have at it before you kill me

anonymous asked:

Do you still hate Mei mains

all the other characters in overwatch only wants to kill you, Mei on the other hand wants to make you suffer while dying. before she kills you, she will have drained you of all hope and resistance before she makes the killing blow.

so yes, i do still hate Mei mains. they kinda scares me

Originally posted by existentialmiranda

✧ ❰  book covers that tell the whole story starters   /   pt. 1
         —  inspired by boards like this & this. feel free to switch pronouns or wording

❛ everyone cries if you poke them in the eyes. ❜
❛ open my door & come inside, but be aware that i am a haunted house. ❜
❛ i’m a terrible person, but i have a good reason. ❜ 
❛ why is that priest here? ❜ 
❛ think before you complain. ❜
❛ talk to me right, & i’ll never forget a word. ❜
❛ let’s just eat our food & go home. ❜
❛ am i one person and a mirror, or two people? ❜
❛ five more minutes to go. ❜
❛ it’s a story i never finished writing, and never wanted anyone to read. ❜
❛ i would rather kill you than ask you for help. ❜
❛ how about this: we cured the diseases & lived happily ever after. ❜
❛ the key didn’t fit the hole. ❜
❛ i was trapped in a couple of traps, reaching for a trap — ❜
❛ thanks for humoring me. ❜
❛ just when i start to like myself, i do something like this. ❜
❛ oh no! she’s pretty. ❜
❛ didn’t i throw you off a building? ❜
❛ we want a meaning where there isn’t one. ❜
❛ my hormones kicked my ass. ❜
❛ you defuse the bomb, and the clock starts over, time & time again, until you make a mistake or walk away. ❜
❛ the important thing is that what i’ve said makes sense to me. ❜
❛ you look like you walked into a wall of regret. ❜
❛ i’ve seen this before, one million times. ❜
❛ danger! he’s a stranger. ❜
❛ you can’t borrow my love. ❜
❛ i wasn’t sick until i saw the doctor. ❜
❛ everything i say is a promise. ❜
❛ wisdom? that was wisdumb. ❜
❛ time flies. too bad i’m not having any fun. ❜
❛ i’m erring on the side of love. ❜
❛ i’ve stopped trying to get what i want, but i still want it. ❜
❛ more and more, i find myself wanting more and more. ❜
❛ i know your pain. i have mistaken it for my own.❜
❛ if you do something good for someone you hate, then you have to do something bad to someone you love. ❜
❛ luck doesn’t exist, & we’re lucky it doesn’t. ❜
❛ you had nails for my coffin. ❜
❛ he jumped the gun & i shot him dead. ❜
❛ don’t pick the weeds, pick the flowers. ❜
❛ am i going to hell or what? ❜
❛ honey, you’re on fire. ❜
❛ i’m pretty on the inside, gorgeous on the outside. ❜
❛ i wasn’t smart at all. ❜
❛ just as i was dying, i was born again. ❜
❛ i don’t want to see your worries, i want to see your war eyes. ❜

anonymous asked:

I have a question for you, and you might have answered it before but i haven't gone through the backlog of your posts yet -- if reaper really is working with sombra to bring talon down from the inside, where does that leave his victims? specifically, the people of overwatch that he's already killed on that so called list? and the 12 guards at Helix? I understand the means to an end but it seems a little excessive

http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/162693778075/talon-clawing-to-the-top

This is where I lay out my theory that Reaper has been working with Sombra the whole time.

The Overwatch agents could be corrupt.  They could be people who were part of the conspiracy that brought Overwatch down.  We don’t fully know.

Helix is very heavily implied to involved in a for-profit prison system:

“Questions have been raised about the effectiveness and methodology of Helix, which in recent years, has greatly increased its profile as the world’s security force. But after a number of high profile incidents, including the breach of a similarly top-secret facility in Egypt, those who have objected to the increased privatization of security following the shuttering of Overwatch will have been dismayed that Helix has requested, and been granted, additional funding by the UN to cope with rising threats.”

 https://playoverwatch.com/en-us/blog/20877886  

Another thing and…maybe this is wrong, but I don’t really find it…tragically terrible that Reaper may be offing people in his efforts to get to the top?  Considering that we also have the Hero animated short, the Dragons animated short, the Old Soldiers comic, McCree’s comic, Symmetra’s comic, and Reinhardt’s comic, it’s not like the rest of the cast is “sitting around playing boy scout” (heh) and being perfectly innocent in all this.

