•Jared gets placed in Ravenclaw mainly because of his computer skills and because it’s also a house that holds people who are, well, unique
•Alana is in Slytherin for her determination and ambition, despite wanting to be in Ravenclaw because she’s convinced all the smart people HAVE to be there
•Zoe, tough and independent Zoe Murphy, gets put in Hufflepuff and while everyone else is floored she isn’t the least bit surprised
•Connor gets put in Ravenclaw because again it’s a house that welcomes people who are considered weird or out of the ordinary and we all know Connor has been considered a “freak” by so many people after the second grade printer incident
•And Evan Hansen—the anxious, reserved Evan Hansen—goes to Gryffindor. And everyone goes INSANE. You can even hear Jared from the front of the Ravenclaw table yell “wHAT THE FUCK?” before promptly getting whacked on the head by Connor.
•Alana is absolutely terrified of all the other Slytherins at first because of all the stories she’s heard about Slytherin being a bad house and stuff like that and because of that has trouble settling in
•But then one Slytherin girl befriends her and she realizes that Slytherin isn’t too bad of a house and she starts getting more comfortable with everyone
•Connor and Jared are absolutely pissed to be in the same house and they can’t stand each other and constantly annoy the other Ravenclaws by their bickering
•Jared is a muggleborn
•Alana and the Murphy siblings are pureblood
•Evan is a halfblood
•Evan finds out that the reason why his dad left him and Heidi when he was younger was because it wasn’t safe for a wizard like him to be out in the muggle world anymore and he had to leave Evan with Heidi because it was safer for him to be away from them
•And he has incredible trouble coping with this and actually takes it against his dad for some time before coming to terms with it
•Zoe is surprisingly taken as a beater for Quidditch
•And he would never admit it but Connor comes to watch every game Zoe’s in
•Connor also watches Zoe’s every single move in Quidditch and will literally murder anyone who even just almost hurts her
•Meanwhile Jared’s a Keeper, and he especially likes Quidditch because “the Quaffle looks like a huge bathbomb, what can be more awesome than that?”
•Alana keeps track of the scores and announces what’s going on and actually got paid once by Connor to focus ONLY on Zoe and what’s happening to her during a Hufflepuff vs. Gryffindor match
•Connor was seriously also ready to beat Jared up after he accidentally injured Zoe
•"Connor, it’s just a bruise!!“
“ITS HIS FAULT I’LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM ZOE HE BETTER APOLOGIZE TO YOU OR THAT MOTHERFUCKER WILL HEAR FROM ME”
•During classes, Evan absolutely loves Herbology and is quite obviously the teacher’s favorite as he knows all about any type of magical plant
•Because of this he’s barely afraid of the whomping willow as well
•Which, of course, amazes everyone because the whomping willow is basically like a tree from the depths of hell
•Connor also does incredibly well at Defense Against the Dark Arts and just blows everyone away after acing practically every homework, test, lesson and essay there is to the class
•Alana is a huge Potions nerd, and she loves measuring and computing for all the ingredients needed to make a certain concoction and she always stays up late in the Slytherin common room with that one good friend she has trying to figure out how to do a certain tricky potion
•Jared, meanwhile, amazes everyone at Transfiguration. He even somehow learned how to turn into a mouse within his first year
•However he wasn’t very lucky when Connor transformed into a cat and started chasing him in rat form
•He got injured with claw marks all over his body in human form and had to go to Evan to get some healing herbs applied to his wounds
•"That hurts, Evan.“
“Sorry, just bear with it for a little longer please.”
“It burns like the fires of hell.”
“How do you know what the fires of hell feel like?”
“Hansen, I’m the insanely cool Jared Kleinman. I’ve been through hell and back and still managed to look dashing and I still maintain my awesomeness.”
(More hogwarts au headcanons coming soon, maybe even for other musicals. Submit some to me if you have your own. Also feel free to leave an ask recommending which musical I should make hogwarts aus out of. I’m cool with anything as long as I’m into it)
Not to rain on anyone’s headcanons, but I’ve read some that say Evan would have been in theatre productions in high school and I’m just like ??????? No???????
