he begged me to post this

calling out the 1776 musical on its fake ass characterization bc during “till then” when abby tells john the children are sick he asks “madam, what else is new” instead of like, fretting for half an hour and begging abigail to write a letter whenever one of the children so much as coughs, as would’ve been historically accurate

Things Harry Styles Does In Bed (smut/ish)
  1. “Wakes you up with neck kisses while he murmurs “Wake up baby, c’mon baby, there you go” as his hands travel straight to your breasts and squeezes gently till you’re more awake
  2. Drags his fingers gently over your whole body until you’re completely covered in goose bumps 
  3. Absolutely loves how shy you get when his mouth gets filthy when you’re least expecting it. “Put the book down love, I wanna eat that sweet pussy for breakfast”. You’d go red. And he’d love it. 
  4. Will lie on his side next to you while you’re on your stomach watching Netflix, and his hands will randomly start massaging your thighs. “Harry” you’d warn. “Mmm” is all he’d mumble with a small smile. “I need to get through one episode of FRIENDS with out us having sex before the episode’s up, it’s 20 minutes” you would tell him. “That’s too long darling” he’d whine. “Think of how many times I could make you scream with 20 minutes” 
  5. “With me you always come twice, at least twice” 
  6. Was so gentle and loving the first time you slept together. Constantly asked if you were okay. Refused to fuck you until you came. 
  7. Was so completely on board with your praise kink. “Baby, you’re always so good for me. My good girl” 
  8. Spanks you whenever you do something he doesn’t like. Like the one time you smiled and laughed at that idiot’s joke at your office party, because the idiot was your boss. “Count them for me baby, 6 more left” he’d say soothing the sting before his hand would come down again.
  9. Would demand that you open your legs for him after he’s teased you all day long, knowing how wet you’d be for him. 
  10. “This? It belongs to me” he’d growl, stroking up and down your heat before plunging his fingers into you. 
  11. So. Much. Over-stimulation.
  12. Speaking of over stimulation, would just drag you back to your place when you’d move away, far too sensitive. You’d be whimpering and begging him to stop, but he’d keep on going. 
  13. “Now baby, since you were naughty and didn’t ask permission to come, you get two options. Shall I edge you till you beg me to let you come or make you come until you’re begging me to stop?”
  14. Pins your hands over your head when you’ve misbehaved, but he doesn’t have it in him to spank you or to deny you an orgasm. He knows how much you love to touch him during sex. 
  15.  “Don’t you dare hide your face, I wanna see you when you come” 
  16. Wouldn’t let you out of bed post sex. “Oh no, you’re staying right here baby” he’d growl playfully. “Harry” you’d giggle “I need to do things today”. “Yes. you need to do me, over and over again” 
  17. Cuddles because he was rough with you the night before. 
  18. He’s big on aftercare, let’s be serious, he’s a sweetheart. 
  19. Would kiss every inch of your body while you came down from however many orgasms he’d fucked into you that night. 
  20. “God, you ride me so good. So good f’me” he’d groan whenever you were on top
  21. Made you come 6 times in one night. The 6th was the best. He’d whipped out a curvy toy, astounding you, pushed the toy into your overly sensitive core and sucked on your clit until you were screaming. And that, was how you experienced your first ever squirt. 
  22. Worshiped you on the occasions where you surprised him in lingerie. “Get over here, your boyfriend’s got some work to do” 
  23. Would always be trying new positions with you. 
  24. The one time you faked an orgasm because you were both tipsy and you knew it wasn’t gonna happen, he got so upset until you told him he was the best you’d ever had. He made up for it. All. Damn. Night. 
  25. “Did I ever tell you I really, really like having sex with you?” 
7

I’ve been contemplating on posting this (I feel like I’m such a private person), but might as well 😂 I had uni all day on May 2nd and had to do a group presentation, so I BEGGED my bf to pick up my book for me. He’s in grad school (in graphic design), so his classes are super important right now so I was just so GRATEFUL he skipped class for this

Side note: this is part 1 of my May 2nd day, if you guys want i’ll post my second part of the day!

honestly tho this is one of my favorite random little scenes

like. we have no context for why Bakugou is good at using a kitchen knife. he just. is

it’s such a random, completely normal, domestic household skill and it’s Bakugou (aka Mr. Baron von Blasty MsSplodokills) who’s presented, by the narrative and the characters themselves, as being really good at it, and i love it

