having a mental breakdown again

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

1. The pride of the true heir of phantomhive.
2. His rude words for the “first time meet” someone else.
3. His dislike of fake
4. His mischievous smile
5. Had the big-brotherly tone, but scolds his twin.

While our ciel, thinks himself as “spare”, worthless, inferiority complex, suffer from PTSD, and sold his soul to demon only to take revenge. Please save him, he has suffered so much. I’m afraid he is going to have mental  breakdown again, or asthma attack.  

Please don’t

Jashi and the Antis

Okay, so since this is apparently still a problem within part of the Samurai Jack fandom, I feel the need to speak out about this again. First of all, for the love of God, PLEASE stop arguing over the damn ship! It’s just a small part of a much bigger story that is amazing and all of you need to stop fighting and harassing each other over it!

Lately I’ve been seeing a few posts talking about how anti-Jashi shippers are getting sick of seeing Jashi everywhere, as in like they’re going to have a mental breakdown if they see it again and saying that they’re being tormented by Jashi shippers. And at that all I can do is give a blank look at my screen and go… “Really?” You’re really going to let a fictional pairing that has nothing to do with you at all in real life affect you THAT much? You people do realize that the show is Genndy’s vision and whatever happens in it doesn’t pertain to real life situations? It just completely boggles my mind that some people on this site can’t distinguish reality from fiction. I mean really just block the Jashi tag if you feel that strongly about it, no one’s forcing you to look at the Jashi content (though it feels like some of you are just to spew hate at us).

Also on the “JaSHi SHipPErs aRe bEiNg BULLIES aND TheY NeVEr sHUt uP!!1!” things I’ve been seeing around… Okay first of all, if this is about the Phil Lamarr thing, he even said that he wasn’t confirming anything, just correcting people on the internet (that Ashi wasn’t a minor and that Jack isn’t an old man, FYI, so please, antis, stop using those BS excuses), but shippers are still allowed to get excited about it and share that if they want, you would definitely do the same if it was your OTP. And for the next thing, literally the only time I’ve seen Jashi shippers argue against antis was when the antis insulted them on a post the shippers made, or on their own post insulting the shippers, which in my opinion gives them the right to stand up for themselves.

Just, please, PLEASE enough with the fighting. We all enjoy the show, and I truly believe that most Jashi shippers are okay if it doesn’t become canon, it’s just another bonus for us in a show we all love. If it does become canon, though, that’s Genndy’s decision and he felt it was what was best for both Jack and Ashi (who are both clearly their own, well-developed characters who would do just fine on their own,  but have shown to positively affect each other and benefit their own lives by being around each other, which is how a good relationship should be). So again, please no more fighting. If you don’t like Jashi then fine, but please don’t go around saying that the people who do are terrible human beings just because they happen to like a fictional pairing that you don’t, because they have their own, completely valid reasons for shipping it and you have your own, completely valid reasons for not shipping it, and what they ship isn’t a reflection of them as a person, but how you react to others who disagree with you is. You wouldn’t want someone attacking you for liking a pairing that they don’t, so please, enough with the ship wars, let’s just enjoy the show and ship and let ship like rational human beings. I don’t think that’s asking too much.

And to all of the antis who still insist on bullying others for a ship they try to say is morally wrong, please direct your attention to this.

sweet-yellow-orange  asked:

I'M FREAKING OUT. I HAVE MIXED EMOTIONS ABOUT THIS. I MEAN I'M KIND OF HAPPY YOUR DREAM COME TRUE BUT KIND OF WORRIED AND MAD YOU WILL STAY WITH FUCKY AND HE CAN HURT YOU AND THE CHILD, BUT HOPING HE WILL TREAT YOU BETTER AND YOU WILL BE FREE TO VISIT YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BUT THEN AGAIN SAD HE WON'T CHANGE... *Is having a mental breakdown*ΔĦĦĦĦ, ŦĦΞŞ ΞŞ ŦØØ ΜỮĆĦ ŦØ ĦΔŇĐŁ€

-Is worried and tries to keep you calm-

anonymous asked:

“Wanna bet?”

