have you seen my toy gun

Raised By A Gang

Title: Raised By A Gang-2

Pairing:Reader/Exo Mafia!au

Summary: After you parents passed you were raised by family friends,they just happened to be a gang.

Previous Next

Originally posted by kibaems

Kyungsoo Pov.
“Kyungsoo can we bake?” Y/N asked me from her seat at the kitchen island “I guess, depends, what do you want to bake?” I turned from my place at the stove leaving the stir fry on the burner. “Cookies!” the seven year old yelled, I chuckled leaning on the counter with my elbows “alright, what kind of cookies?” I asked. She brought her small hand up to her forehead, rubbing it in concentration “umm, what about the kind with the icing on it?” she said looking at me expectantly “sugar cookies?” I asked trying to confirm her choice “yeah those ones!” she exclaimed pointing at my face. “Alright sugar cookies it is, we will make them after I finish dinner alright?” she smiled and nodded, jumping off the stool and running off to find another member to play with. I continued to cook dinner, waiting for it to be ready so I could tend to Y/N’s needs for cookies.


As soon as I was finished I put dinner out on the table and got ready to call the guys and find Y/N. I walked into the living room to see if anyone was there and saw Y/N at the coffee table playing with something.

“Y/N what are you doing, dinners ready” I asked the seven year old facing the coffee table, “playing, wanna play?” she asked as she turned towards me, clutching a gun in her hand. “Y/N where did you get that?” I asked reaching forward to take the gun from her fingers. She turned keeping it out of my reach “no it mine” she held the gun to her chest. “Y/N give that to me right now” I said sternly, she kept the gun against her chest “but it’s mine, I found it” she said turning away from me. Just as her back turned I reached over her and grabbed it from her hands, she whipped around glaring up at me “hey give that back!” she said reaching her hands above her head. “Where did you get this?” I asked raising the gun above where she could reach, making sure it was absent of bullets which it wasn’t when she had it. “I found it, give it back!” she said jumping up and down trying to get it out of my hands “where exactly did you get it Y/N?” I asked again trying to keep her safe “Sehun’s jacket” she said crossing her arms over her chest. “Ok, but did you take it?” I tried again putting the gun back into the waistband of my pants. She looked down mumbling “I took it” she kicked her feet in the dirt “why?”

“Cus I see it on the tv shows and it looks cool” she mumbled still looking at her feet, “this isn’t a toy Y/N, you can’t play with things like this” I tried to be stern with her to make her understand that she could get seriously hurt. “Come on let’s go eat, can you go find the rest of the guys and tell them dinners ready?” I asked. She turned still staring at her feet “ok” she said toddling off.

After she left, I returned to the kitchen to put the plates out, watching Sehun come into the room. “ Y/N told me dinner was ready. Hey have you seen my gun?” he said, approaching me “yeah Y/N had it” I said putting the gun into his hands reaching into my pockets to retrieve the bullets from my pocket. “How it was in my pocket?” he said reloading the gun “yeah you can’t leave your jacket around where she can get it” he put the gun back into his pocket. “The jacket was on, I never took my jacket off” he said staring into my eyes “she got the gun from inside your pocket while it was on?” I asked, he looked confused for a minute “the little rugrat pickpocketed me! I would understand if it was like a candy but she got a gun out of my pocket without me noticing!” he said turning around as the other guys started to file into the room. “Whats going on?” Tao asked going to sit down at the table “Y/N took my gun out of my pocket! While it was on!” Sehun said exasperated “wait what?” Chen laughed “she pick pocketed my gun out of my pocket!” Sehun said. All the guys turned to look at him, looking shocked “wait really?” Kris asked laughing, “she seriously did!”

