having relationship with pizza

2

modern au where jeyne and theon end up becoming unlikely friends and every so often when one or both of them are feeling down they get together for movie night and stupid selfies and delivery pizza and hot chocolate, because okay their lives aren’t perfect but they deserve some fucking happiness

This movie that I’m watching is terrible. The man and the pizza-girl have an utterly shallow and forced relationship that’s nothing more than wish-fulfillment.

alright so here’s a small update on my life since i pretty obviously haven’t been around much (on any of my blogs, tbh):

1) I got a job and. it takes up a lot of my time.

2) im stuck on mobile until i can get wifi set up in my new apartment

3) im in a relationship and i like this person a lot so i wanna spend all the rest of my time with them and,

4) i have a few small writing projects in mind for when i do get the time. specifically for f/f pairings and i’ve been kinda focusing on that

SEND ME NUMBERS!
  1. Do you sleep naked?
  2. What would be the first thing you would buy if you had a million dollars?
  3. What is the best gift you’ve ever given?
  4. What are your top 5 favorite songs?
  5. Do you like Disney movies?
  6. Do you speak multiple languages?
  7. What country do you come from?
  8. What year where you born?
  9. Who is your OTP?
  10. Would you sleep with a stranger for money?
  11. What is more important to you? Looks or personality?
  12. Would you rather date a hot but uneducated person or an unattractive but extremely educated person?
  13. Are you listening to music at the moment? If so, what song?
  14. Do you believe in astrology?
  15. Have you ever been depressed?
  16. Have you ever self-harmed?
  17. What song is played the most on your phone, ipod, etc.?
  18. What is your biggest pet peeve?
  19. Where is the number one place you’d love to visit?
  20. Do you have any children?
  21. Are you single or in a relationship?
  22. Pizza or nachos?
  23. Are you a vegetarian?
  24. What is your favorite gif?
  25. Do you think chivalry is dead?
  26. Where do you picture yourself in 5 years?
  27. What college would you want to attend?
  28. What is the weather at the moment?
  29. What time zone do you live in?
  30. Do you like Taylor Swift?
  31. What time do you usually wake up?
  32. What time do you usually fall asleep?
  33. Do you have a job?
  34. Have you ever got caught doing something bad or embarrassing, if so, what did you do and who did you get caught by?
  35. What is your favorite animal?
  36. Do you like llamas?
  37. Do you like pancakes?
  38. What is the most nastiest thing you’ve ever eaten?
  39. When was the last time you said “I love you” to someone?
  40. When was the last time you hugged someone? Who did you hug?
  41. Are you happy right now?
  42. Are you tired right now?
  43. What was your last 11:11 wish?
  44. If you could remain a certain age forever, what age would you choose and why?
  45. Are you secretly a ninja?
  46. Do you remember your first kiss?
  47. Who is the last person you called?
  48. How much time did you waste answering these questions?
  49. Can you swim?
  50. What’s upppppppppppppppp? 
Date Night

Authors Note: This imagine was requested by an anon but I think it’s a little long to be considered an imagine so I’m going to label it as a one shot. Thanks so much for your request lovely and I hope that you enjoy! XOXO

Trigger Warning: Profanity and Smut

“Hey! I was wondering could you do a simple date night imagine with Jared and his girlfriend and maybe some smut at the end? Thanks!” -Anon


I opened all of the cabinets in sight looking for a large glass bowl before he shoved something in my back.

“Looking for this,” he joked placing it over his head.

“Dammit Jared,” I laughed trying to remove it.

He pulled me into his arms and moved the bowl so that it laid along his hairline.

“Would you love me if I got a bowl haircut next?”

“Absolutely fucking not. My love has limits,” I joked as he laughed against my neck, placing gentle kisses on me.

I kissed his lips sweetly before quickly removing the bowl from his head. Standing there waiting for the popcorn, I could see him setting up the blankets in the living room. I got to decide the movie for the night and of course, it had to be a dark film but which one I couldn’t decide.

I walked into the living room with the bowl overflowing knowing that I wouldn’t be the one to consume most of it.

