have a nice bake

2

Happy Purim, all! I am the butterfly princess. :)

Bread poppet

Ah yes… I believe that its time to bust out a combination of two of my favorite things: curses and bread. 


  • The first thing you will need is a bread recipe. A simple, cheap bread recipe will do but I favor ones that have a dramatic rise where it gets nice and bloated as it bakes.
  • After after the first rise, give that dough a good, hard punch. Really give it what fer. 
  • Now you’re gonna mix in some bird seed. A good handful of bird seed. Mix it thoroughly. 
  • Get out a flat baking sheet and start forming the bread loaf in the shape of a body. Start with the torso, add arms and legs, and then the head. Don’t worry if it doesn’t look exactly like your target. Its not going to. Instead, what you’ll do is write their name on a slip of paper, or print out a photo of them. It helps a little to have the paper slightly damp. 
  • Before putting your poppet in the oven, slit his stomach and put the photo or name paper in there, along with an extra helping of birdseed. Pinch it closed. 
  • Put your poppet in the oven. Let that guy bake. 
  • When your poppet is baked, set him out to cool. 
  • Once he’s cooled, put him out where squirrels can find him.
  • Watch him get ripped apart. 
In Which I am Thicker than a Whale Omelete
  • Me: (texting) I know you'll be coming up late, but would you like me to have some dinner ready.
  • FWB: No dinner, but dessert would be nice ;)
  • ME: (Bakes brownies. Then, as I am pulling them out of the oven realize what was ACTUALLY meant.) I am an idiot.
Drunk Texting Cas

Originally posted by cgstiel

Pairing: CasxReader
Word count: Unknown
Warnings: None
Author: Mel

Y/N - Cas, did it hurt?
Cas- Did what hurt?  Many things on earth hurt. You may need to be more specific.
Y/N - when you fell from heaven.
Cas - that is not a pleasant thing to have happen Y/N.
Y/N- Are those space pants Cas?
Cas - They are the same pants I am always wearing. why?
Y/N - cuz your ass is out of this world.
Cas- .. I do not understand what is happening.
Y/N - was your dad a baker?
Cas - God is my father Y/N, you already know this. I am an angel of the Lord after all.
Y/N - cuz you have a nice set of buns.
Cas - Why are we now speaking about baked goods?
Y/N - Are you a keyboard?
Cas - I am an angel…
Y/N-  cuz you are just my type.
Cas - I am growing very confused with this conversation. I’m going to ask Dean what is happening.
Y/N - NO WAIT CASS DON’T!
Y/N - CAS!!??
Cas - Dean says you are intoxicated and thinks you are very interested in me sexually. He also finds this very amusing. I’m afraid he might asphyxiate if he continues to laugh this hard..
Y/N - I’m going to go die of embarrassment in the corner now thanks cas…
Cas - I don’t think that is truly possible, but if it is, I can always bring you back to life. :)

  • Me: *trying to lose weight and eat healthy* "Ok, no more sweets, I can't afford to eat all those calories.
  • My mom: "Hey I know I never buy sweets and I'm always trying to make sure we never have any junk food in the house, but I have suddenly decided to buy your favorite flavor of ice cream that we never ever have, and bake cookies each night, and bake a cake of chocolate death!!!"
  • Me: YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME WOMAN!!!

The technical challenge for The Great British Bake Off week 8 was Paul’s jumbles. That phrase sounds like it should be rude.

Ok first of all I’m aware they look like dried up dog turds. They would not brown nicely and I wasn’t going to leave them in the oven any longer than I already did. I put sugar on them like instructed but I have no idea what happened to it because there is no trace.

I couldn’t find mace or aniseed powder anywhere so I just substituted nutmeg, and I couldn’t grind up my caraway seeds very well either because I don’t have a pestle&mortar so they are pretty much still whole (but you can’t really tell so it’s okay). The dough tasted REALLY nice despite all this, but unfortunately a lot of the flavour seems to have gone in the baking and while they are still nice they are a lot more muted now, which is a shame. They probably need the aniseed.