“Nobody would love a monster like me, Bim!” the Host shouted, crying.
He was having one of his mental breakdowns again, and his best friend was the only one that could possibly calm him down.
Bim Trimmer rolled his eyes, feeling both exasperated and tendered by his friend’s behavior.

“Wanna bet?” he said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Of course no.” the Host hissed, taking Bim’s hand and removing it sharply from himself.
“You shouldn’t be so rude with your date” Bim laughed.
“What are you t-“
“Yeah, you shouldn’t” said the Doctor, replacing his soft hand on Host’s shoulder.

little-assassin  asked:

congrats on your follower count!! i'm very happy to be a part of that! if you have the time and inclination, for my request, frisk/reader comforting an upset sans? i'd be happy to make it an art trade instead, where i'll accept a request from you too, if you have one! if not, thank you!! and i will continue following for your adorable art and personality c:

OHKAY this took me a while like maybe 3 hours? I hope you like it q u q.

This AU takes place after the True Pacifist Route where player/reader/frisk become sick a year or more later.

I feel that if nobodys lives are in danger anymore that frisk wouldnt find a reason to reset anymore. Like they would reset for others but not for themselves.

Even if Sans did ask :’c life would have to go on naturally now.

(because we know more than anything sans does not support resets and is having a mental breakdown just thinking about it happening again but also having a breakdown over losing frisk forever)

sorry if this is more depressing then what you asked for D:

Its just I feel that all the monsters would outlive frisk/reader/player anyways and the goodbyes would be the same. (ahhhh I need to stop..)

thankyou for watching me dear! sorry i dumped more angst on you..

anonymous asked:

I don't really want to say her name but took advantage of me and wouldn't stop when I told her to. It eats me alive because I said no more please please stop and she didn't but I didn't physically stop her. I guess I did her wrong by blaming her when it was my fault for letting it continue, but then again it lead me to have a complete mental breakdown and try to kill myself and her possessiveness didn't help. It's fucked up of me to blame her for all of this when I'm at fault though lol

when your body language or literal dialogue tells someone “no” they need to listen. if they care about you they will stop. if they care about themselves they will take what they want. and those who take what they want deserve to rot.

tag game thing™

tagged by @let-my-opera-begin ~ thanks


Nickname: hibbity bibbity (don’t ask)

Star Sign: Aries

Height: 5′6″

Time: 11:45 pm

Birthday: April 3rd

Favorite Bands: Twenty-One Pilots is pretty cool, but I mostly stick to Broadway

Favorite Solo Artist: can Ramin Karimloo count?

Song stuck in my head: Michael in the Bathroom, George Salazar, Be More Chill

Last Movie I Watched: 2004 POTO (stream was littt)

Last Show I Watched: The Office

Blog Created: a while ago? still pretty new.

What I do: listen to music, pretend to do work, have consistent mental breakdowns, read the same book over and over again, and take naps

Last Thing I Googled: heathers

Other blogs: @dirty-poto-confessions (shameless self-promo) (go sub)

Do You Get Asks?: sometimes. Would love to get more.

Why Did You Choose Your URL: self-explanatory. I still can’t believe it was available

Following: like 200

Followers: 350-something

Favorite Color: Green or Black

Average Hours of Sleep: 5 maybe

Lucky Number: 3

Instruments: i have no talent. I took a year of piano if that counts.

What I’m Wearing: sweat pants and a shirt that says “save ferris” (shoutout to my boi bueller)

How Many Blankets: one. I live in Florida and it gets hot

Dream Job: Engineer, I guess. I don’t see myself getting very far in that field though…

Dream Trip: I’ve already been to NYC but I’d give anything to go back. Also Paris to see the PALAIS GARNIER

Favorite Food: I feed on despair. And jell-o

Nationality: a big mix that results in a stark white child


i tag everyone who sees this because i’m too lazy to actually think of people

also, @let-my-opera-begin: open up your ask box so I can spam you with questions. hmu sometime to talk

Traumas & Determination [Baekhyun]

Summary: Baekhyun wants to take you on a date. But as a bad boy’s tutor, you decide testing his determination by refusing on going on the date unless he passes his test.