I JUST LOVE HOW RANDOMLY TALENTED HE IS OK and honestly this scene begs the question of, like, did he help make meals at his house??? did his mom make him help out with making dinner?? does he just enjoy cooking?? why is he so good at using a kitchen knife????

what other random domestic skills do you have, Bakugou 

tell me your secrets my angry child

Bakugou is such a Mom Friend ok

3

Almost no one is permitted to come to Caer Oswin. The last time I managed to see him, it was only because I bullied my way into the castle and insisted his strange new guards take me to him. And I say “strange new guards” for a reason: almost all the Oswin retainers have been sent away. These men didn’t wear Bann Loren’s colors, and they struck me more as prison wardens than as protectors. Loren himself was pale and almost delirious. I begged him to see a physic, and he promised he would, but I doubt he ever did.

‘Cough Syrup Murder’

(This is a fairly new case so investigations are still ongoing)

Matthew Phelps, a 28-year-old form North Carolina, phoned police on September 1st 2017 at 1:01am to turn himself in for the murder of his own wife, Lauren Hugelmaier  (both pictured above.) He told the 911 dispatcher “I had a dream and then I turned on the lights and she’s dead on the floor. I have blood all over me and there’s a bloody knife on the bed, and I think I did it…I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this.” He later told the dispatcher “I think I killed my wife. Oh my God. Oh God. She didn’t deserve this. Why?”

https://soundcloud.com/abc11-wtvd (You can listen to the 911 call here)

Matthew and Lauren were only married just last year. When asked about Lauren her relatives said she was “all about her family. Her four nephews were her entire world.” and that “church was a priority.” Lauren volunteered at the youth ministry and adored the children there. Matthew was studying to become a pastor.

Phelps told the dispatcher that he “took more medicine than I should have…I took Coricidin cough and cold, because I know it can make you feel good. So, a lot of times I can’t sleep at night.” Coricidin contains dextromethorphan and chloropheniramine which, when taken in high doses, can cause euphoria, dissociative behaviours, anger and psychoses.

Phelps was taken into custody and was later charged with murder. He is currently being held at Wake County Jail. The death penalty is a possible sentence for him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7ZwFS0x33Q (Phelps in court)

Recently hs social media life was revealed. On Instaram he used the username ‘marty_radical.’ He captioned one of this posts with “I can’t get out of bed. There is evil in my head” (lyrics from Beg For Me, Korn.) He also apparently has a tumblr were he shared his stories about his insomnia stating “Ever since I was little, I’ve had some strong activity in my dreams. Nightmares, night terrors, sleepwalking, hallucinations, and controlled dreams have filled my life so far.”

LOTR things that still haunt me after all these goddamn years

  • Frodo deliriously crying out for Gandalf after he’s wounded
  • Frodo intially trying to fight Boromir as he tries to run out to Gandalf, then clinging to Boromir for dear life mere moments later
  • “You can’t help me, Sam. Not this time.”
  • Frodo suffering a flashback, and “Mr. Frodo! It’s all right. I’m here” so soon after
  • Frodo begging Sam to help him as he starts to sink under the Ring’s weight
  • Frodo removing his helmet as he gasps for air and struggles to speak
  • watching Frodo crawl up Mount Doom when he is too weak to walk
  • the way it takes Frodo a couple of seconds to respond when Sam asks him what’s wrong and how he looks so deeply distressed when he mentions Weathertop

bonus book things

  • Frodo weeping in despair as he watches the Witch-King and his host leave Minas Morgul
  • when the hobbits are returning home and Frodo begs them to hasten as they approach Weathertop and he doesn’t fucking look at it as they ride past wHAT THE FU-
  • Frodo concealing his illness for Sam’s sake. nOBODY TOUCH ME.
Territory (Dogboy Hybrid AU) | Taehyung x You

Rated: M 

Warning: Graphic hybrid smut. Please don’t read this if you’re not into it because I don’t want to scar you

Summary: Dogboy Tae gets extremely possessive when “that time of the month” rolls around and find’s it hard to control his natural instincts and his dominating nature during the monthly occurrence.

