he can come out of the closet every day

Sick Day

This is for @rowanismybae who is super sick and I can’t take care of her from so far away so this is the best I can do. Hope you feel better soon Milly!

Rowaelin - super fluff

Of course. The day of the ball - the huge party for Lysandra’s birthday that Aelin has been planning for months - of course she had to wake up sick. Rowan had told her. He had tried warning her that the stress of the planning and the countless hours of making invitations would lead to her body breaking down. Aelin had just been hoping it would happen after the celebration.

She knew it the moment she woke up, before she had even opened her eyes. Her throat stuck when she tried to swallow, and her chest tightened every time she took a breath. Queen Aelin is sick, but there is no way she is letting her King know. Today is not the day for ‘I told you so’s.

So, Aelin cracks open her tired and most likely bloodshot eyes, squinting against the harsh light coming in from the window. She stifles a groan as she sits up, her limbs feeling heavy. Standing on wobbly legs, Aelin attempts to walk towards the closet. Perhaps if she can get dressed and out of their chambers before Rowan wake up, he won’t find out about her dreadful state. Through sheer willpower and stubbornness, Aelin is sure she can make it through the day.

Sniffling the whole way, Aelin makes it to her closet, picking an outfit that will not cinch her already tight chest, or hinder her stumbling legs. Looking down at herself, Aelin sighs. It’s not the most queenly thing she could be wearing, but it’ll do until she needs to get ready for the party.

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Filling in the Holes: The potential queerness of Stanley Yelnats (and Zero.) 

A long post with many Holes spoilers ahead. 

Lately, I’ve been reading the book Holes with some of my students. This of course means I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and one thought that has wiggled into my mind and refused to leave is this idea of “what is Stanely and Zero are queer?” Or, if nothing else, function as a metaphor for queer kids and their first relationships? (note: I am using queer here as an umbrella term for anything non cis-heteronormative. This could imply them as gay, bi, pan, ace with a same-gender attraction, trans, or any other number of queer identities) Also note: I am only using the book Holes for this reading, not the movie, author’s comments, or follow up works. 

Holes is a book built around the idea of inference. Much of the underlying meaning of the book is in the subtext, inferences, not directly stated. The finale chapter even tells the read that we have to “fill in the holes” ourselves to answer any lingering questions. Well, get your shovels ready my friends! We have a hole to fill. 

There are three levels of this queer reading that, together, make the case for me. There is the textual relationship of Stanley and Zero, their place within the parallels to other sets of characters, and finally the Hole metaphor itself. Bear with me to then end. 

1. Stanely and Zero within the text. 

The central relationship of Holes is the fire-forged bond between Stanley Yelnats and Hector Zeroni, known as Zero. They become friends, look out for each other, save each other’s lives. Stanley teaches Zero how to read, risks his life to save his, even carries him up a mountain, and eventually brings Zero home with him. 

Within Holes, neither Stanley or Zero are ever mentioned having an interest in girls. In fact, the only mention of girlfriends, is from X-ray, suggesting that Stanley is writing to a girlfriend so the others won’t bother him about writing to his mom. Their strongest bond is to each other. 

Now, textually, all of this reads as pure platonic friendship (albeit a very strong one.) This may have even been the intention of the author while writing it. But there are some very…interesting moments that can be seen as framing this friendship as something even deeper. Notably, while on Big Thumb, Stanley watches Zero sleep for hours. At one point, he is mesmerized by the way a flower petal dances across Zero’s face as he breathes. There’s nearly two paragraphs of Stanley just watching that flower petal and being disappointed when it finally falls on the ground. That’s some friendship you got there, Stanley. 

But this, in itself, is more fanfic fodder than queer reading. However, there is more. 

2. The Kate and Sam parallel. 

There are two sets of characters that Stanley and Zero clearly parallel in the books, with two curses that must be broken that accompany them. (Both of these pairs are male-female pairs as well)

The first and most obvious is Elya and Madame Zeroni, Stanley and Zero’s respective ancestors. Elya was cursed when he failed to carry Madame Zeroni up a mountain and let her drink from the water there. Stanley breaks this family curse by carrying Zero up Big Thumb and saving his life with the water that is there. 