Keep reading

We're married?

Pairing: Sam x reader

Anon request: could you please write a sam x reader request where they’re best friends and they get stuck in an alternate reality where they’re married and so they have to pretend to be a couple and it’s awkward at first but then they talk about why they never actually tried being a couple and then they end up deciding to try having sex and its really awkward and they’re all giggly and embarrassed at first but then its really sweet and fluffy and when they get back to their universe they start dating. thanks

“Yo Sam I think I someone is down here” I carefully made my way down stair into the basement of the hydra facility. We got word that there was an inhuman that needed our help.

“Stay where you are, I’m headed your way for backup” I heard Sam the the earpiece before I heard footsteps behind me. “Alright let’s go” I felt him place his hand on my shoulder and we reached the final step.

“You want to get pizza after? I’m getting kind of hungry and Clint at all the snacks I pack on the way over here?” I whispered to Sam as we searched the basement.

“I heard that ! ! ! I’m sorry I ate all your sacks for you and your boyfriend y/n, but I didn’t eat breakfast this morning” I heard Clint complain over the earpiece.

“We’re not dating ! ! !” Both Sam and I responded at the same time. It’s like we can’t live in a world where a guy and a girl can’t be just friends. There always has to be something more to the friendship. Sam and I have been best friends since before the whole avengers thing, we met at one of his support group meeting. We talked for hours about our traumatic experiences over seas and through that we formed an unbreakable bond. He was also the one who recruited me to be an avenger when Steve was rebuilding the team. Tony was the first to point out how close my friendship with Sam was and the team quickly got on board with his observation.

“Whatever you guys say, just continue searching down there” Clint replied. After searching for a few minutes we were about to leave when we heard some movement.

“Who’s there” I asked as I pointed my flash light in the direction of the noise with Sam close behind.

“You two shouldn’t of come down here” a girl no more that nine popped out. “Have fun wherever you end up” I looked at Sam confused before I felt the girls hand on my wrist and instantly passed out.

*time skip*

“What the” I woke up and noticed I was in my room back at the compound but I felt like something was off. As I sat up I noticed a body laying down next to me and realized it was Sam. “Sam?” I shook him until he was awake.

“What the fuck, how did I get here.” He looked just as confused as I was.

“I don’t know, all I remember was the little girl grabbing my wrist before passing out” I pulled the covers off of me and noticed I was in my underwear. I found my clothes and hastily put them on before walking towards the door. I stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed something on my left ring finger: a diamond ring. “Uh Sam do you also have a-”

“A wedding ring? Yeah” I turned around to face him for a second before I exited the bedroom only to bump into Steve.

“Sorry y/n I didn’t see you there. How are you and the Mr. doing, we missed you guys at dinner last night”

“It’s because they were too busy celebrating their mission being a success in the guest bedroom. I mean what did you think those noises where last night. They couldn’t wait an extra 20 minutes to get to their own apartment so they could do it.” Natasha nearly passed out from laughter at Steve’s face when he realized what she said.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry, what you guys do in your married life is none of my business” Steve practically ran away after he said that. I stepped back inside and faced Sam who was just as shocked as I was.

“Ok really what the fuck, Steve never makes those relationship jokes like everyone else” Sam looked terrified “Do you think that little girl did this to us?”

“She did say to have fun wherever you end up. Did she mean this ? ! ? Shit what are we going to do ! ? !”

“Listen y/n, it’s going to be ok. There is no point in freaking out, it looks like our little friend had the power to send us into an alternate universe where we’re married. Our best bet is to go along with this and see if we can track her down again so we can tell her to take us back.” I felt Sam’s hands on my shoulder “it’s going to be ok” he kissed my forehead.

“We better get out there then” exiting for the second time from the room we made our way into the dinning room where everyone was already eating.

“Finally the Mr. and Mrs. show up. Come and eat” tony announced our presence before we sat down at the last two seats at the end of the table. We were halfway through breakfast when everyone was looking at us.