Gabriel Reyes was black ops for decades.  He’s already implied to have a “looser morality” than characters like Jack Morrison or Ana Amari.  Previously, he ostensibly did his work “for the cause of peace,” and arguably, from his perspective, he might still be doing “work for the cause of peace” within Talon - working to eliminate “the greater evil” for “the greater good,” even all the loss of “lesser evils.”

This is a quote from Michael Chu’s GDC talk from earlier this year:

“What’s important to us is that their motivations are not purely rooted in being evil, despite how they might seem on the surface.  As we reveal more about these characters, we want people to be able to empathize and understand their beliefs.  Because sometimes what makes a villain a villain is the extent to which they’re willing to go to reach their goals.  And one thing that we find most important (Chu’s emphasis) when we’re talking about our villain characters is that there is nothing (Chu’s emphasis) to say that a villain cannot be as charismatic or more (Chu’s emphasis) charismatic or as likeable as a hero character - because, like the old saying goes, ‘every villain is the hero of their own story.’” 

 
“Because sometimes what makes a villain a villain is the extent to which they’re willing to go to reach their goals.”

mom: do this thing please

me: ok i did the thing, but because of powers outside of my control it did not get done in the exact way you would have expected/preferred

mom: you’re killing me. you are killing your mother and you want me dead. why are you so useless. you should have done it sooner before i asked you to even though there’s no way you would’ve known to do it then

  • hyperdontia kid: but isnt this malpra-
  • novacaine doctor: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.
  • I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
  • You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.
  • Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.
  • But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.
  • You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

anonymous asked:

Hi 🌼🌼🌼 can you do 69 and 1 for Grayson

69- You have approximately 5 seconds to get out of my face before I kill you
1-  Are you kidding me right now

“Grayson Bailey you have approximately 5 seconds to get out of my face before I kill you.” I growled to my boyfriend who had been cradling me and suffocating me all day. I had a really bad cold and to top everything off, I was also on my period and I was not happy. Grayson heeded my warning and went to the kitchen to make me some soup since I was cramping so bad. I rolled over and turned on Teen Wolf whenever I heard the sound of pots and pans falling off the shelf. “Are you kidding me right now?” I hollered, but Grayson ran back into my room. He jumped under my covers and held me close to him.

“There was a spider.” I giggled at him being child like but it was pretty cute to watch him like this. I kissed his temple and I smiled.

“Let’s just order some pizza.”

“What happens when the pizza guy gets here? I don’t want you to have to go down and get the pizza.” I kissed Grayson’s nose at how cute he was.

“We’ll just make Ethan get it when he comes over.”

Littlefinger and the GOT Spoilers

So, there were spoilers going around before the season started that Littlefinger was going to be killed off this season. I don’t remember all of the details, but something about how Sansa was going to have him executed and that Arya was going to be the one to actually carry it out at Winterfell.

Here’s why I don’t really care:

Littlefinger has already offered to die by Sansa’s hand.

Remember? In 6x05, when he meets Sansa in Mole’s Town. Here’s some of the dialogue:

Littlefinger: I’m so sorry [for giving you to Ramsay]

Sansa: You said you would protect me.

Littlefinger: And I will. You must believe me when I tell you that I will.

Sansa: I don’t believe you anymore. I don’t need you anymore. You can’t protect me. You won’t even be able to protect yourself if I tell Brienne to cut you down. And, why shouldn’t I?

***Now, here’s the thing: Right here, Sansa is asking what Littlefinger has to offer her. That whole “give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you” thing. If he can’t protect her… if he can’t help her anymore… then why shouldn’t she kill him after he’s failed her in the worst imaginable way?

And what does he say to that???***

Littlefinger: If you want me to beg for my life, if that’s what you want, I will. Whatever you ask that is in my power, I will do.