Genre: Romance, angst, sadness, fluff

Words: 2.7k

Originally posted by omgfishy

It was yesterday when Principle Byun had asked me to tutor his rebellious son Baekhyun. He was a very popular rich boy that was adored by every girl in the school for his god-like looks. The only downside of him was that he was undeniably stupid, and his grades ranked him last in the entire school.

I guess that Principle Byun decided to do something about him getting embarrassed over the fact that his son failed nearly half of his classes. I was glad that he finally realized it was a serious problem, until he called me into his office and bribed me with extra credit.

I knew for a fact that Byun Baekhyun was a very dangerous boy, and that I should stay away from him at all times. He hooked up with every walking thing with boobs. But those girls were only left heartbroken and devastated. I told myself to never talk to him or just be within a meters radius of him.

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Triggers

(A/N): I don’t know what this is, I thought of it and was like, yes

Summary: Even after Bucky has been liberated from Hydra, whenever he hears those words it damn near gives him a heart attack

Warnings: Bucky’s trigger words, anxiety attacks, baby buck needs a hug


Originally posted by dailyteamcap

     Bucky had finally been liberated from his actual hell on earth, from all those years of pain and torture, all those years of him inflicting pain and torture upon others. He was a free man now, he could do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted; he could go out and experience the sky and wind for the first time in years, truly experience it, he could go out and read as many books as he wanted or watch as much TV as he pleased, and if he just so wanted to he could fall in love, and fall in love he did. 

    Bucky had absolutely fallen for the seemingly shy, quiet, person who was always lurking in the tower, always there to fix something or talk to Tony. The only problem had been that he himself was still a bit on the shy and quiet side, after all he had just gotten full repaired and he was such a nervous wreck around people that he could barely talk to Steve much less this gorgeous, albeit awkward, person who could barely speak a word to any of the other avengers. 

   It had taken Bucky some time to open up to (Y/N), slowly starting to chip away at his own shell to reach out and chip away at (Y/N)’s. It had started out as soft smiles and awkwardly shared gazes but soon enough Bucky had worked up enough courage to actually talk to the damn person. 

   “Sherlock holmes, hm?” Bucky asks as he sits across from (Y/N) who at the moment was reading in one of Tony’s labs, their face conveying every emotion they felt when they were reading. (Y/N) stares up at Bucky over the cover of the book, their shy nature starting to take ahold. “Is it any good? I wanted to read it back in the day but I never really got the chance,” (Y/N) seems to be frozen a bit, their eyes glued on the ex soldier as he attempted to strike up an almost normal conversation with what he was sure was his dream person. 

    “U-Um yeah,” They stutter, their cheeks dusting a light pink as they speak softly, almost too quiet for Bucky to hear. “Sometimes the timeline of it all is a bit confusing but other than that it’s really good,” Bucky smiles, nodding his head at the progress they were making. They’d gone from never having spoken a word to having a nearly perfect conversation. “I could uh- I could let you borrow the book sometime?” They suggest lightly, their voice even smaller and squeakier than before. 

   Bucky could feel his heart clenching at the mere sweetness of this person. How had he ever been nervous to approach them, especially when they were so nervous themself. 

   “Yeah,” Bucky smiles a bit wider, nodding to himself. “I’d like that,” 

   That one moment, that single little conversation with those awkward words and stolen smiles sparked something deep within the two; an almost primal need for human physical connection, to have some bond with someone rather than themselves for once. It had been so sudden, this want- need for each other, for that connection that they had only felt together, so it was a bit of a surprise to all the other avengers when one day they all walked into Bucky’s floor to grab him for training when they found the two fast asleep, cuddling on the couch as though it were the most normal thing to do. 

   From that day on Bucky and (Y/N) were just known to be together, as though they always had been, like that had always been the way things were and all these months later, nearly 12, it still remained true. They had a happy, healthy, more than loving relationship…well almost healthy. 

   There were some things Bucky never talked about, to anyone, not Steve, not Nat, not (Y/N), he himself could barely stand to think about said things. Most of them revolved around his time with Hydra, the torture, the pain, the brainwashing. Most of the time Bucky was able to keep it under control, the constant fear that lingered over him because of all these thoughts, but sometimes that fear would creep up on him and pounce upon him like a predator stalking its prey. 


