have you in my life

6

You will give the people of Earth an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you. They will stumble. They will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun, Kal. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders.

i learn to miss you all over again

but this time i’m
forgetting how to
get the words
down, forgetting how
i used to have
a body, forgetting
there’s a different way
to break. i learn there

is a different
love behind the old one
and this one sings
in a voice too big
for its lungs, aches
with a different strength: this
love is missing you. blue boxes and cold
feet and too much  s p a c e
between the letters and words
leaping to my nerve
endings that i didn’t know
were growing. drawing
the pain out of me like
smoke. this love is

loss
and letting go
and i am learning
how to curve its
edges. because it’s not
easy to leave this light, to
wrap my own hands around
my poem throat and
choke the words up
just because i want to hurt
the hard way. because i am learning love

is never
a lasting thing. i take june
and i crush it to dust, spend it
splintered and split and spitting
in the sputtering skin of a starling. i am such a
soft folded thing in
rosedrop hands. i am whisking
my junedust through this color blood. i
am fighting the fade. and blue boxes. cold feet. deep
breaths. sea green. your scent
in tatters.

i am overgrown and i am
glowing: my roots
hang loose with nothing to
love to, and that’s the worst part,
it’s the empty in me

(you slip into the
moon when you
sleep: i can feel the
beams of your love
on me still)

{ @leimakide }

Thoughts on Wonder Woman that literally nobody asked for:

  • I loved the little girl and her face and everything she stands for omggg
  • That scene?? where antiope trains teenage diana?? and hippolyta enters all furious?? and these ~50~ year old sisters just fight and make up and agree?? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP MATE OHMYGOD
  • Okay but as brutal as it was to watch antiope die, for me it was actually worse to watch the beginning- where the bullet flies for the first time, and strikes an amazon who’s jumping behind diana- and diana realizes the true horror of what’s happening. 
    • Like to see the effects of war on this paradise island
    • was
    • heartbreaking
  • steve’s scene in those pools. I AM JUST——- [insert incoherent mumbling/sobbing/shrieking here]
  • Diana is innocent and shining and beautiful. I would totally die for her. She will make Steve believe in Ares with the strength of her own belief. That boat scene slayed me a thousand times over.
  • Coughs and slides into a puddle on the floor about diana saying, “baby” bc i have never seen such pureness EVAH it turned my skin clearer than a fucking transparent sheet of plastic.
  • SAMEER
  • LET ME SAY IT AGAIN: SAMEER.
    • “I AM NOT THE RIGHT COLOR.”
    • just rip my heart out you little ball of wool and wanting and teeth, just tear it out, ohmygodddd
  • Also, ummmm, that scene. Right before Diana gets ice cream. bc there were sikh soldiers and SO MANY soldiers of color and I did not expect that but I was so glad to see them.
  • I- as much as I understand why steve and diana shared that night- didn’t really like it all that much. Honesttogod would’ve liked it better if they’d kissed on the tarmac. 
    • That said, the scene was shot. so. well. 
    • all dark and intimate and silent. PERFECTION.
    • Apologies to gifmakers though that scene must still be causing y’all nightmares lmao
  • “What I do is not up to you.”
  • ALSO ALSO ALSO: that scene where diana rides off with the horse- after the village- it was such a parallel to the scene in the beginning, where she’s a little girl and in the perfect world and everything is sunlit and bright and golden; but now diana’s raging and armored and fierce as any goddess, in a darker world; tired, and still, despite it all, lovely.
  • (Apparently if diana looks up and closes her eyes and thinks she’s at peace, everything will just become worse. This happens twice, jfc.)
  • “Maybe it’s not what you deserve.” 
  • “Maybe I don’t deserve it.”
    • Listen, I am many things but I am such a sucker for the way Steve Trevor doesn’t pin his hopes on Diana and walks away from her on that tower- he loves her; he does, but there’s no time for Diana’s crisis of faith here. And Steve tries to bring her back to him, but when she refuses- he has to go. He walks away. And he doesn’t hold it against her, because she’s from another world and another culture, but he doesn’t coddle her about it either.
    • And then Diana fights back and she fights forwards and Steve has faith in her even after all of it.
  • Diana knows paradise, okay? She knows paradise, she’s lived there for centuries. And Ares shows her this paradise and shows her what he plans and shows her what could be-
  • And Diana closes her eyes. Diana imagines.
  • And then Diana says, “I could never be a part of that.” and gives up her vision of paradise in favor of reality 
  • There was a meta talking about Diana wielding a sword and how it was the antithesis to her character bc it’s a masculine weapon and I’d just like to say that I went into this movie expecting to hate it and then that sword got fucking DESTROYED and it was such a cathartic moment
  • Chief and Sameer and Charlie resigning themselves to death. Together. Knowing there is no way out; deciding, eyes wide and open and hands clenched tight- they were shadows at the end, lit against flame, visible only through their silhouettes- and they just ripped up my heart into a thousand pieces I hate them all so much.
  • Chris Pine’s eyes have never been bluer than when he points a gun back at a cargo of bombs and swallows. He looked so young; looked so afraid; but he kept those blue eyes open and pulled that trigger and idk man but he is the son of my heart and I will never let him go, like ughhhh.
  • But tbph that scene where Isabel Maru’s mask rips off- was just. so- poignant.
    • beneath the plastic; beneath the half-human half-machine monstrosity that is isabel’s face; beneath this person who is a villain in the purest sense of the word- 
    • there is a scar.
    • there is fear, and loss, and just- mortality. 
    • And Diana sees, even in the depths of a grief deeper than anything she’s ever known, and she chooses not to kill Isabel. 
  • Diana chooses to kill Ares with his own power, which was an amazing choice. Also that scene where she fights him with the lasso on the rooftop? I will never get over it. NEVER.

So, like, this movie is fucking iconic and also fucking amazing and I am fucking ended ohmygod.

  • Ravenclaw (right after they've graduated hogwarts): You know now, as far as society is concerned, we're adults.
  • Hufflepuff: Yes! Isn't it exciting?
  • Ravenclaw: Adults who have to make their own decisions about their lives.
  • Hufflepuff: It's so freeing, isn't it?
  • Ravenclaw: I have no idea what I'm doing and I want to go back to school.
  • Hufflepuff: ...
  • Ravenclaw: I don't want to do classes or anything, I just want someone to cook for me and tell me when meals are so I don't forget and basically be able to ignore life's responsibilities.