If one hypothetically wanted to read your Eldritch Abomination Garfield fic, how would one go about finding it as directly searching for 'garfield' hypothetically does not include the fic?
“They bought it?” Lyman asked as Jon hung up the phone.
“I got the contract,” Jon confirmed, dazed. “I’m — I’m syndicated.”
“You did it, man!” Lyman said, clapping him on the back. Odie barked.
“They’re already thinking about merchandising deals,” Jon continued, staring into space.
“I told you things were going to turn around for you,” Lyman said with a nod. Odie continued barking, making it clear that he was not just trying to be supportive. “Hey, look, I’ve gotta take the dog for a walk. If the alarm goes off while I’m gone, can you take dinner out of the oven?”
“Yeah,” Jon said, with no real conception of what he was agreeing to. He still had not yet finished processing that phone call, the idea that he was going to be paid, consistently, that he was a working cartoonist, that his comics would be in papers. Merchandising deals. Merchandising.
It was not until he heard the door that Jon realized he was alone in the apartment.
Just him, and Garfield.
From the corner, it growled.
Jon’s heart spasmed; he hadn’t realized it was in the same room. “H—hey,” he said. It would have been a dumb thing to say if it was a normal cat. It was a dumber thing to say under the circumstances. Its eyes glowed red in the shadows. “How are you?” he asked, then winced as the cat growled again. “Heard the good news?” he asked weakly.
MY END OF THE CONTRACT HAS BEEN FULFILLED
It rumbled through his brain like an earthquake, words without words. He covered his ears even though it wouldn’t help. “Yeah, thanks for—”
I WILL FEED
Jon’s heart spasmed again, overwhelmed with the sense of a hunger not his own. “Right, about that—”
YOU WILL FEED ME it said, words written in blood, thick and hot.
“—yes, I got that, I’m just not really sure what I’m supposed to—”
MEAT and the word throbbed, tore.
“Would chicken be okay?”
UNACCEPTABLE it said in broken bone and jellied marrow.
“I don’t want to stereotype you by assuming you want to eat my roommate—”
YES GIVE ME HIS HEART it said, pulsing, torn flesh.
The glowing eyes moved from the shadows, grew larger, taller. Hellfire, if fire could cast dark instead of light, orange and red, fire and blood. The indistinct shape that might have been a cat became an indistinct shape that might have been a man, large, always large. Jon shrank back as it stretched to fill the room, tried not to look directly at it. Hot breath and sharp teeth against his skin, even though it couldn’t have been, because he was still wearing his jacket.
There was a chiming sound.
WHAT WAS THAT
“Uh.” Jon swallowed, hard. “Dinner?”
“Yes,” Jon said, “but I don’t know if you can eat people food…”
Garfield sat in the middle of the floor, wide as it was tall. Its gaze was baleful.
“Right. You can eat whatever you want.” Slowly Jon inched around the cat to head toward the kitchen. “I don’t really know what it is, though. It might be… vegan.”
Garfield hissed, the sound of pain, and Jon fled toward the oven.
I SMELL MEAT
Jon stopped himself from telling the cat get off the counter. “I think it’s a casserole,” he said, removing the dish to set it on the stove. He gingerly removed the lid, his hands safely wrapped in oven mitts. “Oh. It’s lasagna.”
GIVE IT TO ME
“It has to cool,” Jon said. Garfield hissed again, and the sound turned Jon’s blood to fiberglass. He backed away, and the cat leapt bodily and entirely into the baked pasta. It did not seem bothered by the fact that the pasta sauce was still bubbling, and Jon tried not to look at the void of its mouth. A black hole rimmed with fangs, an absence of all light, drawing in all that it touched to disappear within.
WHAT IS THIS it asked, and a hellfire paw batted at a stretchy piece of mozzarella.
The cat-shaped thing nodded, still sitting in the dish of lasagna.
WE DO NOT HAVE THIS
“You don’t have cheese in hell?”
It nodded again.
“I guess that’s what makes it hell.” If Garfield appreciated this observation, it did not show it. It cracked open its maw again, more lasagna disappearing, and Jon looked away. “That lasagna was supposed to feed us for a week,” he sighed. “How much longer do I need to do this?” he asked.
UNTIL YOU ARE SATISFIED
“Until I’m satisfied?”
YOU MUST FEED ME TO SATISFY YOUR HUNGER
Realization dawned. “Wait, but — I thought this was a one-time thing.”