The shaping process was an ordeal because for the round ones Paul just wrote “make a double knot” which means fuck-all to me - I think I figured it out but they don’t look quite right. The Celtic knots were better, however Paul’s instructions said “lay out as pictured,” yet in his inimitable prescience he didn’t actually include the diagram on the online recipe. I had to rewatch the episode and pause on the single frame that showed one of the contestant’s recipes on the bench in the background and use the diagram that was supplied to them. Mine are okay but a little untidy.

The texture is okay, and they are definitely edible, but I’m not particularly happy with the results!! For my efforts this week I will give myself a mere TWO supportive Mary Berrys, and three unhappy Paul Hollywoods making a horrible crunching sound as he uses a knife with too much force on one of those slate display plates.

♔ NAME: COLTON ROGERS  AGE: 20 YEARS FC: JOHN BOYEGA 

Colton Rogers had a very happy childhood, surrounded by love and entertainment from the moment that he took his first breath. Despite living in a fairly calm and boring city, he never grew bored and he never ran out of things to do as he made his own fun, usually playing with his friends exploring the neighborhood, their imaginations running wild. And he had many friends. It was hard not to like him. Kids knew that he was fun, he was nice and he always seemed to have fresh baked goods at home. Parents knew that he well behaved, he was grounded and he was smart. It was obvious to everyone that met the boy that he was going to do something special in his life. But no one really knew what that was, not even Colton. When he was questioned about what he wanted to do when he grew up, who he wanted to be, he seemed to have a new answer every single time.

His mind changed with the seasons, but no one could say that he didn’t give his dreams his all. When he wanted to be a basketball player, he stayed outside until he mastered the hook shot, well into the early morning. When he wanted to be a wrestler, he worked out until his entire body ached, every spare minute that he had spent in the gym. An artist, a teacher, a skateboarder. The word can’t was not in his dictionary. It wasn’t until he was sixteen that something finally stuck and Colton realized that more than anything, he wanted to go into the police force. He had always had a great appreciation for life though the older he got, the more he began to notice how much was wrong with the world and just how many people were willing to waste the time that they were given or sit on the sidelines and let it pass them by.

He was going to make a difference for those people, and for the people that felt burdened by them. His family had their doubts, everyone did, but he knew that this was the dream he had been looking for and with his will and determination, it wasn’t out of his reach. Two years before college his hard studying began. Watching every crime documentary he could get his hands on and checking every police related book out of the library, Colton was going to be on top of the game, he was going to make sure that nothing stood in his way. But his small town had limited school options so as hard as it was, he said his goodbyes to his family and bought a one way ticket to London. He had heard of a school there that sounded like a place of dreams, broken or whole, welcoming troubled students with open arms. He was far from that himself but what better place to prepare him to deal with criminals than a school full of delinquents?

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

+ dedicated, empathetic, humorous
- idealistic, passive, rigid

RECENTLY PLAYED SONGS:

  • Rocket Man — Elton John
  • Another Sad Love Song — Toni Braxton
  • Come To My Window — Melissa Etheridge

PAULA BEAUREGARD: Paula was beautiful, she was an old soul, she was special. It was hard not to be intrigued by her. And it was no secret that the feeling was mutual as she was usually the one initiating the flirting. But she was also the one that shied away when things got too serious. She didn’t have to be blunt, it was clear by the way she spoke that she didn’t believe her parents would accept him and that stung, but he didn’t know the whole story. Mostly because she wouldn’t tell him. All he knew was that she had her flaws but he accepted her for them and he believed that they could truly be happy together, if she just wasn’t so hung up on the idea of disappointing her parents.

PENDING: Message me if you would like a connection with Colton!

zacharyforprez2k17  asked:

Um hello sir. It's very nice to have meet someone with such a great interest in baking that isn't a crazed madman or dazed worker.