The SECOND parallel is far more interesting, and that is with Kate and Sam. Kate and Sam are the whirlwind tragic romance of the book. The white school teacher and the black illiterate onion picker who fall in love. The Green Lake is cursed when Sam is killed by the town and thus, Sam and Kate are ripped apart. 

There are clear parallels with Sam and Zero. Both black, both illiterate, both incredibly smart (Sam is a brilliant salesman and can memorize poetry just by hearing it once, while Zero is a math genius.) 

Now, SAM is run out of town after his relationship with Kate is discovered. He flees across the lake and is killed, thus cursing the Lake for a hundred years. Not a drop of rain falls on the lake and it shrivels up. 

ZERO is run out of town after his relationship with Stanley comes to light. The other boys know that Stanley has been teaching Zero to read and Zero has been digging his Holes. Like the sheriff sits back and allows Sam to be killed, the counselors at the Camp sit back and let Zero run out across the lake to die. 

Except, he does not die. While Kate could not save Sam, STANLEY can save Zero. He takes off after him, and eventually works to get Zero to go home with him. Once Stanley and Zero are taken home together, it begins to rain on the lake. The curse is lifted. 

The lake is cursed because Sam and Kate were ripped apart. The curse on the lake is lifted when Stanley and Zero are allowed to stay together. Romantic parallels, yes? 

But we have one more point to cover.

3. The holes-closetmetaphor. 

Here is what I propose: digging the holes themselves is a metaphor for staying in the closet.

Being in the closet, I should start by saying, is not a state of being. It is a process. It is a constant effort, censoring yourself, watching yourself, walking on eggshells. Digging the holes within the book functions as a metaphor for this.

Every single day, Stanley and Zero dig holes. It is hard work, tiring work, dangerous in its own right. On top of that, they are constantly monitored, like those in the closet always feel eyes on them to stay hidden. The grueling, dangerous work of digging is like the dangerous work of staying in the closet. Every day, they dig the same hole, the same depth, the same with, trying to stay within the same, acceptable mold. And why do it? Because the alternative- coming out, or leaving the camp, is seen as both isolating and even MORE dangerous.

But eventually, Zero DOES leave. Tired of digging, he risks the desert. 

And Stanley follows him. Like a queer kid following their first partner out of the closet, Stanley risks the desert for Zero. It nearly kills them both, like coming out can be deadly for some. 

But you know what happens? Because of that risk, they both eventually end up FREE and TOGETHER by relying on each other and the strength of their relationship. 

So what does all this mean?

It will be easy for many to look at this analysis and simply write it off, to attack it, that I’m trying too hard, to say terrible and homophobic things about it. And I expect that. I’m not saying that this reading was intentional by the author, but I am saying that it exists regardless. 

Between the actual depth of relationship between Stanley and Zero, their clear parallel to Sam and Kate, and the poignancy of the holes-closet metaphor, I think it is WELL within reason for us to view their story as a queer story if we want to. And I do.

So two years ago Jordan claimed to have slept with 600 women..but now that number has risen to 1500 women? Meaning he has slept with 900 women in two years..meaning he has slept with 1.2 women every single day of his life for the last two years? Yeah not buying it. I have a feeling he might be exaggerating to overcompensate for his lack of masculinity or maybe his penis size, perhaps also to keep his homoerotic feelings closeted and at bay. You can see them come out with the way he looks at Sam and the way he strokes his hair at night and also the way he talks about him in the Diary Room with stars in his eyes. You ain’t fooling nobody sis.

Something Like Love

Title: Something Like Love
Pairing: Teen!Dean x Teen!Reader (Set in Dean’s senior year; both are eighteen years old
Summary: Love can be found in the strangest of places- Even the janitor’s closet. Sequel to Something Like Home.
Imagine fooling around with Teen!Dean at school.

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How Long Is Forever? (Nate Maloley)

Can you write one with Nate where you guys are married but really young and then you get into a fight and he suggests that they should get divorced and Idk u can pick the ending, ps thank you 😊 -Anon

I knew getting married at 19 was going to be hard. And I knew it would be hard being with a man who was constantly surrounded by groupies that were skinnier, and prettier, and more bold and daring than me. I knew finding time to be together when he was building a career in music and I was building one in art and photography would be hard. But the difficulty I imagined wasn’t even close. I never thought being with Nate would be so hard. Ever since he got off tour, all we seem to do is fight. It’s  non-stop tension and not the good kind. We don’t even sleep in the same room anymore.