Sansa: What if I want you to die, here and now?

Littlefinger: Then, I will die.

Then, a little bit later, he says, “I would do anything to undo what’s been done to you. But, I know that I can’t.”

Now, I say this with the full knowledge that Littlefinger was probably, to a certain degree, playing Sansa here. I don’t think there’s ever a moment where that instinct of self-preservation isn’t at work in his mind.

But, even still, he admits that he fucked up, and if she wants to punish him by killing him, he’s totally cool with that. He accepts that he’s hurt her so badly that in her eyes, he deserves to die.

Glossing over the fact that Littlefinger in the books would never give Sansa to the Boltons, everything Littlefinger’s done since this scene – both in the latter part of S6 and now kicking off S7 – has been to placate Sansa for this bullshit that he put her through.

  • He came to her and her brother’s aid with the Knights of the Vale, even after she initially rejected his offer.
  • He and the Knights seem to be staying at Winterfell to help the Starks and Northerners fight the wights and White Walkers.
  • He confessed that he wants Sansa not only ruling the North, but helping him rule the Seven Kingdoms as his queen.

So… coming back to my original point. Let’s say next episode or the one after or whatever, Littlefinger does something to piss Sansa off, so she has him executed. …. It would feel completely empty. Again, he’s already said he’s willing to die if that’s what she wants. He seems more honest and vulnerable around her than literally any other person. I still think Sansa will be his downfall in both book and show. But, I feel like there’d have to be something more than, “Ugh, please stop trying to kiss me.” or “I’m tired of you whispering in my ear all the time, or creeping on me.”

I think, for Littlefinger to die, especially at Sansa’s hand or by her command, it has to be something big. Something worthwhile. Maybe they find out how he betrayed their dad? Or literally anything else he did in the first four seasons. Considering he’s already offered to die as ‘atonement’ for giving Sansa to the Boltons, I feel like it has to be something else.

Maybe he REALLY steps out of line and tries to kill Jon??? Or Bran?? Or something else? IDK. We will find out.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

I don’t want him to die, but it seems to be heading that way. And, if that’s the case, I want GOT to give him a death worthy of Littlefinger. In whatever way that seems appropriate.

Thanks for reading! Let me know if you have anything else to add on!

anonymous asked:

SOMEONE ELSE DISLIKES HAJIME AND CHIAKI. I REJOICE. like, i'm honestly just so done with having vanilla protagonists for the sake of being "relatable". Hajime has some unique qualities, sure, but is still very much an example of this. plus, Chiaki's passiveness bothers me. you'd think she'd try a little harder to prevent the murders or resist Monokuma, but she really doesn't. she just kinda... exists, and occasionally helps you investigate.

thank you…

The whole SDR2 trio was just never my taste, y'know? Hinata has no chill likeat all, even before the killing game starts he’s all pissy and shit. Calm down bro, you’re on an island. And when I see a gamer I’m expecting someone passionate about games, especially since this as a published medium is a game, but she just… Sleeps… Snnz..

┏┓
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
         What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

 ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

-mod kennith

Barry was 100% ready to kill himself just to be able to hold Lup again and I get it I do but that would have been the second time in as many episodes and I want this to become the new ‘*mild inconvenience* “You’re going to have to decapitate me”’ meme like 

Barry accidentally eats a dairy product “Taako…kill me.”

Barry gets a bad sunburn “Taako…kill me”

Barry runs out of clean jeans before laundry day “Taako

  • nancy: im marrying hen-
  • frances: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.
  • I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
  • You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.
  • Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.
  • But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.
  • You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Someone: I really like you!

Me: what a Bad Choice but pls don’t stop

Source

  • stephanie: you should stop being self destru-
  • kennith: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.
  • I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
  • You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.
  • Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.
  • But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.
  • You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
So I got bored and checked the weather for both Almaty and St. Petersburg and they're hilariously different so here's an otayuri drabble

Why the hell Yakov was making him practice in this heat, Yuri had no idea. But he hated him for it.

Sure, it wasn’t drastically hot, but 19°C was hot for St. Petersburg, and Yuri could be enjoying the weather if A: it wasn’t so humid, and B: Yakov wasn’t making him practice.