Just then Suho and Y/N walked into the room “what’s everyone talking about?” he asked looking around the room, simultaneously we looked down at Y/N. she looked back around the room giggling, holding Suho’s hand. “What’s going on?” she asked “Y/N did you take Sehun’s gun out of his pocket?” Kris asked. “Yeah” she said glancing down at her feet letting go of Suho’s hand “and did you take it out of his pocket while he was wearing it?” he continued asking “yeah” she said again. “Wait Y/N pick pocketed Sehun?” Suho asked looking down at the seven year old, she nodded. Kris crossed his arms over his chest, standing up straight and glancing at the little girl “while I admire your skill for slipping a gun from him, you can’t go around taking things like that, especially guns. Do you understand Y/N?” he asked being stern with her. She nodded her head again glancing back up at him, he quickly turned towards Sehun “and you” he said “ME!” Sehun exclaimed putting a hand over his heart “you are getting rusty if a little girl can take a handgun out of your jacket pocket, you need to do some more work on that” Kris said giving the younger trouble, Sehun nodded his head “yes hyung” he said. “Alright enough of this, dinner’s getting cold. Lets eat” I said trying to defuse the tension. Everyone sat down at the table dishing up their plates.


During dinner Sehun kept staring at Y/N curiously, like he was trying to figure something out. Finally he looked like he snapped and leaned towards her “alright Y/N how did you do it, how did you get my gun” he asked, she smiled her mouth full of stir fry “Jongdae taught me!” she mumbled around her food pointing at said man across the table. We all whipped around to look at Chen who was smiling guiltily in his seat “what, she would need to know eventually” he said. “Yeah maybe one day not when she is seven! Don’t you see she already took a weapon out of someone’s pocket!” Suho yelled at him “I didn’t think she would take a gun! I thought she would take something like spare change!” Chen put his hands up in surrender. Feeling the beginning of a fight coming on I got up quietly and walked over to Y/N crouching down next to her seat and leaning towards her ear “let’s go upstairs Y/N” I whispered in her ear, she turned her head away from the fight and looked towards me “ok.” she got up and grabbed my hand and followed me out of the room.

“Why were they fighting Soo?” she asked once we had made it to my room and were sitting on my bed “I’m not sure Y/N” she looked down at her fingers in her lap “is it because of me? Was it because I took Sehun’s gun? I just wanted to play” she said sniffling. “No Y/N it’s okay, you shouldn’t have taken his gun. It’s very dangerous and you shouldn’t play with it ok. It may seem like a toy buts its not so you can’t take it anymore ok.” she looked up at me with tearful eyes “and Jongdae shouldn’t have taught you how to do that, but now you know and we can’t change that, but you can’t take things anymore ok?” I said holder her small hands in mine. “Alright, can we still bake cookies?” she asked her eyes lighting up, I laughed as her thoughts simply just changed “I don’t think we can tonight, but maybe tomorrow, ok?” I said. Her smile didn’t even falter “ok!” she said jumping off the bed.

The door swung open quickly and we both turned to look at who it was, standing in the door was Chen with his head down and Kris and Suho standing behind him. Kris nudged him forward with his toe and coughed loudly “what do you wanna say Jongdae” he said using his leader voice. Jongdae rose his head slightly “I’m sorry Y/N for teaching you how to pickpockets and that you got in trouble for taking Sehun’s gun” he said looking down at the little girl before me. She smiled and jumped towards him “its ok Dae, Soo already talked to me about it. He said I’m not supposed to take things anymore, and that guns are dangerous” she said looking up at him. Kris crouched down putting his elbows on his knees and smiling at her “that’s right Y/N, good job. So no more taking things without permission, alright?” he looked her in the eyes trying to get her to understand “I know, can we go play now?” she jumped onto Kris looking at his face. He laughed standing with her in his arms “alright we can, lets go. Come on Jongdae” he said turning towards the hallway and walking out with Jongdae trailing behind him head still down. Suho watched them leave and turned towards me leaning on the door frame “thanks Kyungsoo, for watching out for her” he looked to me smiling lightly. I smiled back at him “Of course she’s all of our responsibility, and we all have her safety in mind first. But some of us are just a little too dumb to think that maybe a seven year old should not learn how to pickpockets” he laughed at my response.

