Words: 1039 Pairing: Avengers x Reader (mainly clint and sam) Featuring: Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers Warnings: Swearing, there are s o m a n y p u n s Requested by anon “Reader has the gift of flight (with or without wings, you choose) and hanging out with the Bird Bros! Constant bird puns optional.” Authors Note: you wanted puns, you got puns.
“You think Clint would like these?” You asked Sam as you walked down the random store aisle with him. You went with Clint and Sam to get groceries for the facility, but Clint was the only one who seemed to actually be on task. You and Sam found yourself in the opposite side of the store, making jokes with whatever you found.
Sam nodded, completely serious. “Get them. Are there two more? We all need a matching pair,” Sam said and started to sift through the slippers on the shelf. Yes, the three of you needed matching bird slippers. You have rebranded the “Bird Bros” as the “Bird Buddies” as you were now a member of their all inclusive group since your owl-like-self fit the requirements.
“Why does he put up with us?” You asked Sam as you held the three pairs of slippers.
“I don’t know; I think he secretly finds it entertaining,” Sam offered. “We should probably find him-”
“Put the damn shoes down; we have work to do!” Clint’s voice walked up behind you.
You shot around and gave him a weird look. “I’m joking; these slippers are the best things I have ever seen. Is three enough? Should we get one for every person in the base, or just keep it exclusive?”
Hey. I loved your HATE story! Could you do bucky/reader where he has a daddy kink, and one day her parents come over to the tower to have dinner with them and the avengers, and she says “daddy pass me the salt” or smth, both bucky and her father reaches for it and its awkward as hell or smth. They try to manage it off and once her parents leave, the avengers tease both of them like hell! include pietro, sam, tchalla and basically everyone pls! THANK YOUU! **anonymous**
Warning: hawkward™ af situations, language, mentions of sexual stuff
“Bucky do you have that shirt on yet?” You holler, peeking out of the bathroom with a strand of hair clamped in a curling iron.
Bucky shuffles out of the walk-in closet holding a black tshirt and navy sweater. “Which one was it?”
You sigh, ducking back into the bathroom saying, “The navy blue with the thick bumps on the shoulder.” Bucky makes a sound of understanding and you focus your attention on placing your curled hair in it’s place and using generous amounts of hairspray. You’re working on applying the perfect lipstick to match Bucky’s sweater when said man comes in. He’s got his sweater on with a pair of dark wash jeans and some black boots. “Give me a second and I’ll do your hair,” you mumble, swiping one last coat of the liquid lipstick on. You stand back, double checking that your wings are even and that your eyeshadow is perfectly blended and that your lipstick has clean edges, before grabbing a comb.
“Why are we all so dressed up? I mean, your parents have seen you naked,” Bucky say against your chest as you comb his hair back into a nest bun.
“Babe, I was five when they gave me my first cocktail dress and diamond earrings. My parents have always been the rich snooty type.” When you’re satisfied that Bucky looks good, you tell him to stand. “Good, okay, let’s go make sure everyone else is presentable.” You pull on your formal black cocktail dress, some stockings, and black pumps before checking the time. “Shit,” you hiss, pulling Bucky out of the room and to the dining area. The whole team stands there, looking as formal and snotty as can be, and you smile.
“I hope the food is to your liking,” T'Challa says, “Clint and I may not be the best chefs but-”
“-Tony is a dipshit and let the cooks off early,” Clint interrupts and you sigh in dread before putting on a smile.
“I don’t doubt that it tastes wonderful, thank you. Okay everyone, no cussing, no sighing, no laughing loudly, no talking about weapons or fighting, and never ever bring up Netflix or sweatpants or anything that has to do with wearing less than Ralph Lauren, okay?” Everyone nods and you send Bucky to stand by Steve before turning to the elevator and pressing the button to go down.
“Miss, your parents are waiting for you at the bottom,” FRIDAY informs and you squeeze the bridge of you nose and sigh one last time.
“Thank you,” you say as you wait for the elevator doors to open. They reveal the faces of your parents, standing tall and proud. You smile, stepping forward and air kissing your mother’s cheeks and hugging your father. “Hi ma, hi dad,” you say. Despite how uptight your parents are, they’re your parents and you love them.
“Hello dear,” your father greets, his teeth shining through his perfectly manicured mustache.
“Dinner is waiting, if you’ll step in.” When the three of you get to the rest of the team, greetings are exchanged and everything is going swell. Once every body is settled at the dining table and the dishes are spread open for a help yourself serve style, things get hawkward.
Bucky and your father sit right next to each other, and you hope that they get along, but instead your parents chat with Tony and you about money and stocks, you’re kind of just spectating and throwing in a few comments while staring at Bucky and Sam and Steve whom seem to be having a good time.
You pick at the chicken, deciding it needs some salt. It’s sitting right between Bucky and your father, so you say, “Can you pass me the salt, daddy?” Bucky turns from laughing at Sam (with a lust filled smolder at the use of his kink) at the same time your father turns away from Tony and it’s then that you know you fucked up. Both your father and Bucky reach for the salt, both pausing when they see the other man’s hand. The room goes dead silent as everyone stares. “Shit.”
“Oh, uh, excuse me, sir…I-I thought she said… um, Bucky,” Bucky pulls his hand back and coughs awkwardly. “Sorry, I’ll uh…” You clear your throat, rubbing your arm.
“Uh, it’s getting late,” you say upon seeing the scandalous look on your mother’s face. It’s the look of utter disappointment. Your father just stares at you, eyes wide. You stand, “Well, it was good having you two over, visit again soon,” you rush them into the elevator. As soon as the door is closed you turn around to face the amused Avengers and blushing Bucky.