“What”

“Nothing it’s just a miracle that you guys aren’t all over each other” Clint replied before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Sorry we’re just tired I guess” Sam replied “right sweetheart” I turned to look at him.

“Yeah, we’re just tired” I looked back at him. He kissed on the lips. It felt weird at first but pushed that feeling aside and kissed him back.

“Jeez we were having a good breakfast guys” tony faked gagged. After breakfast we head back into the room woke up in.

“Ok so we’re married” I heard Sam as I closed the door.

“Yes and apparently we don’t live here either”. We spent twenty minutes on our phones finding out where we lived and other important information about our lives in this universe. After we gathered enough info about where we lived we stepped out of the room.

“Alright guys we’d love to stay and chat but we have to go” Sam’s voice got everyone’s attention.

“Aww ok” Steve replied as I grabbed Sam’s hand and exited the room.

“Ready to see what our apartment looks like wifey” Sam let out a small laugh as he called me his wifey.

“I’m so ready hubby, I hope we have good taste” I joked back as we got into his car (lucky it’s the same one from our universe) and drove off the the address of our apartment. Using the keys that I had in my purse I unlocked the front door of the apartment and smiled with delight. It was a gorgeous apartment.

“Well I’ll be damned, this place is nice.” Sam muttered as we looked around the place. There were photos of us were hanging on the wall, some were our wedding photos.

“Aw I had a pretty wedding dress” I gushed as I look at one photo of me and Sam kissing.

“Damn I look good too” I felt Sam’s breath on my shoulder. We continued to explore our apartment until we arrived at our bedroom.

“How long do you think we’re going to be trapped here?” I asked as I laid down on the bed.

“I don’t know, how ever long it takes us to track that little girl down I guess” I felt the bed sink as Sam laid down next to me. “Until then you are stuck with me, Mrs. Wilson”

“More like you’re stuck with me” I teased back as I curled up next to Sam.

*5 months later Sam’s pov.*

We were no where near close to finding the little girl. We have been pretending to be a married couple around the other team. It was super awkward at first because we still saw each other as best friends. We eventually got a little bit more comfortable to kiss each other when the team was around. It made me start to wonder why we’ve never actually considered being in a relationship in the first place.

“I have pizza” y/n voices broke my train of thought. “What are we doing tonight” y/n shouted

“Whatever you want” I replied as I stepped out of our bedroom.

“We could watch a movie, I don’t feel like going out”

“I’m alright with that” I got us plates and handed her one so she could place her slices on it. We were almost done with the movie but I couldn’t shake the question of why we weren’t together in our universe out of my head. “Hey y/n can I ask you something” I looked over at her and noticed a concerned look on her face.

“What’s up”

“Being here has made me wonder why aren’t we together, like in our universe” she looked at me shocked.

“I don’t know” y/n looked like she was thinking over the question. “Maybe because the rest of the team have teases us about how we already looked like a couple. We are so quick to shut down those thoughts. Why do you ask?”

“Because I would like to see where this goes” I replied looking straight into her eyes.

*y/n pov*

“Because I would like to see where this goes” Sam replied looking straight into my eyes before I felt his lips onto mine. I felt butterfly’s in my stomach, this is the first time we kissed without feeling like we have to put up an act in front of the team. I placed the plate in my hands on the coffee table before climbed up on his lap and responded to the kiss. I couldn’t help but laugh a little when I felt his hand on my lower back. “What’s so funny”

“Nothing, I just can’t believe we’re doing this” I responded against his lips before I started to suck on his lower lip and started to grind on him until I felt him getting hard.

“Bedroom?” Sam questioned

“Oh yeah” I began to suck on his neck as he got up, his wrapped around my ass as he carried me into the bedroom. He tossed me gently on the bed as we started taking our clothes off. Once I was completely naked I looked over at Sam and watched as he slid his boxers off, revealing his member. Being the immature person that I am, I started giggling.

“Stop laughing”

“I’m sorry you just have a very beautiful and well endowed penis Sam” I replied before he jumped on the bed and hovered above me.

