have all of the seats!

I have this huge, ex-military biker guy neighbour who is like 80% handlebar moustache and has a ponytail halfway to his ass and him and all his huge biker guy friends all have tiny dogs and special, motorcycle safe seats for them on their bikes and my favourite things is when they all come roaring in on their bikes and take their tiny dogs out of their little studded leather safety carriers there is this loud cacophony of kissy sounds and full blown baby voices like “was that fun sweetie” and “who’s my handsome boy”

RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS

Following my AUs and Prompts List from a few months back, here is a compilation of my favorite sentence starters for all your writing needs.

Because most of them aren’t mine, credits are at the end.

SHORT

“Marry me.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You are not going without me.”

“I can’t believe you!”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“What did you say?”

“I’m not jealous.”

"You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“Are you sure this is legal?”

“Isn’t this amazing?”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Stay the night. Please.”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

“Run away with me.”

“You did WHAT?”

“Quit whining.”

“Get outta my sight!”

“Why are you so annoying?”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

"Never in a million years.”

“Don’t ask me that…”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“What’s with the box?”

“W- What are you doing?”

“Say it!”

“I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“What’s going on here?”

“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”

“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“Did you do this on purpose?!”

“Kiss me.”

“Are you still awake..?”

“Excuse you?”

“This is all your fault!”

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

“It’s not fair!”

“I could kill you right now!”

“Knock it off!”

“Screw you!”

“You’re a complete moron!”

“I love this song!”

“I can’t be in love with you!”

“Make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I hate you.”

“You are infuriating!”

“Just shut up already.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Bite me.”

“Eat me.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“Just admit you’re wrong.”

“You are being ridiculous!”

“That’s irrational.”

“Listen to me!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“That’s it. End of discussion.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Fuck you!”

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“How dare you?”

“I dare you!” 

“It’s you, it’s always been you.” 

“Well this is awkward…”

“Just pretend to be my date”.  

MISCELLANEOUS

“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”

“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”

“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

“Can I touch your boob?”

“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”

“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”

“Give me cake or give me death.”

“On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”

“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”

“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”

“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

“What have I told you about the toilet seat?”

“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

“I vote today to be a pajama day.”

“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”

“I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”

“This would not happen if I had a penis!”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”

“To the night you’ll never remember!”

“Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?”

“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”

“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.”

“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”

“You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!”

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”

“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”

"I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”

“Look out where you’re going, asshole!”

“Fuck the sandwich guy!”

“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”

“The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”

“I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.”

“There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”  

“There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.”

“It’s midnight, what do you want?”

“I think I know how to use a bed.”

“If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.”

“You are completely unfit to handle a child.”

“We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

“When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”

“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

PREGNANCY

“I have something to tell you…”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant!”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”

“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”

“Pregnancy suits you…”

“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

“I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!”

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”

“Shh… He/she’s sleeping..”

“I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”

“No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”

“Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”

FLUFF

“Your hair is so soft…”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

“Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“What, does that feel good?”

“HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?”

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

“You are ridiculously comfortable…”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“We should get a puppy!”

STARGAZING

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Shooting star, make a wish.”

“It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”

“Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”

“Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…”

“Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?”

“Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.”

“This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?”

“Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.”

“I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.

FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL

“Did you just… finish?”

“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”

“I’m not actually feeling anything.”

“Are you getting any closer?”

“Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!”

“Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”

“Shit sorry, am I going too fast?”

“Wow, you’re hot.”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Hey, I’m open minded.”

“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”

“I see someone’s happy to see me.”

“I saw that. You just checked me out.”

“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”

“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”

“Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”

“If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”

“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”

“I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

TEXTS

[text]: What do you want now?

[text]: Do you want to bet on that?

[text]: Guess who just got back in town.

[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…

[text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore!

[text]: Come on, come to the party!

[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.

[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.

[text]: I call bullshit.

[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you?

[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship.

[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.

[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.

[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!

[text] I know what you did last summer…

Sources: x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

10

They never went on a spontaneous road trip again

3

“The louder your cheers, the better we are.

characterization, filters, and characterization to be found in the lack of filters

Talking about Jane earlier got me thinking, you know, Jane is not at all the only character that uses this device to show off the less desirable traits lurking in the psyche of all these damaged teens. Like. So many characters have these lurking deep seated issues that stay hidden deep down because the characters are pretty good at projecting a less damaged and more together version of themselves. 

