having-diarrhea

Do you make $40,000 a year? Do you feel like you work pretty hard to make what you do? Well the average CEO of a top-ranked company makes your yearly income in less than a single day. If a CEO decides to take a day to do nothing but jerk off and binge watch Fox News, they will earn the equivalent of an entire year of your hard work.

And you know what’s even sadder than that? If you’re making $40,000 a year, then you’re making almost FOUR TIMES what it takes to be considered above the poverty line in the United States. If a CEO is having a particularly diarrhea-rific afternoon, he can make that amount while taking his daily shits. Throughout the day, in the time it takes for one (average!) CEO to unzip his $1,000 business pants, sit on his ivory toilet seat, take a diamond-encrusted crap, and wipe his ass with Louis Vuitton toilet paper, he’ll have earned an entire year’s salary for someone at the poverty line.

Add to that the fact that if you’re at the poverty line in the United States, you’re still richer than almost 85% of the rest of the world. Your income is more than 8 times the global average. Roughly 2.5 billion people in the world survive off less than $2 per day. These 2.5 billion people, one third of the world’s population, earn $730 per year, tops. The average CEO will earn that every 5 minutes.

The state of income inequality in the world is fundamentally immoral and absurd.

while tryna figure out how to make art fun again (turns out that you can’t lol) i cant stop thinking about blonde wyatt + how a lot of words that come out of griffin mcelroy’s mouth sound like things she would say

(ths bit is from the very opening of ep 150 of mbmbam, after the song intro)

my dad filled out a job application for me without telling me for a grocery store bc i guess he’s sick of seeing me wander around the house all summer so i get an interview that the manager is 15 mins late for and in the middle of it this mom comes in crying because her son didn’t get a job and she says it’s because he has autism and then a different grown ass woman decides to have explosive diarrhea as she was checking out and ran out of the store horrified leaving a trail behind her and one of the employees watched it over and over again on the security tape. i got the job

Starting zoloft is like:

- stare numbly at this spot for 5 minutes!

- what are words? i was halfway through my sentence and now i can’t remember what i was going to say

- i’m hungry

- whoops took one bite of food and now i’m nauseous

- goddamnit now i have diarrhea 

- i’m soooo tiiiiiiirrreed

- but i also can’t sleep

- like wtf

- my coordination went out the window and now i can’t walk straight

- my pupils are fucking huge

- not depressed anymore

- but now i dont’t feel much of anything???

- the brain-to-mouth filter is gone and now i say weird shit

- plus many other weird side effects

anonymous asked:

My dream dog is a Newfoundlander, and I have a responsible breeder already picked out for when I have a big enough yard and a steady job, but I'm finding it hard to find much info on them. Opinions?

They are a relatively rare breed owing to their size, fur and drool, but I have known a few of them over the years.

These dogs are just… messy.

(Image Source)

They are big they seriously shed and they drool like a running tap, which essentially sticks that shed hair to every available surface like glue. This is a breed so fundamentally unsuitable for my personal lifestyle that I swiftly change the topic every time the boyfriend brings up that he wants one. Speaking of changing topics, lets look at them from a medical standpoint. You may want to make yourself a cup of tea, this will be a long post.

Hips are a major issue with this breed. The Orthopedic Foundation for Animals ranks their hips, as a breed, as worse than the notorious German Shepherd. Worse again, symptoms of hip dysplasia are often aggravated by the increased size or weight of the animal, and this breeds is one of the largest ones. This causes pain and suffering. 25% of them are estimated to have dysplastic hips, with only 8% estimated to have ‘good’ hips.

Elbows are another weakness for this giant breed. Again around 20-25% of these dogs are estimated to be afflicted with elbow dysplasia. Some unfortunate individuals with have both elbow and hip dysplasia, leaving them without a good leg to stand on. Problems often develop by18 months of age, and will cause pain for the dog for the rest of its life.

Tears of the cranial cruciate ligament are also fairly common, due to sheer size and probably other orthopedic dodginess. If not treated surgically this will cause severe lameness and arthritis in the joint.

By the way, if you were wondering about the costs of these surgeries to patch up a Newfoundland skeleton, you’ll probably spend $2.5-3k on the dysplastic elbows, $2.5-3.5k per cruciate tear, and between $1.4k and $7k each side for the dysplasitc hips, depending whether they are diagnosed young, or so late that only a total hip replacement will help. Just so you know.