Yuri tipped his head back, the vertebrae in his neck creaking and tense muscles stretching.

“Hey Yakov-”

“Give me a perfect triple axel into a spread eagle and you’re free to go.” The old man told him, drinking from the water bottle handed to him by Lilia.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Yuri said, exasperated. “In this heat?”

“Vitya’s been making Katsuki practice his quads all day, at least I’m not that cruel.” Yakov shrugged.

“Actually, I’m doing this voluntarily.” Yuuri called, taking off and landing a frustratingly perfect quad flip.

“I’ve been trying to make him come home for hours Yakov, this is none of my doing.” Viktor groaned, leaning against the barrier and wiping his brow.

“You said it yourself Vitya,” Yuuri shrugged, pulling off an effortless triple axel into a spread eagle. “I’m going to need to try my best to beat you.”

“I’ve created a monster. I’m doomed.” Viktor sighed defeatedly, gazing at Yuuri.

“And Yurio-” He started, trailing lazily around the rink.

“Don’t call me that.”

“I’m not stopping until I have both records, so I suggest you watch yourself.”

“Getting cocky, now are we, Katsudon?” Yuri asked, cocking a brow.

“Well it’s not the only thing I’m getting.” Yuuri shrugged, taking off into a perfect quad salchow, winking at Viktor as he landed.

“What the fuck have you done to him, Vitkor?” Yuri asked, slightly disgusted at the innuendo.

“I don’t know!” Viktor said exasperatedly.

“Alright, that’s it.” Yakov sighed. “Katsuki, get your ass out of my rink before you kill yourself.”

“I’m not even tired though.” Yuuri sighed, taking off into a quad loop.

“You’re hell bent on destroying my skaters and I can’t have that. Get out before you hurt yourself.” Yakov said firmly.

“But-”

“Yuuri.” Mila started. “We adore you, you’re sweet and talented and everything but with every jump you land, Yakov pushes us that much harder, so please, for the love of god, get the fuck out of the rink.”

“Okay, okay.” Yuuri sighed, finally skating off of the rink, Mila earning an exhausted ‘thank you’ from Viktor, who followed behind Yuuri.

“Yura. Triple axel. Now.” Yakov said firmly, folding his arms.

“Seriously?!”

“Yes. Now.”

“I’d like to see you do it, old man.” Yuri huffed, crossing his arms.

“Just do it, Yuri.” Yuuri called. “Anyway, we’re leaving for today, guys.”

“Finally!” Georgi groaned.

“Please take like, the next week off, you’re making us look bad.” Mila joked.

“No actually do, you’re driving me insane.” Yuri called.

“And Yakov said I couldn’t coach anyone.” Viktor smirked, pecking Yuuri on the cheek.

“Just leave already.” Yakov sighed. “Yuri, triple axel. I’m waiting.”

“For fucks sake, do I have to?”

“Do you want to lose the Olympics?”

“… fine.”

“That’s what I thought.”


Yuri unlocked his dorm, dumping his duffle bag at the door and kicking his shoes off. It’d been a week since Yakov and Lilia’s asshole of a son kicked Yuri out of his mother’s house.

He stalked over the mini fridge in the corner of his room, opening it and pulling out a cold can of fanta, wrenching open the tab and flopping down on his bed.

He pulled his phone out of his back pocket, unlocking it and opening up whatsapp, ignoring the 689 missed texts from the Barcelona GPF group chat and scrolling to Otabek’s contact, selecting video call.

Otabek picked up after around the 3rd ring, and the imagine Yuri was greeted with wasn’t what he expected.

A flushed, tanned, sweaty, muscular chest and a giggling little girl in the background. The camera shakily carried up to Otabek’s face, where it was obvious that he older boy was fast asleep.

“Bekaaaa!” Giggled the little girl, a bony little hand with garish pink nail polish and ratty bracelets pressing down on Otabek’s chest. “Oyanw! Beka! Käne Beka!”

Otabek made a weird noise between a snort and a squawk, eyes snapping open suddenly as he lurched forwards.

“Sälem aytşı Yura!” The little girl giggled.

