into a werewolf, by getting lumpy skin and big teeth. She never fully transforms (“It happens slowly at first” says Jackson, meaning “we don’t have the budget for a full transformation”) and doesn’t even get to overpower Joshua Jackson, which would’ve at least given her some agency and closure. That task is left to Jimmy who crawls around on the ceiling for a bit, (another classic werewolf attribute??) before eventually stopping Jackson with a shovel and a….cake serving knife. A cake serving knife that you see a lot of in the film, because apparently cake serving knives are really cool props to have as a sort of Chekhov’s Cake Server?

            “Teenagers LOVE cake servers, right” - Kevin Williamson

Jimmy saves Ellie with the help of the cake server, and once Jackson is down, Ellie at the very least she gets to smash Jackson’s head off, and his body burns. Kitchen RUINED. She doesn’t even seem upset that she’s had to smash her supposed love’s head clean off his body. And mere moments after this, Jimmy’s crush comes to the door having found their were-dog, and conveniently knowing that a) it’s his dog and b) where he lives. They have a kiss and walk off, with his bully in attendance because apparently he doesn’t have a family of his own. They all got over that evening pretty fast. After tearing a werewolf’s head off and having your sister nearly killed, would you not want to hang out for a bit longer? Just have a bit of a night in? Instead, it’s a casual “Well that’s done then, bye!”. And there’s his arc. He’s made a friend, got a girlfriend, and saved his sister. And what was Ellie’s arc? She wears a new shirt, has her life nearly ended several times, has her house ruined, and then, as Jimmy fucks off with his mates, she closes the film with the line “I’m just gonna stay here and clean”. Seriously. That’s her resolution. That’s how she ends the film. Bloodied, miserable, alone, and cleaning up the gore in her kitchen. I can’t wait for Cursed 2 to see if she managed to successfully hoover up all that werewolf fur!! 

It’s a real failure of a film in every regard. It does lean towards trying to be fun rather than trying to be scary, but couldn’t it have tried to be even a bit spooky? Could the jump scares have not been so endless and predictable. I mean, ten points for anyone who can guess where the jump scare is coming from in this scene:

Yes, a cuckoo clock is about as scary as it gets. I could tolerate the lack of care put into the story and the characters if the action and horror were there, but they really aren’t. There is nothing tense, well crafted or smart in the film. It’s baffling to think this is the guy who made Scream and A Nightmare on Elm Street, because this doesn’t just feel like it was directed by someone having an off day, it feels like it was directed by someone whose only experience is directing episodes of MTV’s Cribs. It doesn’t attempt to subvert, improve or even just successfully repeat the werewolf formula, instead it just throws random iconography from those movies at you with Dashboard Confessional songs playing loudly enough to distract you from this terrible film with an even more terrible soundtrack. Terrible, and yet I did have fun with it. It actually benefits from being flimsy and light as air, and as dreadful as it gets, I did appreciate it not taking itself too seriously. There are enough unintentionally funny and simply bizarre moments to make it an enjoyable watch, and it’s not the most hatable of films. It could almost have had a charm, if it wasn’t really, really, extremely bad. 

Worth a hate watch?: Yes

Worst/best line: “I’m not gay….i’m a werewolf”

Worst film of 2005?: Son of the Mask, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Doom, XXX 2, The Pacifier and Bewitched all came out in 2005, so no. Cursed might be a bad film from a bad year, but it is not the worst. Rob Schneider knows very well which film is the worst of 2005. 

SnK Chapter 92 Poll

I’ll be closing the chapter 92 poll tonight so this is your last chance if you’d like to chime in. 

Take a Poll

I’ve received 406 responses thus far and 103 people have left comments. I especially appreciated this one

Did this very distractedly, watchin that Netflix show about OJ Simpson at the same time

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2x19 peoples crap complaint's about the Parabatai bond

Okay so we had some crazy drama in tonight episode and while  I can’t post much today I am hoping to in the next week. Unfortunately I have to start with a less than happy rant, because reading a bunch of the new posts has soured my opinion on what was good in the show.