Looking back out into the hallway smiling fondly “all very true. Alright lets go play with our munchkin.”

That was the second chapter of the Raised By A Gang series, sorry its late. I was having some family troubles and had been gone over the weekend, but its here now! Also we reached 100 followers! thank you guys so much!

BTS reactions: Underestimating your ability to use a gun.(Hyung line)

A/N: This is a scenario type reaction.I wanted to make it with every member, but it was getting kind of difficult, so i made it into two parts.I hope you like it and sorry for any mistakes made. Requests and Asks are open.🙂

Warnings: Weapon use.


 Jin took you to a shooting range near your apartment. You were so exited because you haven’t touched a weapon in awhile. 

  Jin picked up two guns and gave one to you.

“Now jagya, please be careful. Don’t forget that this is a weapon.”

“Do you need help with that?” another man came up to you two and asked

“Y/N is new to this ,so could you explain somethings to her.I don’t know too much about guns ,except for the basics.”said Jin introducing you to the instructor

“Yes of course.” he turned towards the dummies and explained somethings “Now these are the training dummies.The ones in front of you are for experts.”he laughed a bit “Even I can’t shoot them perfectly.”

  Jin pulled out his phone “I want to film your first time.” he smiled acting like a cute mother again. It was so nice of him to care about your safety ,but this wasn’t your first time holding a gun.

  So you decided to play along and then surprise them. You walked over to the easy once and listed the gun.

“So I should hold it like this?”

“No.Like this.” the instructor corrected your stance. Of course you knew it was wrong ,but you had to make sure you looked like you didn’t know a thing.

  You shot once and missed. The instructor praised you, on the second try you hit it.

“Let me try the others.” 

“They are really difficult remember. But ok.”

  You walked over to the pro section. Took a deep breath and the look in your eyes changed. You swung the gun in front of you, changing the magazine in one second and shooting every single one of the dummies ,right in the head.

“What..How?”the instructor looked at you with an open mouth.

“These are not pro practice dummies, they are too easy.”you placed the gun on the table and walked towards Jin smiling.

“Was I good, oppa?”

“Do you work for the secret intelligence service?!” he had a talk with your father later ,who explained everything to him.

Originally posted by jinful


 BTS decided to have an outdoor party and just relax for awhile.You were all sitting, eating and chatting, nothing much. You decided to switch your cola with a beer can. You walked over to the cooler, when you noticed the big plastic bag.

“Hey guys!”you yelled out 

“What is it jagya.” answered Yoongi

  You walked back to the 7 boys.

“We have a very big pile of empty soda and beer cans.What are we going to do about them?”

  Everyone started thinking.

“Hey how about we shoot them?”suggested Namjoon

“Shoot them?” said Jin “But we don’t have guns.”

“Don’t worry, Hoseok’s got this.” said Jimin

  Hobbi walked towards his car and pulled out a gun case out of it.

“I always carry this baby with me.”

  Everyone got exited. Jungkook ran to get the cans, Yoongi cleaned up the table ,so that you could placed the cans on it and Hoseok got everything regarding the weapon he had in his car.

  First came Jin as the oldest.

“Fighting hyung.” yelled everyone

  Jin hit 3 cans out of ten.After him was your beloved. Yoongi hit also 3. You were sitting on a chair, drinking your beer and watching them have fun. The most cans hit Jungkook. You were getting bored, so you decided to join them.

“Hey can I try?”you asked

“Be careful jagya.This is a loaded gun after all.” 

 You didn’t like the fact that they were underestimating you ,so you puffed out your cheeks.”I bet I can win against all of you combined.”

 The boys giggled a bit. “Give me the gun!” you said ,but Jin pulled it way from you

“Jagya you had alcohol.I don’t think you should be doing this.”Yoongi pointed at the empty beer can in your hand.

“Fine then, I don’t need your gun. All I need is mine.” at first the boys weren’t getting what you were saying, until you lifted your skirt lightly pulling a gun.

