hawk pun

5

HAWKE: Fenris, talk to me. What happened back at Haven? What was it like?

FENRIS: … 

FENRIS: Everything was… bigger than me.

  • Hawke: *bends down on one knee* Anders... Will you be my apost-mate? *pulls out ring*
  • Anders: ohmy god yes
  • Hawke: apost-great! Let's go get apost-married right now!
  • Anders: Hawke, that doesn't even-
  • Hawke: shhhhhhhh

tfw your gf thinks she’s being funny

fenris: the inquisitor should lock you up for this, hawke.
hawke: no! please don’t put me in the pun-geon
hawke: unless i can bring varric, in which case it becomes the fun-geon
fenris: stop.
hawke: cassandra? if we can get her to flex it’ll be the double-gun-geon
fenris: [walks away]
hawke: looks like you’re getting none-geon tonight then

(i heard it’s fenhawke week)

brightflight  asked:

"Cuthbert, my pard -- what do you call a cat which can get anything it wants?" Hawke asked, grinning. Before he could answer, she crowed, "Purrrrrrrsuasive!"

“That’s an old hat.” He grinned. “My da’ told me he once saw a woman walk away from a shootout in the lower markets with not a drop of blood lost, and all thanks to her attire.” Cuthbert leaned back, arms crossed before his chest, dangling precariously close to a fall on a chair with two legs up in the air. “Said her corset warded off any an’ all bullets, saved her life. Wanna know what she said when he told her, it’s like to be the best corset ever?” 

The chair came down with a thud. 

“Of corset is!” Cuthbert cackled.

its canon that anders loves puns, he’s used to everyone groaning and threatening to murder him, but hawke responds with another pun. and then anders makes another pun. and it just keeps going. but then fenris. fucking fenris, he’s fluent in three languages, and u literally cant top his puns, its some real next level shit. a lot of them work in two or more languages. cant compete.

The first time Hawke knew she was truly in love was when she came home to a gift basket in her entrance

inside was a bottle of bubbly wine from Fenris

it was labeled, “The Champagne of Kirkwall”