One of the things that I think is probably a Trauma Thing™ that I have a hard time explaining to other people is that, from the outside, my judgement of others can seem very black and white. And sometimes it appears as if I’m not viewing individuals or groups with enough nuance.
But it’s not the same sort of childlike contrast of Good and Bad. It’s a protective sorting strategy for the basics of survival– Safe and Not Safe.
And it took a very long time to learn that I’m not obligated to spend time, emotional labor, energy, and sacrifice myself for people who are not safe. When I decide that someone is not worth engaging with, that’s not a universal condemnation of their humanity in the way I think some people assume. It’s just basic self care in deciding that my safety is important.