    “(Y/N)!” Steve called from the kitchen as he slipped some shoes on. “How many boxes of poptarts did Thor want?” (Y/N), who was seated beside Bucky on the couch, the latter curled into their side. 

   “I think he said seventeen,” (Y/N) yells back, not even thinking about the word they had just uttered. Bucky’s entire body goes rigid and his eyes shoot open in pure fear and terror. 

    It was okay, it was just one word, nothing more. 

    “The man eats like a damn cow,” (Y/N) chuckles lightly, not even noticing the way Bucky had tensed at that word. 

   You’re fine, Bucky found himself mentally repeating. You’re okay, it’s just (Y/N) talking to Steve, not Hydra. 

    “Hey Buck?” (Y/N) asks softly, gently poking at his cheek to gain his attention. “You okay?” Bucky nearly whipped right up, his expression full of so much fear and pain that it was nearly heart shatteringly painful. He attempts to play it off, smiling softly as he nods, hoping that his smile looked more real than it felt. 

    “Y-Yeah…” He breathes out shakily, staring down at his hands for a moment. “I’m good, just a little flashback is all,” (Y/N)’s gaze upon him is sad and sympathetic and when they open their arms up to invite him into their embrace he can’t help but accept, curling into their side once again.

   “It’s okay Bucky,” (Y/N) whispers against his forehead, their lips pressed against his temple in a soft kiss. “You’re here with me, not on some train, or in some foreign country; you’re here with me, Avengers Tower 2016,” Bucky nods against them, only feeling a bit consoled. 

   He hoped it was only a one time thing, that this fear of some silly words would eventually go away but as time ticked by he was only disappointed, once again. 


     The next time it happened was even more painful and obvious than the last time and it damn near cost everyone their lives too. 

   “Bucky!” Steve yelled as he threw his shield at some creature they’d been fighting. “The herd is in the freight car, we gotta take ‘em down and-” But Bucky had stopped listening as soon as Steve had yelled that word. That one word in that stupid sequence that nearly gave him a heart attack anytime it was used. 

   He froze on the spot, unable to move or think, unable to do much other than try to stop from having a mental breakdown then and there. 

   “Bucky!” Steve yells again, thinking the man hadn’t heard him. “Freight car! Now!” The word sent chills of fear up his spine and he was sure he was shaking on the spot, just staring at said freight car with an expression of pure terror. Thank god Nat had been there to follow out Steve’s orders otherwise they’d all have been dead within minutes. 

   The fighting stops as the herd dies down, Nat having completely blown up the freight car and not a moment too soon.

    “What the hell Barnes?” Tony yells as he touches down on the ground, his mask lifting from his face so he could glare at Bucky more efficiently. “We just about died because of you, what were you thinking?” 

    “I-I, I don’t know, I just froze up, I don’t know why,” He lied, hanging his head in shame. God, they were all staring at him like he was some kind of circus freak or something. Tony opens his mouth to start yelling again when Steve stops him, raising a hand up to silence him. 

    “Don’t let it happen again Bucky,” Bucky nods, attempting not to cry in front of his teammates so he hangs his head, sniffling inconspicuously. 

   “I won’t,” And yet, against his every hope and prayer it did. 


 “Goddamit,” Tony grumbled, chucking his wrench somewhere in the room. “The furnace is broken,” Bucky shouldn’t have been affected like this, his entire body went rigid and his mouth ran dry. 

    The image of white lab coats and freezing chambers entered his mind, causing Bucky to shiver on the spot. Then he was strapped to a chair, fiery bolts of pain running through his body and within a those damn words were being chanted at him, like a mantra he never ever wanted to hear again. 

   “Bucky?” An almost far off sounding voice penetrated his momentary nightmare. “Bucky, baby, are you okay?” His nightmare began to dissipate, leaving him feeling dizzy as the real world, the one he was in at the moment, began to slowly return. It started off with shapes and blurry colors before gaining some clarity. 