If that sounds familiar it’s because it’s a fucking outrageously relatable quality and part of what makes the Homestuck characters RESONATE so much. Why they feel like they have all this dimension and depth that makes us grab on to them and never want to let go. 

I’m just going to run through some examples here while I’m thinking about it. The first OBVIOUSLY since thinking about her is what got me going on this – Jane. Crockertier Jane removing the layers of self-imposed filter on Jane’s festering insecurity, entitlement issues, jealousy and so on. I’ve already talked enough about that today.

Grimbark Jade! You notice Jade says what she’s thinking WAY more easily while she’s mind controlled, and she still sounds like herself – she sounds kinda like she does when she’s owning Karkat repeatedly, doesn’t she? Because angry Jade has that same effect of pushing her nice girl filter aside and letting the angry witch (not a cutesy slur, her literal witch class) within fly free. Grimbark Jade tells us that behind that nice girl front Jade Harley actually thinks some pretty uncharitable thoughts sometimes, she just keeps a tight fucking lid on it because – well, don’t most people? Relatable as fuck. 

Jadesprite! Since we’re talking about Jade anyway. Jade likes to think she has everything together, that her visions from Skaia and her scientific prowess and the tools her Grandpa left her are more than enough to handle everything that comes her way, she’s independent, she’s capable, she’s certainly never LONELY oh no of course not certainly never CRUSHINGLY OVERWHELMED by the responsibility of her own existence nah those are weak feelings for weak girls who aren’t as awesome as Jade! And then – Jadesprite. Why do you think Jade got SO ANGRY at Jadesprite? Because she was being confronted with something she knew deep down was a reflection of weaknesses in herself (totally normal ones that her later arc reinforced were a mistake to pretend weren’t there – Loneliness and fear and regret are all tied in with Jade’s character progression and learning how to deal with those things is where I imagine her arc would have gone if Homstuck’s ending hadn’t been the literary equivalent of chopping off a limb and cauterizing the wound.) Jadesprite is Jade without the filter of implacable strength Jade imposes on herself to fuckin cope with living on a hell island with the stuffed corpse of her grandpa who she grew up thinking literally killed himself at BEST.  god damn

Davesprite. Dave Strider with a slow long agonizing depressing arc wherein he realizes his coolkid persona won’t make anyone think of him as their best friend anymore, and in the absence of the security that persona afforded him when he was The Real Dave he has no idea what to do with himself. He’s lost, he feels aimless, untethered, incapable of being happy – and yes, Davesprite is his own character, but you can still infer a lot from Dave’s character about him – for instance, how he completely ties his self worth up in how useful he is to his friends or how worthwhile they find him and has no idea how to even BEGIN the hard journey of looking within for worth instead of relying eternally on changeable external sources. Davesprite is Dave not WITHOUT a filter but certainly with a VERY DIFFERENT one.

Homestuck does this with almost every single damn character on its roster at some point. Shows a version of them with a different or lesser or completely missing filter to highlight flaws and issues and internal struggles of all kinds. 

Homestuck is a damn deep dive into an exercise about analyzing nature vs nurture and what we’re predisposed to do and what comes from within and what is put upon us by forces out of our control, and how that line is blurry and messy and everyone has the potential to be either the worst or best version of themselves. Even Caliborn was given a choice. Hussie-The-Character explained it to him at great painstaking length. 

There are so many other examples. Jasprose is Rose without a filter, and the way Jasprose goes around gleefully calling every hot girl she sees hot and delighting smugly in knowing more than just about anyone else and lording over the information and playing smarter-than-thou games – that tells us a LOT about Rose! A LOT about what sort of urges Rose tamps down on every day in an effort to just be fucking cool! 

I bet you have things like this with yourself, right? Doesn’t everyone?