Note: Ah, okay, so this is my first time ever writing about Hybrids and stuff like that, so please bear with me. The idea came to mind while I was surfing the interwebz, so I just thought I’d write it up. What a thing to be my first post lol, but oh well.. Idgaf. I’m pretty much uneducated on “Dogboys” but I’m giving it my best shot.. HUZZAH!!~ 

Words: 2,932


You were driving him insane. The intoxicating scent of you calling out to him, begging for him to mount you and claim you as his own before any other male could get to you. It was hard to fight his natural instincts, but he knew better than to force you into anything and you had told him you didn’t feel well, stating you had ‘cramps’ or something along those lines. But your body was crying out for him to dominate you, your body needed him, he could sense it, and it was taking every ounce of his willpower to refrain from mounting you whenever he was in your presence. And that was quite a lot.

It was already hard enough not to mount you, so he really couldn’t help his need to follow you around everywhere, his possessive nature having to make sure no other male could get near you, his precious bitch. Just the thought of it made the hair on the back of his neck raise, his hands clench into fists and a snarl appear on his lips, slightly revealing his canines hid beneath. 

He was in no mood to be tested today in particular. He could sense you were at your peak of ovulation, which was when it was most hard for him to suppress his feral desires. It was so strange to him how humans were so unaware to what their bodies needed. Couldn’t you sense even a little bit how badly your body was yearning for him? He could only shake his head, perplexed by your utter oblivion. 

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international zen

Without

((James and Sirius played by the lovely @kapitan5o and @asktheboywholived)) 


-The full moon is bright and moments from rising as Remus lays curled on the ground, breathing painfully- 

Sirius: How it was the light in the darkness, how even on the worst days it would be there to save us, now i just-

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Jamaica (Part 1)

Originally posted by sign-of-the-styles

You guys are amazing. The fact that anyone likes my writing makes my heart so happy. Was gonna wait to post this, but this is my way of saying Happy Halloween! Send me requests, message me, I’d love to get to know all of you. Many, many parts of this will be coming. You go to Jamaica, meet Harry, and he gets inspired. Hope you love it. xx - L

Warnings: mentions of smut

Word Count: 2,106

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I saw this post I made a little while ago come back across my dash recently and it made me want to kick up the idea of a Farm-Boy Danny AU again, so let’s start this sucker off-

At the end of TUE, Clockwork doesn’t save Danny’s family and friends and they all die in the explosion. Now faced with the very real possibility of following his evil future self’s path, he outright refuses to live with Vlad and instead begs his Aunt Alicia to let him stay with her.

She really doesn’t have the space or experience to take care of a teenager but Danny is determined. He even counters the child service’s complaints about lack of space and amenities by offering to let Alicia use his inheritance to renovate her home, and even sells off some of his parent’s inventions to the GIW for extra money (it’s not like he’ll be around for them to use it on)

In the end through sheer stubborn force of will he gets everyone to agree and starts a new life helping Alicia to cultivate her farm, which begins to prosper much more thanks to Danny’s extra cash getting in some new livestock and veggie gardens. Unfortunately the entire time is spent with Vlad breathing down their necks looking for legal loopholes to get Danny out of Alicia’s custody and into his. He even stoops to having Skulker seek them out, raise a little hell and just make things all out difficult for them to keep the farm in one piece since if Alicia can’t keep up a good cash flow to take care of them both then Vlad can have Danny taken from her.

Part of the reason Danny’s mental condition stagnated in his original aborted timeline was because living with Vlad and having everything handed to him he had nothing to do but lock himself in his room and dwell on his thoughts and make himself more miserable.

Living on a farm Danny finds himself far more busy and finds less time to dwell on his thoughts. The times when he does think about his family and friends he has Alicia there with him, who’ll notice his funk and immediately start sharing funny stories from her and Maddie’s childhood. Danny will, in return, share funny stories about the shenanigans him and his friends would always get up to. Having Alicia understand his pain (after all, she did just lose her only sister) and help to keep him dwelling on positive memories helps him to heal just a little bit more easily.

He keeps his ghost powers a secret from Alicia, mostly because he hasn’t yet figured out her opinion on ghosts and he hasn’t seen any reason to tell her. As it is he rarely slips into ghost form any more except to go out on late night flights and occasionally kick Skulker off the premises, but he does use his powers to help him with farm work whenever he feels like it. Although some days when he’s in a particularly bad funk he’ll do it all like a regular human.

