he can also fight in a robe

• Severus Snape Appreciation Month •
Day 13.  Headcanons // 

Beware of a rather lengthy text post.


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Minerva taught him to be an animagus. She laughed for a solid ten minutes until there was nothing but silent tears when Severus, after years of training, turned into an awkward-looking black cat with crooked whiskers and too big ears. Dumbledore had to try very hard as well not to smile when his grumpy potion professor showed him his animagus form the first time. With Dumbledore’s help he managed to register under a false namn, mostly because Minerva insisted he’d be registered.


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He cared a lot about his students, but didn’t know how to comfort well.. anyone. So whenever there was a distressed student alone in the common room, he’d discreetly turn into the cat and sooth them with kitty purrs. The strange cat that turned up in the Slytherin common room every now and then, became sort of a legend. Much to his dismay he found out that the student had started calling this mysterious cat by the name of Mr. Whiskers. He casually suggested less ridiculous sounding name during various potion classes, but neither of his suggestions caught on. He remained Mr Whiskers.


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One student claimed to have seen two chasing each other in the corridor one night - one of the cat fitted the description of Mr. Whiskers and the other looked rather like Professor McGonagall’s animagus form. When excited Slytherin students asked her, she scolded them and assured them that it absolutely had not happened. Severus and Minerva became more careful after this.


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At first when he showed up at a mere 21 year old teacher, the rest of the staff was suspicious of him and his allegiance. But when Dumbledore clarified and put their minds to rest, they quickly started babying him instead. Much to his dismay they never really stopped. However they never did it in front of students, which he deeply appreciated.


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A rather colourful urban legend tells that Severus once when defied by a rather obnoxious student, had turned that student into a toad and put it in a potion in front of the rest of the class. Minerva and Severus laughs about it sometimes. But when a student asks if the rumour is true, he merely smirks and never responds.


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He doesn’t label himself as anything when it comes to his sexuality, but if pressed he’d say he is bisexual if anything. In reality the thing that attracts him sexually to people are the tiniest things in their mannerism - the way they hold a cigarette, flicks their hair when annoyed or a twinkle in their eyes. With Lucius it was how he scratches his nose when he’s embarrassed.



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He had a very conflicting attraction to Regulus - every small thing that was purely Regulus made him want to grab the younger student and ravish him. But every small mannerism younger Black had in common with his prat of an older brother made Severus want to strangle him. This resulted into Severus at times being extremely kind to Regulus and being extremely pissy at him just a moment later. Regulus accepted this irregular behaviour when the older students explained that Severus was just a bit eccentric in general.


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One during a party at Malfoy Manor during the first war, he ended up in a threesome with Bellatrix and Rodolphus, the latter being lowkey bisexual. Bella and Severus never acknowledged this afterwards, both being rather comfortable in pretending it never happened, but Rodolphus continuously acted quite tender around Severus after this.


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He took up smoking when he was a teenager, but has tried to quit smoking several times during the years. Sometimes he gets into periods when he only takes on in the morning. But he’s not handling stress very well, so whenever he gets too stressed he starts smoking again. When still in school he managed to tweak a spell so he could light his cigarette wandlessly, by snapping his fingers. He’s still secretly ridiculously proud of that. He still uses it.


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The only ones who’ve seen him cry in adult age is Minerva, Hagrid and Albus. He regularly sees Poppy to deal with his depression/anxiety and together they have worked out a pretty well working potion he takes daily.


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He has a rather impressive collection of muggle literature. He’s specially fond of Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie, but in general he reads all sorts of genres. In all honesty, he never thought wizard fiction was as good as muggle fiction. Once Lucius and him had a book reading circle when Severus would read Sherlock Holmes for him.

Lucius surprised him into being pretty well-versed in the muggle culture. When asked he merely shrugged and admitted that his family had dealt with muggle business on and off for centuries. However, they had done it secretly after the Statute of Secrecy was enforced.


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Every Christmas Narcissa sends him the most ridiculous set of evening robe she can find. Severus wears it on Christmas Day when visiting the Malfoy Manor, much to her amusement. They call it The Ugly Christmas Dressrobe Tradition and they take it very seriously. 