Tricksters! Look at how they act. They’re not themselves but there is plenty to glean from them. Jane immediately goes for Jake, the object of her desire, to pursue an exaggerated version of her idealized future. Trickster Jake is a passive fucking ragdoll who immediately acquiesces to everything everyone demands of him because their happiness becomes his happiness – Jake hates confrontation, so Trickster Jake is just a fucking doormat. Roxy goes for Jake AND Dirk because divorced from the guilt she normally feels for harboring desire toward either one of them she knows exactly what she wants! ETC ETC. Of course they would never do any of this shit if they weren’t high as balls and incapable of understanding the meaning of the word “consequence.” That’s the point. Seeing what they do in this situation is an interesting window in!

Brain Ghost Dirk is a version of Jake (yes, of Jake, not Dirk) without a specific filter Jake runs his own personality through before he’s comfortable presenting it to others, and you’ll notice, it’s EXTREMELY biting and critical sometimes. Jake knows what he’s about. He just buries it most of the time because that’s easier than dealing with it. 

I could seriously keep going. 

Homestuck loves to show us what our favorites do and say and ARE when basic filters go out the window. Those filters that most of us employ to make other people believe we don’t all have intrusive thoughts or bad desires or just plain old weaknesses we’re ashamed of and want to keep hidding at costs – or that we occasionally think things or think about doing things we would never ever ever do in real life are demolished or changed or temporarily suspended. 

It’s brilliant tbh. It lets us see facets of characters that would normally never really get full spotlight reveals by their very nature, especially with protagonists. 

Vriska vs (Vriska) – (Vriska) is just Vriska with some more self awareness and more willingness to let down her self-imposed filter and actually examine the shit she wants and why because watching Aranea fuck the timeline over out of motivations eerily similar to her own hardcore shook her enough to develop in that direction. (which makes sense since HER original motivations are copying Mindfang who IS alt-aranea lmao I love Homestuck)  (Vriska) is still Vriska, it’s just a very very different lens through which to view her character. 

blah blah blah blah etc there are so many examples

anyway I love Homestuck and good character writing what up

Book Rec List

I’m bored, home alone, and packing all my books. So here, have a list of book recommendations from yours truly!