IT WAS NOT
“If you leave, I get fired?”
“So I might still be able to make it on my own.”
DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR SKILL IS ENOUGH TO BRING YOU ALL THAT YOU DESIRE
Jon thought of the portfolio sitting in his room, and sagged. “… no.”
It grew, limbs stretching, claws turning to fingers and then claws again. It sat on the counter like a solid mirage, licking red from its hands.
YOU WILL HAVE RICHES BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS it said in truffle oil and fur and gold. SO LONG AS I AM FED YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HUNGER
Syndication and merchandising deals and maybe someday a cartoon on television. His signature in every newspaper in every house in the country. In the world, even. He raked his fingers through his curls and tried not to look at its claws.
“I guess I’m stuck with you, then,” Jon said.
It didn’t slide off the counter the way a man would, shifted off like drifting smoke or licking flames, stood and was no shorter. Tall and broad and solid, a weight to its presence as it moved closer. Jon shrank back again as it loomed, and this show of submission seemed to please it. Hot breath and sharp teeth against his skin again, and he shivered.
The existence of paranormal entities is widely debated. Some people have direct experience with non-human and non-living beings, while some dismiss the idea as ridiculous. No matter what you believe, you have probably heard the following terms in reference to supernatural entities and while some terms seem interchangeable, these refer to specific presence.
Spirit - General term for any non-physical entity.
Ghost - The most common term used to refer to a spirit is “ghost”, but “ghost” refers only to spirits of once-living things, like humans and animals.
Poltergeist - The term “poltergeist” refers to two kinds of supernatural activity. One involves spirits, human or otherwise, that cause havoc or chaos. These spirits often manipulate electronics and objects to elicit a reaction from the living. The second form of poltergeist haunting has to do with energies emitted from children or adolescents that manifest physically and cause chaos.
Thoughtforms - Thoughtforms are entities created by thought energy. Though they are usually created for a certain purpose, they can often develop a mind of their own and their own agendas.
Residual Hauntings - Residual hauntings are caused by leftover energy or emotions from a specific event that leaves an imprint in the physical world. These hauntings may manifest as a recurring physical events, such as a certain object being moved over and over again or a specific sound being heard with no source.
Shadow People - Shadow People are figures seen on the edge of one’s vision. They are considered to be bad omens
Parasitic Entities (Demons) - Parasitic entities (including what some refer to as Demons) are supernatural beings that feed off of the energy of a living host or victim.
Doppelgangers - Doppelgangers are spirits that appear in the form of a living person. They are known to appear to a person as themselves to warn them of their imminent death.
Guides - These spirits could have once been human, but do that is not always the case. They linger close to certain people in order to watch over them. These spirits are known to communicate with mediums.
Gifs freeze in gifsets for no reason: the ongoing saga
Have you noticed lately, in your dashboard or when you visit someone’s blog, in your mobile/s or your computer/s, that there’s one gif not moving in a gifset? Normally just one, maybe sometimes more? Most frequently with gifsets that aren’t new, maybe months or years old? Perhaps you did and thought it was just you, your internet connection or that the person who originally uploaded it wasn’t careful with the sizes. I’m here to tell you it’s probably not that.
I started noticing this over a month ago. I came across one of my older gifsets and one of the gifs wasn’t moving properly. I thought I had, for some reason, messed up the sizes, so I made it again, re-uploaded it and it got fixed. All was well, until I realized that it was happening with more of my gifsets, some of which I had their respective files still saved in my computer. When I re-uploaded the same exact gif as it was originally uploaded, it got fixed. When I tried downloading the one which didn’t move and compare it to either the original or another one, which was moving, from the same gifset, the one not moving seemed like a still image in photoshop, without the frames and with a different size than it originally had. I started fearing there was a glitch or something ruining my gifs and I was going to have to replace each one manually for them to work properly again.
So I gave up trying to figure it out and mailed the Staff. I sent them the link to my post and a copy of the gif I had originally uploaded, so they could see it wasn’t the size. Their response was that they saw the gifset perfectly, that I must have been the one with the problem (!!!!). They gave me the normal instructions (check all your extensions, update your Chrome, restart your computer) but nothing worked. And I knew it wasn’t going to anyway, because my sister, who also uses tumblr, had seen this happen in other gifsets from other people as well.