“And you have beautiful breasts” Sam replied and he was checking out my body before connecting his lips with my right breast. His right hand traveled down my body until it made contact with my pussy and he started to play with my clit.

“Mmmm that tickles” I moan and laughed at the same time.

“Come on I’m trying to turn you on y/n” Sam smiles before bitting my nipple.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry continue” I giggled as he ran his fingers up and down my pussy again. “Mmm please stick it in”

“Stick what”

“Your fingers damnit” I pouted when I heard him laugh lightly

“Impatient are we” Sam teased before sliding his fingers inside me and started to pump them inside me.

“Oh yesss” my breath was becoming uneven as he started to move his fingers faster and started sucking on my neck.

“I want to know how you taste” he whispered in my ear before lightly bitting my earlobe.

“Then get down there Wilson” I replied before I let go of his muscular shoulders. “Ahh fuck” I cursed when I felt his lips on my pussy. He left a few opened mouthed kisses before sticking his tongue inside my core. “Ahhh” my eyes rolled back at his tongue moving in and out.

“You taste fucking good y/n fuck” Sam continued to move his tongue inside me as he started massaging my clit.

“Oh shit Sam if you keep doing that and I’ll cum in no time” I panted as I was nearing my orgasm.

“That’s the point baby girl, cum” Sam started to move hand harshly against my clit causing me to orgasm.

“SAM ! ! ! !” I shouted as I came all over his mouth. Once he made sure he licked up all my juices he kissed his way up my body.

“Are you sure baby girl? there is still time to back out”

“I was ok with letting you go down on me, of course I’m going to be ok with us fucking” I got his cock and lined him up against my pussy.

“Just making sure” I felt his lips against mine as he pushed his cock inside me. “Wow I actually did it, I’m inside my best friend”

“are you serious Sam” I cackled at his reaction of being inside me.

“Dead serious, now I’m moving. I’m officially fucking you” Sam smiled as he slowly started to move.

“Less talk, lets fuck” I whispered as I locked my legs around his waist.

“Haha that rhymed”

“Sam ! ! !” I started to laugh

“I’m sorry but you did” I felt him holding onto my thighs as started to move faster and faster. “Oh fuck, why haven’t we done this before y/n”

“I don’t know but don’t fucking stop Sam” I clung to his shoulders again as he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

“Oh Sam I’m getting close again” I warned him as he was picking up the pace.

“I know baby girl I’m close too” Sam replied as the sound of our skin slapping together started getting louder and louder.

“Sam Sam Sam ahh” I whimpered as I was seconds away from another orgasm.

“Let gooooooo FUCK Y/N” Sam moan before I felt him cum inside me.

“SAMMMMMMM” I shouted for the second time as I came all over his cock. We milked our orgasms as long as we could until Sam finally pulled out and laid down next to me.

“Well them” I heard him breath out

“I know, I just fucked my best friend, and I liked it” I let out a weak smile at Sam.

“I liked it too. what are you doing all the way over there. Come cuddle with me” I realized I was far away from Sam so I curled up next to him. “You know I like this, I just had the best sex of my life with my best friend who I’m married to in this universe”

“I know for some reason I kind of don’t want to go back to our universe now” I closed my eyes as I listened to Sam’s heart beat.

“Or we could date when we go back and we can make this universe a reality in our universe. Does that make sense?”

“It does and I would love to try it out.” I yawned as my eyes started to get heavy.

“Alright let’s go to sleep baby girl” I felt Sam place a kiss on the top of my head as we drifted off to sleep.

*the next day*

We were woken up by the sound of Sam’s phone ringing

“Sam, your phone” I grumbled as I hid my face in my pillow.

“Hello?” I heard Sam answering his phone. “Alright we’ll be over there in twenty minute, ok bye” I held the bedsheets against my naked body.

“What’s wrong?” I noticed Sam getting out of bed and scrambling to put his clothes on.

“Mission, put your clothes on. Steve wants everyone on this mission” Sam replied as he threw me some clothes to put on. Arriving at the compound we noticed everyone was already seated.