Fantasy

  • Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbit
    • A young girl meets a family that gained eternal life after drinking from an enchanted spring, and is left to wonder whether living forever is a blessing or a curse. It’s a fantastic book that hurts your heart in 139 pages.
  • Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
    • Six morally horrible people plan an impossible heist for selfish motivations. But the romances between the morally horrible people are somehow still very pure and wonderful. The plot also keeps you on the edge of your seat because you never have all of the information until the last possible second. And if you love fantasy worlds that include POC main characters and LGBTQ representation, this is the duology for you!
  • The Last Dragonlord by Joanne Bertin
    • Human/dragon shapeshifter romance with political intrigue. And really fun worldbuilding, too.
  • Green Rider by Kristen Britain
    • One of my favorite series. The overarching plot is wonderful, you genuinely care about all the characters, and this is one of those stories where “strong female characters” means both “well-rounded, well-developed females with agency” AND “kicks some serious ass”.
  • Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer
    • The protagonist is the villain. I wrote that correctly. Artemis Fowl is the villain. The entire series is about his personal journey from villain to hero, with all the beautiful and human mistakes throughout.
    • Also, it’s got fairies. With guns.
  • Dragon’s Milk by Susan Fletcher
    • A super fun (and quick-read) series about people smuggling dragons to safety in a world that is determined to destroy them. Also, lots of baby dragons. And dragons being dragons, and neither morally good nor evil. It’s wonderful.
  • Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
    • The funniest fucking book I’ve ever read. God’s starting the apocalypse, but they’ve somehow managed to misplace the AntiChrist. And it just gets more insane.
  • Seraphina by Rachel Hartman
    • One of my favorite books of all time. It has a fascinating new take on dragons, genuinely fun political intrigue, romances you root for but aren’t the focus of the plot, and a half-dragon heroine that you absolutely fall in love with. And, if you make it to the second book, Shadow Scales, there is massive LGBTQ representation. I’m talking gay and bi characters, I’m talking trans characters, I’m talking people asking “How may I pronoun you?” and strongly-implied polyamorous relationships. And dragons. And plot twists.
  • Castaways of the Flying Dutchman by Brian Jacques
    • When the Flying Dutchman was cursed to roam the sea forever, a boy and his dog who were on board are spared from the curse due to their pure hearts, are washed ashore and granted eternal life and youth. Now they roam the world helping people and getting into adventures. Don’t let the fun fool you, though, it’s fucking heartbreaking. They really don’t skimp on the “we’re immortal so everyone we love dies” angle, and the “wow, this kid looks like he’s seen some shit”. Also the first book feels much more YA than the other two.
  • The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
    • I know it’s pretty much only known as middle-school assigned reading, but this book is clever, insightful, and absolutely fantastic. I definitely stood in line to get this book autographed in high school. A boy with no imagination is sent to a crazy world of unique perspectives and interesting insights to rescue Rhyme and Reason.
  • A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
    • That book they made us all read in 5th grade that is actually all it’s cracked up to be. It’s absolutely trippy fantasy with a sci-fi edge to it, and the characters are so utterly endearing. Personally, my favorite is A Wind in the Door, but that’s book 2.
  • The Onion Girl by Charles de Lint
    • Contemporary fantasy at its absolute best. It’s modern urban fantasy that puts the fantastic in our world in such a wonderful and beautiful way. The best part is it’s also a story about dealing with physical disabilities, trauma, past abuse, self-healing, the complexity of forging and rekindling relationships with others when one is hurting, etc. Honestly, it’s just fucking awesome.
  • Dreams Underfoot by Charles de Lint
    • A book of short stories (all contemporary urban fantasy), and the best way to be introduced to Charles de Lint’s writing. So, if you want to read The Onion Girl but aren’t sure you’re ready for it yet. This is the first book I ever took a highlighter to.
  • Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
    • Do you want to crush your heart and destroy your soul and cry like a baby in 128 pages? You’ll be happy you did.
  • Elantris by Brandon Sanderson
    • This is a standalone novel, and the best way to be introduced to Sanderson’s work. This book has phenomenal and complex worldbuilding, three-dimensional characters with agency you will fall in love with, and a book-long mystery that just blows you away when you figure out the answer. If you enjoy this book, you have to read Mistborn next.
  • Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson
    • Elantris on steroids. This is, without a doubt, the most fascinating worldbuilding I have ever encountered in literature. It’s so complicated, but completely logical, and the plot is so bewitching. And Sanderson can leave you as many clues as he wants - he will still blow your fucking mind when all the pieces come together at the end. The book takes a while to pick up the pace, but I swear to you it’s worth it.
  • Dealing with Dragons by Patricia Wrede
    • A princess gets bored, and decides to volunteer to be a dragon’s captive. Then she gets into a ton of adventures and ends up discovering a plot to overthrow the dragon government. It’s a lighthearted, quick and fun read, and Cimorene is my fucking hero.

Classics

  • Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
    • Oh God, read Pride and Prejudice. It’s my absolute favorite book.
  • Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
    • If you can, read the abridged copy. It’s kind of hard to find, so look for the one that was translated by Charles Wilbour and abridged by Paul Bénichou. It’s all the meat of the story and barely a third of the size.
  • Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux
    • I mostly like it because it’s written from the rather limiting perspective of Raoul, which means you’re in the dark about the goings-on of the book until someone bothers to tell Raoul what’s happening. It’s actually a lot of fun.
  • Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
    • A grim mystery wrapped up like a romance, where the second Mrs. de Winter is trying to discover what truly happened to her husband’s first wife. It’s by the woman who wrote The Birds (which you may know as the famous Hitchcock movie), if that clues you in to the vibe of the book.

  • I don’t really have enough classics on this list
Guy What Takes His Time*

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Featuring: Natasha, Wanda, Sharon (mentioned) and Sam.
Rating: Mature
Summary: Wanda, Natasha and Sam think Steve has feelings for Reader, but she tells them otherwise while actually feeling the same way for the super soldier. One evening,  they all make a plan to make both of them confess the truth.
Word Count: 2.2k
Genre: Fluff/NSFW-ish
Warnings: build-up, suggestive themes, and innuendos, mentions of alcohol, sexual tension, a little bit of roleplay, flirting, Captain kink (?) and Steve being a cute flustered bastard.
Author's Note: It’s a rewrite of the flirty scene between Natasha and Bruce in Avengers: Age of Ultron (you can expect some references, though). I thought it could be fun to switch sides with Steve and see how it goes. It’s also inspired by Guy What Takes His Time covered by Christina Aguilera in Burlesque.

