hay farm

A bakery with betting and bullets

Sorry this is long but I’m on my phone and it won’t let me put a cut in

So you know how in mob/gangster/mafia movies there’s always a business that’s a front for a betting operation and money laundering? Well usually it’s like a pizza shop because let’s stereotype the Italians, but what if it was a bakery run by an adorable little southern boy? Bitty is the mob boss/godfather. Lardo is his consigliere his second in command who makes sure everything is running like it should and she takes care of any problems too small for Bitty to be bothered with and consulting on the big problems. Rans and Holtzy are the Underbosses they direct the capos and soldiers with the orders that are given to them by the boss and the consigliere. Holtzy is great with money so he it the financial advisor and Rans keeps track of the betting business and who owes money. Shitty is a Capo who deals with all of legal issues of the mob. Dex is a Capo that deals with all their computer programming for online bidding and covering the tracks of their phones and tec usage. Nursey is a solider he’s Bitty’s number one con man using his silver tongue to get whatever he wants (he is never allowed to have a gun, he’s too klutzy). Chowder is a solider who is an all purpose worker he carries money to their safe keeper (farmer) code taking hay to the farm. He’s also the fall man for court cases because no jury has ever thought Chris Chow was guilty of anything. Whiskey and Tango are associates or muscle hoping to move through the ranks. Johnson is Bitty’s press informant who keeps him one step ahead. What about Jack you ask? He’s detective Zimmerman tasked with taking down the mafia but it’s hard to convince his higher ups that it’s run by someone who smiles at them every time they go to ask him questions and insists their coffee and pie is on the house for the boys in blue.

As much as I would love to see Hayden Christensen return for episode 8, he’s been living peacefully on his hay farm with his family for like 10 years now and I think we should leave him alone