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His favourite band is The Beatles. He’s willing to fight over this. Second is David Bowie and he might have had a period when he only listened to The Cure. He has all a ton of different records and even bought a record player that doesn’t run on electricity just so he could listen to them. He’s also a fan of classical music and occasionally enjoys Frank Sinatra.


b o n u s 〗    

Has a shy bladder and therefore is thankful of his private bathroom. He never visits any of the other bathrooms. The rest of the staff occasionally tease him in a friendly manner about this.

Got7 as Elves

A/N - When I saw the request my mind immediately went to Lord of the Rings style elves just because that was my first proper fandom all those years ago and I’m kind of obsessed 😂 Hope you all enjoy~ (also sorry if you’re not into this kind of thing)

Could you do an imagine with Got7 as elves with pointy ears and magic powers and I’m rambling and I love and cherish your blog and omg just imagine those boys in robes and stuff asdfghjkl ❤❤❤❤❤ 

Mark: Mark’s a quiet elf and doesn’t appear like he would be a particularly amazing fighter. He’s also one of the prettier elves which often makes people think he can’t fight all that well but he’s just as strong as the others. Definitely an elegant yet powerful elf.

JB: He can definitely lead an army of elves and has no problems fighting in battles. He wouldn’t care for wearing typical elven robes and opts for armour instead. JB would probably defy all stereotypes of elves and will just do his own thing, something the others admire him for.

Jackson: Jackson would be strong and a good fighter of an elf, but he’s not quite the calm, graceful image often associated with elves of Middle Earth. People would probably doubt his skills on the battlefield but as soon as they see him, they realise just how strong he actually is.

Jinyoung: Okay so Jinyoung is definitely the Legolas of this group. Like he’s just perfect at everything and is the strongest of the Got7 elves. I can see everyone looking up to him and admiring him strongly because of how strong and powerful he is.

Youngjae: He’d be quite optimistic, even if things weren’t looking great for them and would do what he could to make sure he protected his elven friends. Youngjae isn’t one of the best on the battlefield but he’s loyal as anything and will do whatever it takes.

Bambam: Bambam maybe wouldn’t be the strongest elf out there but he’d make up for it with his recklessness. He’d go all in and wouldn’t be scared of whoever he had to fight. He’d love to wear elven robes too, and would feel all powerful as he walked around, the cloth swaying at his feet.

Yugyeom: A young but strong and loyal elf. Yugyeom looks up to the others and is often trying to prove his worth among them all. He wouldn’t have as much experience on the battlefield but I can see him being dedicated and ready to put his life at risk for the greater good.

3

The Emperor with her Knight and Advisor

I just can’t get over this Palpatine!Rey au. It is so much fun. I like to think that when she isn’t dressed in robes for subjects, she’s rather unrefined (and ready to fight). She sure as hell doesn’t care if ladies don’t sit like that.

Who From Ace Attorney Should You Fight?

Phoenix Wright who wins: probably Phoenix

Phoenix’s body is probably made out of frickin iron or something this guy has  chewed and swallowed a necklace, been physically assaulted by a murderer, hit over the head with a fire extinguisher with temporary amnesia as the only consequence, was thrown head first into a telephone pole but walked away with only frickin sprained ankle, and fell from a bridge on fiRE INTO A FREEZING RIVER WITH ONLY A FEVER.  If you can catch him off guard and are extremely skilled in martial arts, you might be able to win but otherwise Nick will probably fuck you up only because his body is probably invincible to harm.

Maya Fey who wins: NO ONE BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT HAVING A FIGHT

WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU FIGHTING THE ACTUAL RAY OF SUNSHINE THAT IS MAYA FEY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH????  If for some sick reason this thought has appeared in your brain, however, she’s pretty small and probably couldn’t withstand more than one or two blows…although she’s probably agile as shit and might have learned a thing or two from the Steel Samurai.  But also dO NOT FIGHT MAYA FEY WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS DO YOU HATE HAPPINESS

Miles Edgeworth who wins: Edgeworth

Yeah, you’re not gonna win this one…just look at that smug little face.  He knows infinitely more than you do, and even if you wanted to fight him you would probably regret it.  Definitely would do anything necessary to win, so have fun when you’re suffocated by his cravat.  Sorry.