  New Avengers Facility, Upstate New  York

“You did a great job, Y/N,” Steve announced in his deep voice as he passed the hallway with you, Natasha, and Wanda. “Ladies.” He stopped in his tracks, standing with this impressive physique, almost towering in front of you as his hands held the brown belt of his- oh, so sexy uniform.

“Thank you, Captain.” You smiled and he nodded slowly as if questioning whether he would stay to have a chat with you or not. He smiled gently and proceeded to take the stairs towards his personal quarters where he’d finally take a well-deserved shower after a hard, but successful mission with you and Sam.

Of course, he would’ve loved to linger awhile and see your smile just a little longer. He enjoyed spending time with you and the feeling was mutual. Maybe that after all these days spent with him, these missions where you saved each other, being partners and all this harmless flirting, there was something between you. Your chemistry was obvious to everyone after all.

“Have you seen the way he looks at you?” Wanda nudged your side and you winced, narrowing your eyes. “Don’t be silly, Steve likes you a lot.”

Keep reading

so i watched this chinese drama called Nirvana in Fire and it fUCKED ME UP

here’s a thing i’m working on! i’ll eventually color it, but i quite like the lineart :D

A-Z NSFW: Kai

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 

Kai’s definitely going to be a guy that’s going to take care of you well. He’s got dogs that are practically his kids, his niece, Taeoh, on Yummy Yummy he said he wanted to know how to cook so he can help his wife. He’s going to take care of you, and happily do it too. He’s one that’s got a warm rag on stand by, lotions and things are waiting in the bedside.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

We all know the golden part on Jongin is his hips, c’mon. He relishes in how him just dancing can get you all hot and bothered, watching the sharp thrusts and fluid rolls. I’m not even going to try and act like he’s not a basic lil horny boy. He likes your boobs. No use hiding it. He’s almost kid-ish with his touching fixation he has with you, he likes squeezing the soft bits of you, that includes ya titties. 

C = Cum 

Kai’s still pretty young, I don’t think he’s quite mastered the art of not making a fucking mess with his male tears. He’s pretty messy, and very vocal when he cums. He’s a pretty loud moaner with you in general, but when he finishes, he goes up a good 4-6 notches in volume. 

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 

While he’s really touchy feely with you, he’s got somewhat of a voyeur kink, that he hasn’t revealed to you yet. Kai has such open play with you, that he likes toying with the idea of not being allowed to touch you, and just having to watch you play all by yourself while he’s squirming in his seat. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Between him and Sehun borrowing Noonas’ phones and returning them with the history deleted, and he was the only one of him and Sehun who understood the dick joke the lady on Yummy Yummy said, I’m pretty damn sure his ass knows about dicks and sex and the whole shabang. He knows too much about moving those damn hips too. If he hasn’t had sex, then I wanna know who taught him that shit. He’s easily taught though, so if he doesn’t know what’s going down, he knows enough from watching things to know what to do, he’s just gotta apply his knowledge to you.

F = Favorite position

Knowing he needs proper room to work the magic that is Kai’s hips, doggy style is usually what he prefers. You laid out before him, exposed to his eyes, and unknowing of when he’ll strike. From behind, he’s able to get his grab on, let his hands wander around your back, easily reach around and touch your chest, grab a handful of your ass, and be able to unleash the beast that is his thrusts? it’s the best of all worlds in his eyes.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Kai’s a typically lighthearted and goofy guy in most situations, I don’t see any way that doesn’t spill over into his sex life. Although sometimes he likes to play that there’s a difference between Jongin(ur soft lil bby bf) and Kai(ready to fuck you into next week), in general, the atmosphere isn’t tense or serious, it’s all fun with him.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
He whips those abs out so much, my Nana makes so many jokes about his lil nip nops it kills me. Not much hair in sight, and he’s very clean and put together but he does have stubble a lot so I don’t think he shaves every day. I think he grooms down there, but it’s not very frequently, maybe a few times a month. 


