re all the shit people have been saying about “Tamlin has redeemed himself” “let’s all feel sorry for him now” I just… so strongly disagree with this romanticisation of an abuser.
Yes, Tamlin did some good things. He allied himself with the high lords, brought Rhys back, saved Feyre and Az’s skins. Yes he is a complex, nuanced character with the ability to do good and bad things. But this does not change the fact that he is an abusive misogynistic TWATHEAD. Everyone saying that they feel so sorry for Tamlin because he lost the person he loved, well I’m sorry but that is so WRONG. Yes Tamlin loved Feyre, but he loved her selfishly. He loved her in a way that required her to be who he wanted her to be, he loved her in a way that constrained her and hindered her growth. He loved her in a way that didn’t allow her the freedom to become the person she wanted to be.
Not to mention the disgusting misogynistic comments he made about Feyre in the high lords meeting. They aren’t even together anymore and he is STILL sexualising her.
Not to mention his cruelty towards Lucien, making him have sex with Ianthe on Calanmai, sneering at him and not giving him any respect or time to speak or explain when he saw him in Illyrian leathers at the final meeting.
Yes, he has himself suffered, but a tragic past does NOT justify becoming an abuser. Look at Feyre, Rhys, Mor, Azriel. They have all suffered forms of abuse themselves.
Feyre herself acknowledged that there is something fucked up about him: “One day, perhaps he would face those insidious fears, that destructive rage rotting away inside him.” This is in no way Feyre saying that Tamlin is a good person, this is her acknowledging that he isn’t, and hoping that someday he can overcome that and better himself and find peace.
Yes, Feyre wished him happiness, but that does not equal redemption, that does not forgive his abuse of our beloved protagonist. That is Feyre letting go of the pain he caused, the hatred and the darkness he created in her. That does not make his actions ok.
He broke her in ACOMAF, he wrecked her soul. She was struggling and she was lost and he turned a blind eye to her pain, her suffering, and he did not help her, did not comfort her. He constrained her, trapped her and caused more damage to an already broken, hurting shell of a person. And there is no excuse for that. He did not lose the person he loved, he drove her away, and while he may have bettered himself in some ways and done good things, he deserves everything that’s coming to him as a consequence of that abuse.