have you ever seen a cow

Musical Shitpost

this is what happens when i watch mama mia with my mum and we both cry at meryl streep

team voltron love musicals. this is a fact. but who loves what


  • keith loves legally blonde
  • he can’t help it
  • the music is all so fun
  • and they all have such a good time and no one ends up hurt except a couple assholes
  • every time he watches it he starts to sing the song what you want at lance behind his back
  • no one minds
  • hunk and him do a perfect duet of serious


  • this man loves les mis
  • he doesn’t hide it either, his jean val jean impression is spot on
  • sometimes he’s found doing his eyeliner singing both parts of a duet to the mirror
  • often it’s the confrontation
  • he isn’t good at it
  • he cries whenever a character dies too which is hard
  • because like
  • they all die


  • you do not wanna get between this woman and wicked
  • she used to love hamilton but as soon as she heard no good deed she fell in love
  • she can hit all the high notes especially in deying gravity
  • she tried to make keith duet what is this feeling but he couldn’t learn the lyrics
  • sometimes she and lance sing popular together and lance kills it as glinda
  • she refers to the mice as munchkins sometimes


  • when lance is sad he sings my favourite things and it chers him up without fail
  • he has a playlist of his favourite sound of music songs to go to sleep listening to
  • spoiler alert: it’s all of them
  • he convinced the team to do do re mi together and it almost made him cry when they did
  • once when they found a planet where the hills actually were alive he almost died imitating julie andrews
  • he still says it would have been worth it


  • i don’t know if you know this but pidge and heathers go together like shiro and suffering
  • candystore is her anthem
  • and whenever lance pisses her off which is a lot she belts out yo girl around the ship
  • losing rover put her into full on i am damaged mode for weeks
  • lifeboat makes her sad because it reminds her how much of her family she’s lost. sometimes she’ll be alone in her room crying thinking how much she’s lost. no one knows.
  • dead girl walking reprise puts her back in a good mood though so it’s fine


  • i bet you thought this would say high school musical
  • everyone loves highschool musical lance isn’t a basic bitch
  • although he does love it
  • lance‘s favourite is obviously mamma mia and i’m not just saying that because i just watched it
  • it has meryl streep in it for christsake
  • and abba
  • dancing queen is his anthem but lay all your love on me is pretty awesome to him too
  • winner takes it all still makes him cry with pride
  • he’s sung S.O.S about both hunk and keith at different times and same times. they are so perfect for it
  • the musical both makes him incredibly happy and incredibly homesick. use only when needed


  • avenue q of course
  • this was the first musical he’d ever heard and every one since has been a disappointment in comparison
  • he sang everyone’s a little bit racist to allura when she was having her issues with keith
  • it didn’t help
  • he sang if you were gay when keith first got his crush on lance
  • it didn’t help
  • when lance had to handle keith’s bonding moment issue he sang mixtape
  • it helped.


  • grease all the way
  • alone at a drive in moo-vie is his favourite
  • beauty school dropout also resonates deep in his heart
  • this is the only musical the poor cow has seen, he saw it when lance watched it with shiro
  • grease is the word was a spiritual experience

im sorry this is what i made tonight


  • zarkon likes Hairspray purely for Miss Baltimore Crabs
  • haggar enjoys chorus line surprisingly
  • shay adores RENT in every way
  • the blades of marmora watch rocky horror regularly and each have assigned roles to sing. ulaz was dr frank n furter
  • lotor is high school musical 2. he wants fabulous.
  • varkon likes shrek the musical.
A Change In Time (Bucky x Reader)

A Change In Times (Bucky x Reader)

Contains slight angst and a lot of fluff

Based on the request by @hotemotionalmess (sorry I got carried away and turned it into a holiday thing);

‘Can I request a Bucky x reader where the avengers are on a super long car trip and they’re still in the stage of “I’ve got the biggest crush on you but I won’t say anything” and they end up being jammed in the backseat together, reader falls asleep on Buck’s shoulder, he listens to her music, and cute moments like that ending with a unintentional but super sweet kiss from Bucky?’

-Written by @toastburninglucy

Sunlight filtered down in beams through the smudged window and warmed your bare arms as you reached up, feeling the slight pull of the seatbelt bite into your skin, and cracked the window open. Sweat clung to the back of your neck as you lifted your hair off it and tied it into a bun before picking up your cards. “You going to tell us where we’re going yet, Stark?” You called over the top of your seat, craning your neck to see the top of his spiked hair reaching up above his headrest

“What kind of fun is a road trip if you know where you’re going?” He replied, smirking at you in the rearview mirror

“This is technically bordering on kidnap,”

“As if anyone would want to kidnap you…”

You shook your head with a smile and swiveled in your seat to face Steve and Bucky who were across the aisle waiting. “Well then Barnes, what’s it going to be?”

Bucky shook his head and took another card from the pile. You had never been into card games, but you were in love with this one. Steve had told you it was called rummy; even though you still didn’t really know what you were doing, it was fun to hang out with him and Bucky without talking about missions for a change. “I can’t believe I’ve never played this game before,” You commented as you reached across to take a card from the pile between you all “it’s brilliant.”

“You know, I never thought when I came out of the ice that I’d be able to teach anyone anything. I figured I’d always be the person who was one step behind,” Steve said, placing his sunglasses on his forehead with a sad smile

“Who taught you?” You asked, drawing a card from the pile and then dumping another

“My mom,” He replied, his smile brightening as he spoke “she had to work late a lot when I was a kid, and because I wasn’t exactly the healthiest I didn’t sleep much. So, when she came in after a long shift we’d sit on the floor and play this until I fell asleep…”

Steve trailed off and stared at his cards for a moment, so wrapped up in the pleasure of the past that the present escaped him. Bucky put a hand on his friend’s shoulder and bowed his head “I miss her too.”

Whenever you heard Bucky talk about Sarah Rogers you felt the love and respect for the woman seep delicately through his words. In many ways, she had been like a mother to him too. “She’d be proud of you both,” You said truthfully, leaning forward and setting your winning cards down on the flip down table “even though I did just kick both of your asses at rummy.”

You all laughed, and when you felt Bucky’s gaze settle on you you found yourself blushing so furiously that you had to look away. Yesterday you had both ended up crammed in the back of the bus next to each other and you had tiredly rambled to him about any and everything until you had drifted off to sleep and let your head rest on his shoulder. He hadn’t mentioned it since, which was irritating you slightly because waking up with your head on his shoulder and feeling his arm around you was all you could think about. As you shuffled the cards for the next game, you wondered if he thought about it too.  


“Okay team, pile out!” Tony shouted as he pulled the door to the back of the bus open

Everyone piled out slowly and stretched their aching limbs as they took in their surroundings. A five day journey had lead you here, and you had to admit you were impressed. “A lake house?” Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow “What are we, horny teenagers?”

Tony shrugged and slid his sunglasses onto his face. “It’s one of my lesser known properties; it actually belonged to my Mom’s side of the family and it’s still technically in their name.”

