I genuinely hope you find happiness in England, and I hope the nhs can help you- free healthcare rocks :> <3
ME. FUCKING. TOO. this year has been a /catastrophe/ for me as someone chronically and mentally ill and not getting the healthcare ive needed…
man like the month i just spent in London w Sam was so good and it was so good FOR me…before i left i was so sick, i didnt think id be able to do ANYTHING while i was there…but it was amazing, being able to be with someone i really loved, who wanted to help me manage all my problems without any complaints (they went and bought a ton of food that i could eat before i even got there bc i have weirdly specific dietary needs lmao) and it was just. so nice. we were able to watch out for each other and we both benefitted from it so much. i was still sick, i still had pain and fatigue and anxiety but i also had THEM and they didnt hold any of my disability against me even once. and after a relationship where i was routinely manipulated as a result of the help i needed just to live with my illnesses, it was…world-changing.
and if i could get good health care ON TOP OF THAT boy oh boy we are in business i might actually be able to really focus on my art again and start living the life i WANT
You know what? Life ain’t perfect but I’m happy. Every morning I get to wake up and talk to the love of my life, I have the first cigarette of the day and my drink of choice while watching the sunrise fill the house with warm light and I’m just… Content to be right here.
The ways i display romance are by emotionally comforting people and showering them in material objects, ranging from personal handmade goods like portraits or letters or mixed cds, or external gifts like rocks, flowers, food, cigarettes, etc. I want my loved 1s to have their needs met emotionally and physically!!!
I notice very small details about people like how they hold pencils, what flavors of beverage they like, how they are bodilykinesthetic when listening to music, i notice when their eyes are down cast or when the corners of their lips are turning up,
I love people so so much and i just!!! Want my love to be apparent and tangible and encompassing!!!
I found myself craving the taste of tobacco.
I craved the feeling of
having a cigarette between
my lips, and inhaling the
I’ve grown to love. Now, I’m not a smoker.
But you were.
And smoking was your bad habit. The one thing
you couldn’t quit, even for me.
So you left.
And with you gone I missed
the musky smell of cigarettes.
Next thing I know, I’m lighting
an old pack of your cigarettes,
trying to remember what it
was like having you around.
I don’t smoke, that’s your
My bad habit was you,
and I am addicted to you.
I saw an ask on one of your pages, I can’t remember which, where a person asked if they should write to prisoners about the stuff they do, experiences they have. Or if that’s cruel, knowing the inmate can do none of it themselves.
I got a letter yesterday from an inmate that I’ve been writing for a year or so. We are strictly friends, no romance. In the beginning I started telling him about little adventures or whatever and he asked questions so I kept it up. Part of that letter yesterday said this:
“I progress and seek to better myself within a system of destruction, out of drive, determination, and defiance. You help me to remember what it feels like to talk to friends, have lovers, smoke cigarettes, pet my dogs, walk or road trip at random, love intensely, and feel things without restraint. My feelings are there with the memories as vivid as ever, but the drone of prison keeps them contained and my mind preoccupied. You help me take the lid of, and in a way, be free.”
Everyone is different but the anon should give it a try.
Small Lifestyle final! One of our paper dolls on a vacation, and their traveling necessities. I totally indulged in thinking up the sort of things my character Shiloh would have~ (sans cigarettes in his actual context haha)