“Natya…” Otabek murmured groggily. “Nege telefonım bar?” He asked, reaching for the phone and pulling the little girl to the side. “Bul öte jaramsız.” He scolded, blowing a raspberry into the little girl’s cheek.

“Um… is this a bad time?” Yuri asked awkwardly, taking a sip from his soda can. “I can go…”

“Crap! Yura, I forgot. Sorry, I fell asleep and my little sister took my phone-”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Yuri shrugged. “It’s kinda cute.”

Otabek laughed, ruffling his sister’s messy black hair.

“Sälem Yura!” She grinned, waving at the screen.

“She says hi.” Otabek grinned, translating.

“Hi Natalia.” Yuri smiled, waving back, earning a gap-toothed grin from the little girl.

“Natya, Siz bizden kete alasız ba?” Otabek asked his sister, slipping back into his native tongue.

She nodded, waving at the screen.

“Bayt Yura!” She giggled, running off.

“She’s adorable.” Yuri smiled, sipping from the can again.

“I know.” Otabek grinned.

“Did you teach her to call me that?”

“Call you what?”

“To call me Yura?”

“She’s called you that since she saw you on TV at the Russian Nationals two years ago.”

“Why though?”

“Don’t look at me, she just does.”

Oh, Yuri was look at him.

“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

“Huh?”

“You’re half naked. At least I think you are… I can only see your chest.”

“I’m wearing underwear if that’s what you’re asking.” Otabek snorted, flashing Yuri a crooked grin.

“Really? No pants?”

“It’s too hot.” Otabek shrugged, reaching for a something offscreen and bringing a glass of water to his lips.

“Seriously? Isn’t it like, 19°C? Kinda pathetic. And that’s coming from a Moscow native.”

“It’s 36°C over here.” Otabek said flatly.

“Damn, your coach makes you practice in that heat?” Yuri asked incredulously.

“Nah. Training’s cancelled. He’s passed out in the porch.”

“Lucky bastard. Yakov’s been forcing me to train.” Yuri huffed.

“Watch your language, Yura. My family is in the vicinity.”

“I’m like 300 miles away they can’t hurt me.”

“My cousin will find you. You know what Aleks is like.”

“And I hope you boys are keeping it PG-13!” Came the call of cousin in the background, causing Otabek to flush slightly.

“ALEKS!”

“I’m just saying! Your mother wouldn’t be too happy if she saw you-”

“Aleks, sabırlılıqtı toqtatıñız Beka!” Came a call.

“Dude I can hear like, your entire family, where are you?”

“In my back yard.” He shrugged, switching the camera so Yuri could get a view of the lush, green garden, and the hammock Otabek was laying in.

“Its huge!” Yuri gasped. “Your family must be loaded!”

“My mother was an Olympic silver medalist. That kind of set us up for quite a while, then I started to send money home whenever I got it.” Otabek shrugged. “Joq, Natya, şlangini tömenge ornatıñız!”

Yuri heard giggling in the background, along with running water. Otabek shifted, the camera shaking a bit as he moved.

“My sister has a hose, I’m going inside.” He explained as a jet of water splashed behind him. “Nope nope nope nope. Not today.”

“Are you afraid of getting wet, Beka?”

“No I just don’t want to get- AH!”

“Are you okay?” Yuri asked, cocking an eyebrow at the maniacal cackling heard in the background.

“Yeah, my sister just got me in the ass while I was running inside.”

“Damn, good aim.”

“Yeah,” He said, camera shaking as he went up the stairs, opening the door to his room and pushing in. “Yura?”

“Still here.”

“I’m gonna need to change but I’m too lazy to disconnect the call, can I just put you against a pillow so you don’t see anything?”

“Sure.” Yuri shrugged, tossing his empty soda can into the trash.

The screen went a dark reddish-brown colour as it was pressed against the pillow, the camera suddenly flipping just as the screen went black.

Yuri could see Otabek pull away, turning around and pulling down the damp, dark grey boxers.

What the hell was Yuri supposed to do?!

The rational thing to would be to tell Otabek 'hey the camera accidentally flipped and I can see your ass and probably dick but I’m not sure’, but for some reason Yuri couldn’t speak.