Things go fairly well (besides the occasional sabotage attempt by either Vlad or his cronies) until Danny’s ice powers start kicking in. Having no way of controlling them and no access to the Far Frozen for help besides Vlad’s portal (he’d had the Fenton portal deactivated and taken apart before leaving Amity Park, he didn’t want the ghost’s coming through and destroying everything while he was gone) Danny’s powers continue to grow out of control. Of course eventually Alicia notices that something’s up and Danny can’t play it off as an illness for very long, especially with his temperature consistently plummeting. When everything he touches starts turning to ice under his fingers he realises that he has to come clean with Alicia, or she’s going to discover his secret herself.

But even then it might not matter if he can’t get his powers under control and stop himself from slipping him into an unintentional hibernation.

10

Yes, if I lived to be a hundred, I shall always hear the superhuman cry of grief and rage which he uttered when the terrible sight appeared before my eyes… I fell back against the wall and he came up to me, grinding his teeth hideously, and, as I fell upon my knees, he hissed mad, incoherent words and curses at me. Leaning over me, he cried, “Look! You want to see? See! Feast your eyes, glut your soul on my cursed ugliness! Look at Erik’s face! Now you know the face of the voice! You were not content to hear me, eh? You wanted to know what I looked like? Oh, you women are so inquisitive! Well, are you satisfied? I’m a good-looking fellow, eh?… When a women has seen me, as you have, she belongs to me. She loves me for ever! I am a kind of Don Juan, you know!” And, drawing himself up to his full height, with his hand on his hip, wagging the hideous thing that was his head on his shoulders, he roared, “Look at me! I am Don Juan triumphant!” And when I turned away my head and begged for mercy, he drew my head back to him, brutally, twisting his dead fingers into my hair.

AntiSepticEye: Explained

Alright, I’m going to sit down and clear up anything and everything I can think of about Anti right now, so I don’t end up random-spamming for no reason and hitting my post limit again. This is going to be long, but I want people to read it, so hang tight. 

What do we know about AntiSepticEye?

- He is an entity that shares a body with JackSepticEye.
- He has proclaimed his purpose is to take over Jack’s channel.
- He was named by the community, not by himself.
- He alludes to drawing power from the community noticing him.
- He has taken over Jack three times now.
- Each time has been slightly different, for different reasons.
- Each time, he has taken over something new that belongs to Jack.
- He has knowledge of, and interacts with, at least one of Jack’s other Egos. (Doctor Schneeplestein)
- Doctor Schneeplestein, and himself, have both alluded to him being an outside entity that gets inside a person’s brain to take control.
- Jack, on multiple occasions, has referred to him as a demon.
- He has explicitly stated that he has killed Jack.
- He wears different clothing than Jack; specifically dark green hair, a black tee shirt, and gauges. Occasionally has black eyes or one ‘septic’ eye (green/blue).
- Always has a slit throat.
- Prefers to speak/type in glitched Zalgo text.
- Has associated himself with childrens’ laughter.

So what does this mean? What is AntiSepticEye?

Many have speculated that Anti may in fact be a demon whose sole purpose is to kill Jack and take over his channel. But have you noticed how he acts?

- Giggles almost incessantly.
- Twitches and glitches.
- Smiles almost constantly.
- Makes broad movements, sometimes violently.
- Points a knife at the camera.
- Holds a knife to his own/Jack’s neck.
- Reaches towards the camera.
- Directs all speech towards the camera.
- Whispers in the background.

How he speaks?

- Speaks with confidence, usually in absolutes. It’s all mine. There’s nothing you can do.
- Places blame for his existence on the viewers. This is all your fault. You just watched.
- Talks almost always about Jack. You can’t save him. He’s gone forever.
- Acknowledges social media. They all follow me now.
- Talks about the others (Jack, Schneep, Chase) as if they’re less than he is, but also acknowledges that they’re precious to the audience in a way that he is not.
- Talks about how ‘weak’ Jack is, specifically his body, and how that allowed him to take over.

All of this is attention-grabbing, it’s made explicitly to get us to pay attention to him, to Anti. He does everything in teasing trails, cliffhangers, hints and messages that get everyone talking about him and he seems to love it. But when things go wrong, he gets angry. He gets upset because he’s not receiving the attention he craves.