“It is beautiful, I have never seen an area of Midgard akin to this,” Thor interjected, cracking his spine into place

It was breathtaking. The house looked like it had just been painted yesterday, and the rolling lawns surrounding it lead down to the most beautiful lake you had ever seen. It glistened in the low sunlight and was so perfectly blue that you half wondered if Tony had put dye in it. You walked slowly across the gravelled drive up onto the porch and pushed the door to the house open. “Holy cow,” Bucky muttered from the back of the group.

Holy cow indeed. It was like stepping into the pages of a magazine; grand mahogany tables dotted about the place, some holding vast crystal vases which were filled with the most beautiful white chrysanthemums you had ever seen. Most of Tony’s properties were quite contemporary, so this was a real shock. You stepped into the hallway and took your shoes off out of respect for the house, your mind’s eye imagining young Tony running around with Howard and his wife chasing him as he cackled with glee. It felt like a place you should be in with family, and you thought of yours with a small pang. This was the kind of place you would have vacationed at as a kid with them; now you were the only one left. “Y/N?” Tony clapped a hand on your shoulder, pulling you from your thoughts.

You looked around and realised everyone had gone. “You going to pick a room?” He asked, gesturing to the sweeping carpeted staircase “If you’re not quick you’ll end up with the one with a garden view.”
A smile crept onto your lips “I think I’ll live, Stark.”


That evening after you had all stuffed yourselves with pizza and played so much table tennis in the games room that you could still hear the ball hitting the table hours after you’d stopped playing, the house fell into silence as everyone fell asleep. That is, everyone but you.

You sat on the blue cushioned window seat looking out onto the garden as it was doused in moonlight. Out here there was no light pollution, the sky could be itself for a change. You had been itching to explore outside for a while, but you were worried about waking everyone up. It wasn’t often that you all got a good night’s sleep, and you’d hate to ruin that for everyone. Eventually you lost the battle with yourself and you crept from your room and through the dimly lit halls until you found your way downstairs and out the back door. As you inhaled the cool night air with half lidded eyes you smiled and made your ware barefooted across the grass and onto the sandy bank of the river.

You looked across the moonlit water and allowed yourself to think of your family. A tear tracked down your cheek as you thought of the people who had loved you that you still loved, people who no longer existed. They were shadows in the corners of your memory, always present and waiting. Perhaps that’s why you related to Steve and Bucky so much- you knew what it was like to have no one. Your heart contracted painfully at the thought of your mother and suddenly you were crying because you couldn’t quite remember the sound of her voice.


You turned around to see Bucky stood behind you, regarding you with a hesitant smile. “Hey doll,” He whispered “mind if I join you?”

You shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed as you wiped your eyes with the edge of you sleeve. Bucky sat heavily next to you with a gentle sigh. Neither of you spoke. Somewhere in the distance crickets held riveting conversations with one another and chirped with glee. Everything was peaceful.

“Does it stop hurting, do you think?” You breathed into the darkness “Losing the people you love?”

Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his recently cut hair. He wanted so desperately to tell you that the pain would ease into nothingness. He wanted to say that he didn’t still dream of the smiling faces of the people he had left behind, only to wake in the morning and realise they were all gone. He wanted to tell you that you were beautiful even when you were crying, and that with the exception of Steve, you were the only person he dreamt of that was still here.

He said none of these things, and instead told you he didn’t know. Which was the truth. “I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want you to sit here crying though, even if they can’t tell you that themselves.”

You looked up at him. “What do you think they’d want me to do?”

Bucky exhaled with a chuckle “Well, that I can’t help you with. I’m not very good at filling my time nowadays,”

“What would you back in the 40’s?”

He shook his head, looking to the ground with a smile. The wind gently blew your hair back from your face and you closed your eyes to relish in its coolness. “I’d probably be out with a dame,” Bucky admitted “that was my thing. I’d knock on her door at six with flowers and we’d walk down to the dance hall; it was usually on a Sunday, the tickets were half price and I wasn’t exactly made of money. We’d dance in the middle of the floor until the owner booted us all out, and then I’d make my move.”

You laughed and wiped your face clean with a tissue you had secreted in your pocket. “What was your move?”

Bucky looked a little proud and embarrassed at the same time “I’d get Steve to take her coat home as well as his so she’d get cold on the way home and I could lend her my jacket.”

You couldn’t contain your laughter at the thought of Steve trying to sneak home with some poor girls coat in his arms. And then you felt a strange longing to be one of those poor girls, walking down the street in Bucky’s jacket with aching legs and a joyous smile at the lingering feeling of his touch on your shoulder from that last dance. “You know, I’ve never been to a dance,” You confided “not even at school.”

“Really? I refuse to believe that.”

“I’m afraid it’s true; you see Barnes, underneath my badass facade, I’m really quite a dull person.”

Bucky’s eyes sparkled as they  “You aren’t to me.”

Somehow, you knew he wasn’t lying.


The next couple of days passed in a blur of barbeques, laughter, and throwing people into the lake. You had never seen the team so relaxed, especially Bruce, who seemed to be in his element reading on a lounger beside the lake. Every evening you would walk down to the lake, and most of the time Bucky would join you. You would find yourself willing away the happy hours of the day, waiting for the sun to set so you could sneak out onto the lake shore and talk with Bucky until it rose again. “You and Barnes sure are hanging out a lot recently, Y/N,” Natasha observed as you both ducked behind a bush, hiding from the others in the midst of a water gun fight “what’s going on there?”

You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks as you looked around you to check the area was clear. This was a good spot, you both had a slight advantage here. “Nothing, Nat. We’re just friends.”

Nat peeked over the top of the bush and quickly shot at Rhodey before ducking down again as he looked around in confusion. “I don’t need to be an expert in reading people to know that’s a lie,” She smirked, pumping up the pressure on her gun

You rolled your eyes, ignoring the smile on your face “You can believe whatever you want to, Nat.”

“Oh believe me, I do.”

You were about to squirt her with your gun when Rhodey suddenly appeared at your side and shot you both. “Ha! Don’t mess with War Machine!”

“Can you call yourself that outside of the suit?”

He paused for a second and thought. “I mean, I guess so.”

You shot him in the shoulder and ran, cackling to yourself the whole way.


That night after you had showered the team decided they wanted to go and some new movie that was being released at midnight. At three o’clock they were all ready to go, deciding they were going to hit an arcade or something before they went to the screening. “C’mon, Y/N, why are you passing up the chance to see the new Star Wars?” Sam groaned

“Because I still haven’t seen the first ones?”

Sam looked mildly disturbed at this information and then smiled “Well, if you’re sure then I guess it will just be you and Frosty here tonight.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Bucky’s staying too?”

He nodded and winked at you “Don’t you kids go too crazy, okay?”

You punched him on the shoulder lightly and grinned “See you later, Sam.”