The Judge who wins: you

I don’t think the judge is super ripped underneath his robes, so you can win this one…also the judge is gullible as shit, too.  That helps.

Mia Fey: who wins: probably not you

If you have a statue of “The Thinker” you might have a chance (I am a piECE OF GARBAGE)…but otherwise she will send your ass to frickin demon hell.  Don’t fight Mia Fey.

Dick Gumshoe who wins: it’s 50-50

Is he huge?  Yeah.  Is he a detective and therefore most likely trained in some sort of self defense?  Yeah.  Is he also a weenie?  Yeah.  I think you could probably win if you went for his face and fought quickly, although Gumshoe is fiercely protective of people he cares about and would probably cut a bitch if you insulted Edgeworth.  But also what did poor Gumshoe do to deserve this?? Why do you feel the need to fight him he will probably use a year’s paycheck to cover his medical expenses???  

Larry Butz who wins: you

Yeah you’ll win but at what cost???  Why do you feel the need to do this???

Wendy Oldbag who wins: hopefully you

Don’t fight Oldbag unless you are certain you can win–then PLEASE fight Oldbag I’m sorry but she just needs to stop

Manfred von Karma who wins: r u fo real

No move is too dirty for von Karma; his attacks range from whipping out a taser to fabricating evidence to frame you of murder.  You won’t win this one, buddy.

Marvin Grossberg who wins: probably you

While he’s got a lot “cushion” to take some damage, just steal his glasses because you can bet your bottom dollar that he is batshit blind without them and then punch him in the nose–he won’t see that coming!! (I am literally trash)

Winston Payne who wins: definitely you

There is like a 95% chance you will win this fight, and honestly fight Winston Payne.  He needs to be forcefully pushed off his high horse for frick’s sake he basically has the word pain in his name please do it do it for me  

Pearl Fey who wins: N O

what the FUCK is wrong with you go reevaluate your life choices you piece of garbage

Franziska von Karma who wins: probably her

Yeah, I know most of you think that she could probably hand anyone’s ass back to them howeVER if you can catch her whip somehow you can definitely absolutely stand a chance.  The sheer shock of losing her most powerful weapon will give you a pretty big opening, so I think winning is possible against Franziska.  I still don’t recommend it, though.

Morgan Fey who wins: Morgan

As much as I want you to punch Morgan Fey in the face, don’t.  You may win the battle but you will probably never, ever win the war she will plot the most convoluted revenge plot imaginable so frickin watch yourself around Morgan don’t fight her it’s for your own good

Matt Engarde who wins: you

PUNCH THIS FUCKER RIGHT IN THE FRICKIN FACE DO THE WORLD A FAVOR P L E A S E  

Dahlia Hawthorne who wins: she literally almost killed someone even though she was DEAD do you actually think this is a good idea??

Do you KNOW who Dahlia Hawthorne is?  You’re not going to win a fight–she’ll bite, scratch, pinch, scream in your face or piss on you if that’s what it takes for her to win.  

Godot: who do you frickin think dipshit

If you’re thinking to yourself, “wow I really want to fight Godot!!!” then you should definitely fight Godot so that he can wipe your miserable ass off the face of the earth I will not be coming to your funeral son

Charley who wins: haha loser you’re fighting a plant

But Lothar was basically a cynical recluse, who kept everyone at a distance, even his own family, and he was the best warrior to ever live, because all he did was fight.

And then in comes this bookish kid who orders HIM around and who is just insufferably idealistic and keen, and despite himself Lothar can feel a lost part of him waking up.

And Lothar kinda wants to teach this mage kid about Life, but he also kinda want to rip his neet robes and fuck him over a table.

Harrison had only meant to close his eyes for a few seconds. Enough to rest them but only that. He hadn’t banked on falling asleep…even though he’d known the last couple of sleepless nights meant it was inevitable. And what a nightmare it was and just as Dex’s gloved hands reached out towards him that Harrison jolted awake with a cry. Gathering his wits he pulled his robes tighter around him and tried to fight back a blush as his eyes landed on someone nearby. “Please–Please don’t tell anyone about that.”