The consequences of leaving these conditions untreated is arthritis far sooner in the dog’s life than is fair. Some dogs will be unable to walk without daily medication from 4 years of age. Many will be put to sleep simply because their  mobility has become so impaired that they can no longer to doggy things.

Do you need a break? Because we’re not even halfway through yet.

Originally posted by sternenpalast

Personally, I have a thing against bad eyes. I can’t stand eyes that look painful, it gives me the heebie-jeebies. These poor dogs, as you probably have guessed, are prone to multiple eye conditions.

While they do get cataracts, 3rd eyelid gland prolapse and ectropion, the biggest one that concerns me is entropion. This means that the eyelids rolls inwards towards the eye. This means that instead of lovely, soft, moist conjunctiva touching the eyeball, you have prickly eyelashes or haired skin. These prickly hairs rub against the eyeball, constantly, and will cause pain, inflammation, corneal ulcers and secondary effects of healing them.

That’s just constant irritation and pain. It requires surgery to fix, again.

They also get subaortic stenosis (SAS) far too frequently.This heart condition is congenital, it’s present at birth but is often not apparent until 4+ months of age, just long enough to get that puppy well loved in a new home. While it can be managed with medication or heart surgery, only 25% of affected dogs live for more than 4 years. It can cause fainting and sudden death.

(Thanks Richard for picture)

That’s not a great disease to have running through the breed. If they don’t succumb to that heart disease young, they may also get dilated cardiomyopathy when they’re older. You know, because one heart disease wasn’t enough.

Also located under that shaggy mess of drool covered fur is another genetic disorder that can cause them to excrete cystine into their urine, resulting in urinary crystals or great big bladder stones that may require more surgery.

And of course these big, deep cheted dogs are a classic breed that gets Gastric Dilatation Volvulus (GDV aka Bloat) which can happen without warning, leaving you with a choice of either major, expensive surgery or euthanasia.

Working towards the outside of this giant breed, their thick fur might look cute, it it takes maintenance. Prepare for everything you own to be liberally coated in dog hair.

They are also profuse droolers. Their flappy jowls produce some of the most drooly dogs I’ve been, often soaking their own chest fur.

Which brings me back to Hot Spots, (aka moist dermatitis). Persistently wet skin, especially on a thick coated breed that loves water like the newfoundland, A hot spot can be huge and they spread rapidly, sometimes affecting the whole neck. Because these dogs often have some degree of skin folding there, that makes the problem even worse. The same issue happens at the other end if they have diarrhea. And being in Australia, in Summer, when more people than usual take their dogs swimming, there is also a high risk of flystrike in that constantly wet fur with infected skin. Don’t think about that too much.

These dogs are far from being an ‘easy keeper’ and in my experience the estimates lifespan of 10-12 years that one often sees on the internet s a bit optimistic. I do know people who are addicted to this breed and just can’t live without one, but it’s important to know what you’re getting into and I would strongly recommend looking into pet insurance for this breed.

The hours spent writing this blog are supported by Dr Ferox’s Patreon. From as little as $1 a month you too can show your support and choose future topics for the blog.

Date #7 (M)

Author’s Note: Recently, I’ve been struggling with my writing and each time I read a scenario from these awesome writers on here, I go, “damn, why do I even bother” because let’s be real, I’ll just be one less shitty writer that stops writing because she sucks socks. Writer’s block hit me real bad and I considered looking for another thing to love like, sports or something lol. 

Which is why I’m dedicating this scenario to Rys @optosomnio (surprise ayy) who’s been really encouraging and sent me a bunch of prompt/quote blogs to help me get over the problem. And I got my muse back mostly because of the countless prompts and quotes I went through and this scenario happened. Also ily rys <3


Jeon Jungkook. 4 641 words. Fluff + M for implied smut.

❝ Tired of waking up in strangers’ bed every morning or leaving at an ungodly hour to wonder the streets, Jungkook comes to you with an irresistible proposition; “So date me. I can make you forget about Taehyung and you can help me understand what it’s like to be in a committed relationship for once ─seven dates, just seven dates.”❞


You’re not quite sure why, when Jungkook, clad in black skinny jeans, denim jacket over plain white t-shirt that does a generous amount of justice to his chiseled chest and side parted dark locks that makes him more attractive in your eyes, approaches you with a smile that oozes confidence, borderline smugness and emanates the sweet scent of trouble ─a surge of warmth sweeps through you and makes home in every crevice of your heart, definitely lacking the usual eye roll or inquisitive, faux ignorant, arch of brow.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” He whispers from next to you, voice so velvety, brushing your skin like divine satin.