Sam ran out the door with everyone else, leaving you stood alone in the hallway with your heart beating so loudly you were sure they’d be able to hear it in space. This was crazy, why were you nervous? You’d been spending the past few nights talking to him without pause, why would this be any different?

You walked into the kitchen and looked at the calendar. Sunday July 20th.  You’d been there for four days, but it felt more like months. If you were perfectly honest with yourself, which you always tried to be, you weren’t looking forward to going back to ordinary life. Who did in the middle of a holiday though? You opened the cupboards looking for something to satisfy your appetite and when you eventually moved onto the fridge you found a half eaten pizza which was calling your name. As you took the box over to the table you heard footsteps in the hall and your heart leapt into your mouth. This was ridiculous, it was only Bucky for crying out loud! You needed to pull yourself together.

He walked into the kitchen with his jacket slung over one shoulder. “I need to go out for an hour, will you be okay on your own?” He asked in a strange voice which made you feel like a twelve year old being left home alone for the first time

You took a bite of the pizza and shrugged, trying to hide your disappointment. “Sure, take all the time you need.”

With a curt nod he walked out of the room, making your heart sink as you listened to the front door close and a car pull off the drive. Maybe you should have gone to see Star Wars, at least then you wouldn’t have ended up alone. You picked up your pizza and trudged off to your room in the low light, resolving that it would be better to sleep away the time than sit around moping. 


The sky was just starting to fall asleep when you finally woke up. You yawned and sat up with a gentle stretch, feeling the kind of refreshment you only get from a really good nap. It was then that you noticed it sitting on the pillow next to you; a thick cream envelope with your name wrote on it. You opened it cautiously and gently pulled out the piece of paper inside it.

‘I’ll pick you up at six.’

You reread the sentence and turned the paper over in your hands to look for something else. But it was only that single sentence. Was this a prank? If you opened the door and there was a clown outside it again, then you were going to kill Tony. You looked at the clock next to your bed, 5:55pm. You hopped out of bed and quickly threw some clean pyjamas on and waited. At 6pm exactly, there was a gentle knock on your door. Preparing yourself mentally, you put your hand on the doorknob and opened it.

Bucky stood in front of you looking proud and nervous all at the same time. You looked him up and down feeling slightly confused as you realised he was wearing a suit. “These are for you,” He said, handing you a bouquet of white flowers with a shy smile.

You took them from him in a daze. “Bucky, what’s going on?”

“Isn’t it obvious, doll?” He grinned gently ushering you into the hallway and grabbing your jacket from your room before closing the door “I’m taking you dancing.”

You looked at him with wide, overwhelmed eyes as he gently placed your jacket over your shoulders. “But I… I’m in my pyjamas.”

Bucky shook his head and offered you his arm, which you took gently “Don’t worry, you look great.”

You walked down the hallway with him half wondering if you were still dreaming, clutching your flowers tightly in your left hand as Bucky led you through the house and out the back door into the garden. “Where are we going?” You asked as you slowly began to realise what was happening

“You’ll see.

You walked through the gardens farther than you had gone before until you came across a bandstand by the lakeside which was wrapped delicately in strings of lights. Bucky reclaimed his arm and walked over to it, beaming as he turned around and looked at you. “What do you think?” He asked, looking at you expectantly “I know it’s not exactly a dance hall, but I-”

“Its perfect,” You breathed, taking in the scene before you as your jacket slipped off your shoulders and crumpled to the ground behind you

Bucky smiled and offered you his hand as you walked towards him. You took it with a smile and walked up the three short stairs with him. “Now, I err… I don’t exactly have any music.” He said, looking embarrassed “It was all on my phone but it died just before I knocked on your door.”

You pulled your phone out of your pocket “Would my music do?”

“Of course.”

You walked over the the small speaker by the stairs and connected your phone to it. After a moment, your Otis Redding album began to play. ‘A Change Is Gonna Come’ echoed throughout the bandstand and you nervously walked over to Bucky, who for the first time looked like he didn’t have anything planned. “Shall we?” You whispered

Bucky swallowed and nodded, gently taking your hand in his and placing another hand on your waist. A moment lingered and then you were gently waltzing around the bandstand. Your eyes never left Bucky’s and after a minute the sheer brilliance of it struck you so much that you had to smile. “I thought you said you hadn’t danced,” Bucky said with a grin as he spun you

“I said I’d never been to a dance, I never said I couldn’t.”  

You pressed closer together until your head was practically resting on his shoulder. You closed your eyes and breathed in his smell and realised that you were ever so slightly in love. Bucky twirled you again, and when you saw the look on his face you realised for the first time that he felt the same way. Then suddenly you were kissing him, and it felt every kind of right.


The team arrived home at 3am, a couple of them a little drunk and most of them geeking out. “Y/N? Bucky? We’re home!” Steve shouted into the empty house

When no reply came he began to look a little worried. “Check the garden,” Nat said through a yawn “they’re usually out there this time of night.”
Steve didn’t bother to ask what she meant and headed out to the garden looking for you both. After a few minutes he reached the bandstand and saw you both out there, dancing slowly together with your eyes closed. Steve laughed and shook his head “About damn time,” He muttered, picking up your jacket from the grass and putting it over his arm as he turned and started heading back to the house. Times hadn’t changed that much, he thought to himself as he heard you both laughing quietly behind him, only this time Steve had a feeling that Bucky would still be dancing with the same dame next Sunday.

(Credit to @toastburninglucy the writer of this request if you wanna send love, leave a comment (not an ask to this blog as she won’t see it), or go over to her blog and send her the love there. Thank you for taking on the request, I really loved this. - Rosalee)

Everything Tagging list: @girl-next-door-writes @22ifyoukeepmenextoyou @t3-daria-todo @sebby-staan @skylark50 @thegoddamnfeels @gillibean9 @sergeantjamesbarnes107th @full-of-sins-not-tragedies  @fxcknbarnes @broncos5soslover @say-my-name-assbut  @fangirlwithasweettooth @buckyismybbz  @charlotteblanden @wholockiand@momscapris @mashroom-burrito @firewolfkelly @winterboobaer

@mychocolatemints @avengingthesupernatural @usannika @itzelreader @tillytheinvisibleshadow @tomhollahd @imagining-marvel-soldier @oh-my-gravity @what-the-ducky-bucky @heyitssilverwolf @katiegrace122 @newtmas-newtella @sillylittlemary  @buckyhawk @codexofwitches @the-the-sound-of-the-bees-blog @songsforsentences @leahneslen21@whateveriwantworld @itsblehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh @cassiebarnes  @that-one-jewish-elf @tardispandagirl  

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Snog Me Senseless

Anonymous said:  Hi could you write a imagine where harry or Niall are frat boys and make it super cute and like fluffy and funny plzzzzzz they are my weakness and the other boys are there too but harry or Niall either one is like the leader.

A/N:  Thank you for the request!  This is my debut in the land of AU, so please be kind.  Lots of fluff in this one.  

