I was at a con recently. And while looking at some of the art, I made a comment to a guy who had a collection of cat avengers prints that he was missing the best avenger. So he goes, ‘oh and who is that’ and I just kinda look sideways at him and say 'hawkeye, the only one you don’t have’. To wich he of course smirks and says 'is he really the best or is it just cause of jeremy renner?’
First of all… Jeremy Renner is a gorgeous human being and he is more than enough reason for Hawkeye to be awesome, so why the hell you got that smug look on your face like I’m just some random ass fangirl who don’t know shit about comics. I was fuckin dressed like Captain Marvel, 100% comic accurate costume thank you very much.
So my dad starts laughing cause he can see I got my 'fight me’ face on. And I proceed to list each and every reason why I have loved Hawkeye since waaaaay before the movies and why he gets even better with new movies and comics.
NUMBER ONE, he is the only fully human Avenger in every single story line.
To which of course I get 'well what about Black Widow’ well sir you must not know your comics very well because in the Earth-616 universe she has the Red Room version of the super soldier serum which gives her enhanced physical abilities as well as a very long lifespan.
Then comes the 'well Scott Lang is human’ well yeah but he’s got a mother FuCkiNG SUPER SUIT. What does Hawkeye have? Spandex or leather, not quite the same thing. And you take away that super suit, is Scott still a super hero? No he is in jail for being a thief. You take away Hawkeye ’ super sui… oh wait that’s right HE DON’T GOT ONE.
'But what about Black Panther he is human right?’ Do you know anything about comics dude? The dude eats a magical plant and is gifted his powers by the Wakandan Panther God and has enhanced speed, strength, agility, healing, reflexes, stamina, etc. NOT FULLY HUMAN he also is proclaimed King of the Dead and is granted the power and knowledge of past Black Panthers and gains the ability to control the dead… so awesome but still not human.
Hawkeye is 100% human 100% of the time (except a very brief moment when he borrowed pym particles just to help out on a mission) and still manages to keep up with super humans, gods and guys with fancy super suits.
NUMBER TWO, he is deaf, canononically.
'Well Daredevil is blind’ his accident enhanced his other senses… and not an Avenger… so your argument is not even relevant.
NUMBER THREE, he shoots a bow, usually a recurve, in battle with people that have magic and laser guns and other shit and he can shoot it with out even looking!
'But he has trick arrows’ wich are guaranteed to be weighted terribly and that weight changes depending on which arrow it is. So he not only has to compensate for the strange weight but he has to do it on the fly in the heat of battle for each individual arrow. Not to mention when he shoots multiple at once.
And come on, have you ever tried to shoot a bow and arrow, it’s not easy. It takes a lot of practice patients and skill. Especially to get as good as him.
NUMBER FOUR, I mean have you read the guys backstory? If you looked up tragic backstory in the dictionary, you would see a picture of Clint Barton. He was orphaned after his abusive father got into a car accident that killed his mother as well. Was sent to a children’s home, ran away to the circus, was trained by Swordsman and Trickshot who were not the best mentors, was betrayed and abandoned by Swordsman and his brother and left for dead, ended up severely injuring his brother, had to leave Trickshot, when he tried to do the hero thing he was mistaken for a criminal, was manipulated into trying to kill Iron Man, kept falling in love with women who didn’t love him back, left the Avengers at one point believing he was unwanted, was passed over because he was not super human, watched his brother die, was forced to leave the Avengers, had a bounty put on his right arm, lost former mentor Trickshot to cancer, split with his wife then watched her die saving him, sacrificed himself and came back, was almost assasinated, went to prison so the rest of his team could go free, was shot and conducted a suicide mission that saved the planet but killed him, lost his memory, was vanished into nothingness, doubted he was himself or even alive, faked his death, and that’s just the short list.
NUMBER FIVE, he ran the West Coast branch of the Avengers, as well as other treams.
NUMBER SIX, he took on the mantle of Captain America for a short time.
NUMBER SEVEN, Caw Caw Mother Fucker.
So yeah, suffice to say that I left the guy speechless surounded by his friends who were nodding along and adding in their own bits of info and laughing hysterically at him. I turned to walk away after that mic drop and heard him mumble, 'well I guess I’m making a cat hawkeye’
Wanna One as (the literal) Avengers (but with a twist)
Captain America but gets distracted in battle because he's petting cats.
The not-so-serious Hawkeye that high-fives Jinyoung everytime he hits something (which is nearly all the time).
Black Widow but constantly gets a wedgie because his suit is too tight and dances while doing one on one combat.
Agent Coulson but always accidentally grabs his guitar instead of his gun as a first reaction. "Jaehwan you can't shoot people with that" Jaehwan: /looks down at guitar/ "oh right my bad".
Thor but pretends his hammer is a baseball bat and tries to hit a homerun during battle.
Spiderman but doesn't know how to crack good jokes. Apologises to the bad guys when he ties them up.
Iron Man but Jarvis speaks in Chinese. Moonwalks while he's in the air and whistles to Troublemaker while he's fighting.
Falcon but says "I believe I can fly" everytime he's about to take off. Screams way too loudly over the intercom when he's in trouble.
Nick Fury but gets embarrassed and shy after shouting orders to the team. Walks around the office in his black suit because he likes to scare people.
Quicksilver but gets motion sickness and has to squat down in a corner and puke from time to time.
The Hulk but shrinks back down to his normal size everytime he gets embarrassed. Still has really good complexion when he turns green.
It’s that spooky time of year again and I made sure to include kitties with MY Halloween costume!
Unfortunately, getting a kitty into a mummy outfit was way more of a struggle than I anticipated. Winry and Brother started accusing me of animal cruelty, so I’d all but given up, but then…this very strange kitty shambled up to me, seemingly attracted to my mummy costume. She let me wrap her right up. Brother, as is his wont started overreacting and poking at her, saying she seemed weird. Then she bit him. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET, BROTHER.
…He’s been acting very strange since then, though. He randomly decided to be a vampire for Halloween. He’s been saying really weird things too like “do I dazzle you?” and something about heroin. What even IS that? I asked Winry and she stared at me for a long time before mumbling something like “how could you have read as many weird books and done as many weird things as you have as you have and still be this naive” which I found pretty rude.
I’ll admit I’m getting a little concerned. Winry is definitely taking it too far though, she won’t get near my poor kitty and keeps calling it mean things like “demon” and “the servant of the undead”. She has even decided to dress as it’s “natural predator” for Halloween to keep it from getting near her. HONESTLY. My kitty companion is such a sweetheart too! I named her Carmilla.
At least the Lieutenant and Colonel are normal. Well, as normal as they ever are. They decided to be a werewolf and zombie for Halloween. The Colonel tried to scare the lieutenant a couple times by hiding places but she just sent Black Hayate to play with him. Now SHE’S giving scaring HIM a shot and has been much more successful. His scream is surprisingly high-pitched.
Meanwhile, I’m not sure why Major Armstrong decided to be Frankenstein, he gets really dejected whenever he actually scares someone. I’m going to suggest he be something cuddly next year instead.
I thought May’s outfit was super cute! It’s from a Xingese fable. But she keeps talking about stuff I don’t remember from that story when acting “in character” like how her dad is never around but at least she has her green dad and she’s really tired of fighting aliens? It’s been a weird holiday.