Claire tossed the newspaper aside, sighing in frustration.
Joe had stuffed the copy in her locker, attached to a Post-It with a question mark and a heart drawn on it. It was a daily gossip rag, featuring a picture snapped at the restaurant before Christmas. Jamie was featured at an angle, smiling at Claire, and then a smaller picture beneath that showing Claire’s face for all to see.
The article labeled Claire as Jamie’s new squeeze (God, who even used that word?) and included accurate details of her work and past. She guessed it wasn’t that hard to Google. She ran a hand through her curls, and with the other clutched at the chain around her neck until she touched the ruby ring, for comfort.
She felt her privacy had been invaded, obviously, but also that protective bubble they had formed around them, separate from Jamie Fraser the rock star. This was reality seeping in. It was relatively harmless, but still…
The room was dark; a faraway streetlight cast a glow through the window so their features were faintly outlined. Jamie gave a brief laugh, and his hand never stopped tracing patterns on her back.
“I ken how ye feel. On the one hand, I would like nothing more than to stay wi’ ye. On the other, there’s the second thing l love most – music.”
“The second, huh?” Claire kissed his shoulder and snuggled in closer.
“The writing, composing, working with my mates… it’s such a part of who I am. I’m blessed many times over.”
Claire made a small noise of agreement and held him closer to her. There had been a couple more pictures Claire and Jamie walking around London. She had taken to wearing thick woolly scarves to wrap around the lower half of her face, obscuring most of it from view of the constant, clicking paparazzi.
Her flat and Jamie’s had become a sanctuary away from curious eyes who sometimes believed that because Jamie was a public figure, they were entitled to touch and scream at him. And that because Claire was dating him and therefore ‘hers’, she deserved vitriol and hatred.
Was he worth it too? The small inconveniences? Joe had had hospital security escort her as she left work. She plainly ignored the photographers who regularly camped outside her building. She refused to take calls from various morning shows who wanted to interview her or get her opinion on various celebrity topics. She got hate e-mail from spurious accounts and the occasional mean glare from random strange women.
“Call me when you land.” Claire swallowed against the lump in her throat as she gripped the front of his jacket.
“Ye ken I will, Sassenach.” Jamie wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his forehead against hers. “I’ll be back before ye notice. We’ll talk every day. We’ll both be busy as bees, and time will fly by. Dinna fash, alright?” He bent his mouth to hers and lost themselves in each other, ignoring the blaring airport announcements and the racket of other passengers awaiting flights.
Claire held him tight, a small thread of fear weaving into her heart. She didn’t know why she felt so emotional, so clingy – she who was usually so practical and sensible. Perhaps because her heart understood how much it stood to lose if Jamie ever left for good.
Jamie gave her discreet pat on the bottom, making her laugh, and the somber mood was broken. He kissed her nose with a whispered I love you and shouldered his carry-on backpack. Claire crossed her arms, holding herself as he walked down the gangway. Jamie turned and waved, then marched around the corner out of sight. Until three weeks.
“What makes it go faster, Sassenach, is that I had many song lyrics written down. We’re here fine-tuning and coming up wi’ music to accompany them,” Jamie said, his face crystal clear on the screen.
“I’m glad,” Claire replied, sipping her coffee one-handed as she held her phone to video chat with him; she was still in her robe and pajamas, enjoying a rare morning off from the hospital. “What else have you been doing?”
“No’ much. We’ve been out to dinner a few times, me and the lads, and yer friend Geillis and Rupert are really something, let me tell ye.” Jamie wrinkled his nose and laughed.
“I hear that too. She’s been texting me a lot the past week.” Geillis had been thrilled to be in the same city with Rupert for once, and both had been out and about frequently. Rupert was not as high profile as Jamie, so reporters and paparazzi seemed to leave them alone. Geillis had, however, been discussing Claire’s new public persona frequently via phone, asking her how she felt about it and offering much-needed reassurance.
“And ye, mo nighean donn?”