Otabek turned in the direction of the camera, humming to himself as he stopped up the boxers and tossed them into the laundry hamper at the edge of his room, walking over to a chest of drawers and pulling out a pair of boxers.

Otabek quickly pulled the boxers on, rooting through the drawers and pulling out some shorts and a t-shirt, putting those on too.

He reached for the camera, which suddenly flipped back to front facing as it was being pulled away from the pillow.

“Sorry I took so long- Yura, are you okay?” Otabek asked, suddenly concerned.

“Y-yeah I’m fine. Why are you asking me?” Yuri stammered awkwardly.

“Your face, it’s all… red. Are you sure you’re fine?”

“Yeah yeah I’m fine! I’m just a bit hot and sweaty from practice, I should probably shower.” Yuri said quickly.

“Okay…” Otabek murmured, unconvinced. “If you don’t feel better after the shower, call Viktor or Yuuri or someone like that. And make sure you drink a lot of water. And eat properly. None of that energy bar nonsense-”

“Okay mom, jeez. I’m fine, really.” Yuri said, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t get smart with me, young man.” Otabek said jokingly.

Yuri rolled his eyes, snorting.

“Bye Beka.”

“I’ll see you later, okay? I’ll call you later.”

“I really can’t stop you can I?”

“Nope.”

Yuri laughed, ending the call and flinging his phone onto the other end of the bed and pressing his hands into his face.

Otabek is hung like a fucking horse.

——-

I just winged it ok sorry

Roll to Kiss

(Okay, some background, my homebrew session is on its second arc and it’s become a running joke to have the players roll for extremely stupid actions. I had decided to give an npc a necrotic illness that basically is killing her slowly. The barbarian tiefling wanted to kiss her before she was gone, so naturally…)

Me: Roll to kiss.
Rogue (OOC): Oh, come on!
Barbarian (OOC): No, it’s fine, watch this. *she rolls a crit miss*
Me: You kiss her like a fish, like how little kids kiss eachother.
Barbarian (OOC): Okay, but shouldn’t I get advantage because she’s dying?
Me: I guess? Reroll for advantage.
*she rolls a nat 20 and everyone loses their shit*
Me: You kiss Julee and it’s probably the best kiss she’s had in her life. And you realize her last name, Silvertongue, was extremely accurate because her tongue did indeed taste of silver.
Julee: Wow, I wish I could be revived just so I could kiss ya again!
Barbarian (OOC): Did everyone clap?
Me: Yes, I know, because I was there, clapping.

  • Mod Bri : Mod Stephanie can you stop posting memes of the navy Seals copypa-
  • Mod Stephanie : What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.
  • I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
  • You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.
  • Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.
  • But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.
  • You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Imagine being in a relationship with Jensen for years and getting married in secret and him revealing it in an interview.

“Well, I really feel like I need to give you great congratulations for the movie once more. Nobody expected it to be such a blockbuster but we were pleasantly surprised, I’m sure it must have been for you too seeing as- it’s the first time you act on a movie together, am I right?” the interviewer asked and you nodded your head, glancing at your costar and… husband.

“Yeah, well I- I’ve been out of the big screen for some time now because I- because of Supernatural, and I love don’t get me wrong. It was my choice because I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, even if sometimes the shooting is exhausting it’s all worth it.” Jensen gave her a charming grin.

“I’ll agree, they’ve got like the best crew I’ve ever met. Everything works out so well and- and that’s even more surprising seeing how much they goof around I- at times I wonder how they get anything done there!” you laughed and Jensen chuckled, nodding his head with a shy smile.

“We’re all a bunch of kids, I’ll admit.” he mumbled as you rubbed his shoulder.

“But they really have the best of the best there. From director, writers, crew to cast, I think that’s what has made the show so successful so I don’t blame Jensen or anyone if they’d never want to leave that! They are really a family and- and you can feel that you know?” you made hand motions “You feel it from the first day and you feel so welcomed you just could as well stay there forever!”