Feeling like the lead in a horror flick of the early 2000s when they know the house is haunted but people around them insist they just need some sleep, I decided to get some back up and asked people about it, in and out of tumblr. I sent the link out in social media to know what others saw in the same gifset. Out of 13 people who responded to me that same day, only 2 people saw it perfectly. The other 11 saw one gif not moving, some saw the same one I did and others saw another gif not moving, but there was always at least one. This was not my problem for sure.
I sent this to the Staff with gif screencaps of what I saw in my blog, my dash and the pop-up sidebar on my dash (because the gifs not moving change in one or the others sometimes). And then asked my brother about it. He said it was probably how Tumblr is handling proxy so we used a proxy site to change different servers to the link. Lo and behold, in a European server, for example, the gifset moved perfectly, but in a US one, one of the gifs didn’t move, however, it wasn’t the same one I saw not moving from Argentina, it was another one. Whatever is happening, there’s where the issue lies.
Basically, it’s not me. Or you, if this has happened to you. And your gifs aren’t ruined or not properly sized or have a glitch. As of today, the last message I got from the Staff was that they were working on it and passing it to the appropriate people to handle, so we’ll have to wait patiently until it’s solved. I’m leaving it be and it’s in their hands now, but at least I have a vague idea of where the problem lies. So if this is something you have experienced in the past months, now you know why it might be happening. For some reason, I haven’t seen many posts about this, maybe people thought it was their internet connection or their extensions or that OPs messed up sizes and kept scrolling without paying it any mind. Maybe I missed a huge post about it and what I’m saying isn’t news to anyone. Still, I thought it was appropriate to let you know.
Whenever I get a message from the Staff, I’ll update this post.
UPDATE (May 2017): I ended up never receiving an answer back from the staff. I continued monitoring the gif situation in gifsets I knew I had problems with, from different sources. Some time after my conversation with the staff, and after other messages were sent by various other users who replied to this post with their experiences (and who received the same exact answer I did, word by word, you can see it here), the problem seemed to have been resolved. I waited to update this post because, shortly after, I experienced in my location another brief period of proxy issues (I had experienced them before in our servers here, during them images don’t load properly, they show as if the internet service wasn’t working correctly, and the only way to fix it is using a proxy based app like Hola and changing proxy to another location). I decided to wait and see if that resolved itself like the other times, and it did, but I’m assuming it won’t be the last time we have these kinds of issues, since that wasn’t the first. So, long story short, now it seems the gif problem is solved, for what I can see, but I didn’t receive any response from the staff about it and there are still proxy issues going on in different servers from time to time.
1. You and your love are both soft and haunted and some people will come into your life and take that softness for granted. This is just how the world is, my darling, diamonds exist but so do wolves and sometimes it is the diamonds that we need to watch out for because they are made of cold and wolves still have heartbeats and are just misunderstood. Navigating the world is a hard thing, especially for girls who are made of story flavoured madness and seeking happy endings here that are harder than finding a pearl in the deepest part of ocean.
2. I have known of too many girls who have both become and died in the embrace of men that should have loved them better but chose to let them go. Both Gods and men tend to treat dreamers and romantics with an equal part of disdain and neglect. I have ached for them, but watching sadness does things to a persons mind and heart.
3. My cousin was a small girl with dreams the size of a country and determination made of a bullet that penetrated every job she ever did. I never once saw her fail and then she fell in love. Even bullets can dissolve when put in enough heat. Watching her melt from a gun to a wound was enough to teach me that alone had a lovely sound to it.
4. Alone and lonely are two different things. Alone means nights with my books. Alone means quiet star gazing and drinking tea drinking on my roof. Alone means hours of self aware retrospection in a coffee shop whilst scribbling poetry. But most importantly alone means not wilting into the arms of a man who may not appreciate the stars and poetry. Lonely is carnal. Lonely is craven. Lonely is sad.
5. I thought I was safe in my alone. But love is a wicked predator, it found my hiding place even in a forest. To do so, it set my beautiful forest of alone on fire.
6. For a while, we were happy. For a while, love almost had me believe that I was wrong. Until the day you left, like a hurricane leaves the ocean. For good.
7. I crumbled. Picked myself up. And crumbled again. Eventually I lost track of how many times I had to get up. Eventually you began to fade into the graveyard of the still living people that have abandoned me in my head.
8. I am better now. The forest of my alone finally has grown back from the ashes. Bigger and better than before, my alone is beautiful. It is slowly filling the graves you left inside me with self love and healing. My alone is softer with my heart than your love has ever left it feeling.