- I’m tired of pretending.
- How many times must we… keep fooling around? Over and over, fucking circles!
- I’m. In. CONTROL. This is MY world.
- Has become upset enough to actually swear.
- Shows extreme distaste for the mocking name of “Glitch Bitch”.
- Lashes out some with his knife.
- Talks much more grandiose than usual, especially about himself.
- Stresses that he cannot be gotten rid of.
- Thumps his chest, gets closer to the camera to stress that he is the center of attention.
- Sarcastically uses the words ‘favorite boy’ in reference to his next victim, who is slightly unclear at the moment - likely Jack or Chase.

He hates that he has to pretend to be Jack for so long in order to wind up the perfect amount of tension to get everyone involved. He hates that he had to ‘go in circles’, that he had to wind down so that he could explode again. He hates that if he stays, the hype will eventually die. He absolutely hates that people are rooting against him, with their #septicsave tag and theories of how to destroy or get rid of him. He hates that the attention may be on him, but more of it is on his victims. He hates what his hype has become. That’s why he’s upset.

So did Anti kill Jack?

Jack himself said after Say Goodbye that no, Anti did not kill him. This, according to Anti, was him pretending. So you can see why people would be skeptical of the vlog after Kill JackSepticEye stating almost the exact same thing. Anti didn’t kill me.

The thing is, this is a vlog - there is no intro of ‘Top o’ the mornin to ya laddies, my name is JackSepticEye.’ This isn’t Jack. This is Sean. Yes, there is a difference between Sean and Jack, if you think about it he’s ‘in character’ for almost all of his videos. Same for Markiplier, for PewDiePie, for any other gamer that goes by a pseudonym or nickname. They don’t always act the way they do on camera in real life, because they’re playing a character and they’ve become comfortable in that. 

So from this, we can infer that it could technically be possible for Anti to kill Jack. Because Jack is another persona of Sean’s. But did he kill Jack? Well, Schneep stated that he has almost lost Jack once before, and had to save him. We can infer that this incident took place during Say Goodbye, where Anti first took over, and Schneep must have saved Jack just after. In Kill JackSepticEye, though, it’s implied that not only did Anti kill Jack, but he also killed Schneep. We’ve seen, though, that Anti seems to be able to function perfectly well with Jack simply incapacitated. After all, if he hadn’t been killed during Say Goodbye, then what says he was actually killed during Kill JackSepticEye? Again, what Anti does is all for attention. If he really kills Jack, then he can’t ‘kill’ him again at a later date for more hype. Then again, with his frustration, he may have been forced to take drastic measures.

As far as we know, this is a ‘Schneeplestein’s Jack’ equation - Jack is either alive or dead, and we won’t know until Sean or Anti opens the box on us, revealing everything.

You didn’t answer my question. What is AntiSepticEye?

I know, you needed that information first.

It’s implied that Anti is a demon, yes, but what kind of demon? Some have speculated that he’s a Bill Cipher sort of demon, able to make ‘deal with the devil’ sort of trades, and that’s how he killed Chase. We have no evidence for this, but it’s a nice theory if you like angst. Another thought is that he’s not a demon at all but some sort of sentient virus that takes over a brain via the blood and corrupts it. Working off of the virus theory is that he’s able to take over electronics instead, although it doesn’t explain why he’s able to take over Jack’s body. These are all good theories, and mine is just one of them, but I think it has enough merit to warrant a read:

AntiSepticEye is part of Jack. Part of Sean, and his collective of Egos. He always has been. This would make it impossible for him to actually kill Jack without killing a part of himself, thus making his own form weaker. Why does Anti want to kill Jack? Because he wants to take over his channel. Why does he want to take over the channel? Because he wants attention.

But why does he want attention in the first place?

This is something I’m not sure anyone has actually covered, at least not that I’ve seen. Anti’s been constantly referred to as a demon, but if he’s part of Jack, then what does that mean? He’s one of Jack’s demons. His internal ones. In my mind, he’s less of an Ego like Markiplier’s, and more of a Side like Thomas Sanders’. He’s the embodiment of Jack’s greediness, his want for more attention and more views. It’s something that definitely helps him, likely motivates him to make sure he gets videos out and stays on schedule, but when left unchecked it does things like make hype over sudden, unexpected merch.

The thing is, Anti feels frustrated. He feels ignored because he tried so hard to make this happen, to build up to his grand finale of actually killing JackSepticEye, and the community ruined it for him by defending Jack, and Chase, and Schneep, and even the Egos he hadn’t even targeted. They made him upset by using the #septicsave tag, which by a large majority was used to separate him from the rest of the egos– from the rest of himself. It was used to make him seem like an outsider, something other, something evil. They wanted to save the others from him, but they stopped caring about Anti himself.

