have a nice cold pint

The Blitz 1941

Mary: [over the phone] Some of the bombs landed close to the London House.

RAF Captain George Crawley: Well is everything still there?

Mary: [over the phone] I’m not sure, Anna shut the curtains.

George: Did you try the Fire Department?

Mary: [over the phone] Well I thought about it.

George: Are you OK? Are you hurt?

Mary: [over the phone] No I’m fine. I’m fine.

George: Mom…

Mary: [over the phone] Well they were a bit… close.

George: [concerned] Mom, are you hit?

Mary: [over the phone] No… But Henry has.

George: [calmly] Oh, OK.

RAF Mechanic Sybil Branson: *eating George’s Chocolate bar* Is Mama hit?

George: [to Sybbie] No, Henry is.

Sybbie: [calmly] Oh, OK.

George: Listen, Mom, what sort of state is he in?

Mary: [over the phone] Oh, he’s fine. Bit under the weather.

George: I see.

Sybbie: What’s the deal?

George: [to Sybbie] We may have to kill my step-dad.

Sybbie: [Calmly Shrugs and continues to eat] 

Mary: No, George, it’s fine. There’s no need to make a fuss. Me and your father are fine!

George: He’s not my dad!

Mary: Oh, George …

Sybbie: [In George’s ear] We’re coming to get you, Mama!

George: [Pushes Sybbie back in annoyance and hangs up]

                                                                         LATER AT THE AIRFIELD 

Sybbie: What’s the plan then?

George: Right.

[cuts to dream sequence]

George: We take the staff car, we drive over to Granny and Donk’s London House, we go in, take care of Henry - “I’m so sorry, Henry” - then we grab Mom, we go over to Victoria’s place, hole up, have a cup of Joe and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

Sybbie: Why have we got to go to Aunt Rose’s place to check on Victoria?

George: Because we do.

Sybbie: But she dumped you!

George: I have to know if she’s all right!

Sybbie: Why?

George: Because I love her!

Sybbie: All right… gayyy… I’m not staying there, though.

George: Why not?

Sybbie: If we hole up, I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke.

George: Okay.

[cuts to dream sequence again]

George: We take the staff car, go round Mom’s, go in, deal with Henry- “Sorry, Henry!” - grab Mom, go to Victoria’s, pick her up, bring her back here, have a cup of Coffee and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

Sybbie: Perfect!

George: No, no, no, no, no, wait, we can’t bring her back here.

Sybbie: Why not?

George: [looks out at the damaged airfield] Well, it’s not really safe, is it?

Sybbie: Yeah, look at the state of it. And you’ve been shot down twice since Dunkirk.

George: Where’s safe? Where’s familiar?

Sybbie: Where can I smoke?

[George and Sybbie pause then slowly make a realization]

George: [cuts to dream sequence a third time] Take car. Go to Mom’s. Kill Henry - “Sorry.” - grab Victoria, go to Downton, have a nice cold pint with Marigold and Thomas, and wait for all of this to blow over. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?

Sybbie: Yeah, boyyyeee!

[George and Sybbie clang their mugs together]

Cornetto Trilogy RP Sentence Starters
  • “You’ve got red on you.”
  • “Do you want anything from the shop?”
  • “Things will change. I promise.”
  • “There’s no ‘I’ in team, but there is an ‘I’ in pie.”
  • “Get fucked, four eyes!”
  • “It’s on random.”
  • “Kill the queen!”
  • “It’s four in the fucking morning!”
  • “You wanna live like an animal, go live in the shed.”
  • “Next time I see him, he’s dead.”
  • “There’s a girl in the garden.”
  • “Oh my god… she’s so drunk.”
  • “Ooh, he’s got an arm off!”
  • “Fuck this, I’m going to the shed.”
  • “We’ll have a nice cold pint and wait for all this to blow over.”
  • “What’s the matter? Never taken a shortcut before?”
  • “You don’t wanna die single, do you?”
  • “I’ll stop doing it when you stop laughing.”
  • “Everyone and their mums is packin' round here!”
  • “Is it true that there's a point on a man's head where if you shoot it, it will blow up?”
  • “You're a doctor, deal with it!”
  • “It's not murder, it's ketchup.”
  • “There is no way you can perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork.”
  • “It was the single most painful experience of my life.”
  • “You can’t just make people disappear.”
  • “Guilty people often make the first move.”
  • “You ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?”
  • “You don’t switch off, do you?”
  • “Playtime’s over.”
  • “The greater good.”
  • “Oh, fuck off grasshopper.”
  • “It’s alright! It’s just bolognaise!”
  • “Everything’s gonna be just fine.”
  • “Little hand says it’s time to rock and roll.”
  • “You remember the Friday nights. I remember the Monday mornings.”
  • “It’s like seeing a lion eating some hummus.”
  • “Let’s boo boo.”
  • “It’s hard to put into words. But if I had to choose three, I would say ‘really, really sad’.”
  • “Do you really think I’m gonna have sex with you in the ladies toilet?”
  • “Nothing wrong with doing your business in the toilet.”
  • “Well it’s weird, isn’t it? You come back and everything’s the same but sort of different.”
  • “What the fuck does ‘WTF’ mean?”
  • “You’re not a bad person. But you’re not boyfriend material.”
  • “How can you tell you’re drunk if you’re never sober?”
  • “Oh fuck off you big lamp.”
  • “It’s our basic human right to be fuck ups.”
  • “To err is human. So… Uh…”

since everyones gettin kinda pissed off by the new dash, i suggest we take the car, go to mum’s, kill phil - “sorry.” - grab liz, go to the winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over

The plan is as follows: we shall take the chariot, journey to the home of mine mother, execute Phillip, take with us Elizabeth, travel forth to the Winchester, drink deeply of its brews, and patiently await for this storm of misfortunes to pass us by.

- Rosencrantz, Hamlet

Take the car, go to Mum’s, kill Phil, grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all this to blow over. - Shaun, Shaun of the Dead