“First off, no pet names. Second off, I must be crazy for agreeing to this, Jeon Jungkook what have you done to me?” You sigh, exasperated.

Keep reading

fun things you get to experience when you have diabetes
  • getting to stab yourself with needles all the time for fun! except not for fun, but to keep you alive
  • that one oral med you’re on? yeah sometimes it’s just gonna give you diarrhea lol have fun figuring out when
  • your whole body being hot and cold at the same time. like you’re cold, but you’re overheated and you want to take your shirt off but if you do you get massive chills and there’s no winning
  • walking up the stairs when your sugar is high? more like you’ve never done squats that burn this much
  • really bad circulation in your extremities. like your torso is hot but your toes are fucking freezing as hell.
  • being told that your kidney function is “thankfully still okay” or that “you don’t have retinopathy yet
  • stumbling to the kitchen in the middle of the night and having to decide which food will work best to treat a low when your brain doesn’t work and your body doesn’t work and if you don’t pick fast enough you’ll pass out and maybe die
  • going to bed in range and waking up feeling like hell on earth
  • dealing with shit like this:
  • and this
  • having to force yourself to drink water when you’re really really nauseated and want to throw up everything in your stomach. nausea so bad water makes you want to puke
  • ppl telling you it takes 15 minutes to recover from a low when it’s more like 2 hours before you feel like your previous self (and recovery from a really bad high takes like 3 days)
  • an achey body for no good reason
  • friends being like “we should work out together” but you’re like “how tf do I manage my blood sugar while I’m doing that”
  • having to push through and still go to work/school when you feel like shit
  • things that hurt. those pump sites and injections that feel like you’ve been stabbed. your body begging you to feed it. your eyes. your muscles. your head. your stomach. your lungs. everything hurts.
  • having to hear diabetes jokes “lol it was so sweet it gave me diabetes” “omg it’s like a big bowl of diabetes” SHUT THE FUCK UP THATS NOT HOW DIABETES WORKS YOU PIECE OF SHIT but having to hear it and stay calm
  • losing the ability to tell when you’re low so lol you’re in the 30’s and you only just realized
  • having to stop having fun or hanging out with people or having to go home because you’re out of insulin or strips or needles or your site fill out. and by extension, never really being able to do something spontaneous because you always have to think how will i manage the sugaz when I do
  • always worrying about food. where it’ll come from, how to count it, where you can get some of you suddenly drop. food is your biological imperative. if you can’t answer those questions you’re this much closer to dying.
  • you don’t even know who you are without this disease. you know it’s not everything about you but it consumes you. literally. it eats away at your body, eats away at how long you have left to live.
  • having to deal with the monetary cost. like, pay or die? what kind of life is that?
  • never getting to take a break from the ridiculously difficult task of keeping yourself alive.
boyfriend!jackson

Originally posted by wangmins

  • wee woo wee woo weE WOO WE OE EW
  • for this request, the rest will come when they do
  • i really love jackson and i really love the idea of boyfriend jackson so this… this was honestly coming sooner or later
  • i think if anyone in got7 were to get/have a girlfriend while in the group i think it’d be jackson
  • i mean he’s a social dude so he comes across a lot of different people all the time, is constantly making friends and i mean come on, look at him
  • he’s gawjus
  • but back to the point at hand!!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

tonight it went down to -40° and my dad had no heat on in his room and he has the only working toilet in the house and it was literally so cold in there i thought i would get frostbite and it's 1:15 AM on a school night and i'm gonna have diarrhea so i take a bucket into my room and let a torrent of liquid shit flow from my ass while aimlessly scrolling this blog for god knows how long but it's 2 AM now and this is probably the most surreal thing i've ever done. i'm not even sure how i got here.

a riveting story from start to finish 

Hoseok Scenario: Rather Mysterious.

Request: Hi 😋 so I was hoping for a Hobi scenario 🙈  where he hears y/n talking with her BFF and he hears something about how she likes guys that are serious and kind of mysterious (but he didn’t know she was talking about anime guys) Then Hoseok starts acting serious and all that for y/n to like him more. P.S: I love your writing so much 😍

Genre: Fluff / Comedy.