You’re peering at the map on your phone screen as you come around the corner, trying to find the professor’s office for your meeting about adding his Genetics course to your schedule.  Your advisor has told you that one more class will be too much, but you are determined to finish your biology degree in three years instead of four.  This building is such a labyrinth.  The room numbers are getting larger now, but they are all odd numbers, and his office is room number 154 which is definitively even.  

But you’re running late, and looking down at the layout of the building on your phone, trying to figure out where you are when WHAM!  you run smack into a solid wall, sending your books and phone flying in different directions.  The force of the impact nearly knocks you over, so you reach out, pedaling with your arms to try to grasp at something so you don’t fall flat on your ass in the middle of the hallway.  Strong arms wrap around your waist, pulling you into a hard chest.  

Gasping, you brace your hands on the solid warmth in front of you, looking into the greenest eyes you’ve ever seen.  

“Oi!” the softest lips ever exclaim, “Are you okay, pet?  Didn’t see you there.  Shouldn’t have been texting my mate.”  

Keep reading

Reasons to go see the new Power Rangers movie

I’m a child of the 90′s. Power Rangers reigned supreme in my household when I was growing up. And when my brother, who is 9 years younger than me, started getting into Power Rangers, it was a way for us to bond. So obviously I was excited about the reboot.

Originally posted by lunarskye

Listen, I might be biased because of my nostalgia, but damn did I love this movie! Here’s why everyone should leave their house immediately and go watch this film.

1. Diverse Cast: I don’t really need to say it, but this cast is insanely diverse! So many different groups are represented in this movie! Every ranger is of a different ethnicity, which is acknowledged and appreciated by each member! And, beyond the surface differences that can be seen, there is an LGBTQ ranger and a ranger who is on the autism spectrum. One of my favorite parts is that we don’t need to speculate whether or not he might have special needs - he just comes right out and says it. “I’m on the spectrum…It’s a diagnosis.” And while he might have been protected a little more by the others, they didn’t try to baby him which is common for a lot of people who don’t often interact with people who have special needs. Instead, they utilized his strengths and worked with him to build his weaknesses.

Originally posted by comics

2. Fantastic Acting: I gotta give a shout out to the actors who played the rangers. Holy cow, were y’all amazing! I’m honestly stunned with Becky G’s performance and how well she did, but that’s mostly because I haven’t followed her music career and seen what she can do. Girl, you were so good! And I believe that this was the first movie some of them have ever acted in. I’ll admit that the script was a little corny sometimes, but honestly it was 10X better than any script from the tv show, and the actors played them SO GOOD!!!!!

Originally posted by phaenix

3. Great Chemistry: Some of these friendships felt so authentic and beautiful to me. A few interactions didn’t really excite me (Zack & Jason, mostly), but the rest of them held their own. Kimberly & Trini and Jason & Billy, for instance. The two girl rangers had such amazing chemistry together and every scene they did felt like they’d been friends their whole lives. There’s a lot of people shipping those two, but I’d be genuinely upset if anything less platonic happened between them. I just want Kimberly to be the girl friend that Trini comes to for girlfriend advice because their friendship is so great! Jason & Billy really were the BROTP of the movie though. The way Billy always looked to Jason for any minor thing had me laughing my ass off.

Originally posted by weaseltotheface

4. A Really Good Bad Guy: Anyone who’s ever seen the tv show knows that Rita Repulsa was kind of lame. She did the same thing every episode and hardly ever left her evil lair to do her own dirty work. Elizabeth Banks as Rita Repulsa was actually kind of a scary bad guy. She wasn’t all talk, and the girl wasn’t afraid to get nasty. I can appreciate that in a villain.

5. Nostalgia: If you were also a big fan of the tv show, this movie has loads of amazing easter eggs for you! I was literally in the theater chanting “Megazord! Megazord! Megazord!” Not to mention Alpha’s “aye aye aye,” and the songs being played, and just ugh! My childhood heart was hurting.

Originally posted by originalyellowranger

6. Potential Sequel: The ending was set up for a sequel (wait for the credits and an extra scene will come) and honestly it has so much potential for what could come of the power rangers! I need it, and frankly, it hasn’t done that well at the box office so without your support there might not be a sequel at all!

All in all, this movie was really good and I would just love to share it with everyone and tell them to love it!

An explanation + compilation post of Jin’s (bad) dad jokes

So I don’t know if this is done already, but we all know that Jin loves to make everyone laugh with his good or bad old dad jokes. To appreciate his effort, I decided to make a compilation of the jokes I personally think are, well yeah, ‘funny’. Since most of these jokes are in Korean, they sound actually funnier in Korean than when they are translated to English, which is why I also provided a short explanation so that non-Korean speakers will understand and maybe even appreciate ;) Jin’s dad jokes as well! :) So let’s get started!

(I am not a native speaker of Korean, as I am only learning it as a second language! Therefore, if there are some mistakes in this post, please don’t bash me, and correct me nicely okay ;-;)

Joke 1:

Q: What did the dog say to the wall?

A: Wolwol.

This joke is so bad but okay ;-; Non-Korean speakers might not be able to understand this joke at first. But it’s actually a very easy joke to understand. Wolwol (월월) is the sound a dog makes in Korean, and the word sounds exactly like wall. i srsly wanted to hit seokjin it’s such a bad joke omfg

Joke 2:

Q: What’s it called when God gives birth to a child?

A: A newborn child (= in Korean: 갓난아이)

To understand this joke immediately, you actually need to have some knowledge of Korean. This because the answer is a Korean wordplay. I’ll try to explain this as clear as I can. 

The word 갓난아이 literally means ‘a newborn child’. 갓난 (’gatnan’) means ‘new born/just born’, and 아이 means child. See? The 갓 (’gat’) in 갓난 (new born) sounds like the word God in english, doesn’t it? ^^ It’s a typical Korean wordplay and this joke is actually one of my favorites lmao. 

EDIT: I forgot to mention that 갓난아이 can also be translated to ‘the child that came from God.’ Here, 갓 means God, and 난 comes from 나다 (pronunciation = ‘nada’), which literally means ‘to come out of’. Another reason why this joke is a Korean wordplay (and is actually much funnier than people would think in the first place, hehe) 

Joke 3: 

Q: How does a cow laugh?

A: U-haha (= in Korean: 우하하)


Anways *cough cough*, some of you might have seen the English translation of the answer as ‘muhaha’, which would make more sense in English ofcourse, but not in Korean. It’s a simple joke, really. The answer in Korean is 우하하. It consists of 우 (pronunciation = u), which means cow, and 하하, which is just haha. i rlly laughed too hard at this joke yoongi would be furious at me

Joke 4:

Q: What’s the color of a hamburger?

A: Burgundy

Hamburger in Korean = 헴버거 

Burgundy in Korean = 버건디 

These two words just have a similar pronunciation lmao, especially in Korean. You actually have to hear it to understand it better. Watch THIS video to hear Jin saying it himself and to see Jimin laughing like crazy lmao.

Joke 5:

Q: What’s dead sesame called?