“Alright now that everyone is here lets get started” Steve nodded at us to sit down. “We got word that there is an inhuman hiding in this hydra facility. They have the power to send people into an alternate universe. So what ever you do, don’t let them touch you” I turned to Sam who was already looking at me. “Suit up because we are leaving in ten” everyone got up to leave except for myself and Sam.

“This is our way home, do you think she’s down in the basement like last time?” Sam whispered as he looked around to see if anyone was still around.

“I hope so, I’ll tell Steve that we’ll volunteer to search the basement. That way we can get out of here sooner” I whispered back as I stood up. “Let’s go suit up before the rest of the team gets suspicion as to why we’re taking too long.”

“Alright let’s go”

*time skip*

“Ok it’s through here” I spoke to Sam as we made it down into the basement. Steve was more than happy to let Sam and I explore the basement of the hydra facility.

“I forgot how creepy this place was”

“How’s it going down there” Steve voice came through the earpiece.

“Great, still no sign of the inhuman” I replied as I went towards the place where I found the little girl last time.

“Alright, keep me posted” Steve replied. I inched closer to where I saw the little girl last time and soon enough she popped up.

“You shouldn’t of come here” the little girl repeated what she said the first time.

“Listen this has already happened before to us we-”

“I know, I remember you.” The little girl cut me off.

“Listen we just want to go home, if you send us back home I swear we won’t tell our team you are here. In our universe” Sam got closer to us.

“Promise ? I don’t want to be found, I like it in this place”

“We promise” I bent down so I was at eye level with you “we won’t tell a soul”

“Ok, give me your hands” we did and just before she was going to touch us she paused. “You too are together now aren’t you?” she giggled at her question.

“Yes and it was because of you so thank you” Sam smiled at the little girl before she held onto our hands but unlike last time we didn’t pass out.

“Welcome home” the little girl smiled at us before Steve’s voice came from the top of the staircase.

“Did you guys find anything down there” Steve asked as we heard him starting to come down.

“NOOO” we said in unison “it’s all clear here Steve we’re heading back up.” We replied at the same time again looking at the little girl was smiling.

“Seriously guys how are you guys not together, you guys say things at the same time” Clint mocked over the ear piece before we made our way to the staircase.

“Bye” the little girl waved at us

“Bye” we waved back before reaching the main level and making our way out of the facility. Once outside we noticed everyone was already outside waiting.

“So no luck finding the person” Natasha asked once we reached them.

“No it must of been a false lead I guess” I replied which prompted e everyone to agree.

“Alright let’s head back” Steve lead us to the quinjet. Sam held onto my hand and we followed him.

“Hold the fuck up, I thought you too weren’t dating. Why are you two holding hands” tony questioned catching everyone’s attention.

“Oh we lied, we’ve been dating for the past five months” I responded as I looked at Sam. Technically I was telling the truth, we were married in the other universe for five months.

“I knew it ! ! ! ” Clint screamed

“Shut up Clint” Natasha punched Clint when he screamed in her ear.

“Yeah whatever, let’s go” we kissed in front of everyone before walking past them and headed towards the quinjet.

Let me ask you a question. In all the years you’ve undressed in front of a gentleman, has he asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out and left? No.. because he doesn’t care; He’s in the room with a naked girl. He’s won the lottery. I’m so tired of saying no and waking up in morning recalling every single thing I ate the day before, counting every calorie I consumed so I know just how much self loathing to take into the shower. I’m going for it. I have no interest in being obese, but I’m just through with the guilt.
—  Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

anonymous asked:

Are you sure you and ⭐ aren't in a relationship at all? You guys flirt and they even call you boo

I genuinely laughed, the relationship between me and ⭐️ is 100% platonic. I guess you could interpret my responses as flirting but I’m not really trying to? (Aha, I’m so naturally suave)Like I said i’m hella into people not really knowing who I am so I can be more extroverted and flirty I guess than usual, and ⭐️ is just a sweet person who is cool with calling friends boo? - mod bear

I have a really great relationship with pizza 🍕 and I’m extremely loyal 😤. I’m sorry anon….. -mod moose