look, I’m not a vet/vimes shipper at all (I only ship vetinari with being alive and healthy. he and margolotta are tyrant bffs) but I had this stupid idea about the three biggest smokers on the disc being forced to take an awkward smoke break together at some fancy party, and as we know from fifth elephant that margolotta basically considers winding up vimes a personal hobby, so you can’t tell me she wouldn’t 100% take this opportunity if it presented itself… 

adora’s just there for the #gossip (she marries MOIST VON FREAKIN LIPWIG, there’s no way she doesn’t secretly thrive off The Drama) 


(adora’s incredible fearlessness combined with her total lack of a self-preservation instinct is gonna give moist a heart attack one day)


when your bff is an over-competitive vampire ya gotta put up with a lot of shit… 

idk vetinari having a thing with grace speaker just seems too…obvious?? makes much more sense that margolotta is treating grace to a lavish sexy vampire dating lifestyle in return for crossword tips so she can kick vetinari’s ass every week.

m: I’m offended, havelock.
h: wounded, even?
m: hurt, havelock. 

the thing about the glorious people’s republic of treacle mine road is that havelock vetinari was a kid.

he’s cunning and clever and self-possessed even at that young age, but still, he must have been so excited! they were planning a revolution. they were going to change the future of the city. and he was going to be the assassin that delivered the final blow. at the time, he was not the kind of person to think cynically, “well, revolutions, they always come back ‘round again.”

except when snapcase became in change, the first thing he did was… well, you know the story.

i wonder how much of vetinari’s political philosophy was formed right then and there?

in the fifth elephant, it’s hinted that vetinari first met lady margolotta just after graduating from the assassin’s guild. so imagine some other 25th of may, several years after the first one, a while into the rule of lord snapcase — imagine a young vetinari sitting at a dinner table in uberwald with lady margolotta, telling her about john keel and the barricades and how he leapt into battle with a sprig of lilac held between his teeth.

imagine margolotta asking, “have you considered what would have happened if the revolution had put someone else in charge? chosen a different figurehead?”

imagine him saying no, no more figureheads, no more hidden centers of power, because that’s how they got into this mess in the first place. imagine him pausing to think, and then saying, “they say if you want a job done right…”

…you have to do it yourself.

remember that vetinari has never been much for dramatically flaunting his power in the open. he might have been quite happy to let someone else hold the title of patrician while he used his influence quietly behind the scenes.

but i think the glorious people’s republic of treacle mine road is the reason vetinari is patrician.

My rendition of Havelock Vetinari, another one of my Discworld favourites. Him and Sam Vimes are my all time favourtite duo.

It’s long overdue, but I guess I was procrastinating with this one, because I was afraid I’m gonna mess it up, but I’m quite pleased with it.

May 25th is coming, so I just had to include lilac somehow :)