hawkward gif

8

What it’s like to be a fangirl: my perspective

Fangirling is a gradual process that you don’t realize is happening until it’s too late. It always starts off innocent; you like a show, get invested in a character or characters, then you develop a small crush on an actor/actress, and then before you know it you’re writing fanfics in your head. What distinguishes fangirls from regular fans is an entity that has brought many, many fangirls together in one hub: Tumblr. Just one word and OMG, my fandom NEEDS me! Tumblr starts out just as innocently; one post about the show grows to a thousand, and several reblogs later you’re following over 200 other blogs who post memes because of reasons. Eventually you spiral down to 20,000 likes and your collage of assorted living rooms and getaways transforms into a one stop shop for fangirls to indulge in their OTP’s (one true paring).

To say, “LETS STRETCH, BITCHEEEEESSSS” is a prerequisite to the start of every fangirl moment lest your body be left unprepared for all the feels you will inevitability encounter as you navigate through all your tumblr tracks, especially if you haven’t been on in months.   And in order for a fangirl to survive a life-long battle of exploded ovaries and a million “I can’t even with your face, sir” she needs at least one friend who is equally willing to suffer through a fandom with her. Without this friend the fangirl would surely be lost in a sea of mediocrity to which no amount of Johnlock porn would satisfy.

When she dived in head first into the avengers fandom and things go all kinds of HAWKWARD the fangirl’s best fangirl friend jumped in twirling her Wendystache while shouting “I AM THE BAD GUY.” Feeling like such idiots, but unable to deter from this enabling it becomes a way of life, AND because in the end we all know we were LOKI’D. And when she couldn’t get enough of one OTP the fangirl and her fangirl friend created a whole new set complete with their own intertwined names: Cumberstoned and benedicking; two nouns for the price of a verb. And suddenly, out of this masterful creation that involves all OTP’s in a possible homoerotic bond script written on the back of movie stubs a business venture of a taco van with fandom names was conceived.

It’s important to remember fangirling is an art of shipping all fandom feels into one; it’s not enough to say you’re JUST a Sherlockian, or JUST a Whovian. You can’t say that the bromance between Dean Winchester and Castiel the angel isn’t pulling tightly at your heart strings or that Daryl and that baby from The Walking Dead wasn’t the cutest thing you’ve seen. All of these images we fangirls experience in this little hub combine our love of television with our love of a shared “I’m having a moment” with a dash of “let me love you” and a sprinkle of “what is life?” to become the greatest gifs the world has ever seen.

Ps. never underestimate the power a fangirl has to find shit out; we work hard for our OTP’s.

-Vivian Lazarian