hatedates

anonymous asked:

..Did you not read that conversation between John, Dave and Karkat where Dave was visibly jealous by Karkat bringing up his past black crush on John? Or remember when Dave broke up with Terezi BECAUSE he was uncomfortable with her dating Gamzee at the same time? Also that part about penis ouija, right before that Karkat had a conversation where he said he wanted her "in every quadrant" specifically so that he "could have her all to himself" and compared it to joke characters in troll romcoms

A. I don’t think it’s that uncommon for a person to get jealous or flustered or whatever when their partner brings up an old flame or crush

B. Dave broke up with Terezi because she didn’t tell him she was also hatedating Gamzee and he didn’t understand it.

C.That doesn’t really factor into potential polyamory but rather highlights Karkat’s weird obsession and idealization of Terezi

Send a number for our muses to do something fluffy!

➊ Go on a hatedate
➋ Cuddle in bed
➌ Build a pillow fort
➍ Buy each other roses
➎ Eat out in a special restaurant
➏ Read fluffy fanfiction of their favorite ships
➐ Sing karaoke
➑ Give each other a massage
➒ Taking care of their sick partner
➓ Watch a sappy movie together

 

maria-artz  asked:

Hey, ya said John is supposedly the only heterosexual character. Well yeah that might be true cause his ghost was in a relationship with Vriska's ghost at some point. But what about Jade? She has only been in a relationship with Davesprite. And what about Gamzee? He hatedated Terezi on the meteor. But trolls are usually bisexual though... And also I'm pretty sure Vrisrezi is pale in canon. They're moirails

uh well thats not what i meant i was going by johns own words and how he personally identifies himself

but listen dog im a person too like im just out here just like you

edit: i mean like everyone has diff opinions and im by no means anyone official like im just a person here making posts so what i say is by no means canon most of if not everything i say here is personal opinion and from my own way of thinking i didnt mean to sound defensive i just meant to say youre allowed to have interpretations and opinions on whatever you want u kno bc we all think differently

This seems promising.

oh my god, karkat. Two lines in and I’m losing it already.

This is a work of fucking art. I’m gonna print this entire thing out and nail it to my door so I can look at it evert morning and remember that I can never hope to write dialogue this good. I have no words.

asdfkglmnopldorgfltbrm

this is the best fucking thing i’ve ever laid eyes upon. holy shit

Of course John would be so nonchalant about it. You can just see Karkat staring blankly at the screen as his train of thought gets violently thrown off its rails after a direct collision with the phrase “hi karkat!”.  It’s wonderful.

Poor guy. His fate had been sealed the moment he attempted contact with John Human, Friendship Specialist Extraordinaire. Now the microscopic worms of this disease are nesting deep inside his brain, rotting it slowly. The illness has claimed another victim.

An aside: oh god will this bug get off my desk arleady. Sir. Madame. Excuse me but could you get off? Please? You need to get off. I’m trying to write a reaction here and you’re rather killling the mood. No, this is neither an exit nor the moon, it’s my fucking computer screen and knocking yourself against it won’t help you in any endeavor I can imagine.

So here’s Karkat, subtly dancing around inviting John to a romantic hatedate, candles and all. And what is John’s response?

Ouch. Poor guy.

Karkat that doesn’t even make sense. You okay dude

Oh man, this whole thing. There’s Karkat getting kismesisblocked, again. There’s him running out of complex metaphors and collapsing in a puddle of fuck you’s. There’s “see you soon”, which can only mean they’re gonna meet at some point and THANK GOD I’VE BEEN WORRIED THEY’D BE STUCK IN SEPARATE PLANES OF EXISTENCE FOREVER. I was so concerned about this, because between the backwards trolling, the miscommunications and half the trolls refusing to communicate there haven’t been many chances to form linear relationships and if the last John heard of Karkat was some shitty trolling attempt from minute 1 it would break my heart into a million pieces. So thank every possible deity that isn’t happening. Can’t wait for them to actually meet.

In conclusion, this is my favorite log so far and I am in fact convinced that God made this world solely so this piece of text could one day be written.

  • ROXY: john i know all about ur little hatecrush on cranky rubyshades
  • JOHN: what!! i--- dave's lying to you he's just trying to mess with me!!
  • ROXY: dude it was just from observation
  • JOHN: what?? shit!
  • ROXY: yea u get mad nervous around each other like theres somethin u dont wanna acknowledge
  • JOHN: augh... dammit. yeah. i think its true....
  • JOHN: sorry roxy :( i love you a lot and didnt wanna mess up what we have
  • ROXY: lmfao
  • JOHN: ??
  • ROXY: dude its ok i know how the troll shit works im p open minded about it what w/ bein raised by chess ppl in neo troll land
  • JOHN: ...what are you suggesting?
  • ROXY: u can go on ur lil hatedates with scarf girl im not gonna dump u cause its a different thing
  • JOHN: :o
  • ROXY: but only if u let me hatedate ur sister---
  • JOHN: WHAT
  • ROXY: john ur sister is damn fine but also annoying as shit i want to kiss her
  • JOHN: IS EVERYONE GAY???
  • ROXY: bisexual lol

anyone who really thinks terezi would go thru to the new universe and be ~satisfied~ hatedating john and never like even spare a thought for vriska doesnt understand terezi at all

Caliborn thinks he's being clever, AKA hatedate with Eridan

Caliborn had been planning for this for quite a while now, but he hadn’t thought this step through. He was honestly shit at coming up with dates and while he wouldn’t admit it out loud, he knew it. It made him a little nervous that he hadn’t thought about this first part of the date and he was hoping that his nervousness didn’t show. Eridan was bringing candles for some reason and he didn’t know what he expected. He couldn’t cook for shit, so during the preparations he slipped out of his respiteblock and managed to successfully alchemize food this time. Food that wasn’t just disgusting goo and grease in a bad. Alchemized McDonald’s food, he remembered enjoying it on Earth so he figured, why not? He made ten burgers for himself and a kid’s meal for Eridan, which included small fries and a single chicken nugget.

He brought it back to the room and tossed the toy out of the obnoxiously colored box, replacing it with a single brick. That should do nicely.

He had already run preparations in his little torture chamber and everything was in place. The biggest issues at hand were the initial date and getting him there. He wished himself luck and shot a message Eridan’s way to let him know he was ready for him to show up.

– unmitigatedUmbrage [uu] began jeering calibornsAquarium [CA] –

uu: HEY. JACKASS.
uu: EVERYTHING IS READY. GET YOuR FAT ASS OVER HERE.
uu: AND DON’T SET ANYTHING ON FIRE WITH THOSE STuPID CANDLES YOu’RE BRINGING. OR WHATEVER.

-unmitigatedUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering calibornsAquarium [CA] –