Hoseok couldn’t decide if he had arrived at the best or at the worst time. 

You were in your house enjoying a night with friends, and him, Hoseok didn’t mind being around you girls, he’d usually laugh his ass off at your occurrences or exactly the other way around, it was good for you as a couple to be able to feel so comfortable with each other’s friends since some times it was you coming to his house to have a great time with him and the guys, and he knew those troublemakers liked you as much as your friends liked him. So you were in a well build ground on the friends department. 

He liked that, he liked to think that was one of the things that made your relationship so strong and then he heard the voice of your best friend talking and it was like betrayal.

-Come on Y/N, you don’t like them like Hoseok-

He had trusted her, he had given her his good will and showed her his jokes, for what? Was she getting into your head just like that? And how dared her, and you to speak like that so freely? He could go in at any minute. He had just gotten away to go to the bathroom and make a quick call to the manager and when he came back he started to hear this.

Hoseok hid himself against the wall feeling his heart beating faster, he was eavesdropping on your conversation, but then you were talking about him somehow, so he had the right to know.

You laughed making Hoseok frown, you found that funny?

-No I don’t, Hoseok is a different deal-

A different deal? So what? He was like some kind of exception? Hoseok had always thought he was your ideal type, the man you had waited for your whole life, not an exception.

-So how do you really like them Y/N?- your friend continued with that mischievous tone girls used with each other. 

-Well, let’s see…- you started with the same tone. Hoseok usually found it endearing when he heard you like that, but now it was making him annoyed. What was so fun about this? Talking and thinking about other guys, your ideal type. 

Even without wanting it Hoseok tuned in his ears to hear better what you’d say next.

-I like them like… mysterious you know? That type of guy who is a bit aloof and you don’t exactly know what he’s thinking, I don’t know, I think mysterious would be the best way to describe it-

Hoseok gasped under his breath, outraged. If he was sure about something in life was that he was everything but mysterious. And to you he was like an open book, he had really thought you liked that, but hearing this now made him think he had been wrong all this time.

Your friends laughed and you laughed with them, Hoseok’s frown deepened.
He truly liked you, he loved you. And he didn’t want you to bore of him, so he thought about his odds and nodded with determination, if you wanted mystery then mystery you’d get.

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Armin's Titan

I think that we should wait before jumping to a conclusion that Armin’s Titan is colossal. The image we were given in this chapter is probably just Zeke’s imagination.

Things like that aren’t unusual in SnK. For example, when Nanaba was talking in ch35 how Wall Rose was breached, we got her imagination of that:

Of course, Wall Rose wasn’t breached, so her imagination was inaccurate.

Zeke’s opinion isn’t fact. All he knows is that the ships that the Marley had sent disappeared, and everything else are his assumptions. He probably thinks that if the wall people knew about Titan succession, they would choose a colossal size Titan for the person who’ll eat Bertolt, because his ability is most suited for the Titan of that size.


It seems that Marley named their Titans by their most recognizable trait, which is the same as how the wall people named them.

The Colossal Titan:

Being colossal isn’t a ‘special ability’ since there are millions of Colossal Titans in the walls. Special ability that Bertolt had was either the ability to make his Titan disappear in an instant, or the ability to use steam, or both. And that ability is most suited for tall/big Titans, so Marley probably always used a colossal size titan for this ability which is why they named it “The Colossal Titan”.

The Female Titan:

Certainly if Armin ate Annie, he wouldn’t become the FT, right? Annie’s special ability isn’t being female, it’s either her scream, or her crystallization, or both. But maybe only the females are able to draw that power to its full potential, so every predecessor of that Titan was female as well, which is why Marley gave her that name.

The Cart Titan:

Of course, special ability of the Cart Titan isn’t to carry stuff, it appears that it’s special ability is to stay in the titan form for a long time, which is perfect for carrying cargo, so Marley always used this titan for carrying weapons/soldiers in wars, and they named it “The Cart Titan”. Erwin called it “The Quadrupedal Titan”:

The Beast Titan:

The BT’s special ability is probably to take a form of some animal, like that horse titan from ch86 having an explosive diarrhea (or maybe that’s just his tail):

So the Marley named it the Beast Titan. While the wall people didn’t recognize the animal cause they’ve never seen a monkey in their life, so they named him the Beast Titan as well.

