This is your first birthday in many years without the Nu’est members by your side. Being the only member to make it into Wanna One and the guilt that followed, not knowing the fate of your group and the pain of separation from your best friends/ family- Our Minhyun has been through A LOT of pain this year. But he’ s a very strong person and I know he can overcome it.
To the one who is so considerate, looks after everyone around him, can compose, act, dance, has a voice from heaven, works to achieve perfection until he physically cannot give any more, is gentle, beauty beyond this world and has a heart of gold, Happy 22nd Birthday!
I hope he can have all the happiness in the world today he truly deserves it
*He loves your body and has no problem staring at it. He knows you
know he’s looking. Sometimes, he does it on purpose to make you
blush. He loves everything about you, honestly. Minseok cannot get
“So, are you going to twirl for me? Please?? I have a great
dinner, a great girlfriend, now I need a great show. You told me
you’d spoil me tonight..”
*He loves your body but unlike Minseok, he doesn’t want you to
know, even if he makes it so obvious. He’d stare but when you look
at him, he quickly looks away.*
“No, I wasn’t staring, whhaatt??”
*Always hugging you because he loves you and your body so much.
He’s always showing you how much he appreciates you when he returns
from work because you deserve it.*
“I haven’t seen you in so long. Let me cook for you, no
wait, let me give you a massage, no, let me run you a bath…”
“He loves the h*ck out of your curvy body and is always teasing
you. Not in a mean way of course. Harmless, ridiculous voices and
looks only for you.*
“Daaammnnn girl, you got a boyfriend?? Darn right you do, its
me, this lucky boy.”
*Shows you he loves everything about you in any way he can.*
“Hey babe, babe look. No you have to look, not nod your head
to tell me you’re listening. Look at me darling~”
*Just as cheesy as Jongdae is but extra. It’s everywhere with
you. In public when you’re at a table and he’s ordering. He’d
get your attention from the counter and so something to make you
laugh in embarrassment.*
Someone: “Hey, um. Is that guy your boyfriend? Him, over
there, holding up the heart fingers…”
*When you were
standing in front of the mirror, looking over your body, he’d give
you a look. When you asked him if you were fat, he’d burst out
laughing before looking at your face. It slowly became serious when
he realized that that was a real question. Can’t decipher why on
earth you would ask that because he thought you were perfect.*
“Oh..Oh! You were being serious? In that case, I will be
serious too. No, you’re not fat. You’re perfect. I love it and
*He asked you to be his girlfriend for a reason. He loves your
body no matter how many changes it makes or how many flaws you see
because all he sees is perfection. Besides, he isn’t focused on
your body, he’s too busy fangirling over you being his girlfriend
“Yes, darling! You toss that bag in the garbage can! A bottle
fell out but that’s okay, you did perfect! That’s my baby.”
*Absolutely loves it when you asked what he thought about your body
because he uses that opportunity to make you blush. He loves your body
and there should be no reason for you to hate it.*
“No sweetie, your body is perfect the way it is. As long as I can still hug and cuddle with it, you’re still beautiful.”
Oh holy f*ck, I haven’t been on in months. I ain’t even got shit to say because I am also disappointed in myself. Why are you guys still here? It’s been so long I expected my followers count to go down.
Would you?? actually?? write an essay on how Akutagawa is a good character despite not being a good person?? bc that kind of analysis is my shit my pal
Yeah, sure. There are people who can express themselves better than I can… and I’m not really sure sometimes if what I say makes sense but if you’re willing to plow through I’ll keep it as short as I can.
First of all, what is Akutagawa’s role in the story? In earlier chapters he is established as the main antagonist, and later on he serves as a foil to Atsushi. In the mafia he is a cog in the wheel; a powerful pawn, but one that is not indispensable. Akutagawa gives the impression of being irrational and cannot be reasoned with, blind to everything but his own emotions at the moment. He seeks power not because he has any ambitions for himself, but to prove that his existence has meaning.