“Is that…”Hoseok stated 

“Glock handgun.” you threw the can in the air ,hitting it. After that you pointed it towards the other 10 cans hitting them perfectly as well.

“What just happened?”asked the boys

“In the gun world you are just babies and I am a master.”you placed your gun in your leg holster “I want a cola now…”you walked towards the cooler once more feeling proud of yourself.

Originally posted by jeonsshi


  Today Hoseok brought back the boys with him home. You had work to do ,so you just greeted them and walked back in to your room. After sometime you got a bit hungry ,so you decided to go to the kitchen and grab something to snack on. 

  The boys were talking about some kind of object, that you couldn’t see well from the door. 

“Hey Y/N.”said Namjoon

“Hey.”you pulled out a bag of chips “What are you guys doing there so secretly?” you placed a potato in your mouth ,making a loud crunching sound.

“Working on a new photo shoot .” answered Yoongi 

“What is it about?” you sat on the couch 

“Agent stuff.” Jimin pulled out a toy gun

“Oh wow. So you are practicing how to use a gun.” you were looking at it

“You can say so. The photographer wants to make it look as real as possible.”Namjoon explained 

“That thing is the most unreal toy gun I have ever seen in my life.” you got up ,so you could look at it closer 

“Jagya, it’s not like we have real guns.” Hoseok smiled 

“Yeah you are right.” you passed him the bag of chips “You don’t have guns.”

  You walked in one of the rooms you use to store things in and pulled out a case with BTS stickers on it.

  Placing it on the couch, you opened it hearing gasps coming from behind you.

“Jagya is that!?” 

“Oh come on. Don’t tell me you never looked inside.”you looked shocked at him

“Of course I haven’t, I thought that it was filled with paper or something like that.”

“Uh huh.”you still sounded a bit skeptical “Holding a gun is very easy actually. Your foot should be like this.” you showed them the correct positions and explained some key things they should note.

“The gun is lighter than I thought.” said Jungkook while he was looking at it.

“This one is my personal baby. And yes he is light , most handguns aren’t.” you took it from Jungkook’s hands.

“Pointing a gun must be difficult.” said Taehyung 

“Actually it isn’t.”you pulled out a chip from the bag Hoseok was holding “ Jimin do you mind throwing that bottle through the window?” you asked him

“I have a very strong throw.”

“The farther the better.” you smiled

  Jimin did as you said ,using all his strength.

“Wow you are strong.”you said impressed 

“I told you.”

“In moments like this where the target is moving or falling, you can do …” you lifted the gun and landed 3 perfect shots in the same place “…this.”

“WOW! I didn’t even see your hand move.” said Hoseok “Jagya you are like a real agent!”

“I will leave you to practice.”you stopped at the door and turned to look at the boys again “I suggest you close the window. Normal people will freak out because of the gunshot.” 

  After that you closed the door behind you , the last thing you heard was Hoseok’s overexcited self talking about you.

Originally posted by troiskims

Namjoon/Rap Monster

 You decided to clean the house a little bit, while Namjoon was still at work. You were about to go under the bed when your phone rang.

“Yes?” you asked

“Jagya, I have to get something from home. Can you open the door for me.” he said

“Ok. Wait ,Namjoon don’t you have keys?”

“Um, I forgot them at home.” he sounded kind of nervous

“No you didn’t ,I personally gave them to you this morning.”

“You did…”

“Yes I did.Where are the keys Namjoon?” you asked him with a piercing voice

“Y/N, hyung broke the keys!” you heard Jungkook yell from the other side of the phone

“He did WHAT!Namjoon is that true?”

“Yes…I am sorry.”

“Uhhh, I will open the door.”you hung up and continued to clean the house.

 Half an hour later, Namjoon rang the door bell and you rushed to open. You left him to close the door behind himself and rushed back because you were cleaning the floor and didn’t want the water to soak in.

 Namjoon walked to one of the rooms and picked up a small case with him.