“Work. Study. Work. Study. Medical school is hard, but I love it,” Claire said happily, nestling into the corner of her couch. “I’m preparing for my next class this afternoon, and I have a lot of notes to go through.”
“Then I won’t keep ye. It’s good to see ye, hear yer voice. I miss ye. We’ll talk tonight, aye?” Jamie grabbed his own phone and seemed to be walking down a corridor. Claire recognized it from pictures as the recording studio.
“Of course. I look forward to it.” Claire smiled coyly and drew a finger down the edge of her robe, past the ring on its chain, following it with the camera on her phone until she heard Jamie gasp.
“So do I, Sassenach,” he growled as Claire pulled the phone up and blew him a kiss goodbye.
Claire was focused at the hospital that weekend, intent on helping out an immigrant family whose child had been admitted with a fever. They spoke little English, and Claire had made it her personal mission to help them navigate A&E and support them through this uncertain time.
She was nervous about an upcoming test in her biochemistry class, wanting to do well and prove herself to her professors. She was scheduling study time between her work hours and days off, even using her break time to peruse her textbooks and notes frequently.
So Claire didn’t notice the looks and whispers some of the other staff were giving her, particularly the female nurses. No one had spoken to her directly about any problem or incident, so she ignored it for the most part. Until Dr. Abernathy approached her at the end of her shift.
She wound around her neck a beautiful blue, red, and green tartan scarf; a gift from Jenny in Fraser colors. She was about to step outside when Joe called out.
“Lady Jane? Do you have a minute?”
“Sure,” Claire said, confused. “Is it a patient? Should I change again?”
“No, it’s—personal. Please, LJ, come with me.”
Claire was instantly alert, sensing tension in Joe’s tone. Perhaps she had made a mistake in one of her charts. She started going through a mental list of her patients and their care as she strode briskly next to Joe down the hall to his small office.
Dr. Abernathy let her in first and shut the door firmly behind him and sat in his swivel chair, facing Claire. She sat down herself and gripped her purse, still confused as to what was so urgent.
“Claire, I asked the staff not to mention anything since I overheard the talk in the hospital lounge, because I thought it would upset you,” he began.
“Upset me? About what?”
“I suppose you haven’t seen it. I’m sorry, Lady Jane.” Joe sighed.
Claire exhaled in a huff. “Joe, I don’t understand it. Seen what? All this drama—”
Dr. Abernathy reached into a drawer and pulled out a folded newspaper. He flattened it out with the briefest hesitation on the desktop so Claire could read it.
Jamie Fraser, lead singer of The Clan, caught in secret rendez-vous with famous French pop star Annalise de Marillac.
I’m here to give you a warning. Leave me and the people around me alone. And what if I don’t? If you don’t, I’ll come and find you, no matter where you may be. I’ll end our first encounter with just this warning but if I ever come to see you a second time, you will die.
So after Juno Steel and the Train From Nowhere I was thinking about the names Peter choose for them, especially Juno’s, like ever name he choose had some meaning, right? Well looking into it I found this and I didn’t pay too much mind to the last meaning, but everything else was a spot on to Juno. Foreshadowing at its finest, huh? Well I just finished season one and lemme say, well done penumbra. Foreshadowing to the audience this subtle, I’m super impressed.
Twelve Things They Won’t Tell You After Your First Heartbreak:
1. it will hurt the worst the morning after it happens. you will wake up, and have forgotten, and then you will remember. it will feel like you’ve experienced it all over again. it’s okay to cry as soon as you wake up in the morning.
2. the nights will be the hardest part. you may realize it when you wait for a call thats not coming or reach for him in your sleep, but the nights are when you will most evidently notice his absence. it’s okay to cry before you go to bed at night.
3. there will be days that you ache for him from the deepest part of yourself. you will call out his name in empty rooms and his voice will be stuck in your head for hours, no matter how much music you make yourself listen to. the important thing about these days is getting through them. you must learn to survive the ache so that when it leaves, you will not feel empty. when it leaves, you must be prepared to fill yourself up again.