First off people are mad that Alec does not spend the whole episode sobbing over his and Magnus’s fight, and are saying things like “this just mean that he is sobbing on the inside, it is clearly all he is thinking about”. We see focus and leadership from Alec in this episode, do not take that away from him, we have books where his entire arc is Magnus and being gay, let him be a leader here. Any time I go into Parabatai, Jalec (I don’t care about Jemma parabatai posts), or Jace and Alec tag I see people saying that they wanted to see Jace crying over malec’s fight and threatening Magnus into getting back with Alec. The fact that he does neither of these proves that he does not care about being their for Alec, and is a terrible Parabatai. Where to start on all of the things wrong with this? how about this: “Jace is not a fangirl; he is Alec’s best friend.” Stop thinking about your ships and think about y'alls best friends. If they told you they broke up with their boyfriend/girlfriend would you make a huge freaking deal about it, complete with threats? would THEY be happy if you did? Secondly saying Alec never goes to Jace and Jace never shows any signs of trying to be their for Alec is not true. Whenever Alec has been scared about Valentine/Jonathan, the war, and calls he makes as head of the institute he turns to Jace, who clasps him on the back and says things like “You know what to do, just be confident” “It’s okay, we’ve got this” “It’s going to be okay, I have an idea”. This is comforting. He has not talked to Alec about Magnus, but has Alec talked to Jace about it? I know, I know Jace can sense Alec’s feeling and knows something is wrong, that is not why I am asking.  I kept thinking this little fact about Jalec’s dynamic all last week; and Alec even said it last night “when you are ready to talk about something, you will tell me” . That has been their rule since season 1: We will talk about a problem you have WHEN you feel like bringing it up with me, until then I will respectfully let it lie.

Second thing. When Jace and Clary are awkward around each other and Jace thanks Alec for respectfully letting it lie, and Alec is all “tell me when you are ready" some fans have changed it to "your straight so I could not care less about what is going on with you.I only care about my own love life.” I am so tired of posts that call Jace coming to Alec with something hard as “nonsense”, or saying that Alec would love to get rid of Jace, even giving him back to Valentine because it would mean more time to fuck Magnus. It does not painting Alec in too great a moral light.  More than that Jace and Alec do not have a straight vs Gay battle in their relationship, so do not bring it to them. I understand that a significant part of the fandom is LGBTPA and may have a LGBTPA vs straight battle going on with society. And I think the show understands this too; that that is why they made some of the comedic scenes for you: “deadly mummy destroying things sure is hot”, “I met Kaelie at bookclub. YOU read????”. These secens are straight nonsense, can only be described as silly straight nonsense. But it is so rare nowadays to find a show where characters are even portrayed as having friends, much less friendships that are important to them and the story. Please do not devalue it. Do y'all really need things that are underrepresented in the media warring with EACH OTHER to be acknowledged?

And Add on because I found complaints about Alec now. “Why is Alec still able to walk about after Jonathan punctured Jace’s lung? He felt a slash to the hand, but not that? He should be on the ground in agony too”. Okay this one is easy to explain. First Jace did not die, so it is not like their bond broke or anything that serious. Second the aspects purpose isn’t to literally make one feel and react to every bit of pain the same way as the other does. That would do no good, only harm.  Think of it more as an automatic SOS signal. They feel just enough of the others pain to know that they are in trouble and need them. Never so much as to incapacitate them and render them unable to provide help.

cbr.com
Gotham's Butch & Tabitha Tease Will They/Won't They, and Barbara's Role
Drew Powell and Jessica Lucas explore their Gotham relationship, Tabitha's role as a proto-Catwoman, and Butch's lack of a Funko figure.

Not since the Joker and Harley Quinn has Gotham City seen a not-quite couple so villainous and yet so ‘ship-worthy as Butch Gilzean and Tabitha Galavan. But can these two crazy, murderous kids ever find true love together?

With “Gotham’s” final Season 3 arc underway, questions linger as to whether two of the pre-Batman-set series’ original creations — the loyal-to-a-fault mob henchman, and the whip-cracking Catwoman prototype — share a bond deep enough to qualify as love. Actors Drew Powell and Jessica Lucas recently joined the press for a peek at the Butch/Tabby almost-romance, and whether it actually might have a future,

On what’s ahead for them and where their loyalties lie:

Drew Powell: Whoever he’s with is probably going to win. That’s been the case of late, until they don’t. I think the back half of this season is all about Butch and Tabitha. For Butch, it’s about Tabitha. He’s head over heels in love with this girl, for better or for worse, and he’s trying to convince her that Barbara’s no good for her, Barbara doesn’t care about her, and that Barbara doesn’t deserve her loyalty. So it’ll be this evolution of him trying to explain that to her. Hopefully for her sake, she figures it out before it’s too late.

Jessica Lucas: She’s still furious at Nygma for cutting off her hand. As the alliance between Nygma and Barbara grows, I think it makes her more and more furious as time goes on. You’re going to see her really pushed, and really, really upset, and that’s going to keep growing and growing, and the tension between her and Barbara is going to keep growing and growing, and eventually will have to play out in some way, come to a head in some way.