The Armored Titan:

This one is easy, he’s the only titan with armor, and that’s also his special ability, so obviously he’s gonna be named the Armored Titan.

The Jaw Titan:

The most recognizable trait is his strong jaw, which is I guess his special ability as well.

The Attack Titan and the Progenitor Titan:

They were never in Marley’s possession, so the name doesn’t originate from them.


Size of the Titan is decided with the serum:

On the bottle that was used for Armin’s serum, it said “Normal Titan”. The question is whether the size of the Titan can be changed after eating another shifter, and would that work only in one direction (eating someone taller), or in both directions, so if a 15m mindless Titan eats a 5m Titan-shifter, his size reduces to 5m.

Ymir’s Titan remained the same size after eating Marcel, so did Frieda’s after eating Uri. The only one that seemed to have changed a bit is Eren’s after eating Grisha, but there’s also the fact that Eren was only 10yo, he was very small and weak back than, and we only have 1-2 panels of his mindless Titan form from Grisha’s perspective, so it’s hard to determine his height.

Everything can be explained easily if Armin’s Titan remained the same, while stuff get more complicated if his Titan changed its size, so I’m still on the side that thinks that Armin isn’t gonna be colossal.

Zach Werenski - Childhood Crush

anon request: Can you make a Zach Werenski one. Maybe about him taking that puck to the face during the playoff game. And can it be really cute and fluffy

@faithmikami requested: Hi there! I was wondering if you could write an image where a girl is dating Zach Werenski and attends the third playoff game against PIT. She’s in the crowd and sees him get injured and is allowed to go to the locker room to see how he is. Thanks! :)

anon request: can i have a zach werenski imagine about his injury and you going to the next game to watch and then coming home and taking care of him/cuddling him

anon request: Can you do a Zach werenski imagine please? Maybe about the injury if you need inspo :)

anon request: Can you do an imagine about Zach Werenski? Maybe like being in the crowd as he got hit kind of thing? Thank you!!!

an imagine about zach werenski’s injury was a very requested imagine and i still have more requests about this. i do love zach werenski though so i have no problem writing these!! XD i decided to put a cute little twist to it so i hope you like it

requests are open:))

Originally posted by werenskiz

“yes y/n zach would love if you came and visited us here in colombus!” mrs.werenski gushed into the phone. for me it was just hitting the end of exam time and for my best friend zach it was the beginning of playoffs. well soon to be the third game.

“i don’t know mrs.werenski, i want to but i have so much to do” i babbled on about why i shouldn’t go. “y/n zach hasn’t seen you in forever, he would love it if you came to watch” that’s where she had me. i haven’t seen zach in so long. i used to always watch him play hockey at the joe, he truly was a talented player.

zach and i were always best friends, the dynamic duo. i was always by his side and he was always by mine. he supported me in my hockey and i always supported him in his hockey, even till this very day. throughout the years i manages to develop feelings for zach that a best friend shouldn’t feel and i’ve tried pushing them away but they always pop back up. he’s never really shown an interest but maybe i just never looked.

“fine” i fake sighed but was quickly followed by a overly girlish squeal. “i’m so excited too see him!” i laughed to his mother. “trust me y/n, he’s gonna be happy to see you too!” she joined in on my laughing. “when should i book my flight?” i asked. “oh don’t worry about that hun, we have it all covered. ill send you an email and print the ticket that’s in it, and there is your flight” she explained.

i could hear the loud sound of zach from the other side of the phone, “zachs coming but ill see you soon!” she said in a hushed tone and hung up. i smiled before putting my phone down and quickly opening up my email. the flight leaves tomorrow at 9:00am. oh boy. it was already 6:30pm and i haven’t even started packing.

Keep reading

Draco x Reader

Requested by @thestrawberryblondehobbitbatch

You’re walking down the hallway with your textbooks cradled to your chest and your gaze on the tiles beneath your feet. A nasally laugh causes the breath to freeze in your lungs. Before you can even look at the owner of the sound, your textbooks are slapped from your arms and strewn across the ground. Your anxious eyes meet the cold ones that belong to Pansy Parkinson. She has two girls flanking her. All three have the same haughty expression worn on their faces. 


