hatoful-boyfriend

Hatoful Boyfriend: A Summary
  • Ryouta:Professional crossdresser
  • Sakuya:Problematic fav
  • Kazuaki:*is the teacher* *sleeps through class*
  • Nageki:PLEASE BE QUIET IN THE LIBRARY
  • Yuuya:*sneaks along wall humming Mission Impossible theme*
  • Okosan:PUDDING
  • Anghel:*crashes through window*
  • Shuu:*jokes about dismembering people*
  • Bad Boys Love Story:
  • Ryouta:Professional crossdresser moonlights as homicide detective
  • Sakuya:CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
  • Kazuaki:*far too calm in every situation*
  • Nageki:Probably dead
  • Yuuya:*is beautiful; knows everything*
  • Okosan:*Pokemon references*
  • Anghel:*boss battle music*
  • Shuu:*ACTUALLY dismembers people*
  • Holiday Star:
  • Ryouta:Actual housewife and part time magical girl
  • Sakuya:Gullible bag of dicks
  • Kazuaki:*miraculously stays awake through math*
  • Nageki:Probably not dead?
  • Yuuya:Shows up 15 minutes late with Starbucks and an assault rifle
  • Okosan:Loves you
  • Anghel:*crashes through fourth wall*
  • Shuu:*jokes about dismembering people*

i love that when you first meet the doctor he’s completely shrouded in gruesome rumors and everybody is like “be careful hiyoko! i hear he literally murders people with a cleaver!” it’s like that fucking episode of arthur where they all think mr. ratburn eats nails for breakfast and collects severed heads. us genre-savvy players are all thinking, oh great, there’s going to be some fakeout and he’s actually just a kind, very lonely, misunderstood school doctor with a bad reputation and we’re going to get to learn his tragic backstory on his route etc. but no, there’s absolutely no fakeout, and he literally murders people with a cleaver. i love that

what she says: i’m fine

what she means: hatoful boyfriend is a dating sim starring a human girl in a school for birds. the goal of the game is to date the birds at your school, even though you’re a human being yourself.  I only bought the game as a joke, and expected it to maybe give me a good laugh or two because the concept was so ridiculous. the first bird i decided to date was nageki because i sorta felt sorry for him since he didn’t seem to have any friends. an hour later i was crying. hatoful boyfriend ended up taking me on an emotional journey that i’m still recovering from. i can no longer look at a bird without being reminded of the birds of st. pigeonations. today i saw i dove and i nearly started crying because it reminded me of ryouta. this is my life now. i can only hope the pain will eventually pass, while i count down the days for the release of hatoful boyfriend: holiday star remaster