    (Y/N) stood before Bucky, their face etched with concern as they reached a hand out to steady the swaying Bucky. Tony was beside them, his arms outstretched as he prepared to catch Bucky’s falling mass. Instead Bucky turned to (Y/N) for support, nearly slumping into their arms as he sighs shakily, breathing in and out just as shakily too. 

   “Hey, you okay? Thought you were going to pass out on us there,” 

   “N-No,” He whispers, whether that be to the men mentally torturing him some miles away in decades past or to (Y/N) who’s his entire support right now. “No,” He states a little clearer this time, having decided he was talking to (Y/N) rather than those horrible men. “I’m good,” (Y/N) pulls back at this, just enough to get a good look at Bucky’s paling face. 

   “No you aren’t Buck,” (Y/N)’s brow furrows in confusion as they reach up to feel Bucky’s forehead, wondering if he was overheated or something. “You’re really clammy, I think we should go lay down for a bit-” 

   “No,” Bucky staggers a bit as he attempts to pull away from (Y/N), his strength starting to slowly return. “I’m fine, let’s just- let’s just help Tony repair this thing and then we can go,” (Y/N) eyes him warily as he has to lean on some lab table to keep from falling over. 

   “Bucky, are you-” 

   “Yes (Y/N),” Bucky mutters through a clenched jaw. “Let’s just get back to work, please,” Despite (Y/N) being worried about him they turn back to Tony to help once again, every once in awhile casting Bucky a side glance here and there. 


    Bucky had been fine throughout the rest of the little furnace fix up, only showing signs of being ill when he’d get a little too lost in thought, his mind going to places not even the devil wanted to venture to. It was when Tony made some comment that Bucky started up once again. 

   “Damn it,” He cursed, raking a hand down his grease covered face. “It’s rusted, here and here, and-” Tony stops short when a quiet whimper issues from behind the pair, meaning it only belonged to the only other person in there; Bucky. 

   “No,” He whispered, his chest beginning to rise and fall rapidly, his hands shaking as they clench at his sides. “Please don’t,” His eyes are screwed shut tight as his lips part in quiet please. 

    “(Y/N) what’s wrong? Is he okay?” Tony whispers, his expression holding only horror and concern for the soldier before him. 

    “No, god no,” Bucky whimpers again, his entire body now shaking in fear.  

    “Oh my god,” (Y/N) whispers, their eyes widening in shock. “He hasn’t had a panic attack in months,” Immediately they get to work, gingerly attempting to bring Bucky back to real time. They stand between his legs, gently cupping his cheeks in their hands as they whisper into his ear. “Bucky, it’s okay, you’re okay, you’re safe here I promise. You’re in Avengers tower 2016, come on baby snap out if it,” (Y/N) pleads, they themself growing frantic over Bucky’s steadily rising heartbeat. “Can you open your eyes, just let me see those eyes bucky,” Bucky’s breathing hasn’t slowed down in the slightest and (Y/N)’s afraid he may pass out with the way he was breathing so shallowly and quickly. 

    “Bucky,” (Y/N) takes on a more demanding voice, hoping it would snap him out of whatever funk he was in. “Look at me,” Bucky whimpers softly, cracking one of his eyes open to stare at (Y/N). “Hey,” (Y/N) runs their hands along his jawline, hoping that the usually soothing gesture would do just that, soothe. “It’s okay Bucky,” Bucky closes his eye once again, shaking his head vehemently. (Y/N) sighs softly, their heart aching for poor Bucky. “Is it okay if I hug you? Would you rather I stay away?” (Y/N)’s question is immediately answered when Bucky wraps his arms around their hips, tugging them closer to his body.

     (Y/N) nods as they gently settle their arms around Bucky, being careful not to startle him or scare him in anyway. (Y/N) doesn’t even know what to say to Bucky as he whimpers and sniffles against them, holding them as though it may be his last time. 

    “Can you match your breathing to mine?” (Y/N) asks, gently brushing his hair to the side as they do so. “Think you can do that? Just a steady in, out?” Bucky nods against them, sighing shakily as he does so. It takes a few minutes for him to slow his breathing but he does it, his chest now rising and falling at a normal pace. “Are you okay?” (Y/N) asks hesitantly, their voice having dropped to a whisper minutes ago. Bucky exhales shakily, starting to nod his head yes, but quickly stopping himself when he realized it was pointless to lie. 

