[Image Description: A screenshot of part of a comment that reads, “someone says ‘I’m not bisexual, I’m pansexual’ it makes me goddamn crazy because bisexuality as a term isn’t limiting. If you’re attracted to men and women and androgynes, you’re still goddamn bisexual, you are just ALSO this other thing. I think a lot of people want to feel special and unique, which I understand, but I think that can come at the cost of actual progress for us.”]
I wish I could remember the link for this, but all I remember is that it was a comment left on an article about bisexual rep, more specifically a character from game of thrones, by the author of the article. but regardless, it’s trash. complete and utter anti-pan trash.
- first we have, “someone says 'I’m not bisexual, I’m pansexual’ it makes me goddamn crazy because bisexuality as a term isn’t limiting.”
let’s just fix that real quick, what I think they meant is, "someone using a label that they actually feel comfortable with and represented by makes me use ableist slurs because I like to police how people define and label their sexuality.“
okay, listen. it doesn’t matter if bisexuality isn’t limiting, if it can mean two genders or all genders. hell, it doesn’t matter if bisexuality and pansexuality had the exact same, word for word, text book definition. people have the right to define and label their sexuality as they please, and you don’t get to police or even have a fucking opinion on it. it’s simply not your place.
if you’re really bothered or confused by someone identifying as pansexual, politely ask them if they’ll share why they identify that way, or just read posts by pansexual people who have discussed this topic to death. either way, shut up and listen, instead of spewing bigoted assumptions.
- to follow that up, we’ve got, "you’re [pansexuals] still goddamn bisexual, you’re just ALSO this other thing.”
this one really pisses me off. stop telling pansexual people that they’re bisexual. whether you’re saying they’re just bisexual or also bisexual. start fucking respecting their label and why/how they identify with it.
stop forcing bisexual as an umbrella term to mean multisexual, because it isn’t one, multisexual is. and let’s not forget that plenty of pansexual people have repeatedly expressed that they are not okay with being called bisexual. (and that’s not because we think there’s anything wrong with being bisexual. it’s just not our label, it’s not how we identify, and again, you need to respect that.)
for the fucking record, my pansexuality isn’t some afterthought or minor detail of my identity. it is my identity, on its own, not as a subset or runner up to anything else. and just so you know, if you spew hate about pansexuality/pan people, but “just also” happen to be bisexual, you're still fucking trash. being bi doesn’t excuse you from being a bigot, or being called out on it.
- next up is, “I think a lot of people want to feel special and unique”.
is that the “polite” way of calling pansexuals “special snowflakes”? well, let me tell you, I don’t identify as pansexual because it makes me feel cool or unique or special. I identify as pansexual because, shocker!! I actually relate to it, in a way that I don’t with any other label. (aside from queer.)
I have never felt connected to the word bisexual. it was close, in that way where before I identified my sexuality, I fiercely supported bisexuality, because I felt a sort of kinship with bisexual people. but I never felt the word described me.
when I learned about pansexuality, though. it just immediately clicked and felt right. so, honestly? who the fuck do you think you are, to try to erase or diminish that by saying I call myself pansexual just to feel special? like it’s a fucking fact? like you fucking know me and my feelings? kindly go fuck yourself.
- and lastly, “I think that can come at the cost of actual progress for us.”
okay, identifying explicitly as pansexual is not, in any way whatsoever, hurting bisexual people or the bisexual movement. and I’m really interested in who you’re referring to with that “us”, because while you seem to believe that pansexuality and bisexuality are the same, you don’t seem to hold any kind of respect for pansexual people, and that leads me to believe that progress for you and progress for me mean different things.
progress for me is celebrities publicly identifying as pansexual and discussing their pansexuality, characters being canonically pansexual, people fighting for pansexual rep, people bringing awareness to pansexuality, people acknowledging that unlabeled multisexual characters could be pansexual, pansexual people not being forced under an “umbrella term” that they didn’t ask for and get lost under, pansexual people finally getting their seat at the table.
if that isn’t progress to you, if you think any of that is somehow hurting bisexuality, then there definitely is no “us”. I just really cannot imagine being so ignorantly self-centered that you truly believe that the visibility and support of a sexuality that isn’t yours is detrimental to that of yours.
pansexual and bisexual people and support/acceptance/visibility CAN coexist, and the only people hurting progress are those like you, who act like it’s one or the other.
all in all, anti-pan bisexual people make no sense and are actual human garbage and they really need to reign in their bigoted shit because I feel like people are gonna start accusing me of hating bi people for always calling bisexual people's anti-pan shit, and that is something I am not here for, seriously lmfao don’t even try me