What is it that drives Akutagawa so? He’s had a rough childhood, sure, but so do most of the people in the series (screams of “they are all ORPHANS” surround the room aaaaaghhhh). In my mind, there’s always something unhinged about him, something I also feel the same with when it comes to Dazai. Both of them were shaped by their circumstances but Dazai was tougher mentally, and had begun to get bored of the world. He also had the opportunity to be taken in by Mori, and although I’m sure this is where people would disagree with me, I consider this a luxury compared to Akutagawa who fought his way to survive in this dog eat dog world. But in any case, their two paths do cross, and the timing in which Dazai appears in Akutagawa’s life cannot be any more perfect: he was ready to die to avenge his friends, but anything that will give him a reason to live he will cling to, no matter how hellish the path will be. (Cue rl Akutagawa’s ‘Life is more hellish than hell itself.’ quote)
And again, this is where I point out how disturbing Akutagawa’s way of thinking already is. He has a sister, but prior to his first encounter with Dazai he went after those responsible for his friends’ death without any regards for her safety and survival. There is probably familial bond… but love? He has never known it, has never tasted it, and even when someone shows it he’d probably subconsciously reject it. He has no attachments to anyone which is why it is all the more painful when he decides to devote himself in gaining Dazai’s approval. What’s even sadder is that Dazai knows it. I’m thoroughly convinced that Dazai saw through him at once, that there was no point in coddling him or treating him like fragile china. Akutagawa would detest that. This is in contrast to Atsushi who gains strength in positive reinforcement and support. I guess in a modern setting, it’s the classic “work harder since boss says I’m doing great” vs “work harder bec screw you Ryan I’m getting my promotion” kind of mindset.
This, to me, is an intriguing aspect of Akutagawa. Because he scoffs at Atsushi for being stuck in the past, but he himself cannot help but return back to Dazai, desiring to obtain acknowledgement of his powers. To the point that he was willing to go on fighting Hawthorne despite not being in optimal condition. And, if you’ve read LN4, he even decided to walk in hellfire even as his [spoiler alert] eyeballs were melting. That’s frightening singlemindedness and willpower right there. But it’s sad. Very sad. He suffers from tunnel vision, and doesn’t see that he’s stuck in the same place he started, except now there is Dazai, peering at him from above and dangling a spider web, tempting him to climb up.
And believe me, not a day passes by that he doesn’t try.
So when he sees Atsushi, it makes no sense that everything is handed to this dude in a silver platter. He is loved, he is protected…and even with his horrifying childhood in the orphanage, surely it’s not as if Akutagawa himself didn’t suffer, living every day as if it was his last. What nightmare is that environment, that at such an early age he has been made numb to the act of killing and to the idea of being killed? He was never given the chance to be a child. Dazai, who had beaten him and told him he would be thrown away like a worthless dog if he acts up, took in this kid who does nothing but complain and whine how incapable he is. This kid, who is favored by fortune and has managed to escape through life and death situations not only because of his OP powers (Atsushi’s basically wolverine, ok?) but also because he had comrades who cared for him. This kid, who has an indescribable power he cannot control, while Akutagawa had to work his ass for years just to keep Rashomon manageable. (To further hammer it in, watch the first ED again, where Akutagawa drowns and a bloody[?] tear escapes from his eye. He doesn’t have any clothing on. What’s his ability again? Yeah, without that he is garbage and to be discarded, is what seems to be the implication. Let’s not even get started with that scene in LN2.) Isn’t it mad? It’s as if the world gave him the biggest middle finger and there was nothing he could do but suck it up. Of course, Akutagawa has Higuchi and the Black Lizard, but the mafia being the mafia, their camaraderie isn’t as obvious as it in ADA. Add to his lone wolf personality, we can say for certain that Akutagawa thinks he is ALWAYS, always fighting alone.
As a character Akutagawa is seemingly stagnant, and as I pointed out, has no end goals of his own. Currently, he only follows the orders given to him by the top brass. It is something I wish Asagiri would work on, but given the current state of events in the Cannibalism arc, I suppose it cannot be helped that he won’t be spotlighted. As for being a good character, I think he is one, because he’s neither the run of the mill chaotic evil villain nor the sympathetic antagonist. He’s just…. Akutagawa. I didn’t write passages of his past to make people think he deserves a hug; rather, I want people to understand that Akutagawa, in his own twisted way, was saving himself from desolation. Isn’t it contradictory, you ask? Sure, but as I pointed out, he has his moments of being a hypocrite, scoffing at Atsushi but ignoring the fact that he is blind when it comes to how Dazai has changed, all the while chasing after the illusion of that godlike being he first met.
But if Atsushi is the story of shedding away your past and facing the future head on, Akutagawa’s can be interpreted in two ways: 1.) Swallowing the same past and using it as fuel to do something about the situation even when the forces are against you (spite makes people do things they think they thought they would never be able to do!); and 2.) As a cautionary tale to all those who choose to isolate themselves and forget that there may be people who are behind them and want to help during bad times.
As for Akutagawa himself, I’m looking forward to any development his character would undergo.
Tsubaki is my favorite character design-wise in every fe game i’ve played hands down. Wait, what…he’s a male pegasus knight? HE DEFIES THE LAWS OF NATURE? bruh BRUH PLEASE YOU CANNOT BE ANY MORE PERFECT