A: Freckles (= in Korean: 주근깨)

Another Korean wordplay, lol. To explain it shortly, the Korean translation of ‘dead sesame’ is 죽은 (= English: dead) 참깨(= English: sesame). If you shorten 죽은 참깨 (pronunciation = ‘chugeun chamkkae’), you will get 죽은깨 (pronunciation = ‘chugeunkkae’), which sounds exactly the same as the Korean word for ‘freckle’, which is 주근깨 (also prunounced as chugeunkkae).

Joke 6:

Q: What time is it in India? (= in Korean: 인도에 몇 시야?)

A: Indonesia (= in Korean: 인도네시아)

This one is so LAME but actually so funny ohmygod. I put the Hangul of Indonesia above, which is 인도네시아. The Korean translation of India is ‘인도’ (pronunciation = ‘indo’). In Korean, the 네시아 (pronunciation = nesia) in Indonesia sounds exactly the same as 네시야, which literally means: it’s 4 o’clock. So in Korean, Indonesia could also literally mean: ‘It’s 4 o’clock in India’, hence why the answer to this question is Indonesia.

To put it in a short and simple way:

인도네시아 = Indonesia

인도 네시야 (Which has a very similar pronunciation to 인도네시아, Indonesia) = It’s 4 o’clock in India. 

Sooooo…. that was it basically! Ofcourse, Jin has probably made much more dad jokes, but these are the ones which were funny to me lmao. I hope you guys understand his dad jokes better now, and if you have a question about it, don’t hesitate to ask me! ;)

Joke 7:

Q: When a pine tree gets angry?

A: Toothbrush (칫솔; pronounce as ‘chitsol’)

칫솔 is a shortened slang for ‘angry pine tree’ (솔 - pronounce as; ‘sol’ - in this case stands for pine tree), while it also means toothbrush. 

Joke 8:

Q: What noise does the rubbish make while eating food?

A: 오물오물 (pronounce as; oh-mul oh-mul) 

오물오물 is the Korean sound for munching on your food. It could also be translated to ‘munch munch’. The joke here is, that the Korean word for rubbish is actually 오물. It’s actually really funny once you hear Jin saying it here! :)

Originally posted by theseoks

Brunette Nurse: Oh, I’m sorry. Dr Saigon finished his rounds an hour ago. He’s probably in clinic right now. He won’t be back to do his evening rounds until 7 pm.

Roy’s expression doesn’t alter, but he clenches his fists inside his trouser pockets, the embers of hate inside his chest flaring gently with disappointment. He shrugs in a perfunctory fashion and turns to go.

Blonde Nurse: You know, I actually saw him in the cafeteria not too long ago. He might still be there.

Roy: Really? Can you give me directions?

Brunette Nurse: Wait, are you a Drug Rep? Because Dr Saigon doesn’t have much time for Drug Reps…

Roy wants to ask the stupid cow how many Drug Reps she has ever seen wearing §2000 suits, but he instead regards her for several moments with his head slightly tilted, and then asks her in an amused tone that is laced with just the right amount of irony: Honey, do I look like a Drug Rep? She swallows a flustered giggle and shakes her head and tells him how to get to the cafeteria, which is on the floor below. Roy thanks her and walks back towards the elevator, hoping that Tom enjoyed a nice big meal, because he won’t be able to eat for a very long time after Roy’s finished with him.

Prison Break — S1E1  {Sentence Starters}

  • ❛❛ You’re an artist. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I don’t have a few years. Wish to hell I did. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’m not playing games. Open it. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I didn’t want you to come. Go home. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ He won’t take this well. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ He’s beginning to think anybody he attaches himself to is gonna end up in prison. And he’s not the only one who’s starting to feel that way. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Justice and punishment are the same thing to her. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’ve known you all my life. You don’t have a violent bone in your body. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Why won’t you let me help you? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You’ve been good to me my whole life. But you’ve got to Iet me deal with this. Okay? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I find it incumbent that you see the inside of a prison cell. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Keep the line moving. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You a religious man? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ There isn’t any flying under my radar. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Can’t a brother get some air conditioning up here? It’s hotter than a crack ho’s mouth. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You Iook kinda pretty to be up in here, man. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You want to talk about it? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ He just rolled over; he didn’t put up a fight. It’s not like him. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ The onIy difference between us and them is the badge. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ He’ll come at you with everything but the kitchen, snowflake. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ In a month he’s getting the chair. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ No one here’s more dangerous than him, ‘cos he’s got nothing to Iose now. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I didn’t kill that man. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ All I keep thinking, looking back on it, is I was set up. And whoever it was that set me up wants me in the ground as quickly as possible. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ What’s another word for ‘love’? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I love you so much I ain’t never knockin’ over a liquor store again. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’m proposing to my girl, if you gotta know. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I don’t think I can go through with this. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Everything’s gonna be fine. Trust me. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I don’t want hundreds, fives, or ones. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Maybe you oughta hear what I gotta say. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You might find I can be of more assistance than you think. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I want to get home tonight. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I guess being a diabetic, you don’t mind needles. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I believe in being part of the solution, not the problem. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Be the change you want to see in the world. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’m the farthest thing from a junkie. Trust me. . ❜❜
  • ❛❛ The closer it gets, the more I’m worried that the bottom is gonna fall out of this whole thing. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’m getting you out of here. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ At some point we’ve got to pull the trigger on this thing. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ We’re onIy gonna do it once. We have to get it right. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ What were you thinking? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I can’t help wondering what someone with your credentials is doing in a pIace like this. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I can’t do it. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’ll take my chances. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Two pounds of pot? What were you trying to do, set a record? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I don’t have a father. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’m about as excited as you are, but something’s gotta give. You have got too much potential to be screwing up your life Iike this. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You two have the most dysfunctional idea of love I’ve ever seen. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I loved him as much as you did. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You ever think maybe he was hurt that you left in the first place? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Don’t do this. Whatever it is you’re doing, there’s a better way. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You want to do something? You find out who’s trying to bury him. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I can’t watch him die. I won’t do that. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You have a habit of answering a question with a question. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I wiII not be cowed into forsaking my beliefs. Not by you, or anyone else. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ No more tests, I promise. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Are there people in place to make you disappear forever? ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I didn’t think you were the agitating type. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You’ve got to realise who gets punished when you do what you do. You think it’s me. It’s you. I did the same thing. Punished the oId man ‘cos he was gone. Look where it got me. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’m not asking you to love me. I aIready screwed up that chance long ago. I’m asking you to love yourself. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ You’re aIready dead to me. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ I’m an anchor. All I’ll do is drag 'em down with me. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Keep your friends cIose, and your enemies cIoser. ❜❜
  • ❛❛ Look, whatever you’ve got going on, fill me in, ‘cos I’m in the dark here. ❜❜

make known. deancas. 16k. (ao3)

Dean should have known better than to think he knew a damn thing about Castiel.