“Sooo… Daddy kink, huh?” Pietro says, earning chuckles as you sit in your seat.
“Good luck getting out of this one, big boy,” you say, glancing at Bucky before opting to stare at your plate in embarrassment.
“Uh, no no no… I thought she said Bucky and…- Yeah, whatever. I like when (your name) calls me daddy,” Bucky sighs, rubbing a hand down his face and you snort to yourself.
“Well good luck getting me to do so tonight,” you mutter, sending him a glare through your lashes.
“Oh, Daddy!” Tony says, standing up to lean close to Bucky, “Spank me harder! Oh yes, yes!” His voice is falsetto, trying to imitate you.
“Oh, daddy is going to, baby,” Sam joins in, standing up to grab Tony’s shoulders. His voice is deeper than usual, imitating Bucky. You roll you eyes, leaning back in your seat and rubbing your neck.
“Jesus Christ, guys,” you say as the other join in. T'Challa begins cracking some knock knock jokes with the daddy kink theme, Pietro zooms around Bucky repeating daddy over and over again, Sam and Tony continue their gay reenactment of how they imagine you and Bucky to have sex, Nat and Wanda smirk at you mouthing things, Clint is bent over the table and slapping his own ass, Vision is watching in wonder at how so many people can be idiots at once, and even Steve is hovering over your shoulder asking about the daddy kink. He’s morbidly curious.
“Oh, for fucksake!” Bucky stands up. “I happen to know that Nat is a dominatrix, Steve is a sub, Wanda uses her powers, T'Challa does some kinky positions, Pietro uses his speed, Clint likes it semipublic, Tony passes out before he climaxes, and Sam has a bird theme.” Everyone freezes as Bucky blurts out the list of things they like.
“How do you know?” Nat asks suspiciously.
“I’m an assassin and spy… also you guys have loud conversations with each other about it. Or are just sloppy and loud in general.”
“I gOTTA JET!” Tony dashes from the room, the others scattering before leaving. You grin once you and Bucky are alone.
“Let’s go, daddy,” you say, grabbing Bucky’s hand to lead him to your room.
Clint Barton had perfected the art of crawling
through crawl space ventilation of Avengers Building. He survived crawling
above Bucky’s room when the man just arrived and got spooked by Clint. A bullet
scraped his arm but it’s an accomplishment for Clint considering Bucky’s weapon
skill. He also managed to pass by Natasha’s room and escaped the vent system
before her drug killed him. Steve’s was quiet, which was probably why he likes
hiding there even though sometimes he had to hear the old man cry quietly (It
was once and he limited his spying once he saw Cap’s tears). He vowed to never
go through Tony Stark’s and Thor’s room after hearing them with their
significant others. He was a daredevil but even daredevil has his limits.
One of the main reasons why he enjoyed relaxing on
the crawl space above Cap’s place was because Steve liked to bring back
potential addition for the team. Steve was a nice guy who likes making people comfortable
before interviewing them, Clint realized even though he was pretty sure
everyone would be more uncomfortable with that kind of treatment. Clint liked
watching people being interviewed by Cap, which was the very reason why he
always crawled there every Monday right at 10 a.m.
He watched Cap froze on his spot when he arrived
and let out a small sigh. So the man did know he was there, Clint smiled to
“Just, don’t make weird noises when I welcome her,
Barton.” Steve spoke to the ceiling and Clint made a giggling noise, recalling
the few applicants who almost cry when they heard his weird noises.
“You accepted her?” Steve could hear his muffled
voice form the ventilation system and nodded.
“I interviewed her a couple days ago when you were
on a mission.” Steve replied as he walked towards the door to welcome her.
“Hi, Clara. It’s nice to see you again.” Steve shook
her hand and led her inside. Clint may or may have not made a weird gasping
noise when he saw her.
“What is that?” She asked, her eyes wide as she
looked up to the ceiling. Steve let out a loud sigh and covered his face.
“Barton, get down here.” Clint didn’t need to be
told twice, he quickly found a ventilation opening and jumped down.
“Hi.” He sheepishly grinned.
“You’re crawling on the ventilation space.” Clara
raised her eyebrows in amusement.
“Well, I had to see the beautiful newcomer.” Clint
told her, earning a groan from Steve.
“I’m 95 years old and I can do better than that.”
Steve said while watching Clint blushed.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Clint Barton.” Clara
shook his hand before her attention darted towards the room.
“Am I going to live here?” She asked and watched
Steve turned a shade of red.
“No! This is Cap’s. There’s no way you’re going to
live here.” Clint quickly responded, feeling oddly protective of the woman.
“I will get my own place?”
“Yes. There’s an empty quarter next to Clint’s. You
probably will be assigned there.” Steve continued and guided her out of the
room after handing out a small file.
“Hey, Cap.” Clint whispered while Clara was busy
reading the guide from the file. Steve turned his head to Clint with an
“Do you have her number?”
“Ask her yourself, Barton.” Steve hissed back at
him. Clint huffed and followed the two of them back to his floor. Steve gave
her some more instruction and left soon after that.
“So, we’ll be neighbor.” Clara smiled at Clint.
Clint swore he has never seen someone as captivating as her.
“Y-yeah.” He rubbed the back of his head and
awkwardly stood in front of his door.
“So…. I’ll go inside.” She pointed at her own
place. This is getting too awkward, Clint thought.
“Okay. Have a good night.” Clint grinned.
“Cap was right. If you want my number, ask my
yourself.” She winked and quickly closed the door.
“YOU HEARD THAT?” she guffawed at his muffled
“I have super hearing. Pretty sure I can hear you
breath in that ceiling.” She shouted back. Clint had a huge on his face. This
is going to be great, he thought as he entered his own room.