Ah well it’s very nice to meet you too I’m Jackson egbert or you can call me dad anyway yes baking has always been a passion for baking it’s my therapy

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She’s all done!  I decided to do post-grady (she’s alive damn it!) Beth Greene pop vinyl since Funko hasn’t deigned to make one yet.

If you want to make you’re own Beth Green Funko Pop here’s what you’ll need and how.

  • Jupiter Jones Funko Pop Vinyl figure- Available on Amazon for $9.23 
  • Acrylic paints- I used Craft smart in yellow (shirt & hair), Crafts smart in Mediterranean blue mixed with Americana Zinc (jeans), Yard & garden brand in Earth Brown, and Anita’s all purpose acrylic in Dark Red (scars, blood stains)- These run about $1-2 a color.  You can go with more expensive acrylics, but I used the cheap ones and it turned out fine.
  • Apoxie Sculpt for hair pieces and braid (this is optional)- $16.25 available on amazon -price might fluctuate.  This is air dry, so you don’t have to bake it which is nice. 
  • Exacto and or sculpting tools
  • Paint brushes, variety in small sizes
  • Water
  • Sealant


Optional step

Separate head from body.  I wasn’t able to get mine off, but had I done so it would’ve made painting the body easier.  Supposedly you can soak the figure in hot water and then twist the head back and forth and it’ll eventually come off. If you break the connecting piece you can superglue the head back on. I didn’t feel like doing this because I’m kind of messy and probably would’ve glued my fingers together.

Step One

First you need to get your supplies.  If you want her hair three dimensional as I did you’ll need the Apoxie sculpt.  Apoxie sclupt is a two part clay- you take even amounts from each jar and knead it together until it’s all one color. When you first knead it it’s very sticky and it’ll become a little more workable as it dries. 

Once it’s more manageable (try giving it 15-20 minutes) flatten out your clay. I then cut out the bang shapes with an exacto and placed them on her, moving them around a bit with my fingers and pressing the end towards the middle into the head.  

For the braid roll out three trips of the clay (even length and width) and then just braid them. This is a tricky process since the clay is sticky. 

Once you have the pieces cut and positioned how you like dip you paint brush in a bit of water and use it to smooth your clay.  This will let you do some refining and take away the finger prints you got on it. 

Once done let dry over night before you begin painting.

If you don’t want to use the sculpt here is the paint only option. You just paint on the bangs instead of sculpting them.  If you wondering what’s up with her mouth this is the first one that my dog killed before I could finish so I used it for testing paints.

Step 2: Prepping for paint.

Once you sculpt is dry you may want to take some sandpaper to it to get out any rough spots.  I didn’t, but some pop customizers prefer to prime their pops before painting, but it’s not really necessary- just means more layers for the yellow, but I feel like priming it would make more work.

Step 3: Painting

Okay now that you have your Beth Greene bangs sculpted it’s time for painting. As mentioned above, use acrylics. Some people have also used airbrush, but that’s for fancy folks….or just ones who have more money to spend.  Anyway you’ll need to do several thin layers of paint on this.  Don’t over load your brushes with the paint, try to get an even amount on both sides of your brush.  The yellow shirt and hair will take the most layers, just keep going until there are no more streaks.  The pants took about two coats, 1 or 2 for the belt. 

On the boots I decided to just muddy them up since the originals are already brown. I put a coat of the earth brown and then took a q-tip to dab it to give them a more worn look. 

I then used the red and a very thin tiny brush to do the scars.  I used a q-tip to dab blood stains onto her shirt and jeans. 

Final Step: Sealant

I still have to seal my Beth pop so I don’t have sealant recommendation yet. The sealant is a way to protect and preserve your pop. You can either get a glossy or matte sealer for it- they come in brush on or spray.  Pick your poison, they both work.

Hope this helps someone and if you make your own please send me pictures!