He’s gotten complacent over the years, he sees now. You spend enough time with someone, spend enough time talking to them, fighting with them, fighting next to them, saving and being saved by them – you stop an apocalypse with someone and you get to thinking you know them.

Dean keeps forgetting, is all. Castiel looks so much like a friend, so much like family, that Dean just keeps forgetting what he really is.

Castiel is the closest thing to God that Dean has ever seen, and that should have tipped him off, really, that should have clued him in. Dean has always looked around at the world and wondered what kind of God would let the universe get to the state it’s in, who would create something so vast and incredible and then simply leave it to rot. He’s cowed by that holy apathy, terrified of that divine callousness. God works in mysterious ways, Dean has always been told, but if there’s some divine plan being served by all the suffering Dean has seen in his lifetime, he sure as hell doesn’t want to hear about it.

When he sees Castiel’s face lit from beneath by holy fire, Dean finally remembers what he really is. He’s not Dean’s friend. He’s not Dean’s family. Castiel is one of the first creations of an unknowable God, and he is himself unknowable.

Dean turns and runs. He runs from that face, that form, that non-person he thought he knew, and all he can think is that he should have known better. He should have known.

(continue reading on ao3)

Faerie Tale Theatre [Pt. 2]

[ ➤ Change pronouns and adjust to fit your muse! ]

Little Red Riding Hood

  • “I want to grow up, I just don’t know how… I have limited experience.”
  • “Who wants to live with a pack anyway? If they don’t want me, FINE.”
  • “Three days and not one edible thing has come down that path.”
  • “Now there’s a tasty little DISH.”
  • “We can be alone together, just you and me.”
  • “On anybody else, this would look perfectly hideous, but on me, ahh, beautiful.”
  • "Stay where ya are, ya miserable flea-bitten fur-bag or ya’ll end up a rug on my floor!”
  • “What great, terrible teeth you have!”
  • “What took you so long I damn near suffocated!”
  • “Well in addition to be eaten by a wolf, I’m sick as a dog.”
  • “Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.”

Hansel and Gretel

  • “How can I possibly sleep with you rolling around next me like a pig in the mud.”
  • “What’s to become of us? How am I to feed my poor children?”
  • “I’m sure they’re eating venison with a prince right now without any a thought for us.”
  • “Surely God will take pity on two children and watch out for us.”
  • “We must have been very bad children for them to leave us in such a place.”
  • “Nibble, nibble little mouse who is eating up my house?!”
  • “Eat me out of house and home will you? We’ll see who eats what.”
  • “She doesn’t see very well, but she has the nose of a wolf.”
  • “Heart to batter, batter to heart, death’s a treat, so sweet to eat.”
  • “I want fat, fat, fat! Rolls of fat, flesh and more flesh! Soft, undulating, quivering jiggling young flesh!”
  • “You sit in a little cage all day, while I’m running to and fro: ’fetch this, boil that, c-c-c-cook.”
  • “I don’t care if DO you lose your temper! You’re a horrible woman!”
  • “Our sorrows have ended and we’ll live together in great happiness!”

Goldilocks and the 3 Bears

  • “She was always kind of… spunky.”
  • “Let me sleep for 2 more weeks… I’m dreaming about food.”
  • “My teacher says to not let anybody see my papers because it’s a big secret.”
  • “Little kids don’t think as well on Saturdays! It’s a scientific fact!”
  • “What if you got a thousand bees all in one place? Then if you got a million queen bees and some kings too? You’d get a million-trillion bees!”
  • “We have to be very carful, there are highway men and robbers all around, they may be close by!”
  • “I don’t care if she’s ‘just a little girl,’ that doesn’t give her the right to barge into people’s homes without their permission.”
  • “What if one of these weeds has a poison thorn and it sticks me and I die right here in the front yard?!”
  • “I’d think a green cow would look something like a dragon, don’t you think?”
  • “I’m TOO smart!”
  • “I’ll wear my prettiest dress, and comb my hair real nice and smile my best smile, and for sure they’ll fall for it!”
  • “They’re the nicest bears in the world.”

The Princess and the Pea

  • “Oh yeah, real tough being prince: you’re rich, you’re powerful, oh it’s a real burden!”
  • “I know exactly where I am: I’m lost.”
  • “I’ll probably sneeze to death, but anything for chivalry.”
  • “You have the most expressive eyebrows I’ve ever seen!”
  • “In my spare time I like to count horses and think about my feet.”
  • “For the past few hours you have been rude, obnoxious, arrogant, and not a great deal of fun.”
  • “You are simply a rung on my ladder to success. An object to be stepped on.”
  • “I’ve traveled all the major roads, I’ve stayed in 2 or 3 kingdoms, I’ve been wooed by a couple village idiots, and I’ve met some very interesting people.”
  • “Good company, bad company… at least you’re not alone.”
  • “The whole family’s a little bit off, and seeing is how I’m sitting here talking to myself I’d fit right in.”
  • “It was like I was sleeping on a boulder–I’m black and blue from head to toe.”


  • “I wonder if you can wish to the moon, or just the stars… they’re in the same universe.”
  • “You can move, you can talk, you can think on somewhat limited basis of course, given you’re a teenager.”
  • “He attacked life with the gusto and the innocence of a small child.”
  • “I understand you, but the other people? They start to talk and think you’re a little bit you know– bugabugbuga.”
  • “I’ve got to be the stupidest person I’ve ever met.”
  • “You’re going to go home, you’re going to tell the truth, and promise to never ever do this sort of thing again.”
  • “You take your money, bury it in the ground, you wait overnight, and you’ve got 5 times as much!”
  • “Ever see a wooden donkey? I’d make a fortune!”
  • “I’m so sorry, that’s why you’re here, because I was so bad and thoughtless!”
  • “It’s part of my job, but I love wood.”


  • “You have been so kind to me, allow me to give you something in return.”
  • “You’ll learn that beauty and talent are a blessings, but if they are too much admired, they can be curses as well.” 
  • “I won’t marry your creepy son, I won’t! I won’t!”
  • “I’m sure he’ll find you delightful, and your story fascinating.”
  • “How does one conquer Gaul? Doesn’t one already have the gall, as in ‘he had the gall to call me a nitwit?’”
  • “It takes more than sweet songs to get by in life.”
  • “I do my best to secure your future and this is the thanks I get?”
  • “I’m always the bride and never the bridesmaid.”
  • “Prince or no, I can’t marry anyone without my mother’s consent.”
  • “Flower angels can slip in and out all sorts of places… even dreams.”