“Speaking of which, though-” the interviewer spoke up with a smile “-Congratulations (Y/n)! I learned that you have been cast to play a surprise character in the show this upcoming season, is it right?”

“Uh yeah, yeah I have! It was amazing, the soonest I found out they wanted someone for a role I just went for it. I didn’t care what it was as long as I could be there even for one effin episode, it will be more than that yeah but still.” you nodded your head.

“Yeah, and I secretly believe that she was just cast to be there to take care of us. I mean “Two oscars?”-” he made a deep voice and a funny face “Screw that, she can keep Jensen and Jared under control; you’re hired!” he slammed his hand on the chair and you giggled as he laughed along with the interviewer.

“I can almost believe that to be honest.” she laughed “But to be honest, and just because we saw how people reacted to the news: Do you not think it has to do with the chemistry you two seemed to have in the movie? And-” she raised a finger “-Before you answer, let me tell you that 9 out of 10 critics pointed out how great your acting together was, as it’s obviously well known. The fans have not stopped shipping you like crazy after this movie, asking for as much as they can get of the two of you together in a screen, big or small.”

Jensen had a sly smirk on his face and you kicked his foot slightly, trying to keep a serious face on “Well-” he cleared his throat, getting a little serious himself, or at least trying to “-I mean look at her!” he showed you off with both his hands “How can someone not have chemistry with this woman?”

You giggled shaking your head with a blush “J!”

“We- we just clicked, from the first moment; I think that was it.” he said with a fond smile and you knew that even if she thought the first day of shooting you could understand he met that first time about ten years ago in a coffee shop “There was a connection, there was defintiely understanding, an unspoken agreement and-”

“Lots of spilled coffee.” you added with a giggle and he laughed next to you.

“Lots of spilled coffee too, yeah.” he had a boyish grin on his face.

“There was chemistry, yeah.” you spoke more softly “Maybe we didn’t see it from the first moment, but it was there. We don’t act like any other couple- screen couple I mean.” you hurried to add “You’d really be surprised to see us communicate, maybe freak out a little bit too.” you chuckled and Jensen did the same “But we- we work, that’s what we know and we’re glad that people could see it as well and that it helped the movie so much; in being believable and true I mean.”

“It really came out of nowhere for some, me including let me tell you. I might be fangirling a little now, but your ship is a really big thing and I know this Halloween what I am going to dress up with my boyfriend. With both the new season of Supernatural and a Sequel in the works the ship has sailed!” she said with a wide grin and you and Jensen laughed.

“You tell me!” he grinned “Wherever I go someone will talk about it and you know what? I completely understand!” he nodded his head.

“Of course you would.” you said with a small smirk and he gave you a look that just made you shift in your place uncomfortably.

“And you know-” he suddenly said, turning to look at the interviewer “I ship it too. Yeah, I ship us like you have no idea but I think I’m the number one fan here because this has been my ship for much longer than yours!”

“Really? That would be an interesting story to hear!”

“Oh you bet!” you exclaimed, remembering how much he tried everything in his power to get to you to say yes in a date with him.

“You know?” she raised an eyebrow and you nodded your head with a grin.

“I was drunk, that’s the only thing I have to say! I was drunk, for everything! Just getting it out there, before he says anything.”

“Excuse me?!” he gasped, looking at you in fake shock that made you and the other woman laugh “Ouch!” he placed a hand over his chest.

“You know what?” he looked at the interviewer “You think a woman loves you, you do everything together: Jump off cliffs, kill aliens, go through the end of the world and almost give your life for each other and that’s what she says: I was drunk. Pff” he scoffed, shaking his head “You end up getting married and after almost a year she tells me she was just drunk, can you believe that?” he asked, his voice almost squeaky as the woman stared with almost wide eyes between the two of you, her smile vanishing slowly as she got more shocked.

“Wh-what?”

“No, really. I even buy her flowers every chance I get- not just anniversaries but well, she was obviously drunk when she said yes.” he said with a clearly fake hurt face and you giggled as the interviewer gaped at you.

“You two are-” she ended up grinning as you nodded your head with a shy smile

“Ask the wife.” he said with a small pout as he rested his chin on his hand, his wedding ring more evident at that moment.