4. it will not be like in the movies. you will not wake up someday and suddenly forget that you miss him. you will not realize that your “true love” actually lived next door the whole time. the hurting and the missing will not disappear overnight. your healing will be a slow, steady process.
5. the day that you accept the fact that he’s not going to take it all back is the day that you will start to feel free. you must be honest with yourself, and know that he’s not going to show up on your doorstep in the pouring rain, begging to have you back. even if there is hope for the two of you in the future, you cannot let that hope consume you. you cannot count on him to come back. if it is meant to be, it will be, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait on him.
6. it’s perfectly okay to miss him. in fact, you’re supposed to miss him. that’s how you know that you truly loved him. rather than letting your missing him make you upset, decide to use it as an opportunity to be thankful for the love that you got to experience. you are lucky to have gotten to experience something that is worth missing so much. acknowledge it.
7. if you loved him, and he loved you, you both were a part of something beautiful. regardless of the hurt that you are feeling now, remember that you both were lucky to love and be loved in the way that you were. be grateful for the beautiful, genuine love that you had. be excited about the next one.
8. your heartbreak will be unlike anyone else’s. don’t think that I’m telling you to ignore all of the advice that your friends give you. write all of it down; look over it every now and then. however, do not expect to experience this in the same way that any of your friends have. in the same way that your relationship was different from anyone else’s, your hurting, grieving, and healing process will be unique to you and you alone. let yourself learn how to get through this in the best way that you can, so you’ll be prepared for next time.
9. it will help you immensely to write everything down. prayers, song lyrics, poetry, letters to him, any tiny bits of progress that you make along the way. there will be words that swim inside your head for hours on end, and it is better to put them on paper than to let them crowd your mind for so long.
10. you don’t have to hate him. if you force yourself to hate him, knowing that deep down you still love him, all that will leave you with is bitterness. it would be unfair to the love that you once gave him to replace every happy memory with bitterness and regret. love is never something that you regret.
11. the hurt that you will feel will seem as big as the love that you had for him. this is not true. the hurt cannot compare to the love. do not forget this.
12. you will learn just as much from your first heartbreak as you do from your first love.and you will grow, as much as you let yourself. don’t lose sight of the beauty that comes with the love that you hold in your heart, and the hurt that you can’t help but feel. feel all of it as deeply as possible, and use the experience to flourish. you will get through this, and you will be stronger,
» The sexual tension between you and your boss, the CEO of the company, Kim Mingyu, has been there for a long time. One day you’ve both had enough.
“We’re not done yet.”
Having someone as attractive as Kim Mingyu as your boss, running such a successful company, wasn’t easy, and it was only made more difficult with how flirty he was, especially with you.
He’d glance at you every now and again, and engage in conversations with you whenever he could, where his voice was a bit lower than normal, which was not just your imagination.
Whenever he was close to you, whether it was in the elevator, when you were getting coffee, or simply talking with you and some others, you felt a sense of excitement inside of you, and he could see that, which was why he wasn’t exactly subtle with his actions, at least when you were alone.
Eventually you’d start to give him some signs, too, and also seek his company and closeness. It was like you were playing with fire, and at a company party, it all felt oh, so clear when your gazes met across the room and you held it for multiple seconds, during which Mingyu’s lips slowly stretched into a smirk.
You wanted him, and there was no room for mistakes: he wanted you too.
The sexual tension between the two of you had been growing gradually throughout the months you had been working together, until one day he called you to his office before a meeting you were both meant to attend.
“You wanted to see me,” you said as you entered the room, your heart beating slightly faster than usual as you moved your eyes to Mingyu, standing by the window with his back facing you, sinfully good-looking in his tailored black suit. You could only imagine how luxurious it would feel under your touch.
“Close the door, please,” Mingyu said as he turned around, a small smile on his lips as he fixed his cuffs and loosened his tie a little. The action already nearly made you tremble. “How are the reports going?”
A playful grin spread to your lips as you began walking closer to him. “That’s not why you called me in, is it? You never ask about the reports.”