“I am leaving jagya. If you need me I will be with the boys down to the shooting range.”

“Are you still using toy guns?”you asked him


“Ok have fun.”you were trying not to talk because of all the dust in the air.

 Namjoon left and it took you 15 minutes to finish up. You got up and looked at the clean house, you were so proud of yourself. The only thing left was for you to clean your favorite handgun.

 The case was on the bed. You picked it up and realized something.”This is lighter than I remember.” opening the case you found Namjoon’s toy gun.

 Fear struck you in seconds. You changed your clothing fast and ran out of the house. It took you a bit more that 10 minutes to arrive at the shooting range.

Once your eyes spotted Namjoon you ran towards him.

“NAMJOON WAIT!” you grabbed the case of of his hands “This one is yours.”you were trying your best to catch as much air as you could.”You got the wrong case.” you gave him his.

 You decided to stay and watch his lesson. The instructor was female and it seemed to you that she took a liking to Namjoon. She was really close.

“Excuse me.”you walked in between them “Hi, um I don’t think you need to be this close to teach him .”

“Sorry ,but who are you?”she looked at you with an arrogant fake smile

“This is Y/N.”said Namjoon

“His girlfriend.”you finished

“I see. Well Y/N, I don’t think you should be giving me tips on how I should do my job.”she came closer

“I bet I can shoot better than you!”you hissed in her face

“Oh really, let’s see that.How about a one on one?”

“I accept.”you turned around

“Jagya I don’t think you should do this.”he was concerned about you

“Y/N is fighting the instructor!”yelled out Jungkook and the boys gathered around you two.

“Are you ready, not like it matters.”she laughed out loud

 You opened the case and pulled out your own gun.”Of course I am.”



 In just a nanosecond you shot the gun out of her hand.” Beginners luck!”she hissed out.

“Oh really?”

 Your face stayed focused on her ,but your hand pointed at the dummies.The 10 of them hand holes in a short time.

“I am a professionally trained shooter.You don’t stand a chance.”

 The woman picked up her gun and ran towards the small building next to the shooting rang.

“Jagya?!”Namjoon’s mouth was open wide

“Be careful next time when you pick up your case.” you placed your gun back “Now let’s go home, I will teach you about the correct stance, because it seems to me you don’t know anything.”

Originally posted by the-rap-man

xillusionaire  asked:


😙 - what was the first charactor you ever rolplayed as?

the deep philosophical answer:

when does roleplaying begin? children naturally take on pretend-play as a way to explore adult life and prepare themselves for social interactions. it is innate and natural to them; even when they are left alone with no “toys,” they will still mimic adult actions they have seen using sticks and rocks, making a spatula to cook hamburgers or a gun to play cops and robbers. imitation is innately human; it’s what helps us as a species. as such, my first character to roleplay is probably beyond the reach of my adult memory. perhaps it was the father when we played house. perhaps it was as a big cat predator after watching a nature documentary. perhaps it was just mimicking my mother on the phone. it’s an answer lost to time.

the actual answer you’re looking for:

it was a neopet but i played it on the neopets forums his name was max and he was just a yellow xweetok but he had cloud legs i remember him fondly @ max im sorry i made u an orphan with a neglectfully busy adoptive father and a baby sitter that was useless and also that the mansion you lived in was haunted you didnt deserve that sweet child

I have not posted about the Tamir Rice case yet because it hurts. It hurts. My little brother and nephew will not be getting any kind of toy weapons this year; no NERF guns, no foam swords, hell we might even take their light-sabers away. There was no chance for Tamir Rice. That rookie pulled up to the scene and opened fire, no questions asked.

But whatever. Y'all will make some kind of excuse: ‘It looked like a real gun.’ But in an open-carry state, how is that even a problem? 'He pointed it at the officers.’ Have you seen the tape? But I knew from the moment they repeatedly reported this twelve-year-old BOY in the park as a 'YOUNG MAN’ that this case was heading south.