On whether the fractures in their Barbara Kean relationship will prompt either Butch or Tabitha to make their own play for the top spot:

Lucas: I don’t think so. Not right now. She wasn’t raised that way. Coming from the Galavan family, she’s used to loyalty. She’s the protector, right? She’s a bodyguard of sorts. So I don’t think she has as much desire for power as a lot of the other villains do – which is interesting, because most of them are vying for the throne, but she doesn’t really care about that. She’s too reverent to care about that.

She’s smart enough to know that alliances are important. You don’t want to piss off the wrong people. She’s a bit more of a snake in the grass that way… I think we could both teach Barbara some things. Barbara’s a little bit too self-involved at the moment to be too concerned about helping anyone else. I think by the end of the season, Tabitha will be in a really vulnerable place. So she’s needing to start again. That’s sort of where that alliance comes from, or how it starts to form.

Powell: Here’s the thing: Butch had a moment at top in Season 2, and he didn’t like it. The whole point of Butch is, he’s a survivor. He grew up in Gotham, he knows the nooks and crannies, he knows all the buttons to push, he knows the dark corners, and he knows enough to know that if you’re on top, there’s a much greater chance that you’re going to get knocked down.

I think that’s one of the cool things about he and Tabitha and their bond, is that she’s kind of the same way. She always works better as an off-sider, as a second in command, because she can kind of work in the shadows and creep. So that connection between the two of them I thought was really neat, and great job on the writers’ part. So what I hope to see moving forward is to find out that backstory. Who is Butch really? Who is this guy? Where does he come from? What’s his story? He’s got this random nephew, Sonny. What’s he really about? I’m hopeful that’ll be the case going forward.

On the actual depth of Tabitha’s feelings for Butch:

Lucas: I don’t know that she knows what real love or intimacy really is… But loyalty is so important to her, so for Barbara to turn on her any way, or to be disloyal — that’s where her affection lies, so if that doesn’t exist, there is none. For Butch, I think that she has a lot of affection. He’s like a puppy dog. It’s an unrequited kind of love. I think she’s cares about him more than she lets on.

As Fish Mooney returns yet again, will she pose a challenge for Butch’s ties to Tabitha:

Powell: When she came back the first time – other than when he ran away when the ghost Fish showed up – there’s really no interaction between the two of them. [Now], there’s a scene that we shot that we’re all in. I feel like there’s this closure that’s needed. So we try to address that a little bit when she comes back this time. I think the fans will appreciate it. I would have liked to really get into that. But yeah, there’s this particular scene that I think people will dig.

On the joys of building characters without comic book backstories and fan expectations:

Powell: I took Bruno Heller at his word when he said early on, he’s like, “Look, this Butch character’s going to take time, and he’s going to grow, and people are going to underestimate him until it’s too late. There’s going to be a life here, you’re just going to have to trust me.”

It’s been fun because I’ve kind of known, particularly at the beginning, I knew what was coming, but fans didn’t. So they’re like, ‘This henchman…” Then to see them slowly — I see these Tweets, they’re like, “I don’t know if it’s weird, but I’m really starting to like Butch.” “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Butch it one of my favorite characters.” It’s like each one of those was like a fist bump for me, like, “Yes!”

I think Butch would be a great fit for the comics. I think he would be a great addition to any parts of the canon, because he’s written from that. There is this element of him. How is there not a Butch doll? He’s got the hand, he’s got the scar, he’s got the suits, he’s got the gun. How is there not a freaking Funko with a bazooka? I don’t get it. I do not get it! They’re missing the boat. Hopefully it’ll come.

Lucas: I very much modeled her after Catwoman, honestly, because I was told that she was the precursor to Catwoman and that there was going to be a mentorship there. So I wanted to take elements of that character, especially physically, so that when you looked at her, you thought, “Huh, kind of reminds me of Catwoman.”

But then everything else, as far as developing Tabitha Galavan, I just took things as they came. I’m really, really open to whatever the writers want to write and bring to it. I don’t feel as much of a responsibility as I think some of the other actors do to get these things right, these elements right from the comics. I don’t really have that feeling.

anonymous asked:

whats your ideal kenny/kota booking??

Hoo boy. Guys. Someone actually asked me this. This is not a self-submit anon. A person actually wanted to know my opinion on this. I kinda can’t believe it. Anon, you’d better be ready to read, reblog, and love this three-volume tome, ok?

I’m splitting this into two parts, since I know everyone cares deeply. 

Part one (this post): all the shit that we need to take into consideration before answering this question (shut up I think this is interesting and it’s my blog)

Part two: Things I think could/should happen.

OKAY HERE WE GO. Some real, original Golden Lovers scholarship from yours truly. I apologize in advance to people reading this on mobile!

Part I: The Whole Fuckin’ Golden Lovers Situation RN:

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