“Am I that transparent?” he asked with a low chuckle while shaking his head, and moved his gaze to you when you had gotten close to him. “What is this, Y/N? This, between the two of us.”
You knew immediately what he meant, and barely recognized your voice when you spoke. “Tension?”
“Mmh,” Mingyu hummed, slowly letting his eyes fall from your eyes to your lips, “Sexual tension would be more accurate, would it not?”
“If you feel the way I do, then yes,” you said in a mere breath, and it was within seconds that you had Mingyu’s lips pressed against yours and his hands desperate on your body, one underneath your ass and one on your waist.
You sighed contently into the kiss and giggled quietly when he guided you to his desk, where you sat on and pulled him close, feeling up his shoulders and arms through his suit while your tongues danced together and his hands kept roaming on your legs.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he mumbled against your lips and lifted the hem of your pencil skirt in a desperate attempt to touch more. You breathed heavily as you kissed him, intoxicated by his taste and feeling, and whimpered quietly when his thumb rubbed your inner thigh.
“Me, too,” you whispered and deepened the kisses some more, although the only thing you could think about with how skillfully his tongue was rubbing yours was just how amazing it could feel in your pussy.
As you made out, your kisses only growing hungrier as you finally let your bottled up lust for each other out in them, you could feel yourself getting wet, and from how Mingyu was starting to slowly grind against your thigh and from the feel of it, you easily figured out he was hard, too.
“Can we just–”
There was a knock on the door that had you pulling away from him in an instant.
“Mr. Kim, it’s time to go. We can’t find Y/N right now, but…”
“Y/N is here,” Mingyu interrupted his assistant and swallowed hard, licking his lips. “We’ll be right there.”
You panted, the pulsating between your legs almost unbearable, and placed your fingers on your temples. “Shit, the meeting.”
“It’ll be fine,” Mingyu chuckled lowly and fixed his tie and hair, while you pushed your skirt back down and made sure you weren’t too messy otherwise, either, trying not to appear too disappointed about not going all the way.
Before you could get off the desk, Mingyu took your chin gently between his thumb and forefinger and leaned in for a kiss that took your breath away, deep and sensual in a way that practically made you melt.
He pulled back slowly, your chin still between his fingers, and whispered with his lips brushing against yours. “We’re not done yet.”
All you could do was nod: you didn’t trust your voice enough to speak, not that any intelligent words would’ve come to your mind to begin with.
Once you were done and you had gotten your bag from your office, you and Mingyu took the elevator to the bottom of the tall building, hardly able to keep your hands off each other.
Outside, you got into the fairly big, black car, where the driver greeted the two of you. Mingyu smiled at him as he closed the door behind himself.
“How long is the drive?” he asked nonchalantly while the driver took off, and placed his hand on your thigh, moving it up and down it. You bit down on your lower lip - the hand on your skin only reminded you of the burning need between your legs.
“Around 30 minutes, sir.”
Mingyu smirked. “Good.”
With the press of a button, the black glass separating the front and back of the car came down, and Mingyu turned to you, his eyes hooded.
“What now, Mr. Kim?” you asked playfully, and held back a sigh when he slid his hand higher up your thigh. He leaned closer to you, his breath ghosting your face as his lips brushed against yours.
“You should remember,” he mumbled against your lips only a moment before fully kissing you, his hand immediately sliding underneath your skirt to grasp your thigh and ass and his tongue sliding into your mouth.
You moaned quietly and turned better to him, trying to wiggle out of your blazer while kissing Mingyu passionately. With the piece of clothing discarded, you slid your hand down Mingyu’s suit jacket - just as luxurious against your touch as you had thought - until you reached his crotch and could palm him through his suit pants.
“Fuck,” he grunted against your lips when you continued palming his erection, and squeezed your ass roughly before pulling his hand back to pop some of the buttons of your dress shirt open. “I want you so bad, Y/N.”
“I want you, too,” you breathed, your eyebrows furrowing a little with how awfully horny you were, your pussy throbbing and thoughts clouded by the hard cock you could feel through the fabric of Mingyu’s pants.