The first time he surged, everyone was focused entirely on him. They drew fanart, made theories, but it was all about him and that’s what he wanted. He wanted to feel heard and feel like he existed because before then he’d never been noticed. Jack had never put him out there to be noticed. He loved it so much he appeared not too soon after, introducing Jack at PAX East. The results were still positive, but not so much so, and he decided he needed to step up his game and go into hiding for a whole lot longer than that.

But when he started back up again, the short burst of hype was filled with people saying things like, ‘he’d better not come back again’ and ‘I hate this’ and ‘just get it over with’. Like people didn’t want him to show up again. Like they didn’t appreciate him. And that’s probably what upset him the most, the fact that we didn’t seem to want him around anymore. The effect was multiplied when people started making assumptions about Chase, bringing him into the equation and shoving Anti further into the ‘bad guy’ role without him doing anything. That’s not what he wanted, he wanted the attention to be on him, not his supposed victims. And because he felt ignored, felt pushed aside and dismissed in favor of the more ‘important’ sides of Jack, he got mad.

In almost all of the pictures Anti posted, even where he’s smiling, he looks pissed. His expression is tight, less of a smile and more of a grimace or snarl. He’s not smiling at all in the other two, glaring into the camera. We made him angry, we didn’t give him the attention he wanted, and so he had no choice but to yell and scream at us, to make us listen. But we didn’t listen, we just yelled back and begged him to ‘post the next video and get it over with’. Not because we wanted to see him again, but because we wanted him to be done and go.

So he did. He never posted the next video. He went back to his Jack facade (or possibly let Jack go) and left us alone, because that’s the only way he’s going to get attention. And he hates it. He hates being excluded like this.

So what do we do about it?

I propose that the next time Anti shows up, if he shows up again, we give an overwhelmingly positive response. Anti is a little messed up in the head, he may be psychopathic or sociopathic to some extent, but that doesn’t mean he’s not looking for our attention, our approval. He’s always watching us, watching us watch him, looking at our reaction to see if he’s doing it right, if he’s doing what we want him to do.

If we give him loving responses, tell him how happy we are to see him again and draw fanart of just him, put the spotlight back on him, maybe he won’t be so upset. Maybe that’s how we apologize for hurting his feelings. For making him mad. We give him what he wants, and maybe he’ll see he’s just as important to us as the other parts of Jack are, and that he doesn’t need to threaten them get our attention. He doesn’t want to be Jack, he doesn’t want to kill Jack. He wants us to love him just like we love Jack. He wants the attention, the love and support Jack has, that Chase and Schneep and Jackieboy Man and Marvin the Magician and even SepticEye Sam have. He’s always treated as a demon or a monster, or some outside virus.

But he’s not. He’s part of Jack. And I think we need to show him that we understand that.

We love you, Anti. Please come back. <3


tl;dr - Anti is a part of Jack, and we need to love and respect him.

Damn Fine Police Work

Context: In a dark heresy campaign, my Iron Hands techmarine had just shot off the sword arm of an enemy officer charging me with a chainsword. I then crushed his other hand so he couldn’t fight back and dangled him upside down by the foot with my servo arm, attempting to interrogate him for information. At this point the officer is bleeding profusely out of both arms and what little blood is left in him is rushing to his head. My character is heavily augmented with cybernetics and takes a large penalty on any ‘charisma’ based interactions with anyone who is not.

Me (ooc): “I want to ask this guy about enemy troop locations in the area so we have an idea of what we’re up against.”

*critically fails the intimidation check*

DM: “You begin screaming incoherently while shaking him up an down with your servo arm. The mental strain he goes through trying to understand your nonsense while hanging upside down gives him a brain aneurysm and he dies on the spot.”

Me: “Apothecary! I require your skills to revive this important fleshling!”

Blood Angel Apothecary (successfully using his bone drill to perform complex brain surgery): “Don’t you die on me, human! I must kill you myself! The emperor demands it!”

DM: “The officer regains consciousness with the apothecary’s drill still lodged in his skull and immediately begins screaming in pain and fear.”

Me: “Cease your whimpering, scum! Tell us what we want to know!”