    “N-No,” He sounds as if he may cry and it only makes it all the more heartbreaking. He gulps, his adams apple bobbing a bit as he buries his face in the crook of (Y/N)’s neck. 

    “What do you need from me?” (Y/N) asks as they reach up to run their fingers through his hair, hoping it would only calm him down further. 

    “Please,” Bucky’s voice cracks, “Just hold me,” (Y/N) nods, wrapping him up a  little tighter. 

    “I think I should just…” Tony trails off, gesturing between the two of you and then to the door. “I think I’m just gonna leave,” (Y/N) nod their head, smiling at the man a bit before turning their attention back to still shaking man in their arms. Tony makes a quiet exit, leaving the two people in the room all alone. 

    No one speaks for a bit, not yet, not after the sheer rawness of what happened. Instead (Y/N) merely holds Bucky close, allowing him to hug them back as though his life depended on it. 

    “Hydra had these words,” Bucky finally speaks up, swallowing the lump that seems to be collecting at his throat. “That would- they’d trigger the winter soldier,” He can feel the tears pin pricking his eyes, blurring and obscuring everything in his sight. “Sometimes when someone says any of the words it just- it just scares me really bad,” 

   No one truly knew about hit trigger words, other than Steve of course, so having to open up to someone about it was more than a little painful. 

    “Oh Bucky,” (Y/N) coos, their heart shattering for him. “I’m so sorry, I wish you’d told us so we could have known what words not to use-” 

    “You can’t just stop saying certain words because of me,” Bucky whispers, his tone sounding even more broken than before. “They’re kinda common words, I’ll just have to get over this somehow,” 

    “Bucky, I- God I’m so sorry you have to deal with this,” (Y/N) really was sorry, seeing Bucky having to breakdown like this all because of a word was truly heartbreaking. The man just deserved peace for one fucking minute of his life. Bucky doesn’t say anything, he merely holds (Y/N) a bit tighter as though they were his lifeline, the only thing keeping him grounded, and sighs against them, his breathing still attempting to go back to it’s relaxed state. 

    It was going to take awhile for Bucky to return back to normal, to not have a damn panic attack every time those words were uttered but at least he didn’t have to do it alone, he had his favorite human being by his side to help him along. 

Maybe Dylan’s right. Maybe the reason Derek’s life is so hard is because he’s just too sexy. I mean… look what happened to Jackson. Look what’s happening to Stiles.

Teen Wolf: The hotter they get, the harder they fall. 

The Invention of the Devil

Prompt 12: You accidentally hit Reply All and everyone received an uncensored rant about your boss.  Write the follow up Reply All.

“Well,” Castiel said, closing the incredibly organized, clear, concise, and color-coded product plan in front of him.  “I think this meeting was very productive.  Everyone has their do-outs, so let’s get to it.”

The group of fifteen people stood up from their seats at the conference table and Castiel’s assistant continued to scribble notes in her notepad.  Castiel shook hands with a few of his vice presidents and again thanked the two team members who had probably done most if not all of the work for the meeting today.  He vaguely recognized the woman but couldn’t remember her name.  The man he had more of a recollection of because, well, it was an incredibly shallow reason, but the guy was fucking hot.  And Castiel had actually had a really weird dream about him once that involved them slipping and sliding naked down a giant ice cream sundae.  He was pretty sure his name was one syllable, but an uncommon one, so not Tim or Dan but…something.

He grabbed the VP of the medical equipment division and held him back in the room.  Rick looked incredibly nervous to be singled out.

“Uh, yes, Mr. Novak, how can I help you?”  Rick’s voice was a little high pitched.

“I just wanted to say how happy I am with your division.”  Rick’s shoulders relaxed a little bit.  “Your division routinely churns out the best numbers and you’re always innovating and not coasting on a single success.  I was incredibly impressed by the proposal in today’s meeting.  I can’t wait to see it implemented.”

“Well, thank you, sir.  We did work really hard this past quarter.  Jo and Dean have been leading the charge and really spearheading this expansion into the Japanese market.”

Ah.  Dean.

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