have it as it is

Have a seat on the story rug, kids, it’s time for one of the oldest classic D&D tales I know! I referenced it a while ago and I occasionally get reblogs asking about it, so, here we are. This isn’t my story, but I wanted to share it with a new generation of players, like it was with me back when I was a baby nerd. This goes back to the long-ago time of the 1970s and a very early edition of D&D.

So a party of adventurers stumbles onto the lands of some lord or other and the DM narrates that they’d run across a gazebo. One of the players, Eric, a methodical sort of guy, playing a paladin, asks, “What color is it?”

“It’s white,” the DM answers.

“How far away?”

“Oh, about 50 yards or so.”

“How big is it?”

“About 30 feet across, 15 feet tall, with a pointed top.”

“I use detect good on it.”

“It’s…not good, Eric, it’s a gazebo.”

“I call out to it. Does it respond?”

“Eric, it’s not going to answer, it’s a gazebo.”

“In that case, I pull out my bow–does it react in any way?”

“Of course not, it’s a gazebo.”

“Then I shoot it with my bow.” Eric, bless his earnest little heart, rolls and hits it. “What happens?”

“You…now have a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it?”

“What, isn’t it wounded?” Eric is vaguely affronted. “That was a +3 arrow!”

Losing his temper a little, the DM retorts, “It’s a gazebo, Eric! If you really wanted to destroy it, and I don’t know why you would, you could try burning it or chopping it to bits with an axe.”

Not having any fire spells or axes, Eric decides retreat is the best option. However, the very frustrated DM sighs, “It’s too late, Eric. You have awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.”

At this point, the rest of the party takes pity on the poor guy and explains what exactly a gazebo is. But they were too late to stop him from going down in history.

For those curious, what poor hapless Eric thought he was fighting was probably a glabrezu, a far less fearsome foe than the Dread Gazebo.


names get carved in the red oak tree
of the ones who stay and the ones who leave