You swallow nervously as you pick up your textbooks. One of Pansy’s sidekicks sweeps her foot out and launches it across the hallway. You shakily step over to the far wall and bend down to retrieve it. The other sidekick is desperate to prove herself as she steps over to you and pushes you over in your half-bent state. You fall to the ground and the books that you’ve already retrieved fall to the floor once again. Pansy cackles and begins to walk away. Her sidekicks take the que and follow her with hollow laughs echoing throughout the corridor.
You had never done anything to those girls yet they are cruel to you often. You don’t understand where their motivation comes from, but the source is limitless. Their humiliation has varied from casual shoves and glares to calling you detestable names in front of large crowds. Once they had even stuck gum in your hair resulting in you having to cut a large portion of hair from your head. You cannot fathom a reason that these girls think it okay to be this merciless to another human being. You’re getting sick of their mental torture. Soon, they’re going to have a rude awakening.

You walk into the Great Hall alone the next morning. As your face is seen, most of the Great Hall erupts into laughter and begin to snicker to one another. A flame spreads across your cheeks. You have no idea what’s going on, but it’s obviously directed at you. 


You sit down at your table quickly. Your eyes dart around the students surrounding you. Most students are behind newspapers, which is odd. These kids don’t read the newspaper. You look at the next table over and catch sight of what has enamored everyone’s attention. 


Printed largely inside of the newspaper, as if it is a poster, is a picture of you posing provocatively. The worst part is that the only thing you were wearing is the seductive smirk on your lips. You know that this picture is not real, but the rest of Hogwarts does not. 


You choke on your own saliva as you twist to see everyone with these pictures and have their gazes turned on you.


Why doesn’t the Earth swallow you whole when you want it to? You think as you sprint from the room.


Hearty laughter echoes after your retreat. You run throughout Hogwarts with tear-filled vision. You turn into Moaning Myrtle’s laboratories.

 
“Hello Y/N,” she calls miserably. 


Your reply is choked sobbing. She looks at you sympathetically.


“Are those wretched girls giving you a hard time again?”


You nod your head yes as you wipe your tears on your robe sleeves. She sighs mournfully.


“I understand what you’re going through. The only regret that I have is that I didn’t stand up to my bullies before I died. But now I have eternity to regret that.” 


She sighs again before shooting herself into an open toilet. You stare at your tear-stained face in the mirror as contemplate what Myrtle had said. You jump when someone begins to knock on the bathroom door. You panic, thinking it was Pansy or the other girls trying to deepen the wound, but slightly calm down a bit when a male voice is heard.


“Y/N, are you in there?”


You stay quiet, hoping that he’ll go away, whoever he is. A sigh is heard.


“Okay, let’s try this again. Y/N, I know that you’re in there. Do you mind if I come in?” 


“Go away! I have diarrhea!”


You step over to a toilet and flush it to emphasize your statement. 


“Y/N, I’m not daft. I’m coming in.”


You pull your wand from your pocket as a guy steps through the door. Your mouth falls open slightly as you realize that it’s the notorious Draco Malfoy. He raises an eyebrow at you.


“You’ll raise your wand to the guy seeing if you’re okay, but not to the girls that spread your pornographic pictures across Hogwarts?”


You blush and lower your wand although you keep it in your hand just in case.
“I’m fine. You can leave now.”


“I’ve seen the picture. I know you’re fine. I just wanted to know whether you wanted any help.”


You flush at the brash compliment.


“Help with what?”


“With growing a spine when it comes to Parkinson. I don’t know what you did to antagonize her-“


“I didn’t antagonize her! Me being alive antagonized her!”


He pauses.


“Oh, it’s that situation. I see.”


You raise an eyebrow.


“‘That situation?’” you repeat.


“Yes.” He begins to pace as he speaks. “She sees you as weak, as inferior. That obviously isn’t true, but that’s her thoughts. She’s toying with you. She messes with you to prove to herself that she’s better than you.”

 
You raise your arms in exasperation.


“And how do I change that?”


He pauses mid-step and turns to you with a smile on his face.


“You prove her wrong.”


For the next few weeks, you two meet often. He coaches you on most Slytherin’s weaknesses and how to prey on them. He shows you how to be ruthless with your words. He also becomes a friend, and very quickly at that considering the circumstances. 


You plop yourself into a bean bag that has been Transfigured from a library book. 