*fails another intimidation check*

DM: “The officer, not even knowing what it is you want from him, abandons all hope and begins begging for death. He promptly runs out of blood and dies. Again. No amount of “first aid” can bring him back.

Me (gently poking his corpse to see if he’s still alive): “Hmm…Perhaps I was not frightening enough. I will take this into consideration for future interrogations." 

Our Squad’s Devastator (who has a notably higher ‘charisma’ than everyone else and just watched the whole ordeal unfold): "Hey guys? Not to rain on your torture parade or anything, but uhh… I think I should handle the prisoners from now on.”

The apothecary and I disagreed.

which mcelroy should u fight by me

justin: let’s face it you’d probably win but only bc he’d be busy trying to think of ways he could turn the situation into a funny anecdote. watch out tho cause u know he gonna be gettin that black belt someday #ZagOnEm. if u want to fight justin mcelroy and win, ur window of time is getting increasingly smaller. hurry up & do it. fight justin mcelroy.

travis: jesus christ you monster why would you ever even conside

griffin: please, please fight griffin mcelroy. he just wants to feel something. he’s begging u. look into his eyes. he hasn’t slept in weeks. he’s completely numb. let him have this one thing for god’s sake. fight griffin mcelroy.

clint: fighting clint mcelroy? interesting idea. alternate idea: run

slightlied  asked:

hi spooks!! viktuuri high fives for the touch prompts? i just think that's so??? Hilarious??? *morooka voice* and here we have the most romantic lovers to ever grace the ice executing a..............high five

I…might have gone in a slightly different direction with this???? oops. 


Katsuki and Best Friend Coach Victor Nikiforov to remain Coach and Student as Nikiforov Returns to Skating

Nikiforov shocked the skating world when he abruptly retired earlier this year and moved to Japan to coach Katsuki Yuuri. Their hug at the Cup of China made waves in the skating community—showcasing a deep affection between two friends. Two very good friends. Definitely just friends. No one is quite as skeptical of Nikiforov’s decision now that Katsuki’s broken his coach’s record and taken home silver.

At the press conference after the medal ceremony, Nikiforov expressed his desire to return to the ice while remaining Katsuki’s coach…

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“I’m suing them for libel.” Victor would rip the paper in half but he needs to make sure he can still read the columnist’s name so he can savage them over the phone. And television. And Twitter—especially Twitter. “Did they not see my ring?”

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Promise Of Tomorrow

Characters: Reader (Y/N), Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins

Pairing: Jensen x reader (ish)

Warnings: Very dirty thoughts, Drunken confessions, Language, Shameless objectification of Jensen Ackles (and I am not even a little bit sorry!)    

Word count: 1400ish (not a drabble! Dammit Jensen!)

A/N: I blame @blacktithe7 for this! When you send her gifs of Jensen you get comments like: “He went from damn he’s good looking to OH MY GOD TAKE ME NOW!” and “Now I picture Jensen’s lips on my most sensitive spots before riding him like a pogo stick!”

I took both as prompts to do a drabble, but Kari can’t drabble so welcome to this little one shot ;) Oh and I made (she begged) Erin beta this too :D

Also Kari can’t remember so this one shot is 3 months old but never before posted so enjoy y’all.

NO HATE AGAINST DANNEEL. I LOVE HER - THIS IS FICTION. PRETEND SHE IS HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE

LATER EDIT: THIS TURNED INTO A SERIES SO  MASTERLIST

You groaned. You had no idea why you had agreed to come to this party in the first place. Well, Misha and you had stayed close friends after your recurring role as an angel on Supernatural, back when it was still in it’s fourth season.

You had had a thing for the green eyed actor that played Dean Winchester back then too. You just never had the courage to tell him that. Years had passed, and the moment you had walked through the front door you knew that hadn’t changed. Your eyes landed on him standing in the corner of the room chatting with his co-star and tv brother, Jared Padalecki. Your heart practically jumped into your throat when you saw him. He hadn’t aged a day, but he had gotten all the more sexy. His freckles still enhanced his perfect facial features. His shoulders were still broad and his bowed legs perfect for you to fit in between. Not that you ever had, but a girl could dream right.

You shook your head, annoyed with yourself for letting these thoughts re-enter your mind. He was way out of your league, there was no way he would ever look twice at someone like you. Daydreaming of him was only going to end one way. In heartbreak. Yours.    

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