You had never thought you’d be the type to have sex with your boss, much less in his car, but at that moment all rationality was out of the window.
After months of lusting after him - now knowing that he wanted you, too - you were done fighting against it.
Once he had your shirt unbuttoned low enough, Mingyu wasted no time unhooking your bra, luckily one with the hooks at the front, and nearly moaned at the sight of your breasts. Soon he was bending down to kiss them, giving your sensitive skin the kind of attention that went straight between your legs, where his hands were headed, too, while his lips continued peppering kisses along your chest, his tongue licking your erect nipples eagerly.
While you unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned and -zipped his pants, Mingyu pushed your skirt higher up on you, and you lifted your bottom enough for him to get it up to your waist. He grunted quietly when he pulled back, leaving your nipples damp with his saliva, sensitive to the cool air, and looked down. “Black lace. If I didn’t know any better, I would guess you were planning this.”
“They just make me feel confident,” you said hastily, breathing heavily as you thought about the situation, all too eager to proceed. “Can I get up?”
Before Mingyu had even managed to ask what you meant, you moved so that you were standing on your knees above his lap, your knees on either side of his legs, and leaned down to kiss him deeply. He had no objections, and instead you could feel his fingers sliding underneath your panties, his fingers teasing your clit until you were bucking against his hand, at which point he eased a finger into you.
“Ah,” you moaned quietly, breaking away from the kiss to hide your face in his shoulder, the pleasant scent of his suit almost heavenly to your senses, especially coupled with how amazing his finger felt inside of you.
While Mingyu fingered you, soon adding a second finger, you slid one of your hands down and managed to drag his boxers down enough to get his cock out. It sat perfectly in your hand, and both the size and feeling had you clenching around his fingers: not too big nor too small, but exactly the size you knew would make you see stars.
And to be fair, from how he looked and was, your hopes regarding his skills were rather high, too, and you could only wish you wouldn’t be disappointed.
For a moment you merely stroked him while he fucked you with his fingers, rubbing your spot dead on with his lips hungry and demanding against yours, even with you holding his hair fairly tightly.
Eventually he broke away and pulled his fingers out of you swiftly. “We don’t have time to waste, do we?”
You could only shake your head, too horny to think straight anyway, and watched Mingyu eagerly suck his fingers clean while reaching for the small pocket on the door, from where he got a condom. You didn’t even question the location - that was just how far gone you were, just glad that there was a condom in the first place.
Without much further ado, Mingyu put the condom on himself before lifting his face to look into your hooded eyes, his just as much so, and placed one hand on your hip and one on the side of your neck, slowly pulling you down for a passionate kiss.
During the kiss you gradually lowered yourself, pushing your panties to the side, and took a hold of his cock, giving him a few strokes before aligning it with your entrance and finally sinking down on it. A guttural groan left Mingyu’s lips, followed by a curse word under his breath as he grabbed your ass and deepened your kisses.
“Holy shit,” you breathed when you had sat completely down on Mingyu, letting him fill you up - exactly what your soaked pussy needed. He grunted and squeezed your ass in his hands.
“Move,” he said against your lips, his voice authoritative and husky, which only turned you on more. With his hands on your ass and hips all the while, you began moving back and forth on his lap, gasping at the sensation of him moving inside of you.
Mingyu let his eyes fall shut and his head lean back, while you eyed him up and down as you moved on him. He was gorgeous, his tan skin flawless in your eyes and the dark suit only making it more so. His facial features were fairly soft and incredibly attractive - it was for a good reason that the running joke in the company was that everyone had a thing for him, whether they admitted it or not.
The more you thought about it, however, the less it seemed like a joke: chances were that more or less everyone actually did have a thing for Mingyu in his tall gorgeousness, good work ethics and friendly personality.
A part of you was infinitely grateful that in that moment, with you fucking on the backseat of his car, that friendly personality was somewhat out of the window and what was left was a hot, horny man who knew what he wanted, and that just happened to be you, and that you felt the same way.
While you were still lost in adoring him, Mingyu slowly opened his eyes again, his lips spreading to a small smirk when he saw you looking at him. “Do you like what you see?”