Snow White and the 7 Dwarves

  • “The years do not effect my beauty, my skin could be satin.”
  • “That gawky brat! How I hate her!”
  • “Cold soup… cold meat… cold peas… I could eat it all if I weren’t so tired.”
  • “That’s a STUPID assumption,_____!”
  • “Her heart is in this box. You’re lying again.”
  • “When a mirror tells a lie, it shatters in shame.”
  • “She’s a witch! I knew it when I saw her, and don’t call me stupid!”
  • “The gentle arching of my eyebrows fascinates me, most others eyebrows are grotesque and misshapen.”
  • “I don’t even miss the castle anymore… It’s so big and cold and lonely. But I do miss swimming in the moat.”
  • “No one can argue now. Now there’s only one beauty in the land.”
  • “I cannot imagine anyone hurting you, you should only be loved.”
  • “Each and every mirror as you turn to look at it, will turn to black.”
Dorm Rooms pt 3 ~ Rowaelin

hey guys, sorry it took me a while to write this aha but here you go. Hope its okay. i think i managed to include a link to the first two but idk how to do it so it might not have worked aha x

pt1 , pt2 


It had been a week since Aelin had last seen Rowan as she has done her damned best to avoid both him and his bastard of a room mate and it would appear that Rowan was doing exactly the same.

She had however seen Aedon the day after her ‘encounter’ with Rowan and she thought he might have passed out at the memory of hearing his cousin scream his high school crushes name. He wasn’t going to lie though, if Rowan had been leaning towards liking guys he too would have let the tall silver brute make him scream in ecstasy. But then again who wouldn’t.

Aelin had gone as far as climbing out their dorm room window and down the vines and pipes below it just to avoid them. And Lysandra still made sly comments about that night that made Aelin go bright red.

Right now Aelin was sliding on a tight red dress that stopped midway down her thighs and had a low dip in the back. The one and only Dorian Hillivard was hosting the party of the year at his mansion and Aelin wasn’t one for missing a good party.

She applied a dark ruby colour to her lips and some mascara on her lashes before pulling on her black stilettos. Her feet would be dead by the end of the night but hopefully the pain would ebb away after a few drinks. She stuck her head out the door making sure there were no signs of silver before rushing out the building where Lysandra and Aedon were to pick her up.

Aelin could hear the music blasting from inside the car that was parked a bit down the road from the mansion and when she stepped on the sidewalk it was almost like she could already feel the thrum of the beat under her skin.

It was already pretty busy, but Dorians parties always were. Choal greeted them at the door and pointed out where the two keggs had been placed among other alcohol. The kitchen and the back garden. Dorian was leaning against the counter talking to some people Aelin didn’t recognise but he ushered her over and began pouring her a drink. a vodka tonic  with a lime and pink umbrella, handing over to a grinning Aelin who lifted herself up to sit on the black marble worktop.

“I didn’t think you we be joining us” Dorian states with a sly smile “when have I ever missed a party?” why the hell would she miss this one especially. His smirk widened at that and Aelin knew he wasn’t telling her something “what?”

But Dorian didn’t even get the chance to answer as a flash of silver hair and stark black tattoos caught her eye, a frown forming on her lips immediately. She turned to the smug cow next to her “what. The. hell. Is he doing here?” Rowan Whitehorn never went to parties. Not once had she seen him at one. Not once. So what the fuck was he doing here.

Dorian chuckled at the look on his friends face “what?” he asked innocently, but his smirk gave him away “I thought you two were getting along. Lysandra told me you two had so much fun together she could hear you from the next room” Dorian bit his lip to hold back his lip. Of course Lysandra told him that.

Aelin hopped off the counter and stormed past Rowan the companions he brought with him making sure to slam her shoulder into him as she walked past and move her body in a proud yet sexy manner as her watched her leave the room. She heard Lorcan snicker behind her and tossed him the middle finger as she clutched her drink in her other hand and taking a large sip.

Aelin was now on her fourth drink and was beginning to feel the effects, sweat slipping down her brow from mixture of drinking and dancing. Swaying her hips to the beat in a seductive manner and dragging random guys up  to dance with her. Eventually she needed some fresh air so excused herself from the tangle of dancing bodies to drag herself to the back garden.

The fresh air hit her like a stone wall and had to pause to make sure she didn’t lose her balance before making her way to hide under the shadow of one of the blossom trees hoping to get a few minutes of peace. She was, however, not so lucky. “Didn’t realise you were such the party animal” a husky voice jabbed at her but it didn’t sound like a compliment “didn’t even realise parties were your kind of scene” Aelin retorted, turning to face Rowan. Even with her heels on he was still quite a bit taller than her. He was wearing a simple pair of black skinny jeans and a tight fitting black top with a pair of vans. God she wished she had a pair of trainers right now.

“I was invited in person, thought I would give it a go” a smirk gently tugged on his lips “or maybe I just came to piss you off”. Aelin let out a small huff and went back to staring at the darkness in front of her, her arms folded across her chest and doing her best to ignore the prick standing next to her.

“Did you follow me out here to piss me off too or do you want something” she snapped at Rowan but was just answered with his deep throaty chuckle. Aelin went to say something else but when she turned to face Rowan he was a lot closer and she had to crane her neck to meet his eyes. He was so close she could smell his strong scent of pine and snow, she could see the intricate details in his tattoo and the shape of his lips. Lips that she was damn sure were very skilled. Lips that had left marks of her just last week.

She could feel his uneven breath against her skin, raising goosbumbs “for some damned reason I cant seem to get you out of my head“ he growled softly and damn did the sound do things to her. He took another step towards her causing her to back up into the tree as he leaned in. His nose almost touching her own and she swore h could hear the sound of her heart in her chest.

Before she could respond his lips captured hers. Not softly but with with a bruising urgency. Her response to that was instant, her own lips pushing back with equal force, her hands gripping his upper arms as he grabbed her by the waist and pulling her into him. It was like he was trying to prove something, the force of the kiss pushing her head further back but one of his hands came up, tangling in her hair and tugging, pulling a soft moan from her lips. His chest pressed roughly against hers.

She wanted to get lost in the feeling of the kiss but instead pushed against Rowans chest. Both of them were panting, their breathing heavy just from a kiss. “It was a one time thing” Aelin forced out. Her lipstick was smudged around Rowans lips and she could feel the swell of her own. Neither of them said anything as she stalked off back into the house grabbing another drink from the kegg on her way in, but she could stop thinking about the kiss. God she hated him but he was so damn good. He was addicting. And it took everything she had not to turn around and go back to him.

Lysandra and Aedon must have found themselves a room or a cosy closet as they weren’t anywhere to be found so Aelin made her way back to the large room where all the dancing was happening. Hoping to lose herself in the drink and repetitive thrum of the music. However tonight just didn’t seem to want to go her way as she felt a grip wrap around her arm. She spun on her heel and came face to face with with the tall, tanned brute who had his hair up in a loose man bun “let go of me” she snapped trying to pull her arm from his grip but he held tight “where’s Rowan?” he looked behind her shoulder as if expecting him to appear “why the hell would I know” that made Lorcan laugh “you’re looking tad dishevelled” his shit eating grin really getting on Aelin nerves.

She pulled her arm from his grip again and this time he let go, letting her storm to the bathroom to fix her makeup.

charmedsims  asked:

IT JUST HIT ME! Rooney always reminded me of someone and I could never put my finger on it until now! (idk if you've mentioned this already but) have you ever seen Atlantis the Lost Empire??? The character Audrey Ramirez? She looks like Rooney, atleast I think so, & I mean it in the best way possible! I'm mind blown.