And if you’re wondering how far they’ll go to demonize black VICTIMS, the answer is: as far as necessary. If they can’t victim-blame you, they will go after your family and community instead. If they can’t call you a thug, they’ll call your father an abuser and your mother a criminal…and say your neighborhood was full of criminals. SMH. America: where a 29-year-old white person is a kid, but a 12-year-old black person is a young man, and a 17-year-old black person is an adult. Where a killer is a good kid, but a victim is no angel.

Deadpool Comic Appearances #42

DareDevil/Deadpool ‘97 Annual
Written by Joe Kelly, Art by Bernard Chang


Deadpool chats with Al as he packs for a trip to New York. Al doesn’t approve but Deadpool assures her he’s just keeping an eye on Typhoid Mary because she still owes him money. Meanwhile, DareDevil investigates the mental institution where Deadpool broke Typhoid Mary out.

Deadpool shows up in New York City with Weasel. After a brief incident with a cabbie who tried to cheat them where it seemed like Deadpool was going to kill the cabbie but instead gave him a noogie, Deadpool uses his holographic projector to appear as a balloon message deliver to break into Matt Murdock’s law firm to kidnap one of his partners.

DareDevil catches up with Deadpool on the roof.

Deadpool tells DareDevil that Typhoid Mary wants to kill DareDevil and everyone “whoever looked in your general direction, just for fun” and that he came to New York to warn DareDevil and to stop Mary’s killing spree. DareDevil decides that Deadpool is being honest.

They team up to find Typhoid Mary.

They come to the penthouse of the judge who ordered Typhoid Mary to be locked away in the hopes of finding Typhoid Mary. DareDevil and Deadpool split up to look for her.

(Wade, what are you doing?)

Typhoid Mary gets the drop on Deadpool. She kisses him and straddles him.

Deadpool tells her he’ll help her get Deadpool, but he reacts very negatively to her murder spree. He tells her he didn’t sign on for a murder spree, and that DareDevil is one thing because he’s one of them, but the others are civilians. Mary tells him she won’t go after others.

She then stabs him in the chest. DareDevil comes upon the injured Deadpool.

DareDevil and Deadpool head over to a mob group, the next target for Typhoid Mary. DareDevil again tries to warn Deadpool away from Typhoid Mary, and the fact that they’re about to head into a trap. Deadpool jumps in headfirst. They fight a small army. Daredevil stops Deadpool from using his gun, saying no killing, not to stoop to Typhoid Mary’s level. Deadpool says he is already. Daredevil concedes the point and tries again saying that Deadpool kills for money and this would be pro bono. Deadpool insists he kills for any number of reasons, and that he’s going to kill. Daredevil wonders if Deadpool just said he was going to kill him. Deadpool throws one of his swords, Daredevil ducks, and the sword hits a guy attack DareDevil from behind. The clear out a bunch of the thugs. Deadpool sends Daredevil ahead to find Typhoid Mary while Deadpool will clean up the rest of the thugs. He does so with a pair of grenades.

Typhoid Mary hits DareDevil with a massive sonic blast via club speakers. They have a confrontation, and DareDevil is about to strike her, but he is stopped by Deadpool, who punches him. Deadpool then stands back while Typhoid Mary reveals her past with DareDevil (she had been a hooker that DareDevil had knocked out a window by accident, the trauma of which made her what she now is and she demands he take responsibility for all the dark things she’s done since. Daredevil feels guilt for what he’s done, but refuses to take responsibility for her choices.

Deadpool steps in as their confrontation ends and scoops up Typhoid Mary, determining it’s over, and explains he set this up as a therapy session for Mary so she could face her demons

Back at home, Deadpool gives Blind Al the gift he promised he’d return with…Foggy’s seeing-eye dog!


