Matching ponchos because it sounded like a good idea at the time and I needed something to make me happy

it worked.

French Haurchefant Strikes Again

Me: I don’t think there will be anything too scandalous in his dialogue here as he is just telling us to go meet with Aymeric in the intercessory. But I will check just in case. 

Haurchefant: I’ve been working on my leg muscles a lot recently. I don’t mean to brag but my quads are insane. If you don’t believe me you just have to come with me to my bedroom and I’ll show you everything

Me: …. Why did I ever doubt him… 

Edit: this is what he says in English by the way.

They are not even the same person tbh.

  • Haurchefant: Frequently and fervently expresses his "approval" of the WoL's extremely attractive body, whether they're male or female, lalafell or roegadyn, and got borderline horny from watching them spar with his knights.
  • Haurchefant: Invites the WoL to dinner, a date, and his private chambers on multiple occasions in multiple localizations.
  • Haurchefant: Exuberantly proclaims his desire to have the WoL literally be his personal steed, promising to feed them the finest carrots and scrub their feet and probably a whole lot more.
  • Haurchefant: Tries to send you a sexy bathing suit as a present.
  • Haurchefant: Tries to run after the WoL when he finds out they're putting themselves at risk to chase after the heretics and fight Shiva, and it literally takes six fully-trained knights to hold him down; when the WoL comes back victorious he scolds them for not inviting him and making him worry so much.
  • Haurchefant: Unconditionally supports the WoL in everything that they do, taking them in and giving them a home when they became wanted fugitives, trying to cheer them up with hot chocolate and words of encouragement.
  • Haurchefant: Happily gives the WoL a fully-trained flying chocobo with no prompting at all (And in the JP client's description of the Black Chocobo in the Mount Guide, the kanji for romantic love '愛' is used to describe his feelings for the WoL).
  • Haurchefant: Got teary-eyed in front of his subordinates because he was so worried about the WoL while they were in Dravania.
  • Haurchefant: Fights like the devil to protect the WoL from anything that threatens them, be it a wyvern, a horde of angry Vundu, or a sadistic and homicidal member of the Heavens' Ward.
  • Haurchefant: Often tells the WoL how much their strength inspires him and calls them his "hero," but deeply cares about them as a person first and foremost.
  • Haurchefant: Puts himself between the WoL and a spear of death aimed at them, and even as he's dying, they're his only concern, wanting their smile to be the last thing he'll ever see.
  • Dev Team: Yep his feelings for the WoL were nothing more than platonic, HE ONLY SAW THEM AS A FRIEND MMMHMMM.