SHE AND KIDA WERE MY FAVES OMFG thank you for opening my eyes and making me realize this holy cow. it’s even funnier because rooney’s sister is named audrey ahehehe

Originally posted by killauranotbill

Texas Gothic

You walk outside. The sun is blinding and fierce. You shield your eyes from the piercing light. You cannot see. You look around and notice that no one else is covering their eyes; no one else seems to notice. You wonder if the sun has always been this bright. You try to ignore the creeping thought that it seems to get brighter and closer with each passing day. You continue walking. You shield your eyes. You cannot see.

There’s a tumbleweed in the parking lot. There’s always a tumbleweed in the parking lot. It doesn’t matter which parking lot you’re in. It’s always larger than you expect. You have heard tales of tumbleweeds larger than cows, larger than cars. You’ve even heard rumors of some taller than humans. You’ve seen shows on TV where the directors throw in a passing tumbleweed for laughs. The directors don’t realize that these things truly are ever-present. They grow tired of being joked about. You hear them shuffle as they roll closer.

“Have you applied to Texas Tech?” a teacher asks you. You know nothing about Texas Tech yet you don’t remember a time when it was not a constantly recurring part of your life. You pass posters in the hallway and they all say the same thing. “Have you applied to Texas Tech?” “Have you applied to Texas Tech?” You have no intention of applying to Texas Tech. They say that the college is in your city, although you have never seen it. Months pass and the questioning continues. You repeat over and over again that you are not going to apply. Your acceptance letter arrives in the mail.

You look down at the menu in your hands and realize that it is shaped like Texas. Has it been like that the whole time? You’re not sure. Everything is shaped like Texas here. Chips, sunglasses, bird feeders, swimming pools. You’ve seen so many Texas shaped things that the shape has begun to lose its meaning to you. Is it the shape of your state or is it just a popular design? Do other states have things shaped like them? You don’t remember. You close your eyes to think but all you can see is the shape of Texas outlined against your eyelids. The waitress brings you your waffles. They’re shaped like Texas. You could have sworn that they were normal waffles when you ordered them. You look up to ask your waitress about this but she is gone. You’re alone in the café. You’ve been alone this whole time.

helpmeicannotfindausername  asked:

Hello how are you? I love your blog and was wondering what do the mercs do on their birthday?

Hi!! I’m doing ok, finished high school last year and I’m currently looking for work.  

Also I want to say sorry, most of these head canons revolve around food. I’m part Italian and food is a way we celebrate special events. Once again I’m sorry.

Scout: Throws the biggest party!! He makes a playlist, sets up games, goes down to the local bakery to buy a few cakes. No matter who you are, you are guaranteed to have a good time at Scout’s party. But once the party blows over Scout calls home, talking to his Ma and brothers wishing they could be beside him.

Soldier: Spends the day with his raccoons, putting more effort in to the meal he prepares for them. Demoman drags Solly off to a bar where both men drink each other under the bar.  

Pyro:  Tries to bake a cake, burns down the entire kitchen. Spends the rest of the day playing with the gifts the team got them. It’s at night where the team surprises Pyro setting off fireworks.

Demoman: One of the few days where he is sober, spends the entire day on the phone talking to his mother. Laughing about the good old times and getting nostalgic. Would open the present his mother got him while still on the phone, acting all surprised. Just to hear her laugh. Later that night drinks a little bit with the team and dances the night away.

Heavy: Spends his day writing letters back home, making sure his family is ok. Treats himself to a few sandviches and a couple of beers. Makes a big meal for the team, sits back watching the men he considers family have smiles on their faces as they dive right in to the food. Seeing his family/friends happy is all he ever wants for his birthday.

Engineer: Get rekt Scout, this is how you throw a party. Is seen on the BBQ roasting an entire cow and smashing back beer after beer. This is the only time you will see Engi let loose. He dances and has a good laugh with his team, at one point gets in to a fist fight with Sniper over which country makes the better beer.

Medic: Does not acknowledge it is his birthday, he hates it. Just a reminder that he is getting older. Spends the day doing the usual takes, cleaning, feeding his doves and working over the medi gun. At the end of the day however Medic sees a small cupcake on his desk.  

Sniper: Before his parents passed away Sniper would receive a phone call and a gift. It was always one of the better conversations he would have with his folks. But after the death of his parents Sniper took up driving on his birthday, letting the road take him everywhere. It’s on his birthday where Sniper thinks he is truly alone, until he walks into the base where the team throw him a surprise birthday party.

Spy: Only a few people on the team actually know when it’s Spy’s birthday. Because of this Spy doesn’t celebrate, still he is given a gift or two from those who know. Late at night Spy will open an expensive bottle of wine drinking it in a few hours as he thinks back on the life he has.  

Central Arizona “Gothic”
  • It’s the middle of the valley region. You are a maintenance worker who has been assigned to your daily task. You carry your leaf blower through the streets. You blow leaves out of the gutter and away from the sidewalk. There are no trees around. You do not know where these leaves come from. You simply know that you are meant to blow them away. Away from here. 
  • There is one locally-owned ice cream establishment within walking distance. You are sure there must be more such oases elsewhere, but you have never seen them. No one has ever returned from them. Maybe there are better ice cream shops out there and no one wanted to return. Maybe there is nothing. The risk is too high for the potential reward. 
  • You are not supposed to touch the cacti. The cacti are not supposed to touch you. And yet, there are still rebel forces at work. 
  • The person next to you is not a cowboy. You are not a cowboy. You have not met a single cowboy since you arrived on the stagecoach. In fact, you have not seen a single cow, either. 
  • You check your shoes every morning for lizards. There is one in every pair with the exception of your dress shoes. There is one scorpion in the left shoe. It refuses to leave. You have not had the motivation to buy a new pair of dress shoes yet. 
  • You have fifteen pairs of sunglasses. You wear none of them. Somehow one pair disappears every month. You do not look for them anymore. You dread the day when they all decide to leave you at once. You do not want to be alone. 
  • It rains at least once every two weeks. The rain drops are few but heavy. The power goes out as the first hits the ground. The library floods at the second. Fifty mini-vans are caught in flood waters at the third. You dread what the fourth brings. Your neighbors are building an arc. You think they intend to leave you behind. 
  • “They” say that earthquakes happen all the time. You feel no such seismic activity and you most certainly do not feel the aftershocks. You do not know who “they” are, either, but everyone else seems to trust “them.” 
  • Everyone wants to go to Disneyland. Everyone loves Disneyland. Everyone wakes in the morning and turns to the West to gaze longingly towards the land of their savior. 
  • Pipes continue to leak in the University dorms. Only the maintenance workers know where it all comes from. They are friendly people. Some question if they are even human at all. These thoughts are never vocalized. No one questions the power or the wisdom of the maintenance workers.