Team-up: Weasel, Typhoid Mary, DareDevil
VERSUS: DareDevil, Typhoid Mary

[DareDevil]: Deadpool! What is that dirty MERCENARY doing–
[DareDevil]: You’re about as stealthy as a FREIGHT TRAIN. People actually HIRE you to SNEAK into places?
[DareDevil]: Is it the fact that I’m letting a known KILLER watch my back?
[Daredevil did not know about Deadpool’s healing factor]
[Daredevil]: I can hear the murmur of an ARMY inside. The clink of guns, BLADES, they could probably take a small country. They only barely outgun DEADPOOL

[Deadpool flip-flops between seeming to help both Typhoid Mary and DareDevil.  He told Typhoid Mary that he would follow her to New York to help her kill DareDevil. Then he meets up with DareDevil and tells him that he came to warn Daredevil and to STOP Typhoid Mary. When he is jumped by Typhoid Mary, Deadpool tells her]: I’m game to help SET UP the Redman. He thinks I’m here to save your SOUL or some JUNK…What a MAROON. When you gonna hit him with the COUP DE GRACE?
[Then she stabs him so he seems to be working with DareDevil again]
[After it seems like Deadpool just said he’s going to kill Daredevil and throws a sword at him]: I’m an idiot. Never should have TRUSTED him.
[Deadpool punches DareDevil out, but after the confrontation between Typhoid Mary and Daredevil, Deadpool admits he isn’t interested in off'ing Daredevil, and he only did this to help Typhoid Mary confront some of her personal demons]


[Deadpool is back at his place, packing for the trip to New York where he will meet up with Typhoid Mary. Blind Al disapproves]: DEADLY HORMONAL BACKUPS! You got TESTOSTERONE squirting out of your EARS, an’ it’s screwing up your BRAIN!

[Deadpool jokes to Blind Al about his “dangerous LIASON in the Big Apple”, but he does assure her] I gotta protect my investment. The crazy broad still owes me a bundle and I mean to collect [and also] It’s just business

[Deadpool]: Mary and I have recently become…uh…FRIENDS for lack of a better word
[DareDevil exclaims about how Typhoid Mary isn’t friends with anyone and]: She will BREAK you, BURN you, and DANCE on your ashes
[Deadpool has hearts around him]: Yeah….ain’t she DREAMY?
[DareDevil]: This is NOT a joking matter!

[DareDevil]: Poor SLOB. I wonder if he even REALIZES what he’s dealing with in Typhoid. Does he even CARE?

[Typhoid Mary gets the drop on Deadpool. She kisses him through his mask and straddles him. Deadpool tells her]: Don’t. I know enough CLICHES not to mix business and PLEASURE. Bleach and Ammonia, NEITHER. You’ve got a FINANCIAL DEBT to work off. You owe me BIG–DOUBLE in fact, since I went in for this little TRIP of yours–but a HAPPY employee is a PRODUCTIVE employee, so I’m game to help you SET UP the Redman.

[Deadpool tells Al that he made some progress with Typhoid Mary. Al asks]: “Progress? We talking show and tell here?
[Deadpool]: Nah…nothin’ like THAT. Purely MENTAL progress…I think. This QUASI- HEROIC stuff isn’t an EXACT SCIENCE, you know…but it’s a GOOD thing.


(Wade, no)
[Deadpool has his hand on Foggy’s butt when he’s pushing him up the building]

[Deadpool’s clothing] Have you seen my JAMMIES with the feet on them? The one with those comfy thin spots worn in the butt?

[While packing for his trip to New York, Deadpool is out of costume, wearing casual clothes. He puts on a ball cap. He wears the same sort of outfit when he returns home.]