I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

[Back to Aftercare] He’s very loving, and caring, and he’d be the most romantic you can imagine. He’s the classic kind of romance, maybe a few candles but mostly he’s very vocal during sex, cooing about how perfect you are, how well you take him, how much he loves you. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)
[Back to using the Noona’s phone….] Kai almost always has his hand on his dick, let’s be honest. I think it’s hilarious he’s playing a character that addicted to video games and porn, that’s practically him at this point. He’s all the time in the bathroom, or always in the shower. He’s not fooling anyone, but we’ll just let him think he’s being sneaky. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
I lowkey think Kai has(i think this is what its called) exhibition kink? Or is it voyeur? Idk, whatever, he likes being watched with you. He doesn’t necessarily want a threesome, but it’s been toyed with in convo, that you might try out at some point with having a third person just watch.
He watched porn with sehun dont play me i know whats going on


L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Kai will pretty much nail you anywhere, he’s not a stickler for location. Seeing as Chan’s the lockpick master, a locked door doesn’t even matter so with the amount of times Chan has gotten into the bathroom while Kai’s in there…Kai just doesn’t care anymore. He favors the bathroom though, he likes plopping some nice bathbombs in the tub and spending some relaxing time with you before he takes you for a ride. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Grindings kind of his thing, all you have to do is trick him into back hugging you and roll your hips back into his crotch, and he’s sweeping you off to find a closet or bathroom or practice room to bend you over. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

While he does have a thing for being watched, under no circumstances will he agree to a threesome, no matter who the third person is. Kai’s pretty protective and possessive, which is why he likes being watched, it sends a pretty clear message that you’re his and they can watch all they want but they can’t touch you like he can, can’t make you moan like he can, can’t make you cum like he can. It’s a show of dominance to him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

I don’t trust his tongue tbh Kai’s more of a fan of being in you, rather than your mouth or his on you. But of course foreplay is very important, and he doesn’t dislike going down on you, he’s actually really good at it, he’s just so impatient he’d rather get to the main event. He doesn’t turn down a bj, but again, he’d rather be in between your legs, rather than in your mouth. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

If his damn thrusts are any indication to how he is in the sack, Kai’s got a pretty fast pace. His thrusts are pretty unforgiving, and teeters on the line of being rough, but he’s good at reading your body if he’s being a little too rough.`

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies are actually really frequent in your relationship, Kai’s a fan of being able to pull you away from the group or something for a fast pounding, more so because he likes seeing your face all flushed and hair a mess when you two return to the group and have to pretend like nothing happened even though everyone knows…they know..

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Kai’s really playful in the bedroom, if you or him want to try something, there’s almost a 100% chance you’ll test it out, at least once. Positions, toys, locations, kinks, etc, he’s game to try anything with you.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Kai’s still young, and he’s got a lot of young boy energy still. Sex with him lasts a significant time, and dick entering stuff lasts a good 5-10 mins, but one round is all he can handle honestly.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He’s got a few basics, just to bring in just for a little extra fun every once in a while. Some silk ropes, a blindfold, some interesting vibrating panties. They’re not used very frequent, but when they come out, he does enjoy them a lot.


U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kai is a bit of a little shit, he’s really into teasing you a lot. He likes watching you twitch, and he gets off on you begging, so teasing is an all time favorite of his. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He’s insanely loud, to the point you’ve joked and toyed with the idea of getting him a freaking ball gag. He’s a moaner, but hell that might as well be bumped up and call him a screamer, he’s so loud. 


W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Lord knows you’ve been walked in on more times than you can count, being walked in by the EXO members that you’re close to is already bad, but the dressing room backstage during an SM event when Kai’s squeezing a quick one on and you’re caught with your pants around your ankles and a dick in you by Taemin is top 5 worse moments of your life. Kai found it hilarious though…idiot boy…

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I have a fascination with Kai’s crotch. Is that weird? Same with Taemin and Hansol, I really like the guys that know how to tuck right and it’s practically completely flat in the front. 

but boi :)))))

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

How may horny puppy references can I make? Bcuz that’s what he is. His sex drive is just a smidgen above average, just high enough that it’s a ‘did you seriously pop another boner? didnt we just do this smh’ kind of thing. He’s pretty much ready to go at any moment, and he’s turn on at the drop of a hat, so I’ll pray for your souls.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
I imagine Kai as a puppy tbh. After he’s had his little work out, he needs a nap straight away. So Kai falls asleep fairly quickly after you two do the do, even if he’s only got a few more minutes to spare, he’s done closed his eyes and he’s snoring. Night Night Nini. 