“It was nothing, babe.”

“Oh, really? Then why did you both come out of that room looking so fucking pleased with yourselves?” I yelled angrily.

“Why don’t you trust me, huh? I told you it was nothing, why can’t you believe me?”

“Because she’s been hanging around you more than what’s okay and you have more whiskey running through you than blood! And excuse me, but if I were to even sit next to another man you’d be jealous like that!”

“Fine, whatever. Let’s say I did sleep with that girl. What are you gonna do? Leave me?” he said it almost as if he was teasing me.

“What happened? What happened to the promise we made? Did you even mean those vows?”

“Here we go again. They’re vows! Everyone says them! You have to!”

“No, you don’t have to. You choose to, because you love someone and you want to be with the for the rest of your life.”

“Well, right now I don’t even want to be in this room with you!”

“You know what? Fine, I’ll leave. Don’t bother coming back until you’re sober.” I turn to head out of the door.

“How about I just not bother coming back ever?”

“What?” I turn back around, whispering.

“That’s right, I want a divorce. This shit just ain’t for me anymore.” He takes another swig of whatever’s in the bottle in his hands. We’d got into some really nasty fights, but we never even got close to mentioning divorce. He must be serious.

Tears immediately fill my eyes but I refuse to let him see them. As much as we fought, I still loved him just as much as on our wedding day. I didn’t think 4 words could hurt so much. But, I guess if 3 words could make you the happiest in the world it made sense that 4 could tear you right back down.

“That’d fine with me,” I gritted through my teeth. I rushed out of the door of the supply closet and slammed it behind me.

It took everything I had in me to not sob in the cab on the way home. By the time  got home, I was so tired all I could do was put on some pajamas (which took forever to find because normally I wore Nate’s shirts). Wearing his stuff just didn’t feel right when in a short period of time we wouldn’t even be together anymore. I got in bed and cried until my eyes were so sore all I could do was sleep.

The next morning, it hurt even more than it did the night before but I refused to lay around in bed all day. I grabbed some boxes, which were from when we moved in a few months ago, and packed his stuff from the bathroom we shared and a few other items he just had laying around. I started packing some of his clothes, but then I started crying and I didn’t want him seeing tear stains on his stuff.

So I put myself together, got on some makeup (because there was no way I’d let tears ruin my fucking perfect cat eye), and headed down to the city courthouse. It took a minute, but I managed to get all the necessary papers, and they gave me a list of lawyers they recommend, but I won’t need one unless Nate’s got one. I ran a couple more errands while I was out, but they felt weird because Nate wasn’t there, and I no longer had to consider him (like getting his favorite cereal while I was at the store).

When I got back home, the fresh air and having something to do had helped a little. It still felt fresh and raw, and it would for a while, but I was alive and functioning, so I couldn’t ask for more. I felt like I was moving to fast in this whole ‘divorce acceptance’ process, but I’d been through it before with my parents, and things just usually didn’t affect me as much as they did other people.

I finished packing most of his clothes. Lastly, I organized our living room, which was what the front door led into. I set all of his boxes there and left his set of the papers on the table.

When I woke up the next morning, it was to the sound of his key in the door. I took my time getting up, then walked into the kitchen and made myself some tea. I sat down at one of the bar seats and looked at him through the opening to the living room.

“Most of your stuff is there. All that’s still in the closet is that dresser of your older stuff. And i didn’t know when you’d be free so you can call the number on the top to schedule a hearing, or whatever they said comes next.”

He just stared at me in disbelief. “Wh-what is this?”

“…your stuff. Thought we just went over this,” I said, getting up to grab a granola bar. “Judging by the fact that you didn’t come back last night I’m assuming you already have somewhere to stay?”

“What do you mean somewhere to stay? This is my home,” he said, frustration in his voice.

“Yeah, until we settle what we’re going to do with it.”

“What do you mean settle? And did you say hearing? Like, as in, in court?”

“Yes, sweetheart, that’s what happens in divorces.”