Evan loves the theatre productions but would be too afraid to audition.
He was in 7th grade when his class took a trip to the high school to see their production of Oklahoma! And Evan had the time of his life. He was in love with the rush of live theatre. He was in love with the fact that he could sit in a room full of people without an ounce of anxiety because he was hidden. No one could see him and he could just take the whole thing in.
Evan was always first one to the doors on show days. He sat right in the front. He was always under the impression that with all those lights in their faces, the actors couldn’t possibly see him. He was free to feel everything he wanted and no one could judge because they were all feeling the same way. His favorite was when they did Wizard of Oz. He thought the trees were really cool.
The actors always gave an extra special performance when they saw Evan in the audience, because it was the only time they ever saw him genuinely happy and engaged, ever.
He began working on set designs in college, and did a couple ensemble parts. Imagine his face when he realized you can see everybody in the audience despite the bright lights.
Alana always auditioned, and the first few times she didn’t get parts, but eventually the director got tired of her coming to him every time the cast list got put up without her name and grilling him on how she could do better, so he started giving her small parts.
Jared saw every musical, but never the plays. He sat in the back and acted indifferent, and always used the “My teacher said I’d get extra credit in my ____ class if I came” excuse when people asked him about it, but he actually loved it just as much as Evan.
Connor saw one play his Freshman year(Brighton Beach Memoirs, he found it funny, but Kate and Jack kind of reminded him too much of his parents), but after he was pushed around by some upper classmen afterwards, he never went back.
Zoe was in the orchestra every year, but her senior year the director convinced her to try out after hearing her singing to herself in the hall one day. She was Hope in Urinetown.
ahhh hello i would like to read more of your tree bros headcanons!! i loved them so much!!!!
HI IM BACK AT IT THIS TIME ITS THE HOLIDAY SEASON BC I MISS WINTER
⁃ road trip back into town to visit family over the holidays = musical blasting, jamming, slushies, and bad puns (mostly from evan)
⁃ heidi telling evan that connor asked for permission to ask to marry evan
⁃ jared just going “that’s gay” before ACTUALLY congratulating them
⁃ cynthia already planning the wedding and baby names
⁃ connor getting all red when she mentions kids
⁃ when evan asks him about it later connor just says how he doesnt think he’d be a good dad and evan had to reassure him that he’d be a great dad
⁃ they talk about this for a while before realizing “wait we’re 19??? let’s stop freaking ourselves out over this”
⁃ evan helping his mom put up the christmas tree while connor sits half asleep on the couch with hot chocolate and a santa hat half hanging off of his head bc evan made everyone get up at the ass crack of dawn to do this
⁃ connor complaining about the abundance of christmas songs being played 24/7 but evan finds him singing them to himself at random moments of the day
⁃ connor getting evan!! a treehouse book!! and also a crystal lamp thing that he explains can “detox the negative ions in the air but like it’s really just bad ass looking and like you don’t even have to use it, it just looked kinda cool and whatever.”