“Like you don’t know,” you chuckled quietly and shook your head, biting your lower lip as you began bouncing a little on his lap. “I think you know just how hot you are.”
Mingyu smirked, but hissed when you fell down on his cock. “I do, yeah. Do you know how hot you are?”
A bit surprised by his question, you could only swallow a moan when he thrust up into you, simultaneously pushing you down on himself.
“It’s been so difficult to control myself at times,” he grunted, and all you could do was cling onto his shoulders, trying to keep your moans as quiet as you could at each sharp thrust of his. “But a gentleman doesn’t advance without knowing it’s okay, hm?”
“Yeah,” you managed to sigh and hid your face in Mingyu’s neck while rolling your hips, which had both of you shuddering. “Fuck, you feel so good, I–”
“You, too,” he rasped, starting to get desperate in his actions. He was so close to the edge, and judging by everything he figured that you weren’t far, either. “Keep moving, baby.”
You did just that, and began slamming harder down on him, your breath hitching in your throat with how close to your orgasm you were and how sensitive you were getting.
”We’re fifteen minutes away, sir.”
“Okay,” Mingyu replied to his driver and turned to you with a small grin when you had pulled back enough to see him. “We’ve got ten minutes to finish this off.”
“We don’t need that long,” you smirked and leaned down to kiss his grunts away as you began working your magic with your hips, finding all the right angles that worked for both you and him, intentionally clenching around him every now and then.
Not much later, you were coming around his cock with a silent cry, and he was holding onto you desperately, grunting as he threw his head back, a long “Fuck” leaving his lips while he shot his seed into the condom. You continued moving on him slowly, riding out your orgasms, and finally got off him and sat next to him, trembling.
“Oh my god,” you panted, your pussy pulsating and your ears nearly ringing from the intensity of your release. Mingyu was breathing heavily, too, while getting the condom off himself and reaching for the pocket on the door again, this time retrieving a couple of tissues.
He handed one of them to you, grinning when you looked at him dazedly. “Thought you’d need that. Also… we really need to get you out of that daze before the meeting.”
You snorted and thanked him for the tissue, with which you got some excess juices off yourself, just to ensure that you wouldn’t get too uncomfortable in your panties. “Just give me a few minutes, okay.”
Mingyu chuckled and cleaned himself up before tucking himself back into his pants and straightening his clothes. Soon you could toss the tissue away, too, and looked down at yourself.
“I’m a mess,” you mumbled while clasping your bra and buttoning your shirt up, shaking your head. Mingyu chuckled again and looked at you from the corner of his eye.
“A hot mess,” he said, clearly proud of what he had come up with, and laughed when you nudged him lightly while continuing the buttoning up. When that was done, you tucked your shirt better into your skirt, which you then pushed back down, having already gotten your panties back how they were supposed to be rather than pushed aside.
You cleared your throat when Mingyu placed his hand on your thigh, hardly able to hide your smile. “I thought we were done.”
Mingyu pouted a little, which he was glad you didn’t see. “Do we have to be?”
“You’re my boss,” you said with a small shake of your head, and sighed.
He snickered. “As your boss I insist we’re not done yet.”
You quirked your eyebrow at him, unsure of how serious he was being, and laughed. “That’s not how it goes, Mr. Kim.”
“I know,” he grinned and removed his hand from your thigh, placing it on his lap instead. “I’m sorry.”
Giving it a moment of thought, you sighed and took his hand into yours, keeping them on his lap. “We’ll probably have dinner together tonight, right? You can tell what you want from me there, okay?”
He nodded and was about to say something when the door was opened - neither of you had noticed that the car had stopped.
“We’re here, sir.”
The two of you got out of the car, both of you praying that you didn’t look like you had just had sex.
During the dinner you talked things out, and despite what you had been thinking while in the car, you ended up booking a room at the hotel you were dining at, and had some more passionate, desperate sex that left you incredibly sated and Mingyu’s back with a few scratches and his libido happily satisfied.