Male tennis players still feel the need to downplay Serena Williams.

John McEnroe is promoting his new book and couldn’t resist flapping his gums about Serena Williams, the world’s best tennis player and one of the greatest athletes of all time.

Serena Williams has asked John McEnroe to respect her after he stated the 23-time Grand Slam champion would be “like 700” in the world tennis rankings if she played on the men’s tour.

“If she played the men’s circuit she’d be, like, 700 in the world,” said McEnroe, while promoting his latest memoir But Seriously.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t think Serena is an incredible player, and I suppose anything’s possible; maybe at some point a women’s tennis player can be better than anybody.

"I just haven’t seen that in any other sport, and I haven’t seen it in tennis. If she had to just play the men’s circuit, it would be an entirely different story.”

Williams responded on Monday evening, stating: “Dear John, I adore and respect you but please please keep me out of your statements that are not factually based.

"I’ve never played anyone ranked "there” nor do I have time. Respect me and my privacy as I’m trying to have a baby. Good day sir.“

(cont. Telegraph UK

Tennis is one of those sports where men repeatedly feel the need to say to women "ok you’re good, but you can’t beat me” as if letting her be good on its own is too threatening to your manhood.  I know this isn’t that important and John McEnroe has always been an obnoxious little shit but I do randomly want to make a few points about comparing women’s athletics to men’s athletics.

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When They Have A Crush on You (Preference)

Request: do you do preferences? If so can you do one for the marauders era having a crush on you please. Also can you add Lily? Love the blog sweetness!

*Tried to keep it gender neutral, and I apologize if it’s not*


Sirius Black:

Originally posted by nellaey

~Flirting constantly

~Showing off

~Asking you to tutor him when he doesn’t need the help

~Insisting on sitting next to you whenever he can

~Just being close to you

~Playing with your hair (twirling it around his fingers, lightly pulling on it, etc.)

~His friends all sharing //a look// when you pass by

~Him knowing he can practically get anyone he wants, but deciding you are more to him than that

James Potter:

Originally posted by johnintheskywithdiamonds

~Inviting you to all his games and making sure you have front row seats so you don’t miss a thing

~Gives you his jersey (if he wins)

~Carries your books between classes

~Doesn’t spare the dirty jokes

~Asking your advice on the Marauders’ newest pranks

~Actually gets pretty blushy and fusses with his hair

~Let’s get real, his glasses fog up when you’re around (Sirius N E V E R lets it go)

~Making it his mission to make you smile and laugh

Remus Lupin:

Originally posted by mrsgarfieldxo

~Loves talking with you about any and every thing

~Sharing his chocolate

~Nervous laughs and a blushing face

~Him recommending books to read

~Walking to class with you whenever he can

~Him confiding in you

~Being a little distant because he thinks you deserve better than his furry little problem

~Him lending you his hat (or gloves, or coat, or whatever you need)

Peter Pettigrew:

Originally posted by doe-lita-haze

~He opens up to you little by little

~At first he’s quite shy

~His friends threatening to ask you out before he does

~Him thinking you won’t like him as much as his friends

~Doing homework together

~Actually stands up for you when you need it

~His flirting is rather subtle, but you still catch on most of the time

~This boy falls head over heels for you fast

Lily Evans: 

Originally posted by tallskinnyvanillalatte

~Always giving you a giddy smile when you look at her

~Sharing clothes

~Her getting jealous but hiding it well when another student flirts with you

~Bowing her head slightly when you compliment her

~She’s always by your side

~Her getting surprised when she realizes she likes you more than a friend

~Her loving when you give her fashion advice

~Her trying to be your best friend (and she is)

Severus Snape:

Originally posted by ohdarling-lets-be-adventurers

~Him actually being comforted by the fact that you can see through his cold exterior

~Trying to be a better person for you

~Giving you one of those rare smiles

~Him trusting you over anyone else 

~Not minding when you touch his things and rather enjoying when you touch his hair

~Loving your company

~Defending you against his friends

~Him insisting you work on projects/homework together just to be close to you


I hope those are all the characters you’re looking for :)

be there. 12x12 coda. deancas. (ao3)

Dying is different when it happens slowly.

