as much as I ship them romantically and sexually, I can’t help but absolutely adore the idea of asexual!vetinari and pansexual!margolotta as super close tactile bffs who just really enjoy each others’ company and actively help spread the scandalous rumour that they’re sleeping together because a. it discourages annoying suitors and b. its better for their reputations than admitting that they spend most of their evenings together sprawled on a sofa, drinking expensive wine, playing thud and commiserating over work


Eireni requested some daddy-daughter and - obviously incredibly reluctantly - I acquiesced ;)

Meet Baby - Batty and I got so distracted by coming up with headcanons for her that by the time we got around to deciding on her name, we knew her better as “Baby” - Vetinari’s daughter. On a scale of precious, irritating-as-fuck know-it-all smartass kids between, say, BBC Sherlock and Sheldon Cooper, she’s about an Artemis Fowl. And Vetinari’s a surprisingly good dad.

When she grows up, she has a bad habit of getting herself into deep shit. 99% of the time she’s smart enough to get herself out of it with little or no fuss, but sometimes daddy has help out. 

ofcowardiceandkings  asked:

Margolotta/Havelock, in which they are modern british politicians... *boring*

Margolotta flops down into the armchair, kicking her feet up to send her expensive black kitten heels sailing in high arcs across the living room. She feels warm breath against the back of her neck, the touch of his fingers, tugging off her blazer to dig into the tense muscles of her delicate shoulders, and she relaxes into the careful kneading with a weary huff.

“I spent the whole day with Boris Johnson.” she growls between gritted teeth. 

His cheek brushes hers as he leans forwards to whisper with the air of someone triumphant yet pained, “Ed. Miliband.”

“Alright, fine,” she manages between gasps of laughter, a few moments later, “You win.”

Based on a throwaway line from Unseen Academicals which just seemed to stand out far too much to be throwaway. Vetinari’s never shown any real interest in romance at all. Why does he suddenly point it out there? Either he is trying to troll Margolotta further, or…something like this?

You know you have an awesome OTP when Havelock Vetinari is the soppy one of the couple.

lady margolotta in a big chunky knit pink cardigan that goes down to her knees with sleeves that she has to roll up because they’re slightly too long for her

lady margolotta in cute pink check flannel pjs and fluffy socks because wow draughty castles are chilly and coffins aren’t all that warm

lady margolotta in a thin classy pink cardigan with white lace cuffs

lady margolotta in a huge pink hogswatch jumper with bats all over that was knitted by a lady from the village that she pretends to hate but actually adores because its super cosy 

lady margolotta in a sleek pink ballgown with strategic ruffles and a corset and tiny pink bat clips hidden in her hair

lady margolotta in a delicate fitted pink blazer with a silver bat brooch

lady margolotta in bright pink and black lingerie with little frilly bits

lady margolotta in a pink flower pattern fifties-style dress with gorgeous heels and oh oh maybe even a fab handbag too to keep her cigarettes in

lady margolotta in a man’s shirt that absolutely does not have an assassin’s guild crest on it that went rather pink because igor got the whites mixed up with the colours when he did the washing


anonymous asked:

Vetinari/Von uberwald - the middle ages.

The Lady shifted on the throne, slipping one leg delicately over the other, rearranging the folds of her long intricately decorated dress, and propping her chin up on a hand.

“And vhy exactly should I let you stay in my castle, assassin? Oh, don’t look at me like zhat, I am not stupid - Mad Lord Snapcase died two weeks ago and I’ve counted at least tvelve blades on your person - I know a killer vhen I see vun.”

The handsome young man knelt at her feet looked up at her, piercing blue eyes through long lashes, and said quite calmly, “Because I can name seven people in this room that are currently plotting to murder you and how they intend to do it.”

Margolotta leant forwards so that their noses were almost touching, “I know of eight.” She whispered. And then she kissed him.

imagine if you will, a discworld Suits au (sort of) - vetinari does a summer internship with margolotta’s highly successful law firm in uberwald. they spark off each other, intellectually impress each other, and have a frickton of ~ tension ~ but nothing happens between them because vetinari’s only a kid and margolotta’s, well, his boss, so at the end of the summer he leaves to go back to his city

years later, margolotta hears about this new law firm springing up, taking on bigger and bigger cases, with the reputation of having never lost a single one. and who’s spearheading it? vetinari of course, albeit a little older with a slightly more expensive suit and goatee’d now. margolotta visits ankh-morpork for a case and they have dinner, only to find five years hasn’t dissipated the tension at all.

are they now doomed to be rivals, or can they be allies?? has vetinari just stolen all of margolotta’s trade secrets to use himself, or did she gain as much from their dalliance as he did?? are they in love, or sleeping together, or both, or just platonic affectionate frenemies that enjoy a good snuggle and a crossword?? was this whole au post just an excuse to get you to imagine them in expensive formalwear walking in slow-mo to the tune of “greenback boogie”??


madam-du-batty  asked:

Havelotta Cat AU please, you awesome thing

It took a little getting used to, the whole tail and fur thing. Not being able to talk - well that wasn’t such an issue; if words were the only way you could get people to do what you wanted then you couldn’t possibly be an effective ruler. She’d long mastered the art of control, and controlling others.

Though it was rather more difficult when you were about a foot tall and fluffy. 

Still, cats had managed to keep the human population under their thumb for centuries through an impressive combination of emotional manipulation and simple threat, so she wasn’t unduly concerned. It could have been far worse.

Her gaze flicked over towards the sleek black feline casually examining the paperwork helpfully fanned out over the desk, extending a paw to sweep one document into a pile then moving on to the next. He felt her eyes upon him and responded with a flick of his tail that she had come to learn meant amusement.

Yes, it could be a lot worse. At least she had company…

Here I am waiting, I’ll have to leave soon,

Why am I holding on?

We knew this day would come, we knew it all along,

How did it come so fast?

This is our last night,

But its late and I’m trying not to sleep,

‘Cause I know when I wake

I will have to slip away.

Here I am staring at your perfection,

In my arms, so beautiful,

The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out,

Somebody slow it down.

This is way too hard 'cause I know,

When the sun comes up I will leave,

This is my last glance that will soon be memory.

“Daylight”, Maroon 5

Here have some Sneer!HavvieMargo feels

You’re welcome.