have some goddamn accountability

I always get so nervous bc I’ve seen so many cop and murder mystery shows where they’re like, ‘Where we you on the night of August 11th, 1988?’ and the person they are interrogating is always like, “Well that night I was at my daughter’s soccer game and then I went home at 9:15pm and my neighbor saw me, they can vouch for me” and the neighbor is like “August 11th? Yep, I was in my garden”

and i’m like THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I DID LAST WEEK YOU’RE NOT GONNA REMEMBER SOME RANDOM ASS DATE FROM TEN OR TWENTY YEARS AGO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK SO LIKE IF SOME COP INTERROGATES ME I’M GONNA BE LIKE ‘I DON’T REMEMBER???’ AND THEY’RE GONNA BE LIKE, ‘WELP, YOU SOUND GUILTY TO ME BC ANYONE ELSE WOULD KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING THAT NIGHT TWENTY YEARS AGO’ LIKE I FEEL LIKE THIS IS GOING TO BE MY FATE ONE DAY JUST BC I HAVE A SHITTY FUCKING MEMORY OH MY GOD