“Is this about that goddamn comment I made the other night? Baby, I said I’m sorry, did you even read my texts?”

My phone had been off since a few hours before the fight. “You can’t just say I’m sorry, Nate. Its not just a goddamn comment. You wanted to end our marriage.”

“Baby, you know I didn’t mean it. I was drunk as hell, you know that.”

“Ever heard the phrase ‘drunk words are sober thoughts’?”

“What? No! That’s not true at all. The last thing I want to do is end our marriage.”

“Well, it’s kind of late for that. I already filed. As soon as you step back out of that door, we’re separated.”

“Well then I’m not leaving! This marriage is not over and never will be!” he exclaimed, taking a seat on the couch.

I rolled my eyes. On the inside I kind of wanted to cry, but I needed to show a strong front.

“Y/N, I barely even remember saying it. And if I knew this was how you were gonna react I wouldn’t have said it. I regret it so much.”

“How else was I supposed to react? Was I supposed to completely ignore the fact that you just wanted to make our vows null and void? Was I supposed to just ignore that you basically said that they didn’t even mean anything anyways?” I was raising my voice but I didn’t care, he needed to know how big of a deal this was.

“No, but,” he sighs, “Can we just put my stuff back, and throw away the divorce papers and talk about it?” He gets up and comes to me, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “And then, maybe if we can’t work it out, even though we will, then we’ll revisit that option.”

“No, Nate, we’ve tried to work it out already, remember? And then every time we end up back in the same spot 3 days later. And there’s still the problem of that groupie you’re fucking.”

“What?” he jumps back, as if in surprise.

“Don’t act dumb. That one that came out of the supply closet looking real pleased right before I came in.”

“Honey, I found her in there crying because she thought Sammy was into her, but he was out with someone else. She came out happy because I told her the same thing Sammy told me earlier: He really did like her, he was just scared to get her involved with his busy life. I also told her about us, and how even though, we fought, we’d be together.”

I could see it in his res, it was all truth. “Okay, but you still asked for a divorce.”

“I try so hard to mean everything that I say, but I definitely did not mean that. Don’t I get a take back?”

I just glared at him. “That’s not how marriage works.”

“That’s how it should work. It should also include you having to wear my shirts to bed every night. What are these?” he says, picking at my shorts and camisole with an plaid unbuttoned flannel (mine, not his).

“These are my pajamas. Your shirts are in your boxes.”

“Well take them out! And put one on while you’re at it. And then we can go back to bed, and I’ll hold you while we talk and then we can have makeup sex,” he says, pecking my neck. I giggle, he knows my neck is super ticklish, that little shit.

When he gets no response he lifts me up and takes me there himself, and even though I could, I don’t stop him. and once we get there, we actually do talk. About those damn fights, and about him not going out as much, and me trusting him more because he loves me with is all and I love him right back. And true to his word, as soon as it’s all sorted, he pounces on me and kisses me hungrily, as if its been forever, which is what it felt like.

And for the first time in weeks I actually feel like we’ll last forever, just like we promised.

A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you liked it! All I have left after this are song and list prompts, which there are a lot of, but REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN just in case you want something, just know it might be a minute.

To the requester: I hope this is what you wanted! You said I could make the ending and I’m not really a fan of making unhappy endings. But yah, sorry it took so long!

anonymous asked:

i wanna see jamsey snap and torture yan for dressing like a "slut" him cutting up yans genitals and carving slurs and terrible insults. leaving the poor smol to bleed out in his closet only for jamsey to take his body to the chest freezer. jamsey takes out his body every once in a while to have his fun~

“If I were to dress up like a slut it’d be for his eyes only! I… he can cut me up though-but not too bad! I want to be with him alive for the rest of our lives!…. Just how pervy is my Senpai…”

//goodness. I am an innocent bean when it comes to that kinda hardcore stuff. Maybe one day waaaaaaaaaay down the line, lol. But I did say extreme dark shit so *shrug*

My take on the Shaw situation and hockey culture

Think back to when you were 15 and heard the asshole white boys in your grade talk and how they acted. Essentially, that’s what we’re dealing with when we hear about NHL players acting up. Think about it. 99% of the league is white boys who were pulled out of high school or college and have never matured because they never needed to. Imagine being stuck in that mindset and never growing up because you never have to as long as you’re good on the ice. They can say whatever they want and act however they want and the league will excuse it almost every single time.