TOYS: swords, rope, Gatling gun, big-ass gun, grenades

[DareDevil can 'see’ through Deadpool’s projector]: I sense a slight magnetic distortion around his body–HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTOR

[Weasel about Deadpool’s plan to get DareDevil’s attention]: Not that I’d ever complain to Wade’s FACE, but there MIGHT have been more SUBTLE ways to get the man’s attention. Of course, TACT isn’t one of Deadpool’s STRONG points
[After DareDevil and Deadpool head off, Weasel introduces himself to Foggy]: I’m WEASEL, Deadpool’s WHIPPING BOY.
[As Foggy and Weasel talk, Weasel realizes how dysfunctional his relation is with Deadpool, and he wonders if he could be DareDevil’s pal as well. That being said, he does help Deadpool get Foggy’s seeing-eye dog as a present for Al]

[Deadpool]: Hello DD…so *heh-heh* am I the only one who feels AWKWARD or WHAT?
[DareDevil]: Long time no SEE, Deadpool. Wish it had been LONGER
[Deadpool]: Yeah, although I would have said "long time no smell…’ but that’s just my charming, sophomoric way.

[Daredevil calls Typhoid Mary a monster, and Deadpool responds]: MAYBE…but we MONSTERS tend to STICK together. We FREAKS have to huddle up against the WORLD that made up…the world you so happily call HOME. Mary wasn’t BORN like this. She was MANUFACTURED. She’s someone’s FAULT.

[As Deadpool keep chattering, DareDevil says]: If only it was the EARS instead of the EYES
You and I are going to have a very serious disagreement if you don’t SHUT UP.
(Wade, what are you doing?)

[Deadpool tells Mary that he’ll help her get Deadpool, but reacts negatively when she talks about killing others]: YOU PSYCHOPATHIC WITCH! I didn’t sign on for THIS! I didn’t agree to come here so you could go on a MURDER SPREE! You said you were after DAREDEVIL! –Daredevil’s ONE thing. He’s a PLAYER, one of US. These OTHER chumps


[Deadpool, after the Daredevil/Typhoid Mary fight]: I never really wanted t'off you anyways. Believe it or not, this was one big THERAPY SESSION, and you played your part just fine–the window thing was sorta COOL…you must have been one TOUGH little brat–but OTHERWISE this went off without a HITCH.
[Daredevil]: You KNEW all this was going to happen?
[Deadpool]: No. I didn’t think she’d go after anyone but YOU…okay, there were a few hitches…
SOMEONE once pointed out to me…that I might have a RESPONSIBILITY to Mary. Now, I’m not saying that’s TRUE, but if it is–Then I figured the FIRST thing would be to try and help her face her DEMONS…not like those PANSIES in the PSYCH WARD do it– but the way FOOLS like us do…head on, sweating, and bleeding. Duking it out till only one is left standing. In this case, Mary was after the wrong demon. I had to help her see that. Yay team.
[DareDevil]: I’m not about to let you walk out of here with her, Deadpool. Not only is she a killler–!
[Deadpool]: Give me a break, HORNBOY. Dead bodies aside, you got as much out of this as SHE did. ABSOLUTION.
Now, you may not have much REASON to, but you gotta trust me. I’m gonna do the RIGHT thing. For REAL. We MONSTERS have our own way of doing things. So go…enjoy your newfound LIGHTNESS of being while we slink back to the SHADOWS…
[DareDevil]: Do you have ANY IDEA what that woman will DO to you? This is just the beginning. She chooses to live in darkness. She’ll drag you down with her
[Deadpool]: Probably…but maybe not. I’m not as far gone as you may think, Red. Maybe with time, both of us can walk into the light. Pretty LOFTY goals for a couple of FREAKS, huh?

[Daredevil calls Deadpool 'Carpool’. Deadpool:] Carpool. See, never heard THAT one before.

(First, Weasel looks so adorable here. Secondly, I know DareDevil was just pulling you up onto the roof, but how long are you guys going to hold hands?!)

[Daredevil]: Deadpool, wait! You must know this is a TRAP?!
[Deadpool]: Of course it is! So let’s not DISAPPOINT anyone. That would make us RUDE guests!
[Daredevil]: Why did I ever think this was going to be a good idea? Sidekicks…

[Deadpool to Daredevil] Don’t you think, oh horny one?
[Daredevil]: Whatever you say…oh ACERBIC one…
[Deadpool]: Ascerbic? I’m not from SERBIA…I’m ADORABLE