“I can’t believe I’m actually going to do it later.”


He grins from his slouched position on the bean bag next to you. 


“I know. I’ve taught you well.”


“You’ve taught me how to be a ruthless asshole.”


He raises an eyebrow.


“And your point is?”


You laugh at him.


“That’s not a great friendship skill to have.”


“What if friendship isn’t what I’m aiming for?”


“Excuse me?”


His grin reappears although there’s an anxious edge to it. 


“C’mon Y/N, don’t act so surprised. I saw this beautiful boy/girl being abused by this bitch that I’m ‘friends’ with and I go behind her back to train you in the ways of being heartless so that you may conquer your problem. If you haven’t noticed, Slytherins don’t turn on each other unless it’s a damn good reason. You’re a damn good reason.”


You stare at him for a long moment.


“I’m not sure what you want me to say,” you admit.


He laughs and his Adam’s apple bobs nervously as he does so. 


“Well, you have two options. You can reject me or admit that you like me as well.”


A smile creeps onto your face as you lean in slightly and lock eyes with his mercury ones.


“How about this: if I survive this confrontation, I’ll confess my undying love to you. Deal?”


He nods slightly and closes his eyes. You lean in and kiss the tip of his nose. He opens his eyes and smiles.


“Then let’s get this over with, yeah?”


You return the smile and stand up. He stands up as well and follows you into the hallway. As you planned, the corridor is crowded because it is dinner hour. As your heart threatened to pound out of your ribcage, you scan the crowd. Towards the middle, you spot the one you want.


“Yo Parkinson!” you call.


Everyone pauses mid-step and crane their neck to gaze at you. Pansy turns to see who dared yell her name out in such a manner. Her eyes light up and a sinister grin upturn her lips when she spots you. The crowd splits as she stalks towards you.


“L/N, this is a-“


You hold up a hand to interrupt her. Surprisingly, she takes the hint.


“I will keep this message brief because I dislike speaking with you. It feels ridiculous, like conversing with a toad or a common earthworm.” 


She looks at you in disbelief.


“Excuse me? Who do you-“


You hold up your hand again and fix her with a steely glare.


“I would keep quiet if you want to keep your teeth.”


She opens her mouth as if to say something, yet when you raise an eyebrow, it closes. You could hear a quill drop on the floor above because everyone is dead silent to attempt to hear what’s going to be said. You lock eyes with your tormentor for the past several years.


“I want you to listen carefully. Your attitude towards me is unwanted and will no longer be tolerated. That goes for anyone else that you may humiliate because you are under the illusion that you are better than them. Here’s the pin that may pop your ego: you’re not.  Compared to myself and the others, you are a small, insignificant buzzing in our ears. I expect you to stop all your harassment. If I’m not satisfied, I’m going to kick your ass.”


There’s a silence before Pansy breaks it by laughing.


“What, you suddenly grow a backbone and you expect me to bow to your every command?”


You shrug.


“Okay, I tried this the easy way.”


You rear your arm back and punch her square in the face.


“Pansy, there are approximately 1,013,900 words in the English language, yet I could never string any of them together to explain how much I want to hit you in the face with a chair.”


She holds a hand to her nose, pulls it back, and looks at her bloody hand in shock.


“You’re psychotic!”


“No. I’m just done with you toying with me and anyone else. If I catch you being an ass to anyone else, there aren’t enough deities that you can pray to keep yourself safe from me. You understand?”


She nods and begins to shove through the crowd away from you. The witnesses surrounding you begin to clap. You smile at the acknowledgement and do a small bow. You catch Draco’s eye in the crowd to see him grinning and clapping as well. You motion with your head to the library door and he nods in understanding. You push through the people and enter the double doors. Moments later, Draco joins you.


“That was bloody amazing! You did a great job!”


You grin at his praise.


“Thanks, I had a fantastic teacher.”


He smirks.


“Yeah you did.”


You step closer to him.


“And as an amazing teacher, I think you deserve an award.”


He raises an eyebrow.


“And what would that be?”


You eye his plump, pink lips before leaning in and snagging his bottom lip between yours. He gives a small moan as you massage his bottom lip with your tongue. You pull away and lean your forehead against his. 


“Draco, I’d be honored if you became my boyfriend. What do you say?”


He smiles.


“I say hell yes.”


You return the smile before leaning in and connecting your lips once again.