Now put yourselves in the shoes of a closeted hockey player (because there’s at least one there) and seeing that and seeing everyone in the crowd be ok with slurs being thrown around. Every day you have to hide a part of yourself because things like this are seen as ok insults. Imagine being so scared to come out because your entire work environment is tailored to hyper masculinity and with it such strong heteronormativity that your sexuality is the strongest insult other players can think of.

Apparently Shaw may face discipline but only because he did it on national tv. Like any other game it wouldn’t have mattered and that’s what’s sickening. Yeah, at least You Can Play is looking into it but knowing the NHL’s track record dealing with literally anything nothing will come of it because if they punish Shaw then they’ll have to punish every other homophobe. If they punish the homophobes maybe they’d have to start punishing other problematic groups like the sexual predators or abusers or racists. It makes sense the NHL lets things slide because if they started punishing people they’d very quickly have no one left to play.

Hockey is really important to me which is why I’m so harsh on them and why I want to see something happen. I don’t want to feel like my favorite sport is using my sexuality or gender identity or anyone else’s race as an insult. I want my girlfriend and I to feel safe when we go to games knowing that players and fans won’t be throwing the slur of the day around and making us feel like we, or any other minority on the ice, is being targeted. I just want hockey to respect me as a person so I can love it as much as possible.

Title: Five Times Emma Kisses Killian and One Time She Does Something Else

Fandom: OUAT

Word Count: 630 (future parts are much longer)

Rating: pg-13 / Teen

Characters: Emma/Hook, ensemble

Summary: Emma and Killian share a series of romantic moments in the midst of the struggle to defeat the witch. Season 3B speculation with a bunch of making out.

Notes: I haven’t done a five times fic in a long while, so I thought I’d give it a try. I’m halfway through part 4, so I’m hoping to update as often as every other day, but I make no promises.

Or read at Ao3



Emma pulls an old backpack out of the storage closet and hands it to Henry. “Here, fill this one, too. Take everything you might want for the next month. I have no idea when we might come back.”

If we come back, she thinks but doesn’t say as Henry nods and dashes back to his room.

Emma meets Hook’s eyes for a moment, and she can tell that he understands.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “If there’d been any other way—”

“Don’t apologize.” She pushes down the pain welling in her chest. “It might have been a happy lie, but it was still a lie. I’d rather have the truth any day. Especially when it brings me back to my family.” But it does hurt—god it hurts. This life had been a good one, just like Regina promised, while the reality she’s about to face will bring nothing but more of the exhausting and seemingly endless labor that her previous stint in Storybrooke once brought her. Even so, she doesn’t regret it. This is her truth, and she’ll take it, regardless of the consequences.

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Fanfic - Then I See Her Smile - 1/1

Summary:  When Iris smiles at him likes he’s the only person in the room Barry feels like he can do anything.

Rating: PG

Word Count: 955

A/N: Written for Day 3: favorite westallen quote(s)  for Westallen Appreciation Week

“But then I see her smile. Man, that cannot be science” - Barry Allen 

Barry can’t remember the last time he’d been this nervous.

His palms sweating and his heart racing and it feels like at any moment his entire world will tip on its axis.

“Hey buddy,” Cisco nudges into his side, “You doing okay?”

“I’m fine,” Barry says thickly. “Totally fine. Really I’m fine.”

“I guess you’re fine then,” Cisco rolls his eyes. “Stop looking like you’re going to melt into a puddle. You’re getting married today, not fighting off an alien race or dueling the Reverse Flash.”

Cisco claps Barry on the back sportively but it does little to relieve his stress.

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anonymous asked:

I wonder if Louis just went out one day and bought a bunch of skull shirt. I just picturing Harry coming home one day, opening their closet and seeing all the skull shirts and saying, "Babe, is there any particular reason you bought every skull shirt in LA? Are you trying to tell me something?" Then Louis explains his reasoning and now every time Harry sees a skull shirt, he picks it up for him as well and it has become a thing for them now to see who can find the coolest skull shirt for Louis.