Concern is rolling off of Dean in waves, and underneath that is fear and desperation and a dozen different types of longing that, for reasons Castiel still doesn’t understand, Dean has never acted on.

Dean tells him it’s not that bad, that he just needs time, but no one is a good enough liar to make that one believable. Even if Dean were, it wouldn’t matter. Castiel knows exactly what Dean’s denial looks like.

He knows exactly how this is going to go, too, in spite of Dean’s protestations. He can feel the rot radiating out from the wound, spreading through his chest, crawling down his arms and numbing his legs. Time moves on, and the last thing it’s going to do is heal him.

Castiel gathers the last shreds of strength left to him and takes a deep breath. These will be his last words, and he wants to make sure they’re good ones.

He knows it’s cowardly to tell the Winchesters how he feels only now, when he knows it won’t cost him anything, when he won’t have to deal with the fallout. I love you feels strange and unfamiliar in his mouth, but he doesn’t regret not saying it sooner. The words scare them all, especially Dean. He can see it in the way Dean can’t meet his eyes when he says it. He recognizes it for the rejection it is, and some small part of him is glad he won’t have to live with that.

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Yo but music

Imagine this: humans are on an alien ship. Somebody’s ringtone goes off and it’s The Proclaimers - 500 miles. The aliens are getting freaked out because all the humans have suddenly started convulsing (dancing) in their seats and chanting the lyrics as a whole.

batman and john stewart fighting is always in an official, rational, justified, maybe even well-mannered by normal standards capacity, meanwhile bruce and hal fighting is something like

“DARKSEID WOULDN’T HAVE ALMOST KILLED ALL OF US IF YOU HADN’T FORGOTTEN TO LIFT THE TOILET SEAT”
“WE DON’T EVEN LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE???????
“EXCUSES YET AGAIN NOBODY SAW THAT COMING RIGHT BOYS”

and i can’t help but recognize the beauty in that

Haikyuu Road Trip Music
  • Karasuno: singing along to Disney music at varying levels of enthusiasm
  • Nekoma: blasting Nicki Minaj. Nobody says a word but they all have shades on and most of them are dancing in their seats
  • Datekou: everyone's content to listen silently to jazz and r&b except Futakuchi, who hates that shit
  • Seijou: aggressively listening to bubblegum pop
  • Fukurodani: head banging and singing along to classic rock
  • IM ADDING TO THIS Y'ALL
  • Johzenji: Anything and everything that has a sick beat and you can sing along to. Everyone has such varied tastes in music and they all just want something to listen to and scream lyrics at each other and have fun
  • Wakunan: They listen to stuff like Green Day, Jimmy Eats World, and stuff like that. Some of them actually still like them but some just remember songs from middle school and like the nostalgia.
  • Shiratorizawa: Old school rap. The Sugarhill Gang type of stuff from way back. Ushijima doesn't care for it but the rest of the team makes a game out of who knows the lyrics to the most songs. Ushijima will either keep score for them or have his own headphones in (he's partial to classical and r&b).
  • Nohebi: Show tunes, Broadway and musical music, all that jazz. They love acting out the different parts and putting on voices. They're most partial to the villain songs for some reason
I’m your boyfriend, after all. // Haechan (Lee Donghyuck)

Originally posted by haenyan

Style: Drabble set

Genre: Fluuf, fluff and more fluff… so much fluff I almost made myself throw up

Warnings: None~

Words: 3.590

a/n: My bias ♥︎♥︎♥︎ I originally wasn’t going to post this since I ran out of ideas/the formatting is weird but then I saw all the rumours floating around him :’( Please try not to believe any of them until an official source says otherwise… he doesn’t deserve all the slander he’s getting!! Let’s all support him through this rough time! (also sorry for not updating frequently… school stuck a knife up my ass lol) 

masterlist~

what/who do I request?

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