⁃ evan loving it and never turning it off, and maybe it’s in his head but he seems to feel calmer with it on
⁃ evan making connor one of those “happy box” things for when he’s feeling down and evan is busy in class/something & gets him some poetry books to feed his “angsty reading vibe”
⁃ lots of food fights over christmas dinner
⁃ heidi tries to act mad but she’s happy to see her boys so happy
⁃ evan waking connor up before it’s even light out one day to go watch the snow fall from the back porch with their tea and cookies bc soft boys
⁃ cuddling under a blanket as they watch the sun come up and talk about their future
⁃ evan never stops twisting the ring on his finger around until connor slips his hand into evans to keep it warm
⁃ new years party at the kleinman household
⁃ evan having a great time, hanging out with alana as they catch up with schoolwork and what’s going on in their lives
⁃ he gets cut off mid sentence when a large! lanky fellow pushes through the little crowd to give him a kiss when it’s midnight
⁃ alana is totally cool with it because she totally takes a picture of this
⁃ connor just smiles and goes back to find jared after that, leaving evan kinda stunned
⁃ they’re a soft holiday couple
⁃ ugh i love them protect them
- Had an unrequited crush* on Zoe since middle school when she went to her house to work on that science project with Connor (*Zoe totally likes her back, neither of them know how to approach one another about it so they’ve been tip-toeing around the subject the entire time because each thinks that the other doesn’t like them back)
- She wanted to be a dolphin trainer at Sea World when she was 9. Her parents took her to see all the sea animals and she feel in love instantly. They thought she’d be stuck on being a dolphin trainer until she returned home in tears because she learned how they treated all of their animals (She still has a Sea World tee shirt in the back of the Shame Drawer)
- (The aforementioned Shame Drawer includes: the still too-big Sea World shirt, dog-eared chapter books from middle and elementary school, and corny themed Valentine’s Day cards that are years old because she forgot to bring them to school and didn’t want to deal with her parents asking what happened)
- Gets frustrated with texting or emailing Jared. Who even uses XD’ anymore? What is this, deviantart?
- Evan is the one of the only people she hasn’t argued with in a class debate
- When Zoe showed up to school with the indigo streaks she faked a stomachache and went home early because she couldn’t deal with silently screaming the entire day that early in the week
- Eats pizza with a knife and fork. Claims that getting the grease on your hands is disgusting. Still hasn’t figured out what to do when it comes to crusts.
Beth has a fat cat, she adopted him and pays for his therapy to get to his actual weight. Since she works almost all day at NASA back on Earth, she asked Beck to pick him up without knowing he is allergic to cats.
Since he is such a nice boyfriend, he didn’t tell her about his allergy and pick up Piper anyway, no matter he is sneezing all day.
Piper is in love with Beck. Literally. Wherever Chris is, Piper’s gonna be there, Beth thinks it’s adorable.
When she finally knew about his allergy, she tries to keep Piper away from Chris but since it doesn’t work, Chris opted for teaching her how to inject him when necessary.
She gets really well with Martinez’s wife and likes to coock with her, she isn’t that good but she has been learning more with her and she always laughs with the woman. Marissa likes to tease her about how she and Chris are totally married even when they don’t live together yet.
When he finally move in with her, they try to have sexy love making in the couch but Chris’ allergy loled them on it.
Mark crashes their couch a lot. He used to do it on Beck’s but he never felt like telling Beth since he realized it was for Watney’s depression after every session of his therapies for PTSD he aisted.
So Beth gets up every night Mark is there and dares him to win over her in some old fashioned video game.
Also, since Beth doesn’t sleep much, she stays awake talking to Mark and one day, Beck starts spending more and more hours with them in the living room. Next time Mark crashes their place, they have a room for him.
Beth’s mom is kind of an ass and is always asking when is she getting married or having kids, one day Chris gets really mad at her mean way to say things and responded that they are already parents of a fat cat and a depressed astronaut.
Chris is scary when he is mad. He doesn’t even talk or do anything, he just stares at you and that’s it. You are out of game.
He also wears glasses to read and when he starts working in NASA’s private hospital, he wears them more. Beth loves it because she thinks he looks handsome on them. He actually looks like a dork.
After the first months of Chris working at said hospital, Beth hates his work. He works even more than her and when he gets the night guard, she just hates it like crazy.
Yet, she understands this is work and is his decision and they respect each other works.
They have talked about getting married but that’s it. Beth is almost sure she is gonna end up asking him to marry her, why not?
Chris is addicted to extreme sports and he drags Beth with him every time he wants to try something. During the anniversary of them getting to Earth again, the crew see each other for dinner and Beck convinces them to jump in parachutes. Lewis jumps with her husband and Mark wants to kill him, so Beck pushes him and then jumps behind him to help him open the parachute while everyone is laughing. Beth has already done this with him so she took his hand and Mark’s to help him but Watney screams to her to look down, then up and Beck has a small sign asking her to marry him.
It was one of Vogel’s kids idea and Lewis thought it was cute so why not?
It was cute.
So during the best man’s speech, Mark tells everyone about tha time Beck got drunk, singed to the whole bar he was in love with Beth Johansen and then ended with his ass in the ground. Also, that one time he catched the love birds roleplaying in Beck’s office.
They have just one kid and they are iek the happiest family ever.
nina i'm sorry you're having a tough night but i hope it gets better <3 on a side note i saw the martian only a few nights ago and johanbeck are soo cute ^,^ what are some of your favorite headcanons for them?
Thanks, sweetheart! I hope it gets better too *sighs*. And yaaasss, glad you like them <3 Here are some of my favorites:
Beth is a little awkward when it comes to physical affection because she isn’t used to it, but she is so here for it and Chris is so here to give it to her. That’s why she is always like “DON’T TELL ANYONE I DID THAT” “DON’T SAY I SAID THAT” and Chris just smiles, she so cute in his eyes.
She adopted a fat cat, her best friend takes care of him while she is on mission and when she gets back, she can finally take him to therapy to get into his actual weight. Since she started working at NASA as one of the high profiles programmers and technicians, she asked Chris to pick him up; she doesn’t know he is allergic to cats (well, basically to all animals lol) but he is such a sweetheart, he gets Piper anyway and when she finally knows about it, she tried to compensate him with sexy love making in the couch but his allergy liked them out of it.
That happened again when he move in with her. At the end, Chris decided to teach her how to inject him when the allergy goes too far.
And there is a problem: Piper is 100% in love with Chris Beck, in fact, his sister shits on him a lot because she says cats are always following him. Mark tries to prove this theory right by getting a cat himself and observing her around Beck, turns out Mark’s cat also loves Chris and Beth and him are so amazed by this. Meanwhile, Chris is dying of sneezing all day.
They never talked about getting married or have children, these were things that just happened in their path together. The did get married with a big party because a part of Beth always wanted that, while their family life is really normal even with the constant calls form NASA and other government things. At the moment, they have one kid and are considering a second, maybe.
Beck is like the dorkiest dad ever and Beth loves that. She loves it so much she could live of just seeing him play with their child. He makes noises while playing or feeding the baby, he takes long baths with the kid so they can play in the water too, he likes to read to the children and tell stories about all the times he went on missions (remember that the mission on Mars wasn’t his first out Earth mission with NASA :3), and he just have their kid all the time on him.
The can be kinky and they take their time to be, they love to have fun together and to share their hobbies, even when the other isn’t really good in the thing. Beth is okay doing certain high risk sports with Chris and he is really okay playing video games with her, even when he really sucks at it.
As for their bed life, they can be really into roleplay and various sex positions. They have date nights every time in a while, sometimes even once a week. They celebrate important dates together and are really into the other. They laugh a lot on bed, so that makes it even better in their opinion.
They suck at cooking at first, then learned because they didn’t want to rise their kid based on fast food and junk food. Beth is better than Chris on it, that’s because she follows Martinez’s wife recipes like a manual.
Chris admires Beth a lot, he basically worships her and consider her one of the most brilliant minds he has ever met. It also helps that she considers him that too, and they just see the other as total equals, even when they secretly may think the other is just too much to be real.
There are a lot of infographics around which are based on the tube map, and a lot which are based on the periodic table. So I decided to combine the two. Here’s a tube map of the periodic table (see also here for more details) and there’s also a periodic table of the tube map.
Transit Maps says: Science combined with a tube map equals a win in my book! It’s been a long time since high school chemistry for me, but this diagram seems to make pretty good sense, with the “fare zones” and “route lines” accurately depicting the different properties (groups, blocks, periods, etc.) of the periodic table. I especially like the “ River Thames”, which separates gases, liquids and solids – with liquids being “stations” placed in the river. This leads to Mercury – a metal that’s also a liquid at